"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

[geoffwithhotwife]

I've unwittingly found my way into this lifestyle recently... My wife had been sleeping with a coworker, and came out to me about it. Not a huge deal, since we had tried swinging a few years back. But then she told me she had developed feelings for him. It was hard to cope with at first, but then I found this site, and between here, and the experiences I've been having with my wife, I am completely accepting of her not only having incredible sex with him, but also for the love she has for him.
Her sex drive is now through the roof, and she has even started squirting, not just for him, but for me as well! My arousal has gone up, and our sex life has been incredible since this has happened. We were on the brink of divorce for awhile, but now, it has drawn us closer than ever before, so I now understand exactly why someone would let their wife sleep with another man!

[creamshot2112]

For me I enjoy when she has fun. We have been swingers for over two years. It's hard to find couples who all click so we started having threesomes. We just found that we both enjoy mfm more than fmf. Every time she has had fun with a playmate, she gives me the best sex. It is worth letting her have sex with other men so I can benefit from the way it turns her into the ultimate slut for my cock! The more I thought about things, the more it turned me on to think of her having a steady Boyfriend to play with and enjoy. I know that she loves me and our relationship is strong, so why not let her have fun and I get to enjoy a better sex life myself. We both can't wait until she starts dating her steady guy. She know's that she is allowed to do whatever she want's. If she wants to bring her lover(s) home and have sex in our bed, she can. If she want's to go out on a date or to a lovers house for sex, it's all good. She seems to be happy about this freedom and it has made her horny all the time. I don't even have to touch her and she's dripping wet! God I love my soon to be Hotwife!

[dali_23]

For me I enjoy when she has fun. We have been swingers for over two years. It's hard to find couples who all click so we started having threesomes. We just found that we both enjoy mfm more than fmf. Every time she has had fun with a playmate, she gives me the best sex. It is worth letting her have sex with other men so I can benefit from the way it turns her into the ultimate slut for my cock! The more I thought about things, the more it turned me on to think of her having a steady Boyfriend to play with and enjoy. I know that she loves me and our relationship is strong, so why not let her have fun and I get to enjoy a better sex life myself. We both can't wait until she starts dating her steady guy. She know's that she is allowed to do whatever she want's. If she wants to bring her lover(s) home and have sex in our bed, she can. If she want's to go out on a date or to a lovers house for sex, it's all good. She seems to be happy about this freedom and it has made her horny all the time. I don't even have to touch her and she's dripping wet! God I love my soon to be Hotwife!

That is very well put, and I agree 100% Very much the same for us.

[JamesUK]

I have asked myself this question. I genuinely love my wife we have a great relationship but, as i put on another thread, she has now got a Queen of Spades Tattoo on lower back, has been hit on and tomorrow night she is going with any black guy who hits on her. I'm bit nervous but really excited. Perhaps it's the length of time we have been together, I would prefer to her doing it with strangers than have an affair.

[SatyriasisGemini]

I wanted her to be happy and to enjoy life. Sex and love were not synomus to me. I loved her and I made love to her. I knew she loved me and she made love to me. She had sex with other men, and yes I was happy she enjoyed herself but she always came back to me to share her experience. The man she was with earlier never got to share what her and I had but she always shared what he and her had experienced with me. So...she was with me...I knew her every feeling, thought and want...was I really the one giving more than I got?

[couple_uk]

This is an obvious question which I often used to ask myself. The only answer I ever came up with is that it provides us both with a lot of sexual stimulation, pleasure and satisfaction. Of course, that is no answer at all, because the real question is "Why does it turn you on so much?"

And to that question, my HW and I have given up looking for the answer. It is like the Eastern mystics, priests and gurus trying to find the meaning of life - they reach the end of it before they know. So, we have stopped asking and accept that it's just how we are, so why not enjoy it?

[dinoo]

I wanted her to be happy and to enjoy life. Sex and love were not synomus to me. I loved her and I made love to her. I knew she loved me and she made love to me. She had sex with other men, and yes I was happy she enjoyed herself but she always came back to me to share her experience. The man she was with earlier never got to share what her and I had but she always shared what he and her had experienced with me. So...she was with me...I knew her every feeling, thought and want...was I really the one giving more than I got?

Well said.

[TriangleTangle]

This is an obvious question which I often used to ask myself. The only answer I ever came up with is that it provides us both with a lot of sexual stimulation, pleasure and satisfaction. Of course, that is no answer at all, because the real question is "Why does it turn you on so much?"

