I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

[Ky_Da]

Yes, getting in the last word is kind of my wife’s thing. As far as family acceptance, it was a little challenging in the beginning, but not as much as I’d expected. Of course there’s the obvious. I’m a little older than Jaimee—less than a decade, but she was still on the very young side when we married and hand’t finished her degree, so of course her parents were concerned about that. . She’s also their only daughter. That in itself carries an automatic animosity towards the potential husband.

But one thing I’ve learned is that while Americans and Brits have a lot in common, there’s still a lot that differs. As I reflect back to those early days, I realize now that my in-laws did express their concern, but I really didn’t pick up on it because they did it in more subtle ways. Even my father-in-law, he may be American, but he’s lived so long in England that he shares a lot of the same traits now. Whereas my parents prefaced the conversation by saying, “We’ll support you if this is what you want, but here are some things we don’t think you’re considering,” and then they gave me their list. My in-laws would make a comment like, “Holliday travel is such a nightmare, and one mustn’t expect everyone to make the effort.”

That’s a really bad example, but my point is that I’d often be left scratching my head wondering what the fuck. When Jaimee was present, she would basically translate it for me later, and be like, “They’re simply saying they’ll miss us when we can’t come for the holidays.”

Again, that’s a terrible made-up example. They have a way of saying something, but doing it in a way that’s a little different if you’re not used to it. I get it now, but I still wonder how much I missed of what was actually said back in those early days.

For my side of the family, It took some time for them to get to know her. They all made an effort from the very beginning, but occasionally my wife can be extremely blunt. I think she intimidated the hell out of my brothers for the first year of our marriage… no, strike that, they’re still slightly intimidated. I have a sister, but she’s chosen a tough path through life and so we rarely see her.

All-in-all it’s worked out great and these days everyone gets along really well. My in-laws are fantastic people. And everyone is enamored with our boys. The only friction (and it’s minor) is with my mother-in-law really. And not for any one thing I’ve done. She’s just very… ‘proper, strict about decorum and things like protocol, tradition, and etiquette. I’m far too casual for her, and she sees me rubbing off on her daughter that way.

[Ky_Da]

Hey all,...


...We had great sex that night, but I know each one of us was thinking about the books we had just read. I was imagining my wife with a black boyfriend, and I’m sure she was imagining the same, only with the added caveat that I was wearing the cage. And maybe it’s from the direction of Xleg story lately, but I have been thinking (and watching) about stories where women are ‘transformed’ into QOSs. I think like all things in this lifestyle, we need to push things further and further to feel the same rush of endorphins we did when we first started, Our lust pushes us to push the envelope.

Damn, Ky, I've miss your story telling and writing! You and Jammie's story and Don Jetman's stories of he and his wife "L" are amazing! My wife has become addicted to Don's writing and I'm looking forward to introducing her to you and Jammie's story now that your back to writing again. I wanted to, but when I went looking for your older thread, it was gone! I nearly fucking cried! Or my "Lil husband penis" as my wife now calls it, did!
On the Queen of Spades front, is it all that we cuck want it to be? Fuck yes! IF you find the right BBC Bull! My wife has been fucking well hung BBC Bulls for the last four years now and it has been, without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to our sex life! It has been emotionally challenging for me on a lot of levels, but seeing my wife sexually fulfilled like I never had or could, makes up for it 100%. But I had to let go of my male ego and need to control everything. I learned to stop thinking in terms of labels and lines, do's and don'ts, let the cuckolding just wash over me and just relax!
This life is a drug, as you well know. Don't let yourself, your identity, or marriage get lost in. Because, if you chase this particular rabbit down this particular rabbit hole, you'll find yourself much like Alice, always amazed, beguiled and overwhelmed by where this leads! You will crave the way it feels to hear her tell you to "Put my lovers cock inside my cunt, so he can give me what you can't!" Ans "Can you leave us alone for an hour?" And them listen to them fuck for hours, like animals in heat, through a closed door! You will throb and drool in your cage, aching with an intensity that you can't imagine now. And once you've tasted the water from THAT well, you can't imagine ever living without it again! And once she's taken you that deep into cuckoldland and sees just what it does to you and power that gives her over you and how it made you cum in your cage without even being able to touch yourself (it can truly be that intense!), it will seal your cuckold fate, doom you to the most extreme sexual adventure and emotional angst that you can imagine! If you're a good cucky boy, that is!
A drug, I tell you. A.Fucking.Drug!
Sutter

