How many of you have brought this up?
How many of you have brought this up?
Just wondering how many "Wannabes" have brought up hotwifing or cuckolding with your partners, and how it went. It's an intimidating prospect to raise, and I'm still considering how to raise it for the first time. I want to move slowly, and probably introduce lighter things like dirty talk first before I tell her I'd like her to experience other men.
For those of you have brought it up and still consider yourself a "Wannabe," how did it go? Have you started a journey into the lifestyle, or will it only ever just be a fantasy?
For those of you have brought it up and still consider yourself a "Wannabe," how did it go? Have you started a journey into the lifestyle, or will it only ever just be a fantasy?
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Re: How many of you have brought this up?
If the two of you don't engage in "dirty talk" with each other, I'd start close to there and learn to communicate first.albs19922 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 30, 2024 10:05 amJust wondering how many "Wannabes" have brought up hotwifing or cuckolding with your partners, and how it went. It's an intimidating prospect to raise, and I'm still considering how to raise it for the first time. I want to move slowly, and probably introduce lighter things like dirty talk first before I tell her I'd like her to experience other men.
For those of you have brought it up and still consider yourself a "Wannabe," how did it go? Have you started a journey into the lifestyle, or will it only ever just be a fantasy?
Our story viewtopic.php?f=5&t=43932#p750847
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
I think a lot depends on how you raise the question, and phrase it.
"I'd really like you to fuck another guy"
will probably start an entirely different conversation to
"Do you ever think about or fantasise about having sex with another guy?"
"I'd really like you to fuck another guy"
will probably start an entirely different conversation to
"Do you ever think about or fantasise about having sex with another guy?"
My wife's story (pictures now deleted)
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=74053
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=74053
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Re: How many of you have brought this up?
My wife is aware…. Not sure we’ll ever pull the trigger and do it but it’s a part of our sex life… didn’t bother her when I told her and she considers it quite normal and thinks a lot of guys probably have a variation of the fantasy.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
In my marriage, I was a wannabe for 9 years. I had sharing experiences before that.
The earlier you start, the better. I told my wife about those earlier experiences when we first started dating.
Ease into it if you need to. Take it slow, don't be pushy, exercise judgment. But always be 100% honest, no hedging, no "I wouldn't mind if you ...". If she asks you a question about it, give her a full, honest answer. It's scary, but just do it. Honest communication is the secret ingredient.
Eventually, tell her the full truth. If you're like most of us, you have a kink. It's a very common one, at least as a fantasy. Tell her what you really want. Show her that it's not that weird. Send her here. [ I did! Then ... wow. ]
After she knows the full truth, you might have to wait several more years (or forever -- accept that) for the seed you've planted, to maybe grow into a desire that she's willing to consider acting on (or, if you're lucky, she'll just say "Great! Let's go!")
And then you'll suddenly be in a whole new world of feelings.
The earlier you start, the better. I told my wife about those earlier experiences when we first started dating.
Ease into it if you need to. Take it slow, don't be pushy, exercise judgment. But always be 100% honest, no hedging, no "I wouldn't mind if you ...". If she asks you a question about it, give her a full, honest answer. It's scary, but just do it. Honest communication is the secret ingredient.
Eventually, tell her the full truth. If you're like most of us, you have a kink. It's a very common one, at least as a fantasy. Tell her what you really want. Show her that it's not that weird. Send her here. [ I did! Then ... wow. ]
After she knows the full truth, you might have to wait several more years (or forever -- accept that) for the seed you've planted, to maybe grow into a desire that she's willing to consider acting on (or, if you're lucky, she'll just say "Great! Let's go!")
And then you'll suddenly be in a whole new world of feelings.
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Re: How many of you have brought this up?
I have brought it up to two girlfriends and while the idea was not immediately accepted by either one, they were not angry, sad, disappointed, or anything along those lines.albs19922 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 30, 2024 10:05 amJust wondering how many "Wannabes" have brought up hotwifing or cuckolding with your partners, and how it went. It's an intimidating prospect to raise, and I'm still considering how to raise it for the first time. I want to move slowly, and probably introduce lighter things like dirty talk first before I tell her I'd like her to experience other men.
For those of you have brought it up and still consider yourself a "Wannabe," how did it go? Have you started a journey into the lifestyle, or will it only ever just be a fantasy?
The first girl was the least receptive out of the two but in 3 years she went from firm "No", to actually sleeping with multiple men and continued getting new sex partners for years.
