Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

Review and analysis:

It seems SW is continuing to expand her mindset and sexuality. I was very surprised, pleasantly surprised, at what I encountered on Wed night when I came home to her having phone sex with Mr. M. Some notes:

- She had noted he has gained weight and is not at all attractive.

- Her nieces noted, at the time and again after they all ran into him by accident in October, that he is "creepy" and will not change their minds despite SW telling them otherwise.

- She said she called him to "give him shit" regarding his holding back on his marital status changes, girlfriend, etc. during their prior telephone conversations (from Aug/Sep/Oct) wherein he continued to tell her it is a mistake to undertake pursuing hotwife activities.

- She said she was on the phone with him for an hour then when she realized I was coming home any minute, she quickly transitioned into phone sex solely for my benefit.

- When I did open the door to the bedroom I saw her with a red-wine smile and teeth, a wine glass on the nightstand, and an empty wine bottle and holding the phone (while on speakerphone) close to her face/ear with one hand and the other one inside the crotch area of her pajamas.

- It's clear to me now that she relaxes and becomes more sexual after at least two glasses of red wine. More so with more wine. Not sure if this may become a problem, but I continue to pay close attention to that.

- Starting with when she first reconnected with Mr M six or seven years ago, she has steadfastly maintained that she has no attraction to Mr M and that they do talk from time to time but only to catch up on each others' lives and more for SW to receive the latest gossip regarding her prior group of friends. I always figured it was really to keep tabs on Mr. D (Richie Rich) her boyfriend from before Mr M.

- There was a time about five years ago, about a year after she reconnected with him socially (at my encouragement and had dinner with him in our area while he was here on business and at the time she and I had a disagreement about whether she remained interested in him sexually and she then said "forget it, I don't need to be in touch with him") she actually continued to remain in contact with him and actually made plans to see him a) during a stopover at the airport in the city where he lives (she used to live) and b) on the down-low later that summer when she was going to visit her family and girlfriends. I stumbled onto her hidden plans and asked her about them, and she denied and denied until I made it clear I had proof, etc. After that point, I clarified that I am fine with her being in contact with him, but not if she's doing it in a secret manner. So she has been very good about no secrecy with respect to Mr. M for the past five years.

- Back to last week's phone fireworks. She said she was on the phone for about an hour before I came home and she somehow suddenly was able to switch to phone sex just for me, exact perfect timing. I'm not sure that's exactly how it came out, because a) how do you do that out of nowhere if there is no history of it between the two? b) she was actually on the phone with him for 2 1/2 hours; c) she still hasn't mentioned it but she was on the phone with him two days earlier (last Monday) for over an hour. So it's clear she is not telling me everything, but at the same time if this is her way of expanding her horizons, I'm not inclined to give her shit for it.

- I've concluded it's her consistent process (as proven over the years) that she will do something on the down-low that she believes is fully unknown to me (and further believes that will not ever be known to me) but when I stumble upon it, she denies and denies and denies until incontrovertible evidence is presented, and then she does the predictable backpedaling and damage control, trying to ascertain how much is known, etc.

- This behavior of hers is rare, but obviously does happen from time to time, always with respect to some man in her life whom she insists is a platonic friend (consider also Mr. B).

Just stuff to consider.

Additional notes:

- When sober (e.g. the morning after) she continued (and continues) to reaffirm her explanation of the events on the phone with Mr. M even to the point of overkill

- She still does overkill when it comes to the questionable time with Mr. B in August (the other obviously secret effort that was stumbled upon by me)

- She also has added that she feels bad about "taking advantage" of Mr. M that night, solely for my benefit, and said it's not fair, now adding some level of blame on me; she's mentioned this at least three times since that night and we even had a heated conversation about it late Saturday night after our date (I continue to tell her that I'm sure Mr M is not displeased at the development and her answer is that men are pigs and so easily manipulated) and also that her decision to have phone sex with him was hers to make and she should take full ownership of it and be proud of herself

- She has returned to a conversation about what if she gets a new lover more locally and she falls in love with him and ultimately that drives her to want to be with him more than with me

- After our heated conversation on Saturday night (and fully influenced by at least three glasses of wine for her), on Sunday morning (and all day) she has been very loving and like a happy purring kitten.

