Dare I Disturb the Universe

[HopefullyOneDay]

Bloomincpl,

I am sorry I didnt see your post sooner. A lot of good information and I really appreciate it.

[HopefullyOneDay]

It has been almost two months since I last posted because I thought the day by day little stuff was not interesting and there didnt seem to be much interest in the post.

Things have picked up. I changed her roleplay so she is now happily roleplaying a "good wife" who has a friend (soon to be more) who she occasionally has long passionate sex with. She resisted and was nervous and then dove in and complains if we dont do it every day.

It has definitely bled over into real life. She is more affectionate both romantically and sexually. She is initiating sex every night and sometimes during the day. (oral since she cant take birth control and is begging foe her periods to stop) She is dieting and exercising to lose weight (more to tone up actually) She has bought a new wardrobe, still conservative but slightly less so and she wants to feel beautiful. She told me she needed more skirts so I could get at her pussy whenever I want. In the past 2 months she has reached and surpassed gold member status at Victoria's Secret and had now bought over $1,000 in the sluttiest lingerie she can find and has anither $500 worth on her wishlist. Crotchless panties are now an every day apparel item. After years of refusing to even consider sex toys, she has fallen in love with her dildo. She went out and bought a remote long distance gspot vibrator and a remote clit vibrator that drives her wild.

So, the sexual roleplay is really turning her on. She says the excitement is like when we first met and she is riding the high and doesnt want to let it go. If this is how it stays, I would be very happy.

I am definitely enjoying myself. She sucks my dick every night and tells me how bad she wants to feel my dick in jer pussy. She has named her dildo "My boyfriend". When she gets really wet, she gets on her hands and knees and sucks my dick and moans "I want my boyfriend to fuck me so bad" and I get her off with the dildo. She comes to bed every night in sexy lingerie and after sex sleeps naked and cuddled in, sometimes talking for hours about the roleplay before sleeping. There are several nights a week where we are up until 3 or 4 AM. Some nights she comes to bed and sets her bag of sex toys on my nightstand and says "Do whatever you want with me".

Every night when she comes to bed in lingerie she poses for photos. For 25 years she has adamantly refused. At first she said no face, and now she smiles and poses. She sends me topless or naked selfies when I am at work and this weekend told me she was going to take a shower if I wanted to "document it". Every now and then she asks me what I am doing with the photos. I tell her I delete them.( I do). She doesnt quite believe me and part of her thinks I might share them online. Yet she still lets me take them.

She is really hot about the fantasy but doesnt want to talk about it I general. I ask her what about it makes her hot and she will say it is spending time with me or she won't answer or she will say "all of it". She gets moody and tells me to just enjoy it, because she is, and not try to psychoanalyze it or over analyze it.

She insists that it is not her fantasy ablnd that she only enjoys it as roleplay. and she has to roleplay as another person that she cant roleplay that it is actually her and that she knows the "other guys" are really me and that she is safe and she goes on and on to separate herself from what is turning her on.

One time she did text me, because she couldn't bring herself to say the words, that in a perfect world with no consequences she would love to have a friend she could explore and indulge every carnal desire with. But later backed down. If she shows any interest, she is always quick to immediately follow up by saying she would never do it in real life.

She says she admires her character and the freedom and passion she has and her relationship with her husband and her fuck buddy. Then later she said that any man who would someone else touch his wife must not really love her and that it is a man's job to protect his wife She now denies saying this.

I have told her that if she ever wants to try, that I love her and support her. This shocked her and at first she didnt believe me. Even as we work our way through this, she insists that even of I said it was OK that I would be hurt and she doesnt want to hurt me.

She talks about baggage from 25 years ago when we met and she was fucking me on the side and how thrilling it was to have both her husband and me but how terrible the fallout was (she does not regret leaving him for me, just how brutal leaving was). She also worries that it would ruin our marriage.

So, she says she would never do it. At the same time randomly in bed, during or after sex, or out of bed at random times, she asks me questions about how it would work, or tells me what she would want or her guidelines. I asked her one time if she would make them use condoms and she was adamant that she wanted a regular man that would fuck her raw and cum I her. She said she would have to wait a year or two until her period stopped but that is what she wanted. I told her if she found a guy who had a vasectomy she could do it right now and she literally came. She tells me she wouldnt tolerate anyone who degraded her or me (neither would I. I am not interested in being a cuck. Nothing against anyone who enjoys it. It just isnt my kink).

She has the age range picked out. The hair and body type. The personality, etc. etc. She told me last week that if she found the right guy her could do whatever he wanted to her(she quickly said except her ass or pain). A few days ago she asked if she could by separate lingerie to where with "him". She occasionally asks me what rules I want. She said she would need to get to know a guy. She says she would need to care for him but absolutely insists she would not want to fall in love or for him to fall in love with her. She would want him to have a dick that is shorter and thinner than mine.

