Also, I don't like these unrealistic transformations or cliché surrenders, so I wanted believable reactions under increasingly unconventional pressure. Think of the friend using psychological games and technical ingenuity. He is driven by morbid curiosity and tries to drag them into a dependence they cannot fully see. I let it start out calm, but his perverted mind is endless.
I've spent a lot of time getting the psychology right, so I'm really happy to finally put it out there.
----------
"How is any of this supposed to work out? My job isn't just going to come back." Beth sat at the dining table with red eyes.
"Hey, honey. We'll figure this out." Scott stepped behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. "My job can support us, and once the market settles down, we'll find a way. It'll be okay."
"I know," Beth murmured. "But I love what I do, and I thought I was good at it. And now these damn algorithms are ruining everything."
She rested her head against his chest, and Scott pulled her into his arms. "Come here. My job is safe, honey. Motorcycles need precise calculations, and no algorithm is taking that away from us anytime soon." He tried to make it sound more confident than he felt.
Beth let out a breath as her sobs grew quieter. "God, I'm so glad I have you," she whispered and lifted her head. "Without you... I don't even know what I'd do."
Scott held her face in his hands. "It'll be okay. Look at what we've already accomplished." He nodded toward the window, where the backyard lay peaceful.
"Yeah, I know... I know..." Beth said with a small smile, as she reached for his hand and squeezed it. Scott squeezed back and was relieved to see some of the worry leave her face.
The Whitakers had built their home in the suburbs of a midsize city, not far from a world-famous American motorcycle manufacturer where Scott worked. Their house wasn't big, but it was what they had always wanted: a peaceful retreat with a backyard of their own and enough room for little ones someday. Still, with him being in his late thirties and Beth a little younger, their parents had started reminding them that they didn't have forever to make that decision.
"Well," she finally said, "at least it's the weekend. I think I'll go outside and take my mind off things."
"Sounds good." Scott gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I'll come with you and get the grill ready. Toby's coming over later, and I want to blow him away with a perfect steak." He winked at her. "Maybe he'll even have an idea for your AI problem. He's smart, after all."
"True," Beth said.
Outside, she pulled on her gardening gloves while Scott scrubbed the grill.
Later, he sat on the patio with a glass of juice and watched Beth work among the garden beds. Her T-shirt clung to her slim yet naturally feminine figure, and she looked full of life as she moved. He loved seeing her like this, with her blond hair shining in the sun, occasionally turning to him with a sweet smile. "Enjoying the view?" she asked.
"You bet," Scott said with a grin, and for a moment, everything was perfect.
----------
"Come on, Beth," Scott begged into the darkness, as if certain he could convince her that he was exactly what she needed right now. His warm whiskey breath, hitting her as he nibbled at her ear, certainly wasn't helping his case. Maybe the hand slipping under her shirt and over her stomach would do a better job, leaving little doubt about where he thought this absolutely needed to go.
Beth faked a yawn and turned her head away, but her body didn't go along with the act, as she tensed beneath his touch.
"Honey, come ooon," he mumbled, sliding his hand farther down over her hip until his fingers reached her panties.
Beth bit her lip and glanced at the wall. "Scott," she whispered, "Toby's in the next room."
He laughed against her neck. "He's out cold. Trust meee... It's just the two of us." His lips touched her skin as his fingers kept moving, brushing the inside of her thigh. "Who knows," Scott joked, "maybe he's into you."
"Scott!" she called in a warning tone, though without much conviction.
When he touched her between the legs, her body seemed to side with Scott, rising toward him almost automatically. Her thoughts narrowed more and more to his hand, the warmth between her legs, and the knowledge that another man was sleeping on the other side of the wall. "Okay," she finally whispered. "But don't get too rough, all right?"
Scott didn't answer right away, as he was already moving on top of her, his familiar weight pressing her deeper into the mattress. He was her Scott, sometimes rushed, sometimes too loud, but real. "I'll be gentle," he whispered. "I promise."
Beth gave an amused little shake of her head. Men. Then his mouth found hers. The beer and whiskey on his breath tasted bitter on her tongue, but the way he wanted her made up for it. With a small, accepting sigh, Beth closed her eyes and put her hands behind his neck as he pushed her shirt up and cupped her breasts, not quite as carefully as she might have liked, but with that familiar devotion that always made her forgive him.
When his mouth moved lower and his lips closed around one nipple, Beth pressed her lips together to keep a soft "Mmmm" from escaping. Scott's hand found its way between her legs again, this time stroking directly over her pussy. She was already wet, and her hips moved instinctively toward his hand.
He pulled her panties aside, braced himself beside her with one arm, and guided his hard cock to her entrance with his other hand. Then he slowly pushed into her until she felt all of him inside her and pressed the back of her head into the mattress.
"Oh, Beth," he gasped.
His first movements were slow, almost as gentle as he'd promised. There we go, Beth thought while another soft moan escaped her. "Mmmm."
But Scott couldn't stay that gentle for long. His breath grew rougher against her neck, and Beth's fingers slid over his back, trying to hold on to him and slow him down at the same time.
"Scott," she breathed, "not so hard."
He heard her, and for a few seconds he even tried. But Scott being Scott, his restraint didn't last long. His hips thrust harder against her, and Beth felt her own resistance fading. She wanted to stay quiet, but with every thrust, it became harder. "Scott... aahhh..."
Then something creaked in the next room.
Beth froze beneath him. "What was that?"
Scott kept thrusting. "Nothing," he panted. "It's fine."
But Beth listened in the dark. In her mind, the wall had suddenly become as thin as cardboard, and behind it... was Toby.
"Scott, not so loud," she whispered.
Scott gave an absent little "Mhm," which probably meant he wasn't going to remember it for very long.
Beth would have rolled her eyes if keeping them closed hadn't felt so much better, and her hips found his rhythm again even as her mind fought against it. The danger itself made everything clearer. She heard the bed creaking and her own gasps.
Scott gripped her tighter, pushed deeper into her, and an involuntary "Ooaahh..." escaped her, loud enough that her eyes flew open and she immediately bit her lip. Yeah... so much for quiet.
Her nails dug into Scott's back as the tension built inside her, but his movements were already becoming uneven. His forehead fell against her shoulder as he lost his rhythm, and Beth knew that rhythm well enough by now.
With a deep, strained "Nngh... Beth..." he tensed over her. A few more hard thrusts, then she felt him pulsing inside her before he collapsed heavily on top of her.
Beth stared into the darkness for a second. Oh Scott... It was all over far too quickly.
She held him anyway. Her legs were still trembling, and part of her wanted to keep him inside her in the hope that he might somehow still finish what he'd awakened in her. But Scott rolled onto his side, draped an arm over her waist, and gave the deeply satisfied grunt of a man who apparently had an excellent night.
"Sorry, honey," he murmured. "You're just too good."
Beth smiled anyway. "Idiot," she whispered, but there was no edge to it.
His hand found hers and gave it a brief squeeze. Even if he was a little too pleased with himself, he was still sweet enough that she couldn't stay annoyed with him. Before long, his breathing grew steadier, and a little later, he was half asleep beside her while Beth remained awake.
Not a sound came from the next room. It reassured her, but not completely.
She slid one hand over her stomach and placed the other on her breast, still warm from Scott's mouth. She tried to keep her thoughts on him and on how badly he had wanted her.
Then the comparison came before she could stop it. Toby could really last. Scott had let it slip once when he was drunk and had long since forgotten he'd ever said it.
She grimaced. Ugh. No. She closed her eyes and pushed the thought away. "Mmmm..." she breathed as her fingers slipped between her thighs. She was wet with Scott, his come still warm inside her, yet her body ached for what he hadn't finished.
----------
Toby lay awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling, when a dull thump came through the wall, followed by a muffled "Mmm" that was enough to make his body react. He lay perfectly still, as if any movement might give away that he was awake.
Then another sound came from next door, longer and more strained this time, and Toby tried to focus on it. He let his hand slip beneath the covers and close around his already hardening cock as the bed on the other side of the wall settled into a steady rhythm. When Toby shifted without meaning to, the guest bed creaked beneath him. He froze, but the rhythmic thumping from the next room continued. Beth's muffled voice came through the wall, followed by Scott's low murmur, and Toby remained motionless until he was sure they hadn't noticed.
He would have loved to have a look, but all he could do was listen. He pictured Beth only vaguely, piecing her together from what came through the far-too-thick wall: a muffled gasp and the soft thumping of the bed. In his mind, she lay naked beneath Scott, her fingers digging into the sheets, too busy trying to stay quiet.
Now a clearer sound reached him, and Toby sucked in a breath through his teeth and pushed his underwear lower. His cock was hot in his hand as he imagined Beth turning her head toward the wall at that very moment. She had no idea he was awake or that he was using every sound to create his own version of her.
In that version, Scott wasn't on top of her anymore. Toby saw himself there, kneeling between her legs, holding her thighs and slowly spreading them wider until she lay open in front of him. In his imagination, her wet pussy was right in front of his cock, ready for him to finally thrust into her.
He stroked himself harder and imagined running the tip over her pussy. Beth shuddered beneath him and held her breath because she knew it was happening now, having learned to stop questioning what came next. Then, in his mind, he pushed into her, deep enough to make her mouth fall open with a real moan, just for him.
