Hotwife going out alone/why is it too difficult for me?

[Irwinhill]

reese's latest post is of transcendent importance for those of us interested in understanding this thread.

Many couples in this Forum--perhaps the majority--do not favor mixing love with their HW lifestyle. Their choice works well for them--as so many of their stories demonstrates.

But--as reese makes perfectly clear--accepting (or desiring) that one's wife might love her lover offers a unique thrill, a thrill that can be enjoyed without destroying the marriage.

It seems to me that the secret for making this happen is to start with a marriage that is rock solid: a marriage in which each partner is absolutely, totally, irrevocably committed to the other. For example, I know that my wife has the ability to find men who are handsomer, richer, smarter, more confident, and wittier than me. But I would bet my very existence on the fact that my wife will never leave me for one of those superior men. Nor would I leave her if I found a better woman (an impossibility).

Time and again Mr. and Mrs. reese have told us that their marriage comes first. Although Mrs. reese has sometimes explained this by declaring that Mr. reese knows how to give her pleasure in a way that surpasses the sensual abilities of all other men, I believe that even if Robert or some other fellow (or woman) proved to be the superior lover, the reeses' marriage would continue. Nothing in the story suggests otherwise.

So: If Robert says he'd like to marry Mrs. reese, that would be no reason for her to dump him. It's just talk. It's just what Robert feels. It's just his way of telling Mrs. reese he loves her.

Now: If Mrs. reese instructed Robert to avoid talking about love or marriage, and if Robert ignored Mrs. reese's requests, ah, that would be another matter.

But it seems to me that the reeses enjoy the kind of thrills that Robert brings--just as they enjoy different kinds of pleasures created by different kinds of men, and different kinds of relationships, e.g., casual encounters.

The reeses' story describes situations that go far beyond those my wife and I have explored. But in one way their marriage is very much like mine: They know what they like and they like doing it their way.

[mrs_reese]

Thanks everyone for your support.
My husband and I can truly say that we feel that we can call so many our friends in this forum.
xoxoxo

I spent the weekend with my hubby. We had a lot of fun doing married stuff. Children, football and homemade soup on Sunday. Robert?? We are going to try to make this work for all of us.
I am tired of moving from man to man, even though I would like to give Brad a chance and I will, I dont want to lose Robert.
Falling in love, I know that it isnt for a lot of couples. I never ever thought it would be for me.
But Robert is the perfect guy for me an my husband. As long as he can maintain his patience.
I dont want him to date anyone else. I am possessive, and even with Robert, if I am going to make love to him, I need him all to myself.
Right now, it's day to day.
Robert wants to see me soon, I am planning on going to his office for lunch. He asked me for a quickie, I told him I am not sure, but i will give him oral sex in his office!
I am craving his cum!

[kcpa]

If husband is willing to share then Robert has to be willing also or he is not the perfect man as you state. You are what your are, and either the "other" men in your life get with the program and accept the fact that you will dabble with the occasional Brad from time to time or they need to move on.

[reese]

I asked my wife if she wanted to live with Robert next week when her daughter is spending the week with her father.
Today my wife told me that she has had conversation with a few members from our forum.
As much as I dont want her to be away for the week....I do not want to inhibit her.
Something needs to be straightened out with this situation.
I have very mixed feelings with Robert...I have posted many times about my feelings...as well as my wife.
I do know that this last episode...it helped us all realize that WE need to decide what works best for my WIFE first...before Robert and mine! I told my wife a few times that I dont this this is working....she agreed..but deep down where do I stand to gain from all of this? Seriously, IF I PUSH the issue and request that my wife ends her relationship with Robert, will that make us happy? I believe that I will disappoint her and possibly make her let go of hotwife play. I am a big boy and trust my wife with all my soul....so I do not feel that I will lose her to Robert. But as she always replies, this is WHAT I wanted!
DO I want all of this to end?

[reese]

Sorry about that last post...on the phone with work while trying to type.
I had some typos....I know it was difficult to read at some points.

