Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[early-kink]

SSQ - I'm NOT the one doing the framing. I'm just an observer of what I've seen in real life. I really don't care what anybody does with their sex lives. I've been dead tired after working 12 to 14 hours in heavy construction, but if my wife wanted to play - I'd have found the energy. Just how often do you think men in general say to their lady, "Nope. Not tonight, honey. I'm tired." ??? Is it possible for a man to say "no" ? - sure. It's just very, very unlikely.

I disagree with your "gatekeepers" assertion. 99.9999% of the time - the woman has the final say. I guess we'll continue to disagree on that one. But I have no anger or ugly feelings here. We can disagree on something and not hate each other or start the childish name-calling that seems to be everywhere these days. No ill-will by me. I'll let this go, so the VHW's can answer other questions and comments.

I hope you have a really great day SSQ !! Thanks for all your contributions on here. Much appreciated!!

[wjp]

SSQ - I'm NOT the one doing the framing. I'm just an observer of what I've seen in real life. I really don't care what anybody does with their sex lives. I've been dead tired after working 12 to 14 hours in heavy construction, but if my wife wanted to play - I'd have found the energy. Just how often do you think men in general say to their lady, "Nope. Not tonight, honey. I'm tired." ??? Is it possible for a man to say "no" ? - sure. It's just very, very unlikely.
i worked oilfield never said too tired

[Farmgirl]

SSQ - I'm NOT the one doing the framing. I'm just an observer of what I've seen in real life. I really don't care what anybody does with their sex lives. I've been dead tired after working 12 to 14 hours in heavy construction, but if my wife wanted to play - I'd have found the energy. Just how often do you think men in general say to their lady, "Nope. Not tonight, honey. I'm tired." ??? Is it possible for a man to say "no" ? - sure. It's just very, very unlikely.
i worked oilfield never said too tired

Are you planning to get verified?

[trdd]

Hotwives, can you speak to the difference in your personal enjoyment of the sex between your husbands and lovers? If you have been married a long time and then take a new lover, how much does the NRE, taboo and eroticism enhance your sexual pleasure vs. Sex with your long term partner or husband?

Also, all else being equal (like skill in bed or size preferences etc) does the above set of factors,like NRE and taboo make the experience automatically better for you? Are your orgasms more intense?

[SSQ]

Hotwives, can you speak to the difference in your personal enjoyment of the sex between your husbands and lovers? If you have been married a long time and then take a new lover, how much does the NRE, taboo and eroticism enhance your sexual pleasure vs. Sex with your long term partner or husband?

Also, all else being equal (like skill in bed or size preferences etc) does the above set of factors,like NRE and taboo make the experience automatically better for you? Are your orgasms more intense?

Sex is different with everyone, for me. Then again, it's not like I enjoy a menu of Tab A into Slot B. I do different activities based on mutual enjoyment- there is nothing "reserved" for one partner or another.

NRE can enhance sex, but so can ERI (established relationship intimacy). Two sides of the same coin. NRE doesn't make bad sex good, if that's the case. And all things are never equal! Partners aren't interchangeable.

I enjoy the allure of novelty at times, but it's just yet another experience. It's not like it's super elevated just because it's new. It's one factor in enjoyment.

I enjoy sex with my husband. I enjoy sex with my boyfriend. If I have sex with a friend or casual acquaintance, hopefully I'd enjoy that too. I like sex

[HelloPeaches]

there is nothing "reserved" for one partner or another.

NRE can enhance sex, but so can ERI (established relationship intimacy). Two sides of the same coin. NRE doesn't make bad sex good, if that's the case. And all things are never equal! Partners aren't interchangeable.

I enjoy the allure of novelty at times, but it's just yet another experience. It's not like it's super elevated just because it's new. It's one factor in enjoyment.

I enjoy sex with my husband. I enjoy sex with my boyfriend. If I have sex with a friend or casual acquaintance, hopefully I'd enjoy that too. I like sex

This is very well stated! I could not have said it better.

[anonymister1948]

Why Am I Here?

I ask myself that all the time. What is it that attracts me to OWH? At first, it was curiosity. After reading a few very hot novels where hotwives were the main subject matter, I came here to see what “the people” thought about it. It was erotic and dangerous and filled with dark corners and scary happenings. What’s not to like about that?

Over the past year, something else happened. I realized there was absolutely no way I would ever be able to undertake this lifestyle. It simply doesn’t fit who I am sexually or even intellectually for that matter. Yet, every day, I log-on and read about my favorite people here. Why?

