Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

Curious to know if SW has as much energy about her workouts with her trainer as she showed a few weeks ago

She continues to make these workouts a great priority on Wednesdays and Fridays. Today is Friday and she deliberately limited her wine last night over dinner and went to bed a bit earlier (for her) because of the plans to workout today. Note that her workout is usually at noon, so she doesn't really need to go to bed early but my point is that the workout is so important to her, she makes this point of telling me she is going to keep it light and go to bed early.

[slenderfish]

Update on SW's intention regarding hotwifing.

Last night as we were having some final conversations before turning over and going to sleep in our bed, the conversation offered up a natural path to asking about her expectations and thoughts. I observed to her that she has been pooh-poohing any conversations I have about possible activity.

My example was the recent images she took of herself in lingerie, that she sent to me a week ago Wednesday (on the 8th) while I was out of town on business. The example was when I saw her on Friday (last week) on her way out to do her workout with Mr. G, I leaned into her car window as she was backing out of the garage and stopped her for a quick goodbye kiss and my usual wish that he "takes good care of working out your pretty little ass." I the thanked her again for the images and reminded her of my bigger fantasy, to see what she might say. She pooh-poohed it, kind of said "don't get your hopes up" or something like that.

After I mentioned that last night, she came back at me rather harshly. Said "oh, I'm not finished with hotwifing" but followed up with a bit of an angry comment that I kind of ruined the gift of the lingerie images with what I'd said last week as she was leaving for Mr. G. That she was buzzing with pride for sending them to me and that I subverted her joyful effort with the comment about my "real fantasy"; that her gift was somehow "not enough" for me. Oops! I tried to walk it back and ultimately explained that I'd kind of lost hope in the bigger hotwife concept for her and have been trying to test her to find out her intentions, and that's what was behind my query and comment that day. That I apologize for unintentionally demeaning her gift of the images, and that I do know it's so unusual that it must have been quite an effort to get outside of herself and do this for me.

She accepted the apology but remains modestly disappointed in how the gift of the images turned out.

Uggh, can't win. I gotta be more careful and sensitive.

But at the same time, the dream remains alive and well!

[solstice]

I gotta be more careful and sensitive.

Reminds me of the song "How to handle a woman" I doubt that there can be any easy answers to your particular dilemma.

[afagehi7]

Update on SW's intention regarding hotwifing.

Last night as we were having some final conversations before turning over and going to sleep in our bed, the conversation offered up a natural path to asking about her expectations and thoughts. I observed to her that she has been pooh-poohing any conversations I have about possible activity.

My example was the recent images she took of herself in lingerie, that she sent to me a week ago Wednesday (on the 8th) while I was out of town on business. The example was when I saw her on Friday (last week) on her way out to do her workout with Mr. G, I leaned into her car window as she was backing out of the garage and stopped her for a quick goodbye kiss and my usual wish that he "takes good care of working out your pretty little ass." I the thanked her again for the images and reminded her of my bigger fantasy, to see what she might say. She pooh-poohed it, kind of said "don't get your hopes up" or something like that.

After I mentioned that last night, she came back at me rather harshly. Said "oh, I'm not finished with hotwifing" but followed up with a bit of an angry comment that I kind of ruined the gift of the lingerie images with what I'd said last week as she was leaving for Mr. G. That she was buzzing with pride for sending them to me and that I subverted her joyful effort with the comment about my "real fantasy"; that her gift was somehow "not enough" for me. Oops! I tried to walk it back and ultimately explained that I'd kind of lost hope in the bigger hotwife concept for her and have been trying to test her to find out her intentions, and that's what was behind my query and comment that day. That I apologize for unintentionally demeaning her gift of the images, and that I do know it's so unusual that it must have been quite an effort to get outside of herself and do this for me.

She accepted the apology but remains modestly disappointed in how the gift of the images turned out.

Uggh, can't win. I gotta be more careful and sensitive.

But at the same time, the dream remains alive and well!

Hummmm.... would she really take such offense if she had only done it for you?

Example: the truth is what hurts feelings. I stand by that you weren't the original intention but a side effect... Upset because you cracked the code. Did she say that she only sent to you?

Either way, observe and document...

[BallSpanking]

OK, I'll say it.
They can be an ENORMOUS pain in the ass.