She insists she would never do it but is getting horny thinking about it and discussing her wishlist and working through the logistics. She mentioned the other day that I seemed to be more turned on by it than she was and asked why her fucking other men turned me on. I didnt answer the first few times she asked but this time she asked again and I could tell she wasnt going to let it go. I finally told her that the thought of her being free to pursue her desires and enjoy herself and be happy turns me on and that I want to give her that gift that I wanted our marriage to be one that is loving and supportive and gives her freedom She kissed me and hugged me and 5 minutes later assured me she would never do it

Yesterday I mentioned that she could always try cyberspace with a guy or two as a first step and that I would even help her find a guy. Her eyes got big and she asked if I would really help her find a guy and then she kissed me and thanked me and daid she could consider that. By that evening she talked about considering it and how to make sure it didn't take away from us but then quickly added that she would never do it.

She has commented on how surprised she is that I used to get jealous if she even talked to another guy and how we have been so much closer these past few months and dont argue and are having better and more sex.

Sometimes she says it would have to be just the right guy, she would have to feel comfortable. Even then within minutes she says "you know I will never do it". Besides her own "baggage and issues" as she calls it, she has concerns about ruining our marriage, religious issues, how to find a guy, having to interact with a new person (she is very shy as a rule), and all of the drama and issues that would naturally arrive.

When I ask her if even the thought excites her she says she doesnt know. She says she would have to do it to know. She says, what if the chemistry isnt right? what if he has bad breath? What if he isnt good in bed? I tell her I know she cant know if she would enjoy a specific situation, and I again ask about just the thought and she doesnt answer. If I ask again, she says I should stop analyzing and just enjoy.

She doesnt feel comfortable voicing things like this. It is a real hurdle.

The last we talked about it she said that she has only been naughty once in her life and that was when she met me. (Through careful trial and error we have settled on "naughty". She recoils at slut or slutty or bad even to describe her roleplay characters. She likes naughty). She says if there is any naughty in her it is a very small part. She said she didnt think she could roleplay her character being nonmonogamus. She said she is really surprised how much she loves it but is still getting used to it. She kissed me and asked me to let her catch up and get used to it.

So, part of me wonders if this great spot we are at is where we will stay or if she will get curious, overcome her doubts, and months(?) or years(?) from now take the plunge. Another part of me, when she is talking logistics, asks what the hell am I doing!

[Bloomincpl]

there didnt seem to be much interest in the post.

Umm, wrong! We're very interested Look it up. This thread has had nearly 10,000 views!!!

any man who would someone else touch his wife must not really love her

The opposite is actually true. A man doesn't prove he loves his wife by letting another man touch her, but it is a deep act of love. I've heard it described as making love to your wife by way of another man having sex with her. It takes a very strong love to support a wife in such a desire, and to wholly embrace the woman she wants to be in having sex with other men, to embrace the sexual woman she is. An extreme opposite of this is a man who controls his wife, who dictates to her. The act of having sex with other men isn't justified by such a polar opposite, but it does help to highlight how disparate it is from such a controlling man.

25 years ago when we met and she was fucking me on the side and how thrilling it was to have both her husband and me but how terrible the fallout was

So some of her reaction to this is likely driven by fear. She was there before, and feels she's risking it happening again.

She said she would need to get to know a guy. She says she would need to care for him but absolutely insists she would not want to fall in love or for him to fall in love with her. She would want him to have a dick that is shorter and thinner than mine.

The criteria she is establishing are going to become too tight to meet. She wants to care about the guy, but not love him. If she's going to care about him, she needs to spend time around him. If she's going to have sex with him just once, ok maybe love doesn't develop. But, does she really want to spend time cultivating a caring feeling for him only to have sex with him once and then discard him? If not, the more times she has sex with him, the more likely it is for feelings to develop. Can it be kept in check, and not really develop into full blown romantic love? Yes, but it's a delicate balance. The bit about wanting his dick to be smaller..., combining that with her not wanting to love him, sounds very much like she wants to try really, really hard to not replace you. This isn't about replacement. It's about addition.

...why her fucking other men turned me on

I used to ask myself that question a lot. I gave up trying to answer it. I don't have an answer for it. But, the more my wife loves a man fucking her, the more aroused I become. I just accept it now, blissfully!

...and how to make sure it didn't take away from us

Yep, she's afraid. That doesn't mean she's in error. There's potential reason to be afraid. I suspect small, little steps forward with this will smooth the waters. She senses a 10,000 foot cliff that she doesn't want to step over.

This isn't about taking away; it's about adding.

...on how surprised she is that I used to get jealous if she even talked to another guy

I mentioned about this before, about not expressing jealousy. Seems you've embraced that, and she's becoming more willing to divulge her deepest thoughts and feelings. Great progress!

...she has concerns about ruining our marriage, religious issues, how to find a guy, having to interact with a new person (she is very shy as a rule), and all of the drama and issues that would naturally arrive.

