Jane' adventure

[caniseeu1st]

The way I see it--the fact they both agreed to meet shows their understanding that the issue at hand is actually between them...not Jane. She's seems to have been pretty open the whole time about what she wants. Quite possible everyone comes out of this with a better understanding of each other.

[3323b]

Is it no wonder that when you play with fire, you will eventually get burned?

[54321]

Dear Jane,

Wow! This stuff has covered a few pages, which shows how much feeling we have all invested in you, JH and Deron!

So everyone's talking about what works for them and what doesn't. Sounds good to me!

Every good wish,

54321

[Hotwife_Mustang]

no we didn't have sex.
i've sort of shamed them both into talking. i called deron this afternoon and said he should apologize. he called david, and they're out meeting right now.
fingers crossed

Good. They need to talk this through, outside of the role-playing. I hope they can come to an understanding and agreement that both are happy with.

[Hotwife_Mustang]

The way I see it--the fact they both agreed to meet shows their understanding that the issue at hand is actually between them...not Jane. She's seems to have been pretty open the whole time about what she wants. Quite possible everyone comes out of this with a better understanding of each other.

Well said!

[bubbajack]

Seems like the whole episode is the sort of thing people can reasonably expect to happen on a genuine Adventure - which Jane's definitely is, in case anyone was ever in doubt!

To me, "adventure" is nearly synonymous with"danger" - you can have the latter without the former, but the former without the latter is really just a vacation!

[ugcp]

I think this gets into the question of which style of relationship you have, similar to defining a BDSM relationship.

Would you consider your relationship to incorporate all this as simply a type of play (where you're a 'normal' married couple, but have some hotwife/cuckold fun now & then), or as a 24/7 lifestyle (where your entire life/relationship is under the umbrella of hotwife/cuckoldry). Which do you feel you are in? And do you agree on this?

If you both consider that your relationship is the former - that it is periodic play - then I think these events have crossed a boundary. If you're not 24/7, then in "reality" each spouse's first duty is to their spouse. If anyone (outside of play) *seriously* disrespects your spouse, then you treat them accordingly. In this case, that would be telling Deron to go fuck himself.

If you both consider that you're 24/7, then what happened just becomes a part of it all. The power dynamics is an integral part, and power struggles in any form are fair game. Personally I'm against violence (except in consenting, sexual ways), so I have a distaste for this - but it's not about what I like, it's about what you guys like.

If you 2 aren't agreed on which type of relationship this is, then you have a serious problem. Coming to a consensus is crucial, and I think doing that should become your priority.

I hope you don't consider my post one of judgement - I'm simply trying to provide a possible perspective or context, to understand how you might feel.

[jane]

i've been talking to deron this morning. he volunteered maybe he should not be involved with us anymore. i said maybe that was for the best. it's still up in the air. we were all a bit confused about boundaries i guess.
just sort of reevaluating this.

[BkkDennis]

Jane,

Please don't give up on Deron. Yes, he misunderstood the boundaries. But if you can bring him around to a Mel/Jason type of relationship, you can move to the next level and not lose the two years of investment in this relationship and all the pleasure that can come from it. David misunderstood the boundaries as well and you have the huge task of getting both of them on track to where you need them to be.

You are ultimately the one that is running this adventure. It is your fundamental nature and we all admire you for it. Go Girl!

We are all rooting for you to make this work

Your humble admirer from Bangkok - D

[DaBolts]

BkkDennis really you feel the 2 years she invested in Deron is not worth losing? What about her life invested in her family?
Some people just want to see Jane keep posting adventures no matter what the cost may be. I think this story is very hot and sexy but once one person in the main relationship is not happy then its time to evaluate the game.

[BkkDennis]

DaBolts,

You make a good point. I think we both agree that Jane has to decide where she goes from here. Only she and the the others involved know the real details. I trust she will make a wise decision based on what we have read over the past years.

