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[jacobmy]

Back in the early 70s there was precious little information about alternate lifestyles. The historical definition of a cuckold, i.e. a man whose wife lays with another, seemed to be the best fit.

I enjoyed my then wife parting her legs on nights out with the girls but my end game was always to be having other women. She was however insecure so I had to do things in stages. First was getting her to fuck guys and tell me about it, all the time hoping her jealousy would abate and she would suggest swapping or me having other women.

In the meantime I occasionally cheated, most notably with one of her sisters.

Eventually she came around and we progressed to swapping and then having an open marriage which lasted some time before she fell for a lover.

So quite where I should place myself using more modern terms because at various times: I was cuckolded, we both cheated, she was shared, we swapped with other couples, we had an open marriage and so forth...

[SilverStag]

Don't worry about the labels. Every experience is unique in at least one way.

[mychubbyhotwife]

"My wife and I like to have sex. Sometimes with other people. Wanna play?" Sometimes a simple explanation is better than confusing labels that mean many things to many people.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

While I would say that we are technically cuckolds, where most of us sit depends on where our marriages and relationships are at the time we write.

Like you, I would fit the technical definition of a cuckold. My wife has lain with another man.

But within our cuckold community, cuckolds (and their wives) like to make distinctions about whether humiliation or denial is involved (cuck vs. stag), about whether the husband is getting some pussy while she’s getting some dick in a shared setting (swinging), or perhaps an unshared setting with limited or no knowledge (cheating), about a setting that boasts of throuples and couples openly loving and sharing one another sexually (polyamory).

So far as I can tell, the wife in ALL of these situations and scenarios is referred to as a “hotwife,” and it is our hotwives who bind all of our nuanced relationships together…..giving this website an apropos URL.

I don’t think the labels matter that much since we’re all cucked (or wannabe cucks) or perhaps a hotwife in one way or another.

I don’t mean to paint things too broadly or too narrowly, so I would encourage others to please feel free to chime in if I need some correction or clarification.

Let’s rejoice in our cuckoldry and hotwifery, no matter the form it happens to take today, as we hit that “Submit” button.

[rodturn]

Shelikeswheniwatch
Gotta love the handle !
I agree with your post….would add that for most things are always evolving..for better or worse….and everyone is different
I’m not into cages or humiliation or pain but there are a lot who love that style…. Just like there are a lot of people who would divorce their wife if he saw his wife sucking another man’s cock… for me, that ( along with verbal description) is the most erotic thing there is…. I can’t explain it and am glad I don’t have to… what I do have to do is enjoy it with my wife and I do that very well!…not worried about terminology … just fortunate that my wife and I both get to enjoy our sex life the way we do…. Not for everyone but it’s perfect for us.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

Some 30+ years ago, when my wife and I married, I would have told you that you’re out of your fucking mind if you thought I’d willingly stand by while another man had sex with my wife. I was “fiercely monogamous,” and I expected as much from her. (In one immature episode, I got pissed once that she forgot her wedding ring on the dresser when we went out. I turned the car around so she could run and get it. I used to be intensely jealous when other men would look at her and think they had a shot.)

Then, life happened.

She had feelings and urges that she found difficult to resist. I also had “wonderings” that led me to places in my mind I hadn’t known existed. I’m just glad that we were communicative and open-minded at that point. My! How far we had come!

Fortunately, we talked about it instead of stuffing it deep down and suppressing it. After much soul-searching, I eventually told her that I’d be thrilled if she decided to take a lover, and I’d be bonkers if she’d ever give me the privilege of watching her make love to another man. (It had become a kink for me. I couldn’t stop wondering how much she would enjoy another man’s affection and, eventually, cock.)

At first, she was repulsed by the idea. It was so contrary to the way we were both brought up that it was almost unimaginable.

But over time, the idea grew on her. She began to wonder, too. She became excited at the prospect of safely exploring intimacy and emotion with someone else while I remained faithful and loyal to her. It was something BOTH of us wanted to do.

There are all sorts of details that come to mind as we navigated our desires. I’ve written ad nauseam about them on this website. Watching her develop feelings for another man? Check. All of the sordid details one might imagine as another man uses his cock to make your wife cum…and then cums in her himself? Check. Eventually (about a year after they began) being invited to watch? Check. And many years later, when the three of us were completely comfortable with our situation, the “after-party” (sloppy seconds)? Check.

But the journey has never included a deliberate foray into the humiliative aspects of the lifestyle we were exploring. It has always been about experiencing pleasure for her…for me…and even for her lover. Thus, I would technically consider myself to be a nonhumiliated cuck…..a stag. She has never denied me access beyond the usual that all couples undoubtedly experience….”I’m so tired tonight. Can we wait until tomorrow?” …the usual stuff! For my part, I have no desire to be with another woman (unless I were to have my wife’s excitement, happiness, and eager approval for HER satisfaction).

I guess that would technically make her a vixen.

We totally understand couples who take it to the next step with humiliation and denial, but we don’t think we’re built for that. Kudos to the folks who go there, but we just don’t think it’s for us right now.

The point is that we have been exceptionally communicative over the years, and that has allowed us to trust each other.

We are acutely and painfully aware of how far outside of the norm our relationship is, so we try to keep it hidden from everyone we know. No need for that bullshit stress! (Vanillas just don’t understand, and many of them sit in a judgment that affects so many other aspects of our lives. They are scared by what they do not understand.)

We have enjoyed ourselves immensely for 17+ years of our 30+year marriage…….more than half our married life together. We don’t intend to stop, but she hasn’t ruled it out, either. Just last night, we talked for a long time. I asked her if she’d want to stop should her current boyfriend fall away for whatever reason. She said she didn’t know, but but she leans toward “yes, it’s time to bring this part of our lives to an end.” She says, of course, that we’d cross that bridge together if it ever presented itself.

I’m okay with that. I want her to be happy. I’m glad I got to share her. I’m glad her two boyfriends (so far) have had a chance to enjoy her loveliness. I’m glad she feels good with being shared. It’s always been about the journey, not the destination. We are comfortable in our own skin. I have no doubt we will be married for another 30+ years, boyfriend or none.