Live in lover

[Mark K]

I love the sound of your situation Sandy...

Thanks, 2 years ago I never would have thought me and my husband would have an arrangement like this. Our marriage was not bad, but it was in a rut. Not anymore.

It will be interesting to see if I am saying this two years from now .

[Cowboyjake]

My story is a little different. My Ex and I had been in a sexual relationship with a very good friend (black male) of ours for about 5 years. He was married and lived about 30 miles from where we lived. He would come by to see us about once a week and stay for several hours. During that time we all had some great mind blowing sex. His wife had no idea what was going on. He was well hung and incredibly talented at making love to a woman.

The very first time my wife had sex with him I remember her telling me it was great but he was too big to have to take it every day. However after getting fucked by him weekly for about three months, she adapted to him very well. After that she never had an issue with his size again.

One time we hadn’t seen him for several weeks so we headed to his house to see what was up. He was home alone and told us that he had become involved with drugs and was dealing with the ramifications of addiction. We wished him luck and headed back home.

Over the next few weeks we would get phone calls from him telling us what was going on in his life which usually wasn’t good. Finally in one of the calls he was really depressed so I asked him to come by to talk. I convinced him to go into rehab which he did the following day.

I took the day off from work so I could go with him to help him get situated. It was going to be outpatient treatment. His wife had thrown him out of their home so he didn’t have any place to live. I invited him to move in with us since we were all friends and we could help him keep straight. Looking back, this was the worst decision of my life.

He moved in and with our help, he was able to pretty much kick the habit. He did relapse once or twice, but overall was doing great. During this time of being clean and sober, we started our sexual fun again. It seemed like some of the best times ever. All the sex the three of us wanted and no one had to leave when we were finished playing.

I wish I could say there was a happy ending, but there wasn’t. My wife decided that she wanted to just have one sex partner and I wasn’t the one she chose. So she divorced me and he divorced his wife and they married each other.

Funny thing is now she regrets leaving me as he never did fully get off drugs. She never had the nice things again that I was able to give her when we were married. And as a result of all of the drugs he did, he became impotent several years later. So the grass is not always greener on the other side.

[Mrfixitforyou]

Good for you

[Janes Husband]

That is a very interesting story Cowboyjake.

[VeezKnight]

My wife was 52 and I was 60 when we first began talking about the possibility of having another man join us as a "second husband" as she phrased it. This was a second marriage for us after each had been in previous 20+ year marriages. We were quite happy together and enjoying a great life together as each others best friend. The driving factor behind our discussion was my ED issues. Some years prior to that we had dabbled briefly in the swinging scene at which time I had confessed that I found more pleasure in watching her then I did being with the other man's wife. All things considered, a poly relationship made perfect sense to us, and ended up discussing in detail the possibilities before actually moving forward. My wife set certain criteria: he must be at least 45ish and unmarried, he must live reasonably local, he must be free of ED issues and the more endowed the better, and she of course had to find him attractive physically and as a friend. We thought it would be relatively easy to find the right man, especially considering that my wife is very attractive and looks much younger than her age. Wow, were we ever wrong.

We have placed and have answered ads on numerous websites. Through these she has met with close to two dozen men and has been completely up front about the sort of relationship she ultimately envisions, up to and including a live-in situation. A number of the men have met with us on several occasions, but there has always been a deal-breaker of some sort, or there has been no chemistry. One guy in particular, who we met one Sunday morning while having brunch at a favorite restaurant/bar, became a frequent companion for about 6 months. Unfortunately he turned out to be too much the alcoholic (duh--we met him in a bar). Plus, he could not maintain an erection long enough to take care of business. Regardless of the friendship that been established, and as callous as it may seem, she ultimately told him that assuming the role of her second husband was out of the question. She felt badly about it, but she was pissed about it as well. "It's not like I didn't tell him what I was expecting in the relationship. I was completely honest about wanting great sex, so why would he have pursued things knowing all along that he would not be able to satisfy me."

Nearly four years later we have pretty much given up the notion of establishing a poly relationship. Over the past year or so we have scaled it down to be more of a hotwife/cuckolding thing. She'd prefer to have something long-term with a man who is mature and unmarried and can be a good friend as well as an on-going love she can trust. She's met a couple of men but even that has proved challenging. My wife is at the point where she is thinking the entire thing involves just too much work and so is becoming less and less active in her search. This has always been about making a new good friend and about her pleasure, so it will be her call if she wants to give it up entirely.

