Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Lookingforadventure]

I’ve noticed that a considerable number of HWs will gravitate mostly or exclusively toward black men within a few months to a year of becoming a HW. For those of you who have had it go this way, what do you think was the reason? Were you surprised to discover you had such a strong preference for black guys?

I don't go for Black guys, but I don't turn them down either. It really depends on the person not their skin color. In my experience it is usually the husband pushing it not the wife. But I do have friends that exclusively go for one or the other.

This is true for me too. I am looking for someone that I connect well with intellectually and sexually. Race and ethnicity are not criteria I think about.

[Fox]

My wife is in the middle of this sort of decision now. We’ve been doing this for a little over a year and a half. She has one white guy she has a great connection with but it hasn’t gone past a meet and greet where the kissed a lot. However, she has stated multiple times, especially recently, that she really has a definite preference for black guys. She has its because she already has a white guy the fucks her really well cuz we’ve been together almost 28 years and I know what makes her tick. The taboo of a black guy, the whole BBC thing and the contrast in their skin color when she’s with a black guy just do it for her. I have to admit, I love seeing her with any other man but a black man really does amp up how hot it is for me as well.

[Farmgirl]

My wife is in the middle of this sort of decision now. We’ve been doing this for a little over a year and a half. She has one white guy she has a great connection with but it hasn’t gone past a meet and greet where the kissed a lot. However, she has stated multiple times, especially recently, that she really has a definite preference for black guys. She has its because she already has a white guy the fucks her really well cuz we’ve been together almost 28 years and I know what makes her tick. The taboo of a black guy, the whole BBC thing and the contrast in their skin color when she’s with a black guy just do it for her. I have to admit, I love seeing her with any other man but a black man really does amp up how hot it is for me as well.

I didn't see a question in there . This forum is only for the asking of questions, and receiving advice from VHWs, not for comments from those without a bright Blue name.

[Fox]

My wife is in the middle of this sort of decision now. We’ve been doing this for a little over a year and a half. She has one white guy she has a great connection with but it hasn’t gone past a meet and greet where the kissed a lot. However, she has stated multiple times, especially recently, that she really has a definite preference for black guys. She has its because she already has a white guy the fucks her really well cuz we’ve been together almost 28 years and I know what makes her tick. The taboo of a black guy, the whole BBC thing and the contrast in their skin color when she’s with a black guy just do it for her. I have to admit, I love seeing her with any other man but a black man really does amp up how hot it is for me as well.

I didn't see a question in there . This forum is only for the asking of questions, and receiving advice from VHWs, not for comments from those without a bright Blue name.

Sorry. I saw the response and my wife and I had just been discussing this very thing. I forgot for a moment that only VHW’s are supposed to respond.

[Farmgirl]

I was wondering if the women would be willing to share how they met their Stag? (I know their are a variety of relationships, I'm specifically asking the women who are involved in stag/vixen dynamic) Was it through a specific site?

A Stag is a husband of a Hotwife that plays himself. A Hotwife husband doesn't normally play. My husband has played (Stag) in the past but doesn't (Hotwife Husband) now.
We met as many couples do.
Now, if you're asking about a FB, FWB, lover, boyfriend, etc., there are many different ways on meeting one from organically in the wild, to dating or hookup sites.
If I didn't cover your question, let me know .

[Farmgirl]

Ah okay, I guess I am looking for a hotwife husband with the terminology used here (to clarify from stag, but open to either I guess in the beginning). So I'm guessing from what you wrote that you didn't meet in any specific way that is worth mentioing i.e. "as many couples do"...I'm just curious how people met someone with this specific kind of interest. Thank you for your answer!

Oh, I didn't meet him for that specific interest, I just figured out early on that he had that interest. If you're looking to marry a guy that is Hotwife husband material, I would be upfront about it early on to weed out ones not interested.

[Sexilexi]

I’ve noticed that a considerable number of HWs will gravitate mostly or exclusively toward black men within a few months to a year of becoming a HW. For those of you who have had it go this way, what do you think was the reason? Were you surprised to discover you had such a strong preference for black guys?

Every couple’s dynamic is different. Everyone’s preferences are unique to them as well.

I’ll just be completely honest, In our five years of this life, the reason we have gravitated towards black men, is for the simple reason that for some reason black men have been the nicest and easiest to play with.

