"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

[xian2014]

I guess my posts mostly belong in the Cuckold forum, not Hotwifing. And most of them are these days because that's where we've evolved to.
But we DID start out with a hotwifing dynamic, where my wife and I had the fantasy and when it became a reality we continued as lovers. Until her lover wanted to be her exclusive lover. Then we were faced with a decision, and I discovered that I'd much rather my wife continue with her lover than to lose him altogether. And that being denied sex by my beautiful wife was so arousing.
I'm sure many hotwifing couples never face this situation, or if they did they might reject it. Just like when the wife and her lover fall in love with each other that's the end of it. But for us what has worked is the two of them falling in love and me being out of the picture sexually. My wife would never have gotten into this lifestyle to have sex with multiple partners; she only sleeps with someone she has feelings for. So her being lovers with this one man for 20 years now is who she is. We get along as great as we always have. Yeah, it was my fantasy to begin with, but she has found great happiness in how it has played out. And so have I. And I am happy for her lover too. Everybody seems to have gotten what they most wanted.

You stated that she only sleeps with someone she has feelings for, then why havent you not stepped a side so she can be with the person she truly loves and who she truly wants to be with, what I read is that your in the way of their happiest if she is exclusive and only with him and loves him why havent you moved out and moved on because that is what you have essentially done, Im not trying to be difficult or give you a hard time, but I cant help but read that you have taken your marriage as far as it could go and you let your wife go but for some reason havent taken the final step. I get and actually see why it would be a turn on to watch our wife with another man having sex, but that is as far as I see the arousal throwing some spice liven up the sex life, but to give away your wife and to be reduced to nothing but a mere after thought like a friend who you see occasionally, no, thats like a person breaking up with someone but the other just cant let go so they stalk, do drive bys, ask all the friends, hoping to run into them to say hello, looking for anything a glimpse of hope that they will take them back, but it never happens. I do understand that its your life and Im sorry if I offend you Im not trying to but for me finding love and someone to share a life with is hard and precious and would never just give it away not without a fight.

[early-kink]

SailorGuy -
I've read your posts in various threads. I can identify with the "organic" nature of your involvement in hotwifing - and on to living as a cuckold. I've posted before about the "life" being thrust onto me by a then-girlfriend cheating on me. We had been a couple for a while and she told me she'd like to continue dating other guys "on the side" while we remained a steady couple. This after my initial anger over her cheating had dissipated. Her dating "on the side" became a source of incredible sexual excitement for me - and her. She LOVED to come home and tell me every detail and how much she enjoyed herself with the other guy. Then WE would go crazy on each other because we were both so sexually charged up over the story!

If a married couple has a strong, loving marriage, I can see why some ladies would want to have a "FWB" as an element of "NEW" to her life - some added variety. I truly think all women love NEW romance. Look at the tens of millions of paperback romance novels sold to ladies. They aren't about "same old Henry" !! They're about younger, sexy, handsome guys who court and bed the ladies in the stories - so it's no stretch to think real ladies wouldn't love the same thing in their lives. It doesn't mean they don't love their husbands - or that they want to cut them off from all sex - it just means they want and need variety in their men. Ladies LOVE NEW ……………. Shoes, jewelry, clothes, cars, houses, color of paint on the walls, home décor, restaurants, etc. So should we men expect that they wouldn't love going out on dates with other guys that they find attractive for some new fun and sexy excitement???

I think more ladies are seeking this as the number of dating / hook-up sites grows. More and more ladies are advertising as "Married - but looking", or "Married, dating, Hubby approves." Resorts and cruises cater to the "dating" crowd too. I think a growing number of ladies are going after what they want and not feeling like 2nd class citizens anymore. Men have "gotten some on the side" for centuries, and these days the ladies aren't so afraid to speak up and go after what they want. Not broadcasting their activities to everyone, but still playing and dating outside marital "norms."

[stevens4fun]

Alan’s experience has been similar to mine in many ways. And like some guys here have mentioned, a few guys my wife was looking at as potential longer term lovers just couldn’t get past me knowing about and being enthusiastic about her need for additional sex.

When we got together, I was 42 and she was 31. I’d had a vasectomy. Both of us had been involved in threesomes and liked mmf style fun. She shared with me before we decided to marry that she might be a bad marriage partner as she would need to have sex with other guys from time to time. That was her history. We’d already discovered she needed a little help from her Hitachi to have an orgasm with me, and that she thought she could love two guys at once. Like many women, my wife is much more likely to have orgasms with guys she has feelings for – guys who are fun when she’s with them, fun in bed. Race is of no concern although her best orgasms were with her African American lover that she saw roughly once a month, for an all-nighter. This wasn’t the stereotypical scenario (according to her, he was well built, thick and made her feel “fuller” than I do – that contributed to her frequent orgasms with him) – she had feelings for him and loved being in bed with him. This went on for about 15 years. I was never in bed with the two of them.

Great woman that she is, my wife fully understood my need to enjoy seconds with her, to sometimes see her making love to another guy, - in orgasm with a lover, and she had sex with other guys from time to time. Two co-workers in particular. It wasn’t a weekly think, - work schedules do intervene! And one time she spent two weeks traveling internationally and domestically with her supervisor. Having her own hotel room, but staying with him in his room every night. Her needs dovetailed with mine, although there’s been many times when a lover had just finished inside her and she spread her legs for me to enter her or clean her, - but she was just making sure I was getting what I needed and would enthusiastically respond to me. Fucking a woman still in her post-orgasmic glow, lover's cum still in her, warm and leaking out of her vagina tops any experience I ever had. She gave me that!