[Jdotswift]

Deron volunteering to leave the relationship with Jane and her husband gives me the impression he's a pretty responsible guy who unwittingly overstepped some boundaries that nobody in the relationship was consciously aware of. UGCP summed the core issue nicely: Is the dynamic for play only or is it part of a 24/7 lifestyle? I think this is a relevant question even for people who limit themselves to a more "traditional" hotwife relationship. Where do you draw the line and how often do you consciously discuss what the boundaries actually are at any given point in time?

[DaBolts]

We can all learn a lot from this great couple. My wife and I are not close to the level of Jane and David and we have had to discuss boundaries a few times already

[mlrlyt24]

they met. i called them during it. they both apologized. some issues came to light. issues david has had, that i knew about in a way. deron seemed to realize he needed to be more sensitive to certain thing's, but he was a bit confused where the lines were drawn. maybe we all are. what's hot in bed..but not elsewhere? i don't know. i can only take it day by day with them.

It sounds as if by what you are saying... is exactly what I was getting at. I am glad for you to hear this and I hope this helps you understand my posts better.

I think you are / were on a slippery slope and maybe now it has come to be seen by all.

[HerLittleGuy]

Good. They need to talk this through, outside of the role-playing. I hope they can come to an understanding and agreement that both are happy with.

Exactly. HWM is on the mark. I'd alter this to say that the agreement needs to be something all three are happy with (I know that's what HWM meant).

When you are playing, sometimes the lines between 'play-space' and 'real-space' can get blurred. When a punch gets thrown, a little alarm goes off - Whoops! We've crossed into real-life and we're not playing anymore. Hands go up, apologies are offered, and important discussions begin. FWIW, that's where I thought Deron slipped... putting his arm around Jane after the little dust-up says he didn't hear the alarm go off. But it's been recognized and is being sorted out now.



hlg

[MrBrunetteBeth]

Actually I don't think Jane has expressed what she wants, nor do I think she has to. The guy(s) can definitely state "this is going to be what happens" and if she is down with that she goes along because .. it is hot.

Things came to a head in this situation but it has induced communication - that is the *BEST* thing about the lifestyle for me. You work out things, even the painful ones and you come out better for it. Yes sometimes you lose those that are special, too. Or give stuff up that at the time seemed important. It's called compromise.

But to have it end for Deron, who is clearly up there in importance for Jane's sexual (and otherwise) needs, at this point in time seems fairly abrupt. Given time a lot of this can ease, the players can work stuff out, contemplate what it means to move on with things vs let them go. Decisions don't have to be made NOW.

MrBB

(I know, I know, I said it doesn't matter what I think)

[Hotwife_Mustang]

Mighty quiet on this thread now...

I’m in agreement with both HLG and Mr. BB.

HLG, I was hoping that it was implied that Jane has to be in agreement, because ultimately she’s in control, as is everyone in a sub role. If Jane doesn’t like whatever happens, she has the final say and can end it. Thanks for understanding and clarifying what I was trying to articulate

My $0.02 worth as the wife in a cuckold marriage…

I agree with Mr. BB, that the communication that took place between Deron and JH was necessary. I would even say that the discussion was overdue. But in Deron’s defense, it’s unreasonable to think that the third in a relationship with a power dynamic is always going to know what to do, and is always going to say the right thing. No matter how experienced they may be, they are pushing boundaries in this new relationship, with three individuals that haven’t played this particular game together before. Someone whose role is to push the envelope is constantly “at risk”, because there frequently is an expectation that they will lead the couple. Frankly, there are few things as boring as a third in a cuckold relationship who goes along safely, never tries anything new, and lets things get stale. What may have been so intense 2 years ago for JR and me, is now pretty ho-hum. We also have a safe word – and in the situation as described, we would have used the safe word before fisticuffs broke out.

We always stay in close communication with our thirds, and over time the guys have developed a mechanism so that they know whether each other is “in role” or just themselves.

The passionate posts on this thread may be the result of hotwife husbands reacting to a cuckold scenario. While beating a third to a pulp may be a normal reaction for hotwife husbands, in a cuckold relationship, the hubby should call a stop, or use a safe word long before the need for violence. Maybe it is time for JH to start a thread “Moving to the other Side”. If he isn’t ready to acknowledge his cuckold leanings, perhaps it is time to stop playing power games and go back to plain vanilla MFM hotwifing scenarios. But from my perspective, they crossed that line quite a while ago.