Being concerned about your marriage is absolutely valid. My wife and I considered this long and hard before doing anything. We finally concluded that we would try, and if either of us sensed anything wrong we'd pull the plug at least temporarily and discuss. We had a lot of rules at first, but the biggest rule we have (and still have; the others are long gone) is what we call the golden parachute. If either of us feels the need to end something, even in the midst of having sex with someone, then it ends immediately. We politely leave, and discuss it later with just the two of us. We've never invoked the parachute; neither of us ever felt the need. But knowing it's there has been useful, and made it comfortable especially early on.

Religious issues can be difficult to consider. There are many different views to this, but no 'right' answers. If you're meaning Christian religious issues; the Bible has a number of people who have multiple women. Why should it be wrong for a woman to have multiple men? Much of the basis of that is for a woman to not be spoiled, to be known to be carrying her husband's child, to be 'pure'. I could go one for a while about this, having read a fair bit about it. A bit of an interesting aside to this; did you know the Roman Catholic church owned a brothel for a while?

How to find a guy; it's not much different than dating. There's some different criteria, but her standards for finding you aren't going to be much different than finding this gentleman. There may be some duds too, just like in regular dating. My wife had a couple of semi-duds to start off, but it got better. There are good websites for this lifestyle, and techniques for how to find a guy on such websites. Part of this too is finding a guy who understands his role. As you note, someone who degrades you isn't going to work. Finding a guy who respects both of you, and understands their role is important.

Being shy isn't a hindrance at all, especially if you are involved. Helping her find a guy will definitely make that a none issue. Going together some day to interview a guy will make it easier for her.

Drama and issues don't have to be a part of this at all. My wife has had many lovers and two long term boyfriends. There's never been any drama or issues.

what if the chemistry isnt right? what if he has bad breath? What if he isnt good in bed?

Excellent concerns, but again it's very much like regular dating. If he's not a good fit, move on. If you find someone who is a good fit, I advocate for keeping them around. I mean, if they're that good, why dump them and find more duds again before a good one? Yes, there's concerns about love developing, but it doesn't have to be the threat she thinks it is.

She doesnt feel comfortable voicing things like this.

She's making great strides already!!! Time will work its way through this I think.

She recoils at slut or slutty

Very understandable. Being able to embrace her sexuality, to self-actualize her desires isn't wrong. If the two of you find a gentleman who treats both of you well, and is really good for her, it doesn't make her a slut. A slut, to me, is someone who is indiscriminate in who they have sex with; just about any guy will do in a pinch. She's being more selective and discerning. From what you've described, she is far removed from being a slut. Even if she's bedding another man with your consent, she won't be a slut.

...and asked me to let her catch up and get used to it

Indeed! Keep moving at her pace. She's on the train now, and it's moving down the tracks!!

Another part of me, when she is talking logistics, asks what the hell am I doing!

You are helping your wife become the person she is discovering within herself. This may very well become her relishing another man inside her, cumming inside her, her cumming while he's inside her, while you hold her. It may be that you're already at the pinnacle of it, the discovery of her inner sexual desires lighting the fire you are enjoying now.

This can be nervous for you, to be sure. I wasn't 100% positive I wanted my wife to have sex with another man, but I knew that I'd gotten to a point where I wouldn't know until I'd seen it, and knew enough about how much it aroused me that I wanted to try. This is a together journey. You both have questions and nerves. That's natural.

I can tell you this; if you keep those lines of communication open, if you keep mentally working through all of it at her pace, if you keep walking in this together, you will likely eventually find yourselves doing this. I can tell you with fair certainty that it is absolutely worth it. It is so incredibly enjoyable, loving, and fulfilling to be able to share your wife with another man and see how amazing it is for both of you. Our society demonizes this; you're not supposed to enjoy something like this! You must be sick! But, it's not sick at all. It's an incredible, incredible experience filled with love and passion for each other.

[HopefullyOneDay]

@bloomincpl thank you for all the feedback. I really appreciate it.

She has finally admitted that "sometimes depending on her mood" the thought af letting another man fuck her gets her really excited. She, of course, follows it up with all the reasons she could never do it. Her number 1 primary reason is that she cannot see having sex with someone just for the sake of having fun. She says she cant imagine a random hook up, fuck buddy, or friend with benefits. She would want a boyfriend and says that is way to dangerous.

I still take it as a positive sign that she is bringing the subject up on her own now and openly honestly admitting it makes her horny.

In roleplay, her character has expanded to sex with a 3rd guy. She swore she would never roleplay that her character was with more than 2 men. It took very little prodding to introduce anither dick to the scenario and she said she was surprised how easy it felt to take the next step.

She also said that she had never even considered sleeping with other men (I believe her 100%) but that when we started roleplaying it sparked something new in her that is driving her wild.

We are still a long way off, but I think we are making progress.

[Bloomincpl]

@bloomincpl thank you for all the feedback. I really appreciate it.

You're quite welcome! I enjoy providing a viewpoint from the other side of the bridge, so to speak It took a fair bit of time for my wife and I to cross over the chasm on that bridge, but we've never regretted doing it. A lot of people helped us along the way. We're repaying it!

