Just a Neighbor.

[NeighborGuy]

I’m done work early I had a bunch of Monday calls. I was going to go through an answer some post but honestly some of them confuse me. I guess it was too long of a long post.

[NeighborGuy]

I appreciate this post. Unfortunately there are those who think they are forecasters and can see into the future. You seem like a gentleman. Keep being a gentleman no matter the outcome.

Thank you I’ll do my best. She’s really nice and seems to enjoy doing something and having fun.

[NeighborGuy]

Treat her as you've treated her. She sounds wonderful. There seems to be the beginnings of a wonderful relationship. Take it as it comes.

It would be nice to have a friends with benefits thing. She’s definitely hot and I’m happy with everything so far. It is strange to take her out though with her sort of ex husband living there even though she said they haven’t loved each other for years and she’s OK to meet guys.

[NeighborGuy]

Did the kiss involve tongues?

Not going to lie, there was a little movement going on between them
It was in her driveway and I wish it was a little longer but it was really nice!

[NeighborGuy]

Glad you had a great night! Did you set another date?

No I didn’t. When she got out of the car she said she would text or call if that’s OK. I said yes, I look forward to it and that was pretty much it.

[NeighborGuy]

What an update!
The ice has finally been broken!
There is no such thing as a post that is too long. Especially in this case when you are describing the interactions between you and your neighbor.
It sounds like you have now been given the green light to pursue a more intimate relationship with her.
Perhaps next step is to ask her over for a glass of wine, perhaps some nibbles, one night, or afternoon, and let nature take its course.
Well done my friend.
Very well done.

Thank you mundyman. That is exactly what I’m hoping for but been having cold feet and unsure what was going on. But now that I’ve got clarification when we were out Saturday night I think we’re going to see each other a little more.

[NeighborGuy]

This is amazing. It looks like she doesn't just want sex or you'd have already been there.
Have you had any additional interaction with hubby?
Thanks for sharing.
Please keep us posted.

Oh i’m sure she wants sex as do I but I think she’s happy to be doing something with me and really seems to digs me.

As far as the husband no, it just seems like he stays out of the picture and does his work and sports stuff. Even when I was at the pool party there did seem like a separation between them that was weird. Now it makes sense that they’re both not in love with each other anymore and everything I mentioned in the post.

[NeighborGuy]

Maybe give her a key and tell her she has a home in both places.

This isn't a hotwife scenario. Hubby isn't a cuckold. All parties need to be respectful. Neighborguy has acted like a true gentleman and in doing so may land a wonderful woman.

If it comes down to her getting a key I’m game. That would be wonderful to be honest.

And yeah definitely not a hotwife, swinger or cuckold scenario because he doesn't want involvement or to get in the way of her dating again. She seems to be respectful by going out and not flaunting around him.

[NeighborGuy]

Well - once again the truth can be a number of things! Sounds as if a definite Friends with Benefits program, and the fact she is married is what makes it hot for us on this forum!

Great recitation and well although you are a "fancy drink guy" please keep posting! Be interesting to read how the first "encounter" goes!

Hey don’t hate because I like fancy drinks!

Well not married, not separated legally yet and whatever the trial separation is. But I guess inevitably there will be a divorce finalized at some point.

[NeighborGuy]

also explains why she doesn’t wear a ring!

And I can’t believe it took me that long to noticed that. But now it makes sense!

[NeighborGuy]

Anyone know what “trial separated” is?

You can call it testing if life is better apart, just like you move in together before you get engaged.

So now this also makes sense since she takes care of the rentals and they probably purchased the home next to me as an investment also. I do see his/family business probably being involved with a divorce, so that’s smart on his part doing this and not divorcing.

Also really nice on her part to stay around and take care of things and not ditch him with his problems when they’re not in love anymore. That says a lot about her right there.

[NeighborGuy]

THis story reminds me of a friend who also lost his sex life due to illness, he just told his wife that she should find a lover.
Just because his sex life is over, her sex life is still working.
So why should she suffer with him, that would just make their mariage worse.

I never understood this but do have friends that were married and now divorced. They just weren’t in love anymore and moved on. But the funny thing is the ex husband (my friend) is now friends with both of them like nothing ever happened.

