Hotwife going out alone/why is it too difficult for me?

[bubbajack]

A lot of attention and speculation is devoted here to the encrusted social conventions that hotwives have to break through mentally in the process of learning that it is possible and delightful for them to fuck guys other than their husbands. As the sedimentary layers of what we have been told crack and fall away, I am sure that the courageous women who achieve hotwife status find out many things about their own native sexuality that they never guessed were there.

The same is true, of course, for the husbands: reese and David (and, in my own perhaps less spectacular way, I) have found that the perspective changes as the adventure continues, with surprises at every step. Looking back at what I thought I would be experiencing and comparing it to the actual events, I have to say that the fantasy, however hard and spurting it made my dick in my hand (and it sure did!) was almost ridiculously shallow and two-dimensional compared to the reality.

As we have gone deeper into this experience I have met parts of my own sexual personality and potentiality that I did not know were there, and it has been, well, "interesting" would be the one word that encompasses all the varieties of what I have felt.

Still, although there have been passing moments of personal discomfort for me, they have always led to a deeper appreciation for her, for us, and for our choice to do this wonderful thing with our sex life. I cannot speak for other husbands, but I certainly would not trade a single minute of the accumulated reality for a restoration of my former fantasies!

[mrs_reese]

Well said BJ! A perfect observation!

[Aynsley]

I agree, Bubba.
Well said...and I couldn't have stated my own sentiments, any better.

[mrs_reese]

D and I are discussing Hawaii- I do think it will be too long of a vacation to be away from hubby.
He is persistent about Hawaii- I am thinking something less time consuming.
I dont think I can be away for 10 days with another man.
Hubby is my best friend.
D is just my lover.
I am afraid things may change if I am gone that long.
I dont want to mess this up!

[jane]

you have been married a long time now though. i don't think that would 'change'

[Iris777]

I have to agree that I think such a long trip is a bad idea on a lot of fronts. First, I don't think I could handle a 10 day strech with any of my playmates. One of the parts I like best with them is that they go home! It gives me a chance to miss them. I have to think that this is partially an issue because D is young and has no family responsibilities of his own, if I remember correctly.

Second, how on earth does he think you are going to explain a 10 day absence to your husband and child???

And let's not even begin to discuss being on a long plane ride with someone you are only just beginning to get to know! That could kill the whole thing right there.

Why not a long weekend in Mexico or the Carribean? I think the fact that he is pushing so hard for what he wants and isn't listening to your concerns is something that requires a conversation with him to set things straight.

[jane]

a shorter trip , like a weekend is best to start.

[funwithdick56]

i tend to agree with both Jane and Iris a nice weekend sounds much more reasonable to me also. I am also concerned that he wants you to decieve your husband

[bubbajack]

i tend to agree with both Jane and Iris a nice weekend sounds much more reasonable to me also. I am also concerned that he wants you to decieve your husband

Two questions for the reeses and anyone else who would like to weigh in:

1. What would be the difference in the likely impact on the marital relationship* between (i) a week apart when there is no expectation that the wife will be fucking (and none takes place) and (ii) a week apart when husband and wife know she will be fucking day and night?

2. What difference does it make to the hotwife couple's relationship with each other if the only person who thinks she is cheating is the fuckbuddy/lover/other man (please pick your own preferred terminology for the guy putting his dick into the hotwife).

I note that the commenters, even some fairly advanced practitioners of hotwifing, seem to be responding to the hair rising on the backs of their necks contemplating the "mrs reese takes a week's vacations with D" proposition.

Even Jane, who thought it was cool at first has backed off a bit as other expressions of caution come in.

I don't really have an answer, although my hackles rose, too. Is there something so very different about consensual fucking out of town that makes it more chance-y? Or is this the old "wife needs to be controlled by the husband" knee-jerk with which we are familiar?

Anybody?