[sandy98]

Nearly four years later we have pretty much given up the notion of establishing a poly relationship. Over the past year or so we have scaled it down to be more of a hotwife/cuckolding thing. She'd prefer to have something long-term with a man who is mature and unmarried and can be a good friend as well as an on-going love she can trust. She's met a couple of men but even that has proved challenging. My wife is at the point where she is thinking the entire thing involves just too much work and so is becoming less and less active in her search. This has always been about making a new good friend and about her pleasure, so it will be her call if she wants to give it up entirely.

I wouldn't give up on the search, just keep it in the backs of your minds. When I met my bf, hubby and I just planned on him being an occasional fwb. We didn't expect it to turn out the way it has. If she wants to keep his age in the 40's, keep in mind, a large percentage of men start experiencing some ED by then.

[wingman]

VeezKnight - Have you thought of going the younger border route? A collage student, exchange student or such. Might be your long term solution, but might be worth a try for a year or so.

[sandy98]

VeezKnight - Have you thought of going the younger border route? A collage student, exchange student or such. Might be your long term solution, but might be worth a try for a year or so.

Interesting for you to suggest that, lol. My bf is almost 20 yrs younger than me and a college student. Me nor hubby thought he would stick around for very long, but he is very, very comfortable with the poly relationship we have. He is very mature for his age. In fact, I think that was one of the reasons he would rarely date girls his own age.

[VeezKnight]

Since we have made no formal decision to end the search, it surely does remain in the back of our minds. My wife is of the mindset that if it is meant to happen, it will. I exchange emails with a local man whose wife has cucked him for the past 15 years, initially at his suggestion. He (and his wife) shares in being frustrated at being able to find the right sort of man and claims that it is simply "a numbers game." I can see the validity in that. So many of the best things in life require effort to attain. Nonetheless, while I continue to encourage my wife, ultimately it will all be up to her--that's really the only way it would work us.

Regarding the age of my wife's fwb, she has a son who is in his mid thirties, so the thought of having sex with a man who is younger than her son sorta creeps her out. I don't particularly share in her thought process, because when it comes to ED issues, younger is certainly better. There are plenty of younger guys who are attracted to older women so it would seem that one of those would make a good candidate for a fwb. My suspicion is that if the right young man came along, my wife would acquiesce.

[JRE]

My wife was 52 and I was 60 when we first began talking about the possibility of having another man join us as a "second husband" as she phrased it. This was a second marriage for us after each had been in previous 20+ year marriages. We were quite happy together and enjoying a great life together as each others best friend. The driving factor behind our discussion was my ED issues. Some years prior to that we had dabbled briefly in the swinging scene at which time I had confessed that I found more pleasure in watching her then I did being with the other man's wife. All things considered, a poly relationship made perfect sense to us, and ended up discussing in detail the possibilities before actually moving forward. My wife set certain criteria: he must be at least 45ish and unmarried, he must live reasonably local, he must be free of ED issues and the more endowed the better, and she of course had to find him attractive physically and as a friend. We thought it would be relatively easy to find the right man, especially considering that my wife is very attractive and looks much younger than her age. Wow, were we ever wrong.

We have placed and have answered ads on numerous websites. Through these she has met with close to two dozen men and has been completely up front about the sort of relationship she ultimately envisions, up to and including a live-in situation. A number of the men have met with us on several occasions, but there has always been a deal-breaker of some sort, or there has been no chemistry. One guy in particular, who we met one Sunday morning while having brunch at a favorite restaurant/bar, became a frequent companion for about 6 months. Unfortunately he turned out to be too much the alcoholic (duh--we met him in a bar). Plus, he could not maintain an erection long enough to take care of business. Regardless of the friendship that been established, and as callous as it may seem, she ultimately told him that assuming the role of her second husband was out of the question. She felt badly about it, but she was pissed about it as well. "It's not like I didn't tell him what I was expecting in the relationship. I was completely honest about wanting great sex, so why would he have pursued things knowing all along that he would not be able to satisfy me."

Nearly four years later we have pretty much given up the notion of establishing a poly relationship. Over the past year or so we have scaled it down to be more of a hotwife/cuckolding thing. She'd prefer to have something long-term with a man who is mature and unmarried and can be a good friend as well as an on-going love she can trust. She's met a couple of men but even that has proved challenging. My wife is at the point where she is thinking the entire thing involves just too much work and so is becoming less and less active in her search. This has always been about making a new good friend and about her pleasure, so it will be her call if she wants to give it up entirely.

Almost our exact situation! We've been looking for several years, but available candidates are rare, or they live all the way across the continent.

