Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[2inUPMichigan]

My inquiry mind would like to know how much bigger should Bull or other male be than the husband.
Like if hubby is 4 1/2" how much to keep it from getting out of control.
SexyWife prefers 5"-7" definitely under 7 1/2"

He should be the perfect size for her (and have the skills to best know to use what he has)

There is no way to definitively answer that question as we are all very individual and unique.

[LuvMyFitWife]

How do you assure your wife’s safety when she gets together with a man away from home? I know you should carefully screen them and meet them in person, but I’d always be wondering if she was safe, even if she texted or called when she arrived. This must have been asked somewhere else but I’m a relative newbie and haven’t seen it addressed.

[LuvMyFitWife]

Second question in a relatively short period.

Before your husband first brought up the idea of hotwifing, did you sense that he might have that inclination? Women seem more emotionally intelligent than men, and can often figure out what makes us tick before we know it or admit to it. Those of us with that bent must have some ‘tell’ that an intelligent woman can figure out.

[2inUPMichigan]

How do you assure your wife’s safety when she gets together with a man away from home? I know you should carefully screen them and meet them in person, but I’d always be wondering if she was safe, even if she texted or called when she arrived. This must have been asked somewhere else but I’m a relative newbie and haven’t seen it addressed.

I am a very cautious person and ultimately my husband trusts my judgment. We have an agreement that I always meet someone new in a public place that has a lot of security - a casino
He knows that they will be on camera at all times when we are in public and I can relax and get to know them a bit and decide if I am interested in moving into a more private setting.

I am never far away from my cell phone, make sure to check the hotel room carefully and verify as best I can if there are any recording devices. If I have any doubts then I would have no problem leaving.

I always stress that a first meeting is with no expectations of playing and if something happens then it is a bonus.

If I couldn't take care of my safety then I would not be meeting anyone. I screen heavily and eliminate most of the men that contact me.

[hwsassysouth]

Second question in a relatively short period.

Before your husband first brought up the idea of hotwifing, did you sense that he might have that inclination? Women seem more emotionally intelligent than men, and can often figure out what makes us tick before we know it or admit to it. Those of us with that bent must have some ‘tell’ that an intelligent woman can figure out.

Nope, I had no foreshadowed clues; I was totally blown away when he brought it up.

[Farmgirl]

My inquiry mind would like to know how much bigger should Bull or other male be than the husband.
Like if hubby is 4 1/2" how much to keep it from getting out of control.
SexyWife prefers 5"-7" definitely under 7 1/2"

Why would the other guy need to be bigger than the husband? Bigger doesn't make better, in fact, it can be worse. As for getting out of control, I'm not sure how it would get out of control.

[bull2you]

Just want to say that you HWs who patiently answer questions. You are doing a fantastic job

[LuvMyFitWife]

A question for any HWs who are post menopausal ( if there are any ): Did your sex drive take a big dip after hitting menopause? My wife is 59 and still hasn’t hit menopause but if she hasn’t done the HW thing before menopause is it that much less likely to happen after she does because of reduced sexual drive?

[Farmgirl]

A question for any HWs who are post menopausal ( if there are any ): Did your sex drive take a big dip after hitting menopause? My wife is 59 and still hasn’t hit menopause but if she hasn’t done the HW thing before menopause is it that much less likely to happen after she does because of reduced sexual drive?

There are a lot of us that are post-menopausal. LOL
It affects women differently. For me, my sexual desire increased! I will soon be 64 and I don't see me slowing down anytime soon. I love being a hotwife and have a few FWB.

[LuvMyFitWife]

A question for any HWs who are post menopausal ( if there are any ): Did your sex drive take a big dip after hitting menopause? My wife is 59 and still hasn’t hit menopause but if she hasn’t done the HW thing before menopause is it that much less likely to happen after she does because of reduced sexual drive?

There are a lot of us that are post-menopausal. LOL
It affects women differently. For me, my sexual desire increased! I will soon be 64 and I don't see me slowing down anytime soon. I love being a hotwife and have a few FWB.

Thanks Farmgirl, that is very good news indeed, and gives me hope. Women amaze me at every age. Being 50, 60 plus and doing what pleases you sexually defies the limits people would put on you, and that is awesome.

[2inUPMichigan]

A question for any HWs who are post menopausal ( if there are any ): Did your sex drive take a big dip after hitting menopause? My wife is 59 and still hasn’t hit menopause but if she hasn’t done the HW thing before menopause is it that much less likely to happen after she does because of reduced sexual drive?