Damn Sutter, that’s a lot to take in. Despite how long this thread has grown, my wife and I have really done very little compared to so many on this site. For example, the other day Jaimee and I found a list online of kinky cuckold ideas. There were probably a hundred of them - well, maybe 50. Point being that we had only done a small handful of them. Granted, a lot of them were pretty extreme and fell into the bisexual arena, but it made me thing about all the things we have yet to experience. I know my wife wants to try continue to have these experiences.

No question what you wrote is almost exactly what rings my bell the hardest, but it’s also what terrifies me the most. Good stuff.

[Ky_Da]

Jaimee cleared her throat, stretched out lazily, and set the phone on the bed, “The writing is rubbish—but better than yours,” she said

That was harsh on you Ky.
Your writing is great - anyway all you have to do is write down your wife's cut-glass accented swearing. That's what a posh English girls school teaches you. Bloody hell, I say.

I’m afraid that one sad fact is that I don’t hear my wife’s accent like I used to. I’m so used to hearing her speak that I almost consciously have to listen for it. But yes, she still does have that cut-glass sharpness. What I find interesting is that a lot of people have more-or-less two forms of speech; formal and informal. Hell, even some languages have entire conjunction systems crafted for formal and informal speech. But my wife almost has only one type of speech, and it’s like she stuck in formal mode all the time. There is a slight difference when it’s her and I together, but not much. To her, that’s just how you speak. I think it was so drilled into those kids at school that there stuck that way for the rest of their lives. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s been my experience.

My wife both loved and hated the school she went to. It was about as good of an education as one could ever get, but it comes at a cost, and not just financial. I don’t think i could do it, send my kid away for 9 months out of the year, only seeing them on holidays and during the summer. Those kids to learn some serious skills and independence though. Still, I like teasing her as the posh-girl that went slumming and ended up marrying him.

As to her diss of my writing skills, that was water off a duck’s back for me. She is the epitome of an English lit snob. Anything less than the classical perfection and she’s going to have a visceral reaction to the quality.

[sadie]

Which says a lot for her appreciation of cuckold porn.

I also attended that kind of school (complete with our own sexual predators that happily I was able to steer clear of). Yep, it has costs and strengths.

I do love dirty minded women :-)

[wannabecUKold]

But my wife almost has only one type of speech, and it’s like she stuck in formal mode all the time.

That's how she can get away with the sluttiest remark. It flies over the heads of the people listening until a few minutes later they get what she's said and can't believe she's just said it.

I remember one girl when asked why the plaster had fallen off the wall behind the bed head simply replied that one's personal needs had to take priority over the decor. Or, when her boyfriend was shocked to find her vibrator, simply said - in front of others - that she obviously needs to supplement the thin fare that he provides.

[viking53]

But my wife almost has only one type of speech, and it’s like she stuck in formal mode all the time.

That's how she can get away with the sluttiest remark. It flies over the heads of the people listening until a few minutes later they get what she's said and can't believe she's just said it.

I remember one girl when asked why the plaster had fallen off the wall behind the bed head simply replied that one's personal needs had to take priority over the decor. Or, when her boyfriend was shocked to find her vibrator, simply said - in front of others - that she obviously needs to supplement the thin fare that he provides.

I can just imagine Lady Mary in Downton Abbey saying that!

[Ky_Da]

Hey all,

Another post from your local cuck-aholic. It feels like I’ve posted way more everyday life type stuff than cuckold experiences, so thanks for bearing with me anyway. It’s just how life is for us right now – lots of ordinary days with a few extraordinary days mixed in.

I do have some experiences I want to share, but I wanted to get a couple of posts out of the way to help me communicate what’s been happening in our lives these last months.