My wife had a much younger long-term boyfriend a few years ago. He had a fetish for older women and while that part was great, he was pretty much a jerk. As so often happens, she thought she could smooth his rough edges and instill a sense of responsibility in him, but that didn't happen. His drinking finally caught up with him when he wrapped his car around a tree while drunk and texting. To add insult to injury, she had loaned him the money to buy the car, and she didn't get a dime back as the car was totaled and his estate value was zero. She's found some good fuck buddies over the years, but the supplemental husband she desired wasn't among them.

[cucked4ever]

We have not had a live-in but have had men stay for a week at a time when we were younger. My mother would take the kids. The guy and my wife would play while I was at work which drove me crazy. When I came home I would knock on my own bedroom door for his permission to enter.

[wingman]

We have not had a live-in but have had men stay for a week at a time when we were younger. My mother would take the kids. The guy and my wife would play while I was at work which drove me crazy. When I came home I would knock on my own bedroom door for his permission to enter.

I would love to read about the conversation where you two talked about his coming to stay for a while?

[sandy98]

I must say, after reading other posts, I feel very lucky to have the two guys I have. It has made me think about why ours is working.

I think ours works for many reasons and here are some. I hope this helps others:

For one, both of my guys are submissive. Both of them are cuckolds. I essentially cuckold one with the other. Neither of them try to take control, dominate, or be the "alpha male" in any way.

My husband and my bf like each other so much, that they have a sexual relationship between themselves as well.

My bf has said that he never really wanted to get married and actually fantasied about spending his life as the "other man" to a married woman.

My hubby is much the same way. Although he did want to get married, he has always had the desire to share his gf's, or even wife, with another guy.

Obviously, finding the right mix of attitudes, personalities, attraction, etc., is key to making polyandry work.

[isinlarsa]

I must say, after reading other posts, I feel very lucky to have the two guys I have. It has made me think about why ours is working.

I think ours works for many reasons and here are some. I hope this helps others:

For one, both of my guys are submissive. Both of them are cuckolds. I essentially cuckold one with the other. Neither of them try to take control, dominate, or be the "alpha male" in any way.

My husband and my bf like each other so much, that they have a sexual relationship between themselves as well.

My bf has said that he never really wanted to get married and actually fantasied about spending his life as the "other man" to a married woman.

My hubby is much the same way. Although he did want to get married, he has always had the desire to share his gf's, or even wife, with another guy.

Obviously, finding the right mix of attitudes, personalities, attraction, etc., is key to making polyandry work.

Since both of your husbands are submissive, have either of them expressed a desire for you to cuckold them with a third, more dominate man? Have you thought about doing so?

[sandy98]

Since both of your husbands are submissive, have either of them expressed a desire for you to cuckold them with a third, more dominate man? Have you thought about doing so?

I actually do have a third. He lives in another city, though. I go visit him about once or twice a year. he was the guy I dated before I met my current husband. I found him on Facebook and reconnected with him. He was amazed that my hubby turned out to be the way he is, but very grateful as well, lol. But, even he is not really the dominant type.

However, I don't think either of my husbands are interested in having a dominant male enter our life. A dominant male usually means some degree of humiliation and neither of my guys are into that.

[isinlarsa]

Since both of your husbands are submissive, have either of them expressed a desire for you to cuckold them with a third, more dominate man? Have you thought about doing so?

I actually do have a third. He lives in another city, though. I go visit him about once or twice a year. he was the guy I dated before I met my current husband. I found him on Facebook and reconnected with him. He was amazed that my hubby turned out to be the way he is, but very grateful as well, lol. But, even he is not really the dominant type.

However, I don't think either of my husbands are interested in having a dominant male enter our life. A dominant male usually means some degree of humiliation and neither of my guys are into that.

Do you enjoy being the dominate one in a sexual relationship? Do you set the sexual agenda? Do either one of your husbands want you to seek out other men?

[sandy98]

Do you enjoy being the dominate one in a sexual relationship? Do you set the sexual agenda? Do either one of your husbands want you to seek out other men?

I guess I am the dominant one of the three of us, but I'm not a very dominant person. Both of my guys know I want and need sex everyday, and more than once a day. I also like all of us being naked at home. They have no problem doing that for me, too, lol. So, I guess I do set the sexual agenda in our household.

When I told my hubby that I found my old bf on Facebook, he did want me to seek him out. My bf-husband, liked the thought of that as well. If another guy was to come along, they would probably encourage me with that as well, lol.

[isinlarsa]

Do you enjoy being the dominate one in a sexual relationship? Do you set the sexual agenda? Do either one of your husbands want you to seek out other men?