I am in that group and can tell you that my sex drive increased for sure once I hit menopause
For me it was a matter of finally finding a balance after the hormonal roller coaster I had been on that did it.

I had already "hit menopause" as you put it before becoming a hotwife. Oh yeah, and I am 55

Some women sail through with little to no change in sex drive, others have an decrease and then there are some that have an increase. I say I hit the menopause jackpot!!

[Randomguy90245]

Wife might be throwing hints, HELP
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Post Fri Jul 03, 2020 10:44 pm

My wife and I are both 35 and have been together since we were 18. We’ve only ever been with each other. I told her about my stag/hot wife fantasy several years ago and at first she was intrigued, then pissed, then hurt, then eventually was okay with the fact that it’s MY fantasy and said she has no interest in it. Over the years she said her taste in men has changed. She is now more attracted to black men. (She’s black, 5’8, 130lbs, very pretty) And I’m Mediterranean.
Over the course of the last few months she’s said she’s curious about what sex would be like with a black man. Not just in terms of size (but she’s made big references to that) but also how they would move together and the connection of both being black. She also said she’s “heard great things about uncircumcised penises” (I’m circ’d).

Today though, IDK if she was just teasing or what but we were in on a seven hour car ride and she was making euphemisms and references to having a black guy in her.
First it started with me eating a honey drenched pastry. In the past I’ve told her she tastes like honey. So she asked “what’s better me or that pastry.” I said “this pastry is good, but you taste better”. She said “I don’t trust your taste buds...might need an independent second opinion”. I said, well, too bad for you that the stereotype is that black men don’t do that. She said she could find one. Then I said, well...by the time you have any time to yourself, you’ll probably be menopausal (we have young kids) She said “the youngest goes to school next year and you work long hours. I’m sure I can find someone. So you still wanna do that open relationship??”
I said “it’s prob the only way either of us could go on a date since we don’t go out on dates with each other (young kids, no family support, don’t trust baby sitters).

She got quiet.

A few minutes later we were talking about food. Then she said she doesn’t like hotdogs. I made a penis joke...and said “well you don’t like roast beef either (referring to going lesbian). I said, well I hear snake is a good Red meat alternative. She said got the reference and said she can go for an anaconda. And kept saying how it’s big, and filling, thick, so on and so forth. Then she said “in case you don’t get it, I’m talking about a black cock inside me”. I said , well you probably wouldn’t be able to even fit it in your mouth. She said she doesn’t need it in her mouth.

I got a little quiet and said, you probably couldn’t even handle a big dick. (I’m about 6 3/4, average thickness). She said “I bet I can. I said “bet”. That’s the last thing we said.

Idk if she’s toying with me or doing a check to see if I’m still game.

HELP?!?!

[Liese]

A question for any HWs who are post menopausal ( if there are any ): Did your sex drive take a big dip after hitting menopause? My wife is 59 and still hasn’t hit menopause but if she hasn’t done the HW thing before menopause is it that much less likely to happen after she does because of reduced sexual drive?

I welcomed becoming post-menopausal with open arms. My desire didn't dip much; to me it gave me more days of the month to play.

I did have to make some adjustments, particularly in the area of vaginal dryness and making sure vaginal atrophy didn't get a foothold. My doc put me on topical estrogen creams (too old for the pills) and the cream worked wonders. I still get quite wet when appropriate and no significant soreness after vigorous play. My desire is still up there, if not quite burning as brightly as it once did. Of course I learned long ago to not wait until I was aroused to have sex; having sex could reliably get me aroused. So it wasn't a great issue. I'm now 62 and still having sex 2-3 x a week with hubby. We last played with others back in January of this year, before the whole covid mess. Prior to that I managed to have my fun with others every month or two.

[Farmgirl]

Wife might be throwing hints, HELP
Edit Delete Report Quote
Post Fri Jul 03, 2020 10:44 pm

My wife and I are both 35 and have been together since we were 18. We’ve only ever been with each other. I told her about my stag/hot wife fantasy several years ago and at first she was intrigued, then pissed, then hurt, then eventually was okay with the fact that it’s MY fantasy and said she has no interest in it. Over the years she said her taste in men has changed. She is now more attracted to black men. (She’s black, 5’8, 130lbs, very pretty) And I’m Mediterranean.
Over the course of the last few months she’s said she’s curious about what sex would be like with a black man. Not just in terms of size (but she’s made big references to that) but also how they would move together and the connection of both being black. She also said she’s “heard great things about uncircumcised penises” (I’m circ’d).