[afagehi7]

OK, I'll say it.
They can be an ENORMOUS pain in the ass.

Him: hon, where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't care, you pick
Him: let's go to wa-ho.
Her: not there,
Him where?
Her you choose.

Repeat indefinitely until you choose the place she wants to go.

Bahahahahaha.. just tell us what you want!

[Marco]

OK, I'll say it.
They can be an ENORMOUS pain in the ass.

Him: hon, where do you want to go to dinner?
Her: I don't care, you pick
Him: let's go to wa-ho.
Her: not there,
Him where?
Her you choose.

Repeat indefinitely until you choose the place she wants to go.

Bahahahahaha.. just tell us what you want!

I can confirm it works the same in the old continent as well, it comes with the package :-)

[slenderfish]

Hummmm.... would she really take such offense if she had only done it for you?

Good point. I follow your thinking here, and do think you may be onto something.

Example: the truth is what hurts feelings. I stand by that you weren't the original intention but a side effect... Upset because you cracked the code. Did she say that she only sent to you?

I didn't ask anything about sending to anyone else. I figured (as a matter of tactics) that my pushing the idea that she's fully given up hotwifing might have a side benefit of her concluding that I don't know anything about any contact with other guys that may be going on right now.

Either way, observe and document...

Yes, we all know I have basic capabilities on these.

[setv4]

I just think that she is trying to use a defections tactic, because (She thinks) She knows that You know that the photos to you were after she took and shared them with the new man in the mix. Some women, mine included, could be caught or even been recorded, in the act of doing something, and they will deny that it never happened, or somehow say it was My fault for what happened.
Those actions from My wife, I believe are because she has this Good Girl/Bad Girl thing, that been going on for over 45+ years.
She can have multiple orgasams after she has shown off, flirted and been touchy with others, but a day or two afterwards, it never happened.
I know that she has always gotten turned on & gets off on showing herself off to strangers, friends, coworkers & some relatives. I knew that she had something going on with a couple of close friends, back in the late 1970's - the mid 1990's. I never caught her haveing sex with any of them, but a number of times she was caught in some compromising postions, hair and clothing disheveled, looking very nervous and such.
The last few years, we have been advancing towards hot hotwifing, with a couple of close friends, but at times it's one step forward then two or three steps back.
We will see were things go tomorrow, when we C get together with one of those friends. Wish us luck!
Fish, I hope that things go the way You want them to go too!
Happy Holidays!

[slenderfish]

I just think that she is trying to use a defections tactic, because (She thinks) She knows that You know that the photos to you were after she took and shared them with the new man in the mix. Some women, mine included, could be caught or even been recorded, in the act of doing something, and they will deny that it never happened, or somehow say it was My fault for what happened.
Those actions from My wife, I believe are because she has this Good Girl/Bad Girl thing, that been going on for over 45+ years.
She can have multiple orgasams after she has shown off, flirted and been touchy with others, but a day or two afterwards, it never happened.
I know that she has always gotten turned on & gets off on showing herself off to strangers, friends, coworkers & some relatives. I knew that she had something going on with a couple of close friends, back in the late 1970's - the mid 1990's. I never caught her haveing sex with any of them, but a number of times she was caught in some compromising postions, hair and clothing disheveled, looking very nervous and such.
The last few years, we have been advancing towards hot hotwifing, with a couple of close friends, but at times it's one step forward then two or three steps back.
We will see were things go tomorrow, when we C get together with one of those friends. Wish us luck!
Fish, I hope that things go the way You want them to go too!
Happy Holidays!

Sounds very similar. Thanks for sharing. Yes, best of luck!

[slenderfish]

We are attending the surprise birthday party that Mr. E is throwing for his girlfriend tomorrow afternoon. It's an upscale affair, with a theme and a requirement that all the women wear red dresses and the men either red jackets or slacks.

SW until just a couple of weeks ago has been boycotting this relationship, in that she declined to participate when we got together with Mr. E as couples. I became more of a third wheel with them. It became obvious enough that we started to not be invited. When our friend was in town from Europe in October, I took her as my date for a meet-up with Mr. E and his girl, dining at the restaurant of a five-star hotel closer to where he lives.

SW finally got her head around the fact that these two are together, so she has actively re-engaged.