My wife’s been out a handful of times with her latest adventure—Andrew. He seems a good guy and it’s been a good experience for my wife to put her toe back in the water. We’re at the point now where Andrew wants more time with her, and we’re trying to figure out what we want. It’s a harder game to play when the guy thinks my wife is going behind my back. With Wade, we were able to set some ground rules in the beginning and that helped us avoid a lot of pitfalls.

On the most recent date, we took a step and did something we’ve never done before. She went without her wedding ring on.

The cuckold angst I felt when I saw her take it off and place it on the nightstand was probably more intense than anything in recent memory. We’d agreed to give it a try one night because Andrew asked her out on a date that involved clients he’s worked with for many years. They know he’s divorced and he wouldn’t be able to explain dating a married woman. And these were the type of clients that would look down on such an arrangement.

Seeing my wife dressed for her date and not wearing her ring was fucking really intense. Before she left, she took her ring with her and said she’d only take it off while they were with the clients, and that once she and Andrew were alone, she’d put it back on again.

When I next saw her, it was two in the morning the following morning as she did the walk of shame back home. Andrew begged her to stay the night, but she told him she’s not ready for that step and she had to get home to her kids.

I only get to see a few pictures from these liaisons, so it’s more of a mental trip than anything else. Andrew has already asked her out again. He’s chartered a private boat to go to Catalina Island for a day of fishing with a half-dozen clients. My wife’s not much of a fisherman. I’ve taken her a few times and she has little interest in it, but she’s enjoying her dates with Andrew and I think she’s also enjoyed being around more adults. I can see that it’s hard for her when she’s home with the boys all day. She needs more adult conversation.

I was late getting home recently, and when I did, I found my wife sitting in the recliner in our bedroom, wearing nothing, sipping tea and talking to Andrew on the phone. Seeing me, she set down her mug and motioned for me to approach. When I was within arm’s distance, she undid my belt, pulled my pants down to my knees and then pointed for me to sit on the end of the bed.

I was excited, but wasn’t sure where this was going. Once I sat down on the bed, my beautifully naked wife went to the bathroom and returned with the bottle of lotion and a hand towel. She handed them to me and then returned to her seat on the recliner. Never once did she falter on her conversation with Andrew.

I listened as my wife talked about favorite restaurants and places to see in San Diego, then after another ten minutes or so, I heard my wife say, “I enjoyed it very much. It’s been a long time since my pussy’s felt a proper cock.”

Ugh! I know my eyes widened in surprise but the teasing smile on my lips told me she was wanting to have fun. She parted her legs and could see her shaved lower lips. It’s been a little while since she’s shaved herself completely down there. It was simply easier to go au natural for a time. She glanced towards me and gestured for me to ‘get started’, and then she returned her attention to her phone call and her tea.

I listened for about another minute before an almost angry glare came from my wife. She motioned with her eyes toward the lotion.

Fuck-all, okay, I applied some lotion and got started. Masturbation is something I’m fairly familiar with, but for a long time, I haven’t done it too often. Even when we’ve played the game in the past, I’ve tried to maintain some self control—not always successful—but I’ve never had a habitual masturbation habit. I heard a guy once tell me, when I was like 14, that jacking off might feel good, but in the end, you’re just fucking yourself. I don’t know why, but that’s always stuck with me.

Anyway, in only a few minutes, I found myself jacking off in front of my wife while I listened to her phone call with her latest lover.

I heard her say, “My husband does his best, but unfortunately, his gifts are not those of the bedroom variety.”

I watched with cock in hand and heart racing as she listened and smiled, “Of course I remember Sean… oh that’s interesting, but it would ever happen. He’s a beastly man. I honestly thought he was intellectually challenged when I first met him… now Troy is a bit more interesting. I got the impression he was an old mate of yours…”

I listened for a long time while my wife seemed to be discussing other men, but only getting one side of the conversation, I was having to piece it together and it was frustratingly maddening.

“I’ve only once participated in a threesome, but I’m keen to try it again, my last experience was… life changing,” she continued, “…No, my husband prefers to pleasure himself than to be with me… Yes, I’m sure he suspects that I cheat on him. Personally, I think he likes the idea. He knows he’s not enough to satisfy me.”

