Love watching her humiliated

[SammySigns]

I've noticed I have no interest in the traditional cuckold side of things. But I do really get off on the idea of my wife being humiliated. Not like actually humiliated, but doing things that most people would find humiliating. Like sucking a guy off and swallowing his cum in front of other people. Obviously, that kind of thing is also humiliating for me, but not directly?

Anyone else get off on that kind of activity or similar?

[Tank Turner]

I never realized how common humiliation was until we found this site.

My wife and I believe that sex should be mutually enjoyable. Neither of us have humiliated anyone. Neither of us have participated in degrading or dehumanizing sex.

My wife and her sister love to be naked. My wife did a nude beach with two guys, once with a male friend and the following year a lot with her then boyfriend.

My wife told me right after I met her that nudity was normal and natural. She told me that sex was a normal and natural human function.

My wife loves to be watched while she's porn starring. She knew roommates of college boyfriends watched her while she fucked her boyfriends. They didn't know that she knew that they were watching. It turned her on to be watched. So she put on porn performances for the roommates. She's also a voyeur when appropriate, but she's more into being watched.

As long as everyone agrees, sex for orgasmic euphoria and as a porn performance is not humiliating.

[Tank Turner]

Hi SensualDeviant,

Thanks for clarifying that for me. I have no experience with BDSM dynamics. We have done bondage. My wife likes it more than I do. She's sexually submissive by nature. I am not into bondage because it limits sexual activities. I like her fully mobile so I can position her as I choose, which is usually bent over our bed or a variation of rear entry. Rear entry is her favorite position because it gives her deep penetration, and she can rub out orgasms while I'm banging her.

I completely agree with you about assuring women are always safe and comfortable during sex. Women seem to be most vulnerable during sex.

By a huge margin, my wife is the most sexually confident woman I have experienced. However, she's a woman. Like most women, she interprets words and actions through an emotional filter before they arrive at her reason and logic faculties. She's good with ass slapping, hair pulling, neck grabbing, etc. She's loves dirty talk during sex or as foreplay. She has a porn star fantasy with limits. She does not like hurtful pain. She would not be good with negative comments about her body or her sexual skills.

[SammySigns]

Yeah I don't actually want her to feel bad. Her being turned on is the biggest turn on for me. But I'm also turned on by her being submissive, slutty, and used up.

[bradisalpha]

I've noticed I have no interest in the traditional cuckold side of things. But I do really get off on the idea of my wife being humiliated. Not like actually humiliated, but doing things that most people would find humiliating. Like sucking a guy off and swallowing his cum in front of other people. Obviously, that kind of thing is also humiliating for me, but not directly?

Anyone else get off on that kind of activity or similar?

I believe Humiliation is in the eyes of of the beholder. It really depends on the situation.

I wouldn’t think a woman sucking a guy off and swallowing his cum in front of people would be humiliating.. I think that would be very hot !! Although, if she was made to do it against her will, it would be humiliating.

As a BF, when I am fucking someone’s wife while her cuckold husband is restrained and watching, he would feel humiliated.. (which, by the way, I enjoy).

Just sayin…

Brad

[SammySigns]

I've noticed I have no interest in the traditional cuckold side of things. But I do really get off on the idea of my wife being humiliated. Not like actually humiliated, but doing things that most people would find humiliating. Like sucking a guy off and swallowing his cum in front of other people. Obviously, that kind of thing is also humiliating for me, but not directly?

Anyone else get off on that kind of activity or similar?

I believe Humiliation is in the eyes of of the beholder. It really depends on the situation.

I wouldn’t think a woman sucking a guy off and swallowing his cum in front of people would be humiliating.. I think that would be very hot !! Although, if she was made to do it against her will, it would be humiliating.


Brad

It is super hot! One time, she was on a girl's trip out of town and hanging out at a bar. They were hanging out with some people and my wife ended up going home with a couple for a threeway. That definitely prompted some questions from her friends.