*(hypothetical or "your")

[Iris777]

It's not the length of the time away per se. I often travel and am gone for up to two weeks. My response was based on several things. First is Mrs Reese's hesitance. She sounds uncertain of being gone for so long. The second is that it is 10 days with a man she is taking as a lover but had only just begun to get to know. What happens if, on day 3, she's had enough of him and just wants to go home. That is a long and expensive change of mind. Third, D thinks she's cheating. How is she supposed to explain that her husband agreed to a 10 day vacation to Hawaii while he's home with her child? Wouldn't he think that her husband might want to accompany her on a trip that long and that far away? And fourth, the Reese's just went through a hell of a custody scare. Would either of them want to find more fuel to give to the ex? Even if he didn't know the details, he might be a tad susspicious if she took off without her husband for a long trip.

If you take a 10 day vacation with husband, family and/or vanilla friends, everyone pretty much knows each other, how they will interact, etc. Ten days with a new lover sounds incredibly stressful! A shorter trip to give each other a taste of what it's like to travel with someone (which really distills everyones personal habits) seems a smoother way to start.

[funwithdick56]

I am wondering and I am a LS virgin if how D views the relationship is 180 degrees different from Mrs. Reece.

1. Hawaii is a very expensive trip not a normal place couples go after only knowing each other a short time
2. Wants her to decieve her husband
3. Has referred to her in front of friends as his GF with strings
4. Is single and fairly young

I know that Mrs. Reece has explained to him that she is totally committed to Mr. Reece I am not so sure D is hearing her or wants to hear her.

I do hear that Mrs. Reece is having fun and I am not trying to be a killjoy I just think that in this case shorter and closer would be better in case it isn't what she was expecting so early in a relationship.

[BallSpanking]

I guess I'll weigh in as well...

10 days=too long
D's concept of Ms Reese's hubby status=Who knows. It doesn't seem realistic, and if he really thinks a cheating wife, mother to a school aged daughter, can exit the home for 10 days on a flimsy excuse, he's either insincere, not very smart, or not very aware of reality.

My gut tells me he is very aware Ms Reese is a hotwife, or the invite wouldn't of happened to begin with. Ms Reese hasn't told him this outright, but he is likely well aware she is a HW.

Feasibility= A tough sell.
Aside from the general upheaval to everyday life that results from a 10 day absence, it can also be a hell of a long time if you start 'not being so into him' after day 3 or 4.

Ms Reese mentioned also the additional difficulty of developing feelings for him that would somehow change her home life... I don't think that is likely, unless Ms Reese is falling in love with him and hasn't told anyone that might be a danger. But from what I could gather so far, Ms Reese seems well in control of her feelings for D, and as a HW with some experience (not to mention a good head on those sexy shoulders), I get the sense she is very much IN control of the dynamics in that relationship. So I just don't see that as a risk, because Ms Reese knows very well 'when to row, and when to bail' !

[Morgan]

I agree with the general sentiment that 10 days is quite a long time with someone that you are just getting to know, and it works both ways.
D seems to be fitting the bill just now, but his access is restricted. As long as it is he will come back for more. At least it will take longer for the relationship to run its course.
The fact that he has introduced his friend to their lovemaking indicates to me at least, that he is a bit of a player. Let’s ponder the possibility that 10 days in such a sexy place might just be enough for him to become satiated and for his eye to begin to wander. Either that or he is going to completely fall in love which is a complication in it’s own way.
Be as bad as you can be Mrs. R. String him along, let him get close and then be unavailable. Make him miserable with desire for you like I am.

p.s. Isn’t it about time we all got on a first name basis with you?
p.p.s. I’m thinking of changing my name to D

[bubbajack]

Back off, Morgan, goddammit! She's mine!!

(Now, if I can just get her to be turned on by a senior citizen ... )




Oh, well - it would probably kill me, and I don't mean by inches, like reese is being "killed"- I mean much, much quicker!

God I love that woman!

[mrs_reese]

boys boys!!
BJ you are so funny!
Morgan, I do love stringing men along as much as i like them jacking off over my pics.

