New and still figuring it all out

[rascalnvixen]

Hi 2UP!!!!

I know this isn't what you were hoping for when you refreshed the screen but maybe I can add a different thought to your situation.

Why wouldn't you meet him for a first time without all the history? If you click and have a great time then have that talk and judge his reactions in person. If he's not good for that (I can't imagine that, AT ALL) then wish him well and thank him for a wonderful time. On to the next guy! If I were you, that is the way I would handle it. If you give him a taste (no pun intended, at all) of who you are and how wonderful you are and then have that talk, I think he will be more likely to understand the situation at home with hubby and embrace the circumstances and you. Jmho!

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

Hi 2UP!!!!

I know this isn't what you were hoping for when you refreshed the screen but maybe I can add a different thought to your situation.

Why wouldn't you meet him for a first time without all the history? If you click and have a great time then have that talk and judge his reactions in person. If he's not good for that (I can't imagine that, AT ALL) then wish him well and thank him for a wonderful time. On to the next guy! If I were you, that is the way I would handle it. If you give him a taste (no pun intended, at all) of who you are and how wonderful you are and then have that talk, I think he will be more likely to understand the situation at home with hubby and embrace the circumstances and you. Jmho!

Rascal

I know you mean well but that doesn't work for me to do it that way.
Ok.... I haven't really mentioned a lot about my physical situation on the board but I was in a car accident 4 years ago that left me with chronic pain issues. So for me to get myself together to go out and meet someone ..... I need to make sure they are worth it. I am not going to meet just a random guy that "might" be of interest. The men that I play with are aware of my pain issues and our background story so they know what they are getting themselves into.
I'm not looking for a date, and if he hasn't shown who he is online why would I waste time..... put myself through the literal pain of getting there?
Driving can be painful, getting dressed can be painful ..... I can't drink because of meds that I need to take the edge off the pain. (they don't get rid of it)
Most of my play dates include hot tub time and massage for a reason - to reduce my pain so that I can move more easily.
Meet a man before I know if he is worth going through that? No, not a chance.
I realize you had no idea but there are reasons why I make the choices I do.

[rascalnvixen]

2UP,

I know enough about you that you are a very well planned person who does the things they do for a reason. After I posted that I had a flash of a thought that there must be a reason she does it that way. If you think I'm going to throw you a pity party, you are mistaken!! I'm going to give you a nice slap on the butt a tell you how proud I am of you! I know about your pain! I had/have the same situation from time to time. A small problem with a motorcycle led to a further problem in my back where I had slipped on some snowy steps 4 years ago. Short story, I have a bulging disk in my L5 that has caused a lot of pain, probably similar to your's. I'm lucky that an epidural injection every 4 to 6 months takes care of most of the pain but still not as able to perform certain tasks as I was previously. No more heavy lifting!! What did you think I was referring to????

I totally understand your thoughts and reasons. Someone who has not had that kind of chronic and sometimes acute pain can't fully understand, but I do! Do I still ride the bike? Absolutely!! Do you still ride, ahem?? My guess is Absolutely!!! But I was not aware of your situation and all the prep you go through and how difficult it is to get there and probably even to perform for your men. You definitely are a strong woman! A lot of people I know that have had this pain are not even interested in any sex of any kind. Even more reason for me to believe you are an awesome woman!!!!

Good luck on your screen refreshing!!!

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

Taking a deep breath!
I hesitated mentioning much about my pain issues and physical limitations because I had hoped to find some part of my life that it did not affect, but that isn't realistic as it absolutely makes a difference in my playtime.

This post however isn't meant to be negative, instead I want to highlight something truly positive that I have discovered coming out of this lifestyle in relation to my pain and range of motion.
Yes I do spend time in a hot tub as part of most play dates and many times massage is involved but I've gradually started to notice that it appears the endorphins are temporarily decreasing my nerve pain.
In addition all those lovely orgasms have a cumulative effect and work as a whole body muscle relaxer!! I am able to sleep better too for a couple nights as the overall effect of the orgasms on my muscles seems to last a little while. I have even noticed there are times that I don't have to take as much if my muscle relaxers the next day!
So for those that say they are in too much pain for sex? Don't give up.... it just might provide you with some pain relief.