And to that question, my HW and I have given up looking for the answer. It is like the Eastern mystics, priests and gurus trying to find the meaning of life - they reach the end of it before they know. So, we have stopped asking and accept that it's just how we are, so why not enjoy it?

I don't think its mystical at all. There are literally dozens of reasons that many have articulated here and there is no single universal answer. In fact, for any one person it is more likely to be a combination of reasons, some that are related to sexual stimulation and some not. There has been much written about the subject. The reasons for the male frequently differ from that of the female. Why not enjoy it? I don't think exploring the question has any bearing on whether people that seek the core motivation are enjoying it or not - so I don't get the question or maybe better put, you are personally content not seeking it - and there is nothing wrong with that either. Maybe those that have found their own personal root cause learn something more about what drives them, and knowing helps them progress into deeper, more advanced experiences whether it be Hotwifing, Cuckolding, BDSM, Poly, couple swapping and many more forms of the 'lifestyle'. I know that is true for myself and my mate. After years of being in the lifestyle and talking to so many others, one thing is clear - individuals and couples evolve and change in their preferences and practices over time. Some know exactly why and it helps them explore with purpose and evolve into new and exciting things more consciously and some simply happen into it as they go. I find it easier as my mate and I learn and explore and evolve together guided by knowing what motivates us at the core. Neither approach is wrong and I am appreciative of all of those here that have contributed to that exploration and diversity.

TT

[anewstart150]

i dont think that man and women can stay with each other for 30 to 40 years and be totally happy. i know that some couple do stay together for that long. but for most having the same women or man for 40 years would be boring.i wanted my wife to have as much fun as possible.

[BULLmoose]

i luv being the extra male / bull / breeder etc---i enjoy having fun with the couple ---get to be friends and we enjoy his wife---- the Hotwives love to be pleased in front of their husband .It is some great times in bed and out. i have the best orgasms ~~~~When the husband is begging me to cum in his wife, and her begging as well. --so the answer is ===to enjoy life to the fullist sexually for his wife and himself.

[Buttercream]

Hi.. New to the group. I am a hotwife who also never envisioned myself in this "position". I was content to just be my husband's hot wife, but then he shared his fantasy with me... There was a lot of talking, contemplating.. questions.. We have been doing this for about 2.5 years now, started with mfm and we have tried swinging with couples, but finding 4 people who mesh is So much harder then working with singles. And to be honest, I don't find the same enjoyment he does when he plays with another partner. We have explored a bit into solo play for me and then sharing it with hubby and that has led to some of the biggest orgasims I've ever had. When in a mfm (which I love) I'm concentrating on 2 guys at once. When I'm sharing my experience with my husband while he and I are having sex.. It's like I'm having 2 types of sex at the same time. 1 is the physical sex with hubby and the other is mental sex with the partner I was just with and the combination of the 2 is So Freaking Hot! I can't really discribe it..

[QoS Couple]

For me, there are many reasons why I want my wife to sleep with other men.
Here are three of them:
The first is the taboo. Telling society what to do with itself as it believes in monogamy without racial mixing. Having seen Angie coupled to black men is the ultimate thrill as this is still a great taboo here in the U.S.A. White women still aren’t supposed to offer themselves sexually to black men. Although at 52, it’s unlikely Angie will be impregnated by one of her lovers, just seeing her receive their seed within her (perhaps?) dormant reproductive tract is a pleasure beyond description. While I’ve seen men of different races have intercourse with Angie, for both of us, the greatest thrills have been when she’s with a black man. Whenever Angie is with a black man, she insists that he cums in her vagina at least once “doggie style”, as he “shoots his seed so far in, very little gets out”.
Second, there is the “confirmation factor”, as I like to call it. That another male finds that my wife is attractive to “mate” with. If the male has also “mated” with other women, he is telling me that he finds Angie to be as attractive as those other women. This is an even greater thrill if he has impregnated other women.
Third, I’ve always enjoyed seeing Angie being pleasured sexually. Whether I’m in her or another man is, the thrill is great. That is among the greatest gifts of love that a man can give his wife: The pleasure she finds being penetrated by, and receiving the DNA of, another man.

[carbone69]

After much soul searching I agreed to accept this because
1. I have no control over her
2. I love her & it is what she wants
3. With time it has become a real turn on for me.

