Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[solstice]

One of the problems SW is facing, many middle age guys come with built in complications: ex wife's and children with often poor relations between them, call me heartless, but does your wife want to listen to tales of woe from previous marital obstacle's ?

[slenderfish]

$10k a month is more than I bring home. He must really be making bank. He's gotta be making 400-500k per year minimum. Does he own a business?

It seems like the home trip hotwifing is over. Maybe once the dust settles she'll be interested in something local. I'd say that this is a good time to stop extramarital activity if you want to stop it.

Perhaps it's ideal. If the right situation arises (pun intended) then she can be open to it but all of this drama and secrecy can stop. If you want to stop, now is the time. Perhaps once a year or so some situation will happen and you can be Eiffel towering your wife.

He is a highly-paid salesperson. Income varies per month and year. His biggest complaint is that he had a stellar year in 2019 but in the pandemic environment he will not make even half that (as proven in 2020). He said some months he will not even take home 10k, prior to the support payment.

He's screwed.

[slenderfish]

One of the problems SW is facing, many middle age guys come with built in complications: ex wife's and children with often poor relations between them, call me heartless, but does your wife want to listen to tales of woe from previous marital obstacle's ?

LOL yes, this is a challenge. I'd suggested to SW that she offer him a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, but that the sobfest be limited to 30 minutes maximum.

[slenderfish]

Can I am assuming that SW is a natural submissive when comes to sex?

Yes and no. I haven't fully proven this out. When we were first dating, she showed strong signs of being submissive. I tested it a bit.

But over the years, I observe that we have been trading roles at any given time.

Every once in a while, I will strategically push hard into the more dominant role and she quickly moves into sub role. So overall, I do believe she is submissive.

But she also waxes dominant from time to time. Perhaps this is the normal behavior of a sub, testing the resolve of the dom?

[Mark K]

This is changing and of late she has (on my encouragement) started wearing plunge dresses and shorter skirts. She also resisted for many years shaving "down there" and wore grandma panties. Luckily, that has changed as she realized it was more of a fashion thing to wear thong-types and to shave, versus a sexy or slutty thing.

I am sure it is nice to see, and you are enjoying, these changes. Curious to know if, back in normal times, if SW ever got a bikini wax at a spa, instead of just shaving? She seems like she might be the type. It is definitely sort of barbaric in a way for sure. The end results, for both partners, are worth the pain and suffering, and the two-week grow in period prior to; at least my wife and I think so.

[slenderfish]

SF / I bought some inexpensive latex-type slutty wear not too long ago and she quietly accepted it, put it away, and I never saw it again.
You bought this cheap outfit for a women who spends how much money on clothes? I expect it will end up in the trash. If it hasn't already.
For someone who claims he knows his wife he doesn't know squat!! If I'd have been your wife (short prayer: thank you God that I am not) I'd have told you where to shove it! OUCH> I have a little more respect for SW. Butt definitely not what I'd have done.

I was testing out if she had any interest in going to the low-slut look. Found out without much effort or cost.

[slenderfish]

Here's some advice that I know you won't take. Ask her for the cheap latex-type slutty outfit back and let her see you put it in the trash. Then apologize for buying it. You'll be very surprised with her reaction.

I used the cheap outfit to start a conversation about her dressing sexy, even in the bedroom with just the two of us. This was over five years ago. She wasn't into it back then, not even bikini or nice lingerie.

We did had the proper conversation about it back then, and I did apologize. Was not a big deal at the time. A dumb costume she declined.

But over the past year I have suggested some high-end lingerie and she said she will consider it, but she insists she must pick the items out with me. That works! It shows some easing into the concept. Though I have tried to schedule a shopping trip for this, she continues in practice to demur.

[slenderfish]

I am sure it is nice to see, and you are enjoying, these changes. Curious to know if, back in normal times, if SW ever got a bikini wax at a spa, instead of just shaving? She seems like she might be the type. It is definitely sort of barbaric in a way for sure. The end results, for both partners, are worth the pain and suffering, and the two-week grow in period prior to; at least my wife and I think so.