My feelings are: bottom line.........I want my wife to be happy. I am trying to put aside my own selfish feelings and be the strong man here. I realize that my wife would end her relationship with Robert if I asked...it would be difficult for her b/c it would not be her decision to walk away...she would be doing that for me! But why would I ask her to do that? OUR sex is off the charts.....it is the greatest selfish thing in my life! Seriously, I crave it daily....like the thrist when you've been out in 100 degree heat all day without water...YOU know how good it feels to quench your thrist once you have a drink of water...right? That is how I feel all the time! My wife goes out of her way to accomodate me...to make me happy...to make me feel loved....there hasnt been one time when I felt that I LOST HER...seriously lost her...NOT hard-on LOST HER...game playing LOST HER......I trust her...and I feel that when she plays hotwife...our marriage grows stronger...like trusting a person to give you a helping hand if your slipping down a cliff....that is how much I trust my wife with my marriage to her.
I am sure some of you will feel that I am trying to convince myself to NOT be so selfish and jealous. Well, I cant do that. I will still be raging jealous at times.....and very selfish for MORE from my wife. But there are so many things that I do for my wife that go unwritten in our thread. She knows how much she can depend on me. She knows how much she can trust me. We have a very good marriage...yes, we have our share of issues and problems...but at the end of the day, there is no one who I would rather share my life with than my wife. I asked her to be my hotwife...now she a hotwife for other men. BUT..she is my wife...and you know what? There have been so many men who envy me! So many who would give anything to have my wife as their wife! How much more do I want??

[reese]

Part3,

If my wife wants to leave Robert b/c she chooses to..then I will support her. If my wife wants to spend more time with him, then I will deal with that situation. But asking her to let go of Robert.....I cant do that!
SHe loves my assertive attitude...my alpha male ego...even when I am licking Robert's cum inside her...she loves that I walk into a room and I do not worry if someone is better dressed than myself or younger than me....she loves my confidence! Why do I want to act so insecure with Robert. I will let her choose whether to stay with him or leave him on her terms. I do know that much, the more I push my wife into Robert's arms, the more she desires me! Why not keep things the way that they are?

I am sure my wife will control Robert's possessiveness.
I will update as thing occur.
Take care everyone!

[BallSpanking]

I think the Reeses have a very good idea of what is and what is not doable forthem.
I think they have also shown considerable leniency with one another, and good judgment.

I would like to see this matter resolved to their mutual satisfaction, but I cannot and should not butt-in with my 2¢ worth as to what I think is good for them, I am sure they have a much better notion as to what that is.

[mrs_reese]

You guys are great.

My husband and I talked a great deal last night. We tried to talk after sex and we did. I want to answer a question posed by Mr.Bear. Sorry if I answer for hubby. We have sex a lot. More than I expect. With Robert, I know we are going to have sex and it takes away from the mystery. But with hubby, we have so much unplanned sex. We are very spontaneous! What woman wouldnt like that? I dont count, but I can say whether its sexual intercourse or any other type of sex, we probably indulge 5 to 8 times a week. Mind you, I am not that flexible, I hurt a lot from sex. So there are times that we manually stimulate each other. Hubby more than me. But we do share in a lot of sex. I am very sore sometimes after sex with Robert, so there are times that I just want hubby to lick me, or I may suck him!

Our discussion led to what I want to do with Robert. I realize that Robert wants more. I try to make him happy. I plan on visiting him at lunch today for a long discussion. I want to make things very clear for him. I do not like when he tries to take over for hubby. He has this charming way of convincing me that its ok to do that. He isnt pushy at all or forceful with his requests, and that is why I give in at times. But last night, hubby and I agreed that we love this lifestyle. Our marriage is stronger than it's ever been. I am starting to really enjoy denying him. I am able to enjoy Robert while I deny him and then I am allowed to watch the man I love re-claim me and feel his love and orgasm inside of me. I love that!

[reese]

My good friend Mr.Bear.
I read the past few posts....I have to agree with my wife. We have sex a lot! She is not like me though! I need to orgasm 2 to 3 times a day. Yes, that sounds ridiculous, but it is true. My wife is not able to accomodate me sexually that many times a day...so we will do other things.....I may jack off licking her back sideor pussy....or she may masterbate me telling me how much she wants to fuck Robert. She may suck my cock....all to induce an orgasm. But to get to the point...my wife cums a lot during each sexual experience. And that will keep her satisfied for a few days....until she is horny again. She tells me that at times she will NOT orgasm for Robert to save herself for me and to keep her horniness. I believe her. But the bottom line is that my wife and I have SEX...real live fucking...3 to 4 times a week....sometimes less if she if fucking Robert and not able to hold her orgasm.

[reese]

Jeez Mr.Bear, I dont count...there are times I dont orgasm and the next day I am a raging bear(no pun intended)!
Sex with my wife is reduced when she is with Robert...she is too sore at times....but my wife also realizes that more that she holds me off ..the more intense our sex is. I can only wish most of you who we count as our friends and have a curiosity of MRS Rr could watch her in action. Fucking her...or making love to her is one of the greatest experiences in my life. For example...tonight we could fuck and I will be completely satisfied....by tomorrow afternoon...I will be craving her again...and wanting her as much as I wanted the day before....

