Reignite the Flame

[BallSpanking]

I find it interesting that Sophia was tempted to give in to Todd.
If he is still in school the upcoming semester and not yet married, I think they will renew their affair. Clearly, Sophia enjoys sex with him.
Otherwise, I hope S picks up where she left off last semester, with lots of flirting, and cultivating even better possibilities.

[Tryn]

Glad to hear you’re doing better! You really need to get in and see your doctor. It’s not weakness to seek out help! There are real changes that often happen to men as we age. Women have perimenopause and menopause. Many men have changes in their mid 40’s to around 50. It’s not talked about like the changes women experience, but they are just as real.

[Midnight Joker]

On me, I wish I could tell you that I’ve lost twenty pounds and conquered the world but in reality, it's a slow start. Trying to get some discipline around diet, alcohol and exercise. I’m at least seeing patterns of when I get weak. Late afternoon snacking. Needing a drink to deal with certain circumstances is something I should work on. Getting into an exercise routine has been rewarding although I am progressing slowly to avoid injury.

I'm with you on that! But with anything, one day at at time. Even the pyramids started with the first stone.

Looking forward to school starting again!

[coastalkid]

It's clear that you aren't going to embrace or draw pleasure from feelings of inadequacy. That said, it's inherent upon you to minimize them. Your pleasure will come from being a viable part of WHATEVER journey you and your wife are on. To get there you're going to need to put yourself as a priority with your goal being a relevant partner, not just a support. You'll enjoy more and you'll diminish your feelings of inadequacy when you are at your best!

Despite ANY feelings of physical inadequacy that you can not do anything about, you will be able to control and dismiss them MUCH better and well equipped to address them when you feel good about yourself. Otherwise you will spiral into self doubt. Even if your paths look like they are diverging BOTH of you should want to see each other happy and you'll be your happiest when that feeling is shared! Fun is more fun when it is shared and not just witnessed.

[scaryflyer]

QuietHope,

Thanks for your update.

So Sophia met up with Todd and Karim, nothing wrong with that especially as it was away from your home. Interesting Todd wants to continue a relationship with Sophia even though he’s just got married I doubt his new wife would be happy. I can understand why Sophia didn’t want to continue, even though they have strong chemistry, it would mean the relationship was out of her control with Todd having a wife, adding another dimension to complicate things.

He tried the old “just one more time” trick to persuade her without success but he did get her horny for you and I hope she cooled down after you serviced her orally

Sophia does seem concerned about your health issues and her sensitivity towards this was probably a factor in her turning Todd down. She knows she can, with your blessing anytime, but at what cost to you and her family, this must be the most important factor to her.

As for your health the hardest part is recognising there are issues, identifying the causes and making changes. You have successfully done this and started on your journey to make changes. You’ve started a training regime, the most important part is consistency, the other changes you can implement in stages

[BallSpanking]

Bump

[QuietHope]

Ballspanking-its like you sense when I'm about to send an update...


I’ve been a little more delayed than usual in disclosing this. I don’t really understand why I feel a little embarrassed or reluctant to tell you about this but she hooked up with a former classmate of hers. She seems kind of unhappy about it so I think that’s the issue.

I mentioned that she went to a reunion weekend back in June and that four former classmates who live in our area had reached out to her afterwards. She acted like it was nothing but of course, it was something. I have since learned that those four guys have been friends since college and are all more-or-less single. One a perpetual bachelor, two are divorced and the fourth is separated and going into divorce. They were athletes in school, hard partiers, frat bros and not the types of guys that Sophia was interested in back in college. She remembers them because everybody knew them.

She had been texting with all four of those guys in addition to a few other alumni, including women, with discussion of a group get together. At one point, I thought we were going to host a party but they couldn’t settle on a date and it seems to have fallen apart. But one of the divorced guys, Peter, was a little more persistent and they arranged to meet for dinner. He lives in a small town nearby. He’s a physician but has some side project that he said he wanted Sophia to potentially help him with.

When she went out, she downplayed it and I kept my expectations low. She was wearing a jean skirt and one of those loose summer tops that could either be loose around the neck and shoulders or pulled down a bit to show bare shoulders and cleavage. It was the former not the latter when she left. Nothing overtly sexy. Appropriate for the weather and very casual. Hair was up which I think looks good on her.

They sat outside and sat beside each other at a picnic table watching people go by. They did the normal conversational catch up. They talked about their kids and mutual friends etc. They had wine. He then invited her back to his place for dessert. He said that his son would be coming over to spend the night after he finished his shift at work so they wouldn’t be alone long. She followed him to his home, less than ten minutes drive away.