That was it. I blew my load into the hand towel. My wife smiled, finished up her conversation, and ended the call. “I think I much prefer you cuming this way. No nasty mess for me to clean up after,” she stood and stretched. Fuck she’s beautiful, “I’m going to have my shower,” she declared, tossing her phone onto the recliner.

I cleaned myself up and tossed the hand towel into the hamper. I checked on the boys who were sleeping in their cribs, grabbed a beer and returned to the bedroom. The events over the last months were really starting to get my cuck engine revved.

I picked up my wife’s phone and entered the code. We agreed a long time ago that we would each have complete access to each other’s phones, and that we should check in on each other once in a while, just to avoid any temptation. I rarely do it, but once in a while I’ll scroll through her texts and photos. I went to the pictures and browsed the pics with her and Andrew. They were good. They were erotic. But for some reason they weren’t that much of a turn on. I had no connection with them. It was like looking at porn with someone that resembled my wife.

I exited the pictures and went to the phone screed. The past call log came up automatically, and I was confused to see that the most recent phone call was several hours earlier, and it was with her mother. Fuck, she had made up the whole phone call with Andrew. She had totally sold it. The whole thing had been contrived to tease and taunt me. Damn I love this woman. She knows me too well.

I was about to put the phone down when I decided to look at the texts. I was in for another shock. She had some recent texts with Wade.

For those who haven’t read the past pages, Wade was my wife’s previous lover/boyfriend, and is also the biological father of my boys. As far as I knew, they hadn’t spoken or had any communication, so I was surprised to see the texts. My heart was beating hard as I opened the text chain.

The first thing I noticed was that the texting was infrequent. Maybe once a week, sometimes a couple in a day, so that eased my emotions some. The texts were mainly my wife sharing the occasional picture of the boys and Wade commenting about how quickly they were growing and how handsome they looked. I was really conflicted about this one. I never knew she had been sending him pictures. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

The last texts were a little more personal, but nothing I’d consider a betrayal of trust. Wade expressed how much he wished he hoped he might be able to be part of their lives someday, and how he missed what we had before Jaimee became pregnant. He basically said that he’d never been happier.

When my wife came out of the shower, I asked her about the texts.

“I didn’t think it was a problem, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop straightaway,” she replied.

“I guess it’s fine,” I said, not really sure if I felt that way or not.

My wife narrowed her eyes at me. She was wrapped only in a towel. “You say that, but I don’t feel like you mean it.”

“Truthfully, I don’t know. We’ve kind of just avoided the whole subject with Wade since you got pregnant. He didn’t get you pregnant on purpose, so I’ve never been angry with him, and he’s always been extremely careful not to intrude. I actually feel bad sometimes because I know I haven’t treated him all that fairly. We basically did just drop him like a box of rocks.”

Jaimee sat on the recliner and curled her legs underneath her bum, “I don’t know if I want to talk about this, Ky,” she said, looking down toward her knees.

“Is something wrong? Did something happen?” I pressed.

“No, of course not,” she shot back quickly. “I’ve sent him a few pictures, and I tell him how the boys are doing once in a while because I felt I owed him that much… but I try not to think about him very often. It’s too hard.”

I wasn’t sure whether it was a good idea or not, but I couldn’t let it drop without knowing more. “Please, why is it too hard. Did you love him?”

Jaimee shrugged, “Maybe in a way I did, but it was different. I love you completely. You know that. But I can’t deny that I have a connection with Wade… I still feel that pull sometimes,” she was silent in thought for a long minute, “Maybe it’s something biological—I don’t know… I miss him sometimes,” she confessed.

There it was. I’ve always wondered about her feeling for Wade, but I’ve been too scared to ask, and she’s never volunteered them before. I trust that nothing has happened between the two of them since we ended the game, but there are still lingering feelings. As I think about it, it seems obvious that there still would be. Mean she bore his children. Fuck this stuff gets heavy sometimes. And the worst part about it is that I sometimes wish things were still like they were. Those times with Wade with were good. We all loved it.

As I further thought about it that night. I realized that thinking about her past experiences with Wade excited me more than her current affairs with Andrew.