The second woman was much more receptive, listened, was the least judgemental of my desire and actually was rather quick to setup dating profiles on various platforms. She actually took significantly less time to talk to men and start going on dates. Despite having gone on repeated dates and kissing/petting/light stripping, she has not crossed over officially to the hot girlfriend side.
The first one did not give many hopes initially but once she dived in, there was no holding her back or even changing her mind as there was definitely no turning back. It went from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye. The second one really made me think that based on her initial openness to dating and meeting men, that she would eclipse the first one but I was wrong.
Anyway, the key is honesty, and tactful delivery. Once you have tactfully delivered the truth, you need patience to let the seed grow in her head. Don't become aggressive or pushy with the topic. We tend to get very redundant when we want something and it's not only a turn off for women but out right annoying. Respecting boundaries is crucial!
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Re: How many of you have brought this up?
My wife was the one who brought it up first, so I didn't have that problem.
"And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Bent_n_Twisted
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
My wife had two initial concerns when I brought it up to her. First, she wanted to understand why I would enjoy such a thing. Often, there insecurity makes them think that we are tired of them and want to push them off on someone else. Another common fear is, that we want to set them up to have an affair with some guy, so we can justify having an affair with some woman.albs19922 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 30, 2024 10:05 amJust wondering how many "Wannabes" have brought up hotwifing or cuckolding with your partners, and how it went. It's an intimidating prospect to raise, and I'm still considering how to raise it for the first time. I want to move slowly, and probably introduce lighter things like dirty talk first before I tell her I'd like her to experience other men.
For those of you have brought it up and still consider yourself a "Wannabe," how did it go? Have you started a journey into the lifestyle, or will it only ever just be a fantasy?
The whole idea goes against everything that most women have been taught about how we men have a need to feel special, and that we are usually possessive of them.
Some of them also still have fairy tale marriage fantasies, that we chose them because we cherish and adore them, and want to sort of put them on a pedestal.
They know that guys often view women as being in two different groups, one is sluts and whores, the other is women who are wife and mother material.
When we married them, we showed that we thought of them as special in virtuous women, who were suited to be our wife, and the mother of our children.
It is often confusing for them, that we now come to them and tell them that we would like them to do Bloody things. And they fear that we will no longer adore and revere them as The Virtuous wife and mother.
We men are better at separating and compartmentalizing our fantasies and views of them. We can enjoy them acting like a slut on Friday night, and then respect them as our wife and mother of our children, out on the sidelines of the soccer field on Saturday morning.
Women often have more difficulty separating those things in their mind.
The other fear that my wife expressed, was extreme skepticism that any man would want her still, since she was now older than when we met.
So, I started taking her out to bars, and leaving her at the bar, to go to the bathroom, but actually watching her from a distant corner of the bar. Then, I could comment on the various men who came up to sit next to her and ask if they could buy her a drink. She was very amazed that she still got attention from men. She was flattered but a little embarrassed.
I would also watch her whenever she went to the ladies room, and point out guys who checked her out, clearly looking at her in an interested and lascivious way. She was still insecure about her looks and would tell me that I was imagining interest on their part. I would challenge her to go back to the ladies room, like she forgot something, and flash a casual smile at them.
She was amazed at how many of them flashed and even bigger smile back at her, or tried to say something to her as she walked by.
The next step, was that we would talk later, and I would ask her which guys she found attractive. I would ask her which guys she would accept a date from, if she were single. After she became more comfortable discussing that, I started asking her to imagine which ones she found attractive enough that she could fantasize about accepting an invitation to go up to their hotel room with them.
Then, I turned that into a role play where, when we got home, I would ask her to imagine what it was like having sex with the guys she chose to fantasize about.
I would have her tell me what her fantasy evening with these guys would be like. She would tell me as she was stroking my penis. One time she told me her fantasy of a series of Earth shattering orgasms the guy would give her. She felt my penis getting noticeably larger and harder in her hand while she was telling me that. She still was having trouble believing that this would be a turn on for me, and she exclaimed with surprise, "Oh my god! This really turns you on doesn't it?! I felt you get harder and larger in my hand when I told you those things."
She had a hard time understanding why the thought of her cheating on me with another man, and making me jealous, could turn me on.
The insecurity about their looks, is why a lot of guys on here post photos of their wife in the hotties section. Then they can read the comments to their wives, from the men who say that they would definitely want to have sex with her.