I guess I am the dominant one of the three of us, but I'm not a very dominant person. Both of my guys know I want and need sex everyday, and more than once a day. I also like all of us being naked at home. They have no problem doing that for me, too, lol. So, I guess I do set the sexual agenda in our household.

When I told my hubby that I found my old bf on Facebook, he did want me to seek him out. My bf-husband, liked the thought of that as well. If another guy was to come along, they would probably encourage me with that as well, lol.

I had a girlfriend who took a second boyfriend. We never lived together, but she would stay one night with him and the next with me. Occasionally the three of us slept together. But she wasn't exclusive to the two of us. As a matter of fact, her other boyfriend introduced her to swinging. She also started seeing other men on her own. It was amazing how much sex she was getting.

[sandy98]

I had a girlfriend who took a second boyfriend. We never lived together, but she would stay one night with him and the next with me. Occasionally the three of us slept together. But she wasn't exclusive to the two of us. As a matter of fact, her other boyfriend introduced her to swinging. She also started seeing other men on her own. It was amazing how much sex she was getting.

I love sleeping between my two naked guys. Not many guys will go for that, I'm glad you will.

It's a shame that things can be so different for men vs women. For a guy to have lots of experience, its like a badge of honor and bragging rights. Women are still shamed for having lots of men in her life. I'm proud of your gf. As long as it's consensual and she is being safe, I see nothing wrong with her exploring her sexual desires.

When the three of you slept together, did you get grossed out if you had physical contact with the other guy? Some guys do and I don't understand why.

[isinlarsa]

I had a girlfriend who took a second boyfriend. We never lived together, but she would stay one night with him and the next with me. Occasionally the three of us slept together. But she wasn't exclusive to the two of us. As a matter of fact, her other boyfriend introduced her to swinging. She also started seeing other men on her own. It was amazing how much sex she was getting.

I love sleeping between my two naked guys. Not many guys will go for that, I'm glad you will.

It's a shame that things can be so different for men vs women. For a guy to have lots of experience, its like a badge of honor and bragging rights. Women are still shamed for having lots of men in her life. I'm proud of your gf. As long as it's consensual and she is being safe, I see nothing wrong with her exploring her sexual desires.

When the three of you slept together, did you get grossed out if you had physical contact with the other guy? Some guys do and I don't understand why.

I was proud that my girlfriend became so sexually free. She wasn't that free when we first met, but she grew. And one of the first things that attracted me to my then-future wife was that she was sexually free. She casually told me shortly after we started dating that she usually had sex on a first date.

I had no problem with physical contact with the other guy. It kinda makes things a bit restricted and unnatural to worry about contact with the other man in a MFM threesome. It certainly never bothered my girlfriend when we had a FMF with her best friend. They hugged and kissed much to my delight.

[nevertoolate]

This thread could be listed a "required reading" for those couple that want to pursue a poly life.

Many thanks and best wishes to Sandy98. Your posts on the forums are always positive, helpful, and encouraging. Your situation seems almost ideal. You and the men in your life are fortunate to have each other.

I had a brief experience with my late wife where we invited her lover to visit for a week. Her lover and I hung out together during the day while she had to work, and then I worked the evening shift while they had time together. It was friendly and most satisfying for us men, as he made up for lost time with her. Certainly not having children around helps. We were not able to pursue this much more because of distances, so it is gratifying to hear of others enjoying this potential for positive relations.

From a male point of view, it would be the most calming in the relations to have the men on equal terms and not competing but partnering to keep a woman properly satisfied. We should all be so lucky to have that "burden."

[sandy98]

Thank you nevertoolate.

I'm sure poly relationships are pretty rare. It definitely takes the right combination of people to make it work.

[Squirming69]

I'm sure poly relationships are pretty rare. It definitely takes the right combination of people to make it work.

What many people do not seem to understand is that Poly is much more about the overall relationship, not simply just the sexual physical aspects.

[Vinnydee]

My wife's lover lived with us full time for 7 years and then part time for another 25 years after she married. My wife prefers sex with women and so my wife's lover is female. The best part is that my wife will not have sex with women unless I take part. That was 32 years of threesomes for me but I managed to get through it.

I am too much an alpha male to allow a male lover to move in with us. In fact, I would not tolerate an emotional relationship between my wife and a male. I have watched her have sex with men but it was just sex. I am the one that wants all the women to himself and cuckolded a few men due to that. So for me it would not work out. Maybe if the guy was a beta male since I have to be top dog in any group of males I am with. My wife does not like beta males which is why she married me.