In light of her upcoming adventures with Mr. S (in less than two weeks) it's my present opinion that the reality of it is starting to come back to her and she is going through (yet again) this inner fight with respect to mindset; her longtime view of herself versus this new and exciting but scary adventure. She also surprised and spooked herself with respect to Mr. M and the phone sex and has developed this narrative that puts it all on me and for me, even though I am leaning to the belief that she was doing that before I came home and is using her version of it to absolve herself from being a driver. But she knows the truth and it is disconcerting to her, that she would do this kind of slutty thing.

Does anyone see additional aspects that merit discussing? We are in the countdown to next week and I want to go forward with eyes as open as possible.

[dorsetben]

It might just be worth emphasising that the only downside to any of this would be dishonesty on anyone's part. Maybe make it clear that reluctance to disclose something immediately need not necessarily equate to dishonesty? And perhaps emphasise that there is very little she could do in terms of intimacy or sex that wouldn't excite you and make you happy. Just my 2 cents...

[XYAlpha]

SF,
Her having adventures that are specifically hidden from you with the idea that they will never be discovered is a red flag for HW'ing. You must have absolute confidence that she will honor your desires and agreements while on "dates". Otherwise you have nothing...
Her lack of information forthcoming is far less than I understand that you want - we are back to "what's in it for you"? At this point - not much. For all the information she has shared with you, you could have "imagined" all that with a fine masturbation session and not been out a ton of money or putting your marriage at risk. Which brings me to the huge red flag...

This is the second time you have noted that she has raised again the idea / possibility that she might find someone local that she falls in love with and wants to spend more time with them than you.

Read that out loud to yourself...

Unless I am wrong and I missed that you were one of those Cucks that is thrilled by the prospect of being replaced, you need to consider this VERY carefully. With her history of not giving you the FULL story, I wonder what she knows that she is NOT telling you?

IMO, most HW's or almost HW's would be adamant that this would not happen (I lived that dream). For her to open this discussion up is very telling for me.

How did you answer the question?

XY

[solstice]

Does anyone see additional aspects that merit discussing

I think if I were involved with the convoluted nature of your wife's version of events, I would not need a therapist but I would definitely need to consult a psychiatrist, her beauty I think cancel out the devious side of her nature, but it could be a close run thing!

[samlowen]

I’m sensitive to alcoholism and her drinking would be a red flag for me, something I would always pay attention to. I feel she is drinking from anxiety right now and that can go away with time and confidence.

Her inability to consistently tell you the truth is another red flag for me.

[coastalkid]

I have followed this thread from the start. Ever since you posted in the Hotties section I realized how attractive your wife is. She can easily attract a whole alphabet of suitors (Mr. A-Z). It's been interesting to witness you analyzing this to the nth degree and I would do the same, I'm certain. I admire your open honesty! Here's my take for what it's worth!

Review and analysis:

It seems SW is continuing to expand her mindset and sexuality. I was very surprised, pleasantly surprised, at what I encountered on Wed night when I came home to her having phone sex with Mr. M. Some notes:

- She had noted he has gained weight and is not at all attractive.

- Her nieces noted, at the time and again after they all ran into him by accident in October, that he is "creepy" and will not change their minds despite SW telling them otherwise.

- She said she called him to "give him shit" regarding his holding back on his marital status changes, girlfriend, etc. during their prior telephone conversations (from Aug/Sep/Oct) wherein he continued to tell her it is a mistake to undertake pursuing hotwife activities.

If she has to defend him to her nieces she has her doubts too! This guy is not her "perfect" fit and she knows it.

- She said she was on the phone with him for an hour then when she realized I was coming home any minute, she quickly transitioned into phone sex solely for my benefit.