"Fuck," Toby breathed, and his hand moved faster. The thumping from the next room set the rhythm, but in his mind, it was his hips pressing Beth into the mattress. He imagined her wrapping her legs around him, her pussy tightening around his cock the deeper he fucked her, while she tried to stay quiet even though he could tell she couldn't.
Suddenly, a stifled "Ooaahh..." came from the next room.
Toby almost moaned along with her but choked the sound back. In his imagination, that sound belonged to him. Scott was nothing but a shadow now, something Toby used to see Beth more clearly. Her breasts trembled with every thrust and her hips moved to meet him, asking for more.
His breathing grew ragged. He held a crumpled tissue ready and continued staring at the ceiling as his mind kept drawing Beth on it. Now she was fully there, open beneath him, her body hot and yielding as he fucked her faster and imagined that she already knew better than to interrupt what he wanted from her.
That was driving him crazy. "Beth," he whispered.
Scott's muffled voice came through the wall again, then the rhythm grew more uneven, and Toby could tell he couldn't hold out much longer. The thought made him desperate because he wanted more. More than this wall and a few sounds that weren't meant for him.
He stroked himself hard and came with a "Nngh..." that he barely managed to choke back. His hot cum shot into the tissue while, in his mind, he was still between Beth's spread legs, pumping his load deep into her pussy for the umpteenth time that day, right where Scott was actually allowed to be.
Afterward, Toby lay there sweaty, with a sting of envy.
On the other side of the wall, everything had gone quiet, but even as his breathing settled, the hunger didn't go away.
Someday, he thought.
----------
"The coffee's helping. I'm still not quite with it," Scott said, holding the mug in both hands as if it were medicine.
Beth sat beside him at the breakfast table and took a bite of her roll. "Yeah, you really worked hard last night."
Scott grinned at her over the rim of his mug, and Beth knew exactly what he was thinking. "Wasn't just me," he said.
Beth shook her head, but she had to smile, and for a moment, last night was back between them.
"Toby's probably still asleep," Scott said. "He was completely wiped out after gaming, and he didn't exactly hold back on the whiskey, either."
"No wonder. You guys were yelling until after midnight."
"That was tactical communication."
"Uh-huh."
"Very important."
Beth laughed and took a sip of coffee, and without really thinking, she glanced toward the stairs. Everything upstairs was quiet, and her attention returned to her roll.
Scott didn't notice. "It was a good night," he said. "We should do that more often. It's just fun when Toby's around."
"As long as I don't have to join in. I'll stick to my shows."
"Fine. I'll allow it."
"How generous."
Scott laughed and took another sip of coffee. Then his gaze fell on the cups and the remains of breakfast. "You're home today anyway, right? Mind taking care of this later?"
"Sure," Beth said automatically.
"Thanks, honey." He leaned over and kissed her temple.
Beth gave him a small smile, and for a moment, they simply sat there together. Then Scott reached toward her. She placed her hand in his, and his thumb brushed over her knuckles.
"I love you, you know?" he said more quietly, then grimaced apologetically. "And sorry if I went a little too fast last night."
Beth looked at him, and she wanted to tease him about it, but his embarrassed honesty made her soften. "Oh," she said, pretending to be stern. "He remembers."
Scott raised his free hand defensively. "Enough."
Beth held his gaze, then smiled. "You're impossible."
"But charming."
She gave his hand an affectionate squeeze, and this time she really laughed.
----------
"Oh God, my fucking head. Not again," Toby groaned as he opened his eyes and felt the dull pressure behind his forehead. The night at Scott's had gotten out of hand again, with their evenings often following the same pattern: first a few beers, then somehow the whiskey appeared in front of them, and eventually they ended up in the hobby room, gaming like they used to and yelling at each other. At Scott and Beth's house, Toby could let loose, and after long days of analysis at his desk, it always felt like a release.
Waking up, though, was slowly becoming torture now that he was in his late thirties. "My lousy digestion," he muttered, placing a hand on his stomach.
"Whatever." Staying in bed wasn't going to help. His own quiet bed was waiting for him at home, but first he had to get up and somehow look normal. "Let's go." He blinked at the beam of light coming into the room beneath the door. Probably late morning already.
Toby forced himself upright, raised the blackout shades, and opened the window. Even though the brightness stung his eyes, the cool air felt good, and he took a deep breath until the pressure in his head eased a little.
Then the night came back to him. Beth's muffled gasps. The bed hitting the wall. Scott's voice... and that one high-pitched sound. As he kept breathing in and out deeply, he closed his eyes. Beth, he thought. Toby rubbed a hand over his face and laughed under his breath, trying to push the thought away.
His gaze wandered over the tools and unfinished projects in the guest room. Once, he'd had hobby projects to tinker with too. He and Scott had studied engineering together, but their paths had split afterward. Toby had chosen to work for himself, which was exhausting and often lonely, but it belonged to him. Still, the years had been kinder to him financially than Scott probably realized, though Toby still kept the same long hours, mostly because he could lose himself in formulas without noticing the time. Scott, for his part, had chosen the secure job, the house, that orderly life. And Beth.
Something stirred inside him at her name. She was somewhere downstairs, maybe joking around with Scott. So close, yet out of reach.
Toby looked beside the bed and spotted the crumpled tissues. He quickly grabbed them and stuffed them into his pants pocket, as though getting them out of sight could make the whole thing disappear with them.
Before going downstairs, he needed to stop in the bathroom, because with Beth in the house, he didn't want to look like a wreck. Carrying his things, he stepped into the hallway, and Scott and Beth's voices floated up from downstairs. The upstairs doors were open, and the air was pleasantly fresh.
The bathroom was at the end of the hall, right next to Scott and Beth's bedroom. As Toby passed the open bedroom door, he glanced inside, partly out of habit and partly out of curiosity. No one's here.
The bed was rumpled enough to bring the images right back, and he wondered which side Beth had slept on. The thought that he had really gotten a chance to hear her gasps and the rhythmic knocking felt good and frustrating at the same time. Toby shook his head and stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. The window across from the door looked out over a wide field beneath a clear sky, and the sun came in at an angle from the upper left. As though a child had drawn it that way in a picture, he thought.
Toby took his time with his morning routine, because the peaceful stillness felt good right now. "Floor-to-ceiling windows in the bathroom," he murmured with a crooked grin. "Good thing the blinds are halfway up."
Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he appeared even slimmer today than usual. His face was attractive enough that people noticed him, but his body had always been more sensitive, especially given how much they drank.
With the thought of the whiskey, he brushed his teeth especially thoroughly. Despite how sore he felt, he didn't want to look unkempt, not with Beth in the house. He couldn't smell himself, but he had a pretty good idea what he must smell like after all that alcohol.
Then he undressed, dropped his clothes on the floor, and headed for the shower.
His gaze moved from the sink to the showerhead and landed on the laundry hamper. "Oh no." He froze. "Don't do anything stupid," he muttered, and his head started buzzing even though he remained outwardly calm.
Carefully, he checked the door handle, then looked at the window again, while his heart started to pound.
He approached the hamper, where two bathrobes lay on top. Am I really doing this? He lifted them, set them aside, and lowered the lid to the floor without a sound. The hamper was full, and the layers of fabric looked unremarkable, yet they drew him in. He reached inside and lifted the layers as though flipping through the pages of a book. Then he suddenly saw a pair of red silk panties with black lace.
He paused as the air grew heavier before slowly reaching out. Just before touching the fabric, he let his fingers hover over it, giving him one last chance to turn back. Then a thought flashed through his mind: I've spent long enough just watching. He glanced once more at the door and the window, then took them.
The silk was smooth and cool against his skin, though he had no clear intention and didn't know what he planned to do with them.
Toby's pulse hammered in his throat as he studied the fabric in his hand. When he turned the panties over and examined the seams, the red silk shimmered in the light, and he noticed small marks in the fabric. They were wrinkled, as though they'd been damp and then dried again.
Without thinking, he lifted the panties to his face. They probably weren't even the pair she had worn the night before, but he breathed in deeply anyway, searching for some trace of Beth that could complete the picture in his mind. It was a faintly musty scent but not masculine, with a warm note that made an uncontrollable ache spread into his groin, and his cock throbbed without him touching it.
He knew it was wrong to use the most intimate trace of her this way, but his desire drowned out every bit of shame. Eyes closed, Toby held the panties, and saw Beth clearly in his mind, the fabric against her skin, around her hips and across her stomach, all the way down over her... pussy.
"Oh, fuck..." he whispered. He'd never been this close in this way to her before.
His fingers moved over the silk as if it were her skin, and he gripped the fabric more tightly, trying to hold on to something slipping away from him. He wasn't touching her, and yet she was there.
The images kept flickering through his mind. Beth was slim, but her breasts were full, as was her ass. The right amount of fat to give satisfying slapping sounds when pounding away on her, and the feeling of conquest. And she carried all that with a liveliness that made her damn sexy. The whole picture was rounded out by her blond hair, which fell in wild waves, and those ice-blue eyes that always shone despite how proper she often was. She was unattainable, and that was what made her so irresistible.
Then a sentence came into his thoughts. "Beth doesn't like that. Oral sex isn't really her thing." Scott's voice had been a little slurred at the time. Toby hadn't said anything, only nodded and filed the remark away.