[LawrenceKS]

I could do the long answer or the short answer. I'll start with the short one:
My first wife, after we were married, did not take care of herself physically.
After about 2 years of marriage, I sought out an old girlfriend and
engaged in a long affair. During this time I wished my wife would be more
sexual. In fact, the wife had a book, Feeding the Hungry Heart, whose thesis
was that a woman ate so much because she was not getting quality sex.

Somewhere near the 20 year mark in the marriage, I started a role play in bed
with the wife trying to get her to visualize herself having sex with others. The
sex play went well, and she had strong orgasms during such sessions.
Circumstancial evidence tells me she tried it once with a real partner, but she
didn't like it. After a time, she didn't want to even have such fantasies in bed
because she figured out that I was hoping for her to do it in real life.

Near the 29th year of marriage, I could stand it no more and admitted to
several affairs. Being the narrow minded religious person that she was, we
soon separated and divorced. I said to myself, and others at that time, if I
ever get married again, it won't be to a woman who believes in monogamy.

It took about three years, but I finally found the woman of my dreams. After
about 4 months, her ex-boyfriend came to town and wanted her to spend the
night. She told me. My question was, "If we were not together, would you spend
the night with him?" Of course, was the answer. "Then you should do it, if it
is fun," I told her. The most scary part to me was that she forced me to
answer a point blank question: "Are you saying you want me to sleep with him?"
I took a chance and said yes. She was seriously thoughtful for the rest of
the evening and morning, and said very little upon leaving. She was NC for
the next 36 hours.

When she came back, and we had dinner, she took a long time to string out
small detail after small detail. Eventually, she admitted she spent the night
and they had sex--twice. I was really happy and releived. She was surprised,
saying, "I can't believe you are so happy! I'm the one who had sex and I'm
not even that happy."

Without making this story too long, she has continued her HW activity. And in
the process, has lost a lot of weight, taken on an attractive hairstyle, done some
facial skin work, and has been outgoing and relaxed flirty with many men.
So the short answer is that sex turns her into my ideal woman. I hope it
lasts a long time.

[Mia]

I could do the long answer or the short answer. I'll start with the short one:
My first wife, after we were married, did not take care of herself physically.
After about 2 years of marriage, I sought out an old girlfriend and
engaged in a long affair. During this time I wished my wife would be more
sexual. In fact, the wife had a book, Feeding the Hungry Heart, whose thesis
was that a woman ate so much because she was not getting quality sex.

Somewhere near the 20 year mark in the marriage, I started a role play in bed
with the wife trying to get her to visualize herself having sex with others. The
sex play went well, and she had strong orgasms during such sessions.
Circumstancial evidence tells me she tried it once with a real partner, but she
didn't like it. After a time, she didn't want to even have such fantasies in bed
because she figured out that I was hoping for her to do it in real life.

Near the 29th year of marriage, I could stand it no more and admitted to
several affairs. Being the narrow minded religious person that she was, we
soon separated and divorced. I said to myself, and others at that time, if I
ever get married again, it won't be to a woman who believes in monogamy.

It took about three years, but I finally found the woman of my dreams. After
about 4 months, her ex-boyfriend came to town and wanted her to spend the
night. She told me. My question was, "If we were not together, would you spend
the night with him?" Of course, was the answer. "Then you should do it, if it
is fun," I told her. The most scary part to me was that she forced me to
answer a point blank question: "Are you saying you want me to sleep with him?"
I took a chance and said yes. She was seriously thoughtful for the rest of
the evening and morning, and said very little upon leaving. She was NC for
the next 36 hours.

When she came back, and we had dinner, she took a long time to string out
small detail after small detail. Eventually, she admitted she spent the night
and they had sex--twice. I was really happy and releived. She was surprised,
saying, "I can't believe you are so happy! I'm the one who had sex and I'm
not even that happy."

Without making this story too long, she has continued her HW activity. And in
the process, has lost a lot of weight, taken on an attractive hairstyle, done some
facial skin work, and has been outgoing and relaxed flirty with many men.
So the short answer is that sex turns her into my ideal woman. I hope it
lasts a long time.

Welcome to OHW, LawrenceKS.



