It might actually happen after years of telling me no.

[jasmineb87]

Glad to hear you’re doing good. Spend some time to focus on yourselves. It’s been a wild ride, so probably best course to just calm it for now at least.

She's blocked his number from her phone, and we're thinking of unblocking together and watching the avalanche of texts come pouring in at some point next week.

See how long he goes of ‘no contact’ before hornily trying to get her to bunk off. That, I believe will be the biggest tell in how much respect he has for you and Lana.

[TheHammer]

It still doesn’t add up. If he “loved” her would there have been the zoom calls with her and the sex at his party with the door open. Odd things to do with someone you are falling in love with and not just a fuckbuddy.

Best of luck to the two of you. If and when you start back up, start slow something like you two can sit separately at a bar and you can watch her get picked up on and watch her flirt. And then you two can discuss and take baby steps forward and go from there instead of instantly going from 0-100.

[william70]

This was my post back on December 7th.

Every body hates me on here when I preach honesty, but I'm too stupid to listen to them.
Here's my opinion, for what it's worth. Invite spmn to your apartment and together or only Lana and tell him everything. Tell him what your expectations are concerning everything.My guess is that he will be more than happy to continue fucking Lana and whatever amount of humiliation you want him to provide you.
If he says no thank you, You'll be getting an early start to Lana's searching for another fuck. If he says YEPEEE. You put the search off till later.
By being honest there's no trying to cover your tracks when Lana gives him a cock and bull (pun intended) story and he starts asking questions. I think it would be much worse if he thinks your trying to pull the wool over his eyes.
Be honest. Everyone is on the same page. Everybody gets what they want.

PS. Hang on too your dick buddy because over the next weeks/months/years Lana is going to take you on a journey that many can't handle. She's hooked harder than if it was heroin.
Good luck!

IMHO:
This whole relationship started with a lie. Then Lana, with selective (lie) description of their first encounter. I believe There is more Lana has not disclosed. They told each other they loved each other during their last hookup. BUT, they fell in love prior to the first time they "made love".
W has told us repeatedly that they have these long talks. Many of you have brought up ideas that had W and Lana discussed them, I don't believe this situation would have happened. Communication in this marriage is minimal and far from honest.
For those seeking "how to" info, do not follow this couples example. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

[gulfcpl]

This was my post back on December 7th.

Every body hates me on here when I preach honesty, but I'm too stupid to listen to them.
Here's my opinion, for what it's worth. Invite spmn to your apartment and together or only Lana and tell him everything. Tell him what your expectations are concerning everything.My guess is that he will be more than happy to continue fucking Lana and whatever amount of humiliation you want him to provide you.
If he says no thank you, You'll be getting an early start to Lana's searching for another fuck. If he says YEPEEE. You put the search off till later.
By being honest there's no trying to cover your tracks when Lana gives him a cock and bull (pun intended) story and he starts asking questions. I think it would be much worse if he thinks your trying to pull the wool over his eyes.
Be honest. Everyone is on the same page. Everybody gets what they want.

PS. Hang on too your dick buddy because over the next weeks/months/years Lana is going to take you on a journey that many can't handle. She's hooked harder than if it was heroin.
Good luck!

IMHO:
This whole relationship started with a lie. Then Lana, with selective (lie) description of their first encounter. I believe There is more Lana has not disclosed. They told each other they loved each other during their last hookup. BUT, they fell in love prior to the first time they "made love".
W has told us repeatedly that they have these long talks. Many of you have brought up ideas that had W and Lana discussed them, I don't believe this situation would have happened. Communication in this marriage is minimal and far from honest.
For those seeking "how to" info, do not follow this couples example. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

I’ve said the same. I guess cheating is more fun. Whatever works I guess. It doesn’t affect me in the least so I try not to give too much advice.

[2inUPMichigan]

My .02

No matter how convenient or hot they are, not all men are cut out to be the 3rd.

Any man who breaks the rules he was given or is disrespectful towards a husband or marriage (without prior agreement in place) is not a good match.

Any man who tries to sexually manipulate the hotwife (without her prior consent) has stepped over the line and no longer deserves her time and attention.

