new here and could use some advice/opinions

[decisions12]

Those lines are still a bit cryptic to me, but maybe it will all make sense when your story is finished.

I really hope so, this is taking forever to write!

[coastalkid]

Oh my! What an experience! Brilliant retelling!

[elina]

Please don't be sorry for taking some time.
You have plenty of time...

I am truly greatful for you telling the story in details.
It is different than most other cuckold stories here, but that makes it even more interesting.

Sincerely
elina

Sincerely
elina

[Greg_N_Shelley]

Here's something that I know from various comments that some of you won't understand- J and I belong to each other, totally and completely, and that's the way we both want it. She belongs in my arms, always.

You might be surprised.

There are many in this community for whom humiliation and power dynamics is a major turn on. Those are whom Dream Weaver was alluding to by the term “cucks.”

But there is also a large number of us for whom compersion is the main driving force—a very powerful sense of joy and erotic charge that comes from witnessing our lady in a state of amplified pleasure and joy, regardless of who is doing the pleasuring. The “other man” is simply an invited guest, chosen for his talents, novelty, and fit with the couple’s collective psyche.

For me, compersion is so powerful it often induces a transcendental-type state—indescribable beauty. I jokingly describe my shy wife’s transformation into an Eros-possessed diva in those experiences as the Oracle of Aphrodite. And myself, her High Priest. And the guy with the 9-inches and world class fuck skills as an essential part of the rite of invocation. Three people sharing something indescribably beautiful together—a playful celebration of love, uninhibited fun, and joy.

And when the clothes go back on and the door closes behind him, it’s just her and I again, “belong[ing] to each other, totally and completely, and that's the way we both want it.”

Given everything you’ve written and the immense love you have for your wife, I suspect you may understand better than your words suggest.

----

Sorry for the digression. I’m eager to hear the rest of your story.

[decisions12]

Thank you guys, it's become a bit of a slog so I'm glad I'm not wasting my time.

Ok Greg, you're right. I do understand more than I thought I did. Nice explanation.

[Johnlark]

decisions12 take your time. Appreciate you sharing this with the community. It’s beautiful to see how much you care about J and how much you both love eachother.

[decisions12]

I sat in the garage and there wasn't much going on in my head. A deep love for J, but I tend to feel that most of the time anyway, and then a mess of trying to make sense of what just happened. Impossible though it was, I had just heard my wife having sex with me. The bizarreness of it meant making sense of it was impossible. J says that in time my brain will connect the known information that makes sense- hearing her screaming my name, what came next- by inventing something that does make sense, and it's going to go straight for the most obvious solution. If this works, and J is very confident it will, at some point in the future we will share the same, very strong memory of an event that never actually happened.

Yeah, me either.

J is sure the memory witchcraft will work and all the early indications are that it is doing so. It's been 24 hours or so and every time I think of yesterday it's either dominated by one of my favourite memories or my mind walks away from it because it's just too bizarre.

Again I stress that J is ok with me sharing all of this and again would like to ask that you please remember that she does not share your kinks/lifestyle and does read this thread.

The bit that J isn't totally sure of but we're really really hoping works is transferring the specific desires of the CSBD from something that . I can't satisfy to something that I can. There are a couple more memory tricks but mostly what comes next is about that.

Back when J first started struggling she tried various things to get it under control. She discovered that if she did something she thought of as "dirty" it held the urges back a little bit for a little while. The very dirtiest thing for J (and if at least one of the people reading this doesn't say "bless her innocent little heart" I will be very surprised) is anal. Big no go, I learnt that very early on. Don't touch, don't ask, don't suggest, don't hint, don't even dream. Then she discovered that she can achieve anal orgasms quite easily without much depth of penetration.

Yes I asked the obvious question at this point too. J tried to ask me on multiple occasions but has always hit a mental block that screams "dirty dirty dirty" at her and she could never get the words out. She also tried on a few occasions to simply guide me into "the wrong hole" but couldn't force herself to do it.

But there was enough there to encourage her to work at the problem, and she slowly started to gather ideas and form them into a plan. When she was sure the plan was as good as she could make it she started on the road to getting me prepared for what was coming. I'm still not entirely sure she chose the best method but I can't deny that it worked so we'll leave it at that.

