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by Chrislydi » Mon Oct 17, 2022 3:33 am
Just to be absolutely clear, I can see Tim and G really working at this and doing very well together and you also seem to be happy to be attached to the couple, also maybe having sex with G at times. I hope it all works out and you find a way forward to suit all.
There are obvious dangers when one lover is greatly preferred to the other, unless this situation is also wanted by both men, which sounds as if it might well be the case here, with Tim being the number one at least in time if not now. Having a child together does bond a couple far more than anything else, it's shared genes and a human being they've brought into the world. On the sex, bareback is obviously far more enjoyable and preferable, there is a very real probability that sex with Tim will be very much the preferred option, even after the baby is born.
I'm not trying to be negative, sometimes it's easier saying nothing as it doesn't matter to me whether you're successful or not, but naturally I hope you are as reading your story makes me identify with your case and want nothing but good for you and your relationships
It's true that NOW Tim did actually cry and genuinely said he'd never break a perfectly good marriage, preferring to walk away himself. I think that was very heartfelt and GENUINE, it's absolutely how he feels now.
BUT AS WE KNOW feelings can unintentionally change with time and circumstances, not suddenly overnight but almost unnoticed and insidiously, a gradual change with changing circumstances.
So after extensive bareback sex between Timmy and G, and yourself on condoms, it's more than likely sex with Tim might be seen as the more enjoyable and preferred, and with them trying for a baby, he perhaps installed as the clear number one in G's heart, AND most importantly bringing a new life into the world will inevitably have a major effect on the closeness and feelings the parents have for each other. Tim may, inevitably perhaps, find his feelings slightly changed and far more aligned with them alone building a new life and family together, this then might be a far stronger impulse than it is today, he may not feel quite the same way come early next year as he does right now.
I suppose what does raise a bit of a red flag is this isn't a new love but one they've had for each other a very long time, initially they were lovers, fucked and then when you and G became involved with each other, suppressed their love for a time. It never went away though and has now been rekindled big style. The point being it's built on solid foundations and with a new baby cementing that love and making it overpowering it must inevitably have a corresponding effect and change on how they might see their future after the birth.
This now looks a road you are committed to travelling whatever reservations you have, it's probably too late to even contemplate pulling out of it, I'm not sure they or you would even want to. The good sign perhaps is that you've shown yourself generous enough to consider their feelings, and you yourself asked Tim about whether he saw a future with just the two of them (without you). So maybe if there is a change of mind you would be prepared for that too and to walk away.
I must admit to admiring your bravery in taking on such a high risk adventure, something that may give high rewards if such a chance can come off. Maybe some might label it extremely foolhardy but I prefer to call it courageous and highly generous, being true to your principles whatever the likely cost big or small.
I read an account in the library which although NOT like with like has similar elements of two men having sex with the same woman, (NOT in a cuckold situation with one the bull or obvious dominant one) but with both wanting to have regular sex.
I'll include the excerpt below, as you might find it interesting how one partner became far more the predominant one and how it changed the wife's perception of the husband and all he had previously meant to her. It didn't happen overnight but was far more insidious and gradual. I repeat there are major differences but the similarities offer useful lessons.
I repeat I wish you all the best and think you're intelligent enough to work this all through without letting the obvious landmines explode in your face.
The excerpt
'At some point we had the idea that we should get a guy who could be a steady lover for her; a guy that we could both be friends with and I could watch and participate, as well as be a steady lover for her. So this guy at her work who was a work acquaintance that I knew as well just happens to break up with his girlfriend. That opened the door.
We will call this guy J2. He started talking more to my wife and became a friend of both of us. He would come over the house and I would conveniently go to bed early and take our child to bed and leave them alone in the living room. That of course lec to more.
So we slowly brought him into the lifestyle. I have to tell you he was and may still be a cool dude. Easy to get along with. He was younger than her by 6 years, he was black which was a big fantasy for me and later found out it was a big turn on for her as well.
So he starts hanging out as a friend of the family and that’s how everyone saw him. He would come over to our house when our child was at grandmas and my wife would go to his place other times. I thought I was in heaven. I had never seen my wife react like she did to this guy.
I have to admit he was in much better shape than I was he had a solid body and the way he fucked her OMG, the way he took over her was incredibly hot and shocking in a good way to me. I have to admit however that it did worry me a bit. From the first time I got to watch them together deep down I knew I was in trouble.
