Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[BallSpanking]

Happy holidays, SlenderFish ... In case there's radio silence for the next few days.

[slenderfish]

Happy holidays, SlenderFish ... In case there's radio silence for the next few days.

Thanks, Pinky and I are hunkering down for the next two weeks, except for a couple days (Wed-Thu) up skiing with my turboprop buddy. But he has full internet except while we are airborne.

I'm hoping it'll be a productive time with respect to hotwifing, especially as for deeper conversations between Pinky and me, etc.

Also keep your eye out for any gems that may show up in my and Pinky's feed over in the Hotties section (hint).

[slenderfish]

A FB who can not struggle landing ass doesn’t fly out to see a FB. I’m not suggesting relationships are wrong, I’m just offering advice that not being on the same page, particularly at this point and particularly with poor communication, is bad.

We will see on this count. I do follow your point and am interested in the outcome, and will consider it progress either way.

[slenderfish]

This afternoon Pinky noted to me recent texts between her and Mr. S. Said they were from yesterday. She started to summarize and I asked if she had them on her phone, so that she could just shortcut it by me reading them. I noted to her that it's better for me and likely for her, in that there would be no possible loss of meaning and no possibility of omission, even if inadvertent, that would come back. This was my natural opportunity to ask her to save texts so that I may see them, that with the way her hotwifing came together with Mr. S it had so many limitations from my side, that her keeping the texts for me to read and get my own boost from, means a lot more to me than she may have thought. Hopefully this remains in her mind and she gets in the habit of keeping them for now, and showing them to me.

The texts were basically a prompt from Pinky to Mr. S early yesterday, in the form of "hey Mr. Feb birthday, what's up" as a reminder that he hasn't mentioned affirmatively his intent to visit her over the proposed late January weekend. His reply was basically a "miss you and your body" and "yes I'm going to work to get it set up" and a reference to keeping safe with Covid-19 and that also making air travel more problematic these days.

So it's gaining momentum to being "on" as proposed and as I expected/predicted.

She continues to pooh-pooh much of it, and said that she will press forward "if you still want me to be this hotwife" to which I answered that I take her words but know there is much more than she is saying, and that I know her well enough after all these years she is holding back but I also know in many respects why she is holding back, etc. That her nonchalant approach is itself saying much more. She asked me more about what I mean by that, and I elaborated that I am certain she has a greater desire than she let on, and that things like her expressing this desire are part of the experience and jolts that I do hope to enjoy. I encouraged her to be more in touch with her feelings and to be more expressive of them.

I then said that I do wish to press forward, and that we have several weeks to prepare our mutual thoughts and expectations about the visit. Finally, I pointed out that his visit this direction is a departure from her rule that she would only ever do hotwife stuff out of state, etc. and that her change wasn't reviewed with me in advance (e.g. was unilateral by her) and it shows some changes in her mindset and desire as time has proceeded. That it also evidenced yet another "never" that is changed. Her answer to that was I've had plenty of time since she suggested it and did not protest or otherwise ask her not to pursue it, so she concluded my consent was effectively given. Didn't address the "never" but that kind of stands on its own. I agreed but noted that she had a desire to make a change in the pre-agreed balance, as do I from my perspective, and therefore she should be willing to also make some changes in my direction. That we would get into those over the next several days. This is setting the stage for my not going out of my way to be out of town during his visit, and for requests regarding reclaim, etc.

I also pointed out to her that she had mentioned in front of her niece that she may perhaps be having a "girls' trip" while I might be away on a ski trip in late January, and that this implies to her niece that she may be away from the house for some days over that time period. I asked her if she actually was thinking like this, and if so, was she contemplating actually going to stay with Mr. S in his hotel for the duration of those days? That these are the kinds of details she and I need to discuss in advance because a) I don't see her as a practical matter wanting to hang around and wait at his hotel while he is off doing his business meetings; b) did he even invite her to stay with him, or is he more likely expecting a pattern similar to how they have been meeting up thus far, e.g. dinner then fuck then they go their separate ways; and c) the concept of her staying over, even one night, is a big change to contemplate and she and I must discuss if she has a desire for it.

So we have plenty to discuss and I'll be asking for more goodies from her in my attempt to re-balance ahead of his visit.

She said that she doesn't know the exact appropriate reply to his text. She so far hasn't asked me for my advice on the reply. I believe she kept the texts for this reason, not for me, but at the same time as noted above, I've now asked her to keep texts so that I may see them and get the jolt, etc.