Another time, Scott had made some remark about porn. Toby had tossed the word "cuckolding" into the conversation like a joke. Scott had hesitated, then laughed. "What's that supposed to be? Some guy watching another guy fuck his wife?" It sounded like he couldn't even imagine such a thing. Toby had smiled and dropped the subject. Scott knew a lot, but not what Toby thought really mattered.
As Toby's fingers kept stroking the silk, he could feel her against him in his mind. He lowered the panties and rubbed them against himself, and when they reached his throbbing cock, he wrapped the silk around the head, where his precum dampened the wrinkled spot. To him, it felt as if he were touching her slit directly.
Then he imagined Beth standing in front of him and slowly sliding the panties down until they fell around her ankles. Her eyes, half-clouded with desire, stayed fixed on him as she bent forward, braced her hands against the wall, and pushed her round ass back toward him. He pictured grabbing her from behind, digging his fingers into her hips, and driving deep into her tight, pulsing pussy until she gasped his name.
His hand tightened around the panties while his cock kept dripping into them. He moved to the edge of the shower and considered coming in them, but the evidence would be too risky. With his left hand, he gently stroked his balls and imagined Beth's delicate fingers in its place. His right hand held the panties and became her. Hold still, Beth. His breath came in short, quiet bursts so no one would hear him. He saw her in front of him, her lips slightly parted, as if she already knew what he expected of her. That's it. Good girl.
"Ohh... Beth," he whispered. His hips thrust forward rhythmically, as though he were really holding Beth bent over and fucking her hard while Scott ate breakfast downstairs, completely unaware. She would hold still and give herself to him because she had learned how he needed it. It was always that kind of thought that made his blood run hot.
"Ohh, fuck, Beth," he whispered again.
His body tensed, and a hoarse moan escaped him before release hit him like a blow. A shudder ran through his entire body as his cum shot across the shower and hit the tiles.
"Ahhhh, fuuuuck," Toby gasped. It felt like he'd really had her.
His hips jerked forward a few more times, as if his shaft were still sliding along the inside of her pussy, and his whole body kept trembling as the last aftershocks ran through him.
"Fuuck, Beth..."
Then panic rose inside him. "Ahh shit... calm now... just don't leave any traces."
As dominant as he'd been in his fantasy, he was just as embarrassed by the reality of the moment. He cleaned up every trace and rinsed the tiles, then put the panties back, replaced the lid, and arranged the bathrobes on top to make everything look untouched. Afterward, he took a hot shower as a twinge of guilt came over him. "God... you fucking freak," he muttered.
He told himself nothing had happened and that he could undo all of it, but when he looked at the laundry hamper, he knew it hadn't just been a slipup.
Then slowly the dull headache returned, throbbing behind his temples. He stepped out of the shower, dried himself off, and distracted himself by looking out over the fields. Once he was dressed, he checked the room one last time. He gathered his things and left the bathroom, taking another look into Scott and Beth's bedroom as he passed.
Meanwhile, voices and the faint murmur of music drifted up from below, and he slipped down the stairs. He liked moving quietly like this because it gave him the feeling of staying out of sight and watching first.
When he walked down the hall toward the living and dining area, Scott and Beth's voices grew clearer, with the clink of cups in between. For a short moment, his eyes fell on his phone, still lying on the dresser in the hall where he'd left it charging overnight, but he left it there and kept walking.
The living and dining area was spacious and bright, with warm sunlight coming through the floor-to-ceiling windows and the open kitchen right beside the dining table. Scott sat at the table with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand while Beth returned from the counter and set down a basket of fresh rolls.
When Toby walked in, Scott looked up and broke into a broad grin. "Morning, sleepyhead!" he called. "I was starting to think we'd need a crane to get you out of there." He bit into his roll and wiped away the crumbs as he laughed.
Beth turned around, and a few strands of blond hair fell across her face. "Good morning, Toby," she said. She looked at him before turning back to the table.
Toby sat down across from them and rubbed his temple. "Morning."
"Sleep okay? Coffee?" she asked.
"Like a rock." He gave her a crooked smile. "And yeah, coffee would be great. Thanks."
Beth nodded and went over to the coffee machine. Scott leaned back and watched her, and when Beth turned around, he gave her an affectionate look. "Just like being at Mom's, huh, Toby?" He winked at her. "By the way, you look like you danced with a bear and lost."
"Feels like it too," Toby said.
Beth brought Toby his coffee, and her fingers lingered on the handle for a moment as she set the cup in front of him before sitting down beside Scott. "You two were up late last night," she said as her eyes flicked toward Toby. "At some point, I stopped listening. You sounded like teenagers playing video games."
"Guilty as charged," Scott said. He put an arm around Beth's shoulders and pulled her close. "Toby needed to come out of his cave for once. Right? What do you do all the time, poring over formulas?" He kissed Beth on the temple.
Toby nodded and looked out at the fields. "Something like that. But it was nice to take my mind off things for once." For a moment, he saw the red fabric in his hand again.
As Scott talked about his last throw at axe-throwing practice, Beth passed him the butter, and Toby felt separated from the peaceful scene by a pane of glass. He took a sip of coffee and sat through the banter.
...
Scott was always so enthusiastic when talking about his hobby. He explained something about grip and targets while Beth watched him with the patient smile she apparently reserved for moments like this.
Then Scott pushed back his chair, finished his coffee, and stood up. "I have to get going. Practice won't wait. Still need to pack my stuff." He looked at Toby again. "And you're sure you don't want to come today?"
"Nah, I'll pass," Toby said, waving him off.
Scott pulled Beth close, slid his hands around her waist, and kissed her. "Wish me luck, honey," he murmured.
"I love you," Beth said softly, running her fingers over his back.
She watched him go with a smile as Scott thundered up the stairs with all his energy.
The room fell quiet, and the only sounds were the hum of the refrigerator and the birds chirping outside. When Beth turned to Toby, a few blond strands fell across her face again, and she brushed them back with a casual motion. "More coffee?"
"Yeeah," Toby replied with a smile. "Please."
Alone with Beth, all the small sounds stood out more clearly: her footsteps and the clink of the cup against the counter. "How are you doing, anyway?" Toby asked as she walked into the open kitchen. "We talked about your job yesterday. Scott said things have been a little slow lately."
Beth's shoulders sagged as she made the coffee. "Slow is putting it nicely," she murmured. "Half my clients are gone, and I sit there wondering whether any of it still makes sense." She turned halfway toward him. "Do you think I'm just... obsolete now?"
Toby moved closer to the counter so she wouldn't have to look at him from across the room. "You're not obsolete," he said calmly. "But I don't think things are simply going to go back to the way they were, either."
Beth looked at him and seemed disappointed, as though she'd hoped he would say something else.
"That doesn't mean you've lost," he continued. "It just means the playing field has changed. You're good at what you do. Maybe you don't have to see these tools as the enemy. They can take care of the crap that keeps you from doing the actual work."
"I'm an artist, Toby. Not a programmer."
"You don't have to be."
"But I don't want to just push buttons and have something come out at the end." Her voice grew quieter. "I want to create what I love."
Toby nodded slowly. "Then that should stay the focus."
Beth was still holding the coffee cup instead of bringing it to him. "It always sounds so rational when you say it."
"It can help to see it that way sometimes."
"Typical you."
He smiled briefly. "I could show you, if you'd like. Not today, but sometime when we can take our time. It could help you get control of it again."
When he said control, she raised her eyebrows but didn't turn away. "Control would be nice," she said quietly.
Toby leaned against the counter. In her loose sweater and sweatpants, she looked relaxed and careless about her appearance, and that made her seem so approachable, but he forced himself not to let his gaze linger.
"Scott really is a sweetheart," Beth said suddenly, stressing the words.
"He is," Toby said.
"No, really. He holds everything together. Yesterday, he made me feel better, like he always does. 'It'll be okay' and all that." She smiled faintly. "And he's right, too. Probably."
Toby just looked at her.
Beth looked down at the cup in her hand. "But sometimes... I don't know. It feels like he wants to rescue me before he's even understood what he's rescuing me from."
"As nice as it is to know he's always there for you," Toby said, "maybe you don't need a solution right away. Maybe you want him to really see you first and understand what this is about for you. There are enough ways to make money. You don't want to just give up what you love."
Beth looked up. "Yes," she said slowly. "Exactly."
She set the cup down in front of him but remained standing. "He's wonderful," she said. "And I love him for who he is. But that's what I miss." She immediately made a face. "Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Like I'm inventing a problem where there really is none."
"No," Toby said. "Not at all."
Beth smiled uncertainly, and this time she didn't look away. What she had said hung between them. It was something Beth herself had barely been able to put into words, and something Scott would probably never hear her put that way. For a moment, neither of them said anything. Beth held his gaze, and something in that look felt strangely clear.
"I can help you see it more clearly again," Toby said. "If you'd like."
Beth swallowed and nodded almost imperceptibly. "Yes," she said. "I think that would be good."
His tone had remained gentle, but a dark image took shape in Toby's mind: Beth on her knees, her lips parted in front of his cock, ready to give him something Scott would never even suspect. Not because she was like that, but because Toby could get her to do that.
"Here," Beth said, sliding the cup toward him.
Toby reached for the coffee, and his fingers brushed hers, briefly enough that it was probably an accident. "Thanks."
"Thank you," Beth said quietly.
Scott thundered down the stairs, instantly setting the room back in motion. "Well, look at you two lovebirds!" His broad grin reached the kitchen before he did.