You may remember that SW soured on this woman at Mr. E's boat party on the 4th of July. She was too raunchy for SW's tastes. But she's now the steady of Mr. E (pretty much since that time) and it appears she has revised her approach to being super upscale in dress, actions and attitude.

I'll make it a point to grab images. Will be hot.

[Mark K]

Images will be good. What direction are you taking, re: the red jacket or pants?

[slenderfish]

Images will be good. What direction are you taking, re: the red jacket or pants?

I luckily happen to have a red jacket that will be perfect for the occasion. Not a red holiday jacket, but a red one with a plaid flair. SW gets credit for obtaining this with her good eye, last year.

[Mark K]

Oh, nice!

[Tryn]

I’m not buying SW’s explanation of the lingerie pics. I was concerned when you posted how you outlined the scenario that it struck too close to the truth and her radar would detect it. I think she’s gaslighting you, which usually makes the gaslighter a “victim” in a sense and the other as the one hurting them. She doesn’t like to get caught in deceit and I think she gaslights you in response to it. Just my opinion mind you.

[superb101]

I’m not buying SW’s explanation of the lingerie pics. I was concerned when you posted how you outlined the scenario that it struck too close to the truth and her radar would detect it. I think she’s gaslighting you, which usually makes the gaslighter a “victim” in a sense and the other as the one hurting them. She doesn’t like to get caught in deceit and I think she gaslights you in response to it. Just my opinion mind you.

I COMPLETELY agree! This is what my cheating ex did to a T!

[slenderfish]

I’m not buying SW’s explanation of the lingerie pics. I was concerned when you posted how you outlined the scenario that it struck too close to the truth and her radar would detect it. I think she’s gaslighting you, which usually makes the gaslighter a “victim” in a sense and the other as the one hurting them. She doesn’t like to get caught in deceit and I think she gaslights you in response to it. Just my opinion mind you.

I COMPLETELY agree! This is what my cheating ex did to a T!

I'm on high alert for this result, even going overboard to hint that I won't possibly be fooled and certainly won't stand for it. I hope that comes through in what I've been posting.

I would much rather risk her getting skittish about hotwife activities because I'm cramping her style, versus be on the wrong side of cheating. But of course I'm best operating in stealth mode in order to know which it may be. Stealth mode in this case just means keeping chill and watching closely.

[afagehi7]

I’m not buying SW’s explanation of the lingerie pics. I was concerned when you posted how you outlined the scenario that it struck too close to the truth and her radar would detect it. I think she’s gaslighting you, which usually makes the gaslighter a “victim” in a sense and the other as the one hurting them. She doesn’t like to get caught in deceit and I think she gaslights you in response to it. Just my opinion mind you.

I COMPLETELY agree! This is what my cheating ex did to a T!

I'm on high alert for this result, even going overboard to hint that I won't possibly be fooled and certainly won't stand for it. I hope that comes through in what I've been posting.

I would much rather risk her getting skittish about hotwife activities because I'm cramping her style, versus be on the wrong side of cheating. But of course I'm best operating in stealth mode in order to know which it may be. Stealth mode in this case just means keeping chill and watching closely.

You have an impeccable strategy... Just don't let emotions get in the way of logic

[OC_Ken]

Fish

Your assumption so far seems to be that she went out with a girlfriend while you were out of town and happened to meet the new guy. They exchanged phone numbers and then had two calls in the small hours, punctuated by her sending him the lingerie pics.

But, is that what really happened - no-one has met the supposed girlfriend, so does she actually exist? It seems to be at least possible that SW had met him on a previous occasion and that night was a prearranged date. Have you checked the account for any previous phone contact between them? (I assume you have checked and/or will check for subsequent contact.)

Her unlikely cover story and her much changed behaviour towards you strongly indicate that she is cheating. If it waddles like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. Perhaps SW should now be changed to CW ...

[slenderfish]

Fish

Your assumption so far seems to be that she went out with a girlfriend while you were out of town and happened to meet the new guy. They exchanged phone numbers and then had two calls in the small hours, punctuated by her sending him the lingerie pics.

But, is that what really happened - no-one has met the supposed girlfriend, so does she actually exist? It seems to be at least possible that SW had met him on a previous occasion and that night was a prearranged date. Have you checked the account for any previous phone contact between them? (I assume you have checked and/or will check for subsequent contact.)

