Only finding it hot when it's someone else getting cucked

[hubudig2]

It seems to be a common thing for guys to find the concept of cuckolding erotic but to think it wouldn't be erotic if it were them doing it, they just get off on it happening with other couples.
For guys that have that view, why do you think it wouldn't be hot if it was you? How would you describe your perspective on finding it hot?

For guys that started out with that view but it evolved, what caused you to change your view? Was it a conscious decision to think about it being you? Or did it just enter your head involuntarily? Did you go half way with it and imagine it being you but with another woman as your wife? Or something else? Did you struggle to accept it?

Are there any women that find it erotic only when it's other couples doing it?

[hubudig2]

Would really appreciate some responses and perspectives on this, in particular how it evolved.
I know it probably doesn't feel that interesting to write about but I would find it interesting.
If you'd prefer to PM me, that'd also be really appreciated.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

Doesn't matter if it's me or someone else, I think it's 'hot' all the way around.

Not sure how it evolved. When I was young, 'fighting fit' and fresh out of the Army I was fucking somebody else's wife. She was living with me, in fact. I didn't think about it. She came on to me, looking for 'protection' because hubby was an asshole who was beating her. I'm a 'helper' by nature, a sucker for stray animals and people who are being taken advantage of (whether female or male). I take an especially dim view of men who use their strength to abuse women who can't defend themselves. She was grateful, I was young and horny, and when she eventually decided she wanted to fuck I didn't say 'no'. A couple of months went by and hubby came to my house thinking he was going to give *me* a beat-down...it didn't work out the way he thought it would- he went on a little trip to the hospital, and when he got out of there he went to jail for a while. When he got out of jail she went back to him. Why? I dunno, people are gonna do what people are gonna do and I wasn't going to try to force her not to. I am reminded of a John Wayne movie where there was a scene where a kid wanted to pat his dog, he told the kid not to a coupla times but the kid went ahead and tried it anyway, and the dog snapped at him, JW said something similar when the kid's mother got mad at him for not stopping the kid. Did he learn a lesson and stop beating her? Again, I dunno, I had to go far away for some work and never saw either one of them again.

Later, the Mrs. (before she became the Mrs.) 'left' me three times to go fuck other guys, I didn't find it 'hot' at the time, I was just sad and angry...but I didn't stop her- people are gonna do what people are gonna do. The last guy was a right asshole too. By that time I was working as a detective and there were people who were only too willing to tell me about this guy. I warned her about him and told her to be careful but she didn't listen. Six months later she found out that I wasn't bullshitting her when he tried to beat her, then came after her with a gun. He had her cornered and she didn't have her gun, she didn't want to call the cops because she was a cop too and she didn't want to look bad to the rest of the PD. So, who's she gonna call? Three guesses and the first two don't count. I took care of the 'problem' and we've been together ever since.

10+ years later, we're married, and suddenly the idea of her fucking other guys is 'hot'. How did that happen? I don't have the slightest fucking idea. Well, actually, I kinda do but it's strange and convoluted...

[hubudig2]

10+ years later, we're married, and suddenly the idea of her fucking other guys is 'hot'. How did that happen? I don't have the slightest fucking idea. Well, actually, I kinda do but it's strange and convoluted...

Care to attempt an explanation? "Strange and convoluted" is intriguing...

[Bmoore1990]

I feel like desire and fantasy of it is always sort of evolving.

[MartasBoy]

It seems to be a common thing for guys to find the concept of cuckolding erotic but to think it wouldn't be erotic if it were them doing it, they just get off on it happening with other couples.
For guys that have that view, why do you think it wouldn't be hot if it was you? How would you describe your perspective on finding it hot?

For guys that started out with that view but it evolved, what caused you to change your view? Was it a conscious decision to think about it being you? Or did it just enter your head involuntarily? Did you go half way with it and imagine it being you but with another woman as your wife? Or something else? Did you struggle to accept it?

Are there any women that find it erotic only when it's other couples doing it?

You missed some other options. There are some people who find it most exciting when it's happening to them. And only a little exciting observing it happening to others.