We are focusing on us..she met with Robert and had a long discussion with him.
My wife is in the shower..and I hope she will write in her own words about her talk with him.

[mrs_reese]

I visited Robert yesterday and laid out some ground rules. I can honestly say that we all never had any rules. I assumed Robert just understood where I stand with my husband. Robert was very open to my rules. He is so understanding and considerate. He apologized a lot telling me that he never wanted to cause any problems for me and my husband.
I believe that my husband is not interested in sharing in sex with Robert and I. Hubby is not happy with Robert and to his credit, he trusts me and is willing to put his feelings aside and focus on US. He doesnt want me to give up hotwifing and I choose Robert. I dont want to meet with Brad right now. It is just too much! I want to focus on Robert and my husband for now. Once in a while, I may want to play and meet other men, but nothing that involves a relationship.
Back to my talk with Robert. I asked him to promise me that he will stop asking me to leave my husband and possibly marry him. I asked him to promise me that he respects my marriage to my husband. He agreed to my requests. I told him that I do not feel sorry for my husband. That my husband will never come 2nd in my life. I also told him that I love him with all my soul and no matter how sexual Robert and I are, I am my husbands slave. I will never give up sex with my husband and live for the day that I can make him orgasm the way he does and make him love me with the intensity that he does.
Robert understood and I feel that we have a firm agreement on how to proceed with our relationship.
With all that in mind, I was asked to drop to my knees in his office and suck his penis. Robert was so yummy! I did as he asked and promised him that I will feel more comfortable around him now that we have an understanding.
We talked about the possibility of spending the week together next week. Hubby promised me that he will leave that decision to me. I am still thinking about that. It would be weird living with Robert the entire week and visiting my husband for sex like I do with Robert.

[aemn711]

I visited Robert yesterday and laid out some ground rules. I can honestly say that we all never had any rules. I assumed Robert just understood where I stand with my husband. Robert was very open to my rules. He is so understanding and considerate. He apologized a lot telling me that he never wanted to cause any problems for me and my husband.
I believe that my husband is not interested in sharing in sex with Robert and I. Hubby is not happy with Robert and to his credit, he trusts me and is willing to put his feelings aside and focus on US. ......Back to my talk with Robert. I asked him to promise me that he will stop asking me to leave my husband and possibly marry him. I asked him to promise me that he respects my marriage to my husband. He agreed to my requests. I told him that I do not feel sorry for my husband. That my husband will never come 2nd in my life. I also told him that I love him with all my soul and no matter how sexual Robert and I are, I am my husbands slave. I will never give up sex with my husband and live for the day that I can make him orgasm the way he does and make him love me with the intensity that he does.
.........Robert understood and I feel that we have a firm agreement on how to proceed with our relationship.
.......

Dear Mrs R

I believe you have done the heavy lifting however I think it would be much more powerful if Robert could look your husband in the eye and make the same promise to him that he is not going to try to take you away and destroy your marriage or in anyway try to marginalize what you and hubby share and have your husband - read him - and determine if he can accept this commitment to you both. That cannot be left on your shoulders alone. I know this may sound a bit sanitary but trust has been broken between hubby and Robert and it needs to be repaired especially before you move forward with a week away from hubby. Reading between the lines it sounds like hubby doesn't want to have anything to do with Robert because he doesn't trust him and it sounds like he wants to go to the "cave" LOL. But now is not the timne to go to the cave - males need to confront each other and get and agreement. For males its like shopping. We want to run into the store get what we want and the deal is done and we move forward. You haven't allowed Robert and hubby to do that. Now if Robert wanted to wear the "Big Hat" he might make this a condition of moving forward and know your hubby is truly happy with the arrangement and his involvement.
If you've ever seen the play "Defending the Caveman" it explains this dynamic in complete hilarity. Everything with men is a negotiation and once a deal is done its done and they can move on. You have not allowed this to happen in this case. Let the men be men

That's my .02

Aemn

[Iris777]

Sounds like you are making solid steps toward establishing boundries with Robert, something that he has never had to deal with before. He will probably try to push them, even though he has made promises. It seems to be part of what he has established as a pattern - sort of seeing what he can get away with. So be prepared to bring him to heel. Who knows? He might like it

You two are amazing. I am in awe.

[smw357mia]

I dont want to repeat anything already offered here, but after 20 years of marriage and 13 years of "hotwife" experrience, here is what I have to offer.