We know Wade, and he’s proven trustworthy. We have a comfort level with him and enjoyed him being around. All that was great. And I would like to talk to him again, have him over for dinner and beers like we used to. But I know where that would lead, and I can’t help bot think that the pitfalls could potentially be many and deep. This is uncharted territory for us, and I don’t know of any others that have gone through an experience like this. The safe route is to keep him out of our lives, but is that what we should do? I don’t know.

I still struggle with what I might tell the boys someday. I feel I need to be honest with them when they’re old enough to understand the truth. They’re only months old and I’m already dreading that conversation. Would it be easier if they knew Wade growing up? Or would it just be fucking easier if I moved us to the UK and never thought about it again. Again, I don’t know.

I’ve honestly thought about moving us to a new location. With my present company, there are always opportunities for engineers to relocate. There are even openings in the UK. We love where we live though, and life is pretty good. Jaimee is completely addicted to surfing, and I absolutely love the idea of seeing her in her wetsuit teaching our boys how to surf when they’re old enough. I fucking love that thought.

I don’t see things with Andrew going any further. I don’t think there’s enough of a spark between them to turn into something more. Intellectually, he’s very compatible with her, and he’s been a good experience for her sexually, but I don’t think the chemistry works like it did with Wade.

Her relationship with Wade is still an enigma to me. He’s not stupid, he’s far from being an idiot. But he’s no intellectual either. He’s just a simply a guy that likes what he likes, and for some weird reason, it worked between them. I’m not sure why. Maybe she likes/needs that more primal side from a man. Wade is a man’s man. There is nothing feminine or soft about him. But he was never intimidated by my wife either. She could scorch him with the worst burn imaginable—even in front of others where it would be extremely embarrassing to anyone else, but Wade would shrug and laugh and wouldn’t be bothered in the least. I think he actually liked it. I think that might be part of why their chemistry worked.

[sadie]

Hmm OK Ky that's a big shoe to drop. and forgive me if I'm a little unclear on the place of this missive in your timeline. As I understood it, you had this conversation post-masturbating for your tricksy wife shortly after Jaimee's last date with Andrew, so I'm taking it this is in the last week or two.

And you're contemplating that she loves Wade after some fashion and that their relationship turns you on more than her current dalliance.

*AND* you feel it's a bit harsh dropping him after he's fathered twins on your wife (n.b. I would agree on this assessment).

So are you saying you think you'd like to see her with Wade again?!! I'm also a bit surprised that your conversation with her just ended at the above with she loves him and misses him ... and that was it? feels like an odd place to end a conversation ... no shade here, I'm just trying to understand.

And whatever else, I'll be looking forward to hearing your coming installments.

All the best wishes to you,

S

[Suchen Zucker]

Do you think Jaimee would re-establish what she had with Wade if you told her you wanted her to do so?

[Ky_Da]

Hey Sadie,

Reading your comments forced me to go back and reread my post, and yeah, I left a lot of ambiguity out there. Sorry about that. I’ve been writing these posts like paragraph at a time because that’s all I can make time for, so it’s easy to starting thinking about something else and forgetting to flush out previous thoughts and conversations. I’ll make more of an effort to at least proofread the posts.

I’m working on a part two to the conversation I had with my wife, and yes, that last post very recent. We haven’t made any decisions with Wade, so for now nothing changes. But we have started thinking and talking about the need find closure if we’ve decided it’s over. We just left so many things unsaid and undecided because we didn’t/don’t know how to deal with some of the issues. It felt like we had moved passed Wade and that time in our lives, and maybe we have, but we have both purposefully ignored it more than anything—the emotions it provokes have been beyond my ability to deal with effectively. We’ve both compartmentalized it, but that hasn’t made it go away.

What I’m trying to say is that I think we’re quickly approaching a time where we’re going to have to open that box up and deal with those emotions and experiences one way or another. It really does feel like a Pandora’s Box, and we don’t know what to expect once it’s open. I do feel there are things Jaimee and I haven’t fully discussed, so that’s basically where we are now. Having these discussions. Well, better said we’re talking about talking about it, lol. Fuck, I know, it doesn’t make sense. But we’re trying our best. The one thing we both agree on is that we shouldn’t leave anything unsaid. Yes, we really should have been discussing these heavy issues for over a year now, but it’s easy to distract yourself from the hard work when you don’t want to deal with something. Better late than never I guess.