We’ve aged out of the game now, although my wife still occasionally trades a sexy image or two with a really young guy in another part of the state, but I’m resigned to it never happening. Still, we often bring up and talk about the fun we had, and my wife shared with me that she needed the pregnancy risk as well as the orgasms. While I thought my vasectomy would free her of worry, it proved to be a detriment in some ways, taking away some of the eroticism for her. We both laugh at this now! We’ve been married a long time, and there’s no secrets about what either of us liked or wanted. :-)

[early-kink]

^^^^^^^ Pretty impressive marriage, I'd say. If your wife wanted and needed more sex with other guys - and you understood / supported her getting what she needed - I'd say that's a very good deal for both of you!! She also took care of your needs, and you were comfortable with her having boyfriends. AND you two stayed in love and maintained your marriage. Bravo!!! Best wishes to both of you.

[xian2014]

SailorGuy -
I've read your posts in various threads. I can identify with the "organic" nature of your involvement in hotwifing - and on to living as a cuckold. I've posted before about the "life" being thrust onto me by a then-girlfriend cheating on me. We had been a couple for a while and she told me she'd like to continue dating other guys "on the side" while we remained a steady couple. This after my initial anger over her cheating had dissipated. Her dating "on the side" became a source of incredible sexual excitement for me - and her. She LOVED to come home and tell me every detail and how much she enjoyed herself with the other guy. Then WE would go crazy on each other because we were both so sexually charged up over the story!

If a married couple has a strong, loving marriage, I can see why some ladies would want to have a "FWB" as an element of "NEW" to her life - some added variety. I truly think all women love NEW romance. Look at the tens of millions of paperback romance novels sold to ladies. They aren't about "same old Henry" !! They're about younger, sexy, handsome guys who court and bed the ladies in the stories - so it's no stretch to think real ladies wouldn't love the same thing in their lives. It doesn't mean they don't love their husbands - or that they want to cut them off from all sex - it just means they want and need variety in their men. Ladies LOVE NEW ……………. Shoes, jewelry, clothes, cars, houses, color of paint on the walls, home décor, restaurants, etc. So should we men expect that they wouldn't love going out on dates with other guys that they find attractive for some new fun and sexy excitement???

I think more ladies are seeking this as the number of dating / hook-up sites grows. More and more ladies are advertising as "Married - but looking", or "Married, dating, Hubby approves." Resorts and cruises cater to the "dating" crowd too. I think a growing number of ladies are going after what they want and not feeling like 2nd class citizens anymore. Men have "gotten some on the side" for centuries, and these days the ladies aren't so afraid to speak up and go after what they want. Not broadcasting their activities to everyone, but still playing and dating outside marital "norms."

What if it was flipped and YOU enjoyed NEW and wanted more lovers, would she extend the same to YOU as have to her? you see to have full love and understanding there has to be an EQUAL partner not one who will sacrifice, everyone likes new, everyone likes variety, everyone likes new romance this is not a cornered market and only women enjoy the different and new experiences. I always read this is for the women, they deserve it, we should just let them do it, last I looked there were 2 people in a relationship and I believe both people should have the same opportunities. The way I see it if I got off on watching my wife be with other men, then that is what I would say I find it hot as hell and get turned on, but where I get lost is when people say that women are the only ones that get bored, or are the only ones that would like to have sex with someone different, that women are the ones that deserve to be happy, that women are the only ones that would like to have a steady on the side, then I dont understand because men have desires and lust just as much as women and I would even go as far as say they have more, according to statistics men cheat more then women and women are more loyal. My hat is off to ever can live this lifestyle and be happy but the more I read the more I see it as a one way street and maybe thats how this kink is supposed to be, but I read it as a selfish and self serving lifestyle were only one person gets to enjoy life and be free while the other stays stagnant and waves from afar.

[SailorGuy]

