Dare I Disturb the Universe

[HopefullyOneDay]

56 (M) married to an amazing 53(F) for almost 25 years. She is perfect in about every way. The sex isn't as often as I would like due to the buildup over the years of raising 2 kids, birth control/hormones, and now possibly heading towards menopause (yes, I know this is late for her to be starting menopause).

I have come to realize that over the past year my fantasies have been exclusively about her having sex with other men. Don't ask me why. I have never thought this way before and it is totally out of character. I have always been an "I don't share my toys" kind of guy, but now...the thought of looking into her eyes as she is thinking about or with another man drives me crazy.

About her: 5'8" slender, long copper/auburn hair, blue eyes. People think she is in her 30s and I have been asked if she is my daughter. Yes. I am a very lucky man.

She is as vanilla as they come and in day to day life dresses like a Sunday school teacher and I am the only one who knows what a great body she has. She works from home, we both do, and homeschools the last remaining teenager at home. Doesn't drink, doesn't dance, is 100% introvert.

100% happy and in love after all of these years and she isn't thinking, let alone looking, for anything else. So, if I do nothing, life goes on happily with the perfect woman.

Her backstory as she related it to me is: 1 boyfriend who became her husband for 9 years before she met me. Before I met her, she had never had her pussy eaten, never had cum in in mouth, and had only had 1 clitoral orgasm from masturbating since she "couldn't have one during sex".

If asked, she would deny having any fantasies and I believe her. If asked, she would not know the meanings of the word cuckold or hotwife. She is so prim and proper that she does not know the meaning of most vulgar or crude slang and has been upset with me over the years when I use them.

Before we married, she knew about my wilder lifestyle (compared to hers). In particular, when she learned I had participated in more than a few FFM she asked if I would expect that of her. Afraid of losing this wonderful woman I found I laughed it off and said of course not instead of asking her if she would be willing. Note: she is 100% straight and had quite a few offers from women in her days at a liberal college campus and had no interest.

About 20 years ago I would occasionally talk about swinging during sex and one time afterwards she she said "IF we were to consider it, who would we even ask?" I was caught off guard and not thinking and now thing she might have actually considered it(!), but instead tried to think of acquaintances who might interest her. She shot down every name and then said we could expand our horizons within our Christian marriage. I never brought it up again. I am still kicking myself for not suggesting we focus on what we would like instead of jumping to the "who else" question.

So, if we have talks, if we discuss things, if she would consider it...how do I manage the risks?

1) I am absolutely not looking to be a cuckold.
2) The very real factor that she would almost absolutely have to have an emotional attachment before she would have sex with someone
3) How to handle NRE
4) how to help her manage not falling in love with someone


She is an introvert and doesn't openly share feelings and emotions vocally. She feels deeply, but they come out in writing or in actions other than words. This also makes it hard to have a shared experience. Even in day to day events, I can ask her about a conversation or event and what she relays verbally is very minimal and I have to drag details out of her. So no one gets the wrong picture, she is very intelligent, she just doesn't talk and isn't good at picking up on or relaying every detail.

On top of that, I have shown a jealous streak in the past, most particularly when she makes friendships with men online. Men seem to gravitate towards her (big surprise) and she innocently chats with them, but when she chats with the same guy too often or when I am ready to go to bed and she is up for another two hours online, I tend to intervene. So, in a very few instances, she has tried to play off who she is talking to. If I casually ask what she is up to, she will respond "looking at Discord" or "answering a message" to avoid who saying who she is talking to. I have told her that avoidance, which I consider close to lying, only makes me more jealous.

So, on top of her natural introversion, she has shown a preference to keep some relationships and conversations private, admittedly because of my behavior, so communications could be difficult.

So, as I consider fantasizing and planning, I am worried about how to build on what we have and not risk losing her to another guy. Maybe a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Thoughts, suggestions?

[hornedhubby]

Honestly, you really have a difficult nut to crack, here, even under the very best of circumstances.

If I were you, I would wait until she clears menopause and her last chick leaves the nest before I'd even consider broaching this subject. Keep your powder dry. Enjoy your fantasies but keep them to yourself.

In the meantime, give her the sex and service that she wants.

Best luck.

[Parsifal]

I would say you are in a jam. I was in an earlier marriage like yours and it was so deadlocked in similar ways to what your describing that I was the open who ended up cheating because I had such a thing for cheating wives. Most of my lovers had been cheating wives and I loved the role of being the other guy. I love being a horny wife's desperate outlet. But I think the marriage could have been saved if she had become more of the cheating wife I'd always wanted of her.