My thinking is to suggest her reply be something like "looking forward to hearing once you've locked in your dates flights and hotel details, at which point I'll let Slenderfish know that I'll not be around as much as usual during that time frame." My concept here is for her to interject my presence and knowledge of her going to see him. Kind of an effort to continue the push toward the fact of my knowing and of my consent. Does this sound like a good approach?

[slenderfish]

This an addendum to my post immediately above.

On reflection, the following observations:

- We had impromptu sex on Friday morning and she apparently was in the need of a huge release orgasm which showed itself

- After her big orgasm (which I enhanced by increasingly fingering her asshole and, as she reached the edge I was fully finger fucking it and she exploded with the orgasm) I hadn't yet come so encouraged her to start some hotwife talk for my orgasm, which she did provide with some prompting

- During this time but before my orgasm I replied that she really ought to let me "train" her asshole to take Mr. S' cock and that she might then have that as an unexpected surprise for him on his visit (this was at the point where she hadn't heard from him for over two weeks)

- I believe her initiating the text exchange with Mr. S the very next day (Saturday morning) was not a coincidence, and that perhaps our hot encounter the previous morning was a motivating factor; up until that point she was firm that the next text exchanged should be initiated by him, based on how the last text exchange had concluded

Just observations, as I said, but may be telling.

[afagehi7]

What kind of hotwife dirty talk did she provide?

I doubt Mr S wants her to "move in" when he's there. I know I need my personal space when traveling. If you feel the same you could use that angle to dissuade her from moving in... perhaps stay the night for morning sex then come home to you for reclamation or some combination. I don't know why she'd want to move in anyway? Sitting around the hotel doesn't seem her style.

You seem to want her to give up her sweet ass and I do believe she's seriously considering it. I am not an anal guy but have to admit that it's a steaming hot idea.

Her saving texts and sharing more is a good progression. I think you're doing well in moving her towards a more inclusive environment. As long as there is progress I don't think you have to have the sit-down boundary drawing conversation. I thought that would be necessary but it appears that you are able to do it with a softer touch.

Now what kinds of dirty things did she say and did it get her hot to say it?

[XYAlpha]

I disagree - respectfully.

You need to have your boundaries communicated. Your needs communicated and agreements made as to how the LS will be conducted so that you are getting what you need out of it. She needs to do the exact same thing. Now is the time to get all this ironed out before something happens that could have been avoided that will have an effect on the marriage first and then the LS.

Her idea that "silence is consent" is dangerous for you. Her unilateral decisions for what I consider to be things that should be discussed is problematic for the type of LS that you have shared with us that you are seeking.

I also wonder about her statement "if you want me to still be this hotwife"... I would have had to dig a lot deeper into that thought. Does she know that she is getting in too deep and carefully asking you to throw her a lifeline so that she doesn't go too far? Was she "hoping" that you would say no and therefore she would not have to be the one hurting your feelings... She may be struggling in an unexpected way - one that you have never seen and cannot rely on your history and intuition with her because it is concealed by all the "new" taking place.

Be careful Fish...

XY

[slenderfish]

What kind of hotwife dirty talk did she provide?

I doubt Mr S wants her to "move in" when he's there. I know I need my personal space when traveling. If you feel the same you could use that angle to dissuade her from moving in... perhaps stay the night for morning sex then come home to you for reclamation or some combination. I don't know why she'd want to move in anyway? Sitting around the hotel doesn't seem her style.

You seem to want her to give up her sweet ass and I do believe she's seriously considering it. I am not an anal guy but have to admit that it's a steaming hot idea.

Her saving texts and sharing more is a good progression. I think you're doing well in moving her towards a more inclusive environment. As long as there is progress I don't think you have to have the sit-down boundary drawing conversation. I thought that would be necessary but it appears that you are able to do it with a softer touch.

Now what kinds of dirty things did she say and did it get her hot to say it?

- I can't see her "moving in" with him, neither from his nor her perspective and style; my point was that she seems to have not thought about it yet and perhaps had made assumptions which, if true (e.g. she stay the full time with him) are yet again boundary changes she should discuss with me first (not "assume my consent" and/or not proceed if she gets no pushback) on this kind of thing.

- Sweet ass seems to be attractive to her in concept, during the heat of sex and imminent orgasm; but otherwise not so much.

- Saving texts is indeed a good sign, hopefully she will fully embrace it and make it a new practice.

- The dirty talk is mostly from my side but she did get into the talk toward the end, "I just may let Mr. S have my tight little ass, he'll love it" and similar, as a finisher if you know what I mean. She'd already had her big orgasm and I might otherwise go on and on, so she knows how to get to the end when she's ready.