I found it exciting when I suggested to my second serious girlfriend, that we have an open relationship and see other people. I didn't get any other girl to sleep with me for some time, but she was seeing another guy within the first week of my suggestion. I saw his car in the driveway at her house went to the door contemplating disrupting their tryst. I realized the Folly of my plan and just stood helplessly at the door. Then I heard them going at it, and felt incredibly jealous and turned on at the same time.

[hubudig2]

You missed some other options. There are some people who find it most exciting when it's happening to them. And only a little exciting observing it happening to others.

My questions are aimed at those that are either only turned on when it's happening to others (I can't imagine that's many people on this forum?) or it used to be that way for them. I'm aware there are plenty of people here who have never been in either of those brackets.

I found it exciting when I suggested to my second serious girlfriend, that we have an open relationship and see other people. I didn't get any other girl to sleep with me for some time, but she was seeing another guy within the first week of my suggestion. I saw his car in the driveway at her house went to the door contemplating disrupting their tryst. I realized the Folly of my plan and just stood helplessly at the door. Then I heard them going at it, and felt incredibly jealous and turned on at the same time.

Did you not expect that outcome at all when you suggested an open relationship?

[MartasBoy]

You missed some other options. There are some people who find it most exciting when it's happening to them. And only a little exciting observing it happening to others.

My questions are aimed at those that are either only turned on when it's happening to others (I can't imagine that's many people on this forum?) or it used to be that way for them. I'm aware there are plenty of people here who have never been in either of those brackets.

I thought there should be an option for:

"It started with just me fantasizing about me being cuckolded, and later focusing more on it happening to others."

[MartasBoy]

I found it exciting when I suggested to my second serious girlfriend, that we have an open relationship and see other people. I didn't get any other girl to sleep with me for some time, but she was seeing another guy within the first week of my suggestion. I saw his car in the driveway at her house went to the door contemplating disrupting their tryst. I realized the Folly of my plan and just stood helplessly at the door. Then I heard them going at it, and felt incredibly jealous and turned on at the same time.

Did you not expect that outcome at all when you suggested an open relationship?

No, I was young and naive. We were both in college at a major university and there were tons of beautiful women I encountered at school, in classes, at bars and parties, and at my part-time job. There were so many I wanted to ask out, but I was in a steady relationship.

I didn't realize that she would get asked out within a few days, of guys finding out that I had asked for us to be able to date other people. Then she was sleeping with him a few days later, by the second date.

I didn't know that it would be 3 months before I found any girl who was willing to sleep with me. And that didn't turn out to be anything. She went home with me because I bought her dinner, and she didn't know what to expect. I had trouble getting it up and keeping it up, because I was nervous. I did manage to get it inside of her on a couple of attempts, and dribbled a bit of cum, so I counted her as the third woman I had sex with.

After she helped me get hard again and I made a third attempt to be inside of her, she winced and said I was hurting her, and she pushed me away. She seemed angry and annoyed. But I guess she didn't want to be perceived as a prick tease, so she spit on her hand, quickly gave me a pity handjob, and asked me to leave, saying that she had a lot of stuff to do the next day.

She put me off each time I tried to ask her out, after that.

She was a waitress at a cafe I frequented. After that, whenever I went there, the other waitresses would gather in the waitress station, point at me, whisper, and laugh. None of them ever accepted a date with me. There was a lot of turnover among the waitresses there. Whenever there was a new girl, who I would try and talk to, one of the other waitresses would pull her aside, and whisper to her in the waitress station, there would be the giggling and laughing, and I never got a date from any of the girls there.

[hubudig2]

I feel like desire and fantasy of it is always sort of evolving.

True.
It seems like it must be quite a leap from finding it hot when it's other people to finding it hot if it were yourself though.
I'm still hoping someone can remember and explain but I've always assumed it might evolve something like this:
- hot when it's others
- seeing it through the cuckold's eyes but it's his wife not yours
- gradually stop feeling like you're seeing it through someone else's eyes, it's your eyes but a fantasy wife and situation
- those fantasies present themselves in intimate moments with your wife when you're horniest and it makes it feel more pleasurable
- the intrusive thoughts and fantasies gradually intertwine in the horniest moments. Thoughts of her get getting fucked by guys from your fantasies and thoughts of your wife entering your fantasies

[Bmoore1990]

I feel like desire and fantasy of it is always sort of evolving.