I think if you can get through it over the next several years you'll become happier and more content with your situation again. High probability that given your respectivr temperaments, even if you could work together on better communication and mutual avceptance, it could take you years of personal growth to make it happen. And if you did, the jealousy then would need to be outgrown as well, and that too can take a long time for some men, even if it's possible. All that said, it is possible. Life changes can put a relationship in a new light.

[HopefullyOneDay]

The one possibility is my wife is really in to online roleplaying. It is how I met her and depending on which persona she is playing she is more open to sexual situations she would never acknowledge in day to day life. I have nudged one or her characters in the past to be more slutty, privately, then the others.

We roleplayed some last night, completely non-sexual, and she was so hot and ready when we went to bed. It is just her way to connect.

I cant roleplay sexually with her constantly or she will get turned off that I am only using her favorite pasttime to get laid, so baby steps.

We talked this morning about how she doesnt roleplay with people online, men or women, unless she messages with them OOC and knows them. I thought this would be a hindrance to her getting a little more adventurous and asked why she cant keep everything in character. She reminded me of People stalking her in the past and said she had to avoid "creepers". I asked what the difference is between a creeper and a pervert. She said they are the same. I pointed out a very horny pervert that is in her group of online friends and she claimed he is a reformed pervert who only cybers with women who want it. Kind of caught my attention when she defended him. I know nothing has gone on there, but it was noteworthy that she did not condemn him out the gate.

Right now baby steps. Considering possibilities and options.

[HopefullyOneDay]

Over the past few days I have been meeting her in her favorite game and roleplaying with a couple of her characters. She has been very happy and one night mentioned that it has been awhile since I have tied her up and blindfolded her. This is aboit as "kinky" as she ever got and it has been awhile. So that was a good sign.

Last night I created a new character and roleplayed with one of her most established characters. We were talking afterwards and I hinted this could be a new love interest for her main character and she quickly and sternly shut down the idea since her main character is "married" (to another character I made).

I will have to be careful and stick with her "slut" character (who is also only a "slut" for me) and see if any progress can be made there.

[HopefullyOneDay]

Honestly, you really have a difficult nut to crack, here, even under the very best of circumstances.

If I were you, I would wait until she clears menopause and her last chick leaves the nest before I'd even consider broaching this subject. Keep your powder dry. Enjoy your fantasies but keep them to yourself.

In the meantime, give her the sex and service that she wants.

Best luck.

I hear you. That is sound advice.

[HopefullyOneDay]

I would say you are in a jam. I was in an earlier marriage like yours and it was so deadlocked in similar ways to what your describing that I was the open who ended up cheating because I had such a thing for cheating wives. Most of my lovers had been cheating wives and I loved the role of being the other guy. I love being a horny wife's desperate outlet. But I think the marriage could have been saved if she had become more of the cheating wife I'd always wanted of her.

I think if you can get through it over the next several years you'll become happier and more content with your situation again. High probability that given your respectivr temperaments, even if you could work together on better communication and mutual avceptance, it could take you years of personal growth to make it happen. And if you did, the jealousy then would need to be outgrown as well, and that too can take a long time for some men, even if it's possible. All that said, it is possible. Life changes can put a relationship in a new light.

It sounds like you understand completely.

I wouldn't cheat on her. I wouldn't risk the marriage or hurt her like that.

Jealousy is a huge consideration. If by some miracle I got what I wanted, would I really want it...

[HopefullyOneDay]

Still nervous but..this fantasy gets me so excited. I have started meeting my wife online and roleplaying this week. Mostly non-sexual. I have introduced a "new character" as a possible romantic interest for one of her characters who already had a romantic interest. She was confused and asked "why would this character be interested in me? He doesnt know me...is it just based on looks?". She did let the new character kiss her and she returned a second kiss and admitted it was "nice".

She takes her online roleplaying seriously and it is really the best way to get through to her sometimes.

So now there are two characters interested in hers. She noted this morning that it is "interesting".

Not sure if this will go anywhere, but I am going to try very slowly to see if she will "cyber" with both. I would be very surprised (even though both are me)

To add more perspective, there is a thread on another board here asking about the hottest thing your wife has told you. With us, she told me that before she met her first husband, she held hands with a boy she met. Literally, that is the extent of how wild she was before we met.

I am.thinking about posting my progress, if any, if anyone is interested.

As always, any advice would be most.appreciated.