A couple years later our family was at a bar and our waiter ended up being one of the people she was hanging out with. He probably wondered why this mom and wife was having a threeway with some randoms from a bar.

[bltn1966]

My little wife is candid, witty and outspoken. Sexually speaking, she’s multi-orgasmic and very vocal. I felt something was wrong with me because I love seeing her get put into place. I remember her ribbing a young FB about being a country boy. She joked about him good in bed because he “practiced” with farm animals. After one too many jokes the guy chased after my wife. (It was all in a playful manner of course.) He ripped her from my arms when she ran to me for protection. Threw her onto the bed, bent her over and grudge fuck the living daylights out of her. The guy made my wife apologize for all the things she said. When she apologized he roughly pushed her head, face first, into the mattress and grudge fucked her again. My wife looked relieved but somewhat disappointed when the guy abruptly stopped. My wife playfully cursed me out for not rescuing her from the guy. But, that’s when I realize how much I love seeing her humiliated. She has a strong outgoing personality. It’s only right that I would love seeing humiliated.

[SammySigns]

My little wife is candid, witty and outspoken. Sexually speaking, she’s multi-orgasmic and very vocal. I felt something was wrong with me because I love seeing her get put into place. I remember her ribbing a young FB about being a country boy. She joked about him good in bed because he “practiced” with farm animals. After one too many jokes the guy chased after my wife. (It was all in a playful manner of course.) He ripped her from my arms when she ran to me for protection. Threw her onto the bed, bent her over and grudge fuck the living daylights out of her. The guy made my wife apologize for all the things she said. When she apologized he roughly pushed her head, face first, into the mattress and grudge fucked her again. My wife looked relieved but somewhat disappointed when the guy abruptly stopped. My wife playfully cursed me out for not rescuing her from the guy. But, that’s when I realize how much I love seeing her humiliated. She has a strong outgoing personality. It’s only right that I would love seeing humiliated.

Hot! The first time for us she kinda sorta owed a guy a blowjob for losing a game of pool. Eventually, he was balls deep and she was orgasming and apologizing for losing the pool game at the same time

[bltn1966]

I'm not into grudge fucks or angry make up sex at all. If you disrespect me or the people I love, or if you're antagonistic or a brat, I want nothing at all to do with you.

I'm also not into strong women who need to be taken and put in her place. Offer me your gift of submission because that is your disposition and desire, but don't make me chase you or play tug of war.

Again…it was a playful manner. The young man tried to rib my wife back but he couldn’t keep up with my wife’s sharp tongue. Not sure what I expected him to do when he was chasing her. But, I knew he wasn’t going to physically hurt her. However I definitely didn’t expected him to grudge fuck her in front of me. NOR DID MY WIFE. When he slipped his dick in and started slamming her my wife looked at me as if she didn’t want me to look at her. Then right before she had a body shaking orgasm, she looked at me as if she was saying sorry for what was about to happen.

She was humiliated because up until then she didn’t think she would ever have sex in front of me. Now this guy is long stroking the shit out of her in front of me and there is nothing she can do about it. AND SHE WAS ENJOYING IT.

[bltn1966]

So if a lady laughs at the way your leg twitched when she sucked your cock it’s a turn-off? Or mimics the sounds you make when you cum? Lighten up my man. One time My wife jokingly told an older gentleman “slow down before your old ass have a heart attack”. That guy put her legs on his shoulder and commenced to pounding her hard as possible for the next few minutes. He definitely made her eat her words and she enjoyed every minute of it.


Another guy had sex with her in some crazy positions. So now whenever my wife see him in public she playfully start stretching and doing calisthenics. She told him she’s getting ready for the next time they get together. That’s some good ribbing. I love it.

[steve_x]

This is an interesting example of humiliation. I would never consider watching my SO perform oral humiliating, and an audience is half the fun of the club.

She's become much more confident in her skin from all this and loves being seen.

[bradisalpha]

No. I do not want to be intimate with any woman who disrespects me.

If you disrespect me, you're cut out of my life. Simple as that. My dignity is that valuable to me.

