Getting close?

[AZguy425]

Man, this last update was somewhat rough!

I may be way off on this, but here are my thoughts. Your wife has indulged a lot with your desires including going to LS type places. She has been two steps forward and then maybe a step back, but I really sense from her statements to you that if its the right time and place and circumstance then she is willing to do it. I think she is willing to consider 'D' because he's the one you started with and I think it seems to you that he is maybe the most viable and easy path. It also seems like her stepping back occurs primarily after you've had sex with her.

But here's the thing...you've introduced this idea with her and 'D' but you've also done it in the spirit of "getting to know each other". This is fine, but it puts 'D' in a position where he is now trying to woo his way between your wife's legs...and frankly he doesn't seem good at it. He won't pay for meet-ups, he sends ill-advised dick pics when he can barely get a kiss out of your wife, and he doesn't seem to be much of a seducer. It just seems like she is trying to make it work with 'D' primarily for you and likes the attention and the pursuit, but that he is just not very smooth.

On the other hand, she seems to have a definite and defined interest in BBC. Maybe that doesn't have to be a situation where she has to be wooed into sex, but rather just a lusty seduction. You might actually get some progress if you got her to places where a BBC can try and seduce her and not woo her. You should tease her and work her up and have her watch the porn she likes about it, but don't have sex with her for a little bit before taking her someplace where she can flirt with strangers. I'm not saying it would end in full blown sex right off the bat, but if someone can buy her a drink, and talk to her, touch her leg, whisper in her ear, kiss her, maybe further then it would still be considerably more progress than 'D' trying and failing miserably to woo her into sex.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

I cannot disagree with your wife for feeling disappointed.
The fact that D failed to offer to pay for their coffees until it was a moot point, left her with a very clear idea of the kind of person he is.
Moreover, his disinterest in engaging in an MFM, which your wife was interested to explore, further degrades D's standing as a potential lover.
He is solidly in her "Loser" list at this point, and I doubt there is any interest on your wife's part to delve into that any further.

Thanks, BallSpanking. I think “D” was on board with a mfm, but I think you are right that he is not likely to ever experience it with my wife. It’s a shame because he is otherwise a guy we both trust. C’est la vie!

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Man, this last update was somewhat rough!

I may be way off on this, but here are my thoughts. Your wife has indulged a lot with your desires including going to LS type places. She has been two steps forward and then maybe a step back, but I really sense from her statements to you that if its the right time and place and circumstance then she is willing to do it. I think she is willing to consider 'D' because he's the one you started with and I think it seems to you that he is maybe the most viable and easy path. It also seems like her stepping back occurs primarily after you've had sex with her.

But here's the thing...you've introduced this idea with her and 'D' but you've also done it in the spirit of "getting to know each other". This is fine, but it puts 'D' in a position where he is now trying to woo his way between your wife's legs...and frankly he doesn't seem good at it. He won't pay for meet-ups, he sends ill-advised dick pics when he can barely get a kiss out of your wife, and he doesn't seem to be much of a seducer. It just seems like she is trying to make it work with 'D' primarily for you and likes the attention and the pursuit, but that he is just not very smooth.

On the other hand, she seems to have a definite and defined interest in BBC. Maybe that doesn't have to be a situation where she has to be wooed into sex, but rather just a lusty seduction. You might actually get some progress if you got her to places where a BBC can try and seduce her and not woo her. You should tease her and work her up and have her watch the porn she likes about it, but don't have sex with her for a little bit before taking her someplace where she can flirt with strangers. I'm not saying it would end in full blown sex right off the bat, but if someone can buy her a drink, and talk to her, touch her leg, whisper in her ear, kiss her, maybe further then it would still be considerably more progress than 'D' trying and failing miserably to woo her into sex.