She went many steps farther than what you noted above. She has, since I met her, made taking care of her skin a prime directive. That continues and she really became interested in understanding more about it all. So she asked if I'd support her going back to school for an esthetician license, and of course I agreed. It took almost two years of part- and then some full-time to get the schooling done, then there was the studying for the state-administered written and the practical exams. She passed these without too much difficulty.

My point here is that she gave and received a lot of waxing. She volunteered me for some, as well, for her and a couple of the other women she befriended to practice on. Only for waxing my back.

As a side note, several of the women in the class did take a fancy to SW. One kept inviting her to lunch, they played hooky a couple of times (not returning to class after lunch with wine), and ultimately one time we went over to her house and met her husband. While there we had food, drinks, music, etc. and the woman asked my permission to make love to SW. I told this woman that it's okay with me, but that she really needs to get permission from SW and that it is a big ask that probably won't work out. But worth proposing.

I mean, by this time SW certainly had the idea of what was probably driving all the attention.

I was correct; she was considerate in her declining to go there. And she likes to tell the story. Told it to her niece a couple of weeks ago.

[afagehi7]

If I'd have been your wife (short prayer: thank you God that I am not)

I don't know what kind of guys you are getting. Fish is attractive, in shape, hard working, earns good money, and treats sw well. I don't think many women do better than him which is why he's got a smoking hot wife. The term in the dating jargon is "high value man"

My wife would likely trade me in for him.

[Freemans892]

If I'd have been your wife (short prayer: thank you God that I am not)

I don't know what kind of guys you are getting. Fish is attractive, in shape, hard working, earns good money, and treats sw well. I don't think many women do better than him which is why he's got a smoking hot wife. The term in the dating jargon is "high value man"

My wife would likely trade me in for him.

There is also the 80 / 20 theory. 80% of women are highly attractive to the top 20% of guys. Probably Fish is in that top 20%. The remaining 80% of guys need to work harder to get the girl.

I don’t think your typical normal married guy would get an invitation to stay at a highly attractive divorcee, with money, ski cabin (when skiing next) whom they have just met at a party. So how Fish gets the invite. Mr. E and Fish boys night out is also not your normal boys night out, I.e. incorporating Ms. C (a former playboy model) into your party.

[Freemans892]

Af7
When I was born, I was dropped off at a hospital entrance. Grew up in 9 mostly sexually abusive foster homes. Never graduated from HS. I have 3 kiddo's from 3 different men. I am petite and I believe I am above average looking with average boobs. By the time I was 17 I had been fucked by multiple foster parents (m+f) their friends and family members. I married my youngest kids dad after he was born. My hubby is a high ranking biker gang member who treats me pretty well. We live in a nice mobile home in a pretty nice park. I fuck who, when and where he chooses and thank God every day for the stability he offers us. Most of the guys I fuck could take Fish and turn him inside out before he knew what happened.

afagehi7 it sounds like your wife is very materialistic. With higher expectations than you have given her. Your wife would be better off with a good biker dude that knows what he wants than Someone like Fish who has difficulty deciding which hand to wipe his butt with.

You and Fish live in two different worlds. I think SW would run a mile to get away from your typical biker dude. The scene that SW is most comfortable with would feel totally out place for a biker dude. I can’t image SW stepping a foot into a dive bar.

[slenderfish]

You and Fish live in two different worlds. I think SW would run a mile to get away from your typical biker dude. The scene that SW is most comfortable with would feel totally out place for a biker dude. I can’t image SW stepping a foot into a dive bar.

I totally agree with you. That post was for Af7. But I do believe she might be more receptive to a man who knows what he wants and doesn't continue to beat around the bush.

I do love this banter and the thinking it provokes in all of us, especially me.

