she has feelings?

[FNQLivin]

Having said all that, it is extremely arousing to think she has serious thoughts about him.

[shesmypornstar]

FNQ I agree with everything you said in both posts

[Brute]

If a woman wants to leave she doesn’t tell you until she has her new life setup and ready before she jumps. She has teased you about losing her to tantalize and check your reaction. What you describe in your post would lead me to believe she only wants to play with you/for you; and/or she wants to be confident in your reaction if she does have a fling.

[troilusand]

It seems to me possible that this is another test of how serious you are about her having an affair, so that if she goes ahead, you can't come back and "blame" her. Like she's upping the ante by seeing if you're willing to go to the extreme of, 1) separation in order for her to, 2) fuck a man she's expressed a connection to and, 3) told you that she's a "one man woman" and she'll be all about him and not you if this goes off. If all that's cool with you, tell her to make it happen!

Me? I love the risks you two are taking...I'm jacking now as I type. There's nothing like encouraging your wife to start a relationship with a man she thinks she may fall in love with ...and leave you for. I envy you.
Troilus

[larryt]

Sounds to me like the most likely way for it to really happen is via more fantasy talk. Like, when you are both horny, ask for her thoughts on how a separation would work, while maintaining a tone that it’s all a fantasy to excite both of you. Your can work out the details that are most realistic and exciting that way.

The most dangerous game is one where you can approach it in small steps that are not so drastic.

She doesn’t actually sound that close to the neighbor. Is there a way for them to spend more time together?

By the way, how does she know he would not fuck her unless you were separated? Has he told her that? Or maybe she’s creating a high barrier to keep it a fantasy?

[shesmypornstar]

It seems to me possible that this is another test of how serious you are about her having an affair, so that if she goes ahead, you can't come back and "blame" her. Like she's upping the ante by seeing if you're willing to go to the extreme of, 1) separation in order for her to, 2) fuck a man she's expressed a connection to and, 3) told you that she's a "one man woman" and she'll be all about him and not you if this goes off. If all that's cool with you, tell her to make it happen!

Me? I love the risks you two are taking...I'm jacking now as I type. There's nothing like encouraging your wife to start a relationship with a man she thinks she may fall in love with ...and leave you for. I envy you.
Troilus

Inadvertent test maybe. Shes smart enough to think these things out and connect past conversations where I expressed jealousy and concern to what happened last week when I said I liked the idea and she should go for it. It obviously shows growth and approval on my part.

If anything last week was maybe a first in terms crossing my fantasy of her fucking somebody else with her fantasy. And before I explain, to Larryt's point, another step forward in our game of taking small steps that aren't so dramatic. If you've followed us over the past year you'll recall her wanting to stop talking about this because as she put it one night after sex "we're in trouble". Those were her words after coming to orgasm with me before she then admitted shes been thinking of him almost exclusively during sex to get herself off. I don't recall sharing this, but around that same time she had confessed that when she fantasized or daydreamed about the two of them being together, it was always as a couple, not just as fuck buddies or being in the act of having sex. That was her fantasy and those are two of the main reasons she wanted to back off the topic back then.

Now almost a year later, many small steps taking between then and now, shes fucking me while telling me she fantasizes about the day she can fuck him anytime she wants because they're together. I'd say thats a pretty big step, though dangerous admission. Nonetheless she got my approval

[shesmypornstar]

Sounds to me like the most likely way for it to really happen is via more fantasy talk. Like, when you are both horny, ask for her thoughts on how a separation would work, while maintaining a tone that it’s all a fantasy to excite both of you. Your can work out the details that are most realistic and exciting that way.

The most dangerous game is one where you can approach it in small steps that are not so drastic.

She doesn’t actually sound that close to the neighbor. Is there a way for them to spend more time together?

By the way, how does she know he would not fuck her unless you were separated? Has he told her that? Or maybe she’s creating a high barrier to keep it a fantasy?

I think she honestly just believes he wouldn't do it unless we were separated. Just from what we know about him, I tend to agree. There is a small chance he's ok with it IF he knows I'm ok with it too.

I wouldn't say they're close or not close. I think the 3 of us are friends, him and I are friends, the 2 of them are friends, and he as a single guy respects the boundaries of the friendship he has with a married woman. I think its on her or I to push it forward, I'm not sure that is something he would do on his own.

