Irwinhill wrote: ↑Thu Aug 16, 2007 5:50 am
odyexplorer wrote:I personally think, from reading around and a bit from personal experience, that hotwifing with only one other lover, or one who's overwhelmingly who she does or wants to see most, is one of the most or perhaps the most dangerous ways to pursue the various forms of this lifestyle.
See my most recent comment in "when the hotwife and bull fall or each other" thread of mark123 on the cuckold form. It along with the two other earlier threads of mark on the same subject, started in the hotwife forum, but was moved over by mods ass his and his wife's experiences developed. She's now divorcing him to marry her lover.
What are others thoughts?
Odyexplorer:
Your comments are thought-provoking.
Both forms of HWing--having a single lover, playing the field--interest me. Both are appealing. Both have pros and cons. While presenting statistics may be useful, I see no reason to hypoe one's point of view by strong language ("the most dangerous") based on casual observation.
Now, here are my thoughts:
Thought #1. My wife of 40 years dated one man exclusively for four years. He was a good man. She loved him. She never for a second considered leaving me for him. Why? Because she made a commitment to me when we got married.
Thought #2. I fell in love with my wife the first hour I met her. I moved in with her the day after we met. We got married within two months. (We would have married sooner but I was waiting for April 1 to make a statement about my view of marriage.)
Thought #3. A male acquaintance of mine--good looking guy--had numerous affairs throughout his marriage. (He traveled widely.) One day he found a woman he liked, dumped his wife of 30 years, and remarried. My point: There is not necessarily safety in having many lovers. Playing the field could increase the odds of a spouse finding someone better. (No danger if we took that approach. See Thought #1 above.)
Thought #4. If a wife has many lovers instead of just one, possibly this increases the danger of contracting a disease. This is a danger that many people are willing to take, and it might be lessened by various reasonable strategies that have frequently been discussed elsewhere on the Forum. Still, logically, the more people one has sex with, the more chances of running into a health problem.
Summing up: I am not persuaded that one form of HWing is more dangerous than another. What is dangerous, I believe, is HWing when the wife is not fully committed to her husband. But of course the same thing could be said of monogamy. I have many friends and relatives who were in monogamous relationships that ended catastrophically.
IH