Not sure if I'm in the right place..

[skoot1958]

If L is ok with no condom then let it pass, in the UK it is sexual assault, might even consider rape I’m not an expert.

The hard part of proof, he says, she says, I like the she is pregnant approach, maybe L should consider morning after tables to be sure

And no to a match

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

If L is ok with no condom then let it pass, in the UK it is sexual assault, might even consider rape I’m not an expert.

The hard part of proof, he says, she says, I like the she is pregnant approach, maybe L should consider morning after tables to be sure

And no to a match

This is my take on it, I'm just following her lead. She isn't distraught, she wants to move on with more experiences and this is just one of them. So, me talking about scaring him is just blowing off steam.

After her meeting with the fireman tonight, another meeting with Pierre is looking even less likely anyway.

[sandy691196]

If L is ok with no condom then let it pass, in the UK it is sexual assault, might even consider rape I’m not an expert.

The hard part of proof, he says, she says, I like the she is pregnant approach, maybe L should consider morning after tables to be sure

And no to a match

This is my take on it, I'm just following her lead. She isn't distraught, she wants to move on with more experiences and this is just one of them. So, me talking about scaring him is just blowing off steam.

After her meeting with the fireman tonight, another meeting with Pierre is looking even less likely anyway.

Blowing off steam - captures it succinctly.
Angst is a natural, caveman reaction when your woman and your corner in the cave are being poached on.
No amount of logic or fancy words from us will help with that angst.
It's good that your wife sees that angst in you rather than a-couldn't care less as long as my fantasy is met- reaction.
It will keep the relationship on rails..

So she is now with the fireman?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

L had her date with the fireman.

She really liked him, completely different from Pierre. Not pushy at all, let L make the moves she felt comfortable with and gave her the space she felt safe enough in to make them.

Unfortunately, L started spotting from her period and so she didn't feel comfortable having PIV sex. So he got heavy petting and a blow job. She is taking a medication to delay her period for a few days so if that works then she may meet up with him for the full event in the coming days.

She liked him so much more than Pierre. He is very experienced in the lifestyle, plays with a lot of couples and was able to help her sort through some of her feelings about what she wants from the lifestyle. She said their date "wasn't what she wanted, but it was what she needed."

She now is beginning to feel a little more confident in herself and about getting what she wants. She isn't feeling any shame or guilt about it either.

In 24 hours she has had sex with 3 different men what a different girl to the day we first met

[sandy691196]

So it went well. It laid a good foundation for the future.

Your first instincts about Pierre were correct. You had written before that he appeared to be arrogant. That instinct turned out right.

In the LS, the hubby can put his foot down and stop further interactions with a FB if the hubby feels uncomfortable. Just like the hotwife can pull the plug on anyone.

You don't need to be defensive about Pierre. He is out.. Period.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

So it went well. It laid a good foundation for the future.

Your first instincts about Pierre were correct. You had written before that he appeared to be arrogant. That instinct turned out right.

In the LS, the hubby can put his foot down and stop further interactions with a FB if the hubby feels uncomfortable. Just like the hotwife can pull the plug on anyone.

You don't need to be defensive about Pierre. He is out.. Period.

Yes, I think the fireman laid a much more successful foundation that Pierre. He was patient, and cared about her as a person first, the sex was 'almost' secondary. Pierre is the opposite, he is pretty much only interested in sex. We met him (both of the actually) on a swinging site, so I suspect his attitude is common. However the fireman helped L understand that if she didn't want that to be her experience with men in this LS then it doesn't need to be. Prior to that conversation, she was just accepting the attitude as something that was part of the process, now she knows it's her choice what to accept when selecting potential lovers and her normal is whatever she wants it to be.

We actually haven't had any conversation about my vetoing any of her choices in men and from other conversations we have had about my letting go of 'trying to control' the situation, I doubt that she would react well to me trying to veto someone. Ultimately, I have to trust in her choice of lovers. As she gets more experience with men, she will make better choices for herself. This date with Fireman has been a big step forward in that regard. There would need to be some serious red flags for me to put my foot down and tell her "no."