When J closed the door she immediately turned to run upstairs but I was waiting and the moment I heard the door shut I was out of the garage and called her. We fell into each others arms and checked we were both ok, then J said something like "if you've got anything important to say, make it quick because we need to be in bed NOW." The look she gave me convinced me that there was nothing in the world that was important enough for me to be brave enough to say it, except "I love you" so I said that and she dragged me upstairs.

(As I was writing the next bit I remembered I'd say when something I wasn't expecting happened. At the time I did not know about all her experiments, just that she had done some and she thought she might have a solution. I knew something was going to happen, but I didn't know what.) As best I remember them, these were J's words when we got into the (main) bedroom: "Every single part of me knows that you just fucked me to jelly, so now there is a small window where my brain will allow you to do whatever you want to my body because it expects it to be pleasurable. Why are your clothes still on?"

Aside- because why not feed my dilemma some more- as I was getting undressed she took off her robe and I saw her pussy. Just...wow. No further comment. We're something like 27 hours on and I still haven't taken her there because she's a bit sore. Anyway...

Second core memory: taking my wife's anal virginity. And not like I imagined it would be if I ever got the chance. Some of J's words at the time- harder, faster, make it hurt, do whatever you want.

Third core memory: the first ever time I gave my wife an orgasm via penetration and the way she screamed my name

I don't know why, maybe it was because I'd already come a few hours ago and I'm getting on a bit but I think it more likely that it was because J needed me to, but I lasted a very long time. J had several orgasms and we did everything we could think of that involved my dick and her arse. I called her names I never meant and she constantly begged for more...more...more. J's words: "if you're close to coming I want to suck you." And she swallowed again. I had the same thought I'd had a while earlier- if that doesn't do it for her nothing will.

A few hours later when J was no longer in what she called "D's little fuckslut" mode she wanted to test if her brain would now let me in the back gate. I am delighted to report that it would. It did again first thing this morning and again just after lunch. J says it's way to early to know whether it's worked permanently but so far whenever the urge starts creeping in, we've driven it away. And we are both absolutely loving it.

So that's where we are right now. It's been a rough time, the last few days have been a whirlwind, but J is now at peace, at least for a while. Hopefully this works permanently but if not J should be able to hold off long enough to see the specialist and find a medical solution. We are both very calm, and feel like everything is as it should be.

Thankyou for caring enough to listen.

D

[decisions12]

decisions12 take your time. Appreciate you sharing this with the community. It’s beautiful to see how much you care about J and how much you both love eachother.

Thank you for your kind words.

[Johnlark]

What a pleasant surprise that she allowed and wanted you in her ass after that session and now it seems she’s a full go on that going forward with you?
Is her hope that anal now going forward will help solve this hormonal flux until she gets to the specialist MD in a few months or does she have plans to continue seeing the escort and more blindfolded sessions to fulfill that need?
I’m assuming some of this may have been discussed but it’s also likely an unfolding changing day by day thing here.

Not that it’s any of our business and you may not want to share and that’s totally ok. Did the escort cum in her, on her or other. I know that’s not the point just wondering if that was part of J condition that “need” to be filled as well?
Again no pressure to answer either way.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Keep us in the loop as this continues to unfold in the days and weeks ahead.

[decisions12]

What a pleasant surprise that she allowed and wanted you in her ass after that session and now it seems she’s a full go on that going forward with you?
Is her hope that anal now going forward will help solve this hormonal flux until she gets to the specialist MD in a few months or does she have plans to continue seeing the escort and more blindfolded sessions to fulfill that need?
I’m assuming some of this may have been discussed but it’s also likely an unfolding changing day by day thing here.

Not that it’s any of our business and you may not want to share and that’s totally ok. Did the escort cum in her, on her or other. I know that’s not the point just wondering if that was part of J condition that “need” to be filled as well?
Again no pressure to answer either way.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Keep us in the loop as this continues to unfold in the days and weeks ahead.

Sort of. It can't change the flux but if we're lucky we may have triggered a switch in the craving. J's CSBD craved vaginal orgasms- she thinks, after a few goes at it, that the growing body of evidence indicates it is now satisfied by anal orgasms and possibly beginning to crave them, but this is by no means certain, and if it is the case may only be temporary. Too early to say.