It has been my experience that it works better if the FB thinks my wife is either "cheating" or she lies and tells him we are "seperated". This seems to work better with guys she meets from out of town.

I know exactly what you are going through, when we started many years ago, it drove me nuts to sit at home while I knew she was getting her brains fucked out. I was excited for her, but at the same time I felt somewhat depressed or left out. The solution for me was to go to the gym or a long run. This seemed to relieve alot of anxiety, took my mind off things, and made me look and feel better about myself. The truth is, most women are scared to death that another woman is going to take their man away, so by keeping yourself in shape looking good, you are leveling the playing field, so to speak.

Be glad you have this forum bro, when my wife became a hotwife 13 years ago, I went through all this by myself. I can remember nights crying out in frustration because I didnt know where she was or who she was with, genuinely worried about her safety, when in actuality she had picked up some young stud and was getting pounded in some hotel. We have never been happier, so hang in there...

[mrs_reese]

smw357, that was very very nice/ the things that you wrote.
Aemn as always I took your advice and called a meeting this weekend with my men. No sex, no drinking, just hotwife talk.
Iris, its nice to have another hotwife to give us encouragment and believe me when I say that I love reading about your adventures.

We had breakfast with Robert today. I sat by my husbands side throughout the entire breakfast. I supported my husband completely as Hubby spoke his mind with Robert and asked that his behavior regarding some of our issues be stopped and that we all move forward under OUR terms. Hubby asked Robert to give both of us his word that he respects our boundaries. Hubby told Robert that he likes the fact that I feel comfortable with him and that I am in love with him. Hubby told Robert that he wishes we all can find a way to work together. We listened to robert's requests and how he would like to move forward with our hotwife relationship.
I feel that WE all are on the same page right now.

After our talk, I shook Robert's hand and asked that he truly honor our agreements. I am so happy.

Tomorrow, I will be spending the next 4 days with Robert. I will visit hubby at my home a few times as the 3 of us will be switching roles where hubby acts like my FB and Robert acts like my husband.
I am excited, this should be so so much fun!!!

[54321]

WOW!



54321

[mrs_reese]

GoodMorning everyone,
I have a few more minutes to write. After our talk with Robert yesterday, my husband told me how excited he is to swap roles with Robert. This was my idea, and I think that it will help both my husband and Robert understand what the other man goes thru when we play hotwife. It will be an exciting time for Robert and I to share 4 days together as pretend husband and wife. Of course we wont have the normal marital issues to deal with. But sharing dinners, laundry and household responsibilities will be on the agenda. I plan on BEING too tired for sex one day, just so Robert understands what my husband goes through after I come home after being fucked all night long by him(Robert).
What does everyone think about all of this. I am packed and ready to leave for Robert's!
My child is spending time with Dad/its an ideal situation/ he is a great father. Hubby will be able to live the single life. I am gonna try to deal with him visiting L this week. WE havent spoke in a while/but she remains my dear friend. Role reversals will be fun/exciting and nerve wrecking!
I am going to try to be a sexy housewife for Robert and fuck my husbands brains out tonight!
Wish us luck!

Ps/ I wont be able to write much these next 4 days unless I am at the house after spending time with my boyfriend(husband). I plan on having hubby report the activities of the week.

[Aynsley]

Tomorrow, I will be spending the next 4 days with Robert. I will visit hubby at my home a few times as the 3 of us will be switching roles where hubby acts like my FB and Robert acts like my husband.
I am excited, this should be so so much fun!!!

Mrs. Reese.
Is there anything you do, that bothers Mr. Reese ?
(i.e. - hang wet hose on the shower rod, leave the toothpaste top off,
or squeeze it from the middle).

I think it'd be very funny to see what day-to-day habits 'annoy' Robert;
being married (or living together) v. being a FB is quite a different situation...
...it would be interest to see you 'test' Robert a bit, and see how that
affects his 'passion'.

I think being a HW-Hubby provides a reminder, to not take our
HW for granted. I'll be curious to see if Robert has learned that lesson.

[aemn711]

I don't know how the rest of you feel but I think its time for Mr R to comment on their meeting with Robert and wife and whether he honestly feels he can finally trust Robert to only love and fuck Mrs R and not try to take her away or erode his position in the Marriage and also whether Mrs R in her quest to enjoy being naughty can observe the boundaries and still enjoy being a hotwife.

Secondly how does Mr R feel about having Mrs R live with Robert - honestly now, how does it feel.