Or perhaps Deron is really an a*hole, and I’m giving him too much credit. Only Jane and JH can say for sure. And the fact that the two men are talking tells me that Deron is probably a decent guy.

I agree with Mr. BB – ending the relationship with Deron may be too abrupt right now. Again, only Jane and JH know the right answer for them.

And for those who wonder, I’m not submissive. The activities and events that Jane (as a sub) has experienced with her guys aren’t really a turn on to me, but I understand the power play with the third. No one "owns" me or any part of my anatomy I can’t help but think about how difficult it is to be a good dominant third, and not just a bully.

As others have stated, this is just my opinion, and not worth the bits and bytes whose electrons I've energized through posting

(edited for grammar)

[HerLittleGuy]

HLG, I was hoping that it was implied that Jane has to be in agreement, because ultimately she’s in control, as is everyone in a sub role. If Jane doesn’t like whatever happens, she has the final say and can end it. Thanks for understanding and clarifying what I was trying to articulate

Much as I figured HWM. As is normal around here, the guys discuss; the lady decides.

[jane]

thx mustang mr.bb and hlg

[Janes Husband]

A safe word is a good idea Mustang. Frankly i might have overreacted. Well, i know i did. On the other hand Deron did too.
Not sure where this is going. The odd thing about it is i have admitted to her that a level of cuckoldry does turn me on. It's never been an overt thing, where i knew i wanted it, or was sure how i wanted it to be.
On the other hand she has poly tendencies, and i don't always get that. So it's a question of whether we can really combine those two or not. Plus, whether we should or not.

[MrBrunetteBeth]

Bottom line, JH:

Do you trust Jane? Truly Totally?

Then it is pretty easy to follow the path here

[Wistful]

So the immediate crisis seems averted, with more discussions in the offing. I'm glad David and Jane posted, and happy they are doing OK. I've found it hard to keep this thread out of my thoughts. I'd been continuing to ruminate about David and Jane, and especially Jane's willingness to declare "Deron has been the dominant man sexually in my life in the past two years, and he was stating it." Were I Jane's husband, her matter-of-fact admission here would have just killed me, a knife direct to the heart. But it didn't, and they have survived, and apparently even more so, will thrive. As Mr. Bear previously implied, there must be dimensions to hotwifing and cuckoldry far beyond my fathom. Perhaps I'll never truly understand the lifestyle. David and Jane, thank you for your continuing story. I am in absolute awe that you could and would live it and write it so well.

[MrandMrsO]

Jane and JH. I'm rooting for the two of you to keep enjoying each other in whatever way the two of you enjoy best. I don't want Jane to feel bad about an already crappy situation. With or without Deron I hope your journey is great and loving.

I came back to this thread after things had settled a bit. Reading through the last couple days of posts it seems to me (outside looking in) Deron may have over stepped his role and things got out of hand before anyone could throw up stop signs. Hopefully Jane and JH work everything out and come through this in a better place (With Jane embracing Deron and JH at the foot of the bed?) Sorry, I digress...

No matter what, I'm rooting for the Jane and Hubby over anyone else that Jane plays with.

P.S. I forget who said it but I too am distracted by Jane's ass.

[spyguy24]

I hope they are too, Henry. I'd love for either of them to come back and share that they talked everything out and they've come to a mutual understand and everything is great. That's part of what's made this one of my favorite threads among the various sites I visit. David and Jane may go through some stuff but they seem to talk it out and come back united. They're not perfect. They're not porn stars. Though, who hasn't thought of Jane like that from time to time? They're human and it shows and that's awesome! Hotwifing or no, they're kind of like a pair of heroes to me, honestly.

[Janes Husband]

We've cleared the air very well. Jane hasn't posted, i think, because of some hurtful comments that were made, some of which were sent out in private messages.