Thanks, AZ! Wooing is clearly not “D’s” strong suit. Good guy, but if I were in his shoes, I would have sprung for the coffee! :-)

As is often the case, I get mixed messages from my wife. I agree that she gets extremely turned on by BBC porn, especially threesome and gangbang varieties involving Asian women, and we talked about that last night (at about 1:30 AM, in fact). Oddly enough, she said last night (after her orgasm) that she didn’t think that BBC turned her on! And yet, I have seen enormous evidence to the contrary. Of course, I did not challenge her when she said that. I just reaffirmed that I want her to feel pleasure - whatever that may entail.

You may be right that a “lusty seduction” will be what it will take for her to take the plunge. When she gets turned on, it really is like a switch is flipped in her mind, and a good seduction may be the key. Thanks again for your thoughts.

[Midnight Joker]

I see this as <insert excuse here>. D just isn't pushing her buttons enough to make her take the leap, so when an excuse to bail happened, she took it. Just like she has every time. Not a criticism, just an observation.

Everyone keeps pushing the BBC fetish, but I doubt the color of a penis will have any real effect on her decision to proceed. From what it seems, she is partially open to having sex outside of marriage, and it will probably happen if all the stars align...and when you least expect it. Because women are notorious for thinking about all the possible angles of what could go horribly wrong, chances will be better when she feels safe, relaxed, and probably not at home or with someone familiar.

[setv4]

I cannot disagree with your wife for feeling disappointed.
The fact that D failed to offer to pay for their coffees until it was a moot point, left her with a very clear idea of the kind of person he is.
Moreover, his disinterest in engaging in an MFM, which your wife was interested to explore, further degrades D's standing as a potential lover.
He is solidly in her "Loser" list at this point, and I doubt there is any interest on your wife's part to delve into that any further.

Thanks, BallSpanking. I think “D” was on board with a mfm, but I think you are right that he is not likely to ever experience it with my wife. It’s a shame because he is otherwise a guy we both trust. C’est la vie!

'D' definitely blew being a 'Gentleman' seducing a future Hotwife, a Gentleman 'dating' a woman should be paying at least 80% of the time, and offering to pay 100% of the time.
After saying that, your Wife still seems willing to forgive his 'not paying transgression', and continue interacting with him, on a limited basis.
He should at least apologize directly to her & possibly offer to take her to and upscale restaurant and paying for it to make-up for being such an 'Ass'.

But don't stop looking elsewhere for someone else

[curious42too]

Bummer on D! I pay every time if I am with a woman or women.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

I see this as <insert excuse here>. D just isn't pushing her buttons enough to make her take the leap, so when an excuse to bail happened, she took it. Just like she has every time. Not a criticism, just an observation.

Everyone keeps pushing the BBC fetish, but I doubt the color of a penis will have any real effect on her decision to proceed. From what it seems, she is partially open to having sex outside of marriage, and it will probably happen if all the stars align...and when you least expect it. Because women are notorious for thinking about all the possible angles of what could go horribly wrong, chances will be better when she feels safe, relaxed, and probably not at home or with someone familiar.

Those are fair observations, M.J. I do think that she will probably take the plunge eventually. I also think that someone is going to have to seduce her. Funny enough, for the first time the other night, when I asked her what kind of man she thought she would prefer when it started to look that like ”D” is not a viable candidate, she said, “a bad boy”! That came entirely out of left field. I asked her if she could give me an example, and she said it was a white American actor who apparently died a few years ago in a car accident. She said he was in his 40s, but she could not remember his name. Do any of you have any idea who she might be thinking about? I have not had a chance to search for that yet, but I intend to do so.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Bummer on D! I pay every time if I am with a woman or women.

I’m like you, Curious. I have always assumed that, as a man, I will pick up the tab for a female companion. This particular website may not advocate for a traditional way of courtship, but some things are pretty immutable - such as paying the bill. And that is without any thought of sex in exchange.

Oh well. “D’s” loss, apparently.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

I see this as <insert excuse here>. D just isn't pushing her buttons enough to make her take the leap, so when an excuse to bail happened, she took it. Just like she has every time. Not a criticism, just an observation.

