solstice wrote: ↑Sat May 30, 2020 5:05 am
Is there another side to this debate? Would you say that a person can be indoctrinated (is this too strong a word) to extract the feminine side of his nature, I often feel there is a conspiracy between a few of the boyfriend and the wife to encourage or indoctrinate cuckold tendencies in the husband.
Many of the husband wishing for MFM relationships can end up with a cockcage and little or no sex. of course I'm not saying this is is the norm.
I came online to update the last few days but came across your question.
I doubt I’m qualified to answer that. I’m no psychologist but thinking through your question, I can offer an opinion from experience. Some respondents here have written their frustrations that I don’t tell much about what drives me; so I’ll get around to that in response to your question. When it comes to work and personal interaction with others, I’m probably what most would consider to be a moderate alpha. My father taught me public speaking skills and how to understand and deal with others as individuals; he called it “reading” people. I’m not just a writer; I’m a pretty good salesman and that isn’t be a desirable occupation for people with submissive personalities. I’m what others in the business of sales refer to as a “professional salesman,” one of my few worthwhile abilities.
I had a problem with that website’s inclusion of “a need to be dominant” as one indicator of what
RascalVixen called above as
alphaism (which I thought to be a great creative term). To the contrary in my experience, men who enjoy dominating others come across to me as fake-alphas. I think arrogance and bullying are covers for feelings of inferiority that fool few people. I’m usually the most normal person in most gatherings and have found that’s an important trait when influencing, selling or leading others.
But here’s the kicker related to your question: When my wife began fucking other men, I discovered another side to my personality. I had sexual experience before marriage and it seemed to me women considered me as possessing the typical alpha characteristics. I don’t come across that way either when another dick is inside her or when she is telling me about her extramarital activities. At times I have observed other guys fucking her, my knees are wobbly and sometimes I'm even gasping for breath. I’m putty in her hands.
But I set my limitations in that way. I couldn’t put up with denial, wearing a cock cage; or, as she has asked of me on a couple of occasions, can’t bring myself to suck her fuckbuddies’ dicks. Even more abominable for my mental composition, I couldn’t bring myself to crawl around on the floor for some dominant man or woman.
In many ways, my wife is a moderately alpha female. Although she was never trained for that, she has leadership skills and good communications ability. That may have become evident to readers here from my writings. I’m reasonably sure I’m affected by her mannerisms, and that often results in our having to settle disagreements on issues through marital negotiations. She has an unusual ability for influencing and convincing men to her positions, and not necessarily because of her physical attributes. That side of her personality sometimes places me in an humbled position when it comes to her sexual activities, particularly when she’s weaving stories of her extramarital relationships.
From those experiences, I can understand how many men could be led into submissive cuckoldry by wives with dominant personalities. Some of that cuckold feeling probably comes about in most of us hotwife husbands when our wives who being fucked by even more alpha men like her boss. I’m often overwhelmed by a host of emotions during those times of her excitation. So perhaps you can see why I understand the behaviors of submissive personalities, but that isn’t me.
Many here at OHW refer to themselves “sissy” cuckolds or similar terms. So, to answer your question of my opinion, I think it’s likely many men can be led by their wives in submissive cuckoldry. Yet, it seems to me that most men with intuitive feelings of inferiority are more likely the ones who encourage cuckoldry, not their wives.
I can’t look down on men with those proclivities. We’re all different, and most men won’t understand my desire for this lifestyle either. I suppose all in our one-sided open marriages could be considered cuckolds, but hotwife relationships are different in many ways from the classic understanding of a cuck. As the fortunate husband of a smoking hot hotwife, my mental processes are in a separate category.
Sidebar: Beau’s parents stayed overnight with us Frida night and left for home early this afternoon. I’ll get around to the happenings of the last few days next week.
~ Des