It's a question of what people want. I wanted my wife to have another lover; I did NOT want another lover for me. That is the allure. That is the unique nature of hotwifing and/or cuckolding. We still have the great friendship and love for each other we've always had. we trust each other and are comfortable living together. We've raised three children together. And I had this powerful fantasy wish long ago. I shared it with my trusted partner. If we weren't so close, so trusting of each other, I may have kept it a secret. Or she may have rejected it. Or left me because of it. But she accepted it - as a fantasy - at least partly because I was so sincere about it. She didn't go out and look to make anything happen; we just let it be there. It was my fantasy, yes, but on some deeper level it appealed to my wife too. She is very conservative, a devoted mother and career woman. She has a huge heart.
And so when the neighbor "hit" on her when I was away it was very much an "organic" thing for her. She was well aware of my wish; she knew she had a green light if anything ever came up; she knew and trusted this man, and her heart went out to him since his wife had left him. And she was just astonished by the whole thing happening as it did. Her mind said "what is happening here", while her heart - and something deeper and wilder - said "go for it!".
As I said she has always been very conservative, a quiet straight-A student in high school and college. And now here she was, letting go, getting "wild" for the first time in her life.
In real life she would avoid a man like the neighbor I think. At least so far as dating and anything more involved. When she married me she had chosen a "nice" and "handsome" and "friendly" guy, a guy with a decent career established, etc. What's not to like? A respectable choice, and our wedding reflected it. Traditional, fancy church, the works. And yet I had this fantasy! ( God knows where THAT comes from, but it is as real as the day is long. )
So she took this man to bed, and she discovered a whole new world, a world of a truly masculine well-hung very physical lover who did things to her she'd never imagined. And I as her devoted husband was absolutely thrilled by this. And still am all these years later.
Amazingly all three of us have what we really want: I am married to a goddess who has given me a great life together and has fulfilled my deepest fantasy wish; my wife has the comfort and security of a devoted "nice guy" husband and best friend AND a lover who has taken her to places she'd never even knew existed; and her lover gets my wife as his lover, a woman of HIS dreams, without any trappings. His divorce was pretty awful, and though he loves my wife deeply they will never marry or even live together. I am thrilled for their love and love life together. I am completely satisfied sexually masturbating to her great inspiration. There is no "routine sex" in our lives, even after 30 years of marriage. She has lights-out fantastic sex with her lover; I have lights-out fantastic orgasms masturbating thinking about her. I LOVE being cuckolded by her; she loves cuckolding me. And her lover? He very obviously loves the whole thing too. All of us are honest and happy, now for over 20 years in this dynamic. Lucky us!

[early-kink]

SailorGuy -
A pretty incredible marriage you two have. It must feel great to have such a loving, sexy - albeit unconventional - marriage and have the bond you & your wife do. I'd love to just witness such a marriage arrangement!!! It would be enlightening to see the chemistry between the 3 of you. Cheers!!!

[xian2014]

Sailorguy, Like I said my hats off to whoever can make this lifestyle work and I am happy for you, but I would never live as a roommate nor would I live in a sexless marriage if my wife no longer wanted me sexually then that is the time I would walk just because you live in a hotwife or cuckold marriage does not mean you have to live a sexless life with your wife, but like I said were all different.

[Parsifal]

A man gets to the point in a marriage that he feels his wife is getting bored. It no longer feels right because she loses interest. He fantasizes about her being a hot woman. Deep down he'd rather be the source of her eroticism, but the light is either out or dim. So he imagines her in situations with other men who turn her on because he would rather imagine her that way than see her as the cold fish she's becoming for him. He communicates his fantasy and she resists it at first because of the danger that kind of change poses, but the with enough prodding she tries it out and generally likes it because she's hot for the first time in many years. The husband likes the restored libido in his now hotwife and he would rather the half a loaf and live with the unsetling humiliation that the woman he loves needs it elsewhere to get jazzed for him than ditch her and start the serial monogamy farce yet again.

[marriedman50]

A man gets to the point in a marriage that he feels his wife is getting bored. It no longer feels right because she loses interest. He fantasizes about her being a hot woman. Deep down he'd rather be the source of her eroticism, but the light is either out or dim. So he imagines her in situations with other men who turn her on because he would rather imagine her that way than see her as the cold fish she's becoming for him. He communicates his fantasy and she resists it at first because of the danger that kind of change poses, but the with enough prodding she tries it out and generally likes it because she's hot for the first time in many years. The husband likes the restored libido in his now hotwife and he would rather the half a loaf and live with the unsetling humiliation that the woman he loves needs it elsewhere to get jazzed for him than ditch her and start the serial monogamy farce yet again.

Exactly. Although for me, watching her being pleasured and living out her sexuality with another man is definitely a big attraction. Basically I want her to lose all her sexual inhibitions and allow herself to be the kind of free sexual spirit I know she was in her younger years. And I'm quite happy with another man being the one who restores her libido, as long as I can be part of the experience ideally by watching them or from her recounting every detail, no holds barred. I wouldn't want her to try to conceal any part of the experience or downplay how exciting it was - at the same time she might feel reluctant to let go if I were present, so maybe filming them would be the best strategy to begin with. Unfortunately my wife's libido is rapidly dwindling, and my attempts to suggest she has a lover haven't been successful - I think she would need someone to seduce her to get her in the right mindset.

[early-kink]

^^^^^^ What Parsifal and Marriedman50 said also applies to me somewhat. It's a horrible, empty feeling when your wife (who you love) isn't interested in you anymore. Whether it's from menopause or just being with you for so many years (however many that is) that she's bored with you sexually. Or maybe just bored with you overall. Seeing her get her libido restored and perked up is worth the angst and abandoned feeling if another guy resuscitates her desires. It's a hope that if your wife "comes alive" again, she'll also be hungry for you - the husband - again. Her sometimes being with a "FWB" might seem a tolerable price to pay for sex with your wife again.

In my life experience around many women and couples of all ages - I've seen the ladies get LOTS MORE jazzed up over attention from other guys - than guys get jazzed up over attention from other women. I think - from what I've seen and heard - that the ladies need "new" more than men do. Guys (myself included) seem to be comfortable with the same woman after a while, more so than women stay comfortable with the same guy. For whatever reasons, women just seem to relish "new" - and I'm not trying to paint ALL women with that same brush!! But generally speaking - that seems to be the case. As I said in the 2nd post at the top of THIS page, ladies just seem to love "new" anything ……………. clothes, shoes, etc. (see 2nd post above) So I don't think it's far-fetched to imagine the ladies getting revved-up and excited about seeing/dating/playing with - a new guy. Too many forum posts here and on other forums, and articles about relationships, confirm women get happier, perkier, re-energized, and "come alive again" after they start seeing other new guys. Even husbands love the change in their wives!! From everyday life to bedroom life with their wives, husbands largely say it's been a plus for their wives to have a FWB !!! Surprising and shocking to me (at first!) as I read more and more on the subject over about 10 to 15 years. Now - I kind of understand the ladies' reactions and appetites for "new guys." Some ladies who've "lost" their libidos get them re-ignited and raging again by having a "boyfriend" on the side!!

