A virtual cuckold?

[Chrislydi]

I think she needs the psychiatrist not you

[newaussiecuck]

I think she needs the psychiatrist not you

Most certainly, but I think I would have a better chance of flying to the moon than to get her to go willingly.

At least I know that it's not just me. We had her family come visit over Xmas and she hardly saw them. I spent way more time with them than she did.

I also wonder if she's somehow been scammed by someone using psychological techniques to hook her.

You're right though, I do think help is needed. I've done about all that I can on my own.

[Chrislydi]

I think she needs the psychiatrist not you

Most certainly, but I think I would have a better chance of flying to the moon than to get her to go willingly.

At least I know that it's not just me. We had her family come visit over Xmas and she hardly saw them. I spent way more time with them than she did.

I also wonder if she's somehow been scammed by someone using psychological techniques to hook her.

You're right though, I do think help is needed. I've done about all that I can on my own.

My brother is a consultant and I could advise, but every country has different health care setups so it would be of little use. She really does seem to need some serious mental intervention whether it's voluntary or not. There's a limit on what you can do on your own if she won't even talk, maybe it's time to start looking at what compulsory options are available, especially if it's not just you that's noticed her behaviour.

[newaussiecuck]

I think she needs the psychiatrist not you

Most certainly, but I think I would have a better chance of flying to the moon than to get her to go willingly.

At least I know that it's not just me. We had her family come visit over Xmas and she hardly saw them. I spent way more time with them than she did.

I also wonder if she's somehow been scammed by someone using psychological techniques to hook her.

You're right though, I do think help is needed. I've done about all that I can on my own.

My brother is a consultant and I could advise, but every country has different health care setups so it would be of little use. She really does seem to need some serious mental intervention whether it's voluntary or not. There's a limit on what you can do on your own if she won't even talk, maybe it's time to start looking at what compulsory options are available, especially if it's not just you that's noticed her behaviour.

"She really does seem to need some serious mental intervention whether it's voluntary or not."

Hmmmmm, that sounds pretty scary. How worried should I be? Apart from the game (when she's away from it) she does seem pretty normal, but it's only when I start getting too close to a conversation around it that she starts getting weird.

I'm wondering if she's starting to lose the ability to be able to separate the two? Like maybe it gets weird when her online world is colliding with her real world.

[Chrislydi]

Most certainly, but I think I would have a better chance of flying to the moon than to get her to go willingly.

At least I know that it's not just me. We had her family come visit over Xmas and she hardly saw them. I spent way more time with them than she did.

I also wonder if she's somehow been scammed by someone using psychological techniques to hook her.

You're right though, I do think help is needed. I've done about all that I can on my own.

My brother is a consultant and I could advise, but every country has different health care setups so it would be of little use. She really does seem to need some serious mental intervention whether it's voluntary or not. There's a limit on what you can do on your own if she won't even talk, maybe it's time to start looking at what compulsory options are available, especially if it's not just you that's noticed her behaviour.

"She really does seem to need some serious mental intervention whether it's voluntary or not."

Hmmmmm, that sounds pretty scary. How worried should I be? Apart from the game (when she's away from it) she does seem pretty normal, but it's only when I start getting too close to a conversation around it that she starts getting weird.

I'm wondering if she's starting to lose the ability to be able to separate the two? Like maybe it gets weird when her online world is colliding with her real world.

It's like any fixation, it's not serious until it starts affecting your ability to interact and function normally in other areas of your life. It's almost analogous to an addiction, well it is one really, and once a 'habit' or mode of behaviour becomes too ingrained within someone's psyche it can become very difficult to alter.

I think her recognising she has a problem and needs help getting things back into perspective is the hardest part. The fact she won't even engage makes it almost impossible, and I can see why perhaps you're trying to see a psychologist to ask for advice. Not sure without her cooperation it will be easy to correct.

I know this is all nothing you don't know already but she has to recognise she has a problem.

[newaussiecuck]

I think once the Easter festivities are over I'll make another attempt to have a discussion and ask if she'll take a break to work on our relationship. If she won't then it'll be easier to make a case that she has a problem that we need to address.

The problem is we're being excluded from many of the fun things in life at the moment I'm not able to portray as compelling an alternative as I would like. She will likely ask what she will fill in her time with and I don't have a compelling answer, which is probably why she's started this in the first place. Especially once I go back to work I won't even be around as much to fill in her time.