[slenderfish]

You need to have your boundaries communicated.

Fully agree. Soft pedaling at this point, hitting one concept at a time, so that I can then pull it all together in a couple of weeks and we can have a full agreement. Also allowing this visit to become "more pregnant" because as it gets closer she will get more motivated to compromise and not be able to act as aloof.

Her idea that "silence is consent" is dangerous for you. Her unilateral decisions for what I consider to be things that should be discussed is problematic for the type of LS that you have shared with us that you are seeking.

Yes, fully agree on this and immediately pointed out to her the incorrectness of this approach. Also will continue to emphasize on it.

I also wonder about her statement "if you want me to still be this hotwife"... I would have had to dig a lot deeper into that thought. Does she know that she is getting in too deep and carefully asking you to throw her a lifeline so that she doesn't go too far? Was she "hoping" that you would say no and therefore she would not have to be the one hurting your feelings... She may be struggling in an unexpected way - one that you have never seen and cannot rely on your history and intuition with her because it is concealed by all the "new" taking place.

This is a new perspective that I do agree should be investigated. Thank you for this.

Be careful Fish...

XY

Doing my best and will do even better with this kind of advice and feedback. Thank you again.

[slenderfish]

I'm going to post the content of some of the text messages in the Hotties forum to add context to our conversations here. Perhaps later today.

[rickh57]

I'm going to post the content of some of the text messages in the Hotties forum to add context to our conversations here. Perhaps later today.

I'm looking forward to reading them!

[slenderfish]

A FB who can not struggle landing ass doesn’t fly out to see a FB. I’m not suggesting relationships are wrong, I’m just offering advice that not being on the same page, particularly at this point and particularly with poor communication, is bad.

I just reread this and believe I finally caught your meaning. I'd originally thought you were emphasizing that he would not actually fly out because he reportedly does not struggle landing ass. I was generally agreeing and thinking he just may not fly out.

But I think your meaning was that if he is even considering flying out, and/or if Pinky expects him to fly out, then it's not a FB situation but more of a relationship.

Very well, I'll of course take this into consideration. We all know by now that Pinky only knows how to pursue a man for the relationship, as she has no experience otherwise. The question has been whether this is a FB situation or a developing relationship.

I guess this question remains unanswered as of now.

This falls back to the communication element as you also pointed out.

[Wistful]

Has Pinky offered more detail or further comment on her second meeting with Mr. S during the Thanksgiving trip? Perhaps you have already recounted her feelings/thoughts in passing, or maybe I missed part of the story. Things must have gone well enough, to be planning an upcoming date.

[slenderfish]

Has Pinky offered more detail or further comment on her second meeting with Mr. S during the Thanksgiving trip? Perhaps you have already recounted her feelings/thoughts in passing, or maybe I missed part of the story. Things must have gone well enough, to be planning an upcoming date.

Still being held as a "second reclaim" opportunity (by me). When we were in the heat of the reclaim after her return, I stopped her from going into the second night because we already climaxed on the telling of the encounter of that Sunday night.

Haven't had the proper opportunity to get back to that. I've been kind of keeping it for some reason, kind of like if you have a second candy bar. You enjoyed the first, and put the second away to enjoy at some time in the future that strikes you as the right time.

[CuriousUK]

Has Pinky offered more detail or further comment on her second meeting with Mr. S during the Thanksgiving trip? Perhaps you have already recounted her feelings/thoughts in passing, or maybe I missed part of the story. Things must have gone well enough, to be planning an upcoming date.

Still being held as a "second reclaim" opportunity (by me). When we were in the heat of the reclaim after her return, I stopped her from going into the second night because we already climaxed on the telling of the encounter of that Sunday night.

Haven't had the proper opportunity to get back to that. I've been kind of keeping it for some reason, kind of like if you have a second candy bar. You enjoyed the first, and put the second away to enjoy at some time in the future that strikes you as the right time.

Love that, good for you

[slenderfish]

Haven't had the proper opportunity to get back to that. I've been kind of keeping it for some reason, kind of like if you have a second candy bar. You enjoyed the first, and put the second away to enjoy at some time in the future that strikes you as the right time.

Love that, good for you

Just got to be sure I get to it before the candy starts to diminish.

[BigHotMess]

A FB who can not struggle landing ass doesn’t fly out to see a FB. I’m not suggesting relationships are wrong, I’m just offering advice that not being on the same page, particularly at this point and particularly with poor communication, is bad.

