Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[rooster444]

- She has been going into the other room when changing clothes, keeping her nakedness to herself

- Also with showering and after the shower making sure to cover up right away

Sounds like she has been getting the nice firm spankings she deserves and might have an occasional red little bottom she doesn't want to show you.

[JeffBingham]

The list of recent behavioral changes you have observed sound like they could have come directly from the "surviving infidelity" subreddit. Especially the phone guarding, increased modesty, and more frequent rejection of sexual advances.

[BallSpanking]

I would be reticent to jump to conclusions before having a clear indication of just what is taking place.
In a HW forum, most posters immediately go to the HW or infidelity dynamic, because that is their focus.
It does not necessarily reflect reality. It can be ANY number of things, including infidelity.

[JeffBingham]

I would be reticent to jump to conclusions before having a clear indication of just what is taking place.
In a HW forum, most posters immediately go to the HW or infidelity dynamic, because that is their focus.
It does not necessarily reflect reality. It can be ANY number of things, including infidelity.

I don't disagree. In fact, I was conscious of that very dynamic, which is why I was careful to NOT make any conclusions or accusations. I only stated a fact (if you don't believe it's a fact, go see for yourself on Reddit). And although I was tempted, I avoided the history of SW's obfuscation

[slenderfish]

- She has been going into the other room when changing clothes, keeping her nakedness to herself

- Also with showering and after the shower making sure to cover up right away

Sounds like she has been getting the nice firm spankings she deserves and might have an occasional red little bottom she doesn't want to show you.

You inflame my hotwife desires with your colorful analysis. Thank you! Big smile.

[BallSpanking]

I don't disagree. In fact, I was conscious of that very dynamic, which is why I was careful to NOT make any conclusions or accusations. I only stated a fact (if you don't believe it's a fact, go see for yourself on Reddit). And although I was tempted, I avoided the history of SW's obfuscation

Apologies, JeffBingham, not pointing to you specifically, my comment refers to the general slant.

[slenderfish]

The list of recent behavioral changes you have observed sound like they could have come directly from the "surviving infidelity" subreddit. Especially the phone guarding, increased modesty, and more frequent rejection of sexual advances.

Yes. But this is also a natural development if she, indeed, is mentally and psychologically preparing herself (even in her mind) to give herself over to another man.

I have no issue with it and, indeed, will fully support it if she is on the hotwife path with this.

[slenderfish]

I don't disagree. In fact, I was conscious of that very dynamic, which is why I was careful to NOT make any conclusions or accusations. I only stated a fact (if you don't believe it's a fact, go see for yourself on Reddit). And although I was tempted, I avoided the history of SW's obfuscation

Apologies, JeffBingham, not pointing to you specifically, my comment refers to the general slant.

I thank both of you for your relevant and thought-provoking contributions here.

[JeffBingham]

The list of recent behavioral changes you have observed sound like they could have come directly from the "surviving infidelity" subreddit. Especially the phone guarding, increased modesty, and more frequent rejection of sexual advances.

Yes. But this is also a natural development if she, indeed, is mentally and psychologically preparing herself (even in her mind) to give herself over to another man.

I have no issue with it and, indeed, will fully support it if she is on the hotwife path with this.

[slenderfish]

What reason did you give her for cancelling your trip?

I am in a high-level leadership role with the Texas business and am directing several significant projects with inside staffing and outside professionals. My leading these is the primary reason I was recruited. There are limited productive days remaining before the holidays get in the way of substantial progress. All of these projects are due "yesterday."

The primary purpose for this week's trip was to attend a company holiday event, to hobnob and expand my brand within the broader group of employees. If you have a new boss and you never met him, etc. This would certainly be the time.

However, the projects are going to lose two days of momentum if I am away from my desk, because some elements of these projects can only be accomplished by me. Also that I need to review the work and get it back to them later today, so that they can continue without additional delay.

So the real reason is that I need to remain at my desk and move these along. Can't be spending 10 hours traveling (5 hours each way) just to spend a day shaking hands and kissing babies. That can wait; the projects cannot.

[superb101]

Perfect! Completely understandable!!!!