True.
It seems like it must be quite a leap from finding it hot when it's other people to finding it hot if it were yourself though.
I'm still hoping someone can remember and explain but I've always assumed it might evolve something like this:
- hot when it's others
- seeing it through the cuckold's eyes but it's his wife not yours
- gradually stop feeling like you're seeing it through someone else's eyes, it's your eyes but a fantasy wife and situation
- those fantasies present themselves in intimate moments with your wife when you're horniest and it makes it feel more pleasurable
- the intrusive thoughts and fantasies gradually intertwine in the horniest moments. Thoughts of her get getting fucked by guys from your fantasies and thoughts of your wife entering your fantasies

[lanceriprock]

I started out with thinking it’s hot for other couples to engage in cuckolding but it wasn’t long before the thought of my beautiful wife having a lover took hold. She’s surprisingly open to the idea but just hasn’t followed through.

[hubudig2]

I started out with thinking it’s hot for other couples to engage in cuckolding but it wasn’t long before the thought of my beautiful wife having a lover took hold. She’s surprisingly open to the idea but just hasn’t followed through.

Do you remember how you felt about the thought of it being your wife before it turned you on?
Do you remember the first time you thought about it being your wife and being turned on by it? Was it a shock?

[Bmoore1990]

I started out with thinking it’s hot for other couples to engage in cuckolding but it wasn’t long before the thought of my beautiful wife having a lover took hold. She’s surprisingly open to the idea but just hasn’t followed through.

Do you remember how you felt about the thought of it being your wife before it turned you on?
Do you remember the first time you thought about it being your wife and being turned on by it? Was it a shock?

It was a confusing and odd thing for me at first. Hard to explain.

[hubudig2]

It was a confusing and odd thing for me at first. Hard to explain.

I think this is why I'm asking, I've never really heard anyone explain how it comes to be.
Would you be willing to try to explain?
Feel free to ask me anything in return if you want, not sure what you could possibly want to know, I'll be offering cash bribes soon lol.

[iloanmywife]

It seems to be a common thing for guys to find the concept of cuckolding erotic but to think it wouldn't be erotic if it were them doing it, they just get off on it happening with other couples.
For guys that have that view, why do you think it wouldn't be hot if it was you? How would you describe your perspective on finding it hot?

For guys that started out with that view but it evolved, what caused you to change your view? Was it a conscious decision to think about it being you? Or did it just enter your head involuntarily? Did you go half way with it and imagine it being you but with another woman as your wife? Or something else? Did you struggle to accept it?

Are there any women that find it erotic only when it's other couples doing it?

Really interesting topic! When I first stumbled on a cuckold photoset in a porno mag, it actually put my stomach in knots. I fucking hated it. Interestingly, I guess I naturally self-inserted as the cuck and not the other guy in the photo set. I wish I could find that set just to see it now. I progressed quickly to being fascinated by it and then being completely turned on by it and eventually becoming a cuckold.

This is a step removed from your question, but related. I love it when other guys think cuckolding is hot but hate the idea of doing it themselves. The sort of mindset you describe in your post. Several guys have fucked my wife and then afterwards told me that they'd never share. "If she were my wife I would never let another man touch her" or "How could you do this?" Same thing online, where I've messaged with guys who got off on hearing about our adventures and seeing our pics/vids while telling me that they'd hate it if it happened to them. It makes me feel like even more of a cuckold. Not sure how to put my finger on it, but hearing that is fucking hot to me.

[hubudig2]

When I first stumbled on a cuckold photoset in a porno mag, it actually put my stomach in knots. I fucking hated it.

What did you hate about it? What was depicted in the photos? Was there a particular act that shook you up?
I'm guessing even though you hated it, you looked at it for a while? and went back for another look?

Interestingly, I guess I naturally self-inserted as the cuck and not the other guy in the photo set.

I think it seems obvious to do that, it's the way they frame it. I did the same and found it confusing...

I progressed quickly to being fascinated by it and then being completely turned on by it and eventually becoming a cuckold.

So did your mind always self-insert you as the cuck? You imagined your girlfriend doing that to you from the first time and became fascinated with that situation? Was it like a guilty pleasure? You still hated it but it felt good at the same time?