[Jjhw311ohw]

^^^^^^ What Parsifal and Marriedman50 said also applies to me somewhat. It's a horrible, empty feeling when your wife (who you love) isn't interested in you anymore. Whether it's from menopause or just being with you for so many years (however many that is) that she's bored with you sexually. Or maybe just bored with you overall. Seeing her get her libido restored and perked up is worth the angst and abandoned feeling if another guy resuscitates her desires. It's a hope that if your wife "comes alive" again, she'll also be hungry for you - the husband - again. Her sometimes being with a "FWB" might seem a tolerable price to pay for sex with your wife again.

In my life experience around many women and couples of all ages - I've seen the ladies get LOTS MORE jazzed up over attention from other guys - than guys get jazzed up over attention from other women. I think - from what I've seen and heard - that the ladies need "new" more than men do. Guys (myself included) seem to be comfortable with the same woman after a while, more so than women stay comfortable with the same guy. For whatever reasons, women just seem to relish "new" - and I'm not trying to paint ALL women with that same brush!! But generally speaking - that seems to be the case. As I said in the 2nd post at the top of THIS page, ladies just seem to love "new" anything ……………. clothes, shoes, etc. (see 2nd post above) So I don't think it's far-fetched to imagine the ladies getting revved-up and excited about seeing/dating/playing with - a new guy. Too many forum posts here and on other forums, and articles about relationships, confirm women get happier, perkier, re-energized, and "come alive again" after they start seeing other new guys. Even husbands love the change in their wives!! From everyday life to bedroom life with their wives, husbands largely say it's been a plus for their wives to have a FWB !!! Surprising and shocking to me (at first!) as I read more and more on the subject over about 10 to 15 years. Now - I kind of understand the ladies' reactions and appetites for "new guys." Some ladies who've "lost" their libidos get them re-ignited and raging again by having a "boyfriend" on the side!!

While my wife is not yet a HW, only in discussion/fantasy mode, everything you say here lines up I think with how I got to the point of wanting her to do this and how she lacks what she called the “fresh and new” we had 15 years ago. Thank you for nailing it Early-Kink. I think this is the most practical explanation of why we want our wives to sleep with other men.

[stevens4fun]

I wonder if this is the longest running thread in the forum? :-))) Like Sailorguy, I didn't really want other women, although my wife got us into a couple of "swinging" situations where I got to experience another woman and my wife watched. She wanted to watch me fuck another woman and found a couple where the wife was older (late 40s - we were in our 30s). This was a one-off, and my wife admitted feeling a tinge of jealousy when I was cumming inside the other woman while her husband jacked off (with my wife's help). I thought: "HA!." :-))) All in fun, though. After I'd spent myself in this beautiful woman, her husband lovingly "cleaned" her - this was the first time I'd ever seen this done although I'd always enjoyed giving my wife oral when she came home from a "date" or a hot "allnighter."

My wife has been consistent in her response when I ask her (several times over the years) what it was that she liked most about a "NEW" lover as opposed to a steady lover. It's a dynamic I never considered as a younger man, but now understand. "I love knowing I have a guy so turned on and that I can make him lose control any time I want and make him cum where and when I want." Wow.

One of our hottest moments (wife and I) came when we were both about 35. We were naked in our bedroom, standing up and kissing as she told me about the sex she'd just had with her lover in his parent's guest bedroom. He was divorced and lived with his parents. My wife was his sole source of sex. As she revealed details, she let her dress drop to the floor and whispered in my ear (as her tongue went in): "by the way, I stopped my birth control pills last month." She fell back on the bed, with me on top of her and we had intense and hot sex while whispering about the implications of a pregnancy.

Traveling with her boss was a different situation. The boss was a bit older and his wife was handicapped - she did not want to or could not have sex any more. My wife became the boss's wife in terms of sex and emotionally - the boss was in her more than I was. It was about their emotional and physical bond.

He was a bit older, and made my wife feel very good in bed and in general. He was a bit uncomfortable about me knowing, but he knew that I knew and like others have mentioned in our little forum, never got comfortable with how I as a husband could be supportive. Sometimes when he called my wife at our house, I'd answer and we'd have an awkward discussion with me totally turned on and him trying to avoid discussing what it was all about. My wife acknowledged many times that during that period, she had the best of all worlds. We all got what we needed. When they traveled, they stayed in the finest hotels and when not traveling used local hotels (that the company paid for!). "Silky seconds" was a fairly comment event for me as well as the joys of giving oral to her to add one more orgasm for her before she drifted off to sleep.

[early-kink]

^^^^^^ What Parsifal and Marriedman50 said also applies to me somewhat. It's a horrible, empty feeling when your wife (who you love) isn't interested in you anymore. Whether it's from menopause or just being with you for so many years (however many that is) that she's bored with you sexually. Or maybe just bored with you overall. Seeing her get her libido restored and perked up is worth the angst and abandoned feeling if another guy resuscitates her desires. It's a hope that if your wife "comes alive" again, she'll also be hungry for you - the husband - again. Her sometimes being with a "FWB" might seem a tolerable price to pay for sex with your wife again.