Mia

[susanshusband]

Hi.. New to the group. I am a hotwife who also never envisioned myself in this "position". I was content to just be my husband's hot wife, but then he shared his fantasy with me... There was a lot of talking, contemplating.. questions.. We have been doing this for about 2.5 years now, started with mfm and we have tried swinging with couples, but finding 4 people who mesh is So much harder then working with singles. And to be honest, I don't find the same enjoyment he does when he plays with another partner. We have explored a bit into solo play for me and then sharing it with hubby and that has led to some of the biggest orgasims I've ever had. When in a mfm (which I love) I'm concentrating on 2 guys at once. When I'm sharing my experience with my husband while he and I are having sex.. It's like I'm having 2 types of sex at the same time. 1 is the physical sex with hubby and the other is mental sex with the partner I was just with and the combination of the 2 is So Freaking Hot! I can't really discribe it..

Well said. I love a women's perspective!

[dali_23]

This is one of the best threads on OHW, and I have read so many amazing posts. My wife has one steady FB, and is looking for more, but no need to rush. For us, our sex life has spiked. She has always had a great thirst and capacity for sex, and men do have limitations. Her lover has a different skill set, and his stamina is remarkable. Last week, she after we had made love at bedtime and in the morning in which she had at least 8 incredible orgasms, she still was ready for more. She has always been a woman who only seems to wants more once she gets some....I was unable to provide this due to that pesky J-O-B. How cool is it she now (at least that day) has an option that will provide a way to satisfy this desire?

It is very fucking cool.

She gets a nice all day fuckathon and I am crazy with that crazy excitement at work knowing what she's doing. My focus and productivity probably was not what it should have been, but what the heck? Picking her up was, as always, fantastic. She has that rosy glow, a content smile, her hair a wild mess, and the unmistakable scent of sex that drives me wild....

I have a competitive nature, and as a result, her relationship has inspired me to more creative in the bedroom as well. I don't have the desire to try to be "K" but we have to returned to some B+D/S+M adventures we experimented with years ago. We will continue to explore this, and it has been suggested to me by a member of this site that I ask him to mentor me as a dom.

Since we've more dedicated to this LS, she has also lost 40 lbs, and I have followed suite and also lost some weight, watching the diets and working out. How cool is that???

Very fucking cool!

I think as we progress together and continue to explore and have new experiences, we will be able to add to this thread, but if somebody asked me the question "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man", I have answers.

[jjshare69]

Hi.. New to the group. I am a hotwife who also never envisioned myself in this "position". I was content to just be my husband's hot wife, but then he shared his fantasy with me... There was a lot of talking, contemplating.. questions.. We have been doing this for about 2.5 years now, started with mfm and we have tried swinging with couples, but finding 4 people who mesh is So much harder then working with singles. And to be honest, I don't find the same enjoyment he does when he plays with another partner. We have explored a bit into solo play for me and then sharing it with hubby and that has led to some of the biggest orgasims I've ever had. When in a mfm (which I love) I'm concentrating on 2 guys at once. When I'm sharing my experience with my husband while he and I are having sex.. It's like I'm having 2 types of sex at the same time. 1 is the physical sex with hubby and the other is mental sex with the partner I was just with and the combination of the 2 is So Freaking Hot! I can't really discribe it..

Well said. I love a women's perspective!

This sounds so much like our experience that Maddy could have written it. We explored her going solo and although it is hot we have not crossed that bridge yet. I do enjoy being made to sit in a chair naked and not being allowed to join the play.

[Jeana]

In the beginning my husband was all for the idea until he saw how much I liked it then he went through a stage where it bothered him, pissed him off, made him sad and various other feelings but now, he has finally came around to seeing things my way.

[AsianHW]

i was very nervous and shy about the whole thing, and the worst of all was that fact that I didn't understand why my husband wanted me to do this. When a bunch of guys showed up and looked fascinated by my presence and got really horny and started touching me, I couldn't help but kissing, smiling and touching them. My husband got really turned on and made love to me wildly afterwards. I had sex with 49 men over the past year. I am still not quite there yet, but I think I can slowly understand why men do it.

Did any wives here have a similar experience at first?

[Mia]

i was very nervous and shy about the whole thing, and the worst of all was that fact that I didn't understand why my husband wanted me to do this. When a bunch of guys showed up and looked fascinated by my presence and got really horny and started touching me, I couldn't help but kissing, smiling and touching them. My husband got really turned on and made love to me wildly afterwards. I had sex with 49 men over the past year. I am still not quite there yet, but I think I can slowly understand why men do it.

Did any wives here have a similar experience at first?