Fuck no. If this doesn't work she can suffer through til the medical exam. Being serious- we very very very much hope that this is a once-and-done. If it turns out not to be we'll deal with that when we get there. Right now we're both grateful for some inner peace.

Condom. Beyond that don't know, don't care. He ceased to matter the second his job was done.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

And we are both absolutely loving it.

And that’s the only part that really matters.

...J's CSBD craved vaginal orgasms- she thinks, after a few goes at it, that the growing body of evidence indicates it is now satisfied by anal orgasms and possibly beginning to crave them, but this is by no means certain, and if it is the case may only be temporary. Too early to say.

If not, maybe keep that Sybian machine in mind. If its about vaginal orgasms, many women claim that thing is golden.

------------------

Your foray in the world of consensual non-monogamy was rather unusual by OHW norms, but the outcome is similar to most of us nevertheless—a deeper sense of closeness and charged erotic life as a couple.

If we don’t see you again, warmest wishes to you and J in the future.

Carpe diem, D.!

[decisions12]

And we are both absolutely loving it.

And that’s the only part that really matters.

...J's CSBD craved vaginal orgasms- she thinks, after a few goes at it, that the growing body of evidence indicates it is now satisfied by anal orgasms and possibly beginning to crave them, but this is by no means certain, and if it is the case may only be temporary. Too early to say.

If not, maybe keep that Sybian machine in mind. If its about vaginal orgasms, many women claim that thing is golden.

------------------

Your foray in the world of consensual non-monogamy was rather unusual by OHW norms, but the outcome is similar to most of us nevertheless—a deeper sense of closeness and charged erotic life as a couple.

If we don’t see you again, warmest wishes to you and J in the future.

Carpe diem, D.!

Thank you. I hope I managed to make everything make sense in the end.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

Thank you. I hope I managed to make everything make sense in the end.

You did. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I hope our varied perspectives were useful to you.

[DaveOnEdge]

And we are both absolutely loving it.

And that’s the only part that really matters.

...J's CSBD craved vaginal orgasms- she thinks, after a few goes at it, that the growing body of evidence indicates it is now satisfied by anal orgasms and possibly beginning to crave them, but this is by no means certain, and if it is the case may only be temporary. Too early to say.

If not, maybe keep that Sybian machine in mind. If its about vaginal orgasms, many women claim that thing is golden.

------------------

Your foray in the world of consensual non-monogamy was rather unusual by OHW norms, but the outcome is similar to most of us nevertheless—a deeper sense of closeness and charged erotic life as a couple.

If we don’t see you again, warmest wishes to you and J in the future.

Carpe diem, D.!

Thank you. I hope I managed to make everything make sense in the end.

I can only speak for myself, and don't want to make any ASSumptions, BUTT I was delighted by the happy ENDing.

And many happy returns to you and J.

[decisions12]

I can only speak for myself, and don't want to make any ASSumptions, BUTT I was delighted by the happy ENDing.

And many happy returns to you and J.

That raised a smile. Cheers

[decisions12]

So a massive thankyou to everybody. Most of you have been welcoming, friendly and helpful, and having a place where I could unload and collect my thoughts for a few tricky days has been a blessing. I am truly grateful.

This forum is clearly not for me so I won't be sticking around permanently but if anyone is actually interested in knowing how things work out I am more than happy to pop in occasionally with updates.

You guys are awesome. Take good care of yourselves.

[decisions12]

Thank you. I hope I managed to make everything make sense in the end.

You did. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I hope our varied perspectives were useful to you.

Some more than others but I appreciate every single word. Thanks.