He has a beautiful home with great views. He opened a nice bottle of wine. They were sitting on an outdoor couch, looking at the view when he first put his hand on her bare knee and she let it stay. Just a few minutes later, he kissed her and she reciprocated. From there, they made out on the couch. He got his hands under her skirt and pulled down her panty. He fingered her. While he did that, he pulled down her top and sucked on her breasts. With that, she orgasmed. She enjoyed being outdoors with the view.

After that, she went down on him. Gave him a blow job. Average sized. She swallowed. He finished just in time because immediately after, his son came home. Peter’s only comment was “how did I not meet you in school.” She laughed at that. Met his son. Said good bye and left. He never asked about me. She assumes he thinks she was cheating.

Her reaction tonight was a little different than previously. She just wanted a fun thing but she felt a little bad about herself afterwards. She said she drove home asking herself why she was doing this. What is wrong with her? Isn’t her behavior abnormal for a woman her age? I did my best to assure her that she’s doing something I really enjoy and that she should enjoy, too. She looked a little uncertain.

She did give me the details and I masturbated but it wasn’t as exciting as before. I think I need her to really be excited about it.

In the days following, the other three dudes all reached out to her. We think they’re talking and she doesn’t like that.

And by the way, I’ve lost 3-4 pounds and am going to physical therapy to address an injury I’ve ignored for too long. Also, her fall semester begins soon.

[BallSpanking]

It's too bad she didn't enjoy it so much, and was second-guessing herself ...
It is easy to understand she would be bothered by this becoming a topic of conversation between the four ex-frats later on. She doesn't need that reputation.
As to your own diminished enjoyment, again, it is probably a result of the sub-par outcome of their hook-up.

I think you did well to reassure her, and tell her you approve, but perhaps there is room to underscore to her she should save herself for meetups that promise an exceptional outcome where she can be fully pleased, and there is room for expanding the relationship, like with Todd.
She deserves a Bull(s) that will please her deeply and offer her the kind of experience, physically and emotionally, that she deserves.

Go down on her sweetly, and reassure her everything is just fine, only that she deserves better.

Cheers!

[SalseroStag]

It's too bad she didn't enjoy it so much, and was second-guessing herself ...
It is easy to understand she would be bothered by this becoming a topic of conversation between the four ex-frats later on. She doesn't need that reputation.
As to your own diminished enjoyment, again, it is probably a result of the sub-par outcome of their hook-up.

I think you did well to reassure her, and tell her you approve, but perhaps there is room to underscore to her she should save herself for meetups that promise an exceptional outcome where she can be fully pleased, and there is room for expanding the relationship, like with Todd.
She deserves a Bull(s) that will please her deeply and offer her the kind of experience, physically and emotionally, that she deserves.

Go down on her sweetly, and reassure her everything is just fine, only that she deserves better.

Cheers!

I can just quote Ballspanking, she deserves better, just stay close to her and always support her no matter what

[coastalkid]

Her reaction tonight was a little different than previously. She just wanted a fun thing but she felt a little bad about herself afterwards. She said she drove home asking herself why she was doing this. What is wrong with her? Isn’t her behavior abnormal for a woman her age? I did my best to assure her that she’s doing something I really enjoy and that she should enjoy, too. She looked a little uncertain.

She did give me the details and I masturbated but it wasn’t as exciting as before. I think I need her to really be excited about it.

In the days following, the other three dudes all reached out to her. We think they’re talking and she doesn’t like that.

And by the way, I’ve lost 3-4 pounds and am going to physical therapy to address an injury I’ve ignored for too long. Also, her fall semester begins soon.

From the way you describe it and from the things she asked herself I would guess that she does have some sort of regret/reluctance. It could be any number of things or it could be a combination of things forming a "perfect storm" in her head.

When you tried to assure her that she was doing something you liked and her response was uncertain, it sounds like your affirmation doesn't carry that much influence with her. That leads me to think she isn't pleased with her perceived dual identity. It's just a guess as always, but she may think one side of that dual identity tarnishes the one she really values. Cultural values and norms place value on being a "good" wife, mother, and person. Only in places like this forum are wives/gfs valued for their sexuality. In the "real world" public discourse and disclosure about sex and sexuality is "persona non grata". Your wife knows she will not get any accolades from her sexuality. She also knows that it purely for her own self indulgence.

