Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[Tryn]

Has SW been doing her homework? Anything new come out of therapy, by way of SW slipping up on her stories, or by you picking up some cues? Your soap opera is one of my favorite threads on here.

[Trickydicky69]

I bet poor SF is paying the price for the business deal blowing up and having to work even harder!

[william70]

I wouldn't worry about SF. Shit rolls off him like butter in a no-stick fry pan.

[johnstevens555]

I wouldn't worry about SF. Shit rolls off him like butter in a no-stick fry pan.

That is the nicest thing I have ever seen you post on this forum. Keep it up!

[slenderfish]

I bet poor SF is paying the price for the business deal blowing up and having to work even harder!

This is exactly true. Never been this besieged with heavy projects. And the tax deadline yesterday added to it all, over the past several weeks.

I'm in recovery mode today, and it feels like a bad hangover. Time to catch up on some things, including getting my (expired) driving license renewed, etc.

Also this forum.

[slenderfish]

I wouldn't worry about SF. Shit rolls off him like butter in a no-stick fry pan.

That is the nicest thing I have ever seen you post on this forum. Keep it up!

I'll take this as a compliment. Kind of true.

[slenderfish]

Has SW been doing her homework? Anything new come out of therapy, by way of SW slipping up on her stories, or by you picking up some cues? Your soap opera is one of my favorite threads on here.

Yes and no.

In our last session, she said she did take time for self-pleasure, but didn't get into the details of any fantasy. She did not look at any porn sites.

The therapist took a different tack, and asked her to just start a scenario in her head and play it out, and when she can't take it any more, to then start with her finger or toy, etc. and to really visualize what comes to her imagination. Not sure if she's tried that yet.

The reason is because I've been so busy, we agreed to keep SW occupied by bringing her mother into town, to stay with us for a week. Mom left yesterday.

We skipped the therapist this week (yesterday) because of scheduling difficulties.

[slenderfish]

SW is now over 60 days into a self-imposed 90-day break from wine/alcohol. I'm supporting her and hope it doesn't become "a thing" but rather just her being more self aware and knowing that she can enjoy life and go out with friends with or without wine. So far, so good.

In our last session with the therapist, we were asked to describe our "go-to" fantasy or "hottest" version of sex. SW was having difficulty so I went first.

I said that I envisioned watching her get all dolled up for a first date with a man who has caught her fancy. That she was smiling all the time, preparing her body with a shower, shave, hair blow-dry, makeup, primping, and sexy but very appropriate dress. That she kind of teased me with the fact that all this is for another man, and that the unknown (with him) is tantalizing to her and to me.

[TheHammer]

SW is now over 60 days into a self-imposed 90-day break from wine/alcohol. I'm supporting her and hope it doesn't become "a thing" but rather just her being more self aware and knowing that she can enjoy life and go out with friends with or without wine. So far, so good.

In our last session with the therapist, we were asked to describe our "go-to" fantasy or "hottest" version of sex. SW was having difficulty so I went first.

I said that I envisioned watching her get all dolled up for a first date with a man who has caught her fancy. That she was smiling all the time, preparing her body with a shower, shave, hair blow-dry, makeup, primping, and sexy but very appropriate dress. That she kind of teased me with the fact that all this is for another man, and that the unknown (with him) is tantalizing to her and to me.

What was her reaction to your fantasy and what did she tell the therapist her fantasy was?

Glad to hear she is 60 days sober.

[Mark KL]

Catching up. Good to hear.

[slenderfish]

What was her reaction to your fantasy and what did she tell the therapist her fantasy was?

Glad to hear she is 60 days sober.

As luck would have it, the session was up at that point. The therapist gave her homework to really attempt to put detail and texture around a fantasy this week, and masturbate to it, and to report back.

[slenderfish]

Has SW been doing her homework? Anything new come out of therapy, by way of SW slipping up on her stories, or by you picking up some cues? Your soap opera is one of my favorite threads on here.

It is literally like a soap opera, at least our social life.

SW is the hottest in our group of friends, which itself is full of beauties. Over time, some of the girls have tended to revert to their 5th and 6th grade "mean girl" proclivities.

One girl in particular has been together with one of my best guy friends, for almost 10 years now, and was initially very close with SW. This friend of mine (her boyfriend) has by far the most money in our close group. He's a bit of a Type A personality, but is allowed by us guys to get away with it, as we kind of humor him. He is generous and has a lovely heart, but doesn't really run deep in terms of being a truly reliable friend. We have traveled the world as couples for so many years. In recent years, this woman has started to become more competitive with SW in subtle ways.

