phenomenology? Something malicious!

[insomuchlove]

Hi I feel a little out of place here but I think i've stumbled on a fantasy that I haven't been able to get out of my head.

So I've had a crush on this girl since I was little. Really since the moment I met her I couldnt get her out of my mind.

I met Aayla from around age 11 or so when my parents started taking us to a new church. She comes from a pious family and for the longest time I was too scared to even talk to her.

Over time as my family integrated into the church I grew closer to her and slowly we built up a relationship. It became an unofficial boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at some point, but stayed unoffcial because her parents wouldn't let her date until she was older.

We're all pretty conservative christians, so she and I remain virgins and thats also why this whole fantasy bothers me, it just doesnt seem right.

Anyway, not long after she turned 18, she got a job at a bank as a teller.
One day at work an old guy, lets call him John, (65-70 or so) comes in and flirts with her.

She brushes it off, but it becomes a regular thing with him coming to the bank and talking with her and flirting.

She's a bit creeped out by it because he's just so much older and he's kinda ugly. He is rich though.

Eventually, somehow he gets her home phone number and calls her at home.
Her mom answers the phone and he asks for Aayla.
They talk a while.. and since Aayla is so new at romance and flirting, she doesn't really know how to reject this guy. She's a captive audience and John just eats it up.

Her parents are amused by the whole thing and tease Aayla about it.


Now, everytime Aayla told me about this guy and his flirting with her, i would get strangely aroused. At first I didn't understand it, but here we are at the point of this guy calling her frequently to talk, and I just cant contain myself from Jerking off about thinking of Aayla dating him.


I looked up this phenomenon and eventually found cuckolding and this forum.

I feel so disgusted at myself.


Last week I told Aayla that now that she's 18 and an adult she should go on a date with this guy to rub it in her parents face.
She and I have loved eachother for years but her parents wouldnt let us 'date' because we weren't old enough. Now that she's old enough wouldn't it be crazy to spite her parents with their daughters 1st official date being with a 70 year old guy?

Really, it's deception. I don't care about hurting her parents, it just turns me on the thought that she goes out with this guy.


I have a lot of angst thinking about it... Until i cum and then I think of how disgusting I am for suggesting this.

Aayla is going on her 1st 'official' date with John tomorrow.

I'm torn between the situation I've caused here.

I mean, the love of my life is going out in PUBLIC with this 70 year old guy as her date in our SMALL town (around 2000 people).

What Have I done, can I stop it, and can I bring myself to stop it?

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum insomuchlove.

[afagehi7]

Sounds like a potential train wreck... Eventually she might see you in a different light... I'd probably chill with her dating the old guy. She does it once to piss off her parents and then be done. I don't think she'll fall in love with him but she may fall out of love with you.

Lots of us are wannabes and keep it in check

[Chrislydi]

Sounds like a potential train wreck... Eventually she might see you in a different light... I'd probably chill with her dating the old guy. She does it once to piss off her parents and then be done. I don't think she'll fall in love with him but she may fall out of love with you.

Lots of us are wannabes and keep it in check

Good advice imo, I read this with a little disbelief although afagehi7 has put it into its proper context and it should all come right in the end as regards not going with him too often, i've no idea I'm afraid as to why you encouraged it.

(not that I thought it untrue I must stress, but rather the absurdity of a girl's first date being with a septuagenarian, I was half thinking my grandad's available again now, although at 86 he may be a touch on the older side and might live too far away, but if you two are ever visiting London...)

[FFDriver]

InSoMuch... being personally much older than Aayla's "Date," I have to wonder about her parents. I have a... "Date"... coming up with my daughter, but she's taking me to see the new, Top Gun movie. I plan to surprise her afterward with a nice dinner at a Steak House, but the thought of anything other than a platonic, 'father/daughter' night would be absurd.

Do her parents know this guy and have they vetted him? Too many unanswered questions, too many red flags for me....