[NeighborGuy]

Well that’s about all I can handle and answer. I need to go get some dinner. If I missed your post I would’ve gave it a or a if that option was available on this forum

I’ll try to post an update if we make plans or whatever. I’m sure I’ll be in touch with her to do something because I can’t stop thinking about Saturday night and our kiss.

Thanks again for all your replies, have a great week!

[unclecuck]

NeighborGuy.

I am following your story and i like it.

however, I think that you also should consider that the talk about his ED, and trial separation is just for you to feel comfortable to approach her and take her outing. there is still possibility that he is a stag and in happy marriage.

Uncle

[TJJ]

Seems like it's on you now to make a move. She laid it out. Might as well ask her over and go further than a kiss.

[kaskap79]

If it was me in this situation, I would insist on talking to the neighbor husband, before going any further.

Imagine how life with the neighbor will be if it is only something the wife says and the husband does not agree.

You will most likely live next to them for many years, so better be sure that he knows about this before starting.

[wannabecUKold]

Glad you had a great night! Did you set another date?

No I didn’t. When she got out of the car she said she would text or call if that’s OK. I said yes, I look forward to it and that was pretty much it.

Hi NeighborGuy
Although she said that she would text or call (i.e. she would initiate), I'm sure the gallant knight would do the chasing of the fair lady.

PS we are immensely grateful to you for your posts, long and short.

[Chrislydi]

Thanks again for all your replies, have a great week!

You've been just about pitch perfect so far, exactly the right moves at the right pace, just keep trusting in your instincts as it seems you will intuitively know the next steps.

Chris

[harmankard]

Glad you had a great night! Did you set another date?

No I didn’t. When she got out of the car she said she would text or call if that’s OK. I said yes, I look forward to it and that was pretty much it.

Hi NeighborGuy
Although she said that she would text or call (i.e. she would initiate), I'm sure the gallant knight would do the chasing of the fair lady.

PS we are immensely grateful to you for your posts, long and short.

Funny, I was going to say give her some space. I think she needs to noodle this after her revelation to you. Of the same token, it’s 4th of July weekend so you should get something on her docket.

Long term people have made interesting points. It also begs the question, how long since your divorce? I can think of worse things then getting out of a marriage then having some hot 40 something who just wants sex and some beers. That should help you get back on your feet. If you’re looking to move on with your life she at the least seems like a great summer distraction.

And btw guys… just cuz he gets some flutters kissing her doesn’t mean he’s in love. Just means he’s excited to be with her. Sheesh… we’re not in high school.

Sean

[Chrislydi]

I must admit I only read the OPs posts or those he directly answered. I must have definitely missed the reference anyone made to them thinking he might be falling in love with his neighbour. Just seemed to be a guy who heavily fancied his flirtatious neighbour and when finding out why she was so flirtatious decided to see if the coast was clear, and if ok with her 'husband', she would be available for more.

Never seemed pushy or inappropriate but very careful of their relationship until certain it was ok. I never saw any of the posters he replied to mention that they thought he might love her?

Chris

[Pufferfish]

And btw guys… just cuz he gets some flutters kissing her doesn’t mean he’s in love. Just means he’s excited to be with her. Sheesh… we’re not in high school.

So hilariously true. While everyone here means well, the advice is all over the place sometimes. As with anywhere else on the internet, opinions and advice are going to vary from good to bad, with everywhere in between. From people who have a lot of experience to none at all. And that's all fine. The OP is doing a great job so far using his own judgement with maybe some bits of advice here and there thrown in. So I'm not too worried he's being lead astray too much.

You just keep on keeping on my man! At this point I don't think he needs any advice, it's just nice he's keeping us updated with how things are going. I don't know if she plans on leaving her husband anytime soon, if ever at all. And it's not like he's proposing to marry her yet even if she did. And none of that matters, and shouldn't matter for a long time. This is just a great situation for everyone involved. They're moving at a good, comfortable pace. And there's really not much to worry about right now. Just enjoy the ride.

I must admit I only read the OPs posts or those he directly answered. I must have definitely missed the reference anyone made to them thinking he might be falling in love with his neighbour. Just seemed to be a guy who heavily fancied his flirtatious neighbour and when finding out why she was so flirtatious decided to see if the coast was clear, and if ok with her 'husband', she would be available for more.

