Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

Heading to a Halloween party tomorrow.

SW begged out of it, as her niece comes into town also tomorrow for an extended stay with us. She suggested I invite Mr. B in her place, so that's what I did and he's confirmed.

I'm thinking the host of of the party will be disappointed at this last-minute replacement.

He prefers the pretty blondes. I fully understand.

[interested123]

hot story sounds like she is heating up.

is mfm on table with mr s once she had met him a few times?
reason i ask is i enjoy seeing my wife in person and all that goes with that

[tojanman]

Go to the party with Mr B and then send to your place to keep her company, once she finishes with the nieces birthday, because you want to keep the party going at your friends place

[slenderfish]

hot story sounds like she is heating up.

is mfm on table with mr s once she had met him a few times?
reason i ask is i enjoy seeing my wife in person and all that goes with that

She now knows in no uncertain terms that MFM is what I'd like to try as soon as she is ready and able. She organized with Mr. S that it is a "hall pass" situation, so it would take some effort to morph into something that could become MFM with him.

I suggested to her that once she is done with Mr. S (she is saying it may be soon if he doesn't pick up his game) then she should start with the next guy more of an up-front concept that if he wants to be with her, the deal is a MFM with her husband.

But for now we are where we are, essentially just started out.

[whenwillshe]

Just started out but so very hot.
This scenario is a dream and she is incredible!
Thanks so much for sharing

[slenderfish]

Go to the party with Mr B and then send to your place to keep her company, once she finishes with the nieces birthday, because you want to keep the party going at your friends place

Once again, I like how you think. But not feasible.

- Niece arrives today (in 30 min) to live with us permanently. Getting her room ready now.

- The Halloween party is about an hour drive from here, and Mr. B is picking me up. He will arrive half hour early for cocktail with me, SW and niece.

All in good fun!

[afagehi7]

How old is the niece? Are you going to be playing dad now?

SW should certainly reward you.

[slenderfish]

How old is the niece? Are you going to be playing dad now?

SW should certainly reward you.

Niece is 22 yrs. She lived with us summer of 2019 for summer internship. SW wants her to develop a life and career here, and date.

[afagehi7]

How old is the niece? Are you going to be playing dad now?

SW should certainly reward you.

Niece is 22 yrs. She lived with us summer of 2019 for summer internship. SW wants her to develop a life and career here, and date.

Well you won't have to play dad but you will have to retreat to the man cave once a month or be murdered in your sleep. Hahahaha.

No doubt this will impact hotwifing action as well as other activities. At 22; she'll probably move out within 1-2 years or sooner if it doesn't work out. Not everyone wants to leave their home base... especially those who are born bred and raised in the same area. They all say they want out but go back. It's like her rumspringa and time will tell if she'll go back.

[whenwillshe]

The niece certainly changes the dynamic in the home and adds a bit of intrigue if SW starts to take on hometown help.

[slenderfish]

How old is the niece? Are you going to be playing dad now?

SW should certainly reward you.

Niece is 22 yrs. She lived with us summer of 2019 for summer internship. SW wants her to develop a life and career here, and date.

Well you won't have to play dad but you will have to retreat to the man cave once a month or be murdered in your sleep. Hahahaha.

No doubt this will impact hotwifing action as well as other activities. At 22; she'll probably move out within 1-2 years or sooner if it doesn't work out. Not everyone wants to leave their home base... especially those who are born bred and raised in the same area. They all say they want out but go back. It's like her rumspringa and time will tell if she'll go back.

Yes, all true. It'll be nice to have the niece around. She's charming and witty and since SW and I have no children together, this is SW's chance to dote on the next closest thing.

The niece is here until she gets her legs under her financially. It's kind of like a kid who came back from college (she did graduate from Univ this past May), as a transition until she can get her job/career started, car and transportation settled, and then get her own place with a roommate or similar. Luckily in this case, she already has her job.

Also luckily we have a sufficiently spacious house that there is room to be in our own places from time to time. Her room is far away from the master bedroom.

Of course this does impact any hotwifing in the area where we live. But SW still prefers the concept of playing away from home. I figure that somewhere around the time SW decides to get a more local guy, she will start dropping hints about the niece getting her own place and becoming more independent.

SW has broached this same subject several times. Said if she has a local guy, they will then certainly have to go to a hotel or something, and that we will tell niece that SW has a "girls' night" or "girls' trip" etc.

[Tryn]

How was the Halloween party? Wondering if your wife dressed in a sexy costume and if there was anything between her and Mr. B.

[afagehi7]

How old is the niece? Are you going to be playing dad now?

SW should certainly reward you.

Niece is 22 yrs. She lived with us summer of 2019 for summer internship. SW wants her to develop a life and career here, and date.

Well you won't have to play dad but you will have to retreat to the man cave once a month or be murdered in your sleep. Hahahaha.