[FNQLivin]

I appreciate your honesty. Whenever I see you posting I always rush to find out the latest. I find the situation both scary as hell and also incredibly arousing. There is a bit of me that would be terrified and a bit that would be so hot to see how it plays out. To hear your partner tell you that she'd leave you for him if there was a chance of them being together is so liberating but also reminds you that she has options (as we all do). Of course, I'd not want my partner to leave me for another man, but that she could so openly talk about it, whilst having sex with me would be off the charts exciting. And then, post nut clarity comes into play and I'd be terrified again. No one wants to be alone and if kids are involved, the idea that a kink or a fantasy led to a situation that would not have arisen otherwise would leave me full of regret.

[shesmypornstar]

I appreciate your honesty. Whenever I see you posting I always rush to find out the latest. I find the situation both scary as hell and also incredibly arousing. There is a bit of me that would be terrified and a bit that would be so hot to see how it plays out. To hear your partner tell you that she'd leave you for him if there was a chance of them being together is so liberating but also reminds you that she has options (as we all do). Of course, I'd not want my partner to leave me for another man, but that she could so openly talk about it, whilst having sex with me would be off the charts exciting. And then, post nut clarity comes into play and I'd be terrified again. No one wants to be alone and if kids are involved, the idea that a kink or a fantasy led to a situation that would not have arisen otherwise would leave me full of regret.

Glad to hear that you're enjoying the ride along with me, I appreciate that. Kids being involved is the worst part and I agree, it would be gut wrenching if a kink lead to something that had a negative effect on them.

So I have an event planned early next month that will take me away from the family for the night. My wife has been talking about getting together with her friends while I'm out and just having a girls night out with everyone's kids being involved. This morning she decided that maybe instead of the girls, she'd text the neighbor to see if he wanted to get together instead. It was a legit thought, and she likes the idea, but right now shes asking herself the question "am i doing this for my husband, or am i doing this for me?'

Valid question no doubt and I understand where shes at. The interesting part was this. Shes not sure why shes doing it, shes not sure if shes actually going to ask him, but she did say that shes made up her mind and if she actually does invite him out, she plans on telling him that shes thinking about getting a separation. Now does she actually want a separation? I don't know, and we'll certainly talk that through, but I don't think she does. What I do now think though is that she 100% does want to explore something with him. Whether it be a one time hookup, fuck buddies, full on affair or even dating, I don't know. But based on today's conversation, if she asks him out that night I better be prepared for whatever comes of it because she is going to take the next step and let him know shes at least somewhat available. TBH, if she does say it, I think once the dust settles from the initial shock of what she just said and the conversation that followed, I see her making the first move and going in for a kiss to be as direct as possible

[Guhunkadorn]

Wow....so I'm thinking she wants to gauge his enthusiasm for her after she drops the 'separation' word bomb.

The more the enthusiasm from him, the more likely a separation from you.

This is getting very real, and frankly scary I think.

My wife, when she was close to her exercise buddy, sent me an email strongly suggesting a 'trial separation'; even pointing out a condo development near our home where I could live to be close to our children. She explained that she and "Bob" where indeed getting closer but had not had sex.

My response was that we needed to work harder on us and we did eventually, although she still had sexual contact with him after that email exchange.

She emerged from the fog, we stayed together and are thankful.

She is fully aware of my kink now finds it amusing and brings it up from them to time.

If I'd known about this site and the cuckold lifestyle/kink back then I don't know for sure how the situation would have been handled.

Good luck.

[FNQLivin]

I am still struggling with this idea of a separation. Does she love you and want to stay with you or not? If she can't answer that question, then the answer is clear and she's just looking for the right person to come along. That's not a great place to be.

If she still loves you and wants to be with you (and she has sex with you and plays with you), then why tell someone you're separating? What's the point in that? If, in order to keep up the pretence that she's not with you anymore, where does that leave you? Does she go all the way, cut you out of her life, again, just to keep up the pretence.

And if it's just because she wants to explore, but can't see herself doing that whilst still with you, how is that fair on him? If he's been told that she's available, he can fall for her, want to be with her. How does he deal with it when she says she's done now and comes back to you. Add to that, the real risk that she may actually fall for him, given that she won't be with you at all. Why would she want to come back to you when she can get all she wants and desires from someone else.

I am genuinely confused and whilst I don't know you and don't even know if what you're writing is true, worried for you.

[Long Lurker 34]

Wow....so I'm thinking she wants to gauge his enthusiasm for her after she drops the 'separation' word bomb.

The more the enthusiasm from him, the more likely a separation from you.

This is getting very real, and frankly scary I think.