She has finally admitted that "sometimes depending on her mood" the thought af letting another man fuck her gets her really excited. She, of course, follows it up with all the reasons she could never do it. Her number 1 primary reason is that she cannot see having sex with someone just for the sake of having fun. She says she cant imagine a random hook up, fuck buddy, or friend with benefits. She would want a boyfriend and says that is way to dangerous.

I understand her fear. Really, I do! It's legitimate, and does have potential dangers. But, it doesn't have to be dangerous. Each person is different of course. For my wife and I, this was adding onto our incredible marriage, not replacing anything. It was and remains a shared journey.

As mentioned before, my wife had two long term boyfriends. She loved both of them, and the sex became more lovemaking than anything. Did it do anything to detract from our marriage? Absolutely not, in fact very much the opposite. Our marriage was very much enhanced by these experiences. Her loving her lovers was enjoyed by both of us. Our communication remained very close and deep, which enabled all of this. I can't emphasize enough that this was a shared experience. Whether we were in an MFM with her boyfriend or (as was much more often the case) she was off to his place to spend an evening with him, it was a shared experience.

Consider the opposite; if my wife found, met up with, had sex with, developed a relationship with, fell in love with another man with my permission, but otherwise left me out of it? If I never met him, never played with them in an MFM, never heard about her time with him, ...if I didn't even know his name? It's not a shared experience. I would very much feel left out, almost punished by it. My wife would feel disconnected from me, and feel in love with her boyfriend but disconnected from me. THAT is dangerous...exceedingly so.

I still take it as a positive sign that she is bringing the subject up on her own now and openly honestly admitting it makes her horny.

It's a very good sign! She's actively thinking about it. Brick by brick the walls to this are coming down. You aren't of course, but don't play games to bring them down. Let her remove them.

She also said that she had never even considered sleeping with other men (I believe her 100%) but that when we started roleplaying it sparked something new in her that is driving her wild.

This more than anything is driving this train down the tracks. Her intense interest in doing this is going to actualize. Be there for the journey, don't get jealous, and allow her to express herself fully to you, even if it feels uncomfortable. She needs a warm, safe place within your relationship to make this work. Your wife is actualizing the sexual creature within herself, embracing an enhanced version of herself. She's not a slut for doing this. She's growing!

If you start acting on this in person, you may find yourself getting jealous. Don't. It's an irrational bastard of an emotion, and almost entirely useless. Your wife is with you, loves you, and is coming home with you. If she responds to another man, support her. Let it grow. Don't hold her back. Keep the lines of communication open, but don't ever express jealousy. As you enjoy this together, you will find yourself being incredibly turned on by her responding to another man. Allow that to be your reaction, and not any sense of jealousy.

Oh, by the way? This thread is up over 10,000 views now

[HopefullyOneDay]

There has been some back and forth and although we continue the roleplay she was adamant that she doesnt fantasize about it it real life and she began pushing back hard. I backed off and let her work through it and she insisted the roleplay continue.

I was out of town for a week and we texted constantly. After my first night away, she shyly told me the next morning that she was so horny from the roleplaying that she had to try one of her new toys and made herself cum. Every morning for the next 3 days I received a message that she couldn't sleep without "her boyfriend". This is what she now calls her dildo. She had never used one before and now couldn't do without. She told me that she is looking forward to my next trip out of town.

When I got home, it was straight to bed every night until 3 am. Several nights she has pulled her dildo out of her new toy bag and handed it to me. I tease her and ask what I am supposed to do with it and she kisses me and says "I want my boyfriend to fuck me until I cum while I'm sucking on your dick". Well, who am I to argue?

Earlier this week she was horny and we were going at it hot and heavy and talking about the fantasy and she came hard. She admitted that it turns her on and she wants it. She admits that she goes back and forth and denies it when she isnt horny but the truth is that she wants it bad, she then says that she never would because she is Christian and because "people are messy" i.e. drama, but that she does indeed want it.

I haven't mentioned it irl again and am letting her thrive in roleplay. Today she asked about reading erotic books about hotwives on Kindle Unlimited and maybe researching the lifestyle.

It's too early to bring her to this forum. As far as books on Kindle Unlimited, does anyone have any favorites? any suggestions? I know this might be too narrow, but books on hotwives without the cuckhold angle would appeal to her most. Shy wives taking the first step, etc?

[HopefullyOneDay]

Some ups and downs, big downs, but over all I think there is progress.

She really enjoys the online roleplay where her character is married but has sex with other men. If I get busy at work and don't roleplay for a daynor two she pouts and asks when we can continue. IRL she enjoys some pillow talk from me, but won't initiate or say much. If I ask her questions about what she would like she giggles softly or nods her head. She has always been and always will be shy. She has admitted with the right guy she could get past the shyness.