I just reread this and believe I finally caught your meaning. I'd originally thought you were emphasizing that he would not actually fly out because he reportedly does not struggle landing ass. I was generally agreeing and thinking he just may not fly out.

But I think your meaning was that if he is even considering flying out, and/or if Pinky expects him to fly out, then it's not a FB situation but more of a relationship.

Very well, I'll of course take this into consideration. We all know by now that Pinky only knows how to pursue a man for the relationship, as she has no experience otherwise. The question has been whether this is a FB situation or a developing relationship.

I guess this question remains unanswered as of now.

This falls back to the communication element as you also pointed out.

You nailed it!

Look at it logistically. I've been on his end. Look at the knowns.

• She hasn't communicated to him the full story
  He looks at you, likely, with some level of disdain
  If he is interested in a relationship with her he will pursue her
  She may be on a slippery slope, there may be unknowns, and will implicitly allow his pursuit.
  You may need to step in but if it goes too far it'll be rough
  The next step is usually she backpedals a bit but keeps the door open, usually, he gets a bit more info at this point
  If he has this info, and is still interested in a relationship with her, he'll start using wedging techniques "Oh man, you are so beautiful and smart. If I was with you I'd never leave your side like he does, bla bla bla". If she has any resentment this WILL work.
  Unless it's a team game than circling the wagons will be impossible. At this point you'll get conflicting advice here because of so many people like a sideshow. Unfortunately at this point, the only way to fix things is to reduce variables, eliminate him from your lives and work on the marriage.
  Unfortunately, the previous step can be cataclysmic to the marriage, which is why you don't want to get to the point.
  You don't get to this point by assessing yourself in the early steps. You don't want to get to this point.

How do you communicate? Well, you tell her your black and whites first. Start there so there can be no misconception. Then whittle yourself to the middle by consuming the grey areas. But don't let grey stay grey, everything early on needs to be black and white as far as mutual understanding goes. How you're winging it now should be reserved for those with some road behind them.

[Parsifal]

Has Pinky offered more detail or further comment on her second meeting with Mr. S during the Thanksgiving trip? Perhaps you have already recounted her feelings/thoughts in passing, or maybe I missed part of the story. Things must have gone well enough, to be planning an upcoming date.

Still being held as a "second reclaim" opportunity (by me). When we were in the heat of the reclaim after her return, I stopped her from going into the second night because we already climaxed on the telling of the encounter of that Sunday night.

Haven't had the proper opportunity to get back to that. I've been kind of keeping it for some reason, kind of like if you have a second candy bar. You enjoyed the first, and put the second away to enjoy at some time in the future that strikes you as the right time.

I can relate to a reclaim that requires more than a single roll in the hay. My wife and I played what we called an affair game, three months in which she basically had a hall pass to set up affairs for three months - don't ask don't tell. The game had to be played in a way that I didn't suspect, even though her manner of dress or the elevated mood she came home with were obvious giveaways. We permitted "white lies" she could use for cover as needed, although her lies were transparent. Maybe if it were a real affair she'd be a better liar. She kept a diary. At the end of the game we scheduled a three day vacation for the reclaim, which kicked off with her reading me the diary. It took me six rolls in the hay to absorb it all.

[slenderfish]

At the end of the game we scheduled a three day vacation for the reclaim, which kicked off with her reading me the diary. It took me six rolls in the hay to absorb it all.

Now THAT'S the way to do it!

[slenderfish]

After the holiday weekend, checking in.

We had a great weekend, but Pinky is (yet again) in a bit of doldrums regarding lack of communication from Mr. S. To recap:

Crickets until the run-up to Thanksgiving. It was at least two weeks of nothing then suddenly a lot of "looking forward" etc. But she then sent him a text on Nov 21 that pretty much implied a return text, which never came. She was pissy but he suddenly became very attentive a day or two prior to her visit, and told Pinky when he was finally with her that he just isn't one to text, that he prefers voice calls,

She warmed her heart to him and they had two nights in a row of dinner, romance and good clean fucking. He went home each time, pretty much right after the climax and cleanup.

During the conversations and small talk he said he generally is in our area each January for business, and she invited him to come visit her in January 2021 and he said he would put it into motion.

They texted once or twice after she returned on Dec 2, all fiery with emojis and icons of fires and hearts and kisses and desire, until Dec 5. Then it went quiet for two weeks. She got tired of waiting because she was trying to plan her January, so she texted him late Friday night (early Saturday morning) Dec 19 (after she and I had just completed a very nice bedroom session) to see if he would reply. He did reply that same day, mid-morning that he will definitely try to make it in late January. Also interspersed with desire, etc.