My wife, when she was close to her exercise buddy, sent me an email strongly suggesting a 'trial separation'; even pointing out a condo development near our home where I could live to be close to our children. She explained that she and "Bob" where indeed getting closer but had not had sex.

My response was that we needed to work harder on us and we did eventually, although she still had sexual contact with him after that email exchange.

She emerged from the fog, we stayed together and are thankful.

She is fully aware of my kink now finds it amusing and brings it up from them to time.

If I'd known about this site and the cuckold lifestyle/kink back then I don't know for sure how the situation would have been handled.

Good luck.

G - Did she ever follow through with Bob or any other guy now she knows of your kink?

[Guhunkadorn]

She and Bob had sex or something very close to it...she returned late one Sat. AM after a workout with him sporting the most obvious post-orgasmic glow I'd ever seen on her face, prancing around the house like she was on 'Cloud 9'.

No other guys. She tells our friends that "he ( me ) says he wants me to have a lover but I don't think he could really handle it in the moment".

[takemoment]

Maybe you should check her text messages. There is a possibility that she has been with a guy, maybe not your neighbor

[troilusand]

I appreciate your honesty. Whenever I see you posting I always rush to find out the latest. I find the situation both scary as hell and also incredibly arousing. There is a bit of me that would be terrified and a bit that would be so hot to see how it plays out. To hear your partner tell you that she'd leave you for him if there was a chance of them being together is so liberating but also reminds you that she has options (as we all do). Of course, I'd not want my partner to leave me for another man, but that she could so openly talk about it, whilst having sex with me would be off the charts exciting. And then, post nut clarity comes into play and I'd be terrified again. No one wants to be alone and if kids are involved, the idea that a kink or a fantasy led to a situation that would not have arisen otherwise would leave me full of regret.

but she did say that shes made up her mind and if she actually does invite him out, she plans on telling him that shes thinking about getting a separation. Now does she actually want a separation? I don't know, and we'll certainly talk that through, but I don't think she does.

Almost everyone here preaches that communication between spouses is more important than anything else, well...I must admit that not knowing (nor confronting) Cressida about a lot of how we employed this lifestyle suited me to a "T" (I truly enjoyed eventually finding out how many times she cheated on me). And I don't think Cressida has ever known or suspected that my perfect version of our LS would have been for her to divorce me and marry Diomedes (her last lover) but still live most of the time with me. It's a long, complicated story...

Anyway, what I'm saying is, it seems like you're enjoying not REALLY knowing what your wife is thinking about this...and I know I'm enjoying your uncertainty!

What I do now think though is that she 100% does want to explore something with him. Whether it be a one time hookup, fuck buddies, full on affair or even dating, I don't know. But based on today's conversation, if she asks him out that night I better be prepared for whatever comes of it because she is going to take the next step and let him know shes at least somewhat available. TBH, if she does say it, I think once the dust settles from the initial shock of what she just said and the conversation that followed, I see her making the first move and going in for a kiss to be as direct as possible

If the whole "separation" angle doesn't fly (she doesn't want to commit to it; it's a bridge too far for you; or he'd feel guilty about it) maybe you could suggest to her a "live-in separation"; i.e., you move into the guest bedroom (tell your kids your snoring keeps your wife awake) and BEHAVE like you're separated. Pretend you're apart. No sex, no affection, her free to date him, and just raise your kids together until you three figure this out.

Keep us updated...

Troilus

[shesmypornstar]

I am still struggling with this idea of a separation. Does she love you and want to stay with you or not? If she can't answer that question, then the answer is clear and she's just looking for the right person to come along. That's not a great place to be.

If she still loves you and wants to be with you (and she has sex with you and plays with you), then why tell someone you're separating? What's the point in that? If, in order to keep up the pretence that she's not with you anymore, where does that leave you? Does she go all the way, cut you out of her life, again, just to keep up the pretence.

And if it's just because she wants to explore, but can't see herself doing that whilst still with you, how is that fair on him? If he's been told that she's available, he can fall for her, want to be with her. How does he deal with it when she says she's done now and comes back to you. Add to that, the real risk that she may actually fall for him, given that she won't be with you at all. Why would she want to come back to you when she can get all she wants and desires from someone else.

I am genuinely confused and whilst I don't know you and don't even know if what you're writing is true, worried for you.

Unfortunately I don't have a good answer for that. I think there are a few things possibly going on here. First, I think for the first time in a long, long time, there is finally somebody besides me that has peaked her interest and shes excited about that.

