new here and could use some advice/opinions

[elina]

Thanks Decisions12

Yes, I can fully understand that this must have been "one hell of a week".
I hope you and your Wife will soon settle down in a stabilizing world...

I am grateful for your decision to continue updating, for a while at least.

Sincerely
elina

[Greg_N_Shelley]

…J thinks we (yes I'm taking partial credit even though it's entirely undeserved) may have made a scientific breakthrough. It's not her field, so she isn't certain, but she thinks that she might actually have managed to rewire part of her brain in a way that has never been done before. (aside- I would wager no one's even thought of trying it before!) …

…I got this next part on my own, J told me I was a clever boy and gave me a gold star sticker: even if the effects aren't permanent, if this is indeed a new thing, then the experts are going to want to be involved as early as possible, which means that the specialist she is waiting on is going to want to talk to her asap. I guess we find out soon.

Things just seem to keep accelerating and I'm not sure I've got the processing speed to keep up with this in any capacity. It's been one hell of a week.

I’m curious what she means by “re-wire part of her brain”? I know some tryptamine compounds have a unique ability to radically rewire neural connections (hence, their emerging promise in treatment of addiction and PTSD). But I’ve never heard of any behavioral therapies (such as Friday’s experiment) resulting in radical neurological or psychological changes to compulsive behavior or addiction with a single session. Even deep hypnosis and ‘forceful hybrid drug-conditioning interventions’ seem to require sustained repetition to achieve therapeutic benefit.

Does she have a hypothesis about how Friday’s experiment could “re-wire her brain”? I’m genuinely curious. [Greg puts his lab coat back on and retrieves a pen from the pocket protector.]

That all said, I’m glad the cravings have been alleviated and you both sound at peace right now. I hope she’s right, and the situation has stabilized for the long term.

What’s most curious to me at the moment is how you’re doing with all this. Most guys, even with the kink, go through a lot of difficult emotions after the first time their girl fucks another man with their consent.

I’m frankly amazed by how you’ve handled this so far. I gather you’re either exceptionally balanced or understated in a near stoic way. (Or maybe you’re like me and one of the rare oddballs who never got programmed with the sexual jealousy circuitry. Lol.)

But if the honest answer is “Not great, actually”, that’s quite normal and nobody here would judge it.

[decisions12]

…J thinks we (yes I'm taking partial credit even though it's entirely undeserved) may have made a scientific breakthrough. It's not her field, so she isn't certain, but she thinks that she might actually have managed to rewire part of her brain in a way that has never been done before. (aside- I would wager no one's even thought of trying it before!) …

…I got this next part on my own, J told me I was a clever boy and gave me a gold star sticker: even if the effects aren't permanent, if this is indeed a new thing, then the experts are going to want to be involved as early as possible, which means that the specialist she is waiting on is going to want to talk to her asap. I guess we find out soon.

Things just seem to keep accelerating and I'm not sure I've got the processing speed to keep up with this in any capacity. It's been one hell of a week.

I’m curious what she means by “re-wire part of her brain”? I know some tryptamine compounds have a unique ability to radically rewire neural connections (hence, their emerging promise in treatment of addiction and PTSD). But I’ve never heard of any behavioral therapies (such as Friday’s experiment) resulting in radical neurological or psychological changes to compulsive behavior or addiction with a single session. Even deep hypnosis and ‘forceful hybrid drug-conditioning interventions’ seem to require sustained repetition to achieve therapeutic benefit.

Does she have a hypothesis about how Friday’s experiment could “re-wire her brain”? I’m genuinely curious. [Greg puts his lab coat back on and retrieves a pen from the pocket protector.]

That all said, I’m glad the cravings have been alleviated and you both sound at peace right now. I hope she’s right, and the situation has stabilized for the long term.

What’s most curious to me at the moment is how you’re doing with all this. Most guys, even with the kink, go through a lot of difficult emotions after the first time their girl fucks another man with their consent.

I’m frankly amazed by how you’ve handled this so far. I gather you’re either exceptionally balanced or understated in a near stoic way. (Or maybe you’re like me and one of the rare oddballs who never got programmed with the sexual jealousy circuitry. Lol.)