[insomuchlove]

Her 'tomorrow' date was actually yesterday. The original post had to be approved.
I already have a couple updates I typed while waiting:

So Aayla left on her date a few hours ago.

She was really nervous, so I talked with her on the phone as she got ready and tried to calm her down.

We went over some 'talking points' and topics to talk about on their date.

I gave her some money earlier today to pay for her half of the date (but we're both hoping he's a gentleman and he pays for them both).

She's scared that he might try to take her to a bar or something to drink. She's underage for one, but she's also totally against alchohol (she's a good christian girl lol),
I tried to calm her down and told her to be firm with him. If he tries to get her to do something she doesn't want she needs to be assertive


At one point she started to cry.
I wish I could have hugged her but we were talking over the phone.

I told her to be strong and that I love her.

lol you can tell we're so inexperienced and bad at this.



I started to get cold feet too though.

"Aayla, you don't have to do this if you don't want"

"I'm scared, but I'm commited at this point" she basically said.


I'm really anxious.

Just as Aayla texted that John had pulled up to pick her up, my mom took my phone. We were eating supper at the table and she grounded me on phone priviges for week.

I'm a wreck, and since I can't text with Aayla to support her I feel so bad.

I'm gonna try to sneak out late tonight and ride my bike to her house and see how things went.



-----------------------------------------------------
Update:


I rode to her house on my bike. Fortunately the light in her room was on so I went to look and there she was!

I lightly knocked on the window, and she opened it for us to talk.

"Wow I'm glad you're home so early" (it was 11:00, not really that early tbh)

"My parents said i had to be back by 10:00"

"what did they say about you going out with him?"

Boy did she give me every detail about the upcoming argument with her parents. It really became the highlight of the night over the date. I've taken a few liberties for the sake of typing this out and readability:


"Mom kept saying "what the hell, Aayla? what the hell?" and He's like 70 years old" and dad was all like "He's too old for you, he only wants you to be his whore and arm candy".

I said "Well your dad might be right"

"Yeah he probably is, but I said like "you wouldn't let me date Mark (me), so I picked a different guy, besides, you were laughing and making fun at me for John flirting with me, so there's that"

her mom replied "We said you couldn't date until you were 18, not that you couldn't date Mark period"


and dad said "I'm sorry we shouldn't have made light of John flirting with you, but really it's a big deal. A relationship with a man this much older than you is inappropriate."

Aayla said "Yes, I couldn't date until I was 18, but now that I'm 18 I'm dating, and I'm dating who I want. You said I could have that freedom when I turned 18 and now you're backing out?"
She continued "There's nothing wrong or innapropriate about it. John is a good christian man, and point to me in the bible where it says I can't date someone older?"

Her mom did most of the arguing apparently.

Her mom said "I've known John for years and he's NOT a good christian man. He's a complete womanizer! He's.. Ugh I can't believe you! I can't believe you're doing this to us!"

Aayla said "Doing this to YOU? What about me? Can't I date who I want?"

"Within reason, Yes! Why don't you go out with Jason (an aquantance, in lots of church activities) or Daman (a young doctor that goes to our church).

Aayla got really mad at her saying that apparently.

"Jason, Daman? What abouth MARK, you know, the guy i've wanted to be my boyfriend for the last 5 years?"

"Honey, yes, Mark too, You can date who you want, Jason, Daman.... Even Mark, but please just not this John character."

"Whatever" Aayla said.

"Don't 'whatever' me young lady"

Her dad said "Comeon honey" and pulled her mom away out the door. "We'll talk about this later once we've all cooled off."

Her mom kept going on as they walked out the door though.

"I can't believe it. We raised her better! I'll be damned if I let my daughter become that mans whore and start fornicating while she still lives at home!"


Aayla was really wound up and I didn't get many details about the date.

She kept saying "it was nice" and "he was nice"
Apparently he drives a Cadillac DeVille

He picked her up and then they went to a restaurant.

She didn't say much other than it was a normal date (I don't know how she knows what normal is though because it's the first 'official' date she's been on)


I had to go since it was getting late and I didn't want my parents to notice me being gone when I'm supposed to be grounded...