I tried to redirect the roleplay so that it was her and not a fictional character being a hotwife and she pushed back hard. It was not pretty and we struggled for a few days. She admitted that the idea gets her really worked up but then says she would never do it and then gets into the weeds about how she doesnt know if she would enjoy it because people are complicated and she doesnt know if she would find the right guy or if he would be any good in bed and a thousand other variables.

She does admit that she likes being "naughty". When I go out of town and send her rp messages she plays with her dildo until she cums. She won't tell me about it though unless I ask her directly. She has gone out of the house a few times in crotchless panties (she refuses, so far, to go braless) and on a recent road trip she rode 15 minutes or so with her breasts out. I suggested she keep journal of her "journey to naughtiness" with any thoughts or acts that push her boundaries. She has agreed but hasn't started yet.

I signed her up for an activity she has wanted to do for years but never took the initiative on. She did it for 6 weeks and really enjoyed it and signed up for more. The original 6 weeks was all females, but now she is in with a mix with several men also. It has become quite normal to casually mention the prospect of her having sex with another man and when she leaves to go to her activity I kiss her and tell her to have a good time and she blushes knowing what I am hinting at.

She is reading romance novels with lots or sex in them now, something she never did before. She says they aren't erotica, she says they are called "spicy romance".

When we are watching movies or shows and the wife or girlfriend has sex with someone else, instead of ignoring it or complaining like she always has, she giggles. A recent season on King of the Hill introduced her to the term CNM and she giggled quite a bit through those episodes.

She won't take the initiative and I have to lead but she enjoys it that way. She has said if she was ever "tempted" it would have to occur naturally and that she wouldnt go looking. So I am hoping she gets some attention from the guys at her activity, enough to peak her interest and move the needle.

Her favorite roleplay is a scenario where she has made friends with a married hotwife her age who guides her and lets her fuck her husband. She says that would be amazing in real life. (sometimes she insists that if she ever did it that she would absolutely not fuck a married man and other times she says it may be 'safer' to fuck a married man). I told her I would be happy if she found a friend like that. She says she cant just find someone like that. Hopefully one day we can get her on this forum to talk with the hotties in their lounge!

She says that it seems the idea turns me on more than it turns her on and I tell her I want her to be happy.

So, a long way to go, but it is out there.

[Swanilla]

She may have fun setting up a HW profile on one of the lifestyle sites like Kasidie, SDC, SLS, LifestyleLounge, etc. where she can be her naughty alter-ego.

[HopefullyOneDay]

She may have fun setting up a HW profile on one of the lifestyle sites like Kasidie, SDC, SLS, LifestyleLounge, etc. where she can be her naughty alter-ego.

I agree and have suggested it. She isn't quite there yet. I have suggested she could roleplay anonymously with other men online and I see her eyes light up but only for a second before she says no.

[AZguy425]

I want to tell you that I think you are farther along...and she is farther along...than you think. I feel like you have done a great job coaxing this out of her through gaming and roleplaying. I also think that you have been cautious with what you have said to her and how you frame things with her. And now, I feel that she is also cautious how she frames things with you.

You said that she has stated that if she were to have sex with someone else it would have to be natural...as a hypothetical...which is her way of saying she thinks about it but can't see herself actively pursuing it. She is making a statement like this to gauge your reaction. You are engaging her with this sort of talk but you aren't straight up telling her what you want...which leads her to assume and then try and make statements like this to try and see if this is some sort of roleplay or foreplay that you like, but are not interested in engaging in real life or is this real. She's wearing crotchless panties and uses her dildo until she cums thinking about it.

The way someone tells you something matters. If your wife said she could never do that in real life and its NOT her thing and it will never happen then that's a clue. BUT she isn't saying that. She's saying the idea turns her on and then going off on a bunch of "what ifs" that have nothing to do with her actually wanting to do it like "she doesn't know if she will enjoy it" or "how will she find the right man". She is saying it this way to gauge YOUR reaction. You're basically talking past each other at this point I think.

I think you've got to decide what parameters you want and what you are willing to compromise on. Do you want a 3some? To watch her? Do you want her to do it solo one time and tell you? What if she said she would only do it if you set it up, or she would have to do it solo the first time, or whatever? Get your parameters in your head and think about how you will say it. THEN, I think you just need to tell her. Tell her it turns you on like crazy and that you want her to do it in some form, in real life, you want her to get seduced and fucked by another man. Then the cards are on the table...you're no longer trying to gauge whether she would do it or not and she is no longer trying to gauge whether she really wants you to do it or not. She may not come right out and admit, but then when you try and push the game a little and have her RP with a stranger or something, she might actually do it. She also might actually just come out and admit she wants it and you can figure out how to make it happen in real life.

[HopefullyOneDay]

I want to tell you that I think you are farther along...and she is farther along...than you think. I feel like you have done a great job coaxing this out of her through gaming and roleplaying. I also think that you have been cautious with what you have said to her and how you frame things with her. And now, I feel that she is also cautious how she frames things with you.