- When I did open the door to the bedroom I saw her with a red-wine smile and teeth, a wine glass on the nightstand, and an empty wine bottle and holding the phone (while on speakerphone) close to her face/ear with one hand and the other one inside the crotch area of her pajamas.

Despite him not being the perfect fit, something is still drawing her to the idea and this guy gives her outlet to explore that. Still, the issue is what do you discuss for more than an hour (2 1/2 by your claim later) that you feel you need to hide it?

- It's clear to me now that she relaxes and becomes more sexual after at least two glasses of red wine. More so with more wine. Not sure if this may become a problem, but I continue to pay close attention to that.

It almost seems like under the influence she tends to be more forthcoming, almost in a passive/aggressive way. I would consider there is a root of truth in most of what she says when drinking. I'd be conflicted, on one hand I'd want to hear what she says, on the other I'd wonder how true it was fueled by alcohol and passive/aggression.

- Starting with when she first reconnected with Mr M six or seven years ago, she has steadfastly maintained that she has no attraction to Mr M and that they do talk from time to time but only to catch up on each others' lives and more for SW to receive the latest gossip regarding her prior group of friends. I always figured it was really to keep tabs on Mr. D (Richie Rich) her boyfriend from before Mr M.

- There was a time about five years ago, about a year after she reconnected with him socially (at my encouragement and had dinner with him in our area while he was here on business and at the time she and I had a disagreement about whether she remained interested in him sexually and she then said "forget it, I don't need to be in touch with him") she actually continued to remain in contact with him and actually made plans to see him a) during a stopover at the airport in the city where he lives (she used to live) and b) on the down-low later that summer when she was going to visit her family and girlfriends. I stumbled onto her hidden plans and asked her about them, and she denied and denied until I made it clear I had proof, etc. After that point, I clarified that I am fine with her being in contact with him, but not if she's doing it in a secret manner. So she has been very good about no secrecy with respect to Mr. M for the past five years.

Mr. D is not in the picture. She would have to do more to pursue him. Mr. B remains her best entrance to the "lifestyle". She doesn't have long discussions with Mr. D like she does with Mr. B so, clearly there is a vastly deeper connection there.

- Back to last week's phone fireworks. She said she was on the phone for about an hour before I came home and she somehow suddenly was able to switch to phone sex just for me, exact perfect timing. I'm not sure that's exactly how it came out, because a) how do you do that out of nowhere if there is no history of it between the two? b) she was actually on the phone with him for 2 1/2 hours; c) she still hasn't mentioned it but she was on the phone with him two days earlier (last Monday) for over an hour. So it's clear she is not telling me everything, but at the same time if this is her way of expanding her horizons, I'm not inclined to give her shit for it.

- I've concluded it's her consistent process (as proven over the years) that she will do something on the down-low that she believes is fully unknown to me (and further believes that will not ever be known to me) but when I stumble upon it, she denies and denies and denies until incontrovertible evidence is presented, and then she does the predictable backpedaling and damage control, trying to ascertain how much is known, etc.

- This behavior of hers is rare, but obviously does happen from time to time, always with respect to some man in her life whom she insists is a platonic friend (consider also Mr. B).

Her need for secrecy is the troublesome part. She sounds caught between the lustful sexuality of it and then feeling wrong for giving in to those feelings, so much so that she places blame on you for wanting it. Her conflict seems to be that she has found a part of her that wants it too and has trouble admitting it. It seems like at this stage of where you are you have to realize her secrecy is insignificant enough to ignore as her way of dealing with her conflict, or if the secrecy becomes less rare as you describe it.

Just stuff to consider.