But if the honest answer is “Not great, actually”, that’s quite normal and nobody here would judge it.

I honestly don't know at this point. I have no understanding of the science, I'm just a shaved chimp. All I really know is that J seems to think there's something there and she knows a hell of a lot more than I do. I have to confess that I am dubious but...

the cravings are being kept under control and seem to have changed focus which is, as far as J has so far been able to determine, a change that no-one has managed to effect before, even in the most temporary way. Your words do make me wonder whether the "single session" is actually multiple sessions of reinforcement after the initial "implant" session- I'm now questioning whether Js cravings really are bad enough to need quashing multiple times a day... But again, I really don't know.

I have been encouraged by the messages of a couple of people who are professionally interested in the outcome, but they also have big questions. I think quite a few folk are interested in how this turns out. It is a bit unusual!

As for how I'm handling it- it's easy, I love J far more than I love myself. Sexual jealousy? Yes I had that but there's a far bigger picture than my hurt feelings; and the aftermath...I've dealt with it by simply just loving J. I have found over the years that most things are easier to handle if you just let love do its thing. Some people spend a lot of time attached to their emotions and yet often ignore what the most powerful one of all can do. I try not to be one of those people.

The short-term memory tricks are holding. And if you'll forgive the crudity, I'm now banging the wife up the butt two or three times a day and making her come over and over again. Either of those things was an impossible dream a short while ago. I can't deny that's been a factor- I'm sure you can guess where my mind is a lot of the time...

But mostly it's love. I think you will understand.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

As for how I'm handling it- it's easy, I love J far more than I love myself. Sexual jealousy? Yes I had that but there's a far bigger picture than my hurt feelings; and the aftermath...I've dealt with it by simply just loving J. I have found over the years that most things are easier to handle if you just let love do its thing. Some people spend a lot of time attached to their emotions and yet often ignore what the most powerful one of all can do. I try not to be one of those people.

This brings me the biggest smile!

“I have found over the years that most things are easier to handle if you just let love do its thing.” – Very much agreed, D.. That’s pure wisdom, and in my opinion, the greatest key to peace and fulfillment in life.

…But mostly it's love. I think you will understand.

I certainly do!

Thank you for the update, D.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

The short-term memory tricks are holding. And if you'll forgive the crudity, I'm now banging the wife up the butt two or three times a day and making her come over and over again. Either of those things was an impossible dream a short while ago. I can't deny that's been a factor- I'm sure you can guess where my mind is a lot of the time...

I'm envisioning the PubMed citation now....

---------------

Novel Single-Session Behavioral Intervention for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder: A Case Report of Sustained Remission via Posterior Substitution Therapy

J Marital Behav Neurosci. 2026 Aug;14(3):412–418.

Background: Current literature on CSBD offers limited support for single-session interventions, with existing protocols requiring sustained repetition to achieve durable neuroplastic change. The authors report an unprecedented case of apparent symptom remission following a novel hybrid protocol combining audio-mediated partner substitution, sensory occlusion, and high-frequency posterior maintenance dosing with generous amounts of lube.

---------

[decisions12]

I'm envisioning the PubMed citation now....

---------------

Novel Single-Session Behavioral Intervention for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder: A Case Report of Sustained Remission via Posterior Substitution Therapy

J Marital Behav Neurosci. 2026 Aug;14(3):412–418.

Background: Current literature on CSBD offers limited support for single-session interventions, with existing protocols requiring sustained repetition to achieve durable neuroplastic change. The authors report an unprecedented case of apparent symptom remission following a novel hybrid protocol combining audio-mediated partner substitution, sensory occlusion, and high-frequency posterior maintenance dosing with generous amounts of lube.

---------


[/quote]


Mate, that made me laugh so hard. I spent a while yesterday wondering how the hell anyone could write a paper on this considering the subject matter- I think you just answered that!

[/quote]
"I’m curious what she means by “re-wire part of her brain”? I know some tryptamine compounds have a unique ability to radically rewire neural connections (hence, their emerging promise in treatment of addiction and PTSD). But I’ve never heard of any behavioral therapies (such as Friday’s experiment) resulting in radical neurological or psychological changes to compulsive behavior or addiction with a single session. Even deep hypnosis and ‘forceful hybrid drug-conditioning interventions’ seem to require sustained repetition to achieve therapeutic benefit.