Her unlikely cover story and her much changed behaviour towards you strongly indicate that she is cheating. If it waddles like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. Perhaps SW should now be changed to CW ...

I've morphed my concept to roughly what you noted above. That she had plans with other girls but they fell through and/or at least one of the girls was to meet her there but cancelled and/or was a no-show. So she either remained with the one she mentioned (but I have no idea who this is and it appeared she was spitballing when she hurriedly explained) or by herself. Got happy with wine and received attention from this guy (and perhaps his friend?) and it went from there.

I have seen no indication of any prior contact, nor subsequent. So it was either a one-off, or they have moved to a more anonymous method of communicating.

I have concluded there was no prior contact, because of the communication that occurred with her mobile phone number. That is consistent with her giving him the number at the bar/restaurant and his calling her (either expectedly or unexpectly) that night. If they have continued communication since then, it's in another method.

I have developed a postulate that I mentioned in the other string in the Hotties section.

In any case, I remain on high alert for activity that is outside of the bounds of hotwifing. For now, I'll continue to supply rope for her foray(s) hoping for the best and trusting her intentions toward me and our marriage.

I'll note that over the past several weeks she has really gone out of her way to do some things I'd been hoping from her for some years, partial list as follows:

- The sexy lingerie pics

- Dressing sexier with no bra and not fretting over her cleavage peeking out, even a nipple

- Making friends with the female partner of my closest friends, even though she does not like these women (has legitimate issues for the things they've done in the past) so that we may be able to go out as couples

- Taking more responsibility and the lead on significant elements of finalizing the house remodel

These are all consistent with her general upswing in energy and mood. Upswing in energy and mood may be generated by interest in a new hotwife fling, especially if the person meets all or most of what she would look for in such a man.

Finally, the guy who she probably sent the images to is exactly what I'd requested as one of my top fantasies for her. She has never had interest in this kind of guy but has moved that direction in the past few months.

[BallSpanking]

Hi Fish,

Happy Holidays to you and SW, and wish for you all the best in the coming year.

Thanks for posting your thoughts on SW's HW progress. I found myself laughing out loud when I read you were on 'high alert for behavior outside the bounds of HotWifing ..' Most husbands would be on high alert for their wives' behavior "Within the bounds of HotWifing"!

Be that as it may, I find your approach to your wife's behavior tolerant to a fault, and frankly, after having followed your entire thread, it has served you in good stead. Whereas some who post here are quick to jump to HW related conclusions (in some cases condemnations, as pertains to cheating), you have remained as forbearing as any husband could be, and awaited the outcome of said debacles, before correcting her course of action.

Whatever the true status of SW's Hotwife intentions may be, I think YOU have a clearer understanding than any one of us (though even you admit she is secretive and enigmatic). So, I would urge you to take-on only those insights you find are fitting to your situation (that goes for my advice as well). You know her best. Instead of blowing things up over her secrecy, you observe, intuit, present persuasive suggestions and leave her to interpret them correctly.

I believe you know very well who she is, and who she could be, if she only relaxed enough to trust you into her innermost confidence, and include you in her man-play. The alternative is that she is an inveterate cheater, and will never willingly share her sexual behavior with you. Frankly I find that narrative distasteful and unpersuasive, but I know I am sometimes wrong.

Cheers, SF.

[slenderfish]

Hi Fish,

Happy Holidays to you and SW, and wish for you all the best in the coming year.

Thanks for posting your thoughts on SW's HW progress. I found myself laughing out loud when I read you were on 'high alert for behavior outside the bounds of HotWifing ..' Most husbands would be on high alert for their wives' behavior "Within the bounds of HotWifing"!

Be that as it may, I find your approach to your wife's behavior tolerant to a fault, and frankly, after having followed your entire thread, it has served you in good stead. Whereas some who post here are quick to jump to HW related conclusions (in some cases condemnations, as pertains to cheating), you have remained as forbearing as any husband could be, and awaited the outcome of said debacles, before correcting her course of action.

Whatever the true status of SW's Hotwife intentions may be, I think YOU have a clearer understanding than any one of us (though even you admit she is secretive and enigmatic). So, I would urge you to take-on only those insights you find are fitting to your situation (that goes for my advice as well). You know her best. Instead of blowing things up over her secrecy, you observe, intuit, present persuasive suggestions and leave her to interpret them correctly.