Unfortunately she's chosen to spend as little time with me as possible while I'm available to spend lots of time with her. It is a massive wasted opportunity to be doing some fun things together and the window is closing. Even a lot of the projects she's had me do could have been done together.

[Chrislydi]

I think once the Easter festivities are over I'll make another attempt to have a discussion and ask if she'll take a break to work on our relationship. If she won't then it'll be easier to make a case that she has a problem that we need to address.

The problem is we're being excluded from many of the fun things in life at the moment I'm not able to portray as compelling an alternative as I would like. She will likely ask what she will fill in her time with and I don't have a compelling answer, which is probably why she's started this in the first place. Especially once I go back to work I won't even be around as much to fill in her time.

Unfortunately she's chosen to spend as little time with me as possible while I'm available to spend lots of time with her. It is a massive wasted opportunity to be doing some fun things together and the window is closing. Even a lot of the projects she's had me do could have been done together.

I suppose if you cut yourself off even when family are around it tells a tale, who would want to invite her to anywhere after getting the silent treatment when they come to visit? It's like the proverbial vicious circle, the more she acts this way, the more she'll repel people, the less invites elsewhere to do stuff and socialise, the more she retreats into her safe online world....wash and repeat..

She needs to break that downward spiral.

[newaussiecuck]

I think once the Easter festivities are over I'll make another attempt to have a discussion and ask if she'll take a break to work on our relationship. If she won't then it'll be easier to make a case that she has a problem that we need to address.

The problem is we're being excluded from many of the fun things in life at the moment I'm not able to portray as compelling an alternative as I would like. She will likely ask what she will fill in her time with and I don't have a compelling answer, which is probably why she's started this in the first place. Especially once I go back to work I won't even be around as much to fill in her time.

Unfortunately she's chosen to spend as little time with me as possible while I'm available to spend lots of time with her. It is a massive wasted opportunity to be doing some fun things together and the window is closing. Even a lot of the projects she's had me do could have been done together.

I suppose if you cut yourself off even when family are around it tells a tale, who would want to invite her to anywhere after getting the silent treatment when they come to visit? It's like the proverbial vicious circle, the more she acts this way, the more she'll repel people, the less invites elsewhere to do stuff and socialise, the more she retreats into her safe online world....wash and repeat..

She needs to break that downward spiral.

Yes, that's a big part of it. Actually thinking back she'd probably started cutting herself off from a lot of friends and family even well before the online thing started. It was pretty gradual and I didn't really even notice as she's always been very much the stay at home type. Unfortunately once the pandemic hit she had the perfect excuse to just stay home and she's pretty much settled into that routine ever since. The online relationship has really cemented that pattern and yes will be very difficult to break if it's at all possible without too much collateral damage. Given the FLR nature of our relationship it's hard for me to insist on what she should do with her time.

The being excluded part is due to the rules still in place here. Due to our status she's not even allowed to get a haircut, which probably also affects her willingness to engage in social situations. I've done the best I can with the scissors but my shaky hands probably haven't done the best job. Hopefully the rules might change in a few weeks, there's some talk of it.

Having said that, she has made a fair amount of improvement in the last several weeks since I started changing my approach. I probably got burned out and frustrated and down on myself by the slow progress, but I just need to be persistent and keep guiding her in the right direction as much as I can. Showing my emotions a bit (negative or positive emotions depending on how things are going and how she's acting and what she's doing) can get my point across even when we're unable to talk about it. I'm being careful not to overdo the negative ones though as I'm trying to rebuild our relationship as much as possible in order to be able to better have a conversation. Too much negative will undermine that. On the other hand, all positive and she'll think everything is fine and no need to change anything. A delicate balancing act for sure.

[Chrislydi]

I wish you all the best there are no easy options, but if you had started to see some progress then maybe continue along that road for now. I do understand about her hair and not looking her best, it's such a large part to my wife's psyche too, she hates having visitors if not A1.

[newaussiecuck]

So yesterday was Easter Sunday. Happy Easter everyone!

She saw in Easter online at her computer at midnight and saw it out again the next night at her computer at midnight. We did take the dog to the park together in the morning, which was great, but we used to do that several times a week before all this started. It's strange that the once normal is now a cherished experience.