I'm not defensive about Pierre. I may not like the way he operated on that night, that may colour my opinion of him as a person, but I don't feel defensive. L has mentioned that she may meet him again before we go, probably just for a coffee and to say "thank you and goodbye." I'm sure he will want more, that will be interesting to see how L reacts and what she ultimately decides to do or not do with him.

I think with our remaining time here, she would prefer Fireman. However, if he is unavailable, will she take Pierre one last time as a back up?

[54321]

Fireman every time. He's a star and the kind of man your lovely wife deserves.

54321

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Fireman every time. He's a star and the kind of man your lovely wife deserves.

54321

Fireman has other commitments, unfortunately. So L will spend the afternoon with Pierre tomorrow.

She assures me that he is a good guy, so I'm trusting in her judge of character and not making any waves about it. She is usually a pretty good judge of character.

[sandy691196]

Fireman every time. He's a star and the kind of man your lovely wife deserves.

54321

Fireman has other commitments, unfortunately. So L will spend the afternoon with Pierre tomorrow.

She assures me that he is a good guy, so I'm trusting in her judge of character and not making any waves about it. She is usually a pretty good judge of character.

Last 2 times didn't get to hear about your reclamation sex.. How have you 2 been in bed in the midst of all this?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Last 2 times didn't get to hear about your reclamation sex.. How have you 2 been in bed in the midst of all this?

We had sex the morning after her first night with Pierre. It was really nice to reconnect. L was a lot more open and responsive during it than she usually is, we didn't talk dirty about what she did with Pierre. It was just us focusing on each other.

It was also the first time she has let me cum inside her.

Her second date with Pierre is happening now. So I'm back in the pub I've chosen as my local watching tennis and tracking crypto.

I haven't gone too much into details yet, or our thoughts and feelings about the whole process because I'm only typing on my phone as things are happening. When I get home and back on the computer I can give a more complete review and breakdown.

So if anyone has any questions or wants me to expand on anything, let me know and I'll answer everyone more fully when I am back home.

[sandy691196]

We sure are mighty interested..

[FNQLivin]

She doesn’t normally allow you to cum in her?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

We sure are mighty interested..

What surprises me is how level my emotions are.

I know they are together now. Yet, I don't feel any of the Rollercoaster other members have discussed and I was expecting. I'm not anxious, I'm not hard and leaking pre-cum, I'm surprisingly level and even emotionally.

Even after her first meeting, once I got over the condom thing, I'm happy to just let her have her fun and trust that she knows what she is doing for herself.

Our relationship hasn't changed at all. L has been a little more clingy, but otherwise we affirm our love for each other then same way.

It's not what I was expecting, and I felt more anxious leading up to the first event than I do after it.

Is this strange?

[sandy691196]

We sure are mighty interested..

What surprises me is how level my emotions are.

I know they are together now. Yet, I don't feel any of the Rollercoaster other members have discussed and I was expecting. I'm not anxious, I'm not hard and leaking pre-cum, I'm surprisingly level and even emotionally.

Even after her first meeting, once I got over the condom thing, I'm happy to just let her have her fun and trust that she knows what she is doing for herself.

Our relationship hasn't changed at all. L has been a little more clingy, but otherwise we affirm our love for each other then same way.

It's not what I was expecting, and I felt more anxious leading up to the first event than I do after it.

Is this strange?

I think I said this in some other thread- the first few times are totally unpredictable in terms of how they make the couple feel.
The build up over years and the fantasies are basically mind fucks. But the reality may not be the same as one had fantasised about.

The good thing in your case is that you 2 chose to do this on a vacation out of home base.. This trip was kinda dedicated to this. This entire thing was handled like a Project!

Now once you go back to your daily lives, after deep introspection and intense discussion between the 2 of you.. ALL kinds of options are open to you.

Was it worth all the trouble? Was it a one time time thing to scratch the itch and check out what it does for you? Would you 2 want to keep this as an annual vacation event?

Or- is it an essential part of your regular sex life now? Now that you have seen that the risks are manageable and it's not something scary in real life, would you want to do it in your home base too?

Something I would like to reiterate is- BOTH partners' perspectives and feelings are valid and should be taken on board, if this has to be sustainable in the marital relationship.