I hope I’m making some semblance of sense. I’m barely able to understand my own thoughts these days. As I allow myself to think about recent events with Andrew, I’m even seeing that that has been a distraction.

I did just drop that shoe out of nowhere, so I’m really going to try and be more comprehensive with the next post. I’m open to any insight anyone has. Maybe I’m making this out to be more than it needs to be, but I don’t think so.

Questions remain like: do we owe Wade anything, even if it’s a formal goodbye? Does he deserve any involvement in the boys lives? What are the pitfalls? Is it okay to just cut him out completely, or do I really want that? Am I letting my kink fantasies get in the way of solid thinking?

More to come...

Thanks, Ky

[Xalar11]

Questions remain like: do we owe Wade anything, even if it’s a formal goodbye? Does he deserve any involvement in the boys lives? What are the pitfalls? Is it okay to just cut him out completely, or do I really want that? Am I letting my kink fantasies get in the way of solid thinking?

Well, considering this whole "issue" with Wade you're again in a difficult spot. From Wade's point I can of course understand, that he would like to have at least some small part, whatever this is, in the twins lives. And I assume at some point in their lives it will probably necessary to tell the twins about Wade. I certainly don't envy you having to do this, though it's certainly quite a few years away.

And about Wade himself, yes maybe you, Jaimee and Wade need a conversation for a kind of closure, but you should be very, very careful about this. But anything further than this, any new "involvement" of Jaimee with Wade...,well, youself speak about opening Pandora's box, excuse me if I express it way more drastically. I would say that would be the absolute stuppiest thing you could do. There are so many potential pitfalls with this, I can't count. Beginning with that Wade probably would like to have a even bigger role in the boys lives, demanding more and more, and maybe ending with Jaimee intensifying her feelings for Wade and leaving you for him, as unlikely as this seems for you today.
No matter how exciting this might get you, you already have thought with your little head once, a second time would be inexcusable and really would make me question your sanity. Sorry, but you can't really seriously thinking about this, in my mind.

Please, excuse my harsh words, I don't want to offend you. Of course, it's only your and Jaimee's decision what you do, but you both have really grown dear to me and it would make me sad seeing you getting hurt and any new intimate involvement of Jaimee with Wade has written "catastrophy" all over it, in my opinion.

[wittol]

From a fan: thanks. You're an outstanding writer, and I (and many others) very much appreciate your willingness to share your ongoing story with us.

[sadie]

Ky, nothing to be sorry about, I think I understand at least some of what you're going through and allowing that to happen at your own pace is part of that. I'm glad if sharing here helps with that, however outside the point that it is helping, you owe us absolutely nothing.

About Wade, here's my $0.02. I wouldn't think so much about what you 'owe' him as would it be good for all concerned for him to be involved going ahead? I doubt that's an easy question and I know my leaning would be that if he was good enough to have Jaimee's affection and to help you two have a couple of kids you love then he may well be good enough to have some involvement as someone who has reason to care about your children.

Personally I see Jaimee (and therefor yourself) continuing to be involved with Wade and that being positive in your relationship. I say that because I know a lot of poly, lesbian and gay parents who follow some approaches to family structure that reflect who they are in their lives and they do just fine, as do their kids.

Anyway, again, just my $0.02. Take your time please and let us know how things are going when and if you want.

best wishes again,

S

[curiouscouple122]

Ky,

I've followed along with your journey with Jamiee and Wade. My thoughts on this are one that comes from love. This started because you and your wife had a strong relationship with Wade. For that relationship to evolve into some kind of love was inevitable. This happens in poly relationships and though you may not have declared that both of you love Jamiee, there were feelings there.

I get the impression from what Jamiee is feeling its either on or off. She will either hate or love Wade for giving you both those two beautiful children. It is important that you do things together with her and the kids to create that strong bond, like going to the Zoo or other age appropriate activities for kids and parents. It will grow to feel right in time.