No matter how hot the sex is, if a man doesn't respect you, your husband, and your marriage.....and is only out for what he can get, is it really worth it?
There are better options out there!

[Dharmadude]

I know I have been one of the "cheerleaders" here as I wanted, for you both, things to continue to open up for you and for you to have every opportunity to explore. When things go in a direction that is not ideal, then I feel partly responsible and I own up to that. Communication is the mantra across these boards, with good reason. You both have that level and strong marriage that I believed would navigate those troubled waters. I still do believe that.

Your journey and sexual awakening is very exciting to follow. I think back to when I realized certain aspects of my sexuality and how eye opening it was. It just felt right for the first time. I was single at the time so I had no one to worry about but myself. I can see how experiencing that awakening at the same time the woman I love also awoke would be overwhelming at times. It would be very easy to let things get out of hand.

You said Lana regrets some of her words/actions. That is understandable. Though I have never been one that likes the word regret: it seems too harsh and reproachful on oneself. I have made many, many bad decisions and mistakes in my life but each one makes me the person I am today. And I like who I am today. I cannot change the past. I can only change my perception of it. Mistakes were made, yes, but a mistake is merely an opportunity to learn.

Both of you are intelligent and see how things went wrong and understand how to avoid this in the future. The fact that both of you are open, raw, and honest at this moment speaks volumes for your love and commitment.

I don't know if superman has a fetish for breaking up marriages. Even that admission gives him too much credit in my view. He is what he is: a young, hung, asshat that knows how to use that cock. Maybe he really does have feeling for Lana. I don't know. Hell, I have feelings for Lana and I've never seen her or met her, let alone been fortunate enough to fuck her. Her spirit alone is magnetic.

A clean break is for the best. Even he deserves some sort of closure though. If you meet in person, even in a public place, it will be very difficult for Lana to resist when he starts in on her, and you know he will. Whether you are there or not, he will do it. He has zero respect for you and will do this right in your face. More of the challenging behavior he displayed in your bedroom. As has been said here recently, it is up to her. It sounds black and white, but if she sees him again, even one last farewell fuck, I doubt any good can come from this. I don't think she could handle it. Make the clean break.

I hope after your re-evaluation time, you continue this journey. If you stop and view it as just an insanely hot month, that is great too. If you do decide to continue, then you have a lot of practical experience and knowledge of how to proceed and what to look for in a third person.

[mundyman]

Good morning W. I hope you and Lana had a good night.
I hope you are taking all of our posts with a grain of salt as well as enjoying the wide spectrum of views shared.
Only you know all the details, everything that has been said, and the deeds done.
I’m sure you two will make the best choices for you.
Whether that involves Shawn Re-entering the picture or never again.
Good luck!!

Good morning! We went to the gym earlier together and she watched me cold plunge into the ocean (even though I now have my own ice bath on the balcony. There's just something about the waves that makes it feel more intense), we grabbed coffee (or rather she did while I waited outside) and we spent the rest of the morning just talking - not even about Shawn necessarily. Date night in the city tonight and then NYE with her family tomorrow. I think it's a good distraction, but ultimately, I know we're going to have to go into more details about the last month and if there's anything she hasn't told me, either intentionally or mistakenly. But I'm just trying to enjoy the moment for now.

I went over all of the posts and really appreciate everyone's perspectives. Some people here are incredibly perceptive and as much as I like to think I'm good at spotting red flags, I guess it's good to have others checking your blinds spots.

It was a good call to pull the plug. Shawn already had Lana physically and was slowly taking more and more of your wife emotionally.

It was time to re-establish the dominant relationship and reset his position in your lives. Now its time to see if Lana can cut the cord, and not have anymore late night trists or unplanned interactions.

I tend to get up randomly in the middle of the night to take a piss or sometimes our dogs will wake me up for whatever reason, and last night was no different. But each time I was up, she was sound asleep next to me. So at least there's one night she was able to stay strong.

Enjoy your time together.
The obvious elephant in the room and hurdle to get over there is managing Shawn.
Is he done never to be between lanas legs again?
Or do you two dissect what happened and find a way to move forward with him? You two obviously get a spark from her fucking him. After stepping back and getting perspective can you get a better definition of how Shawn or any other big dicked lover fits in your relationship?
Will Lana always develop feelings? It’s natural, often happens, not necessarily a danger to your relationship? But can you two find a way to navigate them and not see them as a threat to your marriage and relationship?
Finally finding a way to deal with Shawns school boy crush.