Does she have a hypothesis about how Friday’s experiment could “re-wire her brain”? I’m genuinely curious. [Greg puts his lab coat back on and retrieves a pen from the pocket protector.]
[/quote]

Anyway the reason I came back is this bit. J says you're on the right lines and she sees something that may indicate there is potentially a factor that could change the way we can look at that which involves an element of self-hypnosis. She seems to think from what you've said that that will make some kind of sense to you.

[decisions12]

---------------

Novel Single-Session Behavioral Intervention for Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder: A Case Report of Sustained Remission via Posterior Substitution Therapy

J Marital Behav Neurosci. 2026 Aug;14(3):412–418.

Background: Current literature on CSBD offers limited support for single-session interventions, with existing protocols requiring sustained repetition to achieve durable neuroplastic change. The authors report an unprecedented case of apparent symptom remission following a novel hybrid protocol combining audio-mediated partner substitution, sensory occlusion, and high-frequency posterior maintenance dosing with generous amounts of lube.

---------

J was immensely amused by this. She's particularly taken with the term "posterior substitution therapy" but she gave the whole thing a small round of delighted applause.

[DaveOnEdge]

The short-term memory tricks are holding. And if you'll forgive the crudity, I'm now banging the wife up the butt two or three times a day and making her come over and over again. Either of those things was an impossible dream a short while ago. I can't deny that's been a factor- I'm sure you can guess where my mind is a lot of the time...

But mostly it's love. I think you will understand.

My takeaways:
Lots and lots and lots of ass fucking.
Oh, and love. Mostly love.

But about that ass fucking...

[decisions12]

My takeaways:
Lots and lots and lots of ass fucking.
Oh, and love. Mostly love.

But about that ass fucking...

This would be a beautiful haiku except you messed up the structure.

But I think...think... that I might have understood what the poet was trying to capture nonetheless.

[decisions12]

I will be walking away from this site tomorrow. If anyone has anything they want to ask or say, your window is about 24-28 hours from now.

J has not been encouraged by the answers she has been receiving over the last couple of days.

I think we have now reached a point where this is no longer about my experiences and emotions concerning this forum's main subject, and now I need to concentrate on J.

I will answer any questions either here or in pms, and then leave one final post before I disappear.

Cheers,
D

[Restarting]

Just a thought.

What if it's not CSBD at all? What if J's experiences and true emotions DO concern this forum's main subject?

Your theory strikes me as a bit convenient, maybe a way to shield yourself emotionally from the possibility that your wife is actually different than you think?

Maybe you're right. Maybe you've discovered something the entire medical science community has failed to recognize. Hopefully, your track isn't just manipulative brainwashing intended to change J from who she truly is.

Whatever the truth is, I'm confident that you are proceeding in the best way you know how.

If whatever reasons your wife has made her choices can't be reprogrammed, will you be able to live with it?

Although it might not be obvious, your outcome is of interest to many of us, regardless of the root cause of the situation. Kink isn't the only thing that stimulates our intellectual curiosity (for some of us, at least). Thank you for sharing your story.

Hoping the best for both of you.

[decisions12]

Maybe you're right. Maybe you've discovered something the entire medical science community has failed to recognize. Hopefully, your track isn't just manipulative brainwashing intended to change J from who she truly is.

Whatever the truth is, I'm confident that you are proceeding in the best way you know how.

Hoping the best for both of you.

I have dropped you a pm. Please read that before you read this.


J has been extremely discouraged by the conversations she has had today.

J's well-being is my highest priority and I am certainly not trying to brainwash her.

I am doing the very best I can.

Thank you. I appreciate the concern you have shown towards J since the beginning.

[elina]

Dear decisions12

I don't know what the nature of the conversations that J had today were, and what was so discouraging to Her.

