POLL: Complicated beginnings, loose ends...

[wildrollercoaster]

This is a question for couples, about your beginnings.

[Marinecuckplease]

My wife was a virgin as far as i know. But i am a wannabe still

[tractorman2]

Met the future Mrs TM2 as she turned 16, months later she gave me her virginity, then shortly afterwards she phoned me and confessed that she had been out that evening with another man, it turned out he was about 35, she had met him when he worked at her school so he knew her age, she used to flirt with him but she didnt want to loose her virginity to him. (He had a daughter at the same school wearing the same uniform, he lusted after her in).

Freed of her virginity topless in his car she bottled doing what she had intended to do, mainly because a friend of mine saw them.

Years later i told her how mean it was to let him see and feel her young breasts then say no to him.

I should have realised then that she was a sexually adventrous girl.

[Her number1]

Wellll, considering she was a bit past her 13th birthday when we became a couple, she wasn't with anyone else for a while.

[xxxprincess]

So, he never asked and I never told, but I never hid anything from him. He would come to my work and walk right past one of my guys as they left from visiting me. He knew I'd been kicking it with guy #3, as well as I'd already made plans with guy #3, so turned down plans with him. I was dating 5 guys, but only sleeping with 1 before I met him.

We were together for two years before he brought this lifestyle up and it was only after he'd spent a week in Vegas. So I assumed he'd cheated and felt guilty, so then i really wasnt interested in HW'ing because I figured he just wanted his cake and eat it, too. He sexually rejected me the vast majority of the time during the first three years of our relationship. Looking back, I wonder if he was trying to force me to cheat, so he could get what he wanted without bringing up his "dirty secret." Then we finally did it with one of his friends and our sex life was fantastic for a few months.

Now, it's been a years since the last time we played and our sex life sucks again and has for a few years now. I still wonder if he's secretly gay because he has zero interest in me unless a man is involved. I think I'm just an excuse like a vessel for what he really wants. Oh well....it is what it is. Ten years together this year total. I'm getting too old to start over. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

[wildrollercoaster]

Regarding my wife, the accurate answers are a little fuzzy because it's a matter of opinion exactly when we became "a couple". She'd been living the life of a beautiful, independent single woman when she and I began dating. I later learned that while I chivalrously took things slowly, she accepted an invitation to go out with a particular hot guy whom she'd just met. On their third date they began fucking, and before long she was secretly juggling the two of us. So that's one new concurrent suitor by the time we became a couple, but there are also one or two other subsequent flings who might qualify, depending on interpretation of timing. It also turned out that she had an existing lover whom she'd been seeing for about a year, whenever he'd come to town, and continued for a while once she and I began dating.

[jw_kk]

KK secretly had sex with multiple men, and women from the time we started dating, became a "steady" couple, and throughout our engagement.

I found out about it years later, and accede to the possibility that I still don't know about everything/everyone she did in that time period.

[isinlarsa]

My wife was dating a lot of men when we met. At first, she just saw me as one more guy. At about the same time she and I started to date, she also started going out with another man. She didn''t hide it from me that she couldn't go out with me one weekend, because she had a date of the other man. We had fucked by that time, and she let me know she intended to have him fuck her, too. I had been in howife relationships before, and was turned on that I wasn't the only one fucking her. Unfortunate for my proclivity, the next time we dated, she indicated that she wanted our relationship to be exclusive, and she stopped dating the other guy. Only 18 years later, and after we had been married 16 years did she decide she wanted to date other men again.

[Cdncuck]

Complicated beginning and loose ending.
Once she began, her ends got looser

[zorro]

And of course there are so many men who will never know what she did -- unless she chose to tell him.
My experience when I was single and dating single women was that it was common for them to play with other guys as well as me.

I came to figure that is just normal, healthy, female behavior and got over it.

[wildrollercoaster]

And of course there are so many men who will never know what she did -- unless she chose to tell him.
My experience when I was single and dating single women was that it was common for them to play with other guys as well as me.

I came to figure that is just normal, healthy, female behavior and got over it.