Toby flinched. A moment ago, everything had been almost intimate, but now Scott was back with all his loud, easy presence.
"I have to go," Scott said, walking over to Beth and putting an arm around her waist, and she nestled against him as if it were the most natural movement in the world, her hand resting briefly on his chest.
For a moment, she looked past Scott at Toby.
Scott kissed her deeply, without any self-consciousness, and Beth kissed him back. Then Scott pulled away from her with a laugh and grinned over at Toby. "That's how it's done."
Toby returned his grin crookedly. "You can tell you two know each other well."
"Of course," Scott said, pulling Beth against him once more. "My Beth's a sweetheart."
Beth lowered her gaze, though a small smile remained on her face anyway.
Scott cheerfully clapped Toby on the shoulder. "See you later."
"Good luck," Toby said.
Scott was almost in the hall when Beth turned toward him. "Oh, and remember to drop the baby monitor off at your sister's."
Scott stopped. "Where is it?"
"I've got the receiver," Beth said. "But the baby unit should be either in the bedroom or the bathroom."
Toby held the cup still. The bathroom... fuck...
"I'll run upstairs," Scott said, already heading up the stairs.
Beth watched him go. "He'll find it in a second," she said.
"Sure," Toby said without looking at her.
A while ago, Scott's sister had been over with her family for a visit. With the kids, it had always been a bit chaotic, but nothing Beth and Scott minded.
A short moment later, Scott came back downstairs with the baby monitor in his hand. "Bedroom, nightstand. Easy."
Toby let out a slow breath, quietly enough that no one would notice.
Scott packed the device away, grabbed his training gear, and headed for the door. As he passed Beth, he pulled her close one more time, kissed her affectionately, and gave her a playful, firm smack on the butt. "See you later, honey."
"Scott!" Beth laughed and rubbed the spot, and her eyes flicked toward Toby.
"See you later, you two!" Scott called.
"See you!" Toby called back.
Then the door clicked shut.
----------
The ax hit the wood with a solid crack but landed too high.
"Damn, Scott," Eric laughed across the field. "What happened to your aim?"
Scott wiped the sweat from his forehead and grinned. "Just wait. I'm still warming up."
The sun beat down on the fields, and the others' shouts and the dull thud of axes hitting wood echoed across the grounds. Scott stepped back to the line, turned the handle in his hand, and thought of Beth. She is probably out in the garden right now, declaring war on the weeds.
"So," Wade said, taking a drink from his bottle, "how are things going with your better half?"
Scott laughed. "Beth keeps me going. But it's all good." He pulled out his phone and brought up her name. He thought about asking her whether they needed anything for dinner that he could pick up on his way home. It rang for a long time, then went to voicemail.
Scott frowned. Yeah... she left her phone lying around. Like always when she's in the garden. He put it back in his pocket.
"Everything okay?" Eric asked, clapping him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah," Scott said, lifting up the ax again. "Couldn't be better." He took aim and threw. This time the ax landed even farther off target and the guys whooped.
"Still not warmed up," Scott called as he pulled the ax from the wood. But as he walked back to the line, he was thinking about Beth again. Her birthday was the month after next. Maybe a new really good pair of pruning shears. Something practical for her garden beds. Last week, she'd laughed when he pulled weeds the wrong way, then patiently shown him how to do it right.
I need to come up with something, he thought. Something she'll really be happy about.
The rounds dragged on as the sun sank lower and the shadows grew longer, until Scott finally hit dead center. "There we go!" He raised his arms as the others clapped. "Now I'm getting warmed up."
"Only took you half the day," Eric said.
Scott grinned and took a drink of water.
For a while, the laughter, Eric's jokes, and the dull cracks made everything feel easy.
Eventually, Wade asked, "Where's Toby, anyway? Weren't you going to drag him out here sometime?"
"I was," Scott said. "But he needs some rest. He was completely wiped out after last night. Whiskey and gaming did him in."
Eric grinned. "Or maybe he feels like you've got better company at home." The guys laughed, but Scott let out a dismissive huff and shook his head. "Not Toby." He turned the ax in his hand and glanced down. Ridiculous.
He threw again, and this time the ax hit solidly, but not in the center.
"Better," Eric called.
A little later, Scott pulled out his phone again, but Beth still hadn't called back. By now, it was almost five, so he called Beth one more time. It rang, but once again, it went to voicemail.
"That's really weird," he muttered. She probably tuned out the world again. With her job and all that AI crap, I can't even blame her.
"Scott, next round!"
"Yeah, yeah." He put his phone away, picked up the ax, and went back to the line. He threw, and this time, it was a good hit.
"See?" Wade called. "There you go!"
Scott grinned and played along, but there was still something...
The day wore on, and as the sky turned orange, his thoughts kept returning to Beth and the way she'd tried to look strong yesterday morning even though her eyes had been red.
He decided he'd do something nice for her that evening. Something that said: I'm here.
----------
The front door shut, and Beth flinched, letting go of the blanket she had pulled up to her chest. Then quick footsteps thudded down the hall, and a moment later Scott stood in the living room, with his hair damp from the drizzle.
"Honey, I'm home!" He held up the beer bottle and grinned. "The sudden rain messed up practice, so I thought I'd surprise you and come home not too late."
Beth blinked, taking a moment to realize he was really there. Then she sat up, and the blanket slipped into her lap. "Oh... hey." Her voice sounded hoarse. "That's nice, honey."
Scott kicked his shoes into the corner, set the grocery bag down in the kitchen on his way past, and dropped onto the couch beside her. The smell of damp air and beer came in with him, along with a hint of the outdoors. He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Wasn't my day anyway," he said. "Took me a while to get into it."
Beth nestled against him, but a beat later than she normally would have.
Scott looked down at her. "How was your day? Did Toby stay much longer?"
Beth's fingers grabbed the edge of the blanket. "Not that long," she said. "We talked some more about the job and stuff."
"Good," Scott said. "I'm glad. He always has good ideas." He took a sip of beer and set the bottle on the table. "And I'm sure Toby enjoys having a beautiful woman around for a change instead of being surrounded by formulas all the time." He grinned.
Beth looked at the TV, where some show was playing, but it didn't seem like she was really watching it. "Yeah, yeah," she said softly. "It was nice."
Scott studied her. Her hair was a little messy, the blanket was pulled tightly around her legs, and her eyes weren't really on anything. "You look like you've had a long day."
Beth nodded. "It was just a lot."
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah," she said quickly. "Just tired."
Scott nodded, but the small crease between his eyebrows remained as he ran his thumb over her shoulder. "If it helps, you two can talk more often," he said. "Toby's better at that kind of thing than you'd think from looking at him."
Beth gave a brief laugh, more breath than sound. "I'll tell him."
"You better not, or it'll go straight to his head."
For a moment, Scott relaxed with Beth beside him and the quiet sound of the TV in the background.
Beth closed her eyes, and they settled even closer into each other. "Or I could wake you up a little, huh?" His hand slid playfully over her thigh, but Beth went instantly still.
"Scott... not now," she said, pushing his hand away, though she let her fingers rest on his for another moment. "I'm just really exhausted."
Scott leaned back. "Okay." He raised his eyebrows and tried to grin. "I was just kidding."
"I know." She squeezed his hand.
He took another sip of his beer and pulled her close again, but left his hand resting at her waist. "Then get some rest," he murmured. "If you want to talk, I'm here."
"I know," she whispered absently.
Scott kissed the top of her head and looked past her at the TV. Beth lay warm against his side, familiar but somehow not quite there.
It's probably just the job, Scott thought. He kept his arm around her while Beth exhaled with the weary relief of someone who had been waiting a long time to do it.
----------
Toby woke to cars honking outside his apartment window, but kept lying there with his eyes closed, still feeling the intoxicating afterglow of the day before. Everything had worked. It hadn't been especially smart, and it certainly wasn't anything he could be proud of, but it had worked.
His phone was still at Scott and Beth's, exactly where it needed to be. He'd already emailed the recordings to himself yesterday and then deleted them from the device. Today, he planned to look through them in peace.
Wearing nothing but socks and underwear, he shuffled over to the computer on his cluttered desk, pushed an empty mug aside, and opened his email. Among the ads and old notifications, he found a new message from Scott.
8:15 AM
Subject: "Hey, genius..."
Toby paused, then clicked on it and read.
"We need to talk.
I'll be there at noon."
For a moment, the apartment was silent, and Toby felt his pulse in his throat. "Fuck," he whispered, then leaned back and rubbed his face. "Shit, did she say something? Or did he find something? Fuck, the phone. Or the laundry basket... the bathroom..." Toby muttered to himself.
He stared at the email. We need to talk. That could mean anything.
"Maybe it's just about the job," he murmured. Even in his own apartment, the words sounded laughably weak.
The hours until noon dragged by. Toby made coffee, but forgot to drink it, because he paced around the room and returned to the computer, opening the email again as though it might have changed in the meantime.
We need to talk.
I'll be there at noon.
At ten thirty, he forced himself into the shower. Afterward, he put on a clean shirt, then still changed it to a more comfortable one. "Stay calm," he said. "Act normal." Scott had written to him dozens of times saying they needed to talk. It would make sense if this was just about the phone. Scott couldn't text him without it, so of course he'd sent an email instead. Maybe he really does just want to return it and ask me something while he's here. It's probably nothing.