[54321]

Our relationship hasn't changed at all. L has been a little more clingy, but otherwise we affirm our love for each other then same way.

It's not what I was expecting, and I felt more anxious leading up to the first event than I do after it.

Is this strange?

You obviously feel secure in your relationship.

54321

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Our relationship hasn't changed at all. L has been a little more clingy, but otherwise we affirm our love for each other then same way.

It's not what I was expecting, and I felt more anxious leading up to the first event than I do after it.

Is this strange?

You obviously feel secure in your relationship.

54321

I guess this is true, I certainly don't feel there is any threat to it.

We sure are mighty interested..

What surprises me is how level my emotions are.

I know they are together now. Yet, I don't feel any of the Rollercoaster other members have discussed and I was expecting. I'm not anxious, I'm not hard and leaking pre-cum, I'm surprisingly level and even emotionally.

Even after her first meeting, once I got over the condom thing, I'm happy to just let her have her fun and trust that she knows what she is doing for herself.

Our relationship hasn't changed at all. L has been a little more clingy, but otherwise we affirm our love for each other then same way.

It's not what I was expecting, and I felt more anxious leading up to the first event than I do after it.

Is this strange?

I think I said this in some other thread- the first few times are totally unpredictable in terms of how they make the couple feel.
The build up over years and the fantasies are basically mind fucks. But the reality may not be the same as one had fantasised about.

The good thing in your case is that you 2 chose to do this on a vacation out of home base.. This trip was kinda dedicated to this. This entire thing was handled like a Project!

Now once you go back to your daily lives, after deep introspection and intense discussion between the 2 of you.. ALL kinds of options are open to you.

Was it worth all the trouble? Was it a one time time thing to scratch the itch and check out what it does for you? Would you 2 want to keep this as an annual vacation event?

Or- is it an essential part of your regular sex life now? Now that you have seen that the risks are manageable and it's not something scary in real life, would you want to do it in your home base too?

Something I would like to reiterate is- BOTH partners' perspectives and feelings are valid and should be taken on board, if this has to be sustainable in the marital relationship.

I'll expand on this more when I am home, but from my conversations with L, this will most likely be our more or less permanent lifestyle from now on. At least until she is pregnant.

We're meeting Pierre for a drink this afternoon. I'm not 100% sure I want to interact with a man that has now fucked L twice. Yes, they fucked yesterday too, more on that later as well but, if this is going to be our dynamic then I need to get used to it sooner or later I suppose

[sandy691196]

In that case, obviously you need to figure out a way for her to have local men in your area. That was a challenge in the past. .. if I remember?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

She doesn’t normally allow you to cum in her?

Sorry, I missed your comment. No, normally we use the pull out method. But, we're about to start trying for a baby and this trip is when I'm allowed to start

In that case, obviously you need to figure out a way for her to have local men in your area. That was a challenge in the past. .. if I remember?

You are correct. Our home city size had a small dating pool. So we're going to look when we're back, but have no intentions of lowering our standard for men. So if we find someone, then great. If not, well it is what it is.

We've been discussing our options for our future and I believe a permanent move over here is on the cards in the next 18 months or so. Everything about it makes sense, not just from a hotwife perspective.

Update: We met with Pierre yesterday and after a brief awkward moment I warmed up to the guy. He really tried to make us feel comfortable and I appreciated that. I'm over their misstep with the condom, so we're past that now. I didn't feel any shame or humiliation interacting with him. When we entered the bar he was sat at a square table, there was a TV playing the tennis on one side, he was sat directly in front of the TV which left a seat to the left and the right. L sat down on one side of him and he invited me to sit on the other side of him. For whatever reason, insecurities?, I didnt want him to sit between us. I didn't like the inference of that, so I sat in front of him with my back to the TV. probably there was nothing intended there, but I just was feeling uncomfortable about it and L sitting between us felt more natural from my POV.

That being said, I think he is a decent guy. I dont think he is playing any games and was very respectful towards me. Thanked me a lot for introducing L to him. We talked tennis, life, the lifestyle, futures. L relaxed quite easily and said later that once I relaxed she said it felt very natural sitting with her husband and lover talking about life.