It would be a shame to cut Wade out of your life now when he is probably feeling like a horrible person. I can only imagine that what your wife is feeling, he is probably feeling to an extent. I think limits need to be set and boundaries, as long as everyone can stay within them. I'm hearing from you that you all still care about each other.

Personally, I would say the best thing is to love those kids with all your heart no matter what. I have adopted children myself and I am their dad completely, it doesn't matter who's DNA it is. Love your wife, be friends again with Wade. Families are who we consider to be the closest people in our lives, sometimes its not about a ring or genetics, but about who we care about and love the most.

Take care,
CC122

[viking53]

I think both Sadie and CC122 have got it completely right. A family is not about DNA but about love and nurturing which is why society works so hard to get children adopted if they are lacking that support..

I also strongly support that the three of you need to get together and talk about this.

[BigHotMess]

Yes, you are letting your fantasies get in the way. He’s not an idiot and he knows the deal. Your kids are only kids once and you are sacrificing time that could be spent enjoying them by making things overly complex. Tough love - it’s kind of selfish. They deserve the laser focus of your undivided attention if it’s at all possible.

I make my recommendations from a position of having made that mistake myself.

[MaxCargo]

Questions remain like: do we owe Wade anything, even if it’s a formal goodbye? Does he deserve any involvement in the boys lives? What are the pitfalls? Is it okay to just cut him out completely, or do I really want that? Am I letting my kink fantasies get in the way of solid thinking?

Well, considering this whole "issue" with Wade you're again in a difficult spot. From Wade's point I can of course understand, that he would like to have at least some small part, whatever this is, in the twins lives. And I assume at some point in their lives it will probably necessary to tell the twins about Wade. I certainly don't envy you having to do this, though it's certainly quite a few years away.

And about Wade himself, yes maybe you, Jaimee and Wade need a conversation for a kind of closure, but you should be very, very careful about this. But anything further than this, any new "involvement" of Jaimee with Wade...,well, youself speak about opening Pandora's box, excuse me if I express it way more drastically. I would say that would be the absolute stuppiest thing you could do. There are so many potential pitfalls with this, I can't count. Beginning with that Wade probably would like to have a even bigger role in the boys lives, demanding more and more, and maybe ending with Jaimee intensifying her feelings for Wade and leaving you for him, as unlikely as this seems for you today.
No matter how exciting this might get you, you already have thought with your little head once, a second time would be inexcusable and really would make me question your sanity. Sorry, but you can't really seriously thinking about this, in my mind.

Please, excuse my harsh words, I don't want to offend you. Of course, it's only your and Jaimee's decision what you do, but you both have really grown dear to me and it would make me sad seeing you getting hurt and any new intimate involvement of Jaimee with Wade has written "catastrophy" all over it, in my opinion.

True words of wisdom, in my opinion. I couldn't express it any better than Xalar11. Probably Xalar is right, you all three need a talk to get some kind of closure and maybe to define Wade's role in the life of the boys, but that should be just that "a talk" and nothing more.
Partly I can understand your feelings, it was certainly an exciting time with Wade, nonetheless I think that's a door you shouldn't open again, under no circumstances. I mean, do you really want to risk losing Jaimee? Because this could be the dire consequence, if you decide that Jaimee start engaging intimately with Wade again. No matter what "rules" you might establish beforehand, they could become hollow words quickly. Feelings between the two could grow and than there the boys, one day they could decide they would form the better family and then you would be out. As unlikely as this all might seem to you, you can't deny that this possibility does exists, and it becomes way, way more likely when Jaimee and Wade would start having sex with eachother again. I can only beg you, please, don't do this.

[afagehi7]

Unless you adopt she can leave and take the boys and you have zero recourse. That is how I understand the law.

[sadie]

@a7 that is absolutely wrong, the moment the married partner signs the child's birth certificate, he assumes full rights and responsibilities of being parent to a child.

Nevermind that it's pf clear Jaimee would never do that to Ky, the law recognizes the spouse as presumptive parent and unless Ky had contested paternity at the outset he's legally the twins dad.