With in 2 months it started to get a little out of control; he was fucking her 3-4 times a week. She totally started to fall under a spell. That again was exciting but worried me. She even started to be a bit submissive to him. Most of times she was at his place because we had a child. She would leave work around 5 pm and go to his place and come home many times around midnight.
(Again in retrospect probably not a good idea. I was allowing a bond to build. But remember we had no ground rules. I was so into this lifestyle that I would allow anything as long as it fed my kink.)
So by this point I have a young wife and mother that is getting fucked by another man 3-4 times a week and I’m hardly getting any sex at all. She was on the pill so he was cumming inside her sometimes several times a night. If she wouldn’t have been on the pill she would have been pregnant right away as much cum as he was dropping inside her. Keep in mind 3-4 times a week many nights twice a night, that’s a whole lot of another mans DNA inside her. I believe this was helping the change in her. Just a theory I have.
(This really fed my fetish. at a psychological level, to know that another mans DNA was flowing inside my wife’s body was like a mental fuck)
In retrospect now it was sort of amazing the way he got into her head and started to turn her.
So I start to see a change in her she starts to become more distant. You know what I mean when you can tell that you’re no longer the one, that something is off. That was the first thing I noticed.
I then started getting less and less sex. Even though that may be the normal progression of a thing like this it started to worry me a bit but also fed into my hunger for this fetish. When she would give me a BJ she would spit me out but she always swallowed him. I asked once why she spit mine out she said your cum tastes sour and his tastes sweet.
So I went from watching and participating to taking pictures and videos to getting an occasional BJ to getting mostly hand jobs when I would complain. And when I would complain about not getting any she would tell me “Come here, let me give you some relief,” and would jerk me into a towel. Then she started to jerk me over the toilet and she knew how to get me off quickly. It was sort of humiliating for her to jerk me over the toilet like my sperm was being thrown away.
So more and more she finds things to fight about. Just like petty things, and I have to admit I would also start some arguments because I could feel her pulling away. She suggested at some point that we go to counseling but I said no like an idiot. Later when I could see we were going to split up I agreed to the counseling but at that point she didn’t want to.
She tells me one day “I’m addicted to him I can’t do with out him.” Then she said, “You got us into this lifestyle, you opened the door, and now I’m in love with him. I can’t be without him.”
We separate. She said she was going to her sisters house to try to figure things out but she never stopped fucking him during that time and within six months while we are separated but not divorced she got pregnant by him. I can remember getting the phone call. She said, “Do you have a minute…I have to ask you to please let us go through with the divorce; I’m pregnant.”
I was devastated and turned on at the same time again, a very serious head fuck. We divorced like 8 months later. She had a big pregnant belly when we had our court date for the divorce. It was kind of humiliating; it was obvious it was not my child.
I wanted to add this as well. This is a conversation I had with her about our past not too long ago. I asked her:
ME: So what was the different. We know emotions came after. Was the sex better?
HER: Your right I didn't fall in love right away, but honestly I absolutely enjoyed the sex, I cant say exactly why, it was just so good. So yes to be honest the sex was better. Sorry.
ME: Was the black thing a turn on for you?
HER: Yes, the black thing was a turn on. Can't explain why, I just wanted him all the time. I don’t know I just like the contrast of our skin together and how aggressive he was in bed. I even felt intimidated when he fucked me sometimes. Turned me on so much.
ME: So you didn't say if you were always attracted to black men?
HER: No not always attracted to black dudes not at all. But you saw us together can you blame me. You have to admit that there was a big difference between you and him. I'm sorry it just got to the point I couldn't imagine you touching me anymore. You wanted this for me. You wanted me to have a steady lover. You encouraged us to fuck all the time and he took full advantage of that. I mean you know we were together almost every day and you got off on it. Do you remember? Sorry. He became my main man the only man I thought about. I craved to have him inside me all the time. Sorry you asked me to be honest.
I also asked her this:
ME:Did you think of me as submissive in any way? Because in regular life I don't like to be pushed around.
HER: Yeah, I could see you being submissive.
ME: OK wow, submissive how?
HER: I just meant that I could see you enjoying a sexually submissive relationship. I really don't know though. I mean you did give me up to another man right. You allowed him to take me over and over. That's pretty submissive!
This lifestyle can be dangerous; make sure you go into it with eyes wide open.'
Chris
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My account of our first time, what happened afterwards and when my marriage was in trouble - link below.
Thank you for any who comment
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