[Wifesharing]

My .02

No matter how convenient or hot they are, not all men are cut out to be the 3rd.

Any man who breaks the rules he was given or is disrespectful towards a husband or marriage (without prior agreement in place) is not a good match.

Any man who tries to sexually manipulate the hotwife (without her prior consent) has stepped over the line and no longer deserves her time and attention.

No matter how hot the sex is, if a man doesn't respect you, your husband, and your marriage.....and is only out for what he can get, is it really worth it?
There are better options out there!

I agree with this fully except we do not know that Shawn manipulate Lana or that any thing was without her consent. I agree he is not the right guy for this but as far as we can tell Shawn was led to believe she was sneaking behing W770's back even after he knew, so I mean the only person really manipulated here was Shawn.

[whenwillshe]

To be honest, I would be concerned re Shawn wanting to physically confront W.
He seems the type to act out and denied sexual conquest may turn dangerous.
I certainly hope he is more grounded but he never was given any indication that this was a HW encounter and he was a prop.
That deception allowed him to get addicted too and addicts can be unpredictable, especially testosterone and adrenaline fueled ones.

[fraktastic]

Shawn definitely manipulated Lana by withholding an orgasm until she said she loved him.

I think W and Lana are doing the right things now - decisions made together will work out if you realize mistakes together as well. Personally I'm cheering for that bartender from this summer.

[KevDi69]

W, thanks for the update. I’m glad to hear you and Lana are taking a break and working on reconnecting and repairing any damage to your marriage. Blocking his number is a good move. But you can still expect him to approach her in person at the gym or knock on your door when you are out walking the dogs. She needs to be ready with an appropriate response when it happens. Best of luck to both of you.

[johnstevens555]

This was my post back on December 7th.

Every body hates me on here when I preach honesty, but I'm too stupid to listen to them.
Here's my opinion, for what it's worth. Invite spmn to your apartment and together or only Lana and tell him everything. Tell him what your expectations are concerning everything.My guess is that he will be more than happy to continue fucking Lana and whatever amount of humiliation you want him to provide you.
If he says no thank you, You'll be getting an early start to Lana's searching for another fuck. If he says YEPEEE. You put the search off till later.
By being honest there's no trying to cover your tracks when Lana gives him a cock and bull (pun intended) story and he starts asking questions. I think it would be much worse if he thinks your trying to pull the wool over his eyes.
Be honest. Everyone is on the same page. Everybody gets what they want.

PS. Hang on too your dick buddy because over the next weeks/months/years Lana is going to take you on a journey that many can't handle. She's hooked harder than if it was heroin.
Good luck!

IMHO:
This whole relationship started with a lie. Then Lana, with selective (lie) description of their first encounter. I believe There is more Lana has not disclosed. They told each other they loved each other during their last hookup. BUT, they fell in love prior to the first time they "made love".
W has told us repeatedly that they have these long talks. Many of you have brought up ideas that had W and Lana discussed them, I don't believe this situation would have happened. Communication in this marriage is minimal and far from honest.
For those seeking "how to" info, do not follow this couples example. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

You flip flop more than a waffle house. 🧇

[Seekingmore12]

W, thanks for the update. I’m glad to hear you and Lana are taking a break and working on reconnecting and repairing any damage to your marriage. Blocking his number is a good move. But you can still expect him to approach her in person at the gym or knock on your door when you are out walking the dogs. She needs to be ready with an appropriate response when it happens. Best of luck to both of you.

I think this is a good point, at this stage S is likely feeling ghosted, even though he got a text saying things have gone too far, he is likely spinning now.

Not that he deserves much sympathy in all this, in my opinion w and L should take the high road here, perhaps with a email from both of you that basically says thank you for being part of our loving marriage and our exploration of ways to be closer together. We have both enjoyed our time together with you and thanks again for the wonderful experience. Together we wish you every success in your future endeavours and we would appreciate no contact as we work to understand the last months activities together. Thank you w and L.