When dating, it became my policy not to ask the relationship status of women I'd meet. I'd learned from experience that if a woman didn't volunteer such information, there was a good chance she'd instinctively downplay it if I put her on the spot -- especially if she really liked me and didn't want to scare me away. I'd learned that there's almost no such thing as an attractive, eligible woman who didn't have some kind of lingering emotional entanglement, and I made a point not to naively pretend otherwise. If a woman had relationship issues to resolve, even just emotionally, that was up to her, and I didn't try to stick my nose into such matters or press her for representations she might later regret.

One point of reference for that approach, btw, was the huge difference I noticed between the way women (and undoubtedly men) portray their emotional availability to a potential date, compared to what they talk about with trusted friends. It's rarely as simple as "single" vs. "in a relationship".

[Very Hot Wife]

Becky and I met around 25 years ago. She had just finished a LTR and was enjoying herself to the limit.

She had a good job, own house and everything going for her. She told me that she had 7-8 lovers, some weekly and others less frequently. It generally worked out that she would have sex 2-3 times week with different guys, mostly overnight at hers. It was a perfect lifestyle for her.

We started to get serious, but we were both happy for her to sleep with other guys. She found new lovers after we met and the original crew naturally fell by the way.

Things have moved along the same track ever since, with guys coming into her life and then drifting away once they realised she didn't want a conventional relationship.

She did keep one guy for many years and we still see him socially now. They haven't had sex for a long time, but he's become a good friend.

[afagehi7]

So, he never asked and I never told, but I never hid anything from him. He would come to my work and walk right past one of my guys as they left from visiting me. He knew I'd been kicking it with guy #3, as well as I'd already made plans with guy #3, so turned down plans with him. I was dating 5 guys, but only sleeping with 1 before I met him.

We were together for two years before he brought this lifestyle up and it was only after he'd spent a week in Vegas. So I assumed he'd cheated and felt guilty, so then i really wasnt interested in HW'ing because I figured he just wanted his cake and eat it, too. He sexually rejected me the vast majority of the time during the first three years of our relationship. Looking back, I wonder if he was trying to force me to cheat, so he could get what he wanted without bringing up his "dirty secret." Then we finally did it with one of his friends and our sex life was fantastic for a few months.

Now, it's been a years since the last time we played and our sex life sucks again and has for a few years now. I still wonder if he's secretly gay because he has zero interest in me unless a man is involved. I think I'm just an excuse like a vessel for what he really wants. Oh well....it is what it is. Ten years together this year total. I'm getting too old to start over. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

He could be closet gay. I'd think you would see signs, looking at guys or porn. If this is the case he could be hooking up outside, grinder or even the local YMCA (not really the Y but some place where gays cruise). I think you would see signs

[wildrollercoaster]

I still wonder if he's secretly gay because he has zero interest in me unless a man is involved.

Maybe -- and maybe not. It's common for people to lose interest in sex within a relationship, and normal for sexual instinct to be jolted back to life by sexual competition.

[wildrollercoaster]

... I came to figure that is just normal, healthy, female behavior and got over it.

... I'd learned from experience that if a woman didn't volunteer such information, there was a good chance she'd instinctively downplay it if I put her on the spot -- especially if she really liked me and didn't want to scare me away. I'd learned that there's almost no such thing as an attractive, eligible woman who didn't have some kind of lingering emotional entanglement...

Emphasizing the point, I notice that three days into the poll the number of "Didn't have sex with anybody else" votes is substantially outstripped by the total of those who had sex with one or more existing lovers or exes (without even getting into juggling other new suitors).

One consequence of HW relationships is undoubtedly greater openness about such historical matters. I doubt that a poll in a more vanilla realm would yield such revealing results (even allowing for the self-selecting nature of people here).

[annsman]

Ann had a boyfriend when we started dating and she was seeing us both for a month or so, so it was transparent to me, and I think also to him, that she was having sex with both of us.

[Tracey52]

My wife and I were both virgins when we met at 17 and 18 respectively. Been in a monogamous relationship ever since. Wouldn’t change it, but enjoy reading about others’ alternative lifestyles.

