Question: Does she share the text messages with you?

[Pinks Hubby]

In my original thread, Sharing advice and experience, (http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=39522), I mentioned that I would be posting threads in the future about about certain effects of hotwifing on a husband. This is so that future people who come here have a concise group of threads to learn the best ways to deal with them.

Does she share the text messages with you?

There must be hundreds, if not thousands, of text messages that she sends and receives (especially if there is NRE involved). Some of these come while she is spending time with you, many do not. Does she share these with you?

I think that votes are anonymous, if you are worried about selecting number 5 or 6.

[Samanthasman]

I occasionally read her messages in front of her. She does not stop me. It's part of our open and honest policy. Frankly, it's to her advantage to have me read them, because my imagination is worse than reality.

When we got started, she was skittish about this. She probably deleted some messages out of fear that it would make me jealous. This caused some road bumps. She was also uncomfortable with me being in the room if she was on the phone. It's much better now.

Funny thing, she recently invited me to go on a date with a woman online. I'm still "dipping my toes in the water" and not sure where that might go, but I admit its exciting. After exchanging many text messages with a prospect my wife picked up my phone and started looking at the messages. I have admit I felt vulnerable and maybe even a little violated, but I just sat there squirming and let of read what she wanted. Fair is fair. Perhaps it's good to see and experience things from the other's view.

[SSQ]

I share messages occasionally if I think my boy would be interested.

I don't share personal conversations. Everyone needs some privacy. I would not want other people sharing my text messages without permission.

[kristin4441]

I share messages occasionally if I think my boy would be interested.

I don't share personal conversations. Everyone needs some privacy. I would not want other people sharing my text messages without permission.

I do the same

[DaBolts]

I selected the first option but I can't be 100% sure she does not delete some of the messages.

[Mrs E]

I have three categories of electronic communication: hotwifing, vanilla personal, and business.

Hotwifing material is completely open to Mr E, though at this point he doesn't see all of it. I read or give the phone to him to share communications he might enjoy. If he asked to see everything he would be able to of course. We hold joint accounts on some lifestyle sites.

The others? They're private, business especially so, given the nature of my work.

I also have to say that if you want to see everything, it's important to not just jump onto your hotwife when you read something you don't like. I'm not saying don't discuss it - in fact just the opposite - but that discussion will go a lot better if you can keep it together enough to discuss it.

The one place where we will likely have an easier time is that we expect that I might become emotionally attached to a lover from time to time and he isn't freaked out by reading messages of that nature.

[davelover]

I selected the first option but I can't be 100% sure she does not delete some of the messages.

That seems like a problem.

[DaBolts]

I selected the first option but I can't be 100% sure she does not delete some of the messages.

That seems like a problem.

It would be a problem if it's the case. I don't think she does but I can't say it's not possible. We don't lock our phones and we both have easy access to them.

[beamish_boy]

I'm free to read whatever I'd like on her phone, but I usually wait for her to suggest I read messages. Conversations not pertaining to HW stuff (there are a few guys she has met along the way who have become friends but aren't playmates) are private and I don't read those.

[relentless1]

i never ask to see her phone, or look without asking. she does however share the occasional snippet of text conversations to get me going, but i know there is a lot more i don't see, but that is up to her.

[DedicatedHubby2013]

I don't ask to see her texts.

She shares some high level details with me, as far as who is contacting her or when her next play date is or whether some one is extra excited to see her, but so far I haven't directly read any of the text messages from her lovers.
The relationship stuff is something she has fun with, and I don't need to pry into that. I trust her to tell me if any of her relationships begin to affect the marriage and her feelings for me.
I am more interested in hearing more details about her in person physical activities with the guys, instead of flirty banter.

[Fox]

My wife actually likes me reading as many of the messages as I can. I love it too. So hot reading their exchanges. Especially the dirty things she texts to them.

[slenderfish]

I like all of it but she tends to delete. She says it is just her normal process to delete but I know she just wants her privacy. She makes a modest effort to share or let me know, which I do appreciate.

[Suchagoodgirl]

I can look whenever I want and I do occasionally. I used to read them a lot more than I do now. I'm usually hoping to find something steamy. Sometimes I find something juicy, other times I'm reminded of how different men are than women. Deleting messages would seem like a problem. In the early years of figuring out the lifestyle she did some deleting and it was an issue. Sometimes she just got embarrassed. Sometimes she texted something drunk and regretted it and didn't want me to see. The only time it was a problem was if she was hiding feelings. But that was a small symptom of a much larger problem that we were both responsible for creating. She's an open book now.

