Hotwives, where are you on the Love Spectrum 1-10 ?

[pixwellguy]

This is interesting as my gf has been asking me lately if she can per-sue another relationship outside ours where shes free to date and develope feelings. Looks like we are going to test this out some as shes going on a second date with a guy tonight.

I hope you'll encourage her...it can be the most incredible, intense way to share her. I've been reading your other thread and will comment there.

[54321]

Interesting to see how this graph is changing as more people vote.

As I pointed out before, I expected a straightforward binomial bell curve with the most in the middle (the norm!) and the fewest at the outer limits.
Indeed, we did find a binomial BUT:
a) it was quite skewed towards more connection
b) quite contrary to the binomial, there are quite large groups at the fringes ie. the 'it's only sex' (or near enough) group and the 'full blown love affair' (or near enough) group.

These trends have continued but the binomial is now less skewed and more of a normal bell shape so where does that leave us? It would seem that:

About 20% of Hotwives absolutely want to 'play it safe'. For them, it's 'sex, no strings' and they are extremely careful not to endanger their primary relationship.
About 20% fearlessly embrace loving their lovers. They've discovered that they can completely go with it, ride it out and come out the other side. I think that these women are very passionate and love the drama, excitement, thrills and tears of falling in and out of love but are smart enough to know that their husbands will love them long after their lovers have come (cum?) and gone.
About 60% of Hotwives are shaping up to the expected binomial trend (more people in the middle and fewer towards the extreme). They like some connection but are wary of too much so they seek a balance that they feel comfortable with.

[54321]

It's changed a little more.

It's mostly the same BUT the proportion of 'all in' hotwives has increased.

It now seems that about 30% of hotwives are 9-10's ('all in')
Compared to about 20% of hotwives are 1-2's (sex only)

The (rather ragged) binomial in the middle remains stable.

Dear registered hotwives, have you all voted yet? I think your contribution is particularly valuable.

Thank you for all the help so far,

54321

[Des 31]

An emotional bond typically develops between my 34-year-old wife and others when they have been together for a while, but it isn't the same as that within our marriage. Over the past seven years she has been fucking others, only a few have expressed "love" in the most understood sense. When that comes about, she has what she calls "The Talk." She typically tells anyone she has sex with it's to be just "for fun." When anyone has suggested she marry or move in with him and The Talk doesn't clear up the misunderstanding, she ended the relationship. The way she sees it is that the two are "sexual friends" and has said at times, "Fucking seems like the friendliest thing friends can do." For us, that works best and it has improved our marriage, which was solid even before she began dating others. She just needs more sex than we had after having been married a couple of years. Now, the sex between the two of us is better and more frequent, and we can thank the other guys for that.

She has found all her extramarital relationships ultimately have an expiration date, something like the warranty on a kitchen appliance. Guys become engaged or married, move away, or she and another guy just move on to someone else. The words, "I love you," have come about at times when the sex is hot between her and another, but those momentary feelings dissipate soon after orgasms. The words are sincere emotions of the moment but without any lasting meaning.

So I gave your poll a "six."

[mr-nobody]

My wife caramel55 and I have discussed this already. She can't just have sex with someone she just met. She also can't keep it as just sex in her mind that would be too clinical for her. She just can't compartmentalize like that. She has to feel a connection on some level. She does not want to be in love with him but let's call it a certain fondness. In English we are plagued by the fact that we only have one word for love. But we all know many other languages have many different words for the different levels of love one can feel for another human being. My wife hasn't taken the plunge yet we're still looking for the right person. But she prefers to call what she is looking for a friend with benefits.

I got so wordy I forgot to say that she is about a 7 on the scale.

[Hildasw]

For us, for her, it's about sex and sex only. When she feels any connection either by her by him she ends it immediately.

Absolutely the same. We are clear this is about fun uncomplicated sex.

Hilda

[Hildasw]

My wife caramel55 and I have discussed this already. She can't just have sex with someone she just met. She also can't keep it as just sex in her mind that would be too clinical for her. She just can't compartmentalize like that. She has to feel a connection on some level. She does not want to be in love with him but let's call it a certain fondness. In English we are plagued by the fact that we only have one word for love. But we all know many other languages have many different words for the different levels of love one can feel for another human being. My wife hasn't taken the plunge yet we're still looking for the right person. But she prefers to call what she is looking for a friend with benefits.

