My Girlfriend And Cheating

[BakersDozen101]

Hi. My girlfriend cheats on me. We've been together for four years. She is my best friend, loyal, honest, and a loving woman before our problems took hold. My wife was practically non-sexual before cheating on me once two years ago, encouraged by a friend of hers while they were watching a football game. They soon started a relationship but kept it secret for me. They would be together while I was asleep in bed. All unknown to me. Her behavior changed massively over this time: impatient, dissatisfied, and generally being annoyed with me and everything else. These were signs but I failed to see the cause. I often thought she was having a mid-life crisis or experiencing some kind of depression.

The night I found out she was entangled with another man, was the night I was preparing for our anniversary. She went out to buy dinner and came home intoxicated. She lied and denied everything. We had an explosive argument and, shamefully, I threw a cup at her. She was enraged and left!

She went to stay with a friend who she didn't have any sexual relations with. During her period away, her behavior became worse. She hated me, blamed me for everything and said that even her doing worse in school was apparently "all my fault." She tried to move on, messaging my family members, telling them that we had been separated ages ago and how I was abusive and didn't love her. (This woman adored me. Even her friends said so. She called me roughly four times a day, every day, just to talk to me and see how I was doing, during the whole of our relationship.)

We went to the movies one night and a friend she knew was there. They made regular trips to the bathroom. I could go on and on! Despite most of these occurrences, she didn't think she was doing anything wrong. Maybe it could have been a bit of an issue but she was the victim. I could see the horror on her face whenever I suggested she hurt my feelings. To her, cheaters were married people who had affairs, not her. This caused me great upset, as if this wasn't her fault, that meant these were all choices.

She went to live with her mom even further away. Being far away from me made her realize what she was missing. She got a job and trained hard at the gym but we never spoke about her issues. She came back and stayed with me for six months, just in time for me to buy an engagement ring. She was amazing. She went back to being the great girlfriend that I knew. I was so happy that I had the old her back.

Two weeks before Christmas, she slipped up. She apparently was offered to help a guy she knew at his house with emotional trouble he had. I was devastated. She didn't come home and confess. She lied straight away and this time she couldn't convince me. I know something was up.

He spent the next few weeks at our house and I in our garage. She wouldn't let me in the house because she didn't want me accusing her. Especially now that she was trying to get her life together and was going through a rough patch, my negative energy was our biggest problem.

The bit that hurt me the most was during one of these reckless nights, she didn't come home to come with me to a friend's birthday. I found her slumped in the pub, alone with a bartender. She apparently told him that he was an attractive guy! Not in a pervy way. He said it was said in conversation but she was also missing her engagement ring. When I asked her why, she denied everything. She said her ring was off because she went out and swore on her mother's life. She's not the sort of person to lie, at all! So again it confused me.

She then confessed to saying the comment in hopes that he'd flirt back, to make her feel good about herself, as I'm always threatening her. She feels like a scumbag at the best of times. I've said horrible things to her in the past that has made her feel insecure. When I once had a temper, I told her she wasn't attractive to me. That was in anger because she was behaving appallingly but it seemed to stay in her head.

She still swore she would never cheat though and that she loves me more than anything. I think she's doing this because she knows with me now, she can no longer hide her behavior. I will eventually catch on. However, she said, "You don't think when you're with other people. There's no logic behind it. You just act out what you're feeling at the time. Every time you feel differently."

It's all so confusing for me. I just wish she'd go back to the woman she was before. It's a horrible to see someone you love, go self-destruct and there's nothing you can do for them.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum BakersDozen101.

[afagehi7]

Time to move on amigo. It's broken beyond repair. You both need a fresh start.

Unless she can be truthful and you both go to marriage counseling then you're just prolonging the inevitable. She has to be honest and not cheat, come clean and you both work on it. You have to apologize and start treating her like a person who you love. It's a long road with lots of hard work. Easier to just start new... But if you're willing to do the hard work, it's not impossible but you BOTH have to be ready and willing to do the hard work.

She seems like a dumpster fire... I wouldn't want the risk as past behaviors indicate future performance. One guy here was able to bring it back recently... So it's possible but they both wanted it and both worked really hard, went to individual and marriage counseling.

[impo64]

"My girlfriend cheats on me"...then: "My wife was practically non-sexual before cheating on me"...Before writing you must decide what she is: girlfriend or wife...because isn't the same to end a relationship being just a girlfriend or being a wife...

[subbieCuck]

Welcome to our forum mate but I suspect it is not us what you are looking for. This is a forum for ppl who like their wife having extra marriage affairs.

[BakersDozen101]

Maybe I should have prefaced this? I thought it would be more fun to not be explicit. But this is fiction. I am not married nor have a wife but thought this would be a fun read for those guys who liked imagining their wife cheating on them. I know lots of guys here enjoy the idea of being cucked overtly and living through the angst of the process, which I do too, but I also love a guy getting cheated on behind his back and being too stupid to know! Hahah Thanks for the kind messages though and good advice. This indeed would be toxic and I'd for sure be out of there if this were me (unless I was really turned on. Hmmm) !

[afagehi7]

Maybe I should have prefaced this? I thought it would be more fun to not be explicit. But this is fiction. I am not married nor have a wife but thought this would be a fun read for those guys who liked imagining their wife cheating on them. I know lots of guys here enjoy the idea of being cucked overtly and living through the angst of the process, which I do too, but I also love a guy getting cheated on behind his back and being too stupid to know! Hahah Thanks for the kind messages though and good advice. This indeed would be toxic and I'd for sure be out of there if this were me (unless I was really turned on. Hmmm) !

We like fiction stories but you have to tell us it's fiction or post in the library. You can ask a mod to move it if you want.

If you pose it as fiction, we'll comment differently.