Something like this, a no contact letter which is very common in “ affairs “ when caught.

[tojanman]

This was my post back on December 7th.

Every body hates me on here when I preach honesty, but I'm too stupid to listen to them.
Here's my opinion, for what it's worth. Invite spmn to your apartment and together or only Lana and tell him everything. Tell him what your expectations are concerning everything.My guess is that he will be more than happy to continue fucking Lana and whatever amount of humiliation you want him to provide you.
If he says no thank you, You'll be getting an early start to Lana's searching for another fuck. If he says YEPEEE. You put the search off till later.
By being honest there's no trying to cover your tracks when Lana gives him a cock and bull (pun intended) story and he starts asking questions. I think it would be much worse if he thinks your trying to pull the wool over his eyes.
Be honest. Everyone is on the same page. Everybody gets what they want.

PS. Hang on too your dick buddy because over the next weeks/months/years Lana is going to take you on a journey that many can't handle. She's hooked harder than if it was heroin.
Good luck!

IMHO:
This whole relationship started with a lie. Then Lana, with selective (lie) description of their first encounter. I believe There is more Lana has not disclosed. They told each other they loved each other during their last hookup. BUT, they fell in love prior to the first time they "made love".
W has told us repeatedly that they have these long talks. Many of you have brought up ideas that had W and Lana discussed them, I don't believe this situation would have happened. Communication in this marriage is minimal and far from honest.
For those seeking "how to" info, do not follow this couples example. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

You flip flop more than a waffle house. 🧇

Waffles should only be flipped once.

[parmaham55]

Well done w770. You and Lana are living your lives and doing so well. There’s plenty of advice here and please do take it as you wish in a balanced way. You both seem so emotionally intelligent in the situation. Yes, there are plenty of questions that you still have but now is not the time for that. You are taking the perfect new year’s break.

Echoing one persons comment, I’m falling for Lana just reading this thread too, so I can see how magnetic she is, and that is wonderful!!

My own thoughts are that perhaps Shawn is not so bad as many are painting him to be. He’s 25, and besotted, a skilled lovemaker, and expressing love - nothing inherently wrong with that. Maybe clumsy but not necessarily deliberate. It’s how you and Lana navigate from here on that will be important. Total openness between you two and then with him is essential as many have said.

To cut him off so suddenly and finally, for one over-passionate assignation, ultimately has to be Lana’s decision, yes 100% honestly and emotionally discussed with you first, but if she ends up cutting off completely in order to please you, then later down the track some resentment may emerge. She has to decide. He perhaps deserves a conversation with the two of you for learning and understanding and fairness. Not alone with Lana, but with you there to show you know what has happened and that you and Lana are as one together and unbreakable. Just my thoughts.

[Wifesharing]

Well done w770. You and Lana are living your lives and doing so well. There’s plenty of advice here and please do take it as you wish in a balanced way. You both seem so emotionally intelligent in the situation. Yes, there are plenty of questions that you still have but now is not the time for that. You are taking the perfect new year’s break.

Echoing one persons comment, I’m falling for Lana just reading this thread too, so I can see how magnetic she is, and that is wonderful!!

My own thoughts are that perhaps Shawn is not so bad as many are painting him to be. He’s 25, and besotted, a skilled lovemaker, and expressing love - nothing inherently wrong with that. Maybe clumsy but not necessarily deliberate. It’s how you and Lana navigate from here on that will be important. Total openness between you two and then with him is essential as many have said.

To cut him off so suddenly and finally, for one over-passionate assignation, ultimately has to be Lana’s decision, yes 100% honestly and emotionally discussed with you first, but if she ends up cutting off completely in order to please you, then later down the track some resentment may emerge. She has to decide. He perhaps deserves a conversation with the two of you for learning and understanding and fairness. Not alone with Lana, but with you there to show you know what has happened and that you and Lana are as one together and unbreakable. Just my thoughts.

I was typing a reply but this one said what i was trying to say very well.

[william70]

Flip Flop here:
I have never advocated someone be dishonest or lie.