I got so wordy I forgot to say that she is about a 7 on the scale.

We are different. I have to like the guy and have some attraction but just love being fucked by a guy I have just met. Every experience is different and fun - especially if the guy tests our limits.

Friends with benefits is a great title and describes those we play multiple times with.

Hilda

[54321]

We are clear this is about fun uncomplicated sex.

So are you a 1 or a 2 maybe, Hildasw?

54321

[Parsifal]

Gala doesn't love any of hers. Her dates are sex only..
So 1. She terms the relation as "feels comfortable with" and the comfort level she feels varies among the current three.

[Des 31]

I'm reasonably sure most wives will find love for another man once she has had sex with him for an extended time. My wife has done this often, and she has my support. It's more meaningful.

Most don't know that a man's sperm enters a woman's bloodstream and ultimately the brain. The effects are numerous but include elevated mood changes, a feeling of love for the man, and results in a desire to sleep. Most importantly perhaps is the effect of bonding with the other man. Knowledge of this by a wife and her husband as to why this happens can be a stop-gap to causing problems within a marriage. For my wife, that closeness she feels for another makes the sex more meaningful.

I approve and am supportive - and it's exciting for me also, knowing my wife is fulfilled by her guys she fucks.

~ Des

[SSQ]

I don't like artificial restrictions. I like to feel free to engage with people in any way that is mutually agreeable. That could be anything from an anonymous one night stand to a polyamorous live-in relationship.

I am not a big fan of saying that I'd be one number or another because that's too rigid for me. Life doesn't fit well into little boxes, and even if it does, it's not comfortable.

[Caramel55]

My wife caramel55 and I have discussed this already. She can't just have sex with someone she just met. She also can't keep it as just sex in her mind that would be too clinical for her. She just can't compartmentalize like that. She has to feel a connection on some level. She does not want to be in love with him but let's call it a certain fondness. In English we are plagued by the fact that we only have one word for love. But we all know many other languages have many different words for the different levels of love one can feel for another human being. My wife hasn't taken the plunge yet we're still looking for the right person. But she prefers to call what she is looking for a friend with benefits.

I got so wordy I forgot to say that she is about a 7 on the scale.

Ha, I just found this thread. A 7 would be great, but a 5 is manageable. I wonder what number is - not a stranger anymore. Limpy was practically a stranger.

[54321]

Bump

[54321]

It would be great to hear from the 20% or so 'full blown affair' hotwives.
They and their adoring hotwife husbands clearly enjoy a wild ride.

How they navigate such strong emotions is something that everyone here
(me included) can learn from.

Please share here or post a link to your existing threads.

Thank you.

54321

[hotwifetrained]

I think my wife is interested in venturing out into the higher end of the spectrum.
She hasn't played in a long time and just started looking for a new guy a few weeks ago. She has new things she wants to experience. In the past, I have almost always been there with her. Now she wants to start dating solo.

She has been texting a guy for about two weeks now. She is definitley interested in him and planning to meet soon. She asked me how I would feel about her spending the night with him. The more she talks about it the more it excites me. The talk expanded from there to ask me how I would feel about a weekend with him and then even a week long vacation.

This is only beginning, but like I said, the more she talks about it the more exciting I am finding it.

We will see where this goes.

[troilusand]

It would be great to hear from the 20% or so 'full blown affair' hotwives.
They and their adoring hotwife husbands clearly enjoy a wild ride.

How they navigate such strong emotions is something that everyone here
(me included) can learn from.

Please share here or post a link to your existing threads.

Thank you.

54321

As I posted on a different thread, 54321, Cressida is not active here so I posted what I'm certain to be correct: 10.

Early in our marriage I caught her cheating . I knew before we married she was a slut, but I thought marriage would change that. Right! But I was blind-sided when asked her if she loved him and she said, "Yes." That threw me for a loop and I asked her if she wanted a divorce. To which she vehemently replied not. She was "in love" with him -- but loved me more. The affair ended days later.

After years of cheating love affairs, she finally believed that I WANTED her to fuck other men, and not just so I could get outside pussy, but because I really enjoyed hearing her new revelations about how many, and with whom she cheated on me with and what a cheap slut she was. I knew that her affairs were LOVE affairs (because when she revealed them she'd tell me just how much in love they were) and I became conditioned not to be threatened by them. So I slowly transitioned from stag to cuckold to poly/cuck. While Cressida enjoyed a few wild one-offs, her preference was always to have a deep relationship with whatever man she desired. And I grew to love watching her fall in love!