This is a step removed from your question, but related. I love it when other guys think cuckolding is hot but hate the idea of doing it themselves. The sort of mindset you describe in your post. Several guys have fucked my wife and then afterwards told me that they'd never share. "If she were my wife I would never let another man touch her" or "How could you do this?" Same thing online, where I've messaged with guys who got off on hearing about our adventures and seeing our pics/vids while telling me that they'd hate it if it happened to them. It makes me feel like even more of a cuckold. Not sure how to put my finger on it, but hearing that is fucking hot to me.

Thanks for adding this in, I love this sort of mindfuckery. Why do you think that is? Do you feel like you gave into something that others have resistance to? That feeling that you gave in where others don't has a submissive pang to it maybe?

[iloanmywife]

What did you hate about it? What was depicted in the photos? Was there a particular act that shook you up?
I'm guessing even though you hated it, you looked at it for a while? and went back for another look?

So did your mind always self-insert you as the cuck? You imagined your girlfriend doing that to you from the first time and became fascinated with that situation? Was it like a guilty pleasure? You still hated it but it felt good at the same time?

At first I was shocked and repulsed at the concept. Like most people who learn about cuckolding, I was like "Who the fuck would do that? Why?" All I could think about was watching another man fuck my girlfriend (now wife) and it tore me up inside. But I kept going back to it, then jerked off to it. I always felt awful after cumming, but kept jerking off it it and it became a kink.

Thanks for adding this in, I love this sort of mindfuckery. Why do you think that is? Do you feel like you gave into something that others have resistance to? That feeling that you gave in where others don't has a submissive pang to it maybe?

Exactly. It's like another element of being cucked. It's like they're reminding me that I did something taboo that they wouldn't do, even if they're into it. Or especially if they're into it.

Let me describe: Another man just fucked my wife for a few hours and had the time of his life. Raw-dogged her, DPed her with me. She gobbled his cock, licked his balls, tongued his ass. He called her names, pulled her hair, spanked her ass, slapped her tits. He blew a load of jizz on her face, then later pumped a load inside of her. Then it's over, everyone's spent, the lust is gone. My wife's in the bathroom getting cleaned up and we're getting dressed, he tells me how he would never let the woman he loves get used like that. Total defeat. It heightens my post-nut cuckold regret and gives me that "What have I done?" feeling. "I loved using YOUR wife as a slut, but I'd never let MY girl get treated like that."

I've talked online with guys who had that reaction. They're jerking off while I tell them about our fun, they're asking questions, totally into it. Then I might ask about their own wives, and some guys have gotten offended. "My wife isn't a whore." It's a gut-punch.

[canadianwittol]

This point is almost the reverse of what OP is asking, but I feel it's the flip side of the coin: you're talking about someone who finds it hot/enthralling/funny when someone else is getting the humiliation of being cucked but isn't willing to see their own pride compromised.

In my early days as a cuckold when I was grappling with the very first feelings of embarrassment at finding out that others - wife's friends - knew about it I had a major realization that helped me look at the situation stoically:

Just because the joke is on you doesn't make the joke itself any less funny for everyone else. Every cuck will react to his new reality differently, and I truly believe, often surprisingly.

[iloanmywife]

This point is almost the reverse of what OP is asking, but I feel it's the flip side of the coin: you're talking about someone who finds it hot/enthralling/funny when someone else is getting the humiliation of being cucked but isn't willing to see their own pride compromised.

In my early days as a cuckold when I was grappling with the very first feelings of embarrassment at finding out that others - wife's friends - knew about it I had a major realization that helped me look at the situation stoically:

Just because the joke is on you doesn't make the joke itself any less funny for everyone else. Every cuck will react to his new reality differently, and I truly believe, often surprisingly.

I'm curious to hear what your wife's friends thought or knew about it.

[hubudig2]

At first I was shocked and repulsed at the concept. Like most people who learn about cuckolding, I was like "Who the fuck would do that? Why?" All I could think about was watching another man fuck my girlfriend (now wife) and it tore me up inside. But I kept going back to it, then jerked off to it. I always felt awful after cumming, but kept jerking off it it and it became a kink.

I can't imagine someone thinking "Who the fuck would do that? Why?" while being repulsed by something and then taking their dick out to get off to it...

