How many years did you & your talk about it?

[Jimmyboyx2]

How did you get started sharing and how long did you discuss it first?

[floridafellow]

We have yet to actually to do it but we have been in contact with someone and hope to meet him next week.

[ucaneffher]

Introduced the idea to her at age 16, even made a "contract" stating I wouldn't leave her if she really did sleep with other guys. I also stated all the things she could do with them and that this wasn't a loyalty test.

She attempted to go out a few times with a couple of guys when she was 16-18 but she kept talking to them about me on her dates so it never worked. By the time she was 19 she was a little more mature both her mentality and her look, and she was working at the mall at a men's clothing store and thats when she started meeting guys and exchanging phone numbers. It took little before I was dropping her off at other guys houses and picking her up 4-5 hours later or the next day depending how much she liked the guy.

5 years since we started and she's at guy #15. I have no regrets whatsoever of getting in the lifestyle. I wish she would've started at 16 when we were in high school. I guess the small piece of cuck in me would've wanted it to be known back then that my g/f was seeing other guys in school beside me.

[Jimmyboyx2]

The poll has no option for "less than a year." That would be my answer. We discussed for maybe 3 months before the first time. Not bad progress!


You got me Ben. I thought I had come up with all the possible answers. You and the wife didn't waste any time.

[ucaneffher]

I expected this thread to have at least a few more replies than it has, guess people are busier these days!

[Cuck4Life]

It took us forever to get started, then its been great.

[Iris777]

In our home, it was less how long we discussed it and more how long Aynsley threw hints that I completely missed. I think back now that he might have been hinting before we got married but I just didn't get what he was hinting at. Once we had a clear conversation? About 3 months.

[Paul_Pines]

15 years. When she finally agreed to try it, it was the shock of my life.

When she later said she ENJOYED it, it made the first shock seem like nothing!

Patience, patience, patience. And never give up hope!

Cuckold Paul

[Mrs_Butterfly]

I expected this thread to have at least a few more replies than it has, guess people are busier these days!

As of this date there are many more votes than written responses. Depending on which one of us you ask, it took between 5 and 10 years. We agree on the conversations, we just don't agree on where we were living at the time.

[nvr2old]

As best I can recall, it took about 5 months from initial discussion to doing the deed.

[jrandmustang]

We played with the fantasy for seven years, during which time I really didn't think it would ever be more than a fantasy. Once she made the decision to have me create a profile for us on an internet dating site (and after I put my eyes back into their sockets and did it), it took about six weeks to work out our "rules" and procedures and meet the right guy.

Sometimes I wish we'd started sooner, and wonder whether if I had prompted her more whether we'd have more adventures and hot memories under our belts. But I also believe strongly that one of the keys to our success was that everything happened on her timetable, and I'm confident that she's never had recriminations that I pressured her into this. I told myself all through those seven years that just the fact that we'd spiced up our sex lives by adding this fantasy play, by itself, made me a lucky man ... and I still feel that way.

Mustang's JR

[Rick H]

I checked the 2nd box. OK, we did talk about it but only for one week before it happened, when we knew it was imminent - and that first time was a swap, not a share - although there is some overlap, I think!

[Johnsartre]

I checked the first box - before marriage. While we were engaged, she took a new job and within weeks started a steamy affair with a co-worker. She confessed to me four months before the big day, tearfully. Meanwhile, her co-worker, Mr. Dickhead, was relentless in begging her to run away with him (he was married). She told me she had feelings for both of us and was torn. He wanted her to go on holiday with him for 4 days to 'discuss' it with her. She didn't know what to do, so I in an angry moment told her to go ahead. I told her that if she didn't go and got married to me she might always look back and wonder. I ordered her to face him and come away with a final firm decision. She was amazed I would tell her to go, and at the last minute reminded me that he would want her to sleep with him being the salesman that he was. (She had already answered many of my questions about what they did and where - at work on his desk, at her flat during lunch and at the company retreat).

I told her to go, not to hold back and then decide.

While they were away, I alternated between bouts of high anger and a strange sensation warming my crotch.

She returned and on the same day she came to see me and told me that she told him they were through, but not before he gave her one last good pounding. I made love to her that afternoon, and she was still lubricated with his cum.

It was the hottest I've ever been - I suppose to reclaim her.

We have now been married 20+ years very happily, four kids, and have enjoyed our sex life greatly. And as you can tell, I enjoy telling you.

[pemo442]

I put the idea forward about 10 years ago, still no joy,but maybe theres still hope.

[Jimmyboyx2]

Looks to me, Mr Bear, like there are a good many respondents that have waited more than 10 years and some have been discussing it more than 20. It would be interesting to learn why it has taken them so long. I would guess that there are many wives that are initially uninterested for an array of reasons. But for others it may be lack of opportunity or a desire initially for just a fantasy. Comments anyone?

[allengt]

Looks to me, Mr Bear, like there are a good many respondents that have waited more than 10 years and some have been discussing it more than 20. It would be interesting to learn why it has taken them so long. I would guess that there are many wives that are initially uninterested for an array of reasons. But for others it may be lack of opportunity or a desire initially for just a fantasy. Comments anyone?

