albs19922 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 30, 2024 10:05 am
Just wondering how many "Wannabes" have brought up hotwifing or cuckolding with your partners, and how it went. It's an intimidating prospect to raise, and I'm still considering how to raise it for the first time. I want to move slowly, and probably introduce lighter things like dirty talk first before I tell her I'd like her to experience other men.
For those of you have brought it up and still consider yourself a "Wannabe," how did it go? Have you started a journey into the lifestyle, or will it only ever just be a fantasy?
My wife had two initial concerns when I brought it up to her. First, she wanted to understand why I would enjoy such a thing. Often, there insecurity makes them think that we are tired of them and want to push them off on someone else. Another common fear is, that we want to set them up to have an affair with some guy, so we can justify having an affair with some woman.
The whole idea goes against everything that most women have been taught about how we men have a need to feel special, and that we are usually possessive of them.
Some of them also still have fairy tale marriage fantasies, that we chose them because we cherish and adore them, and want to sort of put them on a pedestal.
They know that guys often view women as being in two different groups, one is sluts and whores, the other is women who are wife and mother material.
When we married them, we showed that we thought of them as special in virtuous women, who were suited to be our wife, and the mother of our children.
It is often confusing for them, that we now come to them and tell them that we would like them to do Bloody things. And they fear that we will no longer adore and revere them as The Virtuous wife and mother.
We men are better at separating and compartmentalizing our fantasies and views of them. We can enjoy them acting like a slut on Friday night, and then respect them as our wife and mother of our children, out on the sidelines of the soccer field on Saturday morning.
Women often have more difficulty separating those things in their mind.
The other fear that my wife expressed, was extreme skepticism that any man would want her still, since she was now older than when we met.
So, I started taking her out to bars, and leaving her at the bar, to go to the bathroom, but actually watching her from a distant corner of the bar. Then, I could comment on the various men who came up to sit next to her and ask if they could buy her a drink. She was very amazed that she still got attention from men. She was flattered but a little embarrassed.
I would also watch her whenever she went to the ladies room, and point out guys who checked her out, clearly looking at her in an interested and lascivious way. She was still insecure about her looks and would tell me that I was imagining interest on their part. I would challenge her to go back to the ladies room, like she forgot something, and flash a casual smile at them.
She was amazed at how many of them flashed and even bigger smile back at her, or tried to say something to her as she walked by.
The next step, was that we would talk later, and I would ask her which guys she found attractive. I would ask her which guys she would accept a date from, if she were single. After she became more comfortable discussing that, I started asking her to imagine which ones she found attractive enough that she could fantasize about accepting an invitation to go up to their hotel room with them.
Then, I turned that into a role play where, when we got home, I would ask her to imagine what it was like having sex with the guys she chose to fantasize about.
I would have her tell me what her fantasy evening with these guys would be like. She would tell me as she was stroking my penis. One time she told me her fantasy of a series of Earth shattering orgasms the guy would give her. She felt my penis getting noticeably larger and harder in her hand while she was telling me that. She still was having trouble believing that this would be a turn on for me, and she exclaimed with surprise, "Oh my god! This really turns you on doesn't it?! I felt you get harder and larger in my hand when I told you those things."
She had a hard time understanding why the thought of her cheating on me with another man, and making me jealous, could turn me on.
The insecurity about their looks, is why a lot of guys on here post photos of their wife in the hotties section. Then they can read the comments to their wives, from the men who say that they would definitely want to have sex with her.
My wife now has no trouble commenting on guys she finds hot.
but she has brought it up after that numerous times
Maybe you and your lady can come up with some similar?