There are certain circumstances where you are presumed to have legal paternity, even if you are not the child’s biological father. You are a legally presumed father if:

You are married to the child’s mother at the time of birth or conception,
You sign the birth certificate (even if you know you are not the biological father), or
Complete an acknowledgement of paternity form.
Once you establish legal paternity, you have all the rights and responsibilities of a parent. After you acknowledge paternity, you may only have a limited amount of time to contest or dispute paternity.

[offendedgame]

I don't know what to say, but in times like this I wish there was a like/love button just to say that i read your updates as soon as they come out and they don't go unnoticed.

I'm sorry you're going through this, though, but i know your'e gonna pull this out.

[curiouscouple122]

After a few minutes of companionable silence, I asked, “You’re sounding like you want to play the game again.”

A silence hung between us for a brief moment, “No,” she said simply. I must admit. I felt my heart sink a little. I guess I was wanting to play again more than I had thought. But they she continued, “It’s not a game anymore, Ky.”

Ky,

I think you said it in this quote here. It isn't a game anymore. There are real feelings involved between Wade, your wife, and you. This is your lifestyle, and I think it's beautiful.

Embrace the lifestyle and all the joy it brings, but games don't have invested long term emotions, they occur during the game, and then they are over. Just like if a bull started developing romantic feelings for my wife or visa versa, it no longer ends with the game, it flows over into our lives.

Be amazing, I wish you all the happiness in the world. Keep what is important in the world in focus though. Those boys are priority 1 now in your lives. Not to share that experience and work together in raising them can create resentment. Remember to temper the fun times with your wife and you with the joyous times of being a family. I know that your writings only represent 10% of that of what happens in your life, so I understand that my statement may be redundant. I love hearing about your life and thank you for sharing.

CC122

[Ky_Da]

Hey all,

I swear, if my wife gets one more fucking speeding tickets… argh!!! If she gets one more point on her license it’ll be suspended. Then we’ll have to move to the UK, or at least some place with better public transportation. I don’t get it. She’s not an aggressive person by nature, but for some reason she feels she’s above common traffic laws.

Well, what’re you gonna do… pay higher insurance rates, I guess…

On another note, I’m married to a wanton slut, and I love it. Eh, I have to be nicer these days. Wife had to start supplementing the boys with formula because the demand is outpacing the supply. And she’s not taking it very well. I really don’t understand why she’s letting this upset her so much. Those boys are growing fast and I doubt any woman would be able to keep up. I’m probably going to regret this post, but I’m working out of town this week and my better judgement meter is out of adjustment, and I went out for drinks with clients. I tied off a few too many and I'm a little drunk. It's been a long time since I drank like that. Having to be a responsible adult and parent has a way of tempering the urge to drink excessively, or at least it does most of the time.

Since I'm just typing out random shit, has anyone ever heard of a gal names Amber Luke? She's this young, attractive, Australian chick that is completely covered in tattoos. I mean she's covered her face, neck, hands, eyeballs, everything. I think it's the worst thing someone could do to themselves, but she is interesting to look at. I don't know what kind of future she's going to have, I guess porn in always an option. I'd probably watch that. I did see a video of a woman with a giant octopus tattoos on her ass. Or maybe I just dreamed that. I'm having a hard time thinking coherently right now. If I was a woman, I'd probably be a tattooed freak, too. No, that's not true. I'd probably have six kids with 7 different dudes.\\

Ok, enough of this. I have to go to bed so I can catch my flight back in the morning. Stay classsy San dieog

[sabya167]

Huh? Oh, okay, Ah, I mean, yeah sure, well, yes, umm...I mean, well, umm... Yeah definitely, sure, Ah, thanx for sharing, I guess.

[wannabecUKold]

Hey all,

for some reason she feels she’s above common traffic laws.

She's British.
Britannia waives the rules.

[insertomit]

My wife also felt upset when her milk supply started to go down. At that part of babies life there is not much a mother can do. Something I didn't realize before having kids is that breast feeding is exhausting for a mother, but she has a chance to bond with the babies we men could never do. When that milk supply goes away there is that fear of less bond and the hormones don't help.