[tempus_fugit36]

I continued to have sex intercourse with my ex girlfriend during the time I started a new relationship with my new girlfriend who happen to be my current wife.
My ex girlfriend had many lovers even along our relationship and didn’t mind us to continue to meet for sex.
It was really exciting to have sex with them both sometimes in the same day.

[dp3]

My now wife and I were both married before we started seeing each other, she got a divorce just before I did. We knew each other, but not well. I seen her at a bar about 3 months after her divorce and right after mine. I didn’t realize she was there with another guy and mentioned going out, she smiled and said she was with someone but hadn’t got to a point that she couldn’t go out with me, she gave me her phone number and address and about that time he walked up and gave her a drink. I knew him so we talked a bit and I moved on. (The guys move in fast) We live in a fairly small town of about 30 thousand and knew a lot of the same people. I seen them leave and noticed on her note she gave me she didn’t live far from me so after a couple more drinks I left and went by her house on my way home and his vehicle was still there. The next morning I got up early and went for a drive towards her house and his truck was still there.

I waited a couple hours and checked again and he was gone so I called her and set up a date for that night. We had a great time and both had plenty to drink and ended up back at her house in bed. I was so turned on knowing she had just screwed another guy. I started to go down on her and she half heartedly tried to stop me but I kept going and she didn’t resist. We were both so turned on neither of us lasted long.
She went out with him on Friday nights and me on Saturday nights, after a couple weeks of that I watched till he left sat morning and pulled in her drive minutes later, I rang the doorbell and she came to the door in her robe, obviously freshly fucked I stepped in and started kissing her and she tried to avoid things going any further but I kept playing, she finally said she needed to take a shower and I told her not to. And we moved to bed and she finally told me her date from last night had just left. I just kept going the she said she really needed a shower and I said it was fine and went down on her she asked are you sure you want to do that and I said it was so sexy. She got off on me going down on her and I didn’t last long. We talked about it after we finished and I told her it turned me on to be with her after she had sex.

We continued this for about a month then she quit seeing him. I tried to get her to see other guys but she never did. She said it was sexy and fun but she didn’t have anyone else she wanted to date, but if the right guy came along she would do it again. We ended up married about a year later and had a baby about a year and half after that and she never has ran across the right guy. We still talk and fantasize about it 30 years later and now that we are empty nesters we are looking for the right situation.

[Des 31]

During the time my wife and I were first dating, my wife was having sex with a guy she first met in high school. They began fucking the summer before she entered college and that went on until about the time of our third or fourth date. They were never romantically involved as most think of that kind of relationship but would probably be thought of as fuckbuddies to satisfy their sexual needs. Each understood they would probably go on having sex until either of them entered into a more serious relationship. She thought he was hot but not the sort she could imagine marrying.

I didn't know about it until we had been married a while and the two of us got around to telling the other about our past relationships. I found the details of their encounters exciting, and she became very good at narrating their times together while she and I were having marital sex. Nowadays, she could be considered a "hotwife," and I thrill to her descriptive narratives as she tells me all that happened with her and another guy before she returns home from a date. He wasn't the only one with who she had sex but her time with him lasted longer than with others who had previously fucked her.

By then, she had learned that once she had crossed that Rubicon of being fucked the first or second time, she wouldn't be satisfied to live like a virgin again. I think our marital sex had begun to become rather routine after about a year of marriage. It was at that time I began to encourage her to consider having sex with others. After about a year, she finally did but didn't at first confide that to me. I learned about it by chance and she then confessed it would then be difficult to remain faithful. I was thrilled, and our sex lives are now far better than even from the time we first married. At times, she has told me she wishes she had started when I first brought it up; but upon reflection we each agreed that it's probably better this worked out the way it has.

~ Des

[tempus_fugit36]

During the time my wife and I were first dating, my wife was having sex with a guy she first met in high school. They began fucking the summer before she entered college and that went on until about the time of our third or fourth date. They were never romantically involved as most think of that kind of relationship but would probably be thought of as fuckbuddies to satisfy their sexual needs. Each understood they would probably go on having sex until either of them entered into a more serious relationship. She thought he was hot but not the sort she could imagine marrying.