Never seemed pushy or inappropriate but very careful of their relationship until certain it was ok. I never saw any of the posters he replied to mention that they thought he might love her?

Chris

There was a couple posts that mentioned the possiblity and asked if he did, as well as one even suggesting to give a key to his house already so she can live at both places. People jump the shark a little sometimes and get a little carried away.

[Tryagain]

If it was me in this situation, I would insist on talking to the neighbor husband, before going any further.

Imagine how life with the neighbor will be if it is only something the wife says and the husband does not agree.

You will most likely live next to them for many years, so better be sure that he knows about this before starting.

That sounds like a difficult conversation to have with him. I mean acknowledging his ED and that he can't fuck his wife anymore. Geez...its too embarrassing for him.

[Pufferfish]

If it was me in this situation, I would insist on talking to the neighbor husband, before going any further.

Imagine how life with the neighbor will be if it is only something the wife says and the husband does not agree.

You will most likely live next to them for many years, so better be sure that he knows about this before starting.

That sounds like a difficult conversation to have with him. I mean acknowledging his ED and that he can't fuck his wife anymore. Geez...its too embarrassing for him.

Yeah, some people like to "make sure" that if one person in a marriage says they have a green light, to verify and make sure first before taking action. I can see where that COULD be a good idea if you're concerned about it, but I'd say it's a pretty safe assumption in this case and no verification necessary. I'd just let it be when it comes to the husband. Unless he comes out and asks something or brings it up.

[Jbjhamilton99]

All of the “now the deep part” tells me he doesn’t need to talk to the hubby. They are not in love anymore. And from other post Neighborguy made he’s unbothered it seems. I see them as friends together for the work and business stuff. I’m sure they both care about each other still but stayed together for the business/investments stuff as said.

When she told me those times he didn’t care what she did it was true. She went on to tell me they had grown apart from each other 3 years ago. He had colon cancer years back that was treated and It reappeared in his prostate that was treated and being monitored. His erectile dysfunction and lack of sex drive then contributed to the fizzling out. They trial separated but stayed together for reasons like friends, the family business, a dozen rentals she takes care of and her being from the west coast with no family here.

He’s encouraged her to meet a guy again but he doesn’t want to be involved or get in the way. But when they moved in and talked to me and I said I was single they were delighted and she said she wanted to flirt and know me. She try’s to be respectful when she goes out and he does his own thing like sports and work but does want to see her happy. She told me pre-Covid she had met a guy that was nice and dated a bunch but they didn’t work out with covid lockdown and him at risk in the house even though they have separate bedrooms. She met another guy post covid that turned out to be a jerk quickly and she doesn’t do dating sites.

If I were him I would flirt and be nice and reap the benefits of a woman that’s probably hungry for attention and good sex from a young chap like Neighborguy.

[slenderfish]

If it was me in this situation, I would insist on talking to the neighbor husband, before going any further.

Imagine how life with the neighbor will be if it is only something the wife says and the husband does not agree.

You will most likely live next to them for many years, so better be sure that he knows about this before starting.

Deep Water imdb.com/title/tt2180339/

It's a bit ridiculous to make reference to this movie but given your proximity it would be very appropriate to reduce unknown risk related to him with some kind of separate confirmation. But I also agree that it's not cool for any kind of broaching the subject of impotency.

When SW and I started down the hotwife path, she was very new and uncomfortable with it all. So she told her target Mr. S that she is in a "What happens in _____ stays in _____" arrangement with me. Kind of the same opening you are receiving. Basically, that she has a green light but it's really just for her. Mr. S didn't mind and accepted that on its face. Mr. B (knowing SW for many years and having previously been her boyfriend) pressed further and when SW told him the truth, he was flabbergasted and aghast and kind of self destructed. And would not believe that I was okay with it, even after they did have sex. He believes I will kick his ass if I ever see him. But I would shake his and and wink with a knowing smile.

In our case, SW only would play when she is two time zones away from where we live. So none of us had to concern ourselves with next door proximity.

Her explanation is perfect. From my eye of experience, if something is just too perfect, it bears checking out. A perfect situation is so wonderful, it's nice to know it's fully accurate.

There you go. People are variable, and that's just the way it is.