We’ve got it.. you want a floor mat !! You're a hard ass !! You’ve convinced us !! And we will respect your choices as soon as you respect ours !!

Brad

[SammySigns]

This is an interesting example of humiliation. I would never consider watching my SO perform oral humiliating, and an audience is half the fun of the club.

She's become much more confident in her skin from all this and loves being seen.

What if it's not at the club?

[steve_x]

What if it's not at the club?

I'm sure we could work up the specifics of a humiliating situation. It just felt like OP considers it humiliating in the general sense and maybe we need to put some criteria around what the draw is.

[JeffCA]

I've noticed I have no interest in the traditional cuckold side of things. But I do really get off on the idea of my wife being humiliated. Not like actually humiliated, but doing things that most people would find humiliating. Like sucking a guy off and swallowing his cum in front of other people. Obviously, that kind of thing is also humiliating for me, but not directly?

Anyone else get off on that kind of activity or similar?

sammysigns, you raise an interesting question. Plenty of couples enjoy the lifestyle so another man can use the wife really hard or dominantly. Sure, a married couple may have a husband and wife that have D/S sex, but some don't and they enjoy bringing other people in to experience it. Glad you brought up the this topic.

[EightBits]

Great topic! I think that, at least in some fashion, is pretty common in the hotwife realm.

As JeffCA points out, for some people hotwifing, or even sometimes swinging, can be about getting a style that the wife doesn't get from the husband. That does not have to mean that the husband is lacking of course, it may just not be his thing. Or, it may be impossible, such as a gang-bang. Tough for any guy, no matter how studly, to do that all on his own!

Sometimes the humiliation can be just doing something that the wife (and maybe the husband) considers to be proper only with her husband.
"Get down there and suck my cock" can feel quite different when it's a stranger and not her husband "ordering" the wife around.
(Ordering in a role-playing way, not violating consent etc.)

Even just being called a "sexy slut" can play differently. Husband might say those words with affectionate familiarity, but a stranger that picked her up in a bar is probably neither affectionate or familiar, so some level of humiliation is implied.

[EightBits]

Lol, just realized I didn't really answer the original question. Yes, some of us definitely do find that humiliation hot in the right context.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum EightBits.

[SammySigns]

What if it's not at the club?

I'm sure we could work up the specifics of a humiliating situation. It just felt like OP considers it humiliating in the general sense and maybe we need to put some criteria around what the draw is.

This was a million years ago but one time she and her friends were out partying and brought home a couple guys. Her friend fell asleep and one of the guys was trying to get my girlfriend at the time to blow him. She didn't, but I always thought how hot it would be if she did, and even more, if her friend woke up and caught her doing it.

[WatchinginNJ]

Two women in my life liked what I would call "Letting Go".

College girlfriend and I had a lot of threesomes with single guys. One time we were taking a shower together and we found out she liked golden showers. Sitting around relaxing after a session with a single dude, I joked matter-of-factly that she liked golden showers. She flushed red from head to toe, and was like "why would you tell him that?"

I mean, he was just a dude she got done banging after picking him up at a line dancing place? What's the harm from there.

A bit of nudging and I told him to take her to the shower and see for himself. She reluctantly agreed, and they had fun with it. Later she told me that the whole thing was surreal. She was super embarrassed, yet wanted to do it once he knew. For her it was about letting her secret out that she could do that. It became a common thing in our play time after.

The other woman, my longest hotwife experience and most intense came from a lot of things. She was a super type A who is a total "Boss Lady" type. Super smart, highly educated, a master of her field and highly respected. Never got less than an A in any class etc. She was very ambitious, and while I haven't had contact with her in 20+ years, I've seen some occasional things that she has been quite successful.

But all that had a dark side. She hated the anxiety of always feeling like she had to be the best or get the best marks. Plus she was a typical book worm / nerdy girl. She was more of a "Diane Chambers" type (she had more than a passing resemblance to her, including small boobs), as opposed to a Pam Anderson type, and I don't think that she came into her body and style until grad school.