[4herpleasure89]

It’s always a good idea in these situations to exercise caution but I don’t necessarily see a train wreck. The guy is very old. My biggest concern is not his age but yours. You are very young to go in this direction prior to marriage and it may lead to a lot of guilt emotions that you should be ready for.

[Chrislydi]

Stop this now it's totally ridiculous, you should be her boyfriend not some old age pensioner, I can understand cuckold feelings obviously but this isn't normal. You get your own relationship on firm ground first, your eighteen not 28 and never been on an officially recognised date with her yet. Ok this strict parental definition of a date is an artificially added restriction, but at least establish yourselves as a couple with both parents and friends first, and wait until the two of you have been regularly intimate for some time before considering such a move. I know that might mean after marriage if they're so strict but so be it. There will always be plenty of seventy year olds available then too.

(Disappointingly my own Grandad, although very well off too, has sadly put himself out of the running. He told me he's 86 and his dating days are well over and besides he washes his hair quite often, and I do literally mean hair, as in a singular strand of hair as he's pretty much as bald as a coot. He did however tell me to pass on his best wishes and only sorry he can't oblige this time. If you're ever visiting London in the next few years, he's likely to still be around and is known to always want to please....but I'm rambling a little, just something to bear in mind - maybe a 90th birthday present?)

[Long Lurker 34]

Okay I don't get it.

Here's this girl raised in a strict Christian family, gets asked out by this 70 year old guy and her parents make fun of her. And meanwhile her Mother knows this guy to be womaniser and says nothing? There is something mightily off about her parents when they have restricted her dating through her teen years and then don't even say anything about a guy who could easily have made a serious move on her, and really messed her up, whether he could follow through or not.

[Asterix42]

Stop this now it's totally ridiculous, you should be her boyfriend not some old age pensioner, I can understand cuckold feelings obviously but this isn't normal. You get your own relationship on firm ground first, your eighteen not 28 and never been on an officially recognised date with her yet. Ok this strict parental definition of a date is an artificially added restriction, but at least establish yourselves as a couple with both parents and friends first, and wait until the two of you have been regularly intimate for some time before considering such a move. I know that might mean after marriage if they're so strict but so be it. There will always be plenty of seventy year olds available then too.

Agree with above. You don’t have a firm relationship, yet are pushing this girl to do something just because it turns you on. That smacks of using her and manipulating her for you own gratification. You may have a crush on her, but it’s clear you’re not in love with her, otherwise you’d be more worried about her feelings about dating the old creep. If you love her enough to want to have a grown up relationship with her, that should be your first priority. If instead you push her to be with another man before establishing that relationship, you deserve whatever fallout comes your way.

Remember that if she gets hurt, it’s all on you.

[ChrisCuck]

Better to fuck up now and learn from it. Don't wait until you're married to surprise an unsuspecting wife with a cuckold fetish she didn't sign up for.

I don't have the impression that you pressured your girlfriend into going out on that date. I read it as more of a suggestion that she thought would be funny, as a way to spite her parents, but then had cold feet when it came time to follow-through.

If she doesn't want a second date, encourage her to be assertive and turn John down. She shouldn't feel obligated to keep seeing him. However, for all I know, she meant it when she said she had a nice time with John. In which case, maybe she'll want a second date? If you don't want that, maybe it's time that you and Aayla become official.

[afagehi7]

Better to fuck up now and learn from it. Don't wait until you're married to surprise an unsuspecting wife with a cuckold fetish she didn't sign up for.

I don't have the impression that you pressured your girlfriend into going out on that date. I read it as more of a suggestion that she thought would be funny, as a way to spite her parents, but then had cold feet when it came time to follow-through.

If she doesn't want a second date, encourage her to be assertive and turn John down. She shouldn't feel obligated to keep seeing him. However, for all I know, she meant it when she said she had a nice time with John. In which case, maybe she'll want a second date? If you don't want that, maybe it's time that you and Aayla become official.