In my life experience around many women and couples of all ages - I've seen the ladies get LOTS MORE jazzed up over attention from other guys - than guys get jazzed up over attention from other women. I think - from what I've seen and heard - that the ladies need "new" more than men do. Guys (myself included) seem to be comfortable with the same woman after a while, more so than women stay comfortable with the same guy. For whatever reasons, women just seem to relish "new" - and I'm not trying to paint ALL women with that same brush!! But generally speaking - that seems to be the case. As I said in the 2nd post at the top of THIS page, ladies just seem to love "new" anything ……………. clothes, shoes, etc. (see 2nd post above) So I don't think it's far-fetched to imagine the ladies getting revved-up and excited about seeing/dating/playing with - a new guy. Too many forum posts here and on other forums, and articles about relationships, confirm women get happier, perkier, re-energized, and "come alive again" after they start seeing other new guys. Even husbands love the change in their wives!! From everyday life to bedroom life with their wives, husbands largely say it's been a plus for their wives to have a FWB !!! Surprising and shocking to me (at first!) as I read more and more on the subject over about 10 to 15 years. Now - I kind of understand the ladies' reactions and appetites for "new guys." Some ladies who've "lost" their libidos get them re-ignited and raging again by having a "boyfriend" on the side!!

While my wife is not yet a HW, only in discussion/fantasy mode, everything you say here lines up I think with how I got to the point of wanting her to do this and how she lacks what she called the “fresh and new” we had 15 years ago. Thank you for nailing it Early-Kink. I think this is the most practical explanation of why we want our wives to sleep with other men.

Mine is not a hotwife either, actually. I don't know if it'll ever happen - but the feelings and observations I posted above are real.

It's disheartening to have your wife lose interest in you sexually. We still enjoy each other sexually, but it's more rare and If I don't initiate things - nothing happens. I can make her go off multiple times, but even then, she doesn't "come looking for more" on other days. I really think our wives get bored with us - tired of us. If you take them somewhere like a party or any group festivity and a guy or several guys pay them attention - they get all giddy, perked up, and in a great mood. Once you get home - it all wears off and you're back to blaaaah. I watch women at weddings - when they get all dolled up for going to a wedding, their personality changes. They get all lovey-dovey and clingy, holding your hand, sitting really close, etc. And when it comes time to dance, they'll get out there and shake it with other guys like they were 20 again. Around home, they'd never hold your hand, sit really close, and act all lovey-dovey. Women become different around anything "NEW." It's like they've had an injection of "happy juice" !!

My observations are over some years, and whether they realize it or not, women act differently around anything "NEW." A wedding, a party, a high school or college reunion, a group picnic, or just a get-together with several other couples. That's why I believe many wives would be "re-awakened" by going on dates with new guys. It may not be the answer for everyone, but from the many articles and posts I've read over some years, a lot of husbands are happy their wives started having a FWB. If the husbands say their wives are much happier, their marital sex is much hotter & more frequent, and everyday life is better with their wives - there must be something to the wives needing some "NEW."

[36DDwife]

^^^^^^ What Parsifal and Marriedman50 said also applies to me somewhat. It's a horrible, empty feeling when your wife (who you love) isn't interested in you anymore. Whether it's from menopause or just being with you for so many years (however many that is) that she's bored with you sexually. Or maybe just bored with you overall. Seeing her get her libido restored and perked up is worth the angst and abandoned feeling if another guy resuscitates her desires. It's a hope that if your wife "comes alive" again, she'll also be hungry for you - the husband - again. Her sometimes being with a "FWB" might seem a tolerable price to pay for sex with your wife again.

In my life experience around many women and couples of all ages - I've seen the ladies get LOTS MORE jazzed up over attention from other guys - than guys get jazzed up over attention from other women. I think - from what I've seen and heard - that the ladies need "new" more than men do. Guys (myself included) seem to be comfortable with the same woman after a while, more so than women stay comfortable with the same guy. For whatever reasons, women just seem to relish "new" - and I'm not trying to paint ALL women with that same brush!! But generally speaking - that seems to be the case. As I said in the 2nd post at the top of THIS page, ladies just seem to love "new" anything ……………. clothes, shoes, etc. (see 2nd post above) So I don't think it's far-fetched to imagine the ladies getting revved-up and excited about seeing/dating/playing with - a new guy. Too many forum posts here and on other forums, and articles about relationships, confirm women get happier, perkier, re-energized, and "come alive again" after they start seeing other new guys. Even husbands love the change in their wives!! From everyday life to bedroom life with their wives, husbands largely say it's been a plus for their wives to have a FWB !!! Surprising and shocking to me (at first!) as I read more and more on the subject over about 10 to 15 years. Now - I kind of understand the ladies' reactions and appetites for "new guys." Some ladies who've "lost" their libidos get them re-ignited and raging again by having a "boyfriend" on the side!!

While my wife is not yet a HW, only in discussion/fantasy mode, everything you say here lines up I think with how I got to the point of wanting her to do this and how she lacks what she called the “fresh and new” we had 15 years ago. Thank you for nailing it Early-Kink. I think this is the most practical explanation of why we want our wives to sleep with other men.