I don't come from high life, or anything near it, but have been on a path that led me here. I can go high or low(er), and and have been in dive bars from time to time, albeit rare. Not afraid of getting physical but also am better with my wits versus my fists.

Perhaps I'll share my story of a dive bar almost 15 years ago with my then-girlfriend Ms. MR, out in the desert. It had to do with a pool table, a bet, and a win.

I am most comfortable in jeans and tee-shirt, and I like getting my hands dirty and greasy working on my car (I have a Toyota Landcruiser acquired new in 1996 now with 399k miles on it).

At the same time, I am able to summons a bit of my gumption and tackle the effort to meet and land the hotties. Probably stems from when I was younger and didn't have the chops to talk to the pretty girls.

Kelly, I was close friends in high school with a young woman with a similar story and treatment from the foster system and screwed over by all the other systems. I think about her from time to time. Her locker was "too high" for her to reach and so she asked me to share with her, which I did. Until, of course, the school found some stuff in her lunch bag that was more "bag" than lunch. That was also the time of PCP. No more shared locker, but our friendship continued.

I'm glad you are with a man who offers this superior level of protection. You deserve it!

[slenderfish]

You and Fish live in two different worlds. I think SW would run a mile to get away from your typical biker dude. The scene that SW is most comfortable with would feel totally out place for a biker dude. I can’t image SW stepping a foot into a dive bar.

I totally agree with you. That post was for Af7. But I do believe she might be more receptive to a man who knows what he wants and doesn't continue to beat around the bush.

I agree, SW would never step into a dive bar. There are a few close to where we live, and I've been to these with friends but we all knew not to consider with SW around.

I am one who is patient to a fault but when it's time for action I'm swift and sure.

[Steamboiler]

The first time was extremely hot AND mentally disturbing! Your mind will play a million tricks on you!
Word of advice! Don’t do stupid stuff! When she text he’s coming to hotel you will have urges to know what is going on. Let her relax. Maybe ask for a bathroom selfie before and after. She is not going to make you a blow job video this first time. But if you truly support her, let her know how hot it was, along with flowers when she arrives home you will be golden. It’s an emotional roller coaster getting started. My wife early on had a lover she REALLY liked. She sent me a video one night. It was super hot until I saw her hand caressing his leg. I know that caress! It took a lot of talking to get past it. Then I accepted she falls in love with each lover. I also learned she gets bored in a few months and wants fresh meat. We actually have a new one now that makes $300k a year, lavishes her with gifts, suites at hotels AND is tall dark and handsome with a long....
He has ZERO chance at anything lasting. The first time he says I want to keep you she will drop him like a hot potato.
Oh about text, they flirt like they are single, I read where my wife said she had feelings for one. Scared me until a month later she said he bored her. They know how to play the game.

[Long Lurker 34]

Fish

I am most comfortable in jeans and tee-shirt, and I like getting my hands dirty and greasy working on my car (I have a Toyota Landcruiser acquired new in 1996 now with 399k miles on it).


Kudos on your abilities with the Landcruiser. And still in good nic I take it.

[slenderfish]

The first time was extremely hot AND mentally disturbing! Your mind will play a million tricks on you!
Word of advice! Don’t do stupid stuff! When she text he’s coming to hotel you will have urges to know what is going on. Let her relax. Maybe ask for a bathroom selfie before and after. She is not going to make you a blow job video this first time. But if you truly support her, let her know how hot it was, along with flowers when she arrives home you will be golden. It’s an emotional roller coaster getting started. My wife early on had a lover she REALLY liked. She sent me a video one night. It was super hot until I saw her hand caressing his leg. I know that caress! It took a lot of talking to get past it. Then I accepted she falls in love with each lover. I also learned she gets bored in a few months and wants fresh meat. We actually have a new one now that makes $300k a year, lavishes her with gifts, suites at hotels AND is tall dark and handsome with a long....
He has ZERO chance at anything lasting. The first time he says I want to keep you she will drop him like a hot potato.
Oh about text, they flirt like they are single, I read where my wife said she had feelings for one. Scared me until a month later she said he bored her. They know how to play the game.