On Dec 25 he texted a modest Merry Christmas greeting, which she shared with me. She has not yet shared with me her reply to his text.

It's a few days later, and here are some notes:

- She continues to be very protective of her phone. She knows that notifications flash up when a new text message or call arrives, and it's my impression she doesn't want me to see that. She has recently been sharing texts with me pretty much as they come in but now she seems to be delaying.

- I was going to be up skiing on Dec 22-24 and she planned a "girls' party gift exchange at our house for the 23rd while I was to be away. My plans got cancelled by me because of logistics of me getting back on the 24th, and I told her I would be doing my usual boys' night away from the house instead, but she cancelled her party. Not sure why. Let's remember that the last time I traveled away leaving her at home alone with the dog, she planned a girls' party and it was the big overnight with Mr. B.

- COVID-19 continues to cause travel to be severely limited so it appears that Mr. S probably won't be able to travel in January even if he wants to do so.

I'd told Pinky that I wanted her next text to him (in reply of his text that he would set it up to visit in late January on the weekend she'd requested) that as he gets the specific dates (flights) settled, he should let her know right away so that she can communicate with me (SF/husband) in order that we may plan appropriately for her weekend with him (e.g. me be away and/or her being away from time to time with him). I asked her to do this as a safe and straightforward way to remind him (and her) that I am fully aware of their dalliance and that it's fine with me. When I requested this, she didn't reject and seemed to accept the request without much fanfare.

Unfortunately, the circumstances changed, and she probably never made this communication.

I believe Pinky is trying to speak with him to let him off the hook for traveling, and to plan for another time if possible. Seems like she is using the uncertainty of my daughter's engagement party as the reason (although it is not uncertain; it's the weekend before the one proposed for Mr. S and has always been locked to that time). He doesn't seem to have returned her call. If he has, she hasn't noted it to me.

Not sure if my request has influenced her desire to change the plan. She does sense that I am not in a mindset to travel away from home or to stay away extra days just to accommodate her being with Mr. S in his hotel somewhere around here. If I'm traveling, then I'm traveling. If not, then not.

Not sure what to make of it all. Probably nothing, just uncertainty and Pinky's ego. She is understandably all over the place, giddy when he showered her with attention and in the immediate aftermath, and now disappointed with a) the lack of ongoing communication; b) travel being so restricted; and c) he apparently is also not a voice phone talker in addition to not being a texter.

My observation is that he seems to text on Saturdays, on the times when he does send text messages. Just the pattern.

He doesn't seem to be "that" into her, but enough that he will make time for her if she is around.

All in all, probably the best result at this point.

Perhaps his relationship (his girlfriend) is more involved than he lets on to Pinky. That would explain a lot of it.

Pinky has been more attentive to me these past several days. We had a wonderful night ("date night at home") this past Saturday night. This was the same night after I believe she called him or tried to call him.

[BallSpanking]

Booty call, not BF.
If that is going to be a problem for SW, it likely will be.

[superb101]

Seems to me, after reading her texts and based on what you write here, that your challenge is to, over all, get her to open up to you on her most intimate levels.

[slenderfish]

Seems to me, after reading her texts and based on what you write here, that your challenge is to, over all, get her to open up to you on her most intimate levels.

Agreed, wholeheartedly. This is going to be the biggest challenge, apparently always has been.

[afagehi7]

Seems to me, after reading her texts and based on what you write here, that your challenge is to, over all, get her to open up to you on her most intimate levels.

Agreed, wholeheartedly. This is going to be the biggest challenge, apparently always has been.

I'm guessing that you had a reclaiming and the second part of the story you were saving?

The night with Mr B still has something that isn't quite adding up. It's not worth revisiting at this point. Maybe someday but not now.

I'm sure mr s isn't letting her onto the full scope of his relationship for obvious reasons.

What is up with Mr M? Is he off the roster?

People are still traveling. I haven't heard of additional restrictions.

How's the hotwife dirty talk now? Is she saying anything that blows your mind?

[solstice]

Although your reporting of SW hotwife's journey have been detailed and intimate, I still can't work out the motivation for her not sharing all with you: Although it can't be helped by in the uncertainties that S conveys. If he wants to fuck your wife, he should display a bit of enthusiasm. Your advice and support to your wife should make her a lot more candid to you regarding the juicy details.