SW pointed out the competitive behavior and asked her to curb it. That lasted for a short time, but then resumed in a bigger way. SW then "stepped away" from the friendship and it was difficult on us guys. We stopped hanging with them and I only saw my friend on guys' nights and activities. This was essentially the situation all through the pandemic.

About a year ago, I brokered a peace accord and the girls agreed to work on re-establishing a friendship but not as deep as before, More that they should get along and enjoy times when we get together as couples. We started with larger groups and then in late 2022 were readily doing things together as couples.

But on SW's birthday (this year) this girl passed along some mean gossip to a few of her sycophant friends (she is with the money guy so can collect these kind of friends) and turned these girls against SW. I was offended that they would do this at a party I'd arranged (and paid for); it was the best and biggest party in our social circle since the end of the pandemic. It was 50 people at an upscale bar/restaurant. So when the worst of the gossip made it back to SW (and me) a couple of days later, it was devastating to SW. And, as I noted above, I was disappointed and offended. So I sent an email message to all the party attendees essentially calling out these girls for their behavior. I didn't actually identify any person, but everyone figured it out over time.

So we are in a bit of a social turmoil right now. SW elected to take this time (the past several weeks) and focus on herself and only her closest, reliable friends. And me, of course.

[Trickydicky69]

I can imagine that really plays on her mind. If she’s anything like my wife- a conformist who wants to be popular- then wicked gossip will eat away at her self esteem.
Me, I ignore it or confront it, probably like yourself SF but not everyone is so resilient.

[afagehi7]

What was her reaction to your fantasy and what did she tell the therapist her fantasy was?

Glad to hear she is 60 days sober.

As luck would have it, the session was up at that point. The therapist gave her homework to really attempt to put detail and texture around a fantasy this week, and masturbate to it, and to report back.

This is one amazing therapist! I have never heard of a therapist being so adept at sex stuff.

[william70]

Did the gossip have anything to do with her alcohol consumption?

[slenderfish]

Did the gossip have anything to do with her alcohol consumption?

SW has always been the "fun drunk" at our social events. During the pandemic, she really got into her red wine consumption (as you may have noticed from my posts). This continued for some time even over the past year or so, and (also as per these posts) she and I were starting to wonder if it has become "a thing" that she may not be able to control.

In July of 2021 she was out drinking with a girlfriend and got really angry upon entering this girlfriend's apartment around midnight. This girl's boyfriend was away for a work assignment. They had walked that summer night, and then called me to let me know SW was going to spend the night and sleep it off. She got angry because this girlfriend had been complaining for months about her boyfriend, to whom SW and I had introduced her, because he wasn't progressing in the relationship. Wasn't "treating her right" as the girls said. SW had been the shoulder for crying on, for many months of all this, and had suggested just breaking it off. She'd advised to certainly not have the guy move in with her.

Well, upon entering the apartment SW noticed all the guy's stuff. She "went off" on the girl and they ultimately just ran out of steam and fell asleep.

The next morning she came home, and said she needs to get with the girl and apologize. She did so, and asked the friend not to share with the boyfriend, because he's the kind of guy who will take it personally. This girlfriend also shared with another mutual girlfriend, who assured that SW was just being a "momma bear" and that it was because SW really cares about her, and also cautioned not to share with the boyfriend.

She subsequently shared with the boyfriend, and then it went around the girls' group. A few of the girls who are jealous of SW have encouraged this woman to hold a grudge against SW and not to accept the apology. This has persisted since that time.

More later.

[slenderfish]

What was her reaction to your fantasy and what did she tell the therapist her fantasy was?

Glad to hear she is 60 days sober.

As luck would have it, the session was up at that point. The therapist gave her homework to really attempt to put detail and texture around a fantasy this week, and masturbate to it, and to report back.

This is one amazing therapist! I have never heard of a therapist being so adept at sex stuff.

Yes, I agree. We found a winner. It took quite the research to find a sex-positive therapist, versed in alternative lifestyles, who is fully mainstream in every other respect.

[Trickydicky69]

Yep SF, just like my wife. She’s a happy drunk at first, using the alcohol to break down her social reservations, needing it as a crux really, then has too much and stops being a fun drunk and takes it all out, usually on me!
Usually tells me off next day when she’s paying for it, “why did I let her drink so much”. As if I could stop her once she gets to that stage!

[slenderfish]

Hey readers/friends. I realize this string is now very long and it's not realistic for everyone to go back and read all of it. And for those who have read it all, it's easy to forget some details. Hell, even I sometimes forget what I wrote, and it's too much of a chore to go back and prove out my memory.

