My Cuckold Journey

[gesdell]

I wonder if he will ever finish his story, or if he just wants to forget about that part of his life? It must have been tough to live through it the first time without having to relive it over and over again.

[Chrislydi]

I wonder if he will ever finish his story, or if he just wants to forget about that part of his life? It must have been tough to live through it the first time without having to relive it over and over again.

I'm hoping one day he might think it could be quite cathartic to finish off recalling the whole lengthy episode. It really did draw you in to the whole fascinating dynamic, but then again i think the hurt might be something you really wouldn't want to revisit too often and might be better left buried in the recesses of his memory. I respect his wishes either way and am just so grateful he managed to share so much.

Chris

[Chrislydi]

I wonder if he will ever finish his story, or if he just wants to forget about that part of his life? It must have been tough to live through it the first time without having to relive it over and over again.

I'm hoping one day he might think it could be quite cathartic to finish off recalling the whole lengthy episode. It really did draw you in to the whole fascinating dynamic, but then again i think the hurt might be something you really wouldn't want to revisit too often and might be better left buried in the recesses of his memory. I respect his wishes either way and am just so grateful he managed to share so much.

Reading back this comment Jeff rightly replied to, still leaves me incredulous with how some interpret the path to divorce so differently. Perhaps that comment about him 'living a dream come true' was meant to be ironical? - it's just so perverse.

On the other hand, you are living a dream come true, and we really thank you all your messages in the forum

A "dream come true"? You do realize that this is a true story and his marriage totally blew up and cost him his family? And he has spent years trying to get his life back together. Is that how you dream of your life going?

Turbo55 describes how 'his dream come true' left him.

I wanted to clean up the end of the Leah saga, but I just can't. There's been some real blockages of what I can and can't remember at the end. We got divorced and it REALLY fucked me up; to the point where many would say I've never been the same. I don't want to go there... not yet anyways...

Don't get me wrong some of the journey was super hot but he was hardly living the dream when he retold the account, the whole episode left really nasty wounds. Divorce is often ugly and the after affects of a marriage ending badly isn't something to be envied.

Chris

[Chrislydi]

This post from hwc is exactly what I thought of this never less than enthralling real life story, which despite the terrible sadness of his inevitable fate was compelling reading.

Bear in mind people, that this a story about what has already happened - and what a story! The writing style is excellent! it draws you in and holds your attention, this is without a doubt, my new favourite, and I cannot wait to see how it develops. I genuinely cannot wait for the next chapter turbo55.

I've rarely read a more well written thread. It's compulsive reading, once you start you just have to read right until the very last post. I don't even share the kink to that extent but can definitely fully identify knowing how addictive and uncontrollable it can be. For me it's one, if not the very best thread on the whole site.

Chris

[Chrislydi]

In 2017 turbo55 wrote this

Will I finish? I have no idea but I need time to sort my head out. Looking at the last part of my story it actually blew me away that it happened. Len was my best friend and... well... I threw away a good friendship and my wife... I walked away telling myself "Well they were fucking assholes, good riddance!" but writing this story shows who the real asshole was... my fucked up mind...

You have to ask yourself how can such a truly awful outcome leaving you psychologically scarred with deep wounds that still to this day hurt so acutely, be somehow married to describing the exact same timeline as 'The time of your life'?

... and yet the answer surely lies in the overwhelming addictive and irresistible power of this kink. It becomes a need not a choice, it's something that's in you and part of you, a necessary compulsion that can eroticise self destructive behaviour and want more of the same not less, you willingly facilitate and promote the very things that can underminine everyone and everything most dear to you. It becomes your God, the only thing you must bend the knee to, a super dominant force you can't deny or even want to control.

Chris

[veub]

This post from hwc is exactly what I thought of this never less than enthralling real life story, which despite the terrible sadness of his inevitable fate was compelling reading.

. . .

I've rarely read a more well written thread. It's compulsive reading, once you start you just have to read right until the very last post. I don't even share the kink to that extent but can definitely fully identify knowing how addictive and uncontrollable it can be. For me it's one, if not the very best thread on the whole site.

Chris

To me the "terrible sadness" is that the cuck goes into this knowing the likely outcome, but the sexual thrill is so "addictive and uncontrollable" that they ignore reality. Instead, they cling to the fantasy of a relationship surviving based on an incredibly small subset of relationships that survive.