Regardless, I agree with you that your highest priority should be to look after Her and try to help Her. The two of you obviously have a strong love for each other and I think maybe I would suggest that you should do whatever is best for Her regardless of what that is. I was trained as a scientist as you Wife is, to me the takeaway is that the hypothesis you were trying to prove may not always be right, and when there is a sufficient basis to reject it then trying to hang on to it will not benefit anyone. I am not sure if that is what happening for your Wife now, but if it is, the work with Her to find the next best approach that can resolve Her issues.

Sincerely
elina

[decisions12]

I don't know what the nature of the conversations that J had today were, and what was so discouraging to Her.

Mostly people giving her answers that were opposite to the ones she was hoping for.

I'll answer more fully in a pm.

I appreciate your concern for J, thank you.

[Late]

Dear Decisions12
Your encounter with this weird community has been enlightening for at least some of us. I just found your thread today and read the whole thing. I am pretty sure I would have not been able to contribute anything meaningful to help you, but it appears to me that several of the members ended up being helpful. I always knew this was a diverse group, you have just added a little bit more diversity than I was expecting. I generally have found all of those who contribute bring value to the discussion. Some by just showing how smart others are by comparison.

I promise you I don't have a clue about medical breakthroughs; but history tells us that almost every breakthrough is through a wall of "experts" saying it can't be done. A case in point, the world is truly NOT FLAT. Just sayin'.

Who knows, maybe some day they will look back on this and say this is when J found the fix for this weird fixation all (or most) on here seem to have.

Good Luck. Safe Travels.

Late

[decisions12]

I generally have found all of those who contribute bring value to the discussion. Some by just showing how smart others are by comparison.

I promise you I don't have a clue about medical breakthroughs; but history tells us that almost every breakthrough is through a wall of "experts" saying it can't be done. A case in point, the world is truly NOT FLAT. Just sayin'.

Good Luck. Safe Travels.

Late

That is a fantastic line and I will be using it, probably often, in the future. I make no apologies for this upcoming word-heist.

J has conceded that her hoped-for overnight breakthrough in a field that is not her own is extremely unlikely.

Thank you.

[Late]

You just never know where or when you are gonna find those little nuggets. You're welcome to it; no apologies needed. I have acquired several great lines from others in the time I have been hanging around this community. Just glad I could return the favor.

Late

[coastalkid]

Sorry, I've been on the road. Thanks for sharing all that you have. There's always something for me to learn here! Your story has been a welcome one for me even though you have had your struggle/adjustment with it. I know your situation is far from concluded even if your time here is. Thanks again for sharing and I wish you and your wife the best, sincerely!

[decisions12]

I'm a little later than intended but here's my final update:

Most of what has been discussed has been about my side of the experience, but there are two people involved here and only one of them is the most important thing in my world. My priority is and always will be J's well-being.

J is struggling a bit. I'm not going to go into details but she was hoping that finding a "miracle solution" would resolve all the issues. Sadly it has quickly become clear that that solution will not be forthcoming. However even if it is not the breakthrough she had hoped for, whatever witchcraft she has managed to perform is still working for us and as someone who has spent a lot of time at a lot of functions knowing for sure I was the dumbest person in the room,* you can believe me when I say that I could not give a damn about the science - if it's working for us that's all I care about.

We will both be going for counselling as soon as possible. It's going to be interesting explaining all this to the counsellor!

We are hoping to hear about an appointment with the specialist within the next couple of months and that whatever treatment he proscribes then will work but in the meantime we both hope that between our current ability to ward off the cravings and some counselling we'll manage until then.

...

Aside- of all the conversations I have had with J's colleagues, my favourite is the one where an only-very-slightly inebriated gentleman was partway through explaining... I had no fucking clue then, I have no fucking clue now... when he turned to a potted rubber-plant saying "maybe you'll understand me better" before continuing his explanation. To the plant.

This has no bearing on anything whatsoever, I just love telling that story.

,,,

I appreciate having had somewhere to work this through and I have cleared up as much as I can but hopefully you will never know how this goes from here. If things go well you will probably never hear from us again; if you do ever find yourself wondering, firstly thankyou and secondly you can assume we're doing ok.

And finally: thank you all for the generosity of your time and thoughts.
To those of you who have offered your professional advice...I am more grateful than I can ever express.

Wish us luck!

D.

[elina]

Good luck!!
I wish you all the best.

Sincerely
elina