[Scud Farcus]

Good luck, brother. She sounds a lot like my wife.

[iluvmyhw]

always interested in budding hotwives progress

[Gulfcpl]

I really don’t have any earth shattering advice other than you mentioned that you have shown some jealousy in the past. If she senses this, which I’m sure she does, she probably will shy away from anything she deems to be improper. She sounds like a wonderful lady and is very much committed to you so she won’t do anything to risk that relationship.

You’ve sown the seed. Whether or not it germinates remains to be seen. None of us knew what our reaction would be before we first saw our wives with someone else. Be as sure as you can before pushing forward. If it ever happened and you showed jealousy, it would devastate her. The worst case scenario is that you have a lovely lady and if it never happens, you’ve lost nothing.

[HopefullyOneDay]

Small update. After a few days, my wife has roleplayed her character going on dates with two different characters. At first she resisted and suggested one of the "men" would be better suited to a different one of her characters. She relented and now admits that "her character" is enjoying the attention of both men. At this point it os VERY tame..mostly just kissing. However, for her to have one persona accepting attention from two different "men" and engaging with them and kissing them and admitting in and out of character that she likes it is pretty shocking. I thought this was going to get shot down.

Interestingly enough she has been clear, in and out of character, that her character has to be honest and let the men know about each other. I of course dont have a problem.with that.

Will be a slow road to move feom roleplaying kissing to more and even slower to see if it becomes her fantasy or desire.

The irl sex generated by the roleplay has been great.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

How do the two if you roleplay online together? I'm curious how this works.

[HopefullyOneDay]

We each have several accounts to an MMORPG. although designed for gaming and fighting, there is an awful lot of cyber sex being had.

[Just a Fantasy]

Small update. After a few days, my wife has roleplayed her character going on dates with two different characters. At first she resisted and suggested one of the "men" would be better suited to a different one of her characters. She relented and now admits that "her character" is enjoying the attention of both men. At this point it os VERY tame..mostly just kissing. However, for her to have one persona accepting attention from two different "men" and engaging with them and kissing them and admitting in and out of character that she likes it is pretty shocking. I thought this was going to get shot down.

Interestingly enough she has been clear, in and out of character, that her character has to be honest and let the men know about each other. I of course dont have a problem.with that.

Will be a slow road to move feom roleplaying kissing to more and even slower to see if it becomes her fantasy or desire.

The irl sex generated by the roleplay has been great.

What if one of your characters asks what she did with the other character and gave her his approval? If she asks why he would do that he can just say he wants her to be happy.

[HopefullyOneDay]

I am slowly working my way up to that point. She takes roleplaying, and her characters, very seriously. This character has so far only kissed each "man". Rushing it would make her pull back and end it.

She has an "evil" character that it would be easier to have be slutty, but she would compartmentalize that as "bad" and it wouldn't translate to a fantasy let alone real life.

[HopefullyOneDay]

I know this thread is pretty boring considering all the hot amazing things posted here, but it is really helping me share my thoughts as I delve into this fantasy.

Two nights ago we went to bed and as I watched her get herself ready and she crawled into my arms and snuggled in, I had a reality check. What was I thinking? This beautiful amazing woman is my wife. Prim and proper, never a rule broken except for how we met. How could I even think about suggesting the hotwifing or even a hall pass? I pretty much convinced myself that it would have to stay a fantasy and that I would need to put it out of mind and focus on it less and less until the thoughts went away or at least diminished.

I declared a "snow day" yesterday and although both of us can and often do.work from home, we took the day off and just had fun together(non-sexual)

After dinner she asked what I wanted to do and I suggested that she bring in her "evil" character for some roleplaying. She wasnt in the mood and wanted to do something else online but since that activity wasnt available changed her mind and brought in her evil character.

I suggested that we sit in separate rooms to help remain in character and not be tempted to talk to each other OOC.

As is usual for this persona, I brought in my "evil" character and their interactions quickly led to rough sex. (This is historocally the only persona that will engage in rough sex or sex without a romantic connection at least headed towards "marriage")

During their sex, my character mentioned that if their evil plan succeeded that he would give her dozens of servants to take care of her. I didnt say anything further about "how" they would take care of her, but in my mind they would all serve her sexually.