I didn't know about it until we had been married a while and the two of us got around to telling the other about our past relationships. I found the details of their encounters exciting, and she became very good at narrating their times together while she and I were having marital sex. Nowadays, she could be considered a "hotwife," and I thrill to her descriptive narratives as she tells me all that happened with her and another guy before she returns home from a date. He wasn't the only one with who she had sex but her time with him lasted longer than with others who had previously fucked her.

By then, she had learned that once she had crossed that Rubicon of being fucked the first or second time, she wouldn't be satisfied to live like a virgin again. I think our marital sex had begun to become rather routine after about a year of marriage. It was at that time I began to encourage her to consider having sex with others. After about a year, she finally did but didn't at first confide that to me. I learned about it by chance and she then confessed it would then be difficult to remain faithful. I was thrilled, and our sex lives are now far better than even from the time we first married. At times, she has told me she wishes she had started when I first brought it up; but upon reflection we each agreed that it's probably better this worked out the way it has.

~ Des

Great story this of yours. This is more or less what I believe I need on my relationship but my wife doesn’t seem to agree….any tips you have on how could start suggesting her to have an affair and at least try, but without letting her suspect that I am not interested on her? I am an alpha male and wouldn’t like her to think other things….How do you hide your wifes affairs in front of your family and friends? Any risk of damaging your reputation that I should consider?

[Des 31]

During the time my wife and I were first dating, my wife was having sex with a guy she first met in high school. They began fucking the summer before she entered college and that went on until about the time of our third or fourth date. They were never romantically involved as most think of that kind of relationship but would probably be thought of as fuckbuddies to satisfy their sexual needs. Each understood they would probably go on having sex until either of them entered into a more serious relationship. She thought he was hot but not the sort she could imagine marrying.

I didn't know about it until we had been married a while and the two of us got around to telling the other about our past relationships. I found the details of their encounters exciting, and she became very good at narrating their times together while she and I were having marital sex. Nowadays, she could be considered a "hotwife," and I thrill to her descriptive narratives as she tells me all that happened with her and another guy before she returns home from a date. He wasn't the only one with who she had sex but her time with him lasted longer than with others who had previously fucked her.

By then, she had learned that once she had crossed that Rubicon of being fucked the first or second time, she wouldn't be satisfied to live like a virgin again. I think our marital sex had begun to become rather routine after about a year of marriage. It was at that time I began to encourage her to consider having sex with others. After about a year, she finally did but didn't at first confide that to me. I learned about it by chance and she then confessed it would then be difficult to remain faithful. I was thrilled, and our sex lives are now far better than even from the time we first married. At times, she has told me she wishes she had started when I first brought it up; but upon reflection we each agreed that it's probably better this worked out the way it has.

~ Des

Great story this of yours. This is more or less what I believe I need on my relationship but my wife doesn’t seem to agree….any tips you have on how could start suggesting her to have an affair and at least try, but without letting her suspect that I am not interested on her? I am an alpha male and wouldn’t like her to think other things….How do you hide your wifes affairs in front of your family and friends? Any risk of damaging your reputation that I should consider?

It took me about a year to convince my wife. She had difficulty wrapping her head about it. Only when she came to agree did she confide her reasib fir hesitancy was partly that she didn't believe I could really handle it as well as I thought. That's why she didn't immediately tell me about her covert affair. I didn't display any displeasure when she finally confessed for the reason I was concerned she might quit at that point.

Our families, friends, and those we work with haven't a clue about our alternative marriage practices. To most, we're an average, conservative couple. Neither of us gives off hints we're any different from others we know. The risk of damaged reputations over open marriages is almost entirely a result of one spouse or the other confiding in someone or placing the wife in a position where she might be recognized when out with another man. My wife also won't allow her guys to photograph or video her in the nude or when having sex. She occasionally fucks our insurance agent who once showed her a photo of another married woman with who he had sex. That told her to "trust no one" with evidence anyone might thoughtlessly pass on to someone who knows us.

There's much more to all of the above, and we have kept our history of her sexual activities at this website, beginning with how she became a hotwife, up through now. The link is at the bottom of this message, but I should warn our history has become rather long at this time and has taken many a long time when they wish to catch up from the beginning.

~ Des