No doubt this will impact hotwifing action as well as other activities. At 22; she'll probably move out within 1-2 years or sooner if it doesn't work out. Not everyone wants to leave their home base... especially those who are born bred and raised in the same area. They all say they want out but go back. It's like her rumspringa and time will tell if she'll go back.

Yes, all true. It'll be nice to have the niece around. She's charming and witty and since SW and I have no children together, this is SW's chance to dote on the next closest thing.

The niece is here until she gets her legs under her financially. It's kind of like a kid who came back from college (she did graduate from Univ this past May), as a transition until she can get her job/career started, car and transportation settled, and then get her own place with a roommate or similar. Luckily in this case, she already has her job.

Also luckily we have a sufficiently spacious house that there is room to be in our own places from time to time. Her room is far away from the master bedroom.

Of course this does impact any hotwifing in the area where we live. But SW still prefers the concept of playing away from home. I figure that somewhere around the time SW decides to get a more local guy, she will start dropping hints about the niece getting her own place and becoming more independent.

SW has broached this same subject several times. Said if she has a local guy, they will then certainly have to go to a hotel or something, and that we will tell niece that SW has a "girls' night" or "girls' trip" etc.

Girls night...that means she isn't planning on you attending the hot wife festivities. A freudian slip perhaps?

[slenderfish]

Girls night...that means she isn't planning on you attending the hot wife festivities. A freudian slip perhaps?

This is yet another reminder that I still want to find a way to move the hotwife activities from SW going it alone. This is obvious still her mindset.

Present strategy continues to be that she finds rewards in it, sufficient to desire to continue, and at the same time to bifurcate her assumption that emotions and feelings are needed for her to become physical with a man (kind of her process has always been to date a man and give up sex for the purpose of establishing a longer-term relationship that could lead to marriage, etc.).

She has taken some big initial steps but obviously this will be an ongoing challenge, at least from where I sit right now.

[BallSpanking]

I think, SW would probably like to accommodate your desire to see her fuck, but in order to provide you with that experience she would have to feel comfortable enough with her FWB to broach the subject. Given how SW has previously needed an emotional connection to spread open her beautiful thighs, it is likely that type of pay-off is still down the road a little ways, and you may have to wait until SW establishes one or more trusted connections with anotherr man/men.

The obvious shortcut to that scenario is an MFM threesome, which might seem more enticing to her FWB's, but having the husband involved can spook the him if he is not either experienced in the lifestyle, or very easy-going.

Any news on her upcoming trip back East? Has Mr S responded appropriately (or inappropriately)?
Is SW still hot to fuck him again?

If she is, I think it tells you she is feeling more comfortable with the booty call concept, but in reverse. She is the one who gets to call the shots with her flesh and bone dildo.

[afagehi7]

Girls night...that means she isn't planning on you attending the hot wife festivities. A freudian slip perhaps?

This is yet another reminder that I still want to find a way to move the hotwife activities from SW going it alone. This is obvious still her mindset.

Present strategy continues to be that she finds rewards in it, sufficient to desire to continue, and at the same time to bifurcate her assumption that emotions and feelings are needed for her to become physical with a man (kind of her process has always been to date a man and give up sex for the purpose of establishing a longer-term relationship that could lead to marriage, etc.).

She has taken some big initial steps but obviously this will be an ongoing challenge, at least from where I sit right now.

Solo is still stupid hot. Just keep reenforcing the mfm idea. Maybe let her have another solo with Mr S and see how it goes but always say that you want involved. Solo frequently with a local is bad.

[Sophie]

Girls night...that means she isn't planning on you attending the hot wife festivities. A freudian slip perhaps?

This is yet another reminder that I still want to find a way to move the hotwife activities from SW going it alone. This is obvious still her mindset.

Present strategy continues to be that she finds rewards in it, sufficient to desire to continue, and at the same time to bifurcate her assumption that emotions and feelings are needed for her to become physical with a man (kind of her process has always been to date a man and give up sex for the purpose of establishing a longer-term relationship that could lead to marriage, etc.).

She has taken some big initial steps but obviously this will be an ongoing challenge, at least from where I sit right now.

Solo is still stupid hot. Just keep reenforcing the mfm idea. Maybe let her have another solo with Mr S and see how it goes but always say that you want involved. Solo frequently with a local is bad.

afagehi7, I partly agree with you that 'Solo frequently with a local is bad' and fully agree if it continues for an an extended period of time.

Sophie.

[slenderfish]

I think, SW would probably like to accommodate your desire to see her fuck, but in order to provide you with that experience she would have to feel comfortable enough with her FWB to broach the subject. Given how SW has previously needed an emotional connection to spread open her beautiful thighs, it is likely that type of pay-off is still down the road a little ways, and you may have to wait until SW establishes one or more trusted connections with anotherr man/men.