Additional notes:

- When sober (e.g. the morning after) she continued (and continues) to reaffirm her explanation of the events on the phone with Mr. M even to the point of overkill

- She still does overkill when it comes to the questionable time with Mr. B in August (the other obviously secret effort that was stumbled upon by me)

- She also has added that she feels bad about "taking advantage" of Mr. M that night, solely for my benefit, and said it's not fair, now adding some level of blame on me; she's mentioned this at least three times since that night and we even had a heated conversation about it late Saturday night after our date (I continue to tell her that I'm sure Mr M is not displeased at the development and her answer is that men are pigs and so easily manipulated) and also that her decision to have phone sex with him was hers to make and she should take full ownership of it and be proud of herself

- She has returned to a conversation about what if she gets a new lover more locally and she falls in love with him and ultimately that drives her to want to be with him more than with me

- After our heated conversation on Saturday night (and fully influenced by at least three glasses of wine for her), on Sunday morning (and all day) she has been very loving and like a happy purring kitten.

In light of her upcoming adventures with Mr. S (in less than two weeks) it's my present opinion that the reality of it is starting to come back to her and she is going through (yet again) this inner fight with respect to mindset; her longtime view of herself versus this new and exciting but scary adventure. She also surprised and spooked herself with respect to Mr. M and the phone sex and has developed this narrative that puts it all on me and for me, even though I am leaning to the belief that she was doing that before I came home and is using her version of it to absolve herself from being a driver. But she knows the truth and it is disconcerting to her, that she would do this kind of slutty thing.

Does anyone see additional aspects that merit discussing? We are in the countdown to next week and I want to go forward with eyes as open as possible.

Is it possible that the lengthy discussions with Mr. B have anything to do with the upcoming meeting with Mr. S? Is Mr. B such a confidant that SW would discuss it at length with him? Is she using him as a second opinion and sounding things off him? She has to be influenced by your own analytical way of approaching things enough to seek out information on her own. Mr. B may be SW's "gay boyfriend" (I don't mean that in an ugly way, I'm only suggesting she may be more open with him. I'm not suggesting Mr. B is gay at all). Just thoughts, nothing more than that. You are in an interesting point and place in your lives. I hope the secrecy thing gets figured out.

[coastalkid]

Sorry, I may have got Mr. B confused with Mr. M

[slenderfish]

Sorry, I may have got Mr. B confused with Mr. M

Got it, I saw that as I read it.

I'm gonna reread (at least a couple of times) and I thank you for the significant contribution and recap.

[54321]

Does anyone see additional aspects that merit discussing?

Yes. It sounds likely to me that SW learned to be secretive during childhood. It's not uncommon that a child discovers that how they naturally are is not what their parents want. In the hope of being loved and accepted, they learn to hide their true selves and 'play a part'.

SW's behaviour seems closely to fit that pattern. No matter how often you exhort her to be honest about things, doing so makes her feel insecure. She feels that it's safer to lie. That's how she is emotionally programmed. This kind of problem can be resolved but:

1. She needs to be brave enough to admit that she is a knee jerk liar (like saying "I'm an alcoholic" at an AA meeting)
2. You two need at least to agree that lying is toxic to any relationship and that any relationship will be improved with honest communication
(it's always easier to talk about other people's relationships or relationships in general rather than your own.)
3.You need to find a good hypno-analyst (please don't waste your money on CBT. This is not a cognitive issue. It's an emotional issue)
4. SW needs to find just a teensy bit of courage. Every hang up is held in place by fear (usually, the fear that one's parents will not love one) and it is that fear that causes so many people to run away from effective treatment or find a quack so they can tell themselves that they are 'trying'. Good hypno-analytic treatment is NOT painful, NOT frightening and WORKS FAST. The worst that can happen is perhaps a shudder of embarrassment and a few tears.
5. You seem to be a little concerned about her drinking levels. When the lying goes, the drinking will most probably disappear along with it.
6. You might need to put hotwifing on hold for a while. As you read through stories on this site, you see the same mantra repeated over and over: communication, communication, communication. At the moment, you are on parallel agendas. Once the two of you are in honest communication with each other, everything will work and you will both be happier too.

If you'd like to discuss this further, PM me.

Every good wish,

54321

[DavidnDaria]

deleted.

[jeeves]

Nothing wrong with a little trickle truth... more comfortable for her & more angst for you...

[afagehi7]

Fish,

1. She's not an alcoholic yet but just needs some liquid courage. I wouldn't worry about it but just keep an eye on it. I know alcoholism rather well. Long story for another time or PM.