My wife now has no trouble commenting on guys she finds hot.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
Exactly the approach to take. Well written and spot on with what she is feeling and how to respond.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
I want to try the bar scenes and see if there is a connection with a guy. How quickly did things progress from this stage to hotwife for you?MartasBoy wrote: ↑Wed Oct 02, 2024 8:05 am
My wife had two initial concerns when I brought it up to her. First, she wanted to understand why I would enjoy such a thing. Often, there insecurity makes them think that we are tired of them and want to push them off on someone else. Another common fear is, that we want to set them up to have an affair with some guy, so we can justify having an affair with some woman.
The whole idea goes against everything that most women have been taught about how we men have a need to feel special, and that we are usually possessive of them.
Some of them also still have fairy tale marriage fantasies, that we chose them because we cherish and adore them, and want to sort of put them on a pedestal.
They know that guys often view women as being in two different groups, one is sluts and whores, the other is women who are wife and mother material.
When we married them, we showed that we thought of them as special in virtuous women, who were suited to be our wife, and the mother of our children.
It is often confusing for them, that we now come to them and tell them that we would like them to do Bloody things. And they fear that we will no longer adore and revere them as The Virtuous wife and mother.
We men are better at separating and compartmentalizing our fantasies and views of them. We can enjoy them acting like a slut on Friday night, and then respect them as our wife and mother of our children, out on the sidelines of the soccer field on Saturday morning.
Women often have more difficulty separating those things in their mind.
The other fear that my wife expressed, was extreme skepticism that any man would want her still, since she was now older than when we met.
So, I started taking her out to bars, and leaving her at the bar, to go to the bathroom, but actually watching her from a distant corner of the bar. Then, I could comment on the various men who came up to sit next to her and ask if they could buy her a drink. She was very amazed that she still got attention from men. She was flattered but a little embarrassed.
I would also watch her whenever she went to the ladies room, and point out guys who checked her out, clearly looking at her in an interested and lascivious way. She was still insecure about her looks and would tell me that I was imagining interest on their part. I would challenge her to go back to the ladies room, like she forgot something, and flash a casual smile at them.
She was amazed at how many of them flashed and even bigger smile back at her, or tried to say something to her as she walked by.
The next step, was that we would talk later, and I would ask her which guys she found attractive. I would ask her which guys she would accept a date from, if she were single. After she became more comfortable discussing that, I started asking her to imagine which ones she found attractive enough that she could fantasize about accepting an invitation to go up to their hotel room with them.
Then, I turned that into a role play where, when we got home, I would ask her to imagine what it was like having sex with the guys she chose to fantasize about.
I would have her tell me what her fantasy evening with these guys would be like. She would tell me as she was stroking my penis. One time she told me her fantasy of a series of Earth shattering orgasms the guy would give her. She felt my penis getting noticeably larger and harder in her hand while she was telling me that. She still was having trouble believing that this would be a turn on for me, and she exclaimed with surprise, "Oh my god! This really turns you on doesn't it?! I felt you get harder and larger in my hand when I told you those things."
She had a hard time understanding why the thought of her cheating on me with another man, and making me jealous, could turn me on.
The insecurity about their looks, is why a lot of guys on here post photos of their wife in the hotties section. Then they can read the comments to their wives, from the men who say that they would definitely want to have sex with her.
My wife now has no trouble commenting on guys she finds hot.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
It took a while. It was a very slow and gradual process, for her too accept it. Some people never get past this stage of fantasy play.drj7070 wrote: ↑Sun Nov 10, 2024 1:48 amI want to try the bar scenes and see if there is a connection with a guy. How quickly did things progress from this stage to hotwife for you?MartasBoy wrote: ↑Wed Oct 02, 2024 8:05 am
My wife had two initial concerns when I brought it up to her. First, she wanted to understand why I would enjoy such a thing. Often, there insecurity makes them think that we are tired of them and want to push them off on someone else.
My wife now has no trouble commenting on guys she finds hot.
There was a long time when we would meet for drinks after work, in an upscale cocktail lounge. When I first suggested this play, she thought it was silly and was convinced that no one would pay her any attention, because she was no longer the cute young thing she was, in her twenties.
We would each arrive separately after work. I would sit at a table, and she would sit alone at the bar. If anybody asked her, she told them she was waiting to meet a girlfriend for drinks.
Guys would ask to sit by her and visit with her until her girlfriend showed up. When she would finally conclude that her girlfriend stood her up, guys would offer to by her dinner.
She was very surprised that guys would still hit on her. Some of them seemed a little sleazy and desperate, but there were some who were good looking gentleman.