Today though, IDK if she was just teasing or what but we were in on a seven hour car ride and she was making euphemisms and references to having a black guy in her.
First it started with me eating a honey drenched pastry. In the past I’ve told her she tastes like honey. So she asked “what’s better me or that pastry.” I said “this pastry is good, but you taste better”. She said “I don’t trust your taste buds...might need an independent second opinion”. I said, well, too bad for you that the stereotype is that black men don’t do that. She said she could find one. Then I said, well...by the time you have any time to yourself, you’ll probably be menopausal (we have young kids) She said “the youngest goes to school next year and you work long hours. I’m sure I can find someone. So you still wanna do that open relationship??”
I said “it’s prob the only way either of us could go on a date since we don’t go out on dates with each other (young kids, no family support, don’t trust baby sitters).

She got quiet.

A few minutes later we were talking about food. Then she said she doesn’t like hotdogs. I made a penis joke...and said “well you don’t like roast beef either (referring to going lesbian). I said, well I hear snake is a good Red meat alternative. She said got the reference and said she can go for an anaconda. And kept saying how it’s big, and filling, thick, so on and so forth. Then she said “in case you don’t get it, I’m talking about a black cock inside me”. I said , well you probably wouldn’t be able to even fit it in your mouth. She said she doesn’t need it in her mouth.

I got a little quiet and said, you probably couldn’t even handle a big dick. (I’m about 6 3/4, average thickness). She said “I bet I can. I said “bet”. That’s the last thing we said.

Idk if she’s toying with me or doing a check to see if I’m still game.

HELP?!?!

I would say that she is teasing in a good way. Does she want to take it further? Are you ready for her to take it further?
I'm a big fan of open honest communication with husbands and wives talking to each other. It's time to talk, and not in the bedroom and not with alcohol.

[Cherrypie69]

Best resources for beginners?

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Cherrypie69.

[Farmgirl]

Best resources for beginners?

This site where you can talk to real hotwife husbands and VHWs who are living this lifestyle.

[feetuji]

QUESTION: I am a wannabe cuck, and my wife very down to earth, but I try small steps with her. Sometimes, in rare ocasions, she will make small things that I enjoy, like when she played with her feet on the feet of a mutual male friend. It was exciting to see her in the jacuzi relaxing and her feet touching on him! She is very shy and doenst enjoy speaking to much about sex or other stuff, so my question is: should I motivate her when she makes such things or should I shut up? Imean, should I tell her that Ienjoyed seeing her touching with her feet on our friend, or should I give her space? The feet case is just an example to explain this question, since it was a year ago I will not speak with her about that, my strategy in that ocasion was to no speak, but I would like to read your opinion about future situations where she may play with other guys like this. Thanks!

[early-kink]

Best resources for beginners?

This site where you can talk to real hotwife husbands and VHWs who are living this lifestyle.

Great resources for beginners? Listen to Farmgirl, 2inUPMichigan, Liese, and the other verified hotwives here on the forum. (They are in bright blue letters ). Have your wife or GF get verified per the instructions in the "verified" thread. Then she can talk to real, actual hotwives woman to woman.

I'm a guy - but I've been reading these ladies for some time and they're great with info! Had to give them their due kudos.

[Kate88]

Hi, my name is Louise. I live in the uk with my husband Alex. He's also on this website. I realise this thread is very much for wannabe guys, and so I will also post thisas a separate thread. Let me emphasise that I am an EX-hotwife, who's had many wonderful experiences but I've now got it out of my system and have settled down with my lovely husband. We hope to start a family soon.

I discovered I enjoyed sex with multiple partners, both male and female, and I'm really interested in comparing experiences with other hotwives, such as who took a regular bull, who took multiple partners, sex parties etc. What did you enjoy? What didn't you enjoy? How is your relationship with your husband now? From a few conversations with wives who've taken a lover with their husbands' approval, it does seem there are often very strict limits to what some will do, and that complete liberation ie doing what's in the moment that excites us, just isn't the norm for even experienced hotwives.

LouiseQ

Hey, I have a regular boyfriend. There's a lot that we enjoy doing together but some challenges too, like my husband was a bit anxious about me spending a weekend with my boyfriend, or whether we use condoms every time. I don't know if we fully got past those worries. I'm not sure what strict limits you refer to, maybe some which seem obvious to me? Generally I rarely had any problem enjoying sex with my boyfriend but we don't do something crazy.