Mine is not a hotwife either, actually. I don't know if it'll ever happen - but the feelings and observations I posted above are real.

It's disheartening to have your wife lose interest in you sexually. We still enjoy each other sexually, but it's more rare and If I don't initiate things - nothing happens. I can make her go off multiple times, but even then, she doesn't "come looking for more" on other days. I really think our wives get bored with us - tired of us. If you take them somewhere like a party or any group festivity and a guy or several guys pay them attention - they get all giddy, perked up, and in a great mood. Once you get home - it all wears off and you're back to blaaaah. I watch women at weddings - when they get all dolled up for going to a wedding, their personality changes. They get all lovey-dovey and clingy, holding your hand, sitting really close, etc. And when it comes time to dance, they'll get out there and shake it with other guys like they were 20 again. Around home, they'd never hold your hand, sit really close, and act all lovey-dovey. Women become different around anything "NEW." It's like they've had an injection of "happy juice" !!

My observations are over some years, and whether they realize it or not, women act differently around anything "NEW." A wedding, a party, a high school or college reunion, a group picnic, or just a get-together with several other couples. That's why I believe many wives would be "re-awakened" by going on dates with new guys. It may not be the answer for everyone, but from the many articles and posts I've read over some years, a lot of husbands are happy their wives started having a FWB. If the husbands say their wives are much happier, their marital sex is much hotter & more frequent, and everyday life is better with their wives - there must be something to the wives needing some "NEW."

I can relate to this. My wife is not an official HW yet but we are dang close. Once she decided she wanted to give it a try and I took her shopping for lingerie, stripper shoes, got her hair did, etc....her tone changed from “I guess we can try it” with a flat monotone voice to “Do you think if I wear this with no bra it’ll help show off my tits?” with a shit eating grin!

She even said she was gonna sunbathe nude in the backyard this weekend to get tan for our summer vacation .......we don’t have a fence.

[early-kink]

^^^^^^ What Parsifal and Marriedman50 said also applies to me somewhat. It's a horrible, empty feeling when your wife (who you love) isn't interested in you anymore. Whether it's from menopause or just being with you for so many years (however many that is) that she's bored with you sexually. Or maybe just bored with you overall. Seeing her get her libido restored and perked up is worth the angst and abandoned feeling if another guy resuscitates her desires. It's a hope that if your wife "comes alive" again, she'll also be hungry for you - the husband - again. Her sometimes being with a "FWB" might seem a tolerable price to pay for sex with your wife again.

In my life experience around many women and couples of all ages - I've seen the ladies get LOTS MORE jazzed up over attention from other guys - than guys get jazzed up over attention from other women. I think - from what I've seen and heard - that the ladies need "new" more than men do. Guys (myself included) seem to be comfortable with the same woman after a while, more so than women stay comfortable with the same guy. For whatever reasons, women just seem to relish "new" - and I'm not trying to paint ALL women with that same brush!! But generally speaking - that seems to be the case. As I said in the 2nd post at the top of THIS page, ladies just seem to love "new" anything ……………. clothes, shoes, etc. (see 2nd post above) So I don't think it's far-fetched to imagine the ladies getting revved-up and excited about seeing/dating/playing with - a new guy. Too many forum posts here and on other forums, and articles about relationships, confirm women get happier, perkier, re-energized, and "come alive again" after they start seeing other new guys. Even husbands love the change in their wives!! From everyday life to bedroom life with their wives, husbands largely say it's been a plus for their wives to have a FWB !!! Surprising and shocking to me (at first!) as I read more and more on the subject over about 10 to 15 years. Now - I kind of understand the ladies' reactions and appetites for "new guys." Some ladies who've "lost" their libidos get them re-ignited and raging again by having a "boyfriend" on the side!!

While my wife is not yet a HW, only in discussion/fantasy mode, everything you say here lines up I think with how I got to the point of wanting her to do this and how she lacks what she called the “fresh and new” we had 15 years ago. Thank you for nailing it Early-Kink. I think this is the most practical explanation of why we want our wives to sleep with other men.

Mine is not a hotwife either, actually. I don't know if it'll ever happen - but the feelings and observations I posted above are real.

It's disheartening to have your wife lose interest in you sexually. We still enjoy each other sexually, but it's more rare and If I don't initiate things - nothing happens. I can make her go off multiple times, but even then, she doesn't "come looking for more" on other days. I really think our wives get bored with us - tired of us. If you take them somewhere like a party or any group festivity and a guy or several guys pay them attention - they get all giddy, perked up, and in a great mood. Once you get home - it all wears off and you're back to blaaaah. I watch women at weddings - when they get all dolled up for going to a wedding, their personality changes. They get all lovey-dovey and clingy, holding your hand, sitting really close, etc. And when it comes time to dance, they'll get out there and shake it with other guys like they were 20 again. Around home, they'd never hold your hand, sit really close, and act all lovey-dovey. Women become different around anything "NEW." It's like they've had an injection of "happy juice" !!

My observations are over some years, and whether they realize it or not, women act differently around anything "NEW." A wedding, a party, a high school or college reunion, a group picnic, or just a get-together with several other couples. That's why I believe many wives would be "re-awakened" by going on dates with new guys. It may not be the answer for everyone, but from the many articles and posts I've read over some years, a lot of husbands are happy their wives started having a FWB. If the husbands say their wives are much happier, their marital sex is much hotter & more frequent, and everyday life is better with their wives - there must be something to the wives needing some "NEW."