2. Her lying is a major issue. You can't trust her. She gets caught and she doesn't fess everything up. This puts everything in question (eg night with Mr. B). She's obviously got something going on with mr. M (not necessarily sex). She wasn't on the phone for an hour once (never disclosed) then an hour the next time and magically switched to phone sex for your benefit. She was well under way and you caught her (that may have been intentional on her part). Why not tell the truth? These other issues you caught...not cool.

3. I would take no action yet. I'd let Mr. S play out over the holidays. See how that all goes and where you stand afterwards. In the meantime, you should start planning how you're going to approach the lies and/or secrecy. If this doesn't change you should NOT look for a local candidate. That's certain danger. No one local until this issue is dealt with and you are satisfied that she's clean and open and honest. If hotwifing stops forever after the next Mr.S so be it but it can't continue with someone local under these circumstances.

TLDR; So, in summary, I'd proceed with Thanksgiving plans with Mr. S and strategically decide how to best approach this secrecy and or lying after the holidays. No one local until it's fixed even if that means the end of the adventure. You've still got some good times to reflect on which is more than most of us.

[slenderfish]

It might just be worth emphasising that the only downside to any of this would be dishonesty on anyone's part. Maybe make it clear that reluctance to disclose something immediately need not necessarily equate to dishonesty? And perhaps emphasise that there is very little she could do in terms of intimacy or sex that wouldn't excite you and make you happy. Just my 2 cents...

We've had this conversation over and over. We've also come to a place of detente, as it were. That is, she points out she is an Aquarius and very independent. As such, she resists oversight and (I suppose) disclosing. She says she naturally resists feeling controlled by anyone, and that my desire to know feels to her as an effort to control.

"As an Aquarius, our independence is what draws most people in at first. ... The whimsical nature of an Aquarius tends to be the envy of many others because although the Aquarius woman may seem aloof, her independent nature holds her to the Earth's very ground, keeping her rooted as a practical person" (from Elite Daily .com)

So I've taken the extra dose(s) of chill pill and am able to glean details on my own, as well as when she shares them. She just knows that there are certain things that do stand alone and must be shared within a reasonable (short) time period, lest they be seen as out and out cheating etc. Again, there is a fair stretch of "no-man's land" now between her perspective and mine, which we are presently being careful to respect.

Example 1: She was on the phone with Mr. M for 2 1/2 hours on Wed and for an hour on Mon. I know this from my separate resources (the phone bill). She told me she was on the phone with him for 1 hour on Wed (plus the 10 min when I was there). Does this difference count as much? Perhaps, and perhaps not. If I choose to create conflict, then she will feel less free, and therefore likely squelch this free feeling and resulting actions. If I sit on the information and gather it, then I can conclude she is feeling free, doing her own thing to a degree, getting her satisfaction and at the same time opening up to other things and to me.

Example 2: She was able to make the Saturday night date with Mr. S in mid-October after all (in addition to the planned Sunday night date) but didn't mention it to me, even though it became firm on that Thursday when she and I were on the phone quite a bit. She then went more silent on Friday and fully silent on Saturday, mostly silent on Sunday, and then popped back into communication as she got to the airport for her return home. She felt independent, so much so that she decided to go through with the full hotwife plunge on Sunday night after all. I think this, again, is a fair trade for me to chill in order to let SW feel like she is in control and independent with respect to her hotwife path and developments.

With this as the basic premise, we will move into next week's activities. It will be interesting to see how it unfolds. The first unknown (and possibly most significant at this point) is whether Mr. S will take SW up with respect to her offer to see him on Wednesday night the 25th. Their prior plan had them getting together on Monday the 30th. She now has offered up (at my suggestion) the 25th and the 29th, 30th and 1st.