[uvs]

Dear Ladies

It’d be really helpful if you could give me some advice on the best way forward with my potential hotwife. I did post my story elsewhere, but it’s so long that I apologise to any who fell asleep reading it - no wonder there were no replies! I’ll try and keep it shorter.

We’ve been together 12 years, I’m 46, she’s 41. She’s gorgeous but conservative/shy sexually so our sex life while good is pretty conventional. She is however flirty in company and I noticed a few years ago how much it turned me on when other guys were attracted to her. A couple of years ago I told her this and she was surprised but would play along when she was travelling for work, but very innocently such as if a guy bought her a drink.

About six months ago she started mentioning someone from work who she thought was attractive and started to play along to my fantasy a bit more, such as openly flirting in front of me. It was for both our benefit – she loves the attention I shower her with when she’s like this. I finally asked her directly if she would ever consider sleeping with the guy from work, and she said absolutely not – but then asked me what I thought, and I told her she should. She didn’t respond verbally but she had an excited look in her eyes. She was due to attend a couple of conferences with this guy and when I asked her if she was going to get up to anything she replied “who knows?” and winked at me. The conferences never happened due to corona.

Last week she went off on a company workshop and I suggested she confide my kink to her closest colleague, which she did, and her friend said it was cool. When her friend asked her if she’d do it she replied "maybe“. When she came home we had a great weekend of sex and she admitted that it would be exciting to sleep with another guy, but only the right type in terms of looks and personality – she’s very particular what she wants. And she said this sort of thing would have to be baby steps. Then she told me that “you’d love to reclaim me wouldn’t you” – which is just not the sort of thing she’d normally say. Another time when I was sliding into her I asked if she could imagine another man’s cock instead. She replied that no, because it’s been so many years – but what did I think. Naturally I told her I could more than imagine it.

On paper I think there is definite progress. But I’m also aware that she’s very smart and loving and could well be playing along to the role as she knows how happy and horny it makes me, and how that is then returned to her with greater love and attention. She is never the one to raise the subject and details only come out when I ask her about it. Her answers tend to be very non committal such as "maybe" or "we'll see"

So my question is do you think that she’s just playing a role for me, or are there at least signs of promise? And what would be the best way forward? I don’t want to turn into the guy constantly questioning her, it’d be great if these details came straight from her, but I do want to keep the momentum going as our marriage is so improved by HW, even if it’s just roleplay.

Many thanks in advance for your help.

[LouiseQ]

I think it probably is both. She realises that her exploits excite you and you then have great sex. It does seem to me - judging by what you say - that, should the right opportunity occur with the right guy - she may well take advantage of the situation. In my case. my husband found my first boyfriend for me. He knew the kind of man I might just be tempted by and I was, and did! Roleplay is one of the oldest and most reliable routes into the HW lifestyle. I think if you get her to imagine it's a different guy inside her while you take her from behind, it's easier for her to imagine it happening in reality. You need to get her to be explicit about the sort of guy who would turn her on.

[Whosbeensleeping]

Louise, my question to you is: are you willing to have your identity as a woman verified by armyguyot, and if not, why not?

[2inUPMichigan]

Please remember this thread is not a regular discussion thread.
This is a question and answer thread to be answered by VHW'S only. (Think of it like an advice column)

Any comments by anyone else can (and have in the past) been removed at the discretion of the admins and moderators. Feel free to respond however to the VHW'S that answered your question

All VHW'S can be identified by their bright blue names (well except for me)
Any hotwives wishing to become verified can find the information here:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=53838

[feetuji]

QUESTION: I am a wannabe cuck, and my wife very down to earth, but I try small steps with her. Sometimes, in rare ocasions, she will make small things that I enjoy, like when she played with her feet on the feet of a mutual male friend. It was exciting to see her in the jacuzi relaxing and her feet touching on him! She is very shy and doenst enjoy speaking to much about sex or other stuff, so my question is: should I motivate her when she makes such things or should I shut up? Imean, should I tell her that Ienjoyed seeing her touching with her feet on our friend, or should I give her space? The feet case is just an example to explain this question, since it was a year ago I will not speak with her about that, my strategy in that ocasion was to no speak, but I would like to read your opinion about future situations where she may play with other guys like this. Thanks!

I hope you girls dont mind bumping my question.