Apart from briefly eating meals together and bumping into each other randomly throughout the day that was the only interaction we had. Even with the meals she got up and went back to her computer even while I was still eating. Easter Sunday and she left me by myself at the table during lunch and dinner to go back to her computer!

No Easter sex or any hanky panky. No massage requests or any cuddling in bed either, though we were dogsitting an extra dog (her idea) so that may have put a dampener on bedroom activities.

She didn't see her mum on Easter Sunday either, so it wasn't just me who suffers. I did see her mum though as I went over there to pick something up. My wife chose to stay home, spending time on the computer instead of seeing her mum.

[newaussiecuck]

Reading my last post again, I probably made things sound a bit worse than they are so I wanted to correct that.

The other random encounters in between included the odd hug and even a kiss or two, so there was some affection shown and no hostilities towards each other.

Also in regards to leaving the table, if I had asked her to stay she would have and in fact the 2nd time during the main meal as she was getting up she asked if I was OK here, and if it was OK if she went to the other room (using as an excuse the television, but I do know that was just an excuse). So I could have told her to stay, but I'm not in the habit of making people do things they don't want to do. I wouldn't have enjoyed her company knowing that she didn't want to be there. Also I have experience where I've asked her to do things that most people would normally want to do, but I got grief from her for it.

Also, it just occurred to me that she's been asking a bit lately if I'm OK, or asking me if I'm OK with different things from time to time, such as when she was leaving the table. I guess I need to start telling her that I'm not OK. I'm not used to doing that and usually just say that I'm fine so as to not cause a fuss even when I'm struggling with something.

I probably need to start finding a way to handle her giving her time and attention to someone else when I'm wanting it. I guess I'm not the only person on here struggling with this aspect. I need to let go of my expectations as I always come unstuck when I'm expecting something from her and don't get it, even more so when she's given it to someone else like her online friend instead.

[Chrislydi]

That's now even getting hard to read newaussiecuck, I wouldn't even pretend to know what to do or advise. I just hope those chinks of light are very real and not just illusory but much wanted fragments, there's always a danger of giving them far more significance than they deserve.

[newaussiecuck]

That's now even getting hard to read newaussiecuck, I wouldn't even pretend to know what to do or advise. I just hope those chinks of light are very real and not just illusory but much wanted fragments, there's always a danger of giving them far more significance than they deserve.

Yes it's certainly a tough one and I'm not surprised there isn't really much advice that can be given to someone so thoroughly stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've gone over every combination and permutation of every move I can think of and I keep coming back to the thought that any move realistically only increases the chance of an end to our relationship.

I've asked her a while back now (a year ago so maybe time to do it again) if she's happy with the way things are now and she has assured me that yes she is. She's made changes that she's happy with, to my detriment mind you, but it's a hard sell for me to argue to change things back to what she wasn't happy with previously, especially with the FLR component to our relationship. I think she's made a calculated assessment, partly through those long ago previous brief discussions and hints back and forth but also through some covert baby steps, that I would ultimately be able to handle the changes she's made. I may not like them, but I do think she's decided that I can handle them. I guess the fact that I'm still here nearly 1.5 years later means she's probably right in her assessment, I'm still not liking it mind you but handling it yes.

I don't think I've mentioned this before but there is a very strong role reversal component in play at the moment, especially heightened these last few weeks after I started listening to her and following her directions "listen and obey". Among other things she has me doing pretty much all of the cooking now. I recently bought a gift for her that she had been suggesting we get for a while, it was a cooking appliance and I was the one that had been resisting getting one. Well my gift didn't go down too well initially, but a few minutes after receiving the gift she stated "As long as you do all of the cooking in it then I'm happy".

One exception to my cooking was the cooking of a food item that's long been traditionally regarded as the man's domain, the steak. We were having a steak for dinner, and once she saw what I was making for dinner she pretty quickly grabbed the frying pan (I think it might even have been taken out of my hands as I pulled it out of the cupboard) and she declared that she would be cooking the steak and had me put together some of the other items we were having with it. Internally I was scratching my head for a minute, but I just went with it. The one item she chose to cook is the one item that traditionally the man of the house would cook, if he was cooking anything at all.

Realistically I don't think I have many viable options left but to go along with what she wants. I have been so conflicted and trying to find ways to fight against it or change things but she has me so thoroughly boxed in that my only real moves left are to either go with it, or to blow up the relationship and hope that we can somehow put the pieces back together afterwards.

