Has a lover ever tried to literally steal your wife from you?

[Jezza2543]

No, he does not know that I know. She is having an affair but with my full encouragement!

[hwc]

Thanks for the reply. Do you feel very jealous or suffer angst? Do you want to also push her further into his arms? Would love to hear a well rounded description of the emotional dynamic of where ou are now, how you got here and where you would like it to go..

[CoupleFun555]

We have not experienced a man trying to convince her to stay with him. Most have been pretty experienced in the lifestyle. Plus, we have a great time together in and out of the bedroom in so many different ways. And, the guys she meets realize pretty quickly that he (the husband) is confident and sure of himself.

[MrsSizzlesHubby]

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: He tried. Belittling me to my wife as a tactic while at the same time being known to her as a player who will never quit playing doomed his attempt to failure though.

Of course, it helped a whole bunch that she loves all of me and only loved certain parts of him.

[blind sided hubby]

When a man lets his wife sleep around he has to expect others will try to take her from him . The lovers may consider the husband to be weak because she is sleeping with other men. He may feel he can dominate the wife because she claims to love him or says he is superior in bed to hubby.
The only way to combat this is to be up front with the wife and show her that you are number 1 , not some back seat wise guy .

[MarknSusan]

I had a very unique opportunity to catch one of my wife’s lovers (her first love) attempting to steal her away. We were skinny dipping in our pool one night and they were both after each other making out so I just left them alone. I couldn’t really hear what he said but at one point I heard Susan say “I would never leave Mark, he gave me three beautiful sons and I love him”. A bit later I heard him ask were I was and I was at the far end of the pool observing them I answered “I’m right here”. So they both obviously knew that I heard them.

I discussed what happened the next day with Susan and she confirmed that he tried to steal her away. We have a very stable loving relationship and i never felt threatened by anyone trying to get between us. It didn’t adversely affect our relationship with him and we remained good friends and Susan continued having sex with him for years after that situation.

There was another situation that I suspect his feelings got in the way again a few years after that. We were staying at his condo for a golf outing with him and after we all went to sleep that night Susan went into his room and had sex with him, then returned to our room. In the morning when I asked her what happened and why she didn’t spend the night with him she said something like “he wanted to get all romantic and I just wanted to fuck him”.

[RemMb36+]

I had watched this topic with interest as my wife seemed to have a deeper connection with her first lover. He lives 700 miles away and would only be around three or four times a year.
He just left heading home and we are trying to get him out of my wife's mind.
From the beginning, he seemed to control her. Their first time together and he pushed her into letting him go down on her - something she rejected from me since her hysterectomy, over two years ago.
Then he held her face and fucked her mouth, making her swallow. Never in 22 years has she allowed me to do that.
They texted, emailed or called almost every day during the nearly three months apart.
He asked her to come home with him. His wife is ok with an open marriage.
She is finally done with him, but I don't know if she can do it.

[SSQ]

Your wife is not an object. She can't be stolen.

[superb101]

She is finally done with him, but I don't know if she can do it.


Curious what makes you say that

[Greg_N_Shelley]

Smooth sailing for us as a couple. Everyone stayed in their lane. Part of that could be because we almost always played together. The only guy Shelley played solo with was a regular FWB that we knew well after several years. And he was always conscious of his role as "bull," and its limits, in our playtime games.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

When a man lets his wife sleep around he has to expect others will try to take her from him . The lovers may consider the husband to be weak because she is sleeping with other men. He may feel he can dominate the wife because she claims to love him or says he is superior in bed to hubby.

I agree with you on the first statement. In my opinion, the best way to avoid that issue is begin with guys who respect the limits of their role and genuinely appreciate their good fortune to be fucking an amazing hotwife. In our case, we always sought guys who were experienced previously with other couples. Judging from bad stories I've read on here over the years, it seems most of the trouble that comes up on this front involves guys who wives meet/know during daily life or meet through chance encounters.

The only way to combat this is to be up front with the wife and show her that you are number 1 , not some back seat wise guy .

I disagree on the second statement. If a wife isn't naturally clear (mentally & emotionally) about her first loyalty to her husband, she is isn't suited for this sport of ours. Period. IMHO, if a guy feels he needs to "...show her that you are number 1, not some back seat wise guy," the foundation is already weak.

[Tryagain]

I cant find it.. maybe OHW deletes old threads? It was from a few years ago.

Basically.. this guy was a barfly loser nut smooth talker.. one of those charismatic guys that know how to talk. Wife really liked it and i did too.. at first. He kept taking wife out more and more... Like 4 days a week sometimes. We had really small kids at that time; 3 and 4? We had him over a few times.. one time wife was wearing really tight shorts and I slapped her ass and he told her he got "really jealous" when I did that. He would constantly tell her he was "one call away"..