Toby looked at the computer, where the recordings were waiting. "Technically, you didn't even do anything," he said. This time, he didn't even convince himself.
Just before noon, he tried to clean the room and finally cleared two empty bottles off his desk that had been sitting there so long they were practically part of the decor. Then he stopped in the middle of the room and listened for sounds in the hallway, even though it was still too early.
None of yesterday's confidence remained, and Toby was just a friend in his apartment, trying to come up with excuses.
----------
As Scott got out of the car, he felt Toby's phone in his pants pocket. The rain from the night before had stopped, and the air felt fresher than it had the previous day. Whistling, he walked up the gravel path to the front door and rang the bell.
It took Toby a moment to answer. He stood pale in the doorway, his hair freshly styled in an effort to look less wrecked than he felt.
Scott laughed. "Morning, Toby. Thought I'd be nice and bring your phone all the way to your bed. Since when are you so forgetful?" He pulled the phone from his pocket and held it out.
Toby took it. "Aaahh... thanks."
"You okay?" Scott stepped inside and clapped him on the shoulder as he passed. "You look like the whiskey came back for another visit."
Toby managed a thin grin. "Something like that."
Scott took off his jacket and hung it on the hook. "We got pretty soaked later at practice yesterday, but Beth was happy I got home early."
At the sound of Beth's name, Toby kept his eyes on the phone.
Scott noticed, though he had no idea what it meant. "She was acting kind of weird, though," he said as he continued into the living room. "Really quiet. She was lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket like she'd spent the whole day hauling rocks."
Toby closed the door. "Sounds like it was a lot."
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Scott dropped onto the couch. "Long day for both of you, huh?"
Toby cleared his throat. "We just talked about her job."
"Right." Scott nodded. "I'm glad you listened to her. With all this AI stuff, nobody knows how it's going to play out anyway." He gave him a crooked grin. "You want a drink, or should I steal one myself?"
"I'll get something," Toby said almost too quickly, then disappeared toward the kitchen.
Scott watched him go. Toby looks somehow smaller than usual today.
Toby came back with two bottles, set one in front of Scott, and took a sip from his own before sitting down.
"Seriously," Scott said after a while, "Beth wasn't herself yesterday. Usually, she starts chatting away the second I get home. But this time she was so... distant."
Toby gripped the bottle with both hands. "She's been thinking a lot."
"Did she say anything? I mean, anything I should know?"
Toby looked at him, then leaned back. "Nothing specific. What she does means a lot to her. More than you might think."
Scott frowned. "I know that."
"Sure," Toby said. "But to her, it isn't just work. When clients leave, it doesn't just feel like less work. It's more like someone's telling her that what she's good at isn't worth anything anymore."
Scott was silent. Hearing Toby put it so bluntly hit him hard.
"Damn," he murmured. "She didn't say it like that to me. I thought financially, we're not really having a problem. But I see what you mean."
"Maybe she didn't want to burden you."
Scott took a sip and looked down at the bottle in his hand. "But I want her to talk to me."
"She does," Toby said calmly. "Just maybe not always when you've got a solution ready."
Scott looked up, and for a moment he wanted to respond, but then he just shrugged. "Yeah," he said. "Maybe."
Toby took another sip, starting to seem a little calmer.
Scott rubbed the back of his neck. "I tried to cheer her up a little last night. Probably wasn't the best time."
"She was just exhausted."
"That's what she said." Scott grinned, but it quickly faded. "It's not really like her, you know? Being this quiet."
Toby nodded. "Give her a little time. And maybe just give her something that feels like home."
Scott looked at him and laughed. "Listen to the expert."
"You asked."
"I did." Scott shook his head and took another sip. "Maybe I'll make her something good for dinner tonight."
"Sounds good."
"Yeah." Scott set down the bottle. "And you should come over more often. Gaming was fun. Just less whiskey next time, or you'll drop dead on me in the guest room."
Toby smiled, looking more genuine. "Sounds good."
Scott stood and clapped him on the shoulder again. "Thanks for talking, and keep a better eye on your phone, genius."
"I will."
"See you soon."
"See you, Scott."
Scott put on his jacket, went outside, and got into the car. As he started the engine, he was already thinking about Beth. Her quiet face on the couch, and Toby, who might have been right. I really just need to be there.
----------
Toby stood in the apartment until he could no longer hear Scott's car. Then he closed the door.
That was damn close.
Scott's carefree "See you soon" still hung in the apartment. Toby exhaled and looked around, trying to collect himself.
He rubbed his temples and went into the kitchen. First, he needed to eat something. Do something normal. He made himself a sandwich, only to realize after a few bites that he couldn't really enjoy it.
Did I go too far? The videos. The panties. The recording... Or Scott's face as he sat on the couch worrying about Beth. Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck, is this really who I am. Toby swallowed the bite. I could delete everything right now. At least it would be gone. For a while, he stood there with the sandwich in his hand. Then he went to the computer and opened the email quickly. The video files waited in his inbox, unremarkable despite what they contained. Toby selected them, moved them into the hidden prey folder, and watched the progress bar. He didn't open any of the files, because he was still too worked up for that. Later, when I can really enjoy them.
He picked up the phone Scott had returned, not knowing what was hidden on it. For a moment, Toby simply held it in his hand. Then he unlocked the screen and opened the app that no one would notice unless they knew where to look. A small old project from his college days that he only kept updating so it would remain compatible.
The recording was still running. 41 hours. Toby stared at the number.
Since Friday night, when he'd arrived at Scott and Beth's, the phone had recorded everything. Every conversation and footstep within earshot, and hopefully things that had never been meant for him.
He stopped the recording, connected the phone to the computer and waited while the progress bar crawled forward at an agonizing pace. Of course it's huge. Forty-one hours of life takes time to transfer.
"Come on," he muttered. When the transfer was complete, he dragged the file into his audio program. The file loaded sluggishly, and then the waveform appeared on the screen.
Toby leaned closer. Somewhere there she is. He put on his headphones and searched for a part he remembered. Saturday morning's breakfast banter had to be about fourteen hours into the recording. He moved the cursor along the timeline, listened, and skipped ahead. First, there was quiet static, then dishes, and finally, Scott's voice, muffled but instantly recognizable.
"You're no fun. Beth, tell him to come with me."
Toby went still.
"Leave him alone, Scott. Toby knows what he needs, right?"
Beth's voice was louder than he'd expected, which only made sense because at that time she had briefly gone into the hall, bringing her much closer to the microphone.
Then his own voice. "Exactly. Some quiet will do me good."
He was astonished at how monotone he sounded. Toby scrolled ahead and let the recording play again. A chair scraped across the floor, and Scott banged around, as always too loud for any room.
"I have to go."
Toby's breathing grew shallower. He heard a kiss, then footsteps, then Scott's voice, already on his way to the door. Toby stopped the recording and took off the headphones. It worked. Every word was there, along with every little sound he might be able to use later. The waveform stretched across the screen like a dark stockpile: forty-one hours of material Scott would never hear.
Toby leaned back. What did you do after I left? He could have stopped there and not crossed the boundary even further, but this golden treasure was too tempting. He put the headphones back on.
Next came the moment right after breakfast, when Scott had found the baby monitor, kissed Beth, given her that loud smack, and left the house. Toby moved the cursor to the point where Scott's voice came through the static again.
"Bedroom, nightstand. Easy!"
A kiss. A sharp smack.
"See you later, honey!"
"Scott!" Beth's indignant laughter.
"See you later, you two!"
"See you!"
The door clicked shut.
Then there was only the house, Toby... and Beth.
----------
"Bedroom, nightstand. Easy."
Toby let out a slow breath, quietly enough that no one would notice.
Scott packed the device away, grabbed his training gear, and headed for the door. As he passed Beth, he pulled her close one more time, kissed her affectionately, and gave her a playful, firm smack on the butt. "See you later, honey."
"Scott!" Beth laughed and rubbed the spot, and her eyes flicked toward Toby.
"See you later, you two!" Scott called.
"See you!" Toby called back.
Then the door clicked shut.
"Ah, that's Scott for you."
"He's hard not to hear," Toby said.
"That's true." Beth laughed and gestured upstairs. "I'm gonna go get ready."
"Sure."
She gave him another smile and went upstairs, her footsteps light and completely different from Scott's energetic thudding. With nothing really to do, Toby remained standing in the living area for a while and listened as the bathroom door clicked shut upstairs. Then a moment later, he heard the shower come on.
To collect himself, he went into the small downstairs bathroom first, washed his hands, and looked at himself in the mirror. The coffee was starting to kick in, and the throbbing in his temples was easing, and as the headache faded, so did the grogginess. When he stepped back into the hall, he picked up his phone from the dresser, where it was still plugged into the charger, and dropped onto the large couch in the open living area.
With Scott gone, Toby had time to take in the quiet house with the wide couch, the wall unit, Beth's plants by the window, and the view of the patio. It was a little untidy, but cozy. And Toby sat in the middle of it all and felt that forbidden pull as he pictured Beth vulnerable on the couch, naked beneath Scott's hands and with the look she might have had last night.
The shower was still running as Toby looked toward the hall, wondering when he should leave. Probably soon. The sensible thing would have been to simply say a quick goodbye to Beth earlier downstairs, and disappear before the opportunity became a risk. But the house was quiet, Scott was gone, and Beth was upstairs in the shower. And that silence made the thought possible.