Exactly. It's like another element of being cucked. It's like they're reminding me that I did something taboo that they wouldn't do, even if they're into it. Or especially if they're into it.

Let me describe: Another man just fucked my wife for a few hours and had the time of his life. Raw-dogged her, DPed her with me. She gobbled his cock, licked his balls, tongued his ass. He called her names, pulled her hair, spanked her ass, slapped her tits. He blew a load of jizz on her face, then later pumped a load inside of her. Then it's over, everyone's spent, the lust is gone. My wife's in the bathroom getting cleaned up and we're getting dressed, he tells me how he would never let the woman he loves get used like that. Total defeat. It heightens my post-nut cuckold regret and gives me that "What have I done?" feeling. "I loved using YOUR wife as a slut, but I'd never let MY girl get treated like that."

I've talked online with guys who had that reaction. They're jerking off while I tell them about our fun, they're asking questions, totally into it. Then I might ask about their own wives, and some guys have gotten offended. "My wife isn't a whore." It's a gut-punch.

I completely understand their thoughts, I feel the same. I usually see first time couples. His girlfriend/wife and I will both be thinking how it's crazy that he not only allows us to do what we're doing but actively wants it, enjoys it and will be grateful to us for doing it. I have a good understanding for what he's feeling but I nearly always get the thought of how "crazy" it is at some point in the experience. I'll then go back to my wife who I'm incredibly grateful to for allowing me to do these things, she doesn't get off on it but I also can't understand how she can allow me to either.

[lanceriprock]

I started out with thinking it’s hot for other couples to engage in cuckolding but it wasn’t long before the thought of my beautiful wife having a lover took hold. She’s surprisingly open to the idea but just hasn’t followed through.

Do you remember how you felt about the thought of it being your wife before it turned you on?
Do you remember the first time you thought about it being your wife and being turned on by it? Was it a shock?

Before it turned me on I didn’t give it much thought. It never crossed my mind that my wife would want to fuck anyone else.

I lost a ton of weight and started feeling good about myself and my sex drive returned, big time, and at around that same time I read a cuckold story written from a woman’s perspective and she loved her lifestyle and her husband for allowing it. I then got crazy horny and jealous at the thought of my wife getting railed and loving it, and I just never got that obsession out of my mind. And I don’t want to.

I wasn’t shocked as much as ‘Hmmm, I wonder where that came from?’ and began suspecting I may have felt this way a long time.

My wife certainly appreciates the extra passion since accepting that’s the way I am.

[canadianwittol]

My wife is of an Eastern European background, which is important context because culturally many of these people cannot grasp any concept of a man being *willingly* cuckolded. In the ultra macho culture of her native Bulgaria, to be a cuckold is arguably the ultimate dishonour - and it is likewise in Ukraine, Russia, Poland, etc. - this is where many of my wife's friends come from. One in particular, a Ukrainian, was somewhat disgusted (at me) that I would be willing to live such a way, while others like her best friend (Polish) find it absolutely hilarious.

This point is almost the reverse of what OP is asking, but I feel it's the flip side of the coin: you're talking about someone who finds it hot/enthralling/funny when someone else is getting the humiliation of being cucked but isn't willing to see their own pride compromised.

In my early days as a cuckold when I was grappling with the very first feelings of embarrassment at finding out that others - wife's friends - knew about it I had a major realization that helped me look at the situation stoically:

Just because the joke is on you doesn't make the joke itself any less funny for everyone else. Every cuck will react to his new reality differently, and I truly believe, often surprisingly.

I'm curious to hear what your wife's friends thought or knew about it.

[namitha157]

From a girls perspective.
Hearing about other girls doing it is what got me into it.
To be honest- I did used to judge them for doing it.
But there was a sense of arousal about it.
Took a bit of courage though.

[hubudig2]

From a girls perspective.
Hearing about other girls doing it is what got me into it.
To be honest- I did used to judge them for doing it.
But there was a sense of arousal about it.
Took a bit of courage though.

How did you judge them for it?
What made you reluctant to consider it when you first started hearing about it?
What aspect[s] needed courage to overcome?
When you came around to the idea, how did you propose it to your boyfriend/husband? Or was he already onboard?