I think there is two things to be considered. One is they are raising a family and she says no then the one that gets to her is 20 years later she is reaching her peak and horny as hell but he has hit the valley and all he wants to do is watch another football game. About that time she starts thinking of what he has talked to her about for 20 years and decides why not, he will take care of my itch I will just find someone that will and I have his blessing.

[pasadena95]

Early years are busy, there are kids to raise, heavy job demands and maybe some insecurities and jealousy. After the kids are out of the house and things are less frenetic, the playtime can begin for real. Wife wants to re-affirm she can still attract men, husband wants this attention to be lavished on her, and maybe the best positive -- the relationship is secure, both partners are mature, and the trust and loyalty are well established. This may take 20 years but the wait is worth it.
It can certainly revitalize the quality and quantity of sex between the spouses.
My wife thought that I wanted her to play because our sex life had become a little jaded. I think that's probably accurate.

[woodytoshoes]

The poll has no option for "less than a year." That would be my answer. We discussed for maybe 3 months before the first time. Not bad progress!

Ben

I had a close friend who said to me that he had a dream one night about my wife J which I told her about and that got us both fired up about the idea and the rest is history. Took about the same time as bennyboys first time and have been with the same friend for the last 10 years............

[jrandmustang]

Early years are busy, there are kids to raise, heavy job demands and maybe some insecurities and jealousy. After the kids are out of the house and things are less frenetic, the playtime can begin for real. Wife wants to re-affirm she can still attract men, husband wants this attention to be lavished on her, and maybe the best positive -- the relationship is secure, both partners are mature, and the trust and loyalty are well established. This may take 20 years but the wait is worth it.
It can certainly revitalize the quality and quantity of sex between the spouses.
My wife thought that I wanted her to play because our sex life had become a little jaded. I think that's probably accurate.

What he said.

[samvicki]

I think family is probably the primary reason for the delay. Kids kids kids!

Oh so true. that was one of our major stumbling blocks! And frankly, still is to a lot of our play.

N

[Mr_Temptabo]

It's sort of misleading. She did some "swing" alone before we knew the term "Hotwife". The point where she started that was 5-10 years after we were married.

However, I explained "Hotwife" to her in 2008 and she went official HW a few months later if I recall. Right now she's inactive...mostly due to being in a smaller "market" and not finding anyone she's interested in. I guess it all depends on how you count "talking" about it.

[jrandmustang]

Mr. T! It's been ages since we've heard from you or the Mrs! Glad to know all is well, even if things are slow. Cheers!

JR

[the-happy-couple]

I'd had fantasies of group sex since my teenage years. After I met Lisa, it took about 2-3 years before I figured I should share those long-brewing fantasies. Her initial reaction was, predictably, shock. (She was a sweet, innocent Chinese girl, raised to be proper and all). From there, dialogue progressed to gradual acceptance of, at the very least, the idea and talking about it. Then, there are 3 answers to the question. I guess it depends how you look at it:

Answer #1: About 3 years after initially talking about it, Lisa opened up to the idea of having same-room sex with another couple (it seemed tame and safe enough). We took a vacation abroad. An opportunity presented itself with a couple we liked. Unfortunately they totally freaked out, - no joy. We had one other such catastrophe the year after. (Resorts appear to be filled with hot, horny people, but apparently a lot of those hot, horny people are pretty vanilla. Or so we learned - the hard way).

Answer #2: We finally got lucky in Jamaica, where we got a night pass for Hedonism (where else?). We made slow love in the hot tub next to a lovely young couple we bonded with. Then we soft-swapped with another couple and it was the first time Lisa was touched by another man. I was mesmerized. This was 5 years after we started talking about it.

Answer #3: Hedonism led to swingers clubs led to a few so-so encounters with couples, led to the realization that we both got turned on the most when SHE was sexually pleasured and satisfied by another man. I couldn't care less about other women. This was 7 years after our dialogue started.

I wholeheartedly agree with the above comment: patience (and love) conquers all. You need to build trust and a loving relationship to risk going for those crazy, off-the-wall fantasies that we take part in.

However, it's very clear that the process accelerated with time. While it took 5 years to risk being around a couple, it took merely an hour before Lisa made out with another guy. What's that, a quantum leap?

[asian_hotwife]

The poll has no option for "less than a year." That would be my answer. We discussed for maybe 3 months before the first time. Not bad progress!


You got me Ben. I thought I had come up with all the possible answers. You and the wife didn't waste any time.

Same here. Talk about it for 9 mo from the first night we meet. What we talk about longer, maybe 5-6 years, is me going to fuck guys without hubby there.

[we4luv]

Although we played as a couple before we wed I marked immediately. What happened was that we were married for two years and I assumed we had stopped playing. While I was gone on a business trip she slept with a guy (I am not counting this one). She confessed two weeks later, it turned us both on so much that she went out that night and met a guy at a hotel bar. (I am counting that one).