[Topnotch]

She's not stopping. She's openly cucking you and also training you to be a cuck. You need to reread all of this, after you look up the definition of what a cuckold is. I'm not even sure why you found this site. The only explanation is, you were looking for it. Good luck and absolutely let us know what is going on. This isn't slowing down, the train has left the station now

[decisions12]

She's not stopping. She's openly cucking you and also training you to be a cuck. You need to reread all of this, after you look up the definition of what a cuckold is. I'm not even sure why you found this site. The only explanation is, you were looking for it. Good luck and absolutely let us know what is going on. This isn't slowing down, the train has left the station now

In my short time here I have learned a few things. The one that stands out clearest is perfectly demonstrated in this post- a person's own kink/lifestyle mindset often seems to have a massive effect on how they view other people's lifestyles and relationships. There seems to be a huge reluctance- maybe even inability- in some people to accept or understand the reality of our situation.

In both forum posts and private messages I have been repeatedly lectured about my attitude to my wife and told that she is clearly trying "to cuck me and train me to be a cuck" or similar. If that's really the only thing someone can see from what you've been told, I suspect that's an issue caused by approaching something from one direction only. After everything that I've written, if you can't see that if she wanted to "cuck" me she could do it by simply telling me that's what she wants, then you really haven't understood a thing.

A handful of people accepted very quickly that J and I have no interest in your lifestyle and approached the situation from that direction. I'm sure you'll be amazed to hear that I valued their opinions and advice far more than that of those people who- and I'm not going to beat around the bush here- have insulted my wife when they can clearly see she has been going through a hard time. Anyone who thinks that is acceptable probably needs to take a long hard look in the mirror, especially those who accused me of subjugating my wife and more, and extra especially those who saw fit to lecture me on womens rights.

I don't need to re-read the thread, I know exactly what is going on. I didn't when I found this forum- which I stumbled into during an emotional moment where I was desperately looking for answers and somewhere to unload, and I visited multiple sites about multiple subjects. It could have been anywhere, it happened to be here. If anyone needs to re-read it's yourself, but from a different viewpoint.

And one final point- I trust my wife far more than I trust any single one of you.

You are entitled to hold whatever views or opinions you wish. But sometimes you might find it helpful to step out of your own head when assessing a situation that involves people you don't know. Everyone is very different, and I'm surprisingly disappointed that people with an "alternative lifestyle" don't fully understand that.

Thankyou for your post. I think I've been wanting to say all that for a couple of days and it's nice that you gave me the opportunity. Appreciate it.

[coastalkid]

And one final point- I trust my wife far more than I trust any single one of you.

You are entitled to hold whatever views or opinions you wish. But sometimes you might find it helpful to step out of your own head when assessing a situation that involves people you don't know. Everyone is very different, and I'm surprisingly disappointed that people with an "alternative lifestyle" don't fully understand that.

Thankyou for your post. I think I've been wanting to say all that for a couple of days and it's nice that you gave me the opportunity. Appreciate it.

Well said!

[elina]

Dear Decisions12

Thank you and thanks to your Wife for sharing this experience with us.
It is incredible interesting to be exposed to this and equally to see how you initially had an impression of what this was all about which was equally wrong as the impressions from those of us who followed you from the start and was, to the best of our ability trying to provide the advice we thought (and initially to a large extent you thought) you were seeking.

Lesson to all of us again; don't jumpt to conclusions.

I will not claim to understand all of this, I don't.
I am, and I am sure a lot of us are, extremely curious about how this will evolve.
Has your Wife managed to engineer a lasting change in both of you, or will the effect wane?

Please, I would really appreciate if you can please pop in here from time to time to educate us on how things are developing; good or bad.
Also, please hop in even if "nothing interesting has happened", you may know that but we will not until you have updated us.

Sincerely
elina

[coastalkid]

Yes! Decisions12 your situation is not typical here and definitely an intriguing scenario. It hovers around this lifestyle but it clearly isn't a kink or obsession. It still has the element of your wife having sex with another man and how you cope with that solution. That in and of itself could be extremely helpful for other men here.

I understand that you've discovered how far some people are caught up in their obsessions. Trying to understand that and not having any personal experience with or for that desire can be wearisome here at times. Just because they are into something doesn't mean everybody is, nor does it mean it's normal, it's just their perspective.

Your perspective is free and clear from the "kink". Your choices and reasoning are much more practical yet you will still experience a lot of the emotional/mental aspects of a (if I dare say this) a "traditional hot wife" scenario. I personally will be extremely interested in ANYTHING you share in regard to your experience.