Second, shes confused about whether she wants this for me, or if she wants this for herself, or possibly both.

Third, and this is where half the separation talk comes in to play. I think she may be uncertain about our future and that could be for a variety of reasons, all couples have issues to work through. So to your point, yes, maybe in her mind the right person has come around and maybe this is her opportunity to see if she really wants to stay here, or perhaps see if she finds life with someone else better. I don't want to sound to cavalier about that possibility, that certainly isn't a great place for me, or us to be. But if that is where we really stand, then there are other issues in play and it can't be 100% blamed on the exploration of a kink.

Lastly, and this is a tricky one in my opinion. It is 100% possible that shes just playing this up for me, and although the interest is there, she has no intentions of getting a separation or even telling him that. I guess time will tell and we could find out soon if she does in fact ask him to go out next month when I'm away. I will say there have been times in the past, a few times regarding him, a few times with others, though never involving a separation, where she did play up a story or concept so believable that I couldn't take not knowing whether or not it was true. So when I finally asked, and she confirmed that I really did want the truth, she told me it was a made up story and although relieved, I also felt a bit of disappointment and the excitement obviously left.

[shesmypornstar]

Troilus,

Yes, I definitely am enjoying not truly knowing what her thoughts are. As I mentioned in my last post, the few times that I had no clue what she was thinking or if she was telling the truth I ended up relieved yet disappointed only to find out that everything was made up. I think my approach right now is partially in an effort to not be disappointed if I were to find out that she has no intentions of asking him out, but also in an effort not to scare her off from asking him out if she really does want to. Things started to get a bit real at one point last year and I think my response reeled her back in from the thought of pursuing something with him. I recall a few people on here telling me it was time to determine whether or not I really wanted it to happen last time. Now, a year later, I'm trying to do what I can to not get in the way.

[troilusand]

Things started to get a bit real at one point last year and I think my response reeled her back in from the thought of pursuing something with him. I recall a few people on here telling me it was time to determine whether or not I really wanted it to happen last time. Now, a year later, I'm trying to do what I can to not get in the way.

Yeah, I was one of them.

Do you want to not "get in the way", or do you want to encourage her to move forward with him? You sound like you're still conflicted...which is okay, I mean, Hell, you may lose your marriage over this! And even if you're content to passively let things happen as they might, it doesn't mean you shouldn't be scared shitless about that future, too...and jacking off like crazy about it, too.

PM me if you'd like,

Troilus

[hwc]

Hi, shesmypornstar,

You said:

she did say that shes made up her mind and if she actually does invite him out, she plans on telling him that shes thinking about getting a separation. Now does she actually want a separation? I don't know, and we'll certainly talk that through, but I don't think she does. What I do now think though is that she 100% does want to explore something with him. Whether it be a one time hookup, fuck buddies, full on affair or even dating, I don't know. But based on today's conversation, if she asks him out that night I better be prepared for whatever comes of i

Any further discussions on this, that you can share?

[shesmypornstar]

Things started to get a bit real at one point last year and I think my response reeled her back in from the thought of pursuing something with him. I recall a few people on here telling me it was time to determine whether or not I really wanted it to happen last time. Now, a year later, I'm trying to do what I can to not get in the way.

Yeah, I was one of them.

Do you want to not "get in the way", or do you want to encourage her to move forward with him? You sound like you're still conflicted...which is okay, I mean, Hell, you may lose your marriage over this! And even if you're content to passively let things happen as they might, it doesn't mean you shouldn't be scared shitless about that future, too...and jacking off like crazy about it, too.

PM me if you'd like,

Troilus

The way I see it, as long as I continue to bring it up in play or in everyday joking around, I'm still encouraging it. At the same time, as long as I don't speak up or voice concerns when she says something that sounds pretty serious, I'm not getting in the way. There are certainly times when she has said something seemingly serious and I give her my approval, though I will say its not with the same excitement as I have when we're just casually playing around or talking about it.

[shesmypornstar]

Hi, shesmypornstar,

You said:

she did say that shes made up her mind and if she actually does invite him out, she plans on telling him that shes thinking about getting a separation. Now does she actually want a separation? I don't know, and we'll certainly talk that through, but I don't think she does. What I do now think though is that she 100% does want to explore something with him. Whether it be a one time hookup, fuck buddies, full on affair or even dating, I don't know. But based on today's conversation, if she asks him out that night I better be prepared for whatever comes of i

Any further discussions on this, that you can share?