Extending my guess, she's had more than enough opportunity to assess whether this lifestyle has enough reward for her. I'm sure that at first the novelty alone was intriguing enough to explore it more. Now that she's gotten a good taste of it (pun intended) she's probably sorting out the positives and negatives. I'll stick to what I was worried about to begin with, she went back to school with the intention of focusing on her education and maybe she is recognizing the distraction that her new sex life brings with it. She may be assessing the cost vs benefit in how she feels about herself.

Congratulations on the weight loss! You'll only have good feelings if you can keep on track with it. I've just found out from a friend that his health insurance will cover (or mostly cover) a gym/health club membership. I think I'm going to look into that for myself. We live in a really small town and it has only one health club. If I got my membership covered by insurance I might just try it out and see if I liked it.

Has Sophia talked much about her upcoming semester? I just wonder if she avoids or is enthusiastic talking about the sex part, or if she talks about her upcoming classes or her new schedule, or (worse in my mind) that she doesn't talk much about school at all. Her state of mind and her happiness directly impact your own state of mind and happiness. I would hope and imagine that the reverse is also true. It might be wise to "coast" for a bit. Keep focused on losing weight and getting healthy. Let things sort themselves out a little and when you notice a trend or direction go from there.

These are just my thoughts and projections. I'm only reacting and I wouldn't be surprised if I was wrong about everything. I'm pretty good with being wrong. I've been married 48 years. I've been wrong a lot! I really do want what's best for you! The whole point of being here is because ALL of us want an exciting sex life whatever ever the Hell that means because it's WAY different from one person to the next!

[leggysman]

I just love this guy ^^^

[coastalkid]

Has she left for school yet?

[QuietHope]

She’s back to the school routine and it’s starting well. We’ve done this before and we did have a nice summer break. Nothing to report guy wise. Coastalkid, you’ll be relieved to hear that she’s very focused on her work. (Also, by the way, you dropped “48 years married” like it's no big thing. Wow. Congrats.) I feel like I’m mentally in a better place. Amazing how sometimes you just gotta get up and TRY.

[coastalkid]

She’s back to the school routine and it’s starting well. We’ve done this before and we did have a nice summer break. Nothing to report guy wise. Coastalkid, you’ll be relieved to hear that she’s very focused on her work. (Also, by the way, you dropped “48 years married” like it's no big thing. Wow. Congrats.) I feel like I’m mentally in a better place. Amazing how sometimes you just gotta get up and TRY.

Sounding positive! That's good!

[BallSpanking]

Good to hear from you.
It's also nice to know she is back in an environment that is conducive to her ... enjoying new experiences.
I believe college life will recharge her womanly desires. She will again be the center of attention of many eager young men.
What woman wouldn't enjoy that?

[Midnight Joker]

Round 2 of schooling will be easier now that she knows what to expect. Can't wait to read about her new adventures!

[QuietHope]

We had a nice little sex session, just the two of us and I didn’t bring up other guys although it was in my head, of course. She just said that I was looking good with my new workout and diet routine and she wanted me. I’m not sure how true that is but I appreciate that she wanted to encourage me. And it was fun, so who cares why.

She has texted some with the four alumni dudes, including Peter, but she and they all seem to be too busy.

[leggysman]

Good on ya, QuietHope. Glad to hear you're in a better place and she's noticing the change.

[Rogueuser1]

Thank you for the update - glad things are going well in your life even if the cuck side isn't burning hot right now. Take care of yourself!

[coastalkid]

That's good news all around QuietHope! I've been on the road so I'm catching up! Glad that you are feeling better about yourself and even more happy that your wife noticed your effort!

[scaryflyer]

QH,

Thanks for the update, I'm glad Sophia has noticed the change.

Keep up the good work with diet and exercise.

[AZguy425]

Great to hear the fitness routine is up and running well with good results... which your wife has obviously noted!!

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

QH is turning into a "hothubby" for his wife. Lol

Way to turn the tables dude.

[Long Lurker 34]

We had a nice little sex session, just the two of us and I didn’t bring up other guys although it was in my head, of course. She just said that I was looking good with my new workout and diet routine and she wanted me. I’m not sure how true that is but I appreciate that she wanted to encourage me. And it was fun, so who cares why.

She has texted some with the four alumni dudes, including Peter, but she and they all seem to be too busy.

QH
- The new school year awaits!!

[Midnight Joker]

We had a nice little sex session, just the two of us and I didn’t bring up other guys although it was in my head, of course. She just said that I was looking good with my new workout and diet routine and she wanted me. I’m not sure how true that is but I appreciate that she wanted to encourage me. And it was fun, so who cares why.

She has texted some with the four alumni dudes, including Peter, but she and they all seem to be too busy.

Love your journey together. She is a great wife who obviously loves you.