I can relate to this. My wife is not an official HW yet but we are dang close. Once she decided she wanted to give it a try and I took her shopping for lingerie, stripper shoes, got her hair did, etc....her tone changed from “I guess we can try it” with a flat monotone voice to “Do you think if I wear this with no bra it’ll help show off my tits?” with a shit eating grin!

She even said she was gonna sunbathe nude in the backyard this weekend to get tan for our summer vacation .......we don’t have a fence.

Wow !!! That's a pretty big switch. Is she hyped-up for extra fun?? Are YOU ready for her to have extra fun "on the side" ???

[36DDwife]

While my wife is not yet a HW, only in discussion/fantasy mode, everything you say here lines up I think with how I got to the point of wanting her to do this and how she lacks what she called the “fresh and new” we had 15 years ago. Thank you for nailing it Early-Kink. I think this is the most practical explanation of why we want our wives to sleep with other men.

Mine is not a hotwife either, actually. I don't know if it'll ever happen - but the feelings and observations I posted above are real.

It's disheartening to have your wife lose interest in you sexually. We still enjoy each other sexually, but it's more rare and If I don't initiate things - nothing happens. I can make her go off multiple times, but even then, she doesn't "come looking for more" on other days. I really think our wives get bored with us - tired of us. If you take them somewhere like a party or any group festivity and a guy or several guys pay them attention - they get all giddy, perked up, and in a great mood. Once you get home - it all wears off and you're back to blaaaah. I watch women at weddings - when they get all dolled up for going to a wedding, their personality changes. They get all lovey-dovey and clingy, holding your hand, sitting really close, etc. And when it comes time to dance, they'll get out there and shake it with other guys like they were 20 again. Around home, they'd never hold your hand, sit really close, and act all lovey-dovey. Women become different around anything "NEW." It's like they've had an injection of "happy juice" !!

My observations are over some years, and whether they realize it or not, women act differently around anything "NEW." A wedding, a party, a high school or college reunion, a group picnic, or just a get-together with several other couples. That's why I believe many wives would be "re-awakened" by going on dates with new guys. It may not be the answer for everyone, but from the many articles and posts I've read over some years, a lot of husbands are happy their wives started having a FWB. If the husbands say their wives are much happier, their marital sex is much hotter & more frequent, and everyday life is better with their wives - there must be something to the wives needing some "NEW."

I can relate to this. My wife is not an official HW yet but we are dang close. Once she decided she wanted to give it a try and I took her shopping for lingerie, stripper shoes, got her hair did, etc....her tone changed from “I guess we can try it” with a flat monotone voice to “Do you think if I wear this with no bra it’ll help show off my tits?” with a shit eating grin!

She even said she was gonna sunbathe nude in the backyard this weekend to get tan for our summer vacation .......we don’t have a fence.

Wow !!! That's a pretty big switch. Is she hyped-up for extra fun?? Are YOU ready for her to have extra fun "on the side" ???

Hyped up? Meh maybe. She doesn’t get all exited about too many things unless there’s a shoe/clothes/purse sale involved. But I did call her at work this morning & told her I might have a fuck date lined up for tomorrow night. She said “Ok sounds good. And BTW there were a couple of hot guys at the gym this morning while I was working out”. Really?!? “Yep but they didn’t notice me I don’t think because I wasn’t dressed sluttily enough” Did you try to flirt? “Nah, picking up guys like that is too much effort. Why don’t we just find them online that way they know we are there to fuck”

And yes I’ve been ready. Can’t wait to watch those DD titties bounce while she rides another cock.

[early-kink]

Well ……………. all-righty then !!!! Have fun!

[bull2you]

I am happy there are men who want to share their wives and gf. More for me!

[LuvMyFitWife]

I’d want my wife to sleep with other men because I’d like her to experience extended fucking sessions with younger guys. Our sex life is awesome but Ive never lasted more than a few minutes inside of her. I make up for it with world class pussy licking but she’s never had a good long fuck session and I think she’d love it.

[54321]

My observations are over some years, and whether they realize it or not, women act differently around anything "NEW." A wedding, a party, a high school or college reunion, a group picnic, or just a get-together with several other couples. That's why I believe many wives would be "re-awakened" by going on dates with new guys. It may not be the answer for everyone, but from the many articles and posts I've read over some years, a lot of husbands are happy their wives started having a FWB. If the husbands say their wives are much happier, their marital sex is much hotter & more frequent, and everyday life is better with their wives - there must be something to the wives needing some "NEW."

Early-kink makes some great points. We only have to look at male and female behaviour for our answers. Yes, women are excited by newness and variety and men are excited by competition. (These are both generalisations. There will always be exceptions of course, but you get the idea ).

In a swinging situation, women get their fix of newness and variety and men are able to compete for new and different women, but competing for the one most significant woman in the world has got to be way more intense. Looking at swinger polls I note that male swingers are often far more excited by the activities of their wives than by their own new conquests, thrilling though those conquests may be. Also, I note that many of the personal stories on sites such as 'Swingersboard' are actually hotwife stories.