Everyone keeps pushing the BBC fetish, but I doubt the color of a penis will have any real effect on her decision to proceed. From what it seems, she is partially open to having sex outside of marriage, and it will probably happen if all the stars align...and when you least expect it. Because women are notorious for thinking about all the possible angles of what could go horribly wrong, chances will be better when she feels safe, relaxed, and probably not at home or with someone familiar.

Those are fair observations, M.J. I do think that she will probably take the plunge eventually. I also think that someone is going to have to seduce her. Funny enough, for the first time the other night, when I asked her what kind of man she thought she would prefer when it started to look that like ”D” is not a viable candidate, she said, “a bad boy”! That came entirely out of left field. I asked her if she could give me an example, and she said it was a white American actor who apparently died a few years ago in a car accident. She said he was in his 40s, but she could not remember his name. Do any of you have any idea who she might be thinking about? I have not had a chance to search for that yet, but I intend to do so.

Paul Walker of Fast and Furious fame?

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

P.S. I solved my wife’s fantasy “bad boy”: Paul Walker, of the Fast & Furious movies. Thank you, ChatGPT! I learned something new tonight. And, my wife also admitted tonight that not only did he make her horny, she also gets horny from pictures and videos one of our colleagues here has been kind enough to share. I could tell she liked the pictures, but this was the first time she said they made her horny! Paul Walker is white; the pictures our colleague shared have been of his wife with various black guys.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Bummer on D! I pay every time if I am with a woman or women.

I’m like you, Curious. I have always assumed that, as a man, I will pick up the tab for a female companion. This particular website may not advocate for a traditional way of courtship, but some things are pretty immutable - such as paying the bill. And that is without any thought of sex in exchange.

Oh well. “D’s” loss, apparently.

I'm beginning to think that when it comes to women, "D" has the mental capacity of an adolescent 7th grader.

[hwlurker88]

It appears that the growing vocal concensus is that trying to have D be the guy is actually hurting your chances of this ever happening. Time to pull up the anchor and find another place to fish.

[Tryn]

I think it’s clear that D doesn’t have the ability to move beyond friend zone. Keep him as a friend, but count him out for him helping your wife to move beyond her current stage. She likely needs an assertive, direct, gentlemanly personality that can make her laugh a little, feel safe, but also “be a man.” Why not go on a LS app, either together or separately, and find a guy who understands that step 1 is building a friendship with the two of you? If they aren’t willing to do that, your wife isn’t going to be willing to have sex with them.

[Midnight Joker]

I see this as <insert excuse here>. D just isn't pushing her buttons enough to make her take the leap, so when an excuse to bail happened, she took it. Just like she has every time. Not a criticism, just an observation.

Everyone keeps pushing the BBC fetish, but I doubt the color of a penis will have any real effect on her decision to proceed. From what it seems, she is partially open to having sex outside of marriage, and it will probably happen if all the stars align...and when you least expect it. Because women are notorious for thinking about all the possible angles of what could go horribly wrong, chances will be better when she feels safe, relaxed, and probably not at home or with someone familiar.

Those are fair observations, M.J. I do think that she will probably take the plunge eventually. I also think that someone is going to have to seduce her. Funny enough, for the first time the other night, when I asked her what kind of man she thought she would prefer when it started to look that like ”D” is not a viable candidate, she said, “a bad boy”! That came entirely out of left field. I asked her if she could give me an example, and she said it was a white American actor who apparently died a few years ago in a car accident. She said he was in his 40s, but she could not remember his name. Do any of you have any idea who she might be thinking about? I have not had a chance to search for that yet, but I intend to do so.

From an earlier post of yours, I don't think it was the BBC videos, but the threesome that happened to have BBC in it, that turned on your wife. It is very difficult (not impossible) to find good cuckold videos that aren't pushing the BBC fetish genre. My tin foil hat alter-ego thinks that is by design, but that's for a different thread/argument. Personally, I'm not into it and don't encourage my wife in that direction. Bigger question is, are you a part of that threesome in her fantasies?

That being said, the Paul Walker bad boy desire on her part is very telling. For her affair, she's not looking for a friend (D) or a safe and loving man (you). She wants a bit of domination and to be naughty that the bad boy can provide for her. You're the rock she'll come back to. The bad boy is the one that will allow her to experience a side that she can't, or more likely won't, show to you.