It always confounds me is the comments that the marriage will survive "because a marriage is about more than just sex." No one ever comments on the irony: a marriage surely is about more than that, but the cuck is willing to risk everything for sex - so that he can get his sexual thrill.

[Chrislydi]

To me the "terrible sadness" is that the cuck goes into this knowing the likely outcome, but the sexual thrill is so "addictive and uncontrollable" that they ignore reality. Instead, they cling to the fantasy of a relationship surviving based on an incredibly small subset of relationships that survive.

It always confounds me is the comments that the marriage will survive "because a marriage is about more than just sex." No one ever comments on the irony: a marriage surely is about more than that, but the cuck is willing to risk everything for sex - so that he can get his sexual thrill.

That's an excellent point veub, the irony very much noted.

I just look at what happened and can't join in any chorus that thinks he was somehow living the dream, unless that dream was his worst nightmare.

To quote turbo55 again...

Writing it feels like I'm in a boxing match and the memories have a way of hitting back.

I look over what I have written, especially the last few chapters, and I'm pleading with my past self to grab a set. To stop the fucking train before it derails and goes over the cliff. I look at the events and think "That's not possible, that couldn't have happened, I couldn't have just let (no not let) pushed this to happen!)

The following are turbo55's thoughts after the aftermath of this, understandably they're reflective of what happened to him. It's hard to know whether going through such a life affecting painful episode would make many of us feel similar. For me there are too many variables involved to be too objective about it or be in a position where you could then generalise.

I just want you to know this shit nearly destroyed my fucking life! Like seriously people you are playing with fire. Once this shit gets into your head you can't get it out... writing all my past has seriously helped but for anyone thinking about telling your wife or asking your wife for this just run from that thought. What nobody says on any of these sites is that cuckolding destroys 99% of marriages. Trust me. It's not sustainable. It's not the way people work... Anytime you have to hide shit from society, from family, from your kids, then you know what you're doing is fucked up. Run! Flee!

I know most if not all of you won't even hear this. I wouldn't have. You want what you want. You believe you are a "cuckold" and that's just you so accept it. Buddy, it's not true. It's wormed your way into your brain. You are sick. I am (was) sick.

I feel about 80% of the way out of cuckold land and am feeling amazing. My marriage and my sex are coming back. She's initiating and we are having sex beyond what I've ever known. My premature ejaculation is gone and I can be present with my wife when we make love. The stories, fantasies, and games in my head that played out while making love are gone... you guys know what I'm talking about. The inner you who wants to be with your wife but your dick is lost in fantasyland, imagining what the other side of the fence is like... Is it exciting? Watching your wife finally do it? Yes, I'm not going to lie... Is it exciting trying meth? Yes, I'm sure it is. That's where you need to understand this, it's an insane drug. You will end up in the same place as hard drugs. On the street alone. No wife, no kids, just you and your drug.

How do I crash and burn this Popsicle stand?

...........

I pray all of you make it out of here alive and married and find joy in your wife just the way God made her. For you and only you.

Not exactly living a dream come true then.

Chris

[Asterix42]

What a terribly sad story. It must have been very hard to share like Turbo55 has.

[Boomhauer]

I'm not into humiliation or denial, but Turbo made me understand the appeal of it. It's really cool to have someone explain kink stuff so well. I hate that he hasn't finished up the story. He started writing it 7 years ago. That's too bad. It was really well written.

[pines]

bump. Turbo, do you have any more stories to share about Leah and Len? I know it must be hard for you to write about it, but hopefully it is therapeutic as well.

[hwc]

Sadly, so many great stories end here, unfinished. This is definitely one of them. It promised to be every bit as enthralling as what had already been written.

[scarfolamew]

Ok you wankers I have one more story. It's the story I have been wanting to write for a long long time. It's the most out there, fucked up, unbelievable story of all my stories. I didn't want to jump to this story without some chronological sequence as it really is the biggest of my stories. This will likely tank all my other smaller stories leading up to this and even after this. I left it this long because I wanted to clean up the end of the Leah saga, but I just can't. There's been some real blockages of what I can and can't remember at the end. We got divorced and it REALLY fucked me up; to the point where many would say I've never been the same. I don't want to go there... not yet anyways...

I hope the amazing narrator behind these events is doing well.

The promise of the Eva saga looms large in my imagination. Wishing turbo55 the courage and inspiration to continue his tale someday.

[pines]

Turbo, hope you're well. I miss your writing.