Just one look, he thought and got up.
His socks muffled his footsteps on the hardwood floor as he went into the hall and listened to the steady rush of water. To the right, the office door stood slightly ajar, and his attention went straight to the narrow strip of light between the door and the frame.
He carefully pushed the door open and stepped into Beth's small office, where traces of her were everywhere. Sketches, pens, and notes lay on the desk, and a corkboard hung on the wall, covered with loose ideas. Toby's technical curiosity instantly focused his attention on the laptop sitting open on the desk, with its screen dark.
When he stepped closer and ran a finger over the touchpad, the screen came to life. No password.
Despite the tension, he had to grin. Typical Beth, he thought. Your house, your desk... Why would you lock anything here?
The browser was open with several tabs he pretty much expected to find: art websites, forums, a pricing calculator, and a half-completed form. Toby felt intuitively what he had to do, pulled out his phone and opened the camera app. He only video recorded what was open in front of him, slowly enough that everything would be readable later, but without stopping to read any of it closely yet.
One of the tabs had Reddit open, logged in under the username LostBrush123.
Bingo! Toby deliberately kept the camera on it a few seconds longer so he wouldn't miss that detail.
Then he opened the browser history for a quick look and saw more art sites, job boards, searches, and everyday stuff.
While the shower was still running upstairs, Toby clicked through more of the history and recorded everything, but forced himself not to linger on anything for too long. Even with his heart pounding, the technical aspect of inspecting someone's private information like that felt like a rush. This is gold!
Suddenly, something bumped into his leg.
"Shit, sorry," he hissed. Toby spun around, his heart leaped into his throat, and the phone shook in his hand.
Kaya just stood beside him, wagging her tail with complete innocence after nearly aging him by several years. The medium-sized mixed-breed dog pressed her nose against his hand and moved closer, as if she had to complete some very important detective work.
"Heeey," Toby whispered, crouching down. "It's okay. You just startled me."
He scratched her head to keep her calm, though it was mostly to calm himself, while Kaya looked at him with such interest that he suddenly felt uncomfortable. He listened again and was relieved to hear that the water was still running upstairs.
The warning was enough. He closed the history, left the open tabs exactly as he had found them, turned the screen off, and gave the desk one last look.
He slipped out of the office and back into the hall, and Kaya trotted after her new playmate, apparently determined to keep him under surveillance.
Back in the living area, Toby dropped onto the couch again, his heart still beating hard. Kaya jumped up beside him at exactly the right moment and rested her head in his lap, and as he kept petting her, his heartbeat gradually slowed.
He had taken one small step. Maybe it had given him an entry point he could use later.
While calming down, he thought of a night on the patio sometime last summer. Scott had fallen asleep upstairs after too many beers, Kaya had been lying somewhere in the grass, and Beth had sat beside him with a glass of wine, reminiscing.
"I often just went along with things," she had said. "With friends, at school, pretty much everywhere. I didn't want to be the one who was a pain or ruined everything. So I nodded even when I wanted something else."
Afterward, she had laughed bitterly and pretended it was only an old story, but Toby had listened closely. He understood that side of her, the desire to be seen without having to fight for it. But he also understood how dangerous that could become when someone was patient.
And he was patient.
With that thought, an older memory returned, one from his college days that he usually tried not to think about. Back then, he had still believed in real friendship and clear lines between good and evil. It had taken him far too long to realize that some people he never would have suspected were playing dirty. In the end, he had been completely alone at a point in his life he had barely survived. He was left with the realization that control wasn't simply an ugly game other people played. You lost it when you realized too late that a game was being played at all.
He really hated all this jockeying. He hated the way people pushed each other around and used each other while pretending it was about friendship or love. Part of him still dreamed of a world where people were honest and equal, without that constant invisible hierarchy. But that wasn't the world they lived in. In this world, there was Scott's house, Beth's laptop, and the knowledge that an opportunity only benefited those who took it.
And in this world, he wanted Beth.
He wasn't even sure why Beth had come to mean so much to him. After years of turning it over in his head, the closest answer he had was that maybe it felt like a kind of restitution. For once, he wanted to be allowed to want something... and actually get it. At least, he told himself, he didn't want her as an object, even though the raw images came immediately whenever he kept his eyes closed a moment too long. He pictured her: uncertain and open to the right voice at the right moment. He imagined her giving in step by step until she believed she had been the one to set it in motion. That invisible, hidden guidance was what turned him on. Moving the line until she was on his side and no longer knew when she had gotten there.
Toby exhaled and opened his eyes.
If he moved too fast, everything would be lost. Scott, Beth, this house, and the closeness he had built over the years. After one wrong move, he would no longer be the man who understood Beth, but only the intruder he already was. So he had to wait, gather what he could, and steer things.
Then a ringtone tore him from his thoughts, and Toby lifted his head. Beth's phone lay on the coffee table, and Scott's name glowed on the screen.
The water was still running upstairs, though more quietly than before. She'll soon be done.
As the phone kept ringing, he thought about what to do about it. "Well, maybe she just forgot it outside." Toby stood up, picked up the phone, and walked to the patio. He opened the door, set it outside on the small table next to Beth's gloves, then closed the door again. With all windows closed, the house was so well insulated that the ringing was barely audible inside.
And after a few seconds, the call finally stopped. To get a feeling for how much time was left, Toby stood there and listened as the water shut off upstairs, and a moment later, a hair dryer began to hum.
He returned to the couch and sat down again. Kaya lifted her head as if she wanted to know whether something had happened, and Toby went back to petting her and forced his shoulders to relax.
Play the cards you have. Scott has the woman. I have the brains. He knew it was an ugly line, but it felt true, and that calmed him.
Then the upstairs bathroom door clicked open and light footsteps approached the stairs. Toby leaned back, pretending he had spent the entire time doing nothing but petting the dog and waiting for Beth.
At the last moment, he pulled his phone from his pocket, started recording video with an app that kept filming even with the screen off, and quickly slipped it back into his pocket.
Now he only had to stay calm.
Then Beth came into the living and dining area with her freshly blow-dried hair falling softly over her shoulders, and her cream-colored sweater hanging loosely so that one side slipped a little lower. Beneath it, the shape of her breasts showed through the fabric clearly enough that Toby deliberately looked back down at Kaya. And with her gray sweatpants, Beth looked familiar and unguarded. She smiled when she saw Toby on the couch with the dog.
"Oh God, you two look so damn peaceful."
"She likes it when everything stays quiet," Toby said, continuing to pet Kaya.
Beth came closer and sat on the wide arm of the couch, where he could smell her body wash. She looked down at Kaya, who lay completely relaxed beneath Toby's hand. "It's like you two are in your own world," she murmured.
"Maybe she's just figured out how to shut everything off."
Beth laughed, though it sounded more tired than mocking. "I could use some of that myself."
Toby glanced up at her. "You can learn to do that."
She tugged at the sleeve of her sweater. "I think I'm just too restless for that. My mind doesn't even shut off when I'm tired."
"It's not necessarily about being restless," Toby said. "Sometimes all you need is someone to guide you for a little while."
Beth raised her eyebrows. "Guide me?"
He smiled, knowing how strange it sounded. "I mean more like getting out of your own head. Like someone telling you what to do, and you don't have to decide anything, or fix or explain anything. You can just follow."
Beth let out a disbelieving laugh. "So now you want to be my relaxation coach?"
"I know, it sounds weird." Toby leaned back a little to make it seem more casual. "A few years ago, I went to a seminar through work. Stress management and team building stuff, something like that. At first I thought it was ridiculous, but there was one exercise that worked surprisingly well."
Beth looked at him curiously. "You? At a stress management seminar?"
"I was just as skeptical." He smiled. "But that's why it stuck with me. It's really just like... you sit down, close your eyes, and the other person guides you through the exercise, either by using their voice or guiding you by pressing on your shoulders, for instance. It sounds like some New Age thing. But it was really just a good way to calm down and shut your mind off."
Beth grew thoughtful and looked back at Kaya, who was still lying beneath his hand. "And that worked for you?"
"Yeah," Toby said. "Especially for me, because I usually want to control everything too. But for a few minutes, I was allowed to just breathe and follow."
The word hung between them.
Beth pulled her legs in a little and looked at him. "It sounds kind of nice... but weird too."
"It can feel that way at first," Toby said. "But it doesn't have to. If you don't like it, you can just stop." He said it calmly, treating the point as self-evident, letting Beth study him while holding her gaze.
"And you still remember how to do it?"
"More or less. Enough to show you what I mean." He made a small gesture toward her. "Given where your head is right now, it might even help. Maybe don't think of it as a solution to anything, but just a break."
Beth glanced uncertainly toward the hall, then back at him. "Okaaay," she finally said. "But this better not get weird."
Toby laughed and stood. Kaya lifted her head, then shifted onto the warm spot he'd left, letting out a little whine. "It won't," he said.
He walked around the arm of the couch and stopped behind Beth, giving her a moment to get used to him standing there. She was still sitting on the wide arm of the couch, her hands resting loosely in her lap, though her shoulders had drawn up slightly. "Get comfortable," he said warmly. "And close your eyes."
Beth still looked curious, as though she found the whole thing equally ridiculous and interesting. But when she closed her eyes, some of that playful confidence disappeared from her face. Then a dull crack sounded somewhere outside, and she flinched.