I loved the risk that one day she might find the right man to take her away...and that I was a party to that process by encouraging the growth of their bond to each other. I never pushed her away, except with the last guy, Diomedes. They had close to a 10 year co-marriage and for the last 3 of them I never fucked Cressida as I wanted his semen alone to enter and be absorbed by my wife. I knew that exclusive bareback sex makes a close couple even closer.

Yeah, I liked playing with fire; besides, it also massaged my cuckold self deprecation that since I was such a loser at sex, I didn't deserve pussy. Especially Cressida's, since Diomedes was the best fuck she'd ever had in her life -- and she'd had plenty.

Feel free to ask questions or PM me.

Troilus

[Des 31]

My wife has really, really loved several men who have been fucking her for a while. She and they have expressed their feelings in the heat of sex. Still, when she is leaving their places, or when they leave ours, her emotions remain at arm's length. She appreciates my approval and encouragement of hr sleeping with other guys, and our way of life has strengthened our marriage.

I have learned the passion during hot sex can easily be so overwhelming that love is a part of the physical and emotional union when a man and woman are fucking.

[gwl9dta4]

Why does it feel like Option 10 has been voted on by all the lurking men most living in fantasy and with no partner ?

[gwl9dta4]

My wife has really, really loved several men who have been fucking her for a while. She and they have expressed their feelings in the heat of sex. Still, when she is leaving their places, or when they leave ours, her emotions remain at arm's length. She appreciates my approval and encouragement of hr sleeping with other guys, and our way of life has strengthened our marriage.

I have learned the passion during hot sex can easily be so overwhelming that love is a part of the physical and emotional union when a man and woman are fucking.

Yes but was called "pillow love" in the past or "pillow talk" and had no transference to the real world outside of the Erotica during peak sex.

[54321]

Why does it feel like Option 10 has been voted on by all the lurking men most living in fantasy and with no partner ?

I hope not. This poll is intended to give us all a clearer insight into hotwifing and managing emotion. It's not for wanking over.

Some of those in full on emotional relationships have shared their feelings in this thread. Perhaps some of the 'sex only' wives might share their views with us too.

Thank you in anticipation

54321

[Wooster]

We started out with my wife casually dating other guys, but it did little for her. After a few years of her occasionally seeing someone, she just stopped doing it. What she wanted, she said, was a real relationship, not just a FWB. I readily agreed, and she started looking for a more serious boyfriend. After a few weird dates and false starts, she met a guy she really connected with on a deeper level, and they’ve been together ever since. They are deeply in love with each other, and we are all happy with our situation.

[BT2]

My wife is not on this Forum, but I believe I know the answer. She has to like the guy if she is to have sex with him on an ongoing basis. She may even get to love the guy IN A SAFE SORT OF WAY (like love for a good friend). If the emotions go beyond that, e.g. romantic love, I believe the relationship must end.

[54321]

For the longest time, the two polar extremes ie. the 'sex only' group and the 'love without limits' group were neck and neck but recently, the 'love without limits' group has forged ahead. Why is this?

Is there a sudden increase in the number of 'love without limits' hotwives joining this site?
Have existing OHW hotwives changed over time and developed to the point that they are no longer satisfied with casual extra marital relationships?
Have men on the site who fantasise about 'love without limits' hotwives subverted the study and added their votes?

The only way to tell is by running this poll again in the Ladies' Lounge. I cannot access this of course but maybe one of the registered hotwives or one of the moderators would like to run it in the Ladies' Lounge for a month or so and then get back to us with the results?

If you are a registered hotwife or moderator and would like to help me out in this way, please DM me.

Thank you and best wishes,

54321

[Bnc63]

I answered 10 for my wife. She will only give herself to a man she could see herself falling in love with. It doesn’t always happen that way but that’s her ideal situation!

[Wooster]

For the longest time, the two polar extremes ie. the 'sex only' group and the 'love without limits' group were neck and neck but recently, the 'love without limits' group has forged ahead. Why is this?

For us (and perhaps for others here), the rise of polyamory in popular culture was a big factor. Having ready access to information about people who are making poly work for them showed us what was possible beyond “just sex.” Now there are books, podcasts, and tv shows featuring women (and men, but that’s not relevant here) loving more than one person. Seeing that many people are able to make that work is reassuring.