I think it’s because of all the people and all the bulletin boards/blogs/SubReddits I’ve been to (going back to pre-AOL days) the people at OHW are the most open, thoughtful group of folks I’ve ever encountered. The hotwives and their husbands bare their souls here and are always looking for ways to help others along the path, including warning them off if need be.

Before coming here and reading SSQ’s thread I didn’t really know what polyamory was. Her ethical pursuit of the poly lifestyle and straight from the hip advice hooked me and led me to read multiple sources of information after reading her thread. Thank you SusieQ!

When it comes to advising from the heart that you can count on, 2nUp enriches everyone’s life. I literally go to her profile and read her thoughtful responses to thread after thread, day after day, month after month. She’s indefatigable. I wonder where some folks here would be without her sage counsel. Thank you 2nUp!

And finally, to the men who write so eloquently about their brides or brides to be, you are the real heroes to me. The path you’ve chosen, many times opposite what you hoped for, simply to have your wives benefit from a strong healthy empowering sex life is inspiring. You never waver from your support, sometimes in the face of anguish that you hide, so your wives will be happy. What a gift you give. You are strong and powerful beyond words. Des31, Wildrollercoaster, iL2sw, RascalVillan, thank you for being the wonderful human beings you are.

So my question is really rhetorical. I know why I’m here. I’m here because even the oldest of you have the youngest hearts. I’m here because the values of love you profess day in and day out give me hope in mankind.

[2inUPMichigan]

Why Am I Here?

I ask myself that all the time. What is it that attracts me to OWH? At first, it was curiosity. After reading a few very hot novels where hotwives were the main subject matter, I came here to see what “the people” thought about it. It was erotic and dangerous and filled with dark corners and scary happenings. What’s not to like about that?

Over the past year, something else happened. I realized there was absolutely no way I would ever be able to undertake this lifestyle. It simply doesn’t fit who I am sexually or even intellectually for that matter. Yet, every day, I log-on and read about my favorite people here. Why?

I think it’s because of all the people and all the bulletin boards/blogs/SubReddits I’ve been to (going back to pre-AOL days) the people at OHW are the most open, thoughtful group of folks I’ve ever encountered. The hotwives and their husbands bare their souls here and are always looking for ways to help others along the path, including warning them off if need be.

Before coming here and reading SSQ’s thread I didn’t really know what polyamory was. Her ethical pursuit of the poly lifestyle and straight from the hip advice hooked me and led me to read multiple sources of information after reading her thread. Thank you SusieQ!

When it comes to advising from the heart that you can count on, 2nUp enriches everyone’s life. I literally go to her profile and read her thoughtful responses to thread after thread, day after day, month after month. She’s indefatigable. I wonder where some folks here would be without her sage counsel. Thank you 2nUp!

And finally, to the men who write so eloquently about their brides or brides to be, you are the real heroes to me. The path you’ve chosen, many times opposite what you hoped for, simply to have your wives benefit from a strong healthy empowering sex life is inspiring. You never waver from your support, sometimes in the face of anguish that you hide, so your wives will be happy. What a gift you give. You are strong and powerful beyond words. Des31, Wildrollercoaster, iL2sw, RascalVillan, thank you for being the wonderful human beings you are.

So my question is really rhetorical. I know why I’m here. I’m here because even the oldest of you have the youngest hearts. I’m here because the values of love you profess day in and day out give me hope in mankind.

Very sweet of you to say Thank you

[Des 31]

Hotwives, can you speak to the difference in your personal enjoyment of the sex between your husbands and lovers? If you have been married a long time and then take a new lover, how much does the NRE, taboo and eroticism enhance your sexual pleasure vs. Sex with your long term partner or husband?

Also, all else being equal (like skill in bed or size preferences etc) does the above set of factors,like NRE and taboo make the experience automatically better for you? Are your orgasms more intense?

I enjoy the allure of novelty at times, but it's just yet another experience. It's not like it's super elevated just because it's new. It's one factor in enjoyment. I enjoy sex with my husband. I enjoy sex with my boyfriend. If I have sex with a friend or casual acquaintance, hopefully I'd enjoy that too. I like sex

Sounds like what my wife would say.

[adamgunnauthor]

Hotwives, how long does the average guy go with you?

I know you won't have specific answers for me - at least I hope you're having way too much fun to set a stop watch, but . . .

So, how long does the average encounter go, from the time you first get together in a private place until one of you leaves?
Once you start coitus, how long does the average guy last with you before he comes?

Feel free to add any interesting information you think would add to this question.

I thank you in advance.