When we started down the hotwife path, it was prompted by an exhibitionist streak she had. I brought her to a nude beach. It was a huge fight after. Her insecurity and me surprising her with it turned into a major row. But somewhere in that, she kept telling me, there's no way I can do that, it would be so embarrassing. But then the next weekend she was like, "Well, I guess you're going to make me go there again?" Even though I didn't want that fight again, she kept asking if I was going to take her. It dawned on me, she wants to go. She did the same thing at the beach. "Well, are you going to make me go topless even though I have small boobs?" I told her to get undressed and she did, all while saying "I can't believe you're making me do this"

That evolved eventually into her basically taking a pretty passive roll in the whole thing. Some deep pillow talk as we progressed she basically admitted, she like the loss of control because her whole life is about being in control. She said its so much easier to do those things when she felt it wasn't her decision. We did the exhibitionism thing and it came out about her stranger fantasy. Again, she was like "I could never do it", but once I told her to? She was full speed ahead. She loved the fact that she was this prim and proper professional yet had this hidden side that would sleep with a guy minutes after meeting him.

[NorthOpen]

Two women in my life liked what I would call "Letting Go".

College girlfriend and I had a lot of threesomes with single guys. One time we were taking a shower together and we found out she liked golden showers. Sitting around relaxing after a session with a single dude, I joked matter-of-factly that she liked golden showers. She flushed red from head to toe, and was like "why would you tell him that?"

I mean, he was just a dude she got done banging after picking him up at a line dancing place? What's the harm from there.

A bit of nudging and I told him to take her to the shower and see for himself. She reluctantly agreed, and they had fun with it. Later she told me that the whole thing was surreal. She was super embarrassed, yet wanted to do it once he knew. For her it was about letting her secret out that she could do that. It became a common thing in our play time after.

The other woman, my longest hotwife experience and most intense came from a lot of things. She was a super type A who is a total "Boss Lady" type. Super smart, highly educated, a master of her field and highly respected. Never got less than an A in any class etc. She was very ambitious, and while I haven't had contact with her in 20+ years, I've seen some occasional things that she has been quite successful.

But all that had a dark side. She hated the anxiety of always feeling like she had to be the best or get the best marks. Plus she was a typical book worm / nerdy girl. She was more of a "Diane Chambers" type (she had more than a passing resemblance to her, including small boobs), as opposed to a Pam Anderson type, and I don't think that she came into her body and style until grad school.

When we started down the hotwife path, it was prompted by an exhibitionist streak she had. I brought her to a nude beach. It was a huge fight after. Her insecurity and me surprising her with it turned into a major row. But somewhere in that, she kept telling me, there's no way I can do that, it would be so embarrassing. But then the next weekend she was like, "Well, I guess you're going to make me go there again?" Even though I didn't want that fight again, she kept asking if I was going to take her. It dawned on me, she wants to go. She did the same thing at the beach. "Well, are you going to make me go topless even though I have small boobs?" I told her to get undressed and she did, all while saying "I can't believe you're making me do this"

That evolved eventually into her basically taking a pretty passive roll in the whole thing. Some deep pillow talk as we progressed she basically admitted, she like the loss of control because her whole life is about being in control. She said its so much easier to do those things when she felt it wasn't her decision. We did the exhibitionism thing and it came out about her stranger fantasy. Again, she was like "I could never do it", but once I told her to? She was full speed ahead. She loved the fact that she was this prim and proper professional yet had this hidden side that would sleep with a guy minutes after meeting him.

I had a similar experience years ago: I dated a a super successful executive in the film and television industry who specialized in the legal end of things... Professionally she was an absolute dominant, stone-cold, razor sharp bitch... But as soon as we got naked she turned into a total submissive who loved nothing better than being humiliated in every conceivable way. She said the same thing: I am responsible for so many demanding decisions all day everyday, I just love the release that comes with "letting go". Go figure.