The obvious shortcut to that scenario is an MFM threesome, which might seem more enticing to her FWB's, but having the husband involved can spook the him if he is not either experienced in the lifestyle, or very easy-going.

Any news on her upcoming trip back East? Has Mr S responded appropriately (or inappropriately)?
Is SW still hot to fuck him again?

If she is, I think it tells you she is feeling more comfortable with the booty call concept, but in reverse. She is the one who gets to call the shots with her flesh and bone dildo.

It gives me comfort to know that you see this the same way I see it. I'm not just lost and hoping for something that will never become possible, e.g. in denial. So we proceed on this basis.

Yes, it seems Mr. S has started texting "just enough" to keep SW intent on seeing him later this month. I find it kind of funny, the inconsistency in her with respect to this. She continues to complain that Mr. S is not providing any kind of chase, now that she's given up the goodies, and that she certainly does not want a fuck buddy or FWB result. At the same time, that's exactly what this is shaping up to be at this point. Unless it is becoming something else, that perhaps she is not aware or willing to admit. Either case is really good from my seat watching an early-development hotwife. I actually see three possible paths ahead, for SW and Mr. S:

1) Fuck buddies/FWB which seems to be the heading. This is positive because she will be enacting the shift to where she can be physically intimate with a man without the extra deep emotional boyfriend/suitor layer. Excellent development from my perspective.

2) Fuck buddies/FWB that peters out and she ultimately rejects. Again, this is fine if she follows through as she's noted recently, that she might prefer to try for a guy who lives more locally. Excellent development from my perspective.

3) Mr. S establishes some kind of extra influence over SW. This is what I am alluding to in the second paragraph. SW generally is not one to hang around if she is not treated how she prefers. The fact that she persists in holding to the plan, even in the fact of the obvious that Mr. S appears to not be "that into her" (based on his communications, etc.) doesn't on its fact make sense to me. So I've developed a postulate that perhaps she is more into him than she admits. Intriguing development from my perspective.

Some additional data. You may recall that on their first date in September, when he became too forward with her and she pushed him away, he said that she was "being stingy" with her body. On the second visit in October, when she did ultimately share her body, he told her "I'm very picky about women" and "I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't want to be" etc. These kind of statements put the woman on the defensive, that she somehow has to measure up in order to keep the man's attention.

At some level I believe SW's ego is pushing her to continue with him.

Here's a new bit of info; he also told SW that he prefers anal be in the mix; and confirmed it was a regular practice with his ex-wife (whom he says still wants to reconcile back with him) and with his current girlfriend. He asked SW if she goes there, and her answer was that it was a rare day for me (husband) and that of course I (husband) would like to do it more often but she's just not that into it. She essentially said "no way."

After she revealed this conversation to me, I reflected a bit and since the have made three observations to SW on the subject. First, that she can be confident Mr. S is an ass man. This is a good thing for SW since it's her leading physical asset. Second, that she can be confident in that she has done anal (and enjoyed it) with me in the past (I had to remind her of this fact) and knows how to do it right, especially when she's extra turned on, and that she's had an orgasm during anal at least once with me. Third, that she has this as a prize to dangle in order to get his attention and compliance.

I'm really intrigued to see if she ever ends up going there with Mr. S. It will tell a lot.

I must admit that last week, when she and I were engaged in our lovemaking and she was doing the describing of Mr. S deep inside her, I whispered the notion of perhaps offering him her tight little pink flower, that perhaps she might reserve that just for him? That gave her an obvious pause (she actually paused), so I know she is thinking about it at some level.

In any case, this is good material for the husband of a hotwife.

[XYAlpha]

SF,
I keep finding my thoughts coming back to your approach with regard to what you want to get out of this. I understand that you are very carefully nurturing this little HW flame you have going but the longer you wait to have a clear understanding with SW about your expectations the harder it will be to express your needs and for her to change course. Once her "style" is established, she may not want to change that. Considering your description of her personality and her preferences, I think you are establishing a precedent that you will get stuck with to some degree.

We all know that a heightened state of communication is required for the LS. You are holding back, not communicating with SW. She is not fully communicating with you. Again, I am posting with an idea of what you want. Perhaps the unknown of her actions is titillating for you and being left out is becoming part of your kink.

If you are afraid to share with her the complete "scope" of HW'ing that you have in mind for fear of her reaction, how will you ever address issues that arise (and they will) that require you to have prompt difficult discussions with her that may in fact cause her to stop the pursuit?

XY

[slenderfish]

When I was dropping her off at the airport and we were going through the checklist of things (identification, phone, boarding pass, etc.) she went into her handbag to dig for one of the items and about eight pairs of panties spilled out onto the sidewalk/curb. She was embarrassed and said she realized at the last minute that she'd not packed any panties. So threw into her handbag.