It's time to make it official. Many of us can live with the fantasies remaining fantasy for the right woman.

One thing is for certain, her clock is ticking and she'll be dating and fucking someone... Very soon. If it's not him it'll be someone else and she seems like a nice girl, it's likely to become long term then OP is sitting alone with his cock in his hand wondering how he let his soul mate get away.

Man up and date her before someone else does. Hormones are raging in her and she's not going to be able to hold them back waiting for you to get a clue.

[insertomit]

You should always be completely honest with the person you love otherwise you don't love him or her as an individual but as an object of your lust.

Tell her you love her and you have these strange fantasies. I hope she forgives you for the deception.

[insomuchlove]

It’s always a good idea in these situations to exercise caution but I don’t necessarily see a train wreck. The guy is very old. My biggest concern is not his age but yours. You are very young to go in this direction prior to marriage and it may lead to a lot of guilt emotions that you should be ready for.

He really is a bit too old for her. After further discussion with Aayla, seeing John just isn't something she wants to go further with. She says they don't have much in common and she's a bit embarrassed to be seen out with him, not so much because of his age but moreso because of his reputation (her mother is correct, John doesn't have the best reputation).

Stop this now it's totally ridiculous, you should be her boyfriend not some old age pensioner, I can understand cuckold feelings obviously but this isn't normal.

Can't the same be said for most people on this forum?

You get your own relationship on firm ground first, your eighteen not 28 and never been on an officially recognised date with her yet. Ok this strict parental definition of a date is an artificially added restriction, but at least establish yourselves as a couple with both parents and friends first, and wait until the two of you have been regularly intimate for some time before considering such a move. I know that might mean after marriage if they're so strict but so be it. There will always be plenty of seventy year olds available then too.

We're on firm ground as it is. I don't see what the difference in age has to do with it. Whether we're 28 or 18, it really doesn't matter. We've been 'together' longer than most people (although admittedly, not officially). Although you could say we're inexperienced, how else are we supposed to get more experience?

The biggest issue with the whole 'wait until we're established as a couple' thing is that it becomes more difficult for her to date others. We're not shooting for the common 'find a bull and screw him every once in a while' relationship. Aayla and I have discussed this (and are continuing to discuss this), and we're thinking about going for a more 'emotional cuckolding' route. Mostly that means she dates others but nobody has sex (stay virgins until marriage). Her and I will continue to see eachother on the down low and eventually get married a few years down the road.
We're still evaluating and discussing these ideas.

Okay I don't get it.

Here's this girl raised in a strict Christian family, gets asked out by this 70 year old guy and her parents make fun of her. And meanwhile her Mother knows this guy to be womaniser and says nothing? There is something mightily off about her parents when they have restricted her dating through her teen years and then don't even say anything about a guy who could easily have made a serious move on her, and really messed her up, whether he could follow through or not.

I think the parents were just figured Aayla would reject the guy by default. It was completely unexpected for her to date him, so they just joked about the possibility in a sarcastic 'go poke the bear with a stick for laughs' kind of way. They weren't serious about poking the bear, but that's implied.

Agree with above. You don’t have a firm relationship, yet are pushing this girl to do something just because it turns you on. That smacks of using her and manipulating her for you own gratification. You may have a crush on her, but it’s clear you’re not in love with her, otherwise you’d be more worried about her feelings about dating the old creep. If you love her enough to want to have a grown up relationship with her, that should be your first priority. If instead you push her to be with another man before establishing that relationship, you deserve whatever fallout comes your way.

Remember that if she gets hurt, it’s all on you.

Jeesh you really don't have any idea what you're talking about. Turn down the gaslight a bit at least.

Better to fuck up now and learn from it. Don't wait until you're married to surprise an unsuspecting wife with a cuckold fetish she didn't sign up for.

I don't have the impression that you pressured your girlfriend into going out on that date. I read it as more of a suggestion that she thought would be funny, as a way to spite her parents, but then had cold feet when it came time to follow-through.