I’m a qos by choice, no one makes me or forces me to only sleep with black men. I’m not a size queen either. I’m not racist either. (In my mind skin is skin and it’s beautiful how unique everyone is- we all have the same beating heart and lungs to breathe with!)

Now, if a cool story presents itself and the guy is not black, then I’ll play. But mostly we meet up with black men because our experiences have led us there due to the chillness most black men offer.

Again disclaimer - we have had some poor experiences with all skin color… just sayin.

And of course, ultimately - we seek partners that are respectful and share a good sexual chemistry with me. That’s most important!

-Lexi

[jane]

i'll repeat most of what lexi said. just had the easiest experience's with black men, and doesn't hurt that they are different than my husband for variety

[Allinfun]

This is a very long thread and this question has probably been asked and answered several times, but I'm wondering what you get out of being a hotwife? What would be the top maybe 3 things you would list, in order? Many people on this site talk about how this brought them closer as a couple, but I'm really interested in just your benefits.

[Farmgirl]

This is a very long thread and this question has probably been asked and answered several times, but I'm wondering what you get out of being a hotwife? What would be the top maybe 3 things you would list, in order? Many people on this site talk about how this brought them closer as a couple, but I'm really interested in just your benefits.

For me, things like this don't exist on a line, so there is not a top 3 or a real order. They exist circularly, one following the other with ever-changing positions.
Some of the things in no order:
Freedom. I get to have my cake and eat it too. I love that I can be me. I am loved for being me.
Though these things, and more, apply to me, they cause me to love my husband even more! There is no way to really separate all of this from my marriage, it is part and parcel of who I am and who we are.

[JayBob]

What was your initial reaction when your spouse brought up the idea of you being a hotwife?

[Farmgirl]

What was your initial reaction when your spouse brought up the idea of you being a hotwife?

Hopefully, others will chime in, my situation probably wasn't the norm . My boyfriend (later my husband) had for a long time given hints and talked about girlfriend/wife sharing. I knew about him and his aunt, etc.. So, I already knew he was bent this way, but he had trouble actually admitting he wanted it for real.
For me, it had become a matter of needing to hear him say it out loud, away from sex. Once he could do that, I was ready. Still, it took until we were married for 19 years, and we had been a couple for four years before getting married. I had plenty of time to think about and process what I wanted while waiting for him to own it.
For many couples, it comes as a shock for the wife, but it wasn't for me. Our communication wasn't great, but we could talk about sex.

[Swe_male]

Me and my wife (to be) are still wannabes. I have spoken out loud that her being a hotwife is a big turn on for me and she is comfortable with that, at least what she said. Why I ask here is because I want a like a second opinion on her answers. She says that she gets turned on of the taught but she doesn't take any further steps to make this happen by herself. She is a bit submissive and like to please and the last time we were talking about this, she said that I should set something up and she would be a good girl. I don't want her doing anything she don't want by her self and she hasn't told me yet that she wants this, just that she would do it for me. I don't want her to do it for me, I want her to to it for her self!

She knows that I really like when she is having a good time, she knows that she has a hall pass if something somehow happens. She also know that this is a big turn on for me, but still, she doesn't take any steps forward. We do dirty talk a lot and she frequently talk to me like this is going to happen but in the reality she doesn't even make the smallest step forward. My question is, do you think she wants it or not. She told me one time that I will se her getting fucked at least one time before I dies.. I'm in my 40s and hopefully I will live at least 40 years more.

[Farmgirl]

Me and my wife (to be) are still wannabes. I have spoken out loud that her being a hotwife is a big turn on for me and she is comfortable with that, at least what she said. Why I ask here is because I want a like a second opinion on her answers. She says that she gets turned on of the taught but she doesn't take any further steps to make this happen by herself. She is a bit submissive and like to please and the last time we were talking about this, she said that I should set something up and she would be a good girl. I don't want her doing anything she don't want by her self and she hasn't told me yet that she wants this, just that she would do it for me. I don't want her to do it for me, I want her to to it for her self!

She knows that I really like when she is having a good time, she knows that she has a hall pass if something somehow happens. She also know that this is a big turn on for me, but still, she doesn't take any steps forward. We do dirty talk a lot and she frequently talk to me like this is going to happen but in the reality she doesn't even make the smallest step forward. My question is, do you think she wants it or not. She told me one time that I will se her getting fucked at least one time before I dies.. I'm in my 40s and hopefully I will live at least 40 years more.