"Breathe slowly," Toby said.
He stayed behind her for another moment before touching her. She looked so unguarded sitting there that he had to remind himself not to rush anything.
Then he placed both hands on her shoulders, and Beth tensed immediately beneath his palms.
"It's okay," he said quietly. "You don't have to do anything. Just breathe."
She drew in a cautious breath and let it out slowly. Then, as though she were trying to follow his instructions, she let her shoulders sink a little beneath his hands.
Toby noticed. Let's see how it goes.
For now, he simply left his hands where they were, warm and still, giving her time to grow accustomed to their weight. Only after several breaths did he begin moving his fingers over her shoulder blades in slow, even strokes, keeping the touch deliberate enough to feel like part of the exercise rather than the touch of her husband's best friend enjoying the excuse to have his hands on her.
After a moment, Beth's head tipped slightly forward.
"That's it," he said. "Just go with it."
He moved one hand to her upper back, then slid it lower until it came to rest on her lower back. Beth shifted beneath his palm as though noticing the change, but after a second she became still again, and her breathing remained steady.
Then an image flashed through Toby's mind: Beth in front of him, following his instructions without questioning what came next. The thought hit hard enough that he felt his body react, but he shut it down before it could pull his attention away. Not now.
"Let your shoulders get heavy," he said instead. "And don't hold your head like that. I've got you."
With his left hand, he brushed her hair aside and gently guided her head forward, then eased it back again. Beth let him do it, though for a moment her lips pressed together, as if she were deciding whether to comment on how strange it felt.
Toby waited, leaving her alone with the thought.
"This is weird," she finally murmured without opening her eyes.
"At first," Toby said. "That's normal."
Then he let his hands move to her hips. He kept them flat and still, maintaining the pretense that they were only there to steady her. Beth shifted slightly beneath his hands, then caught herself again. Toby liked how quickly she was already correcting herself beneath his touch.
"Come down a little," he said. "Very slowly. I'll guide you."
Toby felt her hesitation in her back and in the way she held her breath. That's why he didn't push, but waited until she began lowering herself forward from the wide arm of the couch on her own, then followed with his hands, giving her just enough direction that she didn't have to think about where to put herself.
First one knee slid off the arm of the couch, then the other, and Beth sank into a crouch in front of it, her eyes still closed and her hands resting uncertainly on her thighs. She let out a quiet, embarrassed laugh through her nose.
"This probably looks ridiculous."
"You're not supposed to look," Toby said calmly.
She gave a faint smile, and that smile gave him room to take the next step. He placed one hand against her lower back, firmer than before, but still not rough.
"Now let yourself lean forward. Only as far as feels comfortable."
Beth stayed still, then slowly leaned forward. Her hands left her thighs and felt for the carpet, first with her fingertips, then her palms. As she shifted her weight, her sweatpants pulled tight over her thighs. Finally, she was on all fours in front of him.
Toby did nothing for a moment and looked down at her. On all fours... because I put her there.
Beth kept her eyes closed, but her fingers had dug into the carpet. Her back was tense, as though her body itself knew how much explaining this position would take.
The thought sent a deep heat through Toby. In his mind, he was already kneeling behind her. He saw his hands on her hips and saw her looking back over her shoulder, red with embarrassment and heat, while his body was already closer to hers than any exercise could explain. The impulse was so strong that he had to tense his fingers to keep from giving himself away.
Neither of them said anything for a while, leaving a slightly uncomfortable silence between them. Then Beth shifted her hips the slightest bit backward. Maybe she was only adjusting her knees to make them more comfortable on the carpet. She seemed to realize what she had done a second later, went still again, and Toby noticed.
He enjoyed this little game too much not to take his time. Beth's hair hung down along the sides of her face, allowing him to place his fingers on the back of her neck and brush them over the fine hairs there. He could see the reaction immediately as goose bumps spread across her skin and disappeared beneath the edge of her sweater. Beth's fingers pressed a little more firmly into the carpet, but she stayed in position and waited silently.
"Good," Toby said. "Just like that."
His hand moved down her back, then slowly returned to her neck in an even rhythm. He kept the movements calm and deliberate, so what was happening underneath didn't have to be said out loud.
Toby thought about the video recording still running in his pocket, then quietly pulled out his phone and filmed Beth in that position, on all fours in front of him like a little pony waiting for its next command.
He looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed caught between trust, embarrassment, and a quiet obedience she might not have described that way herself.
Carefully, he slipped the phone back into his pocket and forced himself to speak calmly.
"Keep breathing." Beth did.
Toby placed his hand against her lower back again, directly above the waistband of her sweatpants. He could feel the warmth of her body through the fabric and had to concentrate to keep his touch steady. "Come forward a little," he said quietly.
He applied just enough pressure to guide her, and after a moment's hesitation, Beth placed one hand in front of the other and slowly moved across the carpet, her eyes still closed. With every movement, he felt her back shift beneath his hand, and the position she had ended up in became harder and harder to ignore.
In the middle of the carpet, Toby stopped and took his hand off her, and Beth stayed where she was.
Her head lowered a little farther, her fingers tense against the carpet. She could have gotten up then and said she'd had enough. Instead, she stayed on all fours in front of him, so still that Toby could hear her breathing.
"If someone walked in right now," he said casually, "you'd have a lot of explaining to do."
Beth's lips twitched, and Toby thought she might open her eyes, but she didn't. "Asshole," she muttered. She still sounded half amused, but not entirely sure anymore.
"Breathe," he reminded her gently.
Beth exhaled, and just like that, she settled back into the exercise. Toby took a step back and let his gaze travel over the line of her back, the soft curve of her ass, and the tension in her arms. Again, he took his time because she couldn't see him anyway.
Then he slowly knelt behind her and held his breath so she wouldn't notice him moving. He looked between her legs and up beneath the loose sweater, where he could see her breasts, full and heavy, hanging toward the floor and moving slightly with every breath. No bra, I knew it. His cock went hard instantly, but he forced himself to stay calm.
He stood again just as slowly and kept breathing evenly so he wouldn't give anything away. He pulled out his phone once more, held it where his head had been a moment ago, recorded the view under her sweater, and put it away again.
Then he placed both hands on her hips. "Good. Now come back up slowly."
Beth moved with the pressure of his hands. First she shifted her weight back, and then her knees sank deeper into the carpet. Toby guided her out of the position until she was kneeling upright, her hands resting on her thighs and her eyes still closed.
If anything, she looked even more vulnerable that way.
Toby knelt beside her, close enough that his mouth was near her ear, and placed one hand on the back of her neck, firm enough that she could feel him guiding her but gentle enough that she had no reason to pull away.
Beth drew in a short breath as his thumb moved against her skin. Her head shifted a bit, as though she might turn toward him, but the movement stopped before she did. Instead, she swallowed and remained still beneath his hand.
The silence between them grew heavier.
"It's funny," Toby then said, "how quiet you get when someone doesn't let you have your way for once."
Beth didn't answer, but her throat moved as she swallowed audibly. She remained kneeling upright in front of him, her eyes closed and his hand on the back of her neck.
In his mind, she wore a wide collar with a leash in that exact position, and the thought of making her obedient was intoxicating.
His hand stayed on her neck for another moment, and when he took it away, Beth's shoulders dropped slightly.
Then Toby knelt behind her, close enough that she must have felt his breath on the back of her neck. Gently, he lifted her hands from her thighs, closed his fingers around her wrists, and placed her arms at her sides. Her fingers curled once, but she let him do it.
"Breathe with me, Beth," he said quietly. "In for four seconds, out for six." He inhaled audibly and waited until she followed his rhythm, haltingly at first, then more and more evenly. Four in, six out. With every breath, he hoped her attention would shift farther inward, away from the room, from wondering how she looked right then, and from him.
From behind, he reached around her and placed his hands on the insides of her thighs just above her knees, then pressed gently, enough for her to understand where he wanted her.
Beth stopped halfway through her next breath, but Toby didn't move his hands and simply waited.
Then her knees slid a little farther apart, as though she had to give herself permission first. Her hands pressed flat against her thighs as her body adjusted to the new position, and the fact that she had hesitated and then completed the movement herself sent a hot rush through him. That's how I want you... His heart beat faster, and the tightness in his pants was almost impossible to ignore. Even so, his breathing remained calm.
Four in.
Six out.
He started again at the top with the same measured rhythm. He placed both hands flat on her shoulders and left them there for exactly twenty seconds. Twenty seconds during which Beth had nothing to do but feel his hands and keep breathing.
At first, she held herself slightly stiff beneath them. Then, as though remembering what she was supposed to be doing, she consciously let some of the tension leave her shoulders.
Toby lifted his hands, placed them on her hips, and waited again for twenty seconds.
Beth's breathing grew deeper. Her thumb rubbed once along the seam of her sweatpants, then stopped.
"Good," he said. "Just like that."
He lifted his hands again and placed them on her upper back with the same calm pressure and rhythm. An uneven breath slipped out of Beth, but on the next one she corrected herself without him having to say anything. She knows the rhythm now, Toby thought.
Two more spots.
The thought sent another hot rush through him, and he had to remind himself not to speed up.
He placed his hands on her thighs near her hips and waited another twenty seconds. Beth adjusted her knees slightly, then went still again. Even so, she kept to the breathing pattern he had given her.
Four in.
Six out.