If she doesn't want a second date, encourage her to be assertive and turn John down. She shouldn't feel obligated to keep seeing him. However, for all I know, she meant it when she said she had a nice time with John. In which case, maybe she'll want a second date? If you don't want that, maybe it's time that you and Aayla become official.

I figure now is the best time to explore this cuckold thing. Since we're unmarried, it's much easier for her to date others, much less stigma.
I figure it's just as risky as anyone else on this forum, maybe even less so because there's no sex involved for any of us in my situation.

You're right. I don't want or intend to push Aayla in any way. If she wants to see him, great, and if not, great too. I'll encourage her either way.
Actually, Aayla and I have discussed John and she's not going to go any further with him.
Her and I won't become official, at least not as we've discussed.

It's time to make it official. Many of us can live with the fantasies remaining fantasy for the right woman.

One thing is for certain, her clock is ticking and she'll be dating and fucking someone... Very soon. If it's not him it'll be someone else and she seems like a nice girl, it's likely to become long term then OP is sitting alone with his cock in his hand wondering how he let his soul mate get away.

Man up and date her before someone else does. Hormones are raging in her and she's not going to be able to hold them back waiting for you to get a clue.

Her and I are fine without being official. We're 'together' whether other people see it that way or not.
Officially getting together just makes it harder for her to cuck me or date others later. In our situation and context, living in such a small community, if her and I were official basically everyone would know and we would have to 'break up' for her to date another. Not necessarily a big deal, but just an unnecessary hurdle.

You should always be completely honest with the person you love otherwise you don't love him or her as an individual but as an object of your lust.

Tell her you love her and you have these strange fantasies. I hope she forgives you for the deception.

You're right about being honest.
We've had several discussions about everything.

I suppose first off she came to me and expressed her discomfort continuing to see John. Partially because of her parents disapproval, but just because of the social stigma. She admitted that it she didn't have anything in common with John too. She liked him otherwise, and in a different situation would probably have pursued the relationship.

I supported her decision to not see him anymore. She was nervous to 'break up' with him, so I helped her call him. Basically she told him that her parents disapproved of the relationship, so that was that. He hasn't called since and her parents are happy.


----So where do we go from here?
I gathered up the courage to tell Aayla that I liked her dating John. That it turned me on in a weird way.
She didn't really understand what I meant. She thought at first that I meant that I would prefer her to date John so that I could date another girl.
I told her about my findings into this cuckold fetish, about how I got aroused when she was being flirted with by John and then discovering that it's actually a fetish -a pretty common one at that- called cuckolding.

She had heard the term a number of times used in a derogatory way, but never really thought about the meaning much.

I told her that I must be a cuckold if it arouses me in this way.
I told her I'd like to explore this fantasy a bit in a non-sexual way.

I asked her if she had any interest in the idea of dating other men.

She basically said yes, but there was a lot of questions and discussion about it to reach that point. It really take a long time to type all this out, so forgive me for making it brief.
A big concern for both of us is whether this is 'christian' or 'moral'?
I believe if she had sex it for sure would be immoral.
At this point, we're discussing JUST her dating others. Nothing sexual taking place between either her or I, or her or another guy.
I don't believe just her dating others is wrong. Girls dating guys happens all the time. Context matters though, and in this case there's a clear sexual intent behind my motivations, so I'm not sure about the morality of it.


---What are her motivations/What does she get out of dating others if there's no sex involved?
I told her I didn't want her dating others only for me. I want HER to WANT to do it herself.
She couldn't give me a very clear answer about WHY she would like to see other guys. Her answers mostly just came down to the 'excitement' of it, or that she liked the idea of feeling loved or wanted by others. She also expressed an interest in just 'dating around' or having other relationships before marriage.


---What's our plan now?
Her and I will keep our unofficial relationship going.

I expect she'll be asked out again soon. At that time, if she's comfortable with it, she'll go out with whatever guy that may be.

Our plan for her dating others is just to experiment and see what happens. I told her my hopes are that these guys don't become long term relationships. (maybe just 2-5 months?) She's in agreement at this point.