Your answer lies in the line I highlighted. Going on your words, she is submissive, and she told you to set things up and she would be a good girl. I don't know what more she could have told you.

I know men can be dense at times , and that many also suffer from reading comprehension .

[Swe_male]

I don't know if I am supposed to answer again that but point taken, thanks! Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else!

[Sexilexi]

What was your initial reaction when your spouse brought up the idea of you being a hotwife?

My husband slowly brought it up to me but never actually told me he wanted to do it. So,

My initial outside reaction was “no I would never do that” but on the inside I was like “sheesh that’s flippin hot”. But I wasn’t sure if he wanted to or not so I stayed quiet.

Then when he finally told me his secret kink - that he truly wanted to do it, I was hesitant at first, but within a week was like “let’s do it!”!!! Lol

I was thankful he finally let me know his desires and now nothing is held back as far as “secrets”. It takes guts for a man to admit his inner deep kink secrets to his partner. I was proud of him!

For the record - I was mostly hesitant because, as a believer in God, I wasn’t sure how this life would be acceptable. Long story short - d_lited and I keep nothing from eachother - so there’s no “sin” being committed within our marriage.

-Lexi

[2inUPMichigan]

I just finished deleting all the recent off topic posts that were comments on other people's questions and the responses.

Reminder:

This is a unique thread and not a regular discussion thread. This is an advice column where you can ask a question and have the opportunity for a woman (a VHW) give you an answer.

Anything other than a question that is answered by a VHW can be deleted or edited with no warning.

[tempus_fugit36]

Only women/girls to answer to this question please…

QUESTiON: Why a hotgirl or hotwife normaly enjoys they respective men to be a cuckold while at the same time many of them doesn’t accept their cuckold husbands or boyfriends to have sex with other girls/women?

I am aware of that there are different women behaviors but I would appreciate to receive some comments mainly from those hotwives who have a definitive NO approach to find their beta men having sex with another girl.

Thank you.

[Farmgirl]

Only women/girls to answer to this question please…

QUESTiON: Why a hotgirl or hotwife normaly enjoys they respective men to be a cuckold while at the same time many of them doesn’t accept their cuckold husbands or boyfriends to have sex with other girls/women?

I am aware of that there are different women behaviors but I would appreciate to receive some comments mainly from those hotwives who have a definitive NO approach to find their beta men having sex with another girl.

Thank you.

Are you only wanting to hear from Hotwives that have what you call "beta" husbands?

[Lookingforadventure]

Only women/girls to answer to this question please…

QUESTiON: Why a hotgirl or hotwife normaly enjoys they respective men to be a cuckold while at the same time many of them doesn’t accept their cuckold husbands or boyfriends to have sex with other girls/women?

I am aware of that there are different women behaviors but I would appreciate to receive some comments mainly from those hotwives who have a definitive NO approach to find their beta men having sex with another girl.

Thank you.

My husband gets pleasure out of me having sex with other men. I don't have the same sexual kink. I have seen him have sex with other women. I have been supportive and don't necessarily feel jealous, but it isn't a turn on for me. I enjoy that he is enjoying himself, but I don't need details and it isn't about my pleasure. I don't know if that makes sense.

For now, we've decided to focus on the hot wife lifestyle (me with other partners, him playing an active role in that but not pursuing other women). It gives us both pleasure. If he wants to revisit playing with other women, I'm happy to support him in that.

[tempus_fugit36]

Only women/girls to answer to this question please…

QUESTiON: Why a hotgirl or hotwife normaly enjoys they respective men to be a cuckold while at the same time many of them doesn’t accept their cuckold husbands or boyfriends to have sex with other girls/women?

I am aware of that there are different women behaviors but I would appreciate to receive some comments mainly from those hotwives who have a definitive NO approach to find their beta men having sex with another girl.

Thank you.

Are you only wanting to hear from Hotwives that have what you call "beta" husbands?

Yes, please feel free to comment…this is an open question and have different aspects to be considered…

[2inUPMichigan]

Only women/girls to answer to this question please…

QUESTiON: Why a hotgirl or hotwife normaly enjoys they respective men to be a cuckold while at the same time many of them doesn’t accept their cuckold husbands or boyfriends to have sex with other girls/women?