You said that she has stated that if she were to have sex with someone else it would have to be natural...as a hypothetical...which is her way of saying she thinks about it but can't see herself actively pursuing it. She is making a statement like this to gauge your reaction. You are engaging her with this sort of talk but you aren't straight up telling her what you want...which leads her to assume and then try and make statements like this to try and see if this is some sort of roleplay or foreplay that you like, but are not interested in engaging in real life or is this real. She's wearing crotchless panties and uses her dildo until she cums thinking about it.

The way someone tells you something matters. If your wife said she could never do that in real life and its NOT her thing and it will never happen then that's a clue. BUT she isn't saying that. She's saying the idea turns her on and then going off on a bunch of "what ifs" that have nothing to do with her actually wanting to do it like "she doesn't know if she will enjoy it" or "how will she find the right man". She is saying it this way to gauge YOUR reaction. You're basically talking past each other at this point I think.

I think you've got to decide what parameters you want and what you are willing to compromise on. Do you want a 3some? To watch her? Do you want her to do it solo one time and tell you? What if she said she would only do it if you set it up, or she would have to do it solo the first time, or whatever? Get your parameters in your head and think about how you will say it. THEN, I think you just need to tell her. Tell her it turns you on like crazy and that you want her to do it in some form, in real life, you want her to get seduced and fucked by another man. Then the cards are on the table...you're no longer trying to gauge whether she would do it or not and she is no longer trying to gauge whether she really wants you to do it or not. She may not come right out and admit, but then when you try and push the game a little and have her RP with a stranger or something, she might actually do it. She also might actually just come out and admit she wants it and you can figure out how to make it happen in real life.

I have told her how much I want her to have sex with other men and have told her she is free to be as naughty as she wants and fuck any man she wants. She says she would never do it but absolutely loves having the freedom and permission.

We have talked about guidelines and what each would want.

She knows I don't want cucked. I want her to have fun. I won't stand for being talked down to or humiliated and she says she wouldnt like or tolerate it. I wouldnt want her spending the night or getting emotionally attached. She would want to cuddle and have a relationship. I would want her to have several guys in the mix. She would like "one really good guy, maybe two".

She says she would never do it but if she did, she would give her body completely to another man and let him do whatever he wanted to her except her ass. She says she would want him at least once a month. She says she would be having sex whenever I am out of town, but want no one but me when I am home.

She doesnt want someone younger. She prefers her age or older. She wants someone who knows he can't have all of her and is stable.

She admits that the thought of having "dicks on the side" really turns her on.

The topic is in the open and we dont even need to specifically reference it, we both know it is "available" to her.

The hard part is she doesnt want to look and doesnt want me to look. She says it has to happen naturally.

It is a great thing that she is getting out of the house more and interacting with men. I am hoping one hits on her and scores.

[DaveOnEdge]

She says she would never do it but if she did, she would give her body completely to another man and let him do whatever he wanted to her except her ass.

I really hope she meets someone and gives up her ass.

Does she do anal with you?

[HopefullyOneDay]

She says she would never do it but if she did, she would give her body completely to another man and let him do whatever he wanted to her except her ass.

I really hope she meets someone and gives up her ass.

Does she do anal with you?

Nope. Anal is something that she has never considered and I don't think she ever would

[cdb]

I’ve been visiting this forum on and off for twenty years now. Sometimes I check in every day for months on end, other times I’ve gone years without checking it.

This post is the best one I’ve read in all those years. You’re gifted at explaining your thoughts clearly. And it seems that you understand the mind of a woman better than most men. Also, you type with both hands, unlike the majority of posts that are typed with the left hand only.

Your wife has many similarities to mine. I think the only thing that’s preventing the fantasy from becoming a reality for you is the lack of real-life time spent with the right guy. If she was around the right man, all her objections and worries would disappear and she’d be in heat doing everything she can, within the constraints of her personality, to have sex with him.

[HopefullyOneDay]

I’ve been visiting this forum on and off for twenty years now. Sometimes I check in every day for months on end, other times I’ve gone years without checking it.

This post is the best one I’ve read in all those years. You’re gifted at explaining your thoughts clearly. And it seems that you understand the mind of a woman better than most men. Also, you type with both hands, unlike the majority of posts that are typed with the left hand only.

Your wife has many similarities to mine. I think the only thing that’s preventing the fantasy from becoming a reality for you is the lack of real-life time spent with the right guy. If she was around the right man, all her objections and worries would disappear and she’d be in heat doing everything she can, within the constraints of her personality, to have sex with him.

Thank you for your kind words.

I hope what you say is true. I think she believes it to and it scares her.

I have been encouraging her to go out more and meet new people and leaving the office when she is online with male friends to give her every opportunity.

[Knightryder701]

I think you should reconsider your decision to not share this website with her. There are experienced hot wives here that can share the life of hotwifing with her and hopefully address her fears that are holding her back from irl. You have clearly aroused her libido and brought her to the brink. But I think it will now take a woman’s voice to take her over the edge

[HopefullyOneDay]

A lot has happened recently. She still says she would never do it, but....