Since we both loved my wife's female lover it worked out very well for us. Our girlfriend was wife #2 but my wife was a wife to our girlfriend. Our girlfriend did not do any domestic things. My wife would make her bed, cook for her, do her laundry. I paid for her clothes and food even though she had a very good job. Our other poly married friends all got divorced due to problems with the lovers of one or both spouses. We lost our best friends like that. They had the husbands lover move in. The wife and her fought all the time because the lover was monopolizing her husbands time. Per their agreement the wife had the say over her husband's lovers and kicked her out. The problem was that her husband continued to see her without his wife's knowledge. Meanwhile the wife was in a relationship with her boss and they both ended up divorcing and moving in with their lovers.

Our wife #2 married a poly man whose wife left him for her lover but still wanted to be poly in his next marriage. We all fit together perfectly though.

[gatorrdw]

My wife had second husbands twice. The first was actually her well hung boss and his nice fat, 10 inch cock, Pete lived with us for almost 3 years. My wife was 29 when t this began and in less than a year Pete got her pregnant, but she lost the baby after about 4 months, they tried again over the next year and a half (I would give him exclusive use when she was ovulating and he would really make use of the time). The company that he worked for transferred him to the west coast and he asked my wife if she wanted to go and continue to be his personal assistant. My wife and I discussed it at length, but she ultimately decided that she didn't want to be flying back and forth and she preferred to stay with me.

About a year later my wife and I both accepted part time staff positions with an activity center that was being operated by a friend of ours that was trying to rescue the business. It was at that part time business that we met another part time staff member. A handsome 5'10" tall, 170 lbs. with a bright smile and charming personality black man- his name is Haywood- that my wife started flirting with the evening she met him. He was unaware that she was my wife and over the next few weeks he would ask me what I knew about her, was she married, divorced, single, interested in him. I did tell him that I was sure that she would like to get to know him better, because she had asked me what I knew about him. After about 6 weeks my wife and I were having a brief conversation about a work issue when Haywood Joined us and asked if we would like to come over to his apartment for a drink after work, he said that he only lived a few blocks from the business. My wife said I'm game if GTR is. I said that I would follow them over in my car if she wanted to ride with him and that way I could give her a ride back to get her car. A little later Haywood said I hope that it won't bother you but I'm going to try to have some of her tonight, if I'm lucky she might not need a ride back to her car tonight. I told him I think that you probably have a fairly good chance based on some of the things she has said about you. What has she said? Just that she is interested in getting to know you better.

We went to Haywood's apartment and as discussed I followed in my car. It looked to me like they might have kissed right after they got in the car and again when they stopped at the traffic light and again just before they got out of the car (my wife told me later that they did). After going in Haywood put on some soft music and got he and I a beer and made her a mixed drink. After some small talk he asked her to slow dance some with him and in almost no time they weren't dancing just making out and within a half hour I watched my wife getting 11inches+ of a fat black cock. During the evening he learned that she was my wife and that we had sort of planned this. We stayed the night, I don't know how often he worked her pussy over with his big cock and when I got awake at about 8:00 in the morning they were at each other again. We went for breakfast and my wife asked me if Haywood could move in with us and be her second husband. I agreed and before long he and I were sharing the household bills and her.

After about a year she asked me if I would agree to let Haywood have exclusive use of her because she truly wanted to have a child with him. I realized how important it was to her and agreed. Believe me when I say they went at it like newlyweds on their honeymoon, he was in her balls deep morning before work, as soon as he got home from work and again before going to sleep and many of these were prolonged encounters that he had already proved to her the first night he had her that he could go for quite some time before cumming and when he did um at was a lot. It took less than a month and he planted a baby in her belly. Unfortunately just like with Pete she lost this one at almost 5 months. We were all quite devastated and it took her several weeks to get past it, I suggested that Haywood take her on a beach vacation (one of her favorite things) and just the 2 of them go. By the time they returned she was back to herself and I heard her tell Haywood to come on and fuck me and put another baby in my belly. It wasn't to be and she never got pregnant again to anyone and quite a few men had the opportunity to plant a baby in her, because she couldn't stand condoms. About 2 years after the lost pregnancy Haywood accepted a higher position in the Federal Prison System in a state out west, he was assistant warden where he was at when he lived with us.

He was the last to live with us full time, with both men, it was our home and they were very welcome to enjoy everything that we had. Both men and I became very good friends and either one of us would take her solo or invite the other to join if that was the mood my wife was in. It can work but there must be solid trust between the husband and wife and the second husband has to understand that together we welcome them into our life. GTR