When we were done playing, we would go somewhere else and have dinner. I would ask her which guy she found attractive. I would ask her which guys she could imagine herself going with, if she ever decided to do such a thing. I created bedroom play out of it, by asking her to tell me her fantasy of how she would imagine the sex would be with the guys she picked out. We would do this in bed, as she fondled me. It amazed her that she could feel my penis actually getting harder, when she would share specifics about her fantasy, of what she would do with the various men she met at the bar.
It stayed at this level for a long time before she ever acted. And when she did, it was not a guy at the bar, but an old friend she reconnected with, who she knew before she met me.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
Ok I can see this kind of play could help with some real talk in the bedroom about who she likes the best. Very hot scenario
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Re: How many of you have brought this up?
Have brought it up to many times to count over 30 years, first time she was pissed but she has brought it up after that numerous times
And even had an affair
And even had an affair
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
I started with “I like it when I see other guys checking you out”, and slowly moved through “I like it when you dress up knowing I’m not there” and “I’d like other guys to flirt with you” to “If someone asked you out I wouldn’t mind you saying yes” and “Sometimes I think about you having sex with another guy”. I even got as far as “I think Ben at work likes you. You should try and get him to ask you out.”
She’s played along so far, although I don’t think she’ll ever go further than roleplay in real life. Ben didn’t ask her out.
She’s played along so far, although I don’t think she’ll ever go further than roleplay in real life. Ben didn’t ask her out.
My Louise:
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Re: How many of you have brought this up?
She hated the idea, even though I joke with her about it. She always laughs and rolls her eyes. If I try and bring it up seriously she says no way. I’ve even told her I’d do stuff with the guy if it made her happy, still no. Short of a drunken night out with the girlfriends to a male strip club, it could happen spontaneously but that’s probably the only way.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
I told her a few years ago. She said she wouldn't do it, but would happily play along with some dirty talk. She's been hot and cold about it over the years, but lately has warmed back up to the idea. Lately we've been dirty talking it every time we have sex, whereas when she was cool on the idea she'd dirty talk maybe once a month. Just the other day she was being quite serious and said that we should get some condoms and put them in our vacation bag just in case she meets someone while we're on vacation.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
Hopefully where I’ll be at soon! My GF plays along but says she’d never do it.KevKev wrote: ↑Wed Nov 20, 2024 6:58 pmI told her a few years ago. She said she wouldn't do it, but would happily play along with some dirty talk. She's been hot and cold about it over the years, but lately has warmed back up to the idea. Lately we've been dirty talking it every time we have sex, whereas when she was cool on the idea she'd dirty talk maybe once a month. Just the other day she was being quite serious and said that we should get some condoms and put them in our vacation bag just in case she meets someone while we're on vacation.
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
My wife goes shopping in the morning on weekends and that has been great for our fantasy life. When she's out she sees her "boyfriend" and comes home to me afterwards. We'll have sex and she'll tell me all about riding his big cock and how she loves coming home with a pussy full of cum for me. It's been so much fun I think both of us get turned on when she goes to Wal-Mart Maybe you and your lady can come up with some similar?
Re: How many of you have brought this up?
I think I've met that guy, Walter Mart.
He's somehow related to that Al Ninya guy, the one that's causing all the weather problems.
He's somehow related to that Al Ninya guy, the one that's causing all the weather problems.
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Re: How many of you have brought this up?
For years I gave her clues like: I think it's not that big of a deal when some woman cheat, like if you get drunk and told me that you did something in a party with another guy, I will understand, other times we were watching a movie and a threesome was mentioned and she asked if I would do that, I said that I would prefer for her to be with me and another man than me with her and another woman, we even watched cuckold porn sometimes. One day she told me that one of her fantasies was to fuck with a male escort, that she is curious about him being very good at sex...
One day we were a little drunk and I confessed my fantasy to watch her fuck with another man, and I mentioned that her fantasy was to fuck with a male escort... she didn't get mad and just remained in silence, but I can tell that she was somehow curious about it and didn't discard the idea
The male escort it's not ideal for me, but if she wants it then I don't mind to be cuckolded that way, I hope one day I can accomplish that.
One day we were a little drunk and I confessed my fantasy to watch her fuck with another man, and I mentioned that her fantasy was to fuck with a male escort... she didn't get mad and just remained in silence, but I can tell that she was somehow curious about it and didn't discard the idea
The male escort it's not ideal for me, but if she wants it then I don't mind to be cuckolded that way, I hope one day I can accomplish that.
My Sims fan-created cuckolding story:
https://guiascornudismo.blogspot.com/20 ... 0013748dab
https://guiascornudismo.blogspot.com/20 ... 0013748dab