In a surprise for me, I did find myself this morning pondering a chastity device and wondering if that would somehow help me find peace with our situation. I had requested one many years back (like 15 years ago) but the idea was shot down. She said she preferred to have free access to me and kept me on the honour system instead. I don't know why but the idea has resurfaced pretty strongly this morning. I've kept it to myself at least for now but I was surprised with how strongly I was feeling the urge to have her take this level of control. It makes me feel like maybe I'm turning some kind of a corner of acceptance.

[Chrislydi]

It's like the which comes first puzzle, and maybe the treatment you're suffering is driving you to try and accommodate it in ways that you're now familiar with. There's nothing wrong with the desire to wear a chastity device and as you say, it's not a new impulse, but is it more a mental response to her behaviour than any real need? Isn't it rather a side issue, although if it helps you cope there's no reason why you shouldn't. I'm no expert and could easily be wrong, it may help you cope mentally but it seems unlikely that it's any real solution to the problem.

[newaussiecuck]

I had written the previous post last night but only got to post it this morning. There was some further advancements after I wrote it.

When she came to bed she seemed in a pretty happy mood and a little playful. She had me scratch her legs directing where to scratch and how. Eventually I bent down and started kissing her butt and then one thing lead
to another and I ended up bringing her to orgasm with my hand. Again she was directing exactly where and how to touch her. After she had cum and recovered, she rolled over towards me, smiled said "goodnight" and kissed me on the lips. Then she had me lay on my back, she scooted over to lay pressed beside me, placed her hand on my chest and asked for my hand. It felt nice to hold her hand like that but I also realised that by doing so she could make sure that I wasn't going to be able to touch myself.

In the morning she put her leg over me and noticed that I was hard, I think she was checking. She then grabbed my hand and put it inside my pants so that I was cupping my own balls. She then guided me to shake that hand causing my balls and dick to move. She then placed her finger against the sensitive spot under the head and had me stimulate myself against her finger! I can't say this has been done before, certainly a first for me that's for sure. After I started getting reasonably close she told me that it was time for me to make us coffee.

It floored me that right after I had started thinking and fantasising about the chastity device, she chose to so overtly tease and deny me after I had made her cum. Talk about being on the same wavelength! This kind of connection used to happen all the time with us, seemingly knowing each others thoughts. We had really lost that but I was pretty happy to feel that again.

Actually I've been pretty much on cloud 9 all day. It's amazing how quickly my mood can turn around. She gave me exactly what I needed right when I needed it. It's hard to explain why, but I really needed to feel that intention from her. Not having sex or cumming can be very fucking hot, arousing and invoke a feeling of closeness in me if it's done with intention. Without that intention it feels like neglect and abandonment. I really needed to feel that intention from her, and it's done wonders for my mood. Sometimes not getting a hand job or sex can be better than getting it, and this was one of those times for me.

[newaussiecuck]

It's like the which comes first puzzle, and maybe the treatment you're suffering is driving you to try and accommodate it in ways that you're now familiar with. There's nothing wrong with the desire to wear a chastity device and as you say, it's not a new impulse, but is it more a mental response to her behaviour than any real need? Isn't it rather a side issue, although if it helps you cope there's no reason why you shouldn't. I'm no expert and could easily be wrong, it may help you cope mentally but it seems unlikely that it's any real solution to the problem.

I think the desire for the chastity device was more about feeling that intention from her. It's a conscious decision to put a lock on and then it's a conscious decision whether to unlock or not.

For example going for a month without any sexual contact feels like neglect and abandonment to me, especially when she's giving her time and attention to someone else. That same scenario with the inclusion of a chastity device would feel different to me, like it was a part of a fun game rather than neglect.

I've never worn a chastity device (I always wanted one) but I imagine that is how I would feel about it. I've heard people say it feels like their keyholders hand is constantly holding them. I think that would feel nice and reassuring in a way, especially during the times when I'm feeling lonely.

[Chrislydi]

It's like the which comes first puzzle, and maybe the treatment you're suffering is driving you to try and accommodate it in ways that you're now familiar with. There's nothing wrong with the desire to wear a chastity device and as you say, it's not a new impulse, but is it more a mental response to her behaviour than any real need? Isn't it rather a side issue, although if it helps you cope there's no reason why you shouldn't. I'm no expert and could easily be wrong, it may help you cope mentally but it seems unlikely that it's any real solution to the problem.