Hold on for your life because I think once that door is opened, you're in for a hell of a ride! (in a great way, of course).

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

I see this as <insert excuse here>. D just isn't pushing her buttons enough to make her take the leap, so when an excuse to bail happened, she took it. Just like she has every time. Not a criticism, just an observation.

Everyone keeps pushing the BBC fetish, but I doubt the color of a penis will have any real effect on her decision to proceed. From what it seems, she is partially open to having sex outside of marriage, and it will probably happen if all the stars align...and when you least expect it. Because women are notorious for thinking about all the possible angles of what could go horribly wrong, chances will be better when she feels safe, relaxed, and probably not at home or with someone familiar.

Those are fair observations, M.J. I do think that she will probably take the plunge eventually. I also think that someone is going to have to seduce her. Funny enough, for the first time the other night, when I asked her what kind of man she thought she would prefer when it started to look that like ”D” is not a viable candidate, she said, “a bad boy”! That came entirely out of left field. I asked her if she could give me an example, and she said it was a white American actor who apparently died a few years ago in a car accident. She said he was in his 40s, but she could not remember his name. Do any of you have any idea who she might be thinking about? I have not had a chance to search for that yet, but I intend to do so.

Paul Walker of Fast and Furious fame?

BINGO!

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

It appears that the growing vocal concensus is that trying to have D be the guy is actually hurting your chances of this ever happening. Time to pull up the anchor and find another place to fish.

I think you are on to something HWL. I just returned from a fishing trip. :-)

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

I think it’s clear that D doesn’t have the ability to move beyond friend zone. Keep him as a friend, but count him out for him helping your wife to move beyond her current stage. She likely needs an assertive, direct, gentlemanly personality that can make her laugh a little, feel safe, but also “be a man.” Why not go on a LS app, either together or separately, and find a guy who understands that step 1 is building a friendship with the two of you? If they aren’t willing to do that, your wife isn’t going to be willing to have sex with them.

I agree, Tryn. I think my wife needs a gentleman, but with a bad boy streak. Or, maybe a bad boy who can also be a gentleman! I think we will figure it out eventually. Thanks for your thoughts!

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Quick update: We are heading out of state tomorrow for a three day trip to visit with family. I looked at our SLS account, which is almost never opened, and was greeted by a lot of unread messages. I also searched SLS for single males in the area where we will be going. I found three profiles, all of whom were for black guys who are looking for mfm. I was not focused only on one color, so to speak. But, it so happened that all three of these guys are very close to where we will be staying, their profiles were well written, and they all had experience with hotwives.

I showed my wife their profiles and she looked carefully at their profiles. But, she then caught herself and insisted that she was not attracted to black men. I accepted her statement without question, and then pointed out that one of the three men has been to Thailand many times and continues to go two or three times each year to go diving (and probably some other hobbies, I assume). That seemed to pique her interest a bit. I don’t know if she will be interested in meeting the Thai traveler, but I will let you know.

Also, we were contacted by several other men after that on SLS. I showed my wife two of their profiles. Both white guys. One about 60 years old in phenomenal shape; the other was about 35, also in phenomenal shape. As to each of these two profiles she exclaimed, “Oh wow, wow!” I have proposed that we try to meet them for coffee or a drink. She hasn’t said no to that, at least not yet!

Last night we watched a new movie featuring a middle-aged Asian woman and two black guys because, in spite of what my wife said the prior night, I know that gets her very excited. Amazingly, after she orgasmed and we were relaxing in bed, she told me that one of two guys reminded her of the black electrician who had been at our house a couple of times recently and she said she imagined that was him and her!

Go figure. Thankfully, the door continues to open, ever so slowly. :-)

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

That door you refer to reminds me of those old school kitchen doors from the 50's and 60's.

You remember those?

It opened both ways and swung back to closed when idle.

That's your wife.

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

That door you refer to reminds me of those old school kitchen doors from the 50's and 60's.