Our plan for ourselves is a long term relationship (non-sexual) leading up to marriage, at which point it would become sexual.


----When do we start/Does she have anyone in mind?
It's actually happening pretty fast.

After her 'breakup' (it's weird saying that because they only really had one date) with John, Aayla talked to her parents.
She told them that she wasn't going to see John anymore. Her Mom apologized to her for getting angry. Aayla did too.

Her Mom then asked if we (myself and Aayla) would be getting together then. Aayla told them that although she loves me and will probably marry me, she wants to date others for a while.

Her parents were accepting of that, but voiced concerns of her dating another old guy or someone else undesirable.

Her Mom has always really liked this guy named Jason at our church. Mom asked Aayla what she thought of Jason, and Aayla admitted she has a bit of a crush on him.

I cringed when Aayla told me that. TBH I've always kind of disliked Jason, but I've never told anyone that. Mostly because he comes from money and seems a arrogant.

Anyway, that brings us to today.
At church, after the service when everyone was talking and getting ready to leave, Aayla's mom talked to Jason for a while and cunningly maneuvered the conversation to relationships.

I was standing nearby and heard everything

Her mom said "by the way, how's your girlfriend doing Jason, I haven't seen her here for a while?"

Jason said "Ashley and I broke up a few weeks ago."

Of course he broke up. Everyone knew that, especially Aayla's mom.

Mom said "Well, you know my daughter Aayla right? We'll she's available, you should ask her out!"

Jason replied "I thought she was seeing Mark?"

I saw her mom wince when he said that.

Mom replied "Nope! She's looking for a good christian man to sweep her off her feet!"

As the conversation continued, Aayla approached.

Jason immediately turn his attention to her and straight up asked her out.



Aayla, myself, and Aaylas best girl friend Cindy were supposed to all go to an auction this afternoon to hang out and have fun, but Aayla bailed to go on her first date with Jason.


I had a bit of a convo with Cindy about the situation, but I'm tired of typing, so I'll finish that conversation later.

[Chrislydi]

Thank you insomuchlove for taking so much time and trouble to not only reply but outline all the new developments in such detail. You clearly have thought quite deeply about the whole situation and I can only wish you the best of luck. It's what you think that matters, you know far more about the particular constraints and mores of your community, particularly the religious beliefs and how they impinge on your lives. Please continue to update this thread as and when you get an opportunity, as it's extremely well written and gives us an insight, even if only a small one, into the problems that you envisage whichever route you take.

Chris.

[Asterix42]

Sounds like you've covered all the bases insomuchlove. Thanks for all the detail and letting us know what happening. Hope it all goes well for you two and looking forward to your updates.

[wannabecUKold]

I wouldnt worry too much about her going out for dinner with a 70 year old. I'm sure he treated her properly and probably just he enjoyed the company of an 18 year old. But even if he and she went further, she can put it down to her gaining experience.

It is the attitude of her parents that disturbs me. They give completely inconsistent signals. As parents they should be gradually letting their daughter find her way and get experience of relationships. Holding her back until she is 18 is unlikely to work - indeed look at her response. Their approach makes growing up that much more difficult.

As for you and her, do you need to be 'official' boyfriend/girlfriend? Be best friends but leave it at that. And yes do have some sex. The idea of you arriving at your honeymoon as a virgin shocks me. Indeed, you can see how this chastity is driving your cuckold fetish - in place of you having sex with her, you imagine - and plan for - others fucking her.

[OOAA]

HOT story!!!! Thanks for sharing! Please, go on soon...

By the way..., what a nice mother Ayla has...

[insertomit]

I hope you are masturbatung and orgasming so you an have that post-clarity nut.

[insomuchlove]

I had the best intentions to keep up posting updates here, it just didn't happen.

Quite a bit has happened, but a lot of it are the small steps and conversations. If I'd been goot at keeping this thread updated I could have recorded those events, but it's too much to post all at once here, so i'll just give a summary of the last several months.