Today is our last day here, we fly home in the morning tomorrow. L is having another couple of hours with Pierre now. She hasn't been able to cum with him yet, so she wants one more try before we leave. I genuinely hope for both of them that they achieve it.

[FNQLivin]

Dumb question, but is he using condoms now? I assume she is not on any BC?

I’m in Cairns, it’s a bit hot up here at the moment. Used to live in Melbourne. You’ve chosen a nice city to visit.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Dumb question, but is he using condoms now? I assume she is not on any BC?

I’m in Cairns, it’s a bit hot up here at the moment. Used to live in Melbourne. You’ve chosen a nice city to visit.

The last time they fucked they did use condoms. L was also on her period, so that contributed. Today is the last day of her period so it's very light spotting. I assume they will use condoms, but I don't know for certain.

L mentioned to him that I wasnt happy about them not using them the first time, which he understood. He also has a wife so doesn't want to be getting another girl pregnant. She said the passion overtook them the first time, which happens. There is a very low chance of her getting pregnant today, so if they don't use them, I'm fine with it, as long as L is happy with it.

Melbourne is amazing. We love it here, Cairns is way too hot for me

[sandy691196]

In that case, obviously you need to figure out a way for her to have local men in your area. That was a challenge in the past. .. if I remember?

You are correct. Our home city size had a small dating pool. So we're going to look when we're back, but have no intentions of lowering our standard for men. So if we find someone, then great. If not, well it is what it is.

We've been discussing our options for our future and I believe a permanent move over here is on the cards in the next 18 months or so. Everything about it makes sense, not just from a hotwife perspective.

Update: We met with Pierre yesterday and after a brief awkward moment I warmed up to the guy. He really tried to make us feel comfortable and I appreciated that. I'm over their misstep with the condom, so we're past that now. I didn't feel any shame or humiliation interacting with him. When we entered the bar he was sat at a square table, there was a TV playing the tennis on one side, he was sat directly in front of the TV which left a seat to the left and the right. L sat down on one side of him and he invited me to sit on the other side of him. For whatever reason, insecurities?, I didnt want him to sit between us. I didn't like the inference of that, so I sat in front of him with my back to the TV. probably there was nothing intended there, but I just was feeling uncomfortable about it and L sitting between us felt more natural from my POV.

That being said, I think he is a decent guy. I dont think he is playing any games and was very respectful towards me. Thanked me a lot for introducing L to him. We talked tennis, life, the lifestyle, futures. L relaxed quite easily and said later that once I relaxed she said it felt very natural sitting with her husband and lover talking about life.

Today is our last day here, we fly home in the morning tomorrow. L is having another couple of hours with Pierre now. She hasn't been able to cum with him yet, so she wants one more try before we leave. I genuinely hope for both of them that they achieve it.

Its so nice that this thing worked out for you two after such a long and elaborate planning and mental prep.

The more experiences she gets the better it is getting for you two. She has physically started looking forward to more and more sex. I understand that the last time Pierre fucked her, she was on her periods, with a condom on? That shows a lot of motivation and horny drive for her.. to try that.

You also wrote earlier that you two see this as a regular, long term thing going ahead. So you would definitely have to find a way to play on your home turf proactively. While local talent, you say, is sparse. .do you have business travellers visiting your place? Or passing through? Some couples try that route. Ads on suitable platforms are placed, seeking out travellers passing through. It gives the opportunity to check out profiles without commitment.

Since you are trying now for a baby.. how will you manage the fucking bare thing with FBs? I mean, in the heat of the moment things have gone beyond planning.. right? Or does that risk turn you on? You two are discovering a lot of new traits in yourselves.. right?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just got word they finished.

Spoiler: she came, hard. About to head back and pick her up.

Genuinely so happy for her. She needed this.

[venus-can99]

Thanks for the update ML0. Glad that she was able to cum. Looking forward to hearing more once you are back home

[sandy691196]

Most interesting would be to know if they went bare and whether he dumped his cum inside her.

[54321]

Spoiler: she came, hard. About to head back and pick her up.

Genuinely so happy for her. She needed this.

Wow! So much to talk about.

54321