[anonymister1948]

First, I want to apologize for jumping on the "she's cheating" bandwagon. Instead, I should have pointed out that all of SW's behaviors, hiding her phone, lack of affection, not letting you see her nude, and other behaviors are right out of the cheater's handbook. It doesn't definitively point to cheating but I'm sure you are concerned given her past indiscretions before marriage and more recently with Mr. B. The lawyer sounds like he could be the perfect monkey branch for her as he has all the properties that you've indicated she likes: tall, successful, powerful position. I hope your marriage survives if that is the case. Have you thought of what you would do if she is indeed having an affair and hiding it?

[slenderfish]

Is there a "the story so far" post? I want to read this, but 100 pages is a bit much.

Hmmm good point.

- She knew of my desire for hotwifing for some years and always threw wet water on it.

- In 2018 she started flirting and meeting guys when we were out, and I gave her room to do it though she never pursued anything; I think she didn't even realize what she was doing but just developed because I wasn't putting any lid on it when she did chat and flirt.

- One of our new friends is Mr. B whom we met in Feb 2019. At the time he was the husband of a woman we knew and I had met in June 2018. They were beginning a friendly divorce after many years of emotional and physical separation but "staying together for the kids") somehow caught her as the primary friendship (instead of me) and I supported it, knowing he is a dog. He and I ended up later having a business relationship beginning summer of 2020 (through some back channels) but that's getting ahead. I continued to support SW's higher level of communication with him after we crossed paths with him in June 2019 on vacation in the South of France, where he was solo and chasing the hottest single blonde. I could tell that SW was unhappy his attention was on the single blonde and not her. She actually called him out on that specific point, before the trip was over. He got the message, loud and clear. I also observed that he did bed this single hottie, but when asked about it by SW he said he had not. That caught my attention, because I knew that if he had told SW he was with that woman, SW would lose her energy. He is a smart man. After that, SW's extra energy toward him was not lost on me, and I sat back and watched and smiled as he worked his way into her inner circle of girlfriends. She was obviously completely open to it and encouraged it. So she and he became "close personal friends" (in her words "he's like my gay brother, I am comfortable around him as one of the girls") while I remained a "business friend."

- She began to invite him to girls' events she organized for when I was out of town (or expected to be out of town) but also didn't mention to me he was invited. Of course, he didn't know I wasn't supposed to know, so I did become aware of this after the fact in some cases, and before the fact in others.

- It kind of progressed from this subtle pairing up when we all went out with a group (e.g. she would walk with him instead of me, she would insist to sit next to him while I was across, she would ask me to drive her girlfriend home while she went in his car, etc.). I believed she was taking him into her developing hotwife plans and didn't want to spoil it by calling her out on it.

- One such time, she rode with him back to our temporary apartment where he was going to stay overnight because he lives an hour away. I was taking her girlfriend home which would be an additional 15 min each direction. I got back to our house and waited for her to call me (to give her time alone with him) to pick her up and drive her the rest of the way home (about 5 min) and she took quite some time before reaching out. By that time, I'd already gone over there in anticipation of her call but didn't want her to know I was waiting there at the front door (of my apartment). I heard giggling, etc. so stood up on my toes and looked in, seeing certain lights on (in the bedroom) and all other lights off. I then entered the apartment suddenly and on purpose a few minutes before she would expect if I were coming from our house. As I was climbing the stairs to the bedroom level, I heard some noise and fluster and when I reached the landing she popped out of the room and took me immediately further upstairs to the tv room level. She said he was asleep and to be quiet. She didn't notice her naked breast was fully exposed and I didn't comment on it. I whispered to her I will be quiet so he may sleep. I then laid her down on the sofa, pointed out her exposed breast, then took off her dress and we had raunchy sex, with my attempts to keep quiet but knowing that she would make noises of sex despite her attempts to conceal. She later had some explanation about the exposed breast, etc. I let it go and reminded her that I will be supportive of a hotwife situation but not a cheating one.

- A month or two later, I was to go on a ski trip and she did a girls' dinner plus Mr. B. I deliberately delayed my departure until later that night, in order to observe the end of the dinner party. SW courteously invited me to join for pre-dinner drinks, and I did join to watch the energy. She began giving me the cold shoulder and encouragement to get on my way to the long drive, etc. and I did depart their company but did not leave until 1:30 a.m. after watching all the girls go home, and she and Mr. B closing down the restaurant/bar and walking out together to his car, and they disappeared for 45 minutes. She made it home safe and alone at 1:30 a.m. and I then drove up to the mountains.