Just to establish some realities, a quick summary of highlights with respect to SW and her actual hotwife adventures:

August/Sep 2020: She had been flirting with Mr. B (a tall dark hunky athlete, about 6'5") for almost two years, she invited him over to a "girls' party" she was hosting while I went out of state on a remote (no communication) camping and biking trip with my son and brothers in the high Rocky Mountains. She hid the fact that she invited him, but he wasn't aware of the subterfuge and let it slip to me in advance. They had the party, the girls attended, also Mr. B as the only guy, and the girls all were gone by 11:30 p.m. SW and Mr. B continued the party with music, wine, and SW dancing on the pole for him. He spent the night. She later denied all of it, although much of the activity was captured on a security camera she'd asked me to set up earlier in the year, but she had forgotten about. The camera footage shows him taking her hand at about 1:30 a.m. and leading her into our bedroom, and the door shutting. Also shows him leaving the next morning around 7:00 a.m. I still have the security footage and go back to it from time to time. Very hot.

She was aware of my hotwife desires, so I waited for her to tell me that she did this all as a hotwife adventure. But she did not, and I told her if she wants to play around, then it has to be as a hotwife; I won't continue a marriage with cheating. She agreed to give it a try.

Sep-Dec 2020: She selected a man we'd previously met, a tall dark hunky athlete (6'6" or taller if I recall), Mr. S. He lives in her hometown/state two time zones away. They saw each other in late September, he was too aggressive the first date, she was initially put off by that, but I composed an email for her to communicate to him how she wants to be seduced. He generally got the message and they saw each other again in October. By November he was "in" and she was a hotwife. She saw him also again later in November and early December. Those last encounters were bareback. She told me all about Mr. S as it went along and I was involved from her side, but he was not aware. I have one voicemail she left for me, immediately after the first bareback, wherein she describes the evening and the lead-up, the dinner, the hotel room, the encounter, his orgasm, her orgasm, and the aftermath. Hot.

Oct-Nov 2020: She had reconnected with Mr. M, a former boyfriend (she'd dated him while he was married and she ultimately broke it off when his wife had a child and he did not leave her). This was many years ago and he was now finally getting that divorce. She had a full phone sex encounter with him, which she said she set up so I would overhear it, which I did and which I was able to record and save on video. I'd say that was late October. One of the nights when she was back in her hometown, at the hotel to meet up with Mr. S (above), he was unavailable so SW arranged to meet up with Mr. M and she executed her plan to seduce him. This was totally unexpected by me, and she left me a voicemail immediately after this encounter (which was one night before or after Mr. S) as a surprise gift. Said the physical element of being wit Mr. M was easy, like "getting back on a bike" in that they knew each other's bodies, preferred positions, etc. He came all over her belly. Super hot!

Mr. M was embarrassed that he let himself be seduced (he had a girlfriend at the time) and, apparently not trusting himself around SW, stopped contacting her.

Mr. S did not follow through with agreed plans to travel to our state in January 2021 to meet up with SW and celebrate their birthdays (they coincidentally have the same birth day, different years), and this rankled SW. She decided he wasn't giving her sufficient attention and broke things off with him, stopping talking to him altogether by the end of February.

As far as I can tell, she has not been active since that time.

[veub]

I have to say that to me, the surprising thing is that you are still married to her.
It's been two years that you have been nagging her about this. Many (most?) women would have told you to go fuck yourself. She must be an extremely patient woman.

[rooster444]

She could easily have substituted the wine with hotwifing and chasing down her trainer or others but has taken a different turn. I think the recent drama may have caused SW some hard / negative feelings which I think a little pep talk might cure. "Honey, you need to get your groove back! Get that fun energy and positive vibe going and your carefree confidence back! Why not find the young guy you met at the bar and let him help pull you out of this! He will enjoy you, you will regain what this drama took and I will get my old hotwife back!"

PS (I think you forgot the big burly guy she went around the corner with and came back licking her lips with skinned knees)

[william70]

For the life of me I still don't understand why you won't bring up Mr. B to your wife and or to the councilor. Also, why won't you ask Mr.B what happened?

[johnstevens555]

Slenderfish, I wonder if you might entertain a theory that I have give about your wife and me your opinion. Much digital ink has been spilled regarding the many other incidents that you don’t considered official hook ups because your wife never admitted the hooking up. Including, but not limited to Mr. B’s secret lady’s night that was caught on camera, Mr. B the night at your condo when you trailed behind the give them time, the big burly foreigner mentioned above, the guy in the car a few weeks ago who who you suspected was fingering her, a black guy or two that she met while out by herself that you