I am aware of that there are different women behaviors but I would appreciate to receive some comments mainly from those hotwives who have a definitive NO approach to find their beta men having sex with another girl.

Thank you.

Quite simply, I am not a swinger I am a hotwife. Swingers play together as a couple and sometimes separately.
Some of the members here are swingers and they also participate in hotwifing/cuckolding.

However this site is primarily about hotwifing and cuckolding not swinging.
I didn't come to this site as a swinger and have no interest or intention on being one. The agreement between my husband and I does not include him playing with anyone else.

Asking a hotwife why she doesn't accept her husband playing is like asking a swinger why her husband isn't restricted from playing.

[Farmgirl]

Are you only wanting to hear from Hotwives that have what you call "beta" husbands?

Yes, please feel free to comment…this is an open question and have different aspects to be considered…

Well, I don't have a "beta" husband, so I wanted to see where you were headed with this. I don't put much stock in the whole beta thing, it's just too much fantasy BS .

We are not a swinging couple or an open marriage couple. We are a Hotwife couple, and as such, your question doesn't really fit. If we both played, we would be swingers or have an open marriage.
There are many ways that couples on OHW style themselves, but the wife having the freedom to play while the husband does not, is what distinguishes the style as Hotwife.
A Hotwife is a married woman that is free to have sex with men other than her husband, all with the loving support of her husband. It doesn't entail the husband having sex with other women.
That is why your question doesn't fit.

[tempus_fugit36]

Are you only wanting to hear from Hotwives that have what you call "beta" husbands?

Yes, please feel free to comment…this is an open question and have different aspects to be considered…

Well, I don't have a "beta" husband, so I wanted to see where you were headed with this. I don't put much stock in the whole beta thing, it's just too much fantasy BS .

We are not a swinging couple or an open marriage couple. We are a Hotwife couple, and as such, your question doesn't really fit. If we both played, we would be swingers or have an open marriage.
There are many ways that couples on OHW style themselves, but the wife having the freedom to play while the husband does not, is what distinguishes the style as Hotwife.
A Hotwife is a married woman that is free to have sex with men other than her husband, all with the loving support of her husband. It doesn't entail the husband having sex with other women.
That is why your question doesn't fit.

Thank you and you are entirely right. In fact my question aimed in trying to understand in a very generic level, why some of women are very fine in having (and willing to have their husbands to allowing them) to have sexual affairs with other men, while they have a NO approach when their husbands suggest to fulfill their sexual needs with other women. In this scenario the husbands aren’t allowed to have sex with their wives NOR even with other girls.
I know the term hotwife doesn’t fit completely here, possibly it doesn’t fit perfectly anywhere, perhaps the closest we get is cuckolding.

[tempus_fugit36]

Only women/girls to answer to this question please…

QUESTiON: Why a hotgirl or hotwife normaly enjoys they respective men to be a cuckold while at the same time many of them doesn’t accept their cuckold husbands or boyfriends to have sex with other girls/women?

I am aware of that there are different women behaviors but I would appreciate to receive some comments mainly from those hotwives who have a definitive NO approach to find their beta men having sex with another girl.

Thank you.

Quite simply, I am not a swinger I am a hotwife. Swingers play together as a couple and sometimes separately.
Some of the members here are swingers and they also participate in hotwifing/cuckolding.

However this site is primarily about hotwifing and cuckolding not swinging.
I didn't come to this site as a swinger and have no interest or intention on being one. The agreement between my husband and I does not include him playing with anyone else.

Asking a hotwife why she doesn't accept her husband playing is like asking a swinger why her husband isn't restricted from playing.

Thank you, your answered my question and helped me to understand my relation type behavior. I would guess it fits to my wife being a hotwife because it is okay for her to have her sexual affairs while I am not allowed to look for sexual satisfaction with other women nor even with my own wife (I have to satisfy myself by watching). Along our dating and marriage there wasn’t the idea of landing in this life style, everything came up after I got into ED issue for quite a while and thought much and agreed that my wife should get her needs satisfied outside our relation. I thought however that after I was cured from ED things would return to normal husband-wife behavior again, but i was so wrong and I should have known that there is no return. I don’t regret of course, as long as she is happy, I am happy too.