It finally happened... I am no longer a wannabe

[snoogaloo82]

"I shared with her the breakthrough I had with my therapist regarding this situation and that my desire came from past trauma of being cheated on and having boundaries ignored, causing me to seek out a situation where I could have some control over it."

Very interesting comment. When I caught (in person) my young and beautiful 1st wife cheating on me, I found to my amazement, after the initial shock, I wasn't angry. I'm supposed to be angry, but I wasn't. I've been a stag type, ever since, with very powerful urges to share my women (2 wives, 3 gfs), but still have some reasonable control and always knowledge. I've often speculated about several possible reasons for why I feel the way I do, but that cheating incident being a direct cause wasn't one of them.

Probably your therapist was correct. Thanks for your interesting and enlightening post....

What a cool story to share! For me it started out with an ex-girlfriend living in the same apartment building right above me and her and her then boyfriend having heavy sex. loud enough for me to hear it in great detail! i found that i wasn't angry with her doing it. it was something that i totally accepted, and could live vicariously through the two of them.

[tnalphacuck]

Since it's happened have you guys talked much about it? h
Have you used it in Fantasy play when you screw?

I know I would want to know every little detail... is she fairly forthcoming or more wants to keep it to herself?

Tbh, she's not really a fan of going into graphic detail with sex stuff. We haven't talked much about it other than her telling me it was really good and that she may be open to it again under certain circumstances. We have not really integrated that talk into our sex sessions, preferring to focus on each other when we fuck. She's a very attentive lover.

[snoogaloo82]

Since it's happened have you guys talked much about it? h
Have you used it in Fantasy play when you screw?

I know I would want to know every little detail... is she fairly forthcoming or more wants to keep it to herself?

Tbh, she's not really a fan of going into graphic detail with sex stuff. We haven't talked much about it other than her telling me it was really good and that she may be open to it again under certain circumstances. We have not really integrated that talk into our sex sessions, preferring to focus on each other when we fuck. She's a very attentive lover.

That's very interesting that you guys don't go into big descriptions of what happened. I would have a hard time with that, but if it made her happy to not say anything, and I saw a smile on her face, then I would be totally cool with whatever she chose to do.

[Myhotwife1977]

My fiance and I were recently on vacation, staying at a nice resort in Florida. We made it a habit of hitting one of the bars in the resort for drinks almost nightly, just getting a decent buzz before heading back to the room for sex and bed. Vacation also tends to bring out deeper conversations. We had already previously discussed the desire I've had for her to sleep with another man, but it only stayed in fantasy because neither of us understood the mechanics behind it. The first night of our trip, I shared with her the breakthrough I had with my therapist regarding this situation and that my desire came from past trauma of being cheated on and having boundaries ignored, causing me to seek out a situation where I could have some control over it.

On night 3, we got down to the bar before I realized I had left my wallet in the room. I'm not sure if this was a subconscious act or just normal forgetfulness. I left her at the bar by herself while I went back to the room. As I got back, I saw her finishing up a conversation with another bar patron. She's naturally friendly, so I thought nothing of it when he left after I got there. We finished our drink date and headed back toward the room. On the elevator, I asked her who that guy was.

"Oh, that's Jack. He gave me his number, but I told him I'm married and that you'd be back any second. He tried being funny and told me that's never mattered before."

I took this as the universe giving me a sign, so I told her she should text him, reassuring her that neither of us had to do anything we weren't comfortable with, essentially giving her a hall pass. After a few texts, he invited the two of us to come down to the hot tub and have some drinks and chill, so she donned her bikini and we headed down.

It was just the 3 of us in the hot tub. We sat for what seemed like hours just chatting and enjoying ourselves. He was a natural flirt, and although she had her hand firmly on my thigh under the water, I could see her making eyes at him. I already knew he was attractive, it was undeniable. After a while (and once I was aroused by my fiance flirting with another man while touching me), I decided to take my leave, telling her she was welcome to stay if she wanted. She obliged and I returned to the room, showered, and got ready for bed.

Not long after, I got a phone call from her stating that Jack had invited her to his room for a nightcap and that she was going. I nervously told her to have fun.

At 3am, I heard the door open and she crawled into the bed and kissed me. Her breath smelled like cock, but not in a bad way. I was aroused immediately. I asked how it was and she would only tell me that she made a mess (she squirts). I crawled between her legs, her pussy was still open and puffy from arousal. The taste was exquisite, as usual, with just a taste of what had been in there (no cum though). I brought her to orgasm with my mouth, then proceeded to bury myself inside of her since he had already done most of the work. Because she was already opened up from arousal and being fucked, I was able to last a little longer than usual.

It was amazing and I'm still processing it.

That’s really great congrats keep up the journey

[DaveS]

A much belated congrats!

[snoogaloo82]

Congratulations!!!

[Blackjack4724]

I know we are late to the party in replying but good for you guys. Sounds as if everyone has a happy ending….pun intended. Hope you guys can keep the momentum up and she can find another guy to have fun with. Congratulations and glad you’re both happy!!

[tnalphacuck]

Great post! It's amazing how these little opportunities spring up once you are open to them.

I came to the same conclusion via therapy that the fantasy is a coping mechanism + porn usage. My therapist made no comments or suggestions on what to do about that. I find myself stuck in this place of wanting to focus on 'healing' these past relational traumas and dropping all porn/roleplay to see if the desire to engage in hotwifing goes away.

Did you consider this path or did your therapist make any comments on that sort of approach?

Thanks for sharing your experience and glad it worked out!

I considered it. My therapist would've said not to then and has since cautioned me about getting into this lifestyle. He believes it only ends badly.

[Shiphead]

Congratulations.
Although it seems to havebhappened accidentally without much pre-planning, I think you did things perfectly.
You both kept everything up front and open. You and especially your woman communicated every step of the way so you could say something if it didn't feel right.
Great job to both of you.

[RHotwife1981]

Are you and she still active in the LS? I try to keeps tabs on couples similar to my wife and I because I worry about the sustainability of it all. We haven’t taken the plunge, by the way