I think the desire for the chastity device was more about feeling that intention from her. It's a conscious decision to put a lock on and then it's a conscious decision whether to unlock or not.

For example going for a month without any sexual contact feels like neglect and abandonment to me, especially when she's giving her time and attention to someone else. That same scenario with the inclusion of a chastity device would feel different to me, like it was a part of a fun game rather than neglect.

I've never worn a chastity device (I always wanted one) but I imagine that is how I would feel about it. I've heard people say it feels like their keyholders hand is constantly holding them. I think that would feel nice and reassuring in a way, especially during the times when I'm feeling lonely.

You may have done so already, but take advice from those on here who wear such devices. I've read some are better than others but also initially it might irritate if locked up too long. One question although it may be problematical I'm not sure I would be handing the keys over, your wife may not be the best keyholder in these peculiar and exceptional circumstances.

[newaussiecuck]

It's like the which comes first puzzle, and maybe the treatment you're suffering is driving you to try and accommodate it in ways that you're now familiar with. There's nothing wrong with the desire to wear a chastity device and as you say, it's not a new impulse, but is it more a mental response to her behaviour than any real need? Isn't it rather a side issue, although if it helps you cope there's no reason why you shouldn't. I'm no expert and could easily be wrong, it may help you cope mentally but it seems unlikely that it's any real solution to the problem.

I think the desire for the chastity device was more about feeling that intention from her. It's a conscious decision to put a lock on and then it's a conscious decision whether to unlock or not.

For example going for a month without any sexual contact feels like neglect and abandonment to me, especially when she's giving her time and attention to someone else. That same scenario with the inclusion of a chastity device would feel different to me, like it was a part of a fun game rather than neglect.

I've never worn a chastity device (I always wanted one) but I imagine that is how I would feel about it. I've heard people say it feels like their keyholders hand is constantly holding them. I think that would feel nice and reassuring in a way, especially during the times when I'm feeling lonely.

You may have done so already, but take advice from those on here who wear such devices. I've read some are better than others but also initially it might irritate if locked up too long. One question although it may be problematical I'm not sure I would be handing the keys over, your wife may not be the best keyholder in these peculiar and exceptional circumstances.

Yes I am pretty well researched in them from years back before I first made a request to get one. Time has moved on though so there do seem to be a lot more options these days, so not sure which is the best kind. Back then the CB series (CB6000 etc, plastic) were the most common but not very pleasing to the eye. I did have a look at the Jailbird and something like that would be ideal, I love the look of stainless steel and I'm pretty sure my wife would prefer something like that also. Cost-wise it's a pretty big investment and maybe a cheaper mass produced stainless steel option would be better as a starting point. I'm not sure what options are good for that though. Then if we like it we could invest in a better solution. I guess a few options I could present to my wife for her to make a decision on would be good. I just think I may have better luck in selling the idea if it's not a big $ investment to begin with as a trial.

Having said that, I'm still not 100% sure I will ask again for one. It was pretty traumatic last time. After asking and getting turned down, I did get caught looking at them again and she was FURIOUS!!!!! She ended up taking off her wedding ring for 3 days over that one. That was about 10-15 years ago now. Comparing her reaction to that with what shes now doing online . . . . . wow!!!!

I might one day make a throwaway line such as something like "Maybe you need to lock him up" and see if she bites. If she has interest in that then she will respond positively. If not, then she'll either not say anything or just say no. Before that, I need to have options to hand to be able to answer questions such as how much are they etc.

[newaussiecuck]

This morning I got my delayed hand-job, so only delayed by a day. I was half-hoping to be drawn out a bit longer but it did feel very good and I very much appreciated.

I didn't ask or anything, she just reached over and began as soon as she detected I was awake.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

Yes I am pretty well researched in them from years back before I first made a request to get one. Time has moved on though so there do seem to be a lot more options these days, so not sure which is the best kind. Back then the CB series (CB6000 etc, plastic) were the most common but not very pleasing to the eye.

Well, even if you don't find them 'pleasing to the eye', the CB-X devices, with their multiple included sizing options, are good for figuring out the sort of sizing you need...before you go throwing dough at a custom device or multiple other SS devices. If you go through 5 cheap $30 devices, you've spent as much as if you'd ordered a device from CB-X.