Edit: Now I do think it's important to give he space to create the relationship and connection she needs without having to worry about what I will think about every comment or emotion or action she takes. It took a while to get her but now I understand that she is going to develop some level of feelings with her regular boyfriends. It's going to be an emotional roller coaster at times especially if she really likes the guy. She needs to feel supported more than analyzed in this lifestyle.

[zorro]

Yes. Routinely. We share texts to hold down suspiciousness and to make it part of our fun and eroticism.

[Shadnaster]

This is how it all started with us. Her having sex chats with guys online and me reading them later. She like how it got me hard.

[PANTIES]

Her phone and purse are off limits completely to me. I don’t dare touch either. Her life with her lover are done of my concern this is a result of my asking him to become the man in her life .

Pauline

[himnher143]

Panties, I’m the same way concerning her purse , I guess I was raised to never pilfer through any woman’s purse , L will ask me to bring her something out of her purse and I always go get the purse and bring it to her to get whatever she needs .

Concerning her text messages, I’m at liberty to look at anything at anytime, I choose not to do so , sometimes she will come home and tell me she heard from so and so today about getting together, you can read if you want to , and she pulls it up and hands me her phone , while reading it , I can see that several others have talked to her today also , she didn’t mention for me to read those messages so I don’t , only what she tells me I can .

We have joint accounts on dating sights , but her Kik sight is hers and hers only , she can share with me whatever she wants , but that is hers to say what ever she pleases, without any rebuttal from me .

[iloanmywife]

It's funny that we've gradually hopped through most of these answers as our hotwife marriage has matured. We've landed on the last option. Her phone is off limits to me.

Early on this was a point of contention for us. I always wanted to read every single text message, but my wife didn't understand why I cared since 95% of the messages were just boring small talk.

She's more of a deleter than I am. I keep every message/email/phone message/picture and rarely delete anything, while my wife sometimes cleans up her inbox and texts. That caused me some heartburn, since I wanted to read even the smalltalk. From my perspective, even random banter is hot if that random banter is with a guy trying to get in my wife's pants. When I'd ask to see some of the messages, she'd tell me that she already deleted them. That usually made it worse, since it seemed like she was hiding some juicy conversation. Moreover, she'd often forget to mention the spicy details about her conversations (e.g., a guy sending a video of himself jacking off on her picture). "Why would you want to hear about that?"

From her perspective, she didn't want her husband reading over her shoulder. She loves to chat with guys to establish a connection, especially when meeting someone new. That's hard to do if you think that every conversation is being monitored. But I still wanted to read her conversations, so I'd occasionally try to find a time when she didn't have her phone. Yes, it was usually just small talk, but it still made my dick hard. But then eventually she caught me snooping. It was late at night after drinking and I accidentally clicked on her boyfriend's number and it dialed. I hung up, but the damage was done. He texted her the next day asking if she had tried calling. She confronted me and I fessed up and felt so ashamed of myself.

For a while we didn't change anything. I'd occasionally look at her phone or ask to see it. She always assumed I was looking so she deleted most of her messages. It took the fun out of her conversations, and I felt like I was being a buzzkill to her hooking up [Narrator: He was]. So I asked her to change her passcode and not tell me. Her phone is now 100% off limits to me, and we MUCH prefer it that way. For guys we both know, we have group chats or kik groups that we use. If she talks to someone on her own, she's her own woman.

[Farmgirl]

My Number1 doesn't read my phone, he believes that would be a breach of privacy and trust. But, I do tell him about my texts and read the really good ones to him. Most texts are just normal chit-chat .

[BBCfan]

My wife is in contact with most of her significant past boyfriends...I know some flirt with her occasionally but she hasn't appeared to flirt back.

I search her phone when I get a chance. It is thrilling to do as I'm always nervous and "afraid" I'll find something when I do...I rarely find anything.

She knows I do, and we have an open phone policy but I get a thrill sneaking on it while she's asleep. If someone has been inappropriate she will usually tell me and let me see the interaction.

When guys flirt, she has always been respectful to me...of course she could delete some messages.

The only thing offside I thought was her forwarding a video someone sent her that showed well hung black guys and tiny dick white guys... it was comparing them and saying how superior black guys are as lovers.

She sent to a few people as a joke, me included, but seeing she sent it to a well hung black ex boyfriend she said was an amazing lover and who knows she's dating a white guy now kinda shocked me... I figured that was likely a friendly wink to him but I felt quite disrespected by the action. She denied any hidden meaning and just thought it was funny. I still don't don't quite buy that though.