[BallSpanking]

As regards Mr M, I doubt that he represents a viable option for SW, especially in light of his weight gain and her professing (probably sincerely) that she is not attracted to him. This would also explain her guilt at leading him on during their phone sex conversation. It is possible that she in fact did lead their conversation toward phone sex when she realized you would be coming home, and it also would explain her overkill intending to establish that as a belated 'fact', after the episode came to an end. She likely is feeling somewhat guilty, and is trying to come to terms with her actions.

As regards Mr S, I find it interesting that she remains committed to the hookup, in spite of her reservations about it, probably because his sexual interest in her does something for her appreciation of her own sexual persona, or because he fucked her really well and she wants more ... slut shaming be damned.

[slenderfish]

Is it possible that the lengthy discussions with Mr. B have anything to do with the upcoming meeting with Mr. S? Is Mr. B such a confidant that SW would discuss it at length with him? Is she using him as a second opinion and sounding things off him? She has to be influenced by your own analytical way of approaching things enough to seek out information on her own. Mr. B may be SW's "gay boyfriend" (I don't mean that in an ugly way, I'm only suggesting she may be more open with him. I'm not suggesting Mr. B is gay at all). Just thoughts, nothing more than that. You are in an interesting point and place in your lives. I hope the secrecy thing gets figured out.

Mr. M was SW's "safe" guy friend she chose for discussing hotwifing. She wanted a man's perspective, and she also knows that Mr. M doesn't know me or care about me, but he does care about her (at some level). So it does (did) make sense to me that she reached out to him. I've already noted his initial and ongoing reaction, as she has continued to share with me, that it's a mistake and her marriage is doomed and that I must be gay or bi and/or wanting a free pass for women, etc.

This is why it was such a surprise that she moved to the phone sex with him. In either case a) her version which was the sudden change "on a dime" of "an hour" phone conversation regarding his life and/or hotwife stuff to down and dirty phone sex; or b) my less clear version of her being in touch with him for an hour on Monday (during the day) and then again on Wednesday night (started the phone call with him about 30 min after she and I spoke and it was clear to her I was heading to dinner and drinks with friends at least 30 minutes drive away from home and also niece was out with friends) in which case I'm not certain when or how they progressed to the phone sex element but it probably was planned or hinted or teased to some degree in advance.

I touch on the secrecy thing in my reply to dorsetben.

I am presently purposely letting the secrecy thing be the proverbial "sleeping dog" except if it becomes too much of a direct threat. That is, she can have rope if it (apparently) emboldens her to push her boundaries, etc. That's a win-win. I just don't want her to hang herself with that excess rope.

At the same time, I look at my choice of rope reference above and now reflect that of course rope represents a version of control. Hmmm....

[slenderfish]

Nothing wrong with a little trickle truth... more comfortable for her & more angst for you...

Yes, so far this has generally worked out, especially after we had a communication session wherein I pointed out that she should find a balance between her taking time to get her head and heart straight, but also sharing with me before too much time passes and it gets stale and difficult.

The concept of "reclaim" has intrigued her and she seems to be embracing it. That's a very good sign, in my opinion.

[slenderfish]

Okay, here's the plan as it now stands for next week's cycle.

I hope that SW and Mr. S are able to spend time together, to the point that SW really enjoys it for her own purposes. I'm going to enjoy it no matter what, even if it's a little or a lot.

The hope here is that she will be more relaxed with him and ready to enjoy slow, sensual time with him, perhaps two or three nights over the course of the week.

We pretty much know that he's in it solely for the physical. If she has a wonderful time within that solely physical framework, then it's a big win!

If I'm lucky and things go as I hope, then she will be more motivated to continue with hotwifing and to find ways to make it work better for her and for me. I will be in a place to ask for the pendulum to move more in my direction, after it has been her direction in these recent encounters.

Also, I'll continue the theme of her accepting and acknowledging for herself that she enjoys this freedom, the power, etc. and she is not a bad person or a slut but rather a woman with a supportive husband, a woman who knows what she wants and is now embracing and willing to pursue it.