[SSQ]

Hotwives, how long does the average guy go with you?

I know you won't have specific answers for me - at least I hope you're having way too much fun to set a stop watch, but . . .

So, how long does the average encounter go, from the time you first get together in a private place until one of you leaves?
Once you start coitus, how long does the average guy last with you before he comes?

Feel free to add any interesting information you think would add to this question.

I thank you in advance.

I usually have sex for several hours, regardless of who I'm having it with. But why use when he comes as a metric? Sex shouldn't just be from the time a man has an erection until he comes; that's very male-centric.

[Farmgirl]

My average playtime is not over an hour with about 20 to 30 minutes actual fucking in various positions.
With my husband, I usually call it quits after 30 minutes or so. He usually stays with whatever position he starts with and he has staying power.

[Suchen Zucker]

My average playtime is not over an hour with about 20 to 30 minutes actual fucking in various positions.
With my husband, I usually call it quits after 30 minutes or so. He usually stays with whatever position he starts with and he has staying power.

Only a farm girl could describe having sex and make it sound like she was talking about her new Disc-Grinder.

[Farmgirl]

My average playtime is not over an hour with about 20 to 30 minutes actual fucking in various positions.
With my husband, I usually call it quits after 30 minutes or so. He usually stays with whatever position he starts with and he has staying power.

Only a farm girl could describe having sex and make it sound like she was talking about her new Disc-Grinder.

Hey, we did get a new disc grinder . And it's like my husband, push the right button and it really turns on and gets the job done!
Really, that's why I prefer my Number1 tell about my adventures.

[solstice]

Farmgirl writes:
Hey, we did get a new disc grinder.

May be handy round the farm, but you don't have any rough edges, It certainly would build up muscles on your right hand, practical for increasing your wanking stamina.

[solstice]

Farmgirl writes:
My average playtime is not over an hour,
Not having seen you, but nevertheless am won over with your sparkling personality, about an hour would be my limit if I were your No. one, but then he impresses me as having the patience of Job.

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl writes:
My average playtime is not over an hour,
Not having seen you, but nevertheless am won over with your sparkling personality, about an hour would be my limit if I were your No. one, but then he impresses me as having the patience of Job.

We should really take this over to my thread so as not to take up space here.

[coastalkid]

How critical are you of your body image? Was it something that was a concern to you privately when considering the lifestyle? Are you more sensitive about it now or more relaxed? Has being a hotwife made you more concerned about your attractiveness, enough so to change your habits? My wife has told me that she doesn't feel sexy. She points out all her flaws. It breaks my heart that she thinks this way and I told her so. Even before she had admitted this to me several years back I never missed an opportunity to tell her I was stealing glances at her titties or staring at her butt, or even more tenderly, that her hair looked nice before she went out. Unfortunately a husband's bias recuses me from bearing believable witness punctuated with a, "That's sweet! I love you to honey!" Do you VHW's feel like you're "sexy"? Did the confidence you gained being a hotwife help you put your self-perception in perspective? I'd love to give my wife the gift of her truly believing she is sexy! I think she is! I've had the time and opportunity to tell her in many different ways but I just haven't seen it in her. Is this an issue for any of you?

[2inUPMichigan]

How critical are you of your body image? Was it something that was a concern to you privately when considering the lifestyle? Are you more sensitive about it now or more relaxed? Has being a hotwife made you more concerned about your attractiveness, enough so to change your habits? My wife has told me that she doesn't feel sexy. She points out all her flaws. It breaks my heart that she thinks this way and I told her so. Even before she had admitted this to me several years back I never missed an opportunity to tell her I was stealing glances at her titties or staring at her butt, or even more tenderly, that her hair looked nice before she went out. Unfortunately a husband's bias recuses me from bearing believable witness punctuated with a, "That's sweet! I love you to honey!" Do you VHW's feel like you're "sexy"? Did the confidence you gained being a hotwife help you put your self-perception in perspective? I'd love to give my wife the gift of her truly believing she is sexy! I think she is! I've had the time and opportunity to tell her in many different ways but I just haven't seen it in her. Is this an issue for any of you?

Awesome question! And yes it was a consideration so much so that I lost about 10-15lbs before I would agree to establish a profile. I wasn't sure if men would be interested in me because I was "thick". I even googled how to take the best pictures for plus size women!

What has being a hotwife done for that picture in my head? Well it told me that there are men that really appreciate a woman with curves, so much so they can't keep their hands off them! I learned that men don't notice the "extra padding" in my stomach that I don't like because they are looking at different areas!