I believe you know very well who she is, and who she could be, if she only relaxed enough to trust you into her innermost confidence, and include you in her man-play. The alternative is that she is an inveterate cheater, and will never willingly share her sexual behavior with you. Frankly I find that narrative distasteful and unpersuasive, but I know I am sometimes wrong.

Cheers, SF.

Thanks for your salient observations and recap.

Cheers to a productive New Year full of juicy hotwife adventures, and everything else!

[CuriousUK]

Sounds like you may be getting your birthday wish sooner rather than later my friend. What a way to start a new year

[slenderfish]

Interesting conversation yesterday regarding Mr. E and his girlfriend. You may recall that SW met this girl the first time last July 4 party at the house and an after-party spilling over onto the boat. She is a hottie whom we first met at a party in June. My postings from back then mention how we'd met her briefly as a new girl on the Friday night party in June (we attended that party as a specific request of Mr. E in order that SW meet the owner of the house, which has a boat dock and the owner is/was letting Mr. E use the dock temporarily as a favor. As a side note, the boat is still at this dock.

Anyway, it was a coincidence that the next night we attended our friend Mr. R's birthday party (the one where it was a hot summer night and SW ended up in the pool at 1:30 a.m. and came out dripping wet and showing her talent via a mostly-transparent white short dress). The coincidence was that we were staying at a swanky hotel and while SW was sleeping it off, I went down to the pool and got a call from Mr. E that this new woman from the Friday night party was at that very pool at that very moment and that he is interested in her and I should go be the wingman for him. And I did.

They ended up talking a bit and there was the lead-up to the big July 4 party on Mr. E's boat. At the party, it was well attended and Mr. E got his dick sucked by about four or five different women throughout the day and night. At the end of the party, there was this after-party over on the boat, only for those invited. The additional music and drinking led to this woman and a girl going at it in the state room of the boat, while a couple of the single guys who are close friends of Mr. E and mine trying to work their way into the room with the girls.

But before the girls got hinky, this new one (who later became Mr. E's girlfriend) got quite handsy and touchy with SW and was essentially inviting her for a roll in the hay. SW did not push her away but at the same time did not actively respond.

The next day SW was pissy at the recollection of the end of the evening, and concluded that this woman "is a slut" and that SW wants nothing to do with her.

We haven't gotten together with Mr. E as a couple since that time, until this past Saturday night. Mr. E was hosting a surprise birthday party for his new love (this woman) and had invited us in hopes we might attend and the ice between the girls be melted. SW was a lovely person and agreed to attend and to give this woman a chance to show she is more mainstream.

It may be useful also to note that in October our friend from Europe was here and she accompanied me on a casual but very nice breakfast date to meet up with Mr. E and this girlfriend at a 5-star hotel property. Ms. Europe was smitten with this girlfriend of Mr. E and gave a glowing report to SW.

Fast forward to Saturday night, it went well, SW had a great time and greeted some friends we've missed since July 4, etc.

At the end of that party, Mr. E's girlfriend was so moved by SW's effort that she invited us to join her and Mr. E for their romantic and planned dinner on Sunday night, on the actual day of her birthday. We agreed and did join them (after SW tried to get out of it on Sunday afternoon but I wouldn't stand for us flaking on our friends). It was nice, the girlfriend was stunning in her styling, and everyone got along quite well. Mr. E (as always) talked about traveling and planning some kind of big trip together, etc.

Fast forward to Tuesday night, after my return from the business trip. SW, kind of out of nowhere, said that she found Mr. E's assumption that we (she) would be willing to travel abroad and rent a boat for several days, just as us two couples, to be a bit much. That she is able and wiling to be in the same room, same party, same restaurant as this girlfriend, but certainly not on an extended trip as two couples.

I said I understand but at the same time reminded her of her "gift" to me this year, which is her willingness to become friendly with some of the women she doesn't necessarily prefer, if these women are attached to close friends of mine.

Her response was "Mr. E is my friend as much as yours, if not more so. I have a special connection to him, in that I've given him a sexy lap dance, so don't forget about that."

[BallSpanking]

"Smitten"?
I always thought the past tense of "smite", was "smut".