[slenderfish]

As regards Mr M, I doubt that he represents a viable option for SW, especially in light of his weight gain and her professing (probably sincerely) that she is not attracted to him. This would also explain her guilt at leading him on during their phone sex conversation. It is possible that she in fact did lead their conversation toward phone sex when she realized you would be coming home, and it also would explain her overkill intending to establish that as a belated 'fact', after the episode came to an end. She likely is feeling somewhat guilty, and is trying to come to terms with her actions.

As regards Mr S, I find it interesting that she remains committed to the hookup, in spite of her reservations about it, probably because his sexual interest in her does something for her appreciation of her own sexual persona, or because he fucked her really well and she wants more ... slut shaming be damned.

Mr. M is fine either way, or no way, as far as I'm concerned. It's really about SW and whether she did it solely for me, or if she was already doing it for her. We may never know, and that's also okay.

Yes, I do find it intriguing about Mr. S. At some level it has to be about something she's getting from him, which seems to be in the realm of sex, since she's not getting anything else from him. That's also very okay.

[slenderfish]

You've still got some good times to reflect on which is more than most of us.

Yes, it's so compelling to think of her getting naked with the tall volleyball guy (Mr. S) and taking him into her mouth, that pretty face, and then mounting him and riding him with that tight body.

And that she is desirous of doing it again, and presumably will be doing it again, in less than two weeks.

[Triggershy]

This thread is the most thoughtful real writing anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for being so open and honest this thread is something you’ll be able to go back and enjoy for years to come to see what you went through. I’m very impressed with you on all accounts and feel like you deserve so much more. The TRUTH is all I care about in every relationship I have. I’m worried there is so much you don’t know and because of that I’m very stressed long term. Enjoy the next two weeks I hope you get to reclaim her Wednesday night late or first thing Thursday morning you DESERVE the greatest feeling in the world a warm silky used pussy truly is heaven. Thanks for everything!!!

[CuriousUK]

This thread is the most thoughtful real writing anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for being so open and honest this thread is something you’ll be able to go back and enjoy for years to come to see what you went through. I’m very impressed with you on all accounts and feel like you deserve so much more. The TRUTH is all I care about in every relationship I have. I’m worried there is so much you don’t know and because of that I’m very stressed long term. Enjoy the next two weeks I hope you get to reclaim her Wednesday night late or first thing Thursday morning you DESERVE the greatest feeling in the world a warm silky used pussy truly is heaven. Thanks for everything!!!

Couldn’t agree more!! The honestly SF gives in these posts about the experience and his feelings are so important to those of us hoping to join him on an our own incredible journey. The negative points and feelings are just as important as all the excitement and positives.

[afagehi7]

I think your current plan is the best. The secrecy will eventually cause issues if you go local. Keep it as an occasional thing when traveling and the secrecy can work. Her sneaking around with a local guy under the cloak of an aquarius and not permitting control is going to rip your marriage apart. For that to work it has to be full honestly and disclosure. Too much opportunity for the guy to play with her emotions and try to steal her. Even if she has good intentions a skilled cocksmith could easily wreak havoc. In my limited opinion.

[Tryn]

I don’t know if SW is like my wife in regards to a loose relationship to truth from time to time. For my wife, telling lies and half truths is always a result of her feeling guilt. People feel guilt even when there’s no need to. There’s plenty of reasons for your wife to feel guilty and plenty of reasons for her not to feel that. I’d bet money that her lack of transparency is related to feelings of guilt and a nefarious agenda. You’re doing the right things to help her not have guilt but she’s likely still feeling guilty. Maybe she likes it more than she’s comfortable you knowing, maybe she’s more fearful of what may happen then she’s willing to admit, maybe it’s something else. I’m just betting her lack of transparency is an expression of her guilt. Getting caught in the original lie causes more guilt btw.

[superb101]

Does she have opportunities to sneak around now if she wanted or would that be impossible?

[solstice]

Lying can be the result of a feeling of inferiority, My wife had a feeling inadequacy and could tell the most blatant lies about herself to others, knowing I knew it was untrue: Although it would be hard to believe a beautiful woman like SW would ever feel inferior.