But most of all I learned that I am fine just the way that I am and if someone doesn't like me the way I am then their opinions don't matter much in the long run. When I plan what i am going to wear for a play date it is about what will make me feel sexy. If I feel sexy the man I am meeting will be turned on. I don't dress for them I dress for me.

[coastalkid]

....But most of all I learned that I am fine just the way that I am and if someone doesn't like me the way I am then their opinions don't matter much in the long run.

Thanks for your reply 2inUP! Both of us are retired teachers and thankful to be out from under that stressful environment. One of the odd dynamics in a school teaching staff is that there are always new teachers coming in and usually they are young vibrant people and they tend to get more attention than the veteran staff. In my wife's case she had example after example of attractive, young, skinny women right at the age to get married and start a family join her staff. They are a constant reminder that you're older and no where near as sexy as they seem to be! Whenever my wife makes a comment about them (which isn't often because she avoids it) I always tell her, "Sure they look good now. Let's see if they look as hot as you do when they are your age!" I'm realizing that my wife is missing her "sexy feeling" and I haven't been able to help her find it. I think a lot more possibilities could open up if she felt differently.

Thanks again 2inUP! I knew it was an important thing.

[36DDwife]

What has being a hotwife done for that picture in my head? Well it told me that there are men that really appreciate a woman with curves, so much so they can't keep their hands off them! I learned that men don't notice the "extra padding" in my stomach that I don't like because they are looking at different areas!

Agreed 100%. I’d venture a guess that 80% of men over 25 yrs old like women with curves. And if we can get women to stop being catty & critical of other women then a lot this negative self image stuff would fix itself.

[Liese]

How critical are you of your body image?

I was plagued by body image issues for years and years, and had to get over them to even really enjoy sex with my husband! It was a long slog, and all the verbal input from others did NOT help! No amount of "don't be silly, you're sexy as hell" or "I love you as you are" reassured me. Comments from others were not the problem, my issues had been installed by an ultra-religious, anti-woman, anti-sex upbringing, leaving me full of shame for what I was. And even though I knew intellectually that all that was nonsense before I left college, the anxiety and shame could still get triggered at any time that I felt sexual or desirable.

What helped me the most (besides a supportive husband who stopped trying to reassure me with words and just kept showing me that he desired me by his actions) was actually going to a vanilla, non-lifestyle nudist resort. How I agreed to do that I'm still not sure, but being there & seeing all kinds of adults all ages and ALL body types being absolutely comfortable and relaxed together, finally broke down some walls within me. A few more visits and I was very accepting of my body, and a lot of my old baggage melted away.

It was only then that I was able to move into this lifestyle, and that too involved going to some parties and seeing other women there who were comfortable with their body size and shape openly enjoying themselves, desiring and being desired by others. I quickly followed that example. I too found I don't need to focus on the people who don't desire me, I can ignore them and focus on the ones that do! In my old life, if 99 people praised me, and 1 criticized me, I'd focus on that one person's comments and let it ruin everything. Now all I need is hub's desire for me. But if I find a few folks at a party to play with, who desire me and make me feel like the sex goddess hub says I am, that's icing on the cake! It's so much better to leave that old mindset behind.

[magoo]

How critical are you of your body image?

Extremely. I was raised by a narcissistic mother who destroyed me every chance she got. I had issues with ED for years. I have been horrible, and hateful to myself, because she was, because my peers were, and I still can be. My husband has helped to heal me, helped me to heal myself, at my own pace, in a way that no amount of therapy could. I don't know if I am better or if I see myself more clearly but I have more better days now. I still struggle a lot with it and my own insecurity.

[magoo]

On hotwife and cucking porn I often see a position of a doggy style with the women over a pillow and pushed down on the back so that the ass is in the air and the back curved down lower.

Is this a position women find especially pleasurable?

NO. I give new partners a couple of rules with me: don't touch my hair, cum anywhere from the nose down, and do not do THAT to me. It literally is crippling and it applies pressure to the sacroiliac joints in the back and then I cannot stand up or walk. Handle with care.

[magoo]

I haven't read through all 50 pages so this may have been covered. I have a few questions that I've been wondering about.

What are your views on pantyhose?
What are your views on stockings?
Many women, my wife included don't like them...but when it comes to their lover...my wife will slip them on provided they are silky smooth. It's hard to find silky smooth and comfortable and not so expensive pantyhose/or stockings.

What brands of hose do you like or buy for your lovers?

Thank you for any who reply.

Fiore. Like the smoothest, finest silk, like nothing is even there and inexpensive.