[william70]

My own thoughts are that perhaps Shawn is not so bad as many are painting him to be. He’s 25, and besotted, a skilled lovemaker, and expressing love - nothing inherently wrong with that. Maybe clumsy but not necessarily deliberate. It’s how you and Lana navigate from here on that will be important. Total openness between you two and then with him is essential as many have said.

To cut him off so suddenly and finally, for one over-passionate assignation, ultimately has to be Lana’s decision, yes 100% honestly and emotionally discussed with you first, but if she ends up cutting off completely in order to please you, then later down the track some resentment may emerge. She has to decide. He perhaps deserves a conversation with the two of you for learning and understanding and fairness. Not alone with Lana, but with you there to show you know what has happened and that you and Lana are as one together and unbreakable. Just my thoughts.

If you two want to have a conversation with Shawn so all can have "closure" that's fine. Probably a good idea.
But to consider continuing a relationship where both have professed their love for one another IMHO is pure lunacy.

[eater]

sorry to read this amazing adventure is probably over but S definitely crossed lines he needs to respect

[johnstevens555]

To cut him off so suddenly and finally, for one over-passionate assignation, ultimately has to be Lana’s decision, yes 100% honestly and emotionally discussed with you first, but if she ends up cutting off completely in order to please you, then later down the track some resentment may emerge. She has to decide. He perhaps deserves a conversation with the two of you for learning and understanding and fairness. Not alone with Lana, but with you there to show you know what has happened and that you and Lana are as one together and unbreakable. Just my thoughts.

This

[veub]

No matter how hot the sex is, if a man doesn't respect you, your husband, and your marriage.....and is only out for what he can get, is it really worth it?
There are better options out there!

Do you seriously believe that any of these men actually "respect" the husband? Sure, they may claim that to the wife and husband, but not in reality.

[Wifesharing]

sorry to read this amazing adventure is probably over but S definitely crossed lines he needs to respect

HE crossed line of civil morality but really they led him to believe that Lana was going to see him often behind W's back and was cheating on him often (and we have no idea what communication he got from Lana) With the information he was receiving I am not sure he crossed any lines that were ever set to him.

I believe just like the rest that he most likely would have been just as much a dick had he known, but we will never really know. We don't know how much he was only trying to give Lana what she wanted she clearly liked it and showed him she liked it just as much and that she wanted it.

I am not defending Shawn just pointing out there was never any clear lines drawn

[Just4you32]

To cut him off so suddenly and finally, for one over-passionate assignation, ultimately has to be Lana’s decision, yes 100% honestly and emotionally discussed with you first, but if she ends up cutting off completely in order to please you, then later down the track some resentment may emerge. She has to decide. He perhaps deserves a conversation with the two of you for learning and understanding and fairness. Not alone with Lana, but with you there to show you know what has happened and that you and Lana are as one together and unbreakable. Just my thoughts.

This

100% agree. As douchey as Shawn has been, you guys knew his personality when you started (which was part of the turn on in dynamic). But he is still very much a person. Imagine if you were him; I think he deserves a talk (with you both) to at least explain what happened. I’m not saying his desires outweigh either of you at all, but he is still an individual. In hotwifing I’ve always disagreed with the mentality that single individuals just get thrown to the wind like they don’t matter or aren’t people. As much as couples complain about singles ghosting, it also happens the other way around. I mean, given what rules you gave him, he actually didn’t break any of them. But I also think you need to side with safety and making sure you do what’s best for your marriage. My .02.

[jasmineb87]

I mostly agree with Just4you32 above.

For the moment though, Lana has told Shawn she will be in touch. The most important thing at the moment is that W and Lana figure out what they want going forward. I do think they should “come clean” to Shawn either way

[william70]

If Shawn is pissed off, I'm not sure "coming clean" would be the smart thing to do. The lies are in the past. Make a clean break and part ways. Answer to above post.
My comment:
So, if the 3 of them get together and Lana wants to continue, W must agree because if he doesn't Lana will have regrets and may continue some sort of affair with S behind W's back. Emotional blackmail.

So, if the 3 of them get together and W says no full stop with S. Lana agrees. Realizes it's best for the marriage and with new understanding of how HWing needs to work, chooses a new bull (Eric?).

There are lots of scenarios. I just don't believe staying with superman can have any sort of positive effect on W/Lana or their marriage.