[newaussiecuck]

Yes I am pretty well researched in them from years back before I first made a request to get one. Time has moved on though so there do seem to be a lot more options these days, so not sure which is the best kind. Back then the CB series (CB6000 etc, plastic) were the most common but not very pleasing to the eye.

Well, even if you don't find them 'pleasing to the eye', the CB-X devices, with their multiple included sizing options, are good for figuring out the sort of sizing you need...before you go throwing dough at a custom device or multiple other SS devices. If you go through 5 cheap $30 devices, you've spent as much as if you'd ordered a device from CB-X.

I do like your suggestion and it makes sense, however I know my wife wouldn't like the look of a plastic cage. I once showed her the CB-x series device a number of years ago and it turned her off I think. As she isn't the one wearing it she can only judge by the look and feel of it. Stainless steel would be more appealing to her, and I imagine she would like to be able to touch me through the bars of a stainless steel cage, I don't think that's possible with plastic.

I'm still not sure if I'll go this route or not, but maybe a throwaway line could gauge interest.

I need to find a way to make this situation more enjoyable for me if I'm going to stick it out. I've given up hope on getting her to stop.

[newaussiecuck]

Things are going along sort of OK. A LOT of bumps in the road but we do seem to be better at sorting them out. Not that we've actually really talked through about anything yet, but she seems better at recognising when I'm about to go nuclear and diffusing the situation either through having me touch her or giving a hand job or offering to come for a walk or anything else she can think of to placate me. At least she's getting the message that she needs to do more, and she's probably still doing the bare minimum, but it's at least it's something and a step in the right direction.

She's determined to continue what she's doing but I do feel we've progressed from a few months ago where I felt we were over and I'd been completely replaced to where we now have some good moments together and she wants me around. I still don't feel like I'm coming first most of the time, but I do at least feel now like I'm now valued.

She used to send me out shopping or whatnot and almost encourage me to stay out, but these days she tells me to not be out long and I've even had a few phone calls checking up on where I am if I'm gone too long. So she's at least caring what I'm doing etc.

[newaussiecuck]

It's been a bit of an adjustment from me as she's really started taking more control and demonstrating it. As an example of something that's been hard for me, in bed especially she's not wanting me to initiate anything, even as simple as a backrub or hugs etc. She hasn't said anything directly but a few times she's given off some pretty strong vibes or shown annoyance. She wants to be the one to control when we have contact which is less often than I would like. Also we were mucking around a bit on the couch during lunch and I put my arm around her and pulled her towards me and gave her a bit of a hug and she pulled away and looked at me and said "Don't manhandle me the way you manhandle the dog", not in an upset way but she was pretty firm and direct and was basically telling me not to use my physical strength to overpower her. Soon after she put her arm around me and pulled me towards her very hard (manhandling me) and kissed me very forcefully. It was a pretty clear demonstration of how she wants us to interact and it seemed very Dominant/submissive to me.

At times it's been difficult as it can feel like rejection when she spurns my advances but after yesterday's demonstration I think it's more about power and control than rejection.

She did have me pleasure her the night before last and it really filled my tank and helped my mood tremendously, it's clear that is something that I need, but she's very much rationing me on that front. Afterwards she saw my boner in my pants and she started punching it saying "Go to sleep go to sleep go to sleep, you had yours yesterday" referring to a handjob she'd given the day before. Then she said "No???? OK" and gave another handjob and afterwards said something like "There" to indicate that I was done now and I very much got the impression that will be my last one for a while.

[newaussiecuck]

The other day when everything had built up and I was about to explode I was about to have a pretty big conversation with her and had rehearsed everything I wanted to say over and over in my mind. Then she had me pleasure her and now everything has changed to the point where I'm feeling really good about things right now. I guess she knew what I needed. We're interacting very well and she's being really nice to me in her own way.

We just had a pretty nice interaction in the kitchen. She came up to me grabbed my balls and gave a little squeeze and a slap and smiled and walked away.

I think next time I'm in the mood to start something, instead of just reaching over to make physical contact (hug/back rub etc) I'll just ask if "I may pleasure the Queen" and let her know that she doesn't have to return the favour if she wishes not to and see what happens with that. It seems to be what she's indicating that she wants.

[Chrislydi]

I know it's been a tough journey and a hard road back finding a connection, it's great to read you may now be in a much better place with a clearer way forward.