When we logged off, she regained her usual modest composure made a comment to make sure we kept the area where these two characters meet private so no one could sneak in and "watch" them. (There is no physical depiction of sex, merely words)

We went to bed and she snuggled in and we kissed some. Without pressing I asked her how she liked her roleplaying tonight and she talked for a few minutes about whether her character had feelings for mine even love or if it was just sex and power. She then wanted to know if my character had feelings for hers or was just using her. Sensing the trap, I said she would have to ask my character herself.

Her hand slid down my chest and wrapped around my dick as my hand moved from her firm ass to between her thighs.

As she slowly stroked me she whispered "Would he really let her have dozens of servants?" I responded "That's what he said" and slid my fingers across her lips to find them already open and wet which has been rare as her body changes. Then she stroked me harder and said "Would he REALLY let her have other men?" I was shocked that she had picked up on that since I thought I was subtle. "Would she like that?" I asked and she responded "She would be surprised" at this point my finger brushed her clit for the first time that evening and she came instantly as she was pulling on my cock so hard I thought she would break it off.

The affection has been on overdrive these past few days in and out of bed. I have been telling myself it is the result of me spending more time doing what she likes, never a bad thing of course. But this...this was a direct response to the idea of her roleplaying sex with numerous men. I had been subtle in my comment about servants because I dodnt want her to reject it out of hand, even in roleplay, before I could gradually try to build up to it. Imagine my surprise when she watched on to it and it excited her!

So, I held her all night and was hornier than horny this morning. I woke and planned to rush to the office and lock my door and relieve the build up from overnight since morning sex is usually frowned on by her in recent years. She has never been a morning person, usually awaking after I leave and having her usual breakfast and Bible study to start the day.

However, as I laid in bed before the alarm went off, I felt her finger moving gently in one of her signals that she is open to sex. I caressed her ass and she kissed me, not softly , but like she was on fire and I slid my hand down the curve of her ass to find her again wet and open. It didnt take long for her to cum again, this time soaking the sheets.

I still dont think this could possibly turn into a full blow real life hotwife situation. I dont even think I could get her to roleplay sexually with someone other than me online. But..she has surprised me and my fantasy is still there so I will keep moving forward to see where it leads. At the very least we will have great sex more often.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Hopefullyoneday,

You just never know what lurks in the deep down mind of a woman. You just don't know. Keep the role playing going. Perhaps bring in more characters for her to play with. Maybe have a couple of "servents" serve her in a threesome. Follow that path and see where it leads. Once she gets that idea in her head about sex with other men tied to the servent characterization....take it to reality. When out and about in town at a restaurant...make a comment about the good looking waiter being such a good "servent" to her.

See what that reaction is.

Have fun.

[HopefullyOneDay]

Hopefullyoneday,

You just never know what lurks in the deep down mind of a woman. You just don't know. Keep the role playing going. Perhaps bring in more characters for her to play with. Maybe have a couple of "servents" serve her in a threesome. Follow that path and see where it leads. Once she gets that idea in her head about sex with other men tied to the servent characterization....take it to reality. When out and about in town at a restaurant...make a comment about the good looking waiter being such a good "servent" to her.

See what that reaction is.

Have fun.

That sounds like a great idea, but she really is a homebody. Doesn't like to go out to dinner or anywhere else. She is VERY introverted.

If anything ever happens it would have to start with someone online. The problem then is she would have a lot more emotional attachment before anything would happen. Still not sure how I would feel.about that. I would love to see her hotwife but not at the risk of losing her.

[HopefullyOneDay]

Past 2 nights have been a roller coaster. All my fault but it happens.

Two nights ago we attended an online event, sort of a party. They are weekly and not my thing but my wife enjoys them. This one was being hosted by a guy we have not interacted with for months. He had taken to private messaging my wife rather than talking with others around and there were times when she would stay up late talking with him and jot come to bed. At the time it bothered me greatly. We argued about it and she accused me of accusing her of something and not trusting her. It evolved to where she would try to hide the fact that they were messaging and lie about messaging and lie about what they were messaging about.

In the end I am convinced that all of their interactions were innocent, but the lying and hiding really bothered me. So he was there and I was there and I noticed that he was no longer on my contact list. This meant he had deleted me from his. I really didnt care but commented on it to my wife ans she immediately started defending him and insisted that he did it on accident. I told her not to say anything to him but she immediately messaged him to re-add me. I was furious at her for jumping to his defense without any proof that he had "accidentally" deleted me and more so that after I asked her not to say anything to him that she messaged him to re-add me.

We fought about this the next day and she is insistent that she dod nothing wrong. I basically told her I am still not happy that she lied and hid their messages and that she is a big girl and can do what she wants online but just be honest about it.