[slenderfish]

SF,
I keep finding my thoughts coming back to your approach with regard to what you want to get out of this. I understand that you are very carefully nurturing this little HW flame you have going but the longer you wait to have a clear understanding with SW about your expectations the harder it will be to express your needs and for her to change course. Once her "style" is established, she may not want to change that. Considering your description of her personality and her preferences, I think you are establishing a precedent that you will get stuck with to some degree.

We all know that a heightened state of communication is required for the LS. You are holding back, not communicating with SW. She is not fully communicating with you. Again, I am posting with an idea of what you want. Perhaps the unknown of her actions is titillating for you and being left out is becoming part of your kink.

If you are afraid to share with her the complete "scope" of HW'ing that you have in mind for fear of her reaction, how will you ever address issues that arise (and they will) that require you to have prompt difficult discussions with her that may in fact cause her to stop the pursuit?

XY

Thanks for the reminder prompt. I have shared my desire for MFM as the expectation and goal. She said that at the outset she couldn't envision if or how that could ever happen. We did discuss and agreed that the first effort will be giving up her hotwife cherry, which has happened. Next agreed effort is to divide her emotions from the hotwife activities (e.g. break away from the assumption that she has to "fall in love" with the guy in order to become physically intimate). Seems this is on track right now. This upcoming visit/encounter will tell a lot more on that point.

She also brought up the concept of her next guy being more local. I then reminded her of the MFM element and that the expectation with the new guy is most effective when set up front. She said she wouldn't know how to do that. I then recounted the story of SJ13 (on this board) and how his wife merely told the suitor that they could date and sleep together but the only condition is that the husband be involved (watch and/or participate). The guy (of course) said "sign me up" without hesitation. SW was very intrigued by the simplicity of this and she asked me to be sure and follow the development of SJ13's hotwife and to report back.

I think these are good signs.

This is a roller coaster but not on a set track. The track can pretty much go anywhere.

Perhaps it's more like a tobaggen ride, in that there is a bit of steering involved but it is rudimentary at best.

[Sophie]

When I was dropping her off at the airport and we were going through the checklist of things (identification, phone, boarding pass, etc.) she went into her handbag to dig for one of the items and about eight pairs of panties spilled out onto the sidewalk/curb. She was embarrassed and said she realized at the last minute that she'd not packed any panties. So threw into her handbag.

slenderfish, Lots of Ladies forget their panties. It's working out if we ment to on purpose is the problem for you guys.

Sophie.

[slenderfish]

Girls night...that means she isn't planning on you attending the hot wife festivities. A freudian slip perhaps?

This is yet another reminder that I still want to find a way to move the hotwife activities from SW going it alone. This is obvious still her mindset.

Present strategy continues to be that she finds rewards in it, sufficient to desire to continue, and at the same time to bifurcate her assumption that emotions and feelings are needed for her to become physical with a man (kind of her process has always been to date a man and give up sex for the purpose of establishing a longer-term relationship that could lead to marriage, etc.).

She has taken some big initial steps but obviously this will be an ongoing challenge, at least from where I sit right now.

Solo is still stupid hot. Just keep reenforcing the mfm idea. Maybe let her have another solo with Mr S and see how it goes but always say that you want involved. Solo frequently with a local is bad.

afagehi7, I partly agree with you that 'Solo frequently with a local is bad' and fully agree if it continues for an an extended period of time.

Sophie.

SW's conversations about a local guy have largely surrounded practical elements such as being outed/discovered, and of course the niece living with us, etc. She has also wondered about concepts such as going out of town on trips, etc. All normal if you ask me. And a good sign she is starting to settle in that this is a lifestyle.

[slenderfish]

When I was dropping her off at the airport and we were going through the checklist of things (identification, phone, boarding pass, etc.) she went into her handbag to dig for one of the items and about eight pairs of panties spilled out onto the sidewalk/curb. She was embarrassed and said she realized at the last minute that she'd not packed any panties. So threw into her handbag.

slenderfish, Lots of Ladies forget their panties. It's working out if we ment to on purpose is the problem for you guys.

Sophie.

Humor = extra bonus points! SW and I are keeping a good sense of humor in this.

The other week I asked her if she was aware there is a new season of Real Hotwives of Orange County that has started on Bravo. She caught my mistake and laughed about what seems to be front of mind for me/us these days.

[afagehi7]

Fish,

I think Mr S is a conquest from her past and she's into him on some level to continue when she's not getting him to behave as she wants. It may also be the female mindset that causes women to be with jerks. I don't know if it's the challenge of changing the guy or what but we've all noticed the link. Also, when we've dates we've always been careful to not give in and treat her too well or we lose her. Maybe he's just playing the game. If he is then it's working because she's considering letting him have her ass.