Toby lifted his hands and moved them up.
For a moment, they hovered in the air just in front of her. His pulse pounded so hard he could feel it in his fingertips. Then he placed his hands on her collarbones, and Beth immediately went even stiller.
For another twenty seconds, her breathing stayed close to the rhythm, but there was a faint tension in her shoulders now. Her hands rested motionless against her thighs. Toby kept breathing as if he hadn't noticed anything.
Four in.
Six out.
Then he lifted his hands again. Don't screw this up now.
He waited for one breath and placed them on the next spot with the same matter-of-fact ease, so they rested partly on the tops of her breasts. They were high enough that the touch still almost could have counted as part of the exercise, but close enough that the effect on Beth was unmistakable.
Her next breath stopped short. For the first time, her hands lifted slightly from her thighs, as though she might move his hands away. They hovered there for a moment before slowly settling back onto her legs.
And through all of it, Toby didn't move, leaving his hands there for the full twenty seconds.
Beth's breathing had fallen out of rhythm now, and she seemed to be trying to bring it back under control. Beneath his palms, Toby felt the small disruption he had caused inside her, and everything in him wanted more of that silent yielding, but he kept his own breathing steady.
Beth raised her head slightly. Her eyes remained closed, but when she spoke again, her voice was thin and uncertain beneath an embarrassed laugh.
"You... sure this is right?"
Toby didn't answer. He kept breathing.
Four in.
Six out.
For several seconds, Beth seemed to be waiting for an explanation that never came, until her breathing began to follow his again. Toby remained calm, as if quietly in control, while she remained on her knees.
After twenty seconds, he lifted his hands and placed them on her lower back. Beth drew a deeper breath and needed another moment to settle fully back into the rhythm.
Then, after the next twenty seconds, he placed his hands around her neck. He applied no pressure, and his warm fingers simply rested against her skin. Beth swallowed hard, her throat moving beneath his hand, and her pulse raced fast enough for him to feel it.
Toby held her that way for twenty seconds.
Finally, he placed his hands on her stomach and left them there until her breathing deepened again. Then he slowly drew back.
Beth remained kneeling upright, her hands resting firmly on her thighs, her eyes closed.
She really had gone along with it, Toby thought, slightly amazed.
"You're taking this so well," Toby said.
Beth lowered her head, and an uncertain smile crossed her face. "Oh," she said softly. "Good."
Something about the answer hit Toby harder than he expected.
He leaned closer until his voice was right at her ear. "Lie down," he said.
Beth hesitated for a moment, then lifted her hands from her thighs and slowly lowered herself forward. First she braced herself on her hands, then lowered herself farther until she was lying on her stomach. Her head was turned to the side, her eyes still closed, and her cheek rested against the carpet. Her breathing was audible but calmer than before.
Then Toby sat down beside her. With his left hand, he stroked her hair and then her back. He moved his hand down over her legs and back up again, steadily enough that it still seemed like the exercise was winding down.
His cock was hard inside his pants, and he could feel the precum soaking his underwear. Staying calm this close to her was almost impossible. For a moment, he pictured himself over her again. He saw himself ripping down her sweatpants and pressing his cock into her sweaty pussy, saw how easy it would be to destroy everything now. But of course, the real world had the annoying habit of being more complicated than that.
Toby lay down close enough beside her that she must have felt his presence. Beth exhaled but didn't open her eyes. He propped himself up on one elbow and placed his hand around her neck again, without pressure.
She swallowed beneath his fingers, and he felt her pulse.
"It has nothing to do with restlessness," he said quietly. "Just guidance."
Beth's breath caught briefly, then settled back into the rhythm.
Toby placed his hand flat on her back and stayed that way for a while.
"You don't have to get up right away," he whispered. "You can stay with the feeling a little longer."
Beth remained where she was, still not opening her eyes. There was something on her face that Toby couldn't quite identify. It could be embarrassment, exhaustion, or confusion. Or maybe she was simply trying not to think yet about what had just happened.
After a while, he pulled away from her and rose without a sound. He went into the hallway, gathered his things, and took the phone from his pants pocket. With quick movements, he sent the videos to his email address, deleted them from the phone, and placed it back on the dresser.
Then he gave Beth one last look. She still lay there motionless on the carpet, in the aftermath he had left her with, which she now had to sort through alone.
Eventually, as quietly as possible, Toby opened the front door and disappeared without saying goodbye.
----------
Toby sat in front of the screen and pressed the headphones tighter against his ears. In the audio software, the recording's waveform stretched out before him like a map with a secret hidden somewhere on it. He had reached the point where he'd left Beth, after guiding her calmly, and now he wanted to know what had happened afterward.
He hit Play, and at first, all he heard was static. Then came a faint click, the sound of the front door, and his last footstep as he left the house. After that, everything went quiet, except for the refrigerator humming in the background.
For a while, nothing really happened, and Toby held his breath. Then he heard fabric softly rustling against the carpet, and he leaned closer to the screen. In his mind, he saw Beth the way he'd left her on the floor, still soft from the exercise and not quite back to herself yet.
A shaky sigh broke the silence, and Toby immediately felt his body react. It sounded raw and bewildered, as if Beth were feeling something she couldn't make sense of yet.
"Beth," he whispered.
He heard more rustling, and then he heard her swallow. He pictured her rolling onto her side, perhaps wrapping her arms around herself.
"Oh my God..." Beth breathed, and Toby froze.
The words were so quiet that he thought he'd imagined them, so he skipped back a few seconds and listened to that part again.
"Oh my God..."
After a pause, she said even more quietly: "What am I doing here?" Beth's voice sounded shaky and lost.
Toby's fingers dug into the armrest and he grinned, but underneath, he was nervous. What was she really thinking?
The recording grew quieter again, and for several minutes, all he could hear was her breathing, uneven at first, then shallower, until it settled. Toby waited, but he didn't hear anything else definite.
"That's it?" he muttered. The disappointment dulled his arousal, but not his curiosity. He moved the cursor farther along the waveform, searching for places that weren't completely silent. Probably later.
About twelve minutes later, the waveform gave away that there must have been a louder sound. He put the cursor in front of it and hit Play again.
"... pfft... prrrt..."
Toby frowned, but then smiled as soon as he understood what he'd just heard. Your healthy bodily functions make you even more attractive to me, he thought and laughed to himself. Then he went farther along the waveform.
About half an hour later, a regular pattern caught his eye, with quiet stretches followed by more pronounced spikes over and over. Toby clicked at the start of the section and hit Play.
At first, all he heard again was static, so he did a quick noise-reduction pass, turned up the volume, and pressed the headphones against his ears.
Then he heard her.
"... hhh... haaah... hhh... haaah..."
An inhale, a pause, an exhale.
Toby sat perfectly still.
Again an inhale, then an exhale.
His heart nearly stopped when he realized what he was hearing.
"... hhh... haaah..."
Four seconds in. Six seconds out. "That's our breathing," he whispered, and the thought hit him like an electric shock.
Another breath. Four in. Six out.
Then came a faint sound, barely more than a noise in her throat.
Toby closed his eyes. "Fuck, Beth," he breathed. "You still feel it."
The recording continued, and she kept the rhythm for a while before her breathing grew more uneven. Then the fabric rustled, and between the sounds, he heard wet noises that no longer sounded like relaxation. Toby didn't move, but held the headphones tightly against his ears as the hot, forbidden insight spread through him.
Oh my... She was touching herself.
Toby felt his cock harden as the realization sent another rush through his entire body. I'd stayed inside her.
Then another sound came through the headphones, soft and urgent, followed by a quick exhale. "Ooahh..." Toby leaned forward hungrily, even as the force of it startled him.
Not Scott, he thought. I was in you.
Suddenly, he stopped the recording and tore the headphones off his head. He just sat there, his mouth open and his hands still tense.
"Fuck," he said. The exercise had been one thing, but this meant more. I'm in her head, he thought. His triumph was immense, but beneath it lay panic. If someone found the recording, or Beth herself realized what he had done, everything would be over.
Toby looked at the waveform. He knew himself well enough. He wouldn't stop.
After that, he listened only in bits. He planned to go through the gaps more carefully that evening, but first he fast-forwarded to Scott's return.
Even through the recording's static, the mood between them on the couch was uncomfortable. Scott's voice sounded like he knew something was off, while Beth gave short answers.
Toby grimaced. That could have gone really wrong. He needed to proceed more carefully. Beth couldn't feel pressured, and Scott couldn't be given any reason to think there was anything to notice. "Back to being the good friend for now," Toby muttered.
Then he fast-forwarded deeper into the night. The waveform grew calmer until it suddenly became irregular again. Shortly after one, it showed small spikes, and Toby clicked Play.
He heard keyboard clicks coming through the headphones. Someone was typing unevenly, pausing, and typing some more. Toby frowned and listened.
Then he heard a soft sigh. Beth. It didn't sound like work. It sounded too agitated for that.
Toby leaned back. Could be she was writing something personal. Could be something online.
He pictured her laptop. Reddit. The username he'd caught on video.
LostBrush123.
Toby took off the headphones and looked at the screen. A new, calmer smile spread across his face.
Perhaps it was time to stop just guessing what was going on inside her.
. And the next chapters already move more into Scott's POV, with him slowly starting to notice things he can't quite put his finger on yet. And yeah, some of this is inspired by my own life, which makes it a little painful to write.