As for the vacation, ya'all have some good points.
The bottom line is that 10 days is too long!
If I become bored or lonely for hubby, 10 days is a long time.
Thanks Aynsley!
BS- I think you are right, D seems to be more keen on some of my hotwife ideas and activities.
He told me that if 10 days in Hawaii is too long- we can plan something else.
Morgan? 1st name basis? I like games I play sweetie

xoxo

[funwithdick56]

been 3 weeks since either have logged on been over a month for Mr.

[mrs_reese]

Everyone!
Thanks for wondering about me!
It's been a busy May/June for me.
I broke my foot about 3 wks ago, being silly!
I've been depressed and miserable as I have been in a cast and unable to move around.
I havent hotwifed in a while.
I had an argument with D and I am too stubborn I guess.
He wanted more and I told him NO.
He called me names which he regrets now, but I was so pissed off, I ignored him for a while.
We are talking again and he is eager to visit me again.
I told him "we will see" sometime next week maybe.
Hubby and I have been doing very well, I am just focusing on giving him a fun Father's Day and celebrating his BD.
He has been encouraging me to move along and forgive D, who was truly sorry!
But I am a changed girl, No longer will I kiss anyone's ass to fuck me!
NO longer will I do anything for anyone else but me!
Hubby knows not to push me too far, and for now, I am enjoying sitting on my cute butt in a cast!
I promise soon!
OK??

[jandjtnz]

Mrs.Reese U so crazy! Lol. I luv this thread and hope it lives on. I wish u a speed recovery.

[Aynsley]

Welcome back, Mrs. R.

Obviously, the clear 'solution' for D's bad behavior,
is for you to have a 'date' with D's friend (the one you had the MFM with),
but without D ...and then take pics and send them to D
(and of course, send the pics to Mr. R., as well).



Better yet, do this with D's friend while your cast is still on, and tell D, he's cut-off,
until the cast is cut-off.

[BallSpanking]

Always happy to hear from you, Ms Reese...!
I hope you catch up with your HW'ing soon!

[funwithdick56]

Get Well Soon

[bubbalapagos]

I hope you heal quickly!

[reese]

My wife asked that I write a post since it's been a while.
Her cast comes off tomorrow!
I was thinking a few weeks ago that it's been over 4 years that I initially posted at this site!
We feel a strong bond with everyone here! Even when we do not post for a while!
Reading some of the posts from yesterday, I will be sure to tell her who wished her well.

It's been a strange journey since the crap we dealt with over her ex and custody.
My wife has been up and down with hotwife play.
I have noticed a sharp drop off in desires and expectations over the past year.
She will NOT play for anyone but herself, as difficult as that was for me, there is a special satisfaction when she does play, knowing that she truly wants to be with someone!
All the years of her playing...there was always a misconnection with her...I always sensed that she was performing for "us" or for ME!

I want her to play again...I want that to happen more than she realizes...but I will be patient.
She mentioned that she wants to find another guy...that maybe her connection with D is coming to an end.
She hasnt missed him since the argument!
That's not good for D.

[BallSpanking]

Nice to hear from you Mr Reese!
In a way, Mrs Reese is finally at a place where she can finally act on her own best interests.
Even for you, it is a desirable circumstance, because you know that when she does play, she is self motivated to do so, because she is turned on, and not in order to please someone else.
Now she will be back on her feet, maybe she will get herself horizontal soon!

[Aynsley]

Hey Mr. Reese.

I do sense and see w/Mrs. Reese (as happens w/other HWs, including Iris),
a new 'place' in their HW journey. It's a place where she/they feel enough
comfort and confidence, to dip their toe in whatever situation they find
Hot and interesting...and that IS a cool thing to watch and be around.

As HW Hubbies, 'Yes', it means that 'place' probably also means we have
less influence...but as you imply, that's a trade-off well worth making.
And besides, our HWs will STILL do stuff Just for US, as they still get
a thrill from that, as well.

It sounds like you're both in a great place; cool.