Finally one day we were at our hose drinking and smoking up.. having a good time and they go upstairs to fuck and I walked int to the bedroom and he got pissed, told her to get dresed and they were going to his place. Wife got half dressed and he drove to his place to fuck her completely, smashed and drunk. I called it and said I want you never to see him again, and she did any way which drove me crazy. I threatened to go to his place to see him personally.. Anyway, many years later.. after I kept telling my wife "hes trying to pull you away" She admitted he gave her that ultimatum.

Ended up having 2 years or so worth of marital problems between us.. we went to therapy, there were huge arguments. To be honest the relationship we have now is because if him

I'm sorry to hear your history. Mine is similar but ended in divorce. There are some bad choices out there that will try to take your wife.
I am surprised at the number of responses that affirm this!

XY

Whenever I hear stories like this, the problem results because the HW and the guy carry on their own relationship apart from the husband. Solo fucking is the cause. My wife is gorgeous but we have always done 3 somes together. There has never been a hint of trying to "steal" her.

[johnstevens555]

Your wife is not an object. She can't be stolen.

I don’t think this is a serious answer.

[RemMb36+]

She is finally done with him, but I don't know if she can do it.


Curious what makes you say that

Because I think he's very good at manipulating people. He had asked to drive her car (I don't have that privilege) she refused but he groped her while she was trying to drive and he drove the rest of the way.
Their first time, he got her to do things she doesn't do with me. Is she strong enough to walk away, to cut off communication with him. I'm not sure.

[superb101]

I see! I don't know her so I won't speculate. Lots of things she needs to understand before she goes down any path but staying with you!

[veub]

Your wife is not an object. She can't be stolen.

I don’t think this is a serious answer.

SSQ, is completely correct.

[SSQ]

Your wife is not an object. She can't be stolen.

I don’t think this is a serious answer.

I am 100% serious.

People have agency. You cannot steal a person, short of literal kidnapping. That person CHOOSES to go. They're an adult who makes their own decisions. Put the blame where it belongs.

[54321]

The question was. "Has a lover tried..."

The question is not about a woman's agency or lack of it. It is about a third's behaviour.

54321

[Greg_N_Shelley]

Your wife is not an object. She can't be stolen.

I don’t think this is a serious answer.

I am 100% serious.

People have agency. You cannot steal a person, short of literal kidnapping. That person CHOOSES to go. They're an adult who makes their own decisions. Put the blame where it belongs.

[SimpleEnigma]

None of my lovers have tried to 'woo' me away from Simple in the traditional sense but there have a been a few who developed deep enough feelings that we had to permanently part ways. If you play as long as we have - and are as promiscuous as I once was - one of these types of men are bound to enter your life. Contrary to common beliefs, men do in fact fall in love with FWBs, even though it's made clear to them there is no romantic future in it. Love + sex is a force to be reckoned with and can become very messy when dealing with a emotional situation that ends badly for an otherwise alpha male. It is one of the darker sides of the LS - along with stalkers - that folks on these forums rarely talk about, but are a reality nonetheless. I guess that's because we are too busy celebrating the good things about how we choose to live our lives.

Lauren

[LongTermHubby]

My wife once had a long-term lover who wanted her to leave me. She broke up with him after telling him it wasn't going to happen.

[BrunetteLover]

Lime. Cuts out the stink. So the coyotes don't dig him up.

[littleguy1969]

My wife's lover was her work husband. After a year of going out, they talked about her getting pregnant and also her possibly spending more time with him. He was going through a divorce and was looking for another partner. She flirted with the idea but, according to her, never seriously considered it. She had fun and endless orgasms on their work trips, but always came back to me.

[JRE2]

My wife's playmates were all 15-25 years younger than her, she had a hysterectomy so there was never a shared desire to create a family. They had an older woman fetish, and she was only interested in the sexual prowess of much younger men. She dd fall in love with one of the young men, but it was in a poly way, not a traditional man-wife situation like her marriage to me. His habit of texting and driving put an end to even that when he wrapped his Jeep around a tree.

[goodjob]

None of my lovers have tried to 'woo' me away from Simple in the traditional sense but there have a been a few who developed deep enough feelings that we had to permanently part ways. If you play as long as we have - and are as promiscuous as I once was - one of these types of men are bound to enter your life. Contrary to common beliefs, men do in fact fall in love with FWBs, even though it's made clear to them there is no romantic future in it. Love + sex is a force to be reckoned with and can become very messy when dealing with a emotional situation that ends badly for an otherwise alpha male. It is one of the darker sides of the LS - along with stalkers - that folks on these forums rarely talk about, but are a reality nonetheless. I guess that's because we are too busy celebrating the good things about how we choose to live our lives.

Lauren

I wasn't going to reply to this until I looked at your profile and saw that you are still active on the site.

I think you hit the nail on the head. This is one of the topics (emotions and stalkers) that would be great to have as a resource for everyone. Situations that worked out in the end and those that did not. We can all learn from other's successes and failures. You can find different stories within different threads but I haven't seen anything dedicated to those experiences. Maybe I just overlooked it.