One other impression is in my mind there is nothing Robert would like better than to have Mr R get involved more heavily with L so she can replace Mrs R in hubbys activity list. Cautionary note to Mr R becareful what you wish for with respect to L, you may be giving up something much more precious.

Best

Aemn

[Irwinhill]

Cautionary note to Mr R becareful what you wish for with respect to L, you may be giving up something much more precious.

Knowing what we know about Mr. Reese, I can't imagine that he wouldn't be aware of this tradeoff.

Nor do I think that there is any chance in the world that Robert could manipulate Mrs. Reese.

As I read the Reeses' improbable saga, throughout all of its twists and turns one fact remains constant: The Reeses are extremely aware of who they are and what they are doing, including the risks they are taking. If I had to bet, I would say that they are more aware than most spouses.

Does this mean that the Robert affair is risk-free? Of course not. I'm just believing that the Reeses fully understand the risks. If either or both suffered as a result of their game, I'd be shocked if they then would say: "We didn't know what we were doing."

[reese]

Good Morning everyone!

Aemn I feel comfortable with our discussion this past weekend. Robert was contrite and sincere in his conversation with us.
I can relate to him as he told me that he is a sophisticated man.....lawyer...respected in his inner circles...
But when he is in the presense of my wife....all rules are forgotten sometimes! He explained to me that he needs to have more self control, and that spending time with her is like an emotional roller coaster.
That "hit the nail on the head" for me! I feel the same way when I am with my wife!
I feel like being her husband and with Robert as her lover, we both share similiar feelings of euphoria.....intense sexuality and love..and at times WE lose all self-control. He assured me that he will respect our boundaries. Once our conversation was over, my wife told him that she has a surprise for him! That she was going to be his wife this week! WOW!!

She is with him now. Robert is working from home and is spending the day with her. She has texted me many times since last night, writing how she can't wait to fuck her boyfriend(me). Tonight, we will be spending some time together...she plans on coming home for a quickie before she spends the night with Robert. She asked that I cum in her so that Robert can feel the power of licking her pussy after she spent a moment with her lover(role reversal). This new experience is very exciting for me. Tomorrow I will have dinner with L. My wife wants that to happen. I am not so sure that I really want to bring her back into my life though! Too many wild moments and mood swings with my wife if L is around!

IH....thanks for your support and faith in us!
This adventure is already driving me crazy! I miss my wife a lot right now. I know that she is happy to be with Robert right now and it helps me cope when I receive text messages when she tells me how much she misses me too...and how horny she is for me!!

[Aynsley]

Mr. Reese.
Have Fun!!

Maybe you should ask Mrs. R. to meet you for a drink
(she will tell Robert that she's only going out for a bit),
and then surprise her, have dinner, get a room,
and send her back in the early morning hours,
long after when Robert has 'expected' her to return.

...keep him waiting and wondering
(maybe even make Mrs. R. promise not to call/text, either).

[BallSpanking]

Perhaps if Robert met L, he wouldn't be so demanding of Ms Reese's time..., and body...

[aemn711]

Dear Mr R,

How is this working for you?

Aemn

[reese]

Sorry about not responding. Busy week. Playing the boyfriend to my hotwife has been time consuming. I have missed her so much. I have had a lot of fun and moments of craziness....missing her laying in bed with me. Feeling her body rub up against me. Missing her is good though....it makes me want her more and appreciate her more. A few days ago, my wife came over as promised. She was all business. We didnt talk as husband and wife. SHe was very horny for me. We immediately embraced...and she dropped to her knees and sucked my cock. She told me that this is her ritual with her lover(she didnt mention robert). She told me that feeling slutty as she is a hotwife to her lovers turns her on the most. She stopped me before orgasm. She put her fingers in her pussy and inserted them into mymouth. Tasting her warm sweet juices...unbelievable!! We fucked soon afterward...telling me to fuck her...telling me that her husband would be so jealous as I fucked her..telling me that she is MY lover...and her husband has lost her to MY cock.. I didnt dare ask her if this is how she acts with Robert. I soon orgasmed...then she did..as she sat on top of my cock..she inserted her breasts/nipples in her mouth as she rode my cock to her orgasm. SHe is so damn sexy! Watching this WOMAN fuck me like she did...watching how horny she was....sitting back and taking in her moves..her flavor..her scent....SHE told me that she had to be back home for her husband. That she was going to suprise him with her pussy filled with MY cum. SHe couldnt wait to love her husband as she replied! We both were role playing..it was hot...and it was even more intense as she left me to our empty home.
More later.