- Beginning in May 2020, deep into the pandemic, SW and I started having monthly social events (parties) at our under-construction house. Small group, the walls and roof were open to the sky and elements, and it was like a warehouse. Mr. B was invited to these by SW. Music, dancing, social distancing, tequila, wine, etc. In July one of the girls took it on herself to instruct SW in the art of the chair dance. SW grabbed Mr. B as her test subject and went thorough the instruction, smiling at me the whole time. Afterward, she said it was performance for me. In the early August party, we had installed a dancing pole and SW got some prior instruction and at the party she did a pole dance for the group (as did a couple of other of the wives/girlfriends). Again, did it for me in her words.

- In late August of 2020 I went camping on a long weekend with my kids, about 400 miles away. She planned another girls' event, this time at our house, and this time inviting Mr. B without telling me. He didn't know I wasn't supposed to know, so he dropped the info on me during normal conversation and I didn't miss a beat, and told him to enjoy and that SW is her own person and can invite whomever she likes. At that time there was serious construction going on at our house (this is why we had this extra apartment not far away) and SW had asked me to put up a security camera. The security camera was there for many months prior and I now know that SW had forgotten about it.

- When I returned and viewed the security camera footage, it showed the three other girls arriving and then Mr. B. The drank wine, played music, went into the master bedroom to try on clothes (at one point inviting Mr. B in for his opinion on what looks good and not); she later told me that they were down to bra and panties but that it was no big deal as they all regarded him as SW's trusted friend whom SF (me) seemed also to trust. As the night grew later, each of the girls went home and disappeared from the footage. By midnight Mr. B and SW were alone, drinking wine, listening to music, and sitting together on the love seat. SW did a bit of a pole dance for him, shook her booty, and spoke loud enough that over the music I could hear "do you like this?" etc. After about 45 minutes of their being alone, he took her by the hand and led her into the master bedroom (off camera) and the door shut. By the way, Mr. B is tall (6'8"), with dark hair and complexion,

- I held this secret for some time, waiting for her surprise for me that she had finally embraced becoming a hotwife and had to do it "her way" etc. But when she did not say anything for some time, I finally asked her about it and her response was entirely consistent with someone hiding an affair (e.g. trying to find out what I know before responding, to manage damage control, etc.). I didn't tell her about the camera footage but let her draw her own conclusion which was that my info came from Mr. B.

- We ultimately had the hard conversation that if it turns out she does desire to be with another man (which she had disclaimed for so many years) then it must be in a hotwife context or it's just cheating and lies, which will of course lead to the ending of our marriage.

- She remains steadfast (even today) that nothing happened with him that night, even after I showed her the video, etc.

- But she did agree to try out a hotwife experience. She identified a man (Mr. S) whom she'd known in the past, and whom I'd met in passing some years prior, and pursued him over the next couple of months with my assistance and coaching in the background. He is from where she grew up, two time zones away. He is tall (6'6) and dark (born in a country in North Africa, but not black). After some initial stumbling on their first in-person meeting in late September of 2020, they got together in October and she had her first hotwife encounter. They saw each other again a couple of times in November 2020 (over the Thanksgiving long weekend) and she even seduced a prior boyfriend (Mr. M) during that long weekend. Was fully in hotwife mode.

- She had some fairly strong NRE with Mr. S that showed itself in late December. They planned to get together again in late January 2021 for their mutual birthdays; he was going to travel to her this time. But because of distance and the pandemic and stuff on his side that SW can only guess about, he did not follow through and SW was pissed. They went back and forth to try and get back on the same page but it never happened. By the summer of 2021 she was over it with him.

- Since early 2021 we have been speculating if she might get together with her private personal trainer (Mr. G), a muscular and extremely handsome (according to SW) black man, or someone else. He is not tall.

- In June 2021 we attended a friend's very-upscale birthday party (120 people) on a hot summer night; she wore a skimpy white dress and an almost-not-there thong and at the end of the party after dancing and being risque/fun, she jumped in the pool and her dress became more transparent, etc. She came out of the pool and immediately chased down the birthday boy to get him into the pool with her; he at the last second saved himself and she went back in for another little swim. Again, according to her, did it for me. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart (and also from somewhere else).