Also Sincerely!
coastalkid

[decisions12]

Dear Decisions12

Thank you and thanks to your Wife for sharing this experience with us.
It is incredible interesting to be exposed to this and equally to see how you initially had an impression of what this was all about which was equally wrong as the impressions from those of us who followed you from the start and was, to the best of our ability trying to provide the advice we thought (and initially to a large extent you thought) you were seeking.

Lesson to all of us again; don't jumpt to conclusions.

I will not claim to understand all of this, I don't.
I am, and I am sure a lot of us are, extremely curious about how this will evolve.
Has your Wife managed to engineer a lasting change in both of you, or will the effect wane?

Please, I would really appreciate if you can please pop in here from time to time to educate us on how things are developing; good or bad.
Also, please hop in even if "nothing interesting has happened", you may know that but we will not until you have updated us.

Sincerely
elina

You have been consistent in your attempts to offer advice and assistance from the start, and I am grateful to you for trying to understand the changes as they took place. It's been so rapid and so complicated that anybody who has managed to keep adjusting, understanding and continuing to try to find ways to help has my admiration and gratitude.

I should never have ended up here, but it seems it was the place I needed to be. Funny how that works.

[decisions12]

Yes! Decisions12 your situation is not typical here and definitely an intriguing scenario. It hovers around this lifestyle but it clearly isn't a kink or obsession. It still has the element of your wife having sex with another man and how you cope with that solution. That in and of itself could be extremely helpful for other men here.

I understand that you've discovered how far some people are caught up in their obsessions. Trying to understand that and not having any personal experience with or for that desire can be wearisome here at times. Just because they are into something doesn't mean everybody is, nor does it mean it's normal, it's just their perspective.

Your perspective is free and clear from the "kink". Your choices and reasoning are much more practical yet you will still experience a lot of the emotional/mental aspects of a (if I dare say this) a "traditional hot wife" scenario. I personally will be extremely interested in ANYTHING you share in regard to your experience.

Also Sincerely!
coastalkid

Thank you. You have shown me a lot of kindness over the past few days- please know that I appreciate that.

[decisions12]

I have received a surprising number of messages all saying similar things, and this seems to be of interest to more people than I originally thought.

And considering that I have grown accustomed to dropping a few posts here it seems right to continue to do so, and considering the number of people who have asked, I think I'm going to keep updating as we go- I figure if people aren't interested they just won't read. J says that at some point I am going to have to leave the forum because otherwise my brain might struggle with the memory rebuilding process, but that point is not quite yet.

So here's an update:

We're 3 days on. We have continued to keep the cravings under control. This morning, about 11ish, J went distant. At one point we made eye contact and she saw my unspoken question and she gave me the flappy-hand wave-off that she translates as "I need to continue this train of thought, please leave me to it, I will explain later" and I translate as "there's a reason I'm talking to myself and not you, I'll dumb it down for you when I'm done."

She very quickly moved to the study (I jokingly asked if there was too much stupid in my vicinity that was clouding her thoughts- she rolled her eyes in a way that clearly said "obviously but I'm used to living with that)" and I didn't see her for hours. When she finally appeared it was "bedroom before talk". And then it was "I will tell you but I need to have a think first."

So having had a bit of a think, it was "dinner next" and over dinner J finally said more than half a sentence.

J thinks we (yes I'm taking partial credit even though it's entirely undeserved) may have made a scientific breakthrough. It's not her field, so she isn't certain, but she thinks that she might actually have managed to rewire part of her brain in a way that has never been done before. (aside- I would wager no one's even thought of trying it before!) She has sent a few emails and is planning on making some calls tomorrow. She complained about people not being available on Sundays, which means she's really excited about whatever the fuck is actually going on in that supercomputer of a brain and needs to talk it through with someone who isn't a neanderthal with a haircut.

I got this next part on my own, J told me I was a clever boy and gave me a gold star sticker: even if the effects aren't permanent, if this is indeed a new thing, then the experts are going to want to be involved as early as possible, which means that the specialist she is waiting on is going to want to talk to her asap. I guess we find out soon.

Things just seem to keep accelerating and I'm not sure I've got the processing speed to keep up with this in any capacity. It's been one hell of a week.