You remember those?

It opened both ways and swung back to closed when idle.

That's your wife.

That’s a pretty good (and funny) analogy, CCG! To the best of my knowledge, my wife only swings one way, but that remains to be seen.

[setv4]

Quick update: We are heading out of state tomorrow for a three day trip to visit with family. I looked at our SLS account, which is almost never opened, and was greeted by a lot of unread messages. I also searched SLS for single males in the area where we will be going. I found three profiles, all of whom were for black guys who are looking for mfm. I was not focused only on one color, so to speak. But, it so happened that all three of these guys are very close to where we will be staying, their profiles were well written, and they all had experience with hotwives.

I showed my wife their profiles and she looked carefully at their profiles. But, she then caught herself and insisted that she was not attracted to black men. I accepted her statement without question, and then pointed out that one of the three men has been to Thailand many times and continues to go two or three times each year to go diving (and probably some other hobbies, I assume). That seemed to pique her interest a bit. I don’t know if she will be interested in meeting the Thai traveler, but I will let you know.

Also, we were contacted by several other men after that on SLS. I showed my wife two of their profiles. Both white guys. One about 60 years old in phenomenal shape; the other was about 35, also in phenomenal shape. As to each of these two profiles she exclaimed, “Oh wow, wow!” I have proposed that we try to meet them for coffee or a drink. She hasn’t said no to that, at least not yet!

Last night we watched a new movie featuring a middle-aged Asian woman and two black guys because, in spite of what my wife said the prior night, I know that gets her very excited. Amazingly, after she orgasmed and we were relaxing in bed, she told me that one of two guys reminded her of the black electrician who had been at our house a couple of times recently and she said she imagined that was him and her!

Go figure. Thankfully, the door continues to open, ever so slowly. :-)

Hope that You both are having a Good Time

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Thanks for your good wishes, Set!

Nothing happened on our trip out of state to meet with family. We were too busy with family stuff, which is fine since that is our priority. But, we did talk further about the guys (and one couple) we saw on SLS. For a little while, I thought she might be interested in at least a meet and greet. But this morning my wife said she is not ready to meet anyone. That is too bad because one of the many guys who reached out to us seemed quite personable and is a trained massage therapist with experience in tantric massage. I was hoping she might accept a massage from him. In addition, an attractive, nice older couple who live close by wanted to meet as well. The husband of that couple said his wife is into hotwifing and he acts as a bull for other couples. He also has a couple of other guys who take care of his wife and he said they would be happy (I bet!) to take care of my wife as well.

All of that will have to wait for now. Who knows? My wife may have a more favorable reaction tomorrow!

[william70]

Maybe a dinner date with the bull and his hotwife for the sole purpose to be able ask questions and get straight forward answers about hotwifing.

[setv4]

Thanks for your good wishes, Set!

Nothing happened on our trip out of state to meet with family. We were too busy with family stuff, which is fine since that is our priority. But, we did talk further about the guys (and one couple) we saw on SLS. For a little while, I thought she might be interested in at least a meet and greet. But this morning my wife said she is not ready to meet anyone. That is too bad because one of the many guys who reached out to us seemed quite personable and is a trained massage therapist with experience in tantric massage. I was hoping she might accept a massage from him. In addition, an attractive, nice older couple who live close by wanted to meet as well. The husband of that couple said his wife is into hotwifing and he acts as a bull for other couples. He also has a couple of other guys who take care of his wife and he said they would be happy (I bet!) to take care of my wife as well.

All of that will have to wait for now. Who knows? My wife may have a more favorable reaction tomorrow!

Don't you need an outlet replacement or two soon?
Have him check for some unusual wetness near something (someone) turned-on. Maybe 'He' can put that 'Wetness' to good use, lol

[AdventurousCoupleAA]

Maybe a dinner date with the bull and his hotwife for the sole purpose to be able ask questions and get straight forward answers about hotwifing.

Thanks, William. I think that would be great - if I can get my wife to agree to it. So far, she says she does not want to do so, but that could change. :-)