- More recently, her flirtations have been toward tall, handsome and younger black guys.

And this brings us to present day with this Mr. J whom she apparently met last Wednesday (a week ago) and she does not know I know about him. Although in my posts from the past few days you will see that I kind of let her know I have an awareness at some level.

There are also some really yummy elements accompanying our story over in the Hotties section.

[slenderfish]

First, I want to apologize for jumping on the "she's cheating" bandwagon. Instead, I should have pointed out that all of SW's behaviors, hiding her phone, lack of affection, not letting you see her nude, and other behaviors are right out of the cheater's handbook. It doesn't definitively point to cheating but I'm sure you are concerned given her past indiscretions before marriage and more recently with Mr. B.

Yes concerned but I also recall how it went when I confronted her about Mr. B. She took it in and then launched into the Hotwife lifestyle with gusto.

The lawyer sounds like he could be the perfect monkey branch for her as he has all the properties that you've indicated she likes: tall, successful, powerful position.

Fully agree.

I hope your marriage survives if that is the case. Have you thought of what you would do if she is indeed having an affair and hiding it?

As above, I suppose I'll confront her and we will again be at a crossroads. I do believe we will stay married in any case. What it will look like after that is speculation.

[afagehi7]

Wow, good recap fish. I forgot about the exposed breast thing. By exposed, what do you mean and what was her excuse?

Personally, I don't think she'll monkey branch to Mr J. Do a black guy... Maybe, leave her husband for one, doubtful.

[slenderfish]

Wow, good recap fish. I forgot about the exposed breast thing. By exposed, what do you mean and what was her excuse?

Personally, I don't think she'll monkey branch to Mr J. Do a black guy... Maybe, leave her husband for one, doubtful.

She was wearing a top that was sheer in some places, kind of a peek-a-boo window to subtly show a slight bit of cleavage. When she came out of the room all flustered, her top was shifted to the side a bit such that the sheer area was positioned in front of her breast, lower than it would normally be, which is above the bra line, and off center at the side, in front of the breast. But her breast was not in her bra; instead, it was out and above her bra. Fully on display.

Her excuse, or story, (or explanation as she puts it) was that they were up in the TV room level and it was quite late, and they were making small talk while waiting for me to arrive. When I did not arrive right away she said they were a bit uncomfortable there (she implied discomfort in the awkwardness of waiting but I now believe it was that he is so tall) and so she went ahead and turned off the lights upstairs and showed him the bedroom at the middle level. Besides, she had to use the toilet for a quick pee. He laid down on the bed and she sat at the foot of the bed. They were talking and the subject moved to breast size, implants, etc. and she was describing to him her procedure and, apparently without thinking, put her hands under her shirt and freed the breast from its home in the bra cup while describing to him her procedure. Then she did not realize that it remained there until I made her aware.

She said that he fell asleep and she was just there, kind of talking to herself but pretending to talk to him, when I arrived. That she popped out of the room in a flurry so as to avoid my awakening him. That her top was apparently still in the awkward position without her being aware. That she is now so completely embarrassed because perhaps Mr. B saw her naked breast without her knowing, and unfortunately he didn't say anything to bring it to her attention.

[solstice]

Your relationship is like a plot from a movie, discussing it later I would likely say I enjoyed it but found the story line unlikely. this is not saying your account sound unbelievable, more that your wife has an agenda that is unfathomable, she is not a great liar and she runs the risk of really pissing you off. but then she is far from dull.

[superb101]

thats a really flimsy story!

[Boomhauer]

Thanks for the recap.

I wonder if the reason why she's lying about Mr B is that she's dug in too deep with the lie and will never admit to anything. I know I've dug in like that once or twice.

[afagehi7]

Wow, good recap fish. I forgot about the exposed breast thing. By exposed, what do you mean and what was her excuse?

Personally, I don't think she'll monkey branch to Mr J. Do a black guy... Maybe, leave her husband for one, doubtful.