[early-kink]

My observations are over some years, and whether they realize it or not, women act differently around anything "NEW." A wedding, a party, a high school or college reunion, a group picnic, or just a get-together with several other couples. That's why I believe many wives would be "re-awakened" by going on dates with new guys. It may not be the answer for everyone, but from the many articles and posts I've read over some years, a lot of husbands are happy their wives started having a FWB. If the husbands say their wives are much happier, their marital sex is much hotter & more frequent, and everyday life is better with their wives - there must be something to the wives needing some "NEW."

Early-kink makes some great points. We only have to look at male and female behaviour for our answers. Yes, women are excited by newness and variety and men are excited by competition. (These are both generalisations. There will always be exceptions of course, but you get the idea ).

In a swinging situation, women get their fix of newness and variety and men are able to compete for new and different women, but competing for the one most significant woman in the world has got to be way more intense. Looking at swinger polls I note that male swingers are often far more excited by the activities of their wives than by their own new conquests, thrilling though those conquests may be. Also, I note that many of the personal stories on sites such as 'Swingersboard' are actually hotwife stories.

Having experienced the HGF thing years ago with a then-girlfriend - I can say that I had no desire to chase other girls. But I sure got hyper-charged at her going on dates with other guys!! We were "steadies" for a while, and I think that connection we had super-charged the agony / jealousy / angst / lust and eroticism of her dating other guys. So I can relate to what 54321 is saying above. I truly believe there has to be a real connection between the married couple or long-term BF/GF for being a hotwife or a HGF to bring the real hyper-lust into that arrangement. No love /connection - not much hyper-lust.

I've watched women of various ages get all flirty when new guys are around. They do the "hair-flip" thing, bite their lips, put a finger in their mouths, lick their lips a lot, tilt their head in when talking to a guy, etc. They even walk differently - more straight up with chest out to accentuate their boobs, and a bit more sway in their tush's. I think the ladies just like being noticed, seeing if other guys are attracted to them, playing the flirt game, and feeling like they can reel in a new guy and "land him." They love being the center of attention. Watch the hackles of jealousy come up when one girl gets more attention than they get. I've even heard nasty comments directed at the one woman who's getting the bulk of the male attention. That tells you all you need to know about what the ladies REALLY like! They want the attention of "NEW" !! A new guy !! That doesn't make them bad, or whores, or sluts ……………. it just means they love male attention from NEW guys. They love to feel sexy, special, and desirable to someone other than their husband or long-term BF. To know they "still have it."

Gotta love our ladies …………………. sexual creatures that they are!!!

[uvs]

My observations are over some years, and whether they realize it or not, women act differently around anything "NEW." A wedding, a party, a high school or college reunion, a group picnic, or just a get-together with several other couples. That's why I believe many wives would be "re-awakened" by going on dates with new guys. It may not be the answer for everyone, but from the many articles and posts I've read over some years, a lot of husbands are happy their wives started having a FWB. If the husbands say their wives are much happier, their marital sex is much hotter & more frequent, and everyday life is better with their wives - there must be something to the wives needing some "NEW."

Early-kink makes some great points. We only have to look at male and female behaviour for our answers. Yes, women are excited by newness and variety and men are excited by competition. (These are both generalisations. There will always be exceptions of course, but you get the idea ).

In a swinging situation, women get their fix of newness and variety and men are able to compete for new and different women, but competing for the one most significant woman in the world has got to be way more intense. Looking at swinger polls I note that male swingers are often far more excited by the activities of their wives than by their own new conquests, thrilling though those conquests may be. Also, I note that many of the personal stories on sites such as 'Swingersboard' are actually hotwife stories.

Having experienced the HGF thing years ago with a then-girlfriend - I can say that I had no desire to chase other girls. But I sure got hyper-charged at her going on dates with other guys!! We were "steadies" for a while, and I think that connection we had super-charged the agony / jealousy / angst / lust and eroticism of her dating other guys. So I can relate to what 54321 is saying above. I truly believe there has to be a real connection between the married couple or long-term BF/GF for being a hotwife or a HGF to bring the real hyper-lust into that arrangement. No love /connection - not much hyper-lust.

I've watched women of various ages get all flirty when new guys are around. They do the "hair-flip" thing, bite their lips, put a finger in their mouths, lick their lips a lot, tilt their head in when talking to a guy, etc. They even walk differently - more straight up with chest out to accentuate their boobs, and a bit more sway in their tush's. I think the ladies just like being noticed, seeing if other guys are attracted to them, playing the flirt game, and feeling like they can reel in a new guy and "land him." They love being the center of attention. Watch the hackles of jealousy come up when one girl gets more attention than they get. I've even heard nasty comments directed at the one woman who's getting the bulk of the male attention. That tells you all you need to know about what the ladies REALLY like! They want the attention of "NEW" !! A new guy !! That doesn't make them bad, or whores, or sluts ……………. it just means they love male attention from NEW guys. They love to feel sexy, special, and desirable to someone other than their husband or long-term BF. To know they "still have it."

Gotta love our ladies …………………. sexual creatures that they are!!!

I can so relate to this. My wife is very slowly coming round to the HW idea and is very nervous about what could happen. But if you hear her talking about a colleague who dared to flirt with her favourite man at work...it's so possessive that it's like she's been having sex with him for months

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum uvs.

[uvs]

Welcome to the forum uvs.

Thanks armyguyot1. When my "our story" is approved for posting by the mods, it should be a bit more of an introduction for all