On a recent road trip she spent a half hour with her shirt pulled up and her breasts exposed.

She has been leaving the house once a week with crotchless panties and sometimes no bra. She only goes braless when she has a heavy shirt on because she still is nervous and doesn't want anyone to see her nipples through her shirt.

She days she wants to be "a little naughty".

I have suggested a few times that she post suggestive photos of herself online anonymously, not nude, just suggestive, but she has refused.

A few days ago, out of the blue she mentioned that none of the men in her weekly classes are "side dick material". She blushed and giggled. I was shocked she brought it up on her own without me asking. Later I asked if she had been evaluating them and she blushed and insisted she hadn't.

Last night in bed I asked her how naughty she wanted to be and she again said "a little". Later, I had her on the edge of cumming and held her there. As she moaned and bucked her hips, I asked her what she would do if one of the men from our roleplay was there and she moaned "I would fuck him. You know I would. I couldn't resist". I teased her some more and she said she would fuck both men from roleplay and me. She said if they were real she wouldn't be able to resist. I asked her if that was 'a little naughty". She bit her lip and shook her head no and whispered "it's very naughty". After she came and snuggled in close I asked her if she wanted to be very naughty and she whispered "yes, sometimes".

I didn't press any further since that usually results in pushback. I was supris3d at work this morning when she sent me two selfie. One topless and one full body except for head that showed her in nothing but a black corset. I teased her and asked her what she was going to do with the pictures. She surprised me by saying if I would crop out everything below her belly button that she would post the one in the corset. Of course I quickly did and she uploaded it and now I am waiting for the site moderator to approve it.

So, lots of movement. Still walking the fine line and trying to encourage her but not push her.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

You're posting a pic on "this" site?

[HopefullyOneDay]

You're posting a pic on "this" site?

I am not posting. She is. It is her call where and when.

I wish it was here. Unfortunately she is posting it on a different site. One that is not sex related.

I would be happynif she shared her picture with guys here. I would be happynif she shared her physical body with guys here. The guys she chooses that is.

It's not my place to share her photos unless she wants me to.

[HopefullyOneDay]

Another interesting week. She pushed back on the fantasy some last weekend. She said she would never do it, so I pulled back and didnt argue. I kept out roleplay more mundane and she started pushing for more hotwife roleplay without asking for it. She told several days that she needed more roleplay to get her excited during the day. I knew what she meant, but wanted to give her some time. Finally, I roleplayed a scenario with her that left her character standing on her doorstep with her husband and a lover after a nonsexual day together. I was careful not to prompt what happened or push towards sex with one or the other. She put her phone down and looked at me and told me she didnt know what to do and asked if I was pushing her to make a decision. Finally she roleplayed noncommittal waiting for me to direct her and when I kept it noncommittal, she told me I sucked. LoL. So she roleplayed a bit more then had her character passionately kiss the lover in front of her husband before sending him home and fuxking her husband like crazy.

She loves the hotwife roleplay and hates it when I steer towards anything else, but sh e always wants me to put her in the situation and if left to her, she will always choose the stay with the husband, unless the husband is "out of town" then she goes straight to one of her side dicks.

During the week, while I was keeping the roleplay tame, she told me she would be afraid of STIs IRL. She also told me she has never, in the years we've been together, had the urge with anyone else. These and other comments have come up unprompted from her at random.

Yesterday we had a good talk and she finally accepts that I would be ok, more than ok, with her fucking other men. She knows that cheating would not be ok and that she would have to tell me. She said she knows that I would be upset if she had feelings for another man. I assured her that feelings were ok and to be expected as long as they don't threaten our marriage. Her face lit up and she said that made everything more possible because she couldn't ever see herself having sex with someone the didnt have feelings for.

Later she commented that it wouldn't be fair for her to have sex with other men if she didnt let me have sex with other women. I told her that wasn't necessarily true and asked if she would be upset if I had sex with other women. She said it would depend on the situation and I asked her what situation she would be ok with and she thought for awhile and finally agreed none. She then said it wouldn't be fair for her to sleep with other men. I assured her that I was ok with her sleeping with other men and that meant she could and it was OK that she wasnt ok with me sleeping with other women. I told her that her feelings were valid and she didnt need to make things "even". Later, out of the blue, she said "maybe if I wanted to sleep with a guy and needed you to keep his wife occupied" I laughed and asked if she would want me to "take one for the team"? She assured me that she would only ask if the guy she wanted really turned her on and she thought I would enjoy the wife.

She still falls back to "I'd never" but the conversations are open and honest and I am hearing more or her shy giggles when things come up than I have heard in 25 years together.

[Midnight Joker]

Later she commented that it wouldn't be fair for her to have sex with other men if she didnt let me have sex with other women. I told her that wasn't necessarily true and asked if she would be upset if I had sex with other women. She said it would depend on the situation and I asked her what situation she would be ok with and she thought for awhile and finally agreed none.