She was wearing a top that was sheer in some places, kind of a peek-a-boo window to subtly show a slight bit of cleavage. When she came out of the room all flustered, her top was shifted to the side a bit such that the sheer area was positioned in front of her breast, lower than it would normally be, which is above the bra line, and off center at the side, in front of the breast. But her breast was not in her bra; instead, it was out and above her bra. Fully on display.

Her excuse, or story, (or explanation as she puts it) was that they were up in the TV room level and it was quite late, and they were making small talk while waiting for me to arrive. When I did not arrive right away she said they were a bit uncomfortable there (she implied discomfort in the awkwardness of waiting but I now believe it was that he is so tall) and so she went ahead and turned off the lights upstairs and showed him the bedroom at the middle level. Besides, she had to use the toilet for a quick pee. He laid down on the bed and she sat at the foot of the bed. They were talking and the subject moved to breast size, implants, etc. and she was describing to him her procedure and, apparently without thinking, put her hands under her shirt and freed the breast from its home in the bra cup while describing to him her procedure. Then she did not realize that it remained there until I made her aware.

She said that he fell asleep and she was just there, kind of talking to herself but pretending to talk to him, when I arrived. That she popped out of the room in a flurry so as to avoid my awakening him. That her top was apparently still in the awkward position without her being aware. That she is now so completely embarrassed because perhaps Mr. B saw her naked breast without her knowing, and unfortunately he didn't say anything to bring it to her attention.

What red blooded straight male would fall asleep with a hottie on the bed discussing her boobs while she's feeling them up? Unless he was stupid drunk and passed out but I don't think it's his style.

Anyway, it is what it was... No sense in rehashing the past when we're all pretty sure what happened...it happens so you won't be the first nor last guy who wonders...

Anyway, keep on observing and see what she does now. Since your birthday is so far away, I think you're correct in planning a conversation. If she decides to not be a hotwife, then I'd stop pushing her or even discussing the favtasies in bed or at all. Maybe some day you can get back to sexy pillow talk but there needs to be a cooling down period until other issues are resolved.

Personally, I'd let her go for a few weeks knowing that there's a strong probability that after the talk that's the end of such adventures. Enjoy the last bit whilst you can.

You're doing a much better job managing this process than I did so obviously take what I say with a grain of salt.

[slenderfish]

Your relationship is like a plot from a movie, discussing it later I would likely say I enjoyed it but found the story line unlikely. this is not saying your account sound unbelievable, more that your wife has an agenda that is unfathomable, she is not a great liar and she runs the risk of really pissing you off. but then she is far from dull.

I've always maintained that she is not strong in the logical and strategic matters, more driven by emotional elements. This is consistent.

[slenderfish]

Thanks for the recap.

I wonder if the reason why she's lying about Mr B is that she's dug in too deep with the lie and will never admit to anything. I know I've dug in like that once or twice.

This is my assumption. Once she saw the clear light, what I already knew, is that he's a dog and loves to get into women's pants. He moved his attention to someone else right after the overnight at our house. SW hid it pretty well, her disappointment with him, but the energy that was there prior to all this was gone in an instant and she pretty much flushed him from her psyche. I deliberately pursued the business and friendship with him in order to see her body language, etc. but stopped once we all had plans to go out to a fancy and unusually expensive restaurant. SW cancelled at the last minute and left me to take four others out to this dinner, with me as the fifth wheel, and to pay for it all. I guess she got me with that one!

[slenderfish]

thats a really flimsy story!

Yes, it reminds me of the old "don't believe your eyes, believe my outlandish story instead because you love me" mumbo jumbo.

[R_H_NC]

thats a really flimsy story!

Yes, it reminds me of the old "don't believe your eyes, believe my outlandish story instead because you love me" mumbo jumbo.

In situations like this I am always reminded of the scene in Stalag 17 when Triz Trzcinski gets a letter from his wife at home.

"Triz' Trzcinski : [after reading letter from home] I believe it. My wife says, "Darling, you won't believe it, but I found the most adorable baby on our doorstep and I've decided to keep it for our very own. Now you won't believe it, but it's got exactly my eyes and nose." Why does she keep saying I won't believe it? I believe it! I believe it."

[superb101]

Curious to know if SW has as much energy about her workouts with her trainer as she showed a few weeks ago