Not really. She did say the other day that she has no intention of breaking our family up, so a legit separation seems to be off the table which is a positive. We're kinda talking on that topic tonight, so if I bring it up, and ask what her intentions are in regards to telling him something along those lines I'll share.

[troilusand]

Hi, shesmypornstar,

You said:

she did say that shes made up her mind and if she actually does invite him out, she plans on telling him that shes thinking about getting a separation. Now does she actually want a separation? I don't know, and we'll certainly talk that through, but I don't think she does. What I do now think though is that she 100% does want to explore something with him. Whether it be a one time hookup, fuck buddies, full on affair or even dating, I don't know. But based on today's conversation, if she asks him out that night I better be prepared for whatever comes of i

Any further discussions on this, that you can share?

Not really. She did say the other day that she has no intention of breaking our family up, so a legit separation seems to be off the table which is a positive. We're kinda talking on that topic tonight, so if I bring it up, and ask what her intentions are in regards to telling him something along those lines I'll share.

We'd love hear how that convo went.

Have you thought about suggesting an in-house separation like I mentioned above?

Troilus

[shesmypornstar]

Hi, shesmypornstar,

You said:

she did say that shes made up her mind and if she actually does invite him out, she plans on telling him that shes thinking about getting a separation. Now does she actually want a separation? I don't know, and we'll certainly talk that through, but I don't think she does. What I do now think though is that she 100% does want to explore something with him. Whether it be a one time hookup, fuck buddies, full on affair or even dating, I don't know. But based on today's conversation, if she asks him out that night I better be prepared for whatever comes of i

Any further discussions on this, that you can share?

Not really. She did say the other day that she has no intention of breaking our family up, so a legit separation seems to be off the table which is a positive. We're kinda talking on that topic tonight, so if I bring it up, and ask what her intentions are in regards to telling him something along those lines I'll share.

We'd love hear how that convo went.

Have you thought about suggesting an in-house separation like I mentioned above?

Troilus

We had a more detailed conversation about that last night. I was straight forward and questioned her intentions with the separation talk. "You said that if you invited him out you were going to tell him we're getting separated, but then you said last week you have no intention of breaking up our family and getting a separation. So are you not telling him that anymore?"

She confirmed that no she does not want to separate, but yes, if she does make a move to get some alone time with him she plans on telling him that we're separated within the house and hiding it from the kids. He'll certainly understand that approach to a separation so shes going to go that route and gauge his response. She mentioned a few times that her biggest concern with this is the possibility that she starts something and doesn't want to stop. I told her thats perfectly understandable and that she wouldn't have to stop, but she reiterated that her concern is what happens if he wants her to chose and she chooses him because she doesn't want to stop. Again, nothing new, but shes essentially telling me that a play separation could very well turn into the real thing if she gets forced to chose.

On another note during the same conversation she mentioned that she wants my help in doing a better job to set this up. I thought she was comfortable enough to make a move on her own, which she is, but she wants me to invite him around more so that her invite doesn't seem out of the blue. Understandable on her end so I'll have to do more to make us, and her seeing him a more regular thing so shes comfortable in asking for alone time.

Last update for now and something a bit unexpected. She recently mentioned a new guy at work that she finds attractive and she waited to tell me about him until she got some kind of indication from him that he may be interested in her. She had been doing some light flirting, a lot of smiling and in her own words "a bit of eye fucking" which she wasn't sure if he was picking up on. She was having a bit of an off day last week and didn't go out of her way to give him the usual stair-down and smile which resulted in him stopping by to check and ask if everything was ok. Obviously nothing groundbreaking, but it means that he noticed and felt he could approach her in some friendly capacity. To show a bit more effort on her part, her workplace had some professional development the other day and when given a choice about what small group she wanted to work with she chose his and they basically spent the entire day together.

Hes married, has the same number of kids that we do, and that in her mind makes him maybe an easier target than the neighbor considering her and the coworker would both be having an affair, rather than her trying to have an affair with our single neighbor. I understand that logic, but in my mind that means he'll 100% have to make the first move as I don't see her being the first to cross the line with a married man. She'll keep putting in the work to let him know of her interest, lets see how it develops and if he takes the bait.

[Brute]

And she finds this exciting also, I mean she likes the idea for more than just making you happy?

[shesmypornstar]

And she finds this exciting also, I mean she likes the idea for more than just making you happy?

Yes as she put it, she's putting herself out there more so she has something to tease and entertain me with, but "c'mon I'm married i'm not dead"