Also, just FYI, Cindy is Aayla's best friend, and has been appraised of the situation. She knew about John and thought it was pragmatic for Aayla to date him- if only for a sugar daddy type relationship.

Cindy has been all about Sugar Daddies, and to be frank they totally make sense in this economic climate. Aayla getting a sugar daddy (maybe John) down the road is certainly on the table.

We've talked about college and I'm not sure how well off we'll be during college.

Aayla is working at a bank, but her position doesn't have a lot of room for upward mobility.

I'm working fast food at the moment.


There's so much that's happened I'm not sure where to start. A lot of exciting things, from their first date, to the first time i witnessed their date (at the theatre), to their first kiss, etc.

So basically, Aayla and Jason have been together for about 8 months. This is public & confirmed by their relationship statuses on their social media (in a relationship with eachother).

Aayla has NOT had sex with Jason, and won't have sex with him unless she marries him.



Anyway, partially what drove me to make this post is that I actually believe the relationship is nearing its end with Jason.

There are a number of factors, but I believe the main factors are:

1st: Jason is just totally an asshole. Cindy & Aaylas other friends really like him, but I couldn't stand him from the beginning.

2nd: the NRE is wearing off. This goes with #1, It's really taking the NRE wearing off for her to see Jason for what he is, an A-Hole.

3rd: Jason wants sex. He's not treating Aayla right and he's justifying it on her lack of 'putting out'. This is straining the relationship big time. Aayla told him early on in the relationship that sex was off-limits until marriage, so he knew what he was getting into.

4th: Jason left the church. He really only went because his parents wanted him to, but lately he's came out as an athiest.
Aaylas mom is incensed about this, and is now pushing Aayla pretty hard to break up with him.




I've been thinking about this non-sexual cuckolding situation a bit. I can't really figure it out or why I enjoy it.


I've witnessing my soulmate start & be in a relationship with another man. I know most of you here just enjoy the sexual part of it, but this non-sexual version is totally doing it for me.


Now; I'm not sure what to think of this 'emotional non-sexual cuckolding' situation vs a sexual one.

Setting aside any moral misgivings- I'd prefer to have sex with Aayla myself and engage in traditional cuckolding.

But this IS totally conflicting with traditional christian morals.

Our current solution that she date others in a non-sexual way seems superficially to work indefinitely, but I'm having problems with that too, I don't think it's sustainable.

I can see clear benefits on my and Aaylas side of this arrangement, but the other guy doesn't have much to gain (unless he steals her from me).

I think the obvious issue is that unless we go the sexual cuckold route, there's no reward for the third party. He's going to be playing the 'wait until marriage and then sex' game, but with me posing as Aayla's friend instead of secret BF, it's deceiving him and basically cheating on him.

So I'm thinking this puts me in a dangerous and immoral position. 1st, the third party guy is being lied to, cheated on, and deceived. 2nd is that since the 3rd party sees his relationship with Aayla as a traditional relationship, he's going to do everything in his power to bring that relationship to its traditional final consummate form - marriage.

It's a natural evolution given his current knowledge, or lack thereof, of the situation.


There isn't really a good solution to this dilemma.

There are really only 2 outcomes:
1st being that the 3rd guy loses out and in the end his time and effort are wasted.

2nd is that the 3rd guy wins and he marries her. I lose out in that situation.

I suppose you could say that's just like any relationship.
Does my involvement affect it in the end? If my involvement does indeed affect the outcome, to what extent, and would i be guilty of deceit against the 3rd party?

What do you think?


I think the obvious solution to the deceit issue is simply coming out and telling people that we're in an open relationship. I didn't want to go that route though as we live in a small town and perceptions matter a lot in a small town, it wouldn't be accepted very well, and to be frank I'm not sure how I feel about 'open relationships' as it is.


Maybe I'm overthinking this. It could just as easily be argued that her and I really are 'just friends', because we don't do anything that friends wouldn't do, besides the occasional kiss.