That was a test and I think you passed.

[AZguy425]

You're making great progress. She's telling you she can't do it and then giving you all of the scenarios she thinks she can and does want to. You need to keep putting her in the hot seat to make a decision in roleplay and push her to make the opposite decision she is making now.

[coastalkid]

Later she commented that it wouldn't be fair for her to have sex with other men if she didnt let me have sex with other women. I told her that wasn't necessarily true and asked if she would be upset if I had sex with other women. She said it would depend on the situation and I asked her what situation she would be ok with and she thought for awhile and finally agreed none. She then said it wouldn't be fair for her to sleep with other men. I assured her that I was ok with her sleeping with other men and that meant she could and it was OK that she wasnt ok with me sleeping with other women. I told her that her feelings were valid and she didnt need to make things "even". Later, out of the blue, she said "maybe if I wanted to sleep with a guy and needed you to keep his wife occupied" I laughed and asked if she would want me to "take one for the team"? She assured me that she would only ask if the guy she wanted really turned her on and she thought I would enjoy the wife.

She still falls back to "I'd never" but the conversations are open and honest and I am hearing more or her shy giggles when things come up than I have heard in 25 years together.

Just for argument sake, what if THIS was what she wanted or needed to feel okay about about becoming a hot wife? What if THIS is what you HAVE to do for her to become a hot wife? Could you you do it? Could you do something you don't really want to do if it resulted in her becoming a hot wife?

What if she just can't feel good about the one-sided nature of your proposal. She might feel that might lessen her ability to really have fun because she truthfully does not understand "what you get out of it".

I have no doubt there is a likelihood of THIS being a test as MidnightJoker suggests. I think you would be the best person to answer if it felt like a test. You know her. You've seen and heard what she's like in different situations. Did it feel like a test or did you get the impression that she was genuine and sincere.

Once again, just for argument sake, if it was a test, did your answer set aside all her fears and concerns? Did she appear as though she was instantly relieved by your answer and any anxiety she had was alleviated? Has she really come to grips with what she sees as an obvious (obvious because she felt the need to mention it) inequity? It's possible that she hears what you say but still can't make herself believe it.

Obviously you and your wife are really close to making it a reality. Probably the best thing you can do is try to be relaxed. Show her that you can have the kink but still be the same you, as in, you control your kink, your kink doesn't control you. The whole thing is supposed to be about having fun, right? If your wife is bringing up topics like this she isn''t dismissing the idea. She's working them through in her own head.

[HopefullyOneDay]

Thank you everyone for the responses.

I don't think her asking about me sleeping with other women is an intentional test. I don't even think she has a real concern that I might want that, although it could be a deal breaker for her.

I think the issue arose because of two things 1. She is grappling with the question intellectually as well as emotionally. She is trying to determine what it would mean to be a hotwife and how it would effect us. She has said she gets turned on by the thought "in short moments" but that people are messy and complicated. She is looking for any unforeseen consequences or repercussions.

2. She is very empathetic. She responds more emotionally and sexually rather than lead and seek on her own. Her partner's pleasure turns her on greatly. She has already said that if she had a lover she would submit to him and let him do whatever he wanted to her. His pleasure would be very important to her and get her excited. She wants to know what I would like.

As to the question of would I sleep with another woman tlif it was what it took to make my wife take the plunge? The answer is of course yes.

We talked the other day about anklets and she said she used to like them. I told her what they meant in the lifestyle and she said she wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea about her. Yesterday were looking at tops, dresses, and pants that she could wear out of the house that would show off her figure more. I showed her several anklets and eventually she chose one which I will buy for her today. No pineapple or fox or other symbol or charm, just a plain 18k gold chain, but it still had me excited.

[HopefullyOneDay]

The discussions about her having a boyfriend or two are coming more and mor3 natural in and out of the bedroom. The "nevers" are getting fewer and fewer and she openly admits that the thought excites her.

Sometimes we'll be talking and she will be telling me how much it excites her and things she would like and wouldn't like and then will stop and say "wait, are we talking real life?" and I kiss her and tell her we are.

Yesterday she said if it wasn't for the moral (religious) problem that she would really be interested. I told her I wasn't sure the moral problem was as big as she thinks. Instead of shutting me down, she said she would research it and discuss it.with me. This is HUGE progress.

I still don't know if we will ever get there, but the open and honest conversations are great. She is getting better at telling me what excites her and she has been asking me to tell her more about what excites me. Concerns about having a daughter still at home and birth control are still issues, but when the daughter moves out in a few years my wife should no longer be fertile, so we have some time to work on the other concerns until then.

Right now she is happy to wear her anklet and go.out more without bras. She insists on a bra when she goes places where she is known, but recently went to a big box Hardware store with me and took off her bra before we left home and told me to let her know if any men noticed her. All of this is a big change and I am looking forward to more open honest discussions with her to see where it leads.