She has no idea how much I would be ok with her doing...if she was open and honest about it!

The same night she did engage with one of my characters, but only on a basic level. This is the character that I am trying to engage with 2 different characters of mine at the same time. She mentioned OOC that her character only wanted one of mine and was going to break it off with the other character the.next night. Surprisingly, she didnt. She really wanted to, but ended up drawing it out for longer. She keeps asking me OOC if I know it will only be worse if "she strings him along and breaks up later" and then asks "what do you want?"..."she cant be with both of them!". I tell her no metagaming and her character will have to decide what she wants. She is enjoying the scenario but it is pushing boundaries even for roleplay and she doesnt know how to handle.

The OTHER interesting development....I mentioned that she has an "evil" character. This character regularly engages in sex with my evil character, her "Master". I am close to introducing a "servant" to pleasure her and work up to a threesome.

Going back to the "party" 2 nights ago, there was another guy there. He is very outgoing and has engaged in cybersex with every woman he can. He is very loud and outgoing and was talking to her and I and then her. He annoys me a little but I pushed that down because in my biggest fantasy he is the first guy she will fuck irl.

The next day I teased her that my evil character may gift her evil character to this man. She shopl.her head and said absolutely not and insisted that he was creepy. I figured I had mentioned that WAY too early and messed up.

So last night we were online just my wife and I and as we were wrapping g up, she was getting tired, there was a message from this guy that he was looking for anyone interested in playing. She told me he posted and asked if she should respond and meet up with him since they had started a small roleplaying topic the night before. I encouraged her and logged out and left the room. A few minutes later she called me back into the room to clarify some roleplay history and let me know what he was saying to her and where things were headed. I told her I trusted her and to have fun and left the room to let her see that I really trusted her. After about an hour she logged out and joined me to watch some television before bed. She smuggled in my arms and made a point of telling me everything they talked about (all innocent boring gamer nerd roleplaying). She said she couldn't possibly roleplay with him a lot or long term because he is "creepy"...we'll see how it progresses....

[AZguy425]

You took advantage of a great opportunity with the second guy role-playing because it showed your wife that if she is just that way with the first guy then it's all okay. If she thinks he is creepy but still willing to go on line with him, she might not actually think he's to creepy for irl either!

The first guy starting to private message her and then deleting you is a little sus on his part. He's probably trying to test the waters with her. And she might low key suspect that.

[HopefullyOneDay]

You took advantage of a great opportunity with the second guy role-playing because it showed your wife that if she is just that way with the first guy then it's all okay. If she thinks he is creepy but still willing to go on line with him, she might not actually think he's to creepy for irl either!

The first guy starting to private message her and then deleting you is a little sus on his part. He's probably trying to test the waters with her. And she might low key suspect that.

With the first guy, I dont think he is into her at all. Even if he was and even if she was willing to be open honest and share everything, I would object to her having a relationship with him due to his background of severe domestic violence.

The second guy..is 10 years younger and I have seen his photo. She would go for him. He is 5 hours away. I have to be out of town for a few days in June and it has been my fantasy for him to come take her while I am gone. I know that is way too soon but like I said a fantasy.

At the same.time under the light of reality, guy 2 partakes in VERY risky behavior. The risks wouldn't be worth IRL. So, hoping he just wakes something up in her online and we go from there.

It makes me consider if she does.decide to go down this path how much say I would have..is it possible to have veto power over guys that would pose a risk to her health and safety?

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

It makes me consider if she does.decide to go down this path how much say I would have..is it possible to have veto power over guys that would pose a risk to her health and safety?

What risk? Can you elaborate? There are some risks not worth taking even for the sake of the fetish.

[HopefullyOneDay]

It makes me consider if she does.decide to go down this path how much say I would have..is it possible to have veto power over guys that would pose a risk to her health and safety?

What risk? Can you elaborate? There are some risks not worth taking even for the sake of the fetish.

To much unprotected play with too many people without testing. Anonymous hook.ups with both sexes, etc.

Makes the std risk too high

[AZguy425]

It may be a huge advantage for the second guy to keep awakening her curiosity for others even if it's only online. Its definitely a good sign for her to engage like that and if it goes farther then you can cross that bridge when it comes.

Definitely your fantasy with him is tricky if you're also worried about his lifestyle because when you're gone in June you COULD have the fantasy fulfilled but you likely have little to no say in how that goes... which is kind of the angst and eroticism of the whole situation.