Hi, AsianHW:

You might like to know that we have a women's only forum on OHW which you can't see right now because it's hidden. It's a place where our women members can discuss things among themselves that they don't want to discuss on the open forums. If you're interested, there is a sticky thread titled "Verified Hotwife, Requirements," located up near the top of the Hotwife Forum, and this will tell you what you need to know.

Welcome to OHW!



Mia

[AsianHW]

Hi Mia,

Yes, I would like to become verified; however, my PM button is not appearing. Can you help with this please?

i was very nervous and shy about the whole thing, and the worst of all was that fact that I didn't understand why my husband wanted me to do this. When a bunch of guys showed up and looked fascinated by my presence and got really horny and started touching me, I couldn't help but kissing, smiling and touching them. My husband got really turned on and made love to me wildly afterwards. I had sex with 49 men over the past year. I am still not quite there yet, but I think I can slowly understand why men do it.

Did any wives here have a similar experience at first?

Hi, AsianHW:

You might like to know that we have a women's only forum on OHW which you can't see right now because it's hidden. It's a place where our women members can discuss things among themselves that they don't want to discuss on the open forums. If you're interested, there is a sticky thread titled "Verified Hotwife, Requirements," located up near the top of the Hotwife Forum, and this will tell you what you need to know.

Welcome to OHW!



Mia

[Mia]

Hi Mia,

Yes, I would like to become verified; however, my PM button is not appearing. Can you help with this please?

i was very nervous and shy about the whole thing, and the worst of all was that fact that I didn't understand why my husband wanted me to do this. When a bunch of guys showed up and looked fascinated by my presence and got really horny and started touching me, I couldn't help but kissing, smiling and touching them. My husband got really turned on and made love to me wildly afterwards. I had sex with 49 men over the past year. I am still not quite there yet, but I think I can slowly understand why men do it.

Did any wives here have a similar experience at first?

Hi, AsianHW:

You might like to know that we have a women's only forum on OHW which you can't see right now because it's hidden. It's a place where our women members can discuss things among themselves that they don't want to discuss on the open forums. If you're interested, there is a sticky thread titled "Verified Hotwife, Requirements," located up near the top of the Hotwife Forum, and this will tell you what you need to know.

Welcome to OHW!



Mia

Your PM button will appear just as soon as you are removed from the New Member's List...which should be sometime tomorrow!

[dali_23]

I remember when my wife and I started dating. We were both early 20's and I was about as jealous as they came. She got attention everywhere we went and she loved it. I on the other hand felt threatened by the attention she got from other males. I was inexperienced and she was well, shall we say very experienced. Knowing that she'd been with other guys made me cringe.

As the years passed and I became more secure. I noticed the jealousy fade. We've always been happily married but I remember thinking how flirty and outgoing she was when she was younger. I actually began to miss that side of her. Instead of seeing it as a threat I saw it as an opportunity to get to know her on a deeper level. If I truly loved her, why would I want her to suppress who she really was?

Since becoming a hw I've noticed a deeper connection with her. My wife can enjoy the security of a loving marriage and the excitement of someone new whenever she wants. When she's happy, I'm happy.

On a conscious level this is the best way I can describe my desires for her to take on other lovers. I know there's more to it than that though. This desire is tucked way down there on some level I can't get comprehend.

I liked reading this post!

[LawrenceKS]

Dali brings out some points of psychology that need to be further explained.

In many marriages, the thing that attracted us to our spouse in the first
place is the thing that gets on our nerves or irritates us the most later
in the marriage. One famous case study is that of Rachael Jackson, wife
of the President. As a young woman, she like to dance, flirt, dress in
attractive ways, laugh, and smile a whole lot. That is what attracted her
first husband. However, once married he became oppressively jealous when
she danced with other men, smiled at other men, or showed any interest at
all in the other half of the human race. Ultimately, this led to divorce.

Part of what I learned in studying famous women in history was that it is
important to nurture and celebrate the qualities that we liked about her (them) in
the first place. Now, I do believe the woman has to obligation of doing the
right amount of reassurance. But once that it is said, the man can profit
so much by allowing and encouraging his wife/girlfriend to maintain her
lifestyle which suits her.

It is a little easier for me since my "girl" and I are are past our childbearing
years. I was really pleased when she admitted to 25 or more sexual
partners before we got together. This confirmed what I already suspected:
she liked people, she liked to flirt, she had a strong sex drive. It took
only four months to get her started, but it has taken two additional years
for her to become comfortable with my comfort level. As I have written
above, this brings out her best qualities, and I get the benefit EVERY night.