Wow.

Could end up being SW's process, sounds like it.

[slenderfish]

Fish

I am most comfortable in jeans and tee-shirt, and I like getting my hands dirty and greasy working on my car (I have a Toyota Landcruiser acquired new in 1996 now with 399k miles on it).


Kudos on your abilities with the Landcruiser. And still in good nic I take it.

Yes, it's regained position as my main driver, once winter and inclement weather arrived. Was planning to drive it up to ski area for this weekend but changed plans to stay in town to attend a social gathering with SF on Sat night (St. Patrick's Day party).

[slenderfish]

In the face of the evidence you've shared here, it appears you have a hotwife AND a cheating wife. I don't know what your future holds, but without a proper confession from SW, you're in for long-term denial, obfuscation, and outright lies.

Pretty strong evidence, acknowledged. But so far nothing to prove it, and apparently I do like the cat-and-mouse element of it.

Experience with SW has shown that if she is doing any of these things, it'll be a big and heavy conversation but something good will come of it.

If she is not, but rather going up to the edge without going over the edge, then it's all her getting used to her new hotwife self. Or, at least, getting used to herself in ways that are germane to the hotwife lifestyle.

[solstice]

One thing is certain, you live an exciting and eventful life.

[BallSpanking]

Hi, SF ...
I was wondering, now that Mr S is in the rearview mirror, has there been any mention from SW as to looking/finding a new FB?

[anonymister1948]

In the face of the evidence you've shared here, it appears you have a hotwife AND a cheating wife. I don't know what your future holds, but without a proper confession from SW, you're in for long-term denial, obfuscation, and outright lies.

Pretty strong evidence, acknowledged. But so far nothing to prove it, and apparently I do like the cat-and-mouse element of it.

Experience with SW has shown that if she is doing any of these things, it'll be a big and heavy conversation but something good will come of it.

If she is not, but rather going up to the edge without going over the edge, then it's all her getting used to her new hotwife self. Or, at least, getting used to herself in ways that are germane to the hotwife lifestyle.

You've watched the night of pole dance for Mr. B's video a lot more than I, but it's impossible for me to see it and NOT think that when he took her hand and led her to your bedroom, she didn't fuck him. The picture your words have painted in my head is a wife who flirts, shakes her ass, and invites a single man to stay after everyone else leaves and takes him to bed. Of course, you can't PROVE it. The only way to prove it would be for her to tell the truth.

I know you value the Des and Gigi story but there is a large difference between what they have done and what you are attempting. For one, Gigi came clean right away and showed remorse. Secondly, from the very beginning, this was a team sport with Des. She hasn't fucked other men and kept it to herself. She understands the value of Des. SW seems to follow her own path, not tell the truth, and from what you've painted, could care less if you get anything out of this or not.

[BallSpanking]

I'm with SF on this one.
He has stated it time and time again.
There is NO prima facie evidence that SW fucked Mr B or cheated.
Her excuse might sound lame to some, but it is also perfectly plausible.
Whether or not readers believe her excuse, is immaterial.
What is important is what SF thinks, and what it would mean to him.
I think the point doesn't need any further belaboring. SF knows what he has, and is fine with it.

[anonymister1948]

Deleted in the interest of keeping peace.

[afagehi7]

Deleted in the interest of keeping peace.

Fish is fully aware. Him continuing to challenge her has no positive outcome... only negative. If she never fesses up then he'll never know. He can only be careful from that point forward, which he is. There is nothing more that can be done about the Mr B evening.

[BallSpanking]

Not sure what Anonymister wrote and deleted, but his initiative in keeping the dialogue civil is commendable.
(If it related to my preceding comment, I apologize if I caused offense, none was intended.)