[frank12]

Yep, that's quite understandable SD, and there are so many women who really only feel truly comfortable when they can be their submissive selves. The ones like NorthOpen encountered are quite different. I've known and enjoyed women near both of the ends of that spectrum. There were some early experiences with two women who were definitely the "all prim and proper and in-charge" to most of the world but willing and eager to have their submissiveness be "released" in private - and I've thoroughly enjoyed others who could barely tolerate men who did not have that sense of assured control - comfortable only when expressing a submissive side. Most, of course, are somewhere in between I think.

Overall, I prefer indulging the submissive fantasies of the ones who are smart and sharp of mind, and that has only a small correlation with formal education or with either end of the aforementioned spectrum. Whether a PhD, CEO, nurse, teacher or the classic stay at home wife and mom type, when they enjoy offering themselves up to "embarrassments" "humiliations" or other forms of submission the sharper, creative minds are the most fun as playmates and taking the time to discover just exactly which buttons to push to take her there is a rewarded pleasure.

[SammySigns]

In porn it is pretty popular for guys to finish on a girl's face or in her mouth. Is that because people like to watch a woman degraded or humiliated?

[WatchinginNJ]

There were some early experiences with two women who were definitely the "all prim and proper and in-charge" to most of the world but willing and eager to have their submissiveness be "released" in private...

Still not my kink.

Overall, I prefer indulging the submissive fantasies of the ones who are smart and sharp of mind...

Submissiveness is not inversely correlated with either learnedness or intelligence.

I whole heartedly agree. But I'd add the caveat from my own anecdotal examples that intelligence did play a huge roll in its execution.

The college girlfriend I spoke of? She was fun and liked to party. She struggled as an average student in school. But for her, the experience was simple. She liked being "nasty". There were no head games.

The "Doctor" girlfriend? Well her's was just as much about the emotional turmoil and path to it, as it was about the submission in progress. In BDSM terms, a lot of the scene was the ramp up to the sex acts. She would question it, doubt it, etc. But once you told her, "Just sit back and relax, and let it happen" she would become an active participant. I think that was her getting into the right headspace.

[frank12]

In porn it is pretty popular for guys to finish on a girl's face or in her mouth. Is that because people like to watch a woman degraded or humiliated?

I'd say that many things one sees in porn are there not because they are in much of reality but for performative effect - developed for what an audience expects to see rather than what very many might actually do. As SD points out its more to "prove" ejaculation - but real participants in real life -and even observing husbands - need no similar proof to overcome the limits of cinematography production and the doubts some viewers may have. Beyond that there are untold variations of things viewers wish to imagine.

WNG also captures some of the significant differences between imagined situations and the actual realities:

The "Doctor" girlfriend? Well her's was just as much about the emotional turmoil and path to it, as it was about the submission in progress. In BDSM terms, a lot of the scene was the ramp up to the sex acts. She would question it, doubt it, etc. But once you told her, "Just sit back and relax, and let it happen" she would become an active participant. I think that was her getting into the right headspace.

That "path to it" is a good way to express what I've found I enjoy as much in preparing for playing the "embarrassment" or "humiliation" games with a woman who understands her submissiveness as I do playing out and exploring the scene. Taking the time to find out what her sensitivities are, where things are erotically edgy or exciting for her, and understanding where NOT to take things, and in particular talking through these buttons to push even as she is getting into that headspace. Those in the BDSM scene more clinically refer to this as the "negotiation" particularly where people might play together with little previous familiarity, but it happens also with a familiar playmate with whom one enjoys those occasional playtimes as well, since sometimes the scene visits different areas.

On some occasions it has been even more revealing of a woman's inner kinks to enjoy the afterglow combined with something of a debrief. Couples more often enjoy that pillow talk when they've returned home but some women enjoy post-scene analysis. Talking together about which embarrassments she found most erotic and what she really wished there had been more of can be eye opening for both of us. Looking through and discussing those all too rare but sometimes available photos or video clips of predicaments and exposures I captured during the scene is a bit of a trip all in itself.