[curcpl32]

Taking a deep breath!
I hesitated mentioning much about my pain issues and physical limitations because I had hoped to find some part of my life that it did not affect, but that isn't realistic as it absolutely makes a difference in my playtime.

This post however isn't meant to be negative, instead I want to highlight something truly positive that I have discovered coming out of this lifestyle in relation to my pain and range of motion.
Yes I do spend time in a hot tub as part of most play dates and many times massage is involved but I've gradually started to notice that it appears the endorphins are temporarily decreasing my nerve pain.
In addition all those lovely orgasms have a cumulative effect and work as a whole body muscle relaxer!! I am able to sleep better too for a couple nights as the overall effect of the orgasms on my muscles seems to last a little while. I have even noticed there are times that I don't have to take as much if my muscle relaxers the next day!
So for those that say they are in too much pain for sex? Don't give up.... it just might provide you with some pain relief.

Yes, the hot tub! I have ongoing pain issues from the same parts Rascal mentioned and a surgery that didn't work long term. I refuse to take any meds for it so I try the tub and alternative hotwife medicine! Love the hot tub to relax and the "stress relief" when my hotwife comes home from a date and attacks me to be reclaimed! Always sleep alot better after that!

[curcpl32]

Also echo what rascal said in his last post. Awesome and great for you to be a hotwife and go through what you do. As he said if you have never been there with chronic pain like that you don't know what we are talking about. Kudos to you!!

[2inUPMichigan]

Ooh and I will look up the recipe for edible massage oil that I have here somewhere if anyone is interested. Might as well make it fun all the way around!
That reminds me I need some more ingredients


Thanks as always for the support. We all need something to look forward to.

[Still Crazy]

2UP,

I'm sitting here laughing! If Hot Wifeing relives your pain, maybe you can go to the Dr and get a script for the physical therapy then get the insurance to cover the costs on your playdates.

[2inUPMichigan]

Hmm...I wonder if that would somehow cover the cost of specialized clothing (lingerie)? Or maybe some "therapeutic equipment"? (cough -toys) Because the men I play with are gentlemen and always pay for the hotel and any meals.

[hotwifelover31]

I don’t mean to be flippant by any means, but more orgasms and less opioids sounds like a heretofore unknown benefit of hotwifery. Much more importantly, it comforts me to know each time you play, 2UPM, you get more benefits than the orgasmic rewards we crave hearing about. I also wanted to commend you on the thoughtful advice and support you offer to others on OHW. You are a true gem and hubby and all your privileged lovers are blessed to experience your sweetness and sexiness, as are we! Have a glorious Sunday!

[SutterKane]

Me? I'm just happy that you're happy!

[2inUPMichigan]

Things are going really well with the new prospect. One thing came up.... I mentioned that I post on a message board (this one) and he more or less asked for information about it. I believe he is looking for additional paths to find women and couples.
I told him I would consider giving him the info if we meet.
Opinions? Is it a good idea or a bad idea for me to share this site with a single man I might play with? I'm not sure yet.

[Trixkat]

B asked me about the site a while back. I teased him about wanting to stalk me. he said he wanted to do his research, see what he could learn about "the hotwife thing so I can take even better care of you when we're together."

I don't think he's joined the site but I would be happy to see him here if he has/does.

[2inUPMichigan]

I have mixed feelings because he is probably looking for additional play dates and I'm not sure how comfortable I will be talking about the same man a someone else?
That and the whole --oops TMI stuff.

[Whosbeensleeping]

I'm thinking your instincts are right on the money, fwiw, and so it's probably good to listen to them. Which you no doubt will, since you're a smart cookie!

[2inUPMichigan]

LOL ... I tell my guys that all the time. "Watch out I'm a smart cookie"

[2inUPMichigan]

Call me an exhibitionist, but I like people listening

I don't mind if they are strangers just don't want my husband to be embarrassed if someone we know is around!!
In the moment however I really don't care who listens

One of the men I'm in contact with has requested a phone call so he can listen in ..... Well how does one respond to a request like that?

If you're into the guy, I'd suggest you listen to him!

Keep reading - on page 26 you will see there was some listening!

[rascalnvixen]

2UP,

Sorry I couldn't respond sooner, we had company yesterday and didn't get a chance to be here for long. As to the question about should you share this site with him, I would advise not to do that. Why? Because, if I understand who you are and your concerns for privacy, telling him about this site and especially if you tell him you name here, you will be giving up SO much control over how much information he has about you and what you like and not. It would almost be like a direct line to all your thoughts. If he is good for you, let that info out in your own time and style, I would not just give him all of that on a platter for him to read here.

Just my thoughts!

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

A little frustrated this morning as my massage was cancelled. Not her fault as she was sick but I have been distracting myself by messaging with the new guy and catching up on text with H (he was at a party over the weekend).
I thinking I might shut off the internet this afternoon and see if I can get some writing done.

In the meantime .....it is looking like I might not be seeing S again after our last play date. It just wasn't what I was looking for. That was our second time together and I don't want to waste his time if I am just not feeling it. And it really isn't good if at the end of the night I'm thinking it was "OK".

[2inUPMichigan]

I don’t mean to be flippant by any means, but more orgasms and less opioids sounds like a heretofore unknown benefit of hotwifery. Much more importantly, it comforts me to know each time you play, 2UPM, you get more benefits than the orgasmic rewards we crave hearing about. I also wanted to commend you on the thoughtful advice and support you offer to others on OHW. You are a true gem and hubby and all your privileged lovers are blessed to experience your sweetness and sexiness, as are we! Have a glorious Sunday!

Thank you for you kind words!


Wouldn't it be great to make up T-shirts that said "More Orgasms Less Opioids" or "For More Orgasms and Less Opioids become a Hot Wife" now that could be a winning slogan!!

I have always said that if my story could help someone else then it was worth me telling it. So maybe this piece that I had not shared before is important too.
Touch is a powerful thing and orgasms as we know can be very powerful. Orgasms can help with muscle pain. Do your research if you don't believe me. Tell someone in pain to just test out the theory to see if they feel even the slightest bit better.

I figured it out by happy accident. Being in pain is not a reason to avoid sex in of itself. If your pain is in the muscles then try pushing through once to see what happens when you get to the other side. You might just be pleasantly surprised!!

[2inUPMichigan]

2inUPMichigan, I've not read it all but from what I have, great thread. Although you say that you're new, there's lots of things to be learned by any "newbies" that read this thread. As to the "share the site" question, I kinda like to keep it all separate. I also belong to a swinger site and have attended parties organized on that site. Some folks made the connection between the two and it was kinda uncomfortable for us. I (actually both of us 'cause my husband is here too) get much more detailed and graphic about our activities here. On the swinger site we're more just an example of everyday swingers although, if ya read between the lines, many can tell that we're a cuckold couple. But still, just personal preference, I like keeping it all separate.

Welcome Ares to my little corner
I was brand spankin' new when I first started the thread. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday but I have learned a lot and hopefully shared some helpful advice along the way too.
I'm thinking that I don't want to share this site with any of the men that I play with because this is where I can "let it all hang out".
And no don't all go running over to the hotties folder! You all know by now I would never post nude pictures online.

[rascalnvixen]

You all know by now I would never post nude pictures online.

DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it when she says that!!!!!

[2inUPMichigan]

You all know by now I would never post nude pictures online.

DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it when she says that!!!!!

Rascal I'm just helping you use that very active imagination of yours.

[Whosbeensleeping]

You all know by now I would never post nude pictures online.

DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it when she says that!!!!!

Rascal I'm just helping you use that very active imagination of yours.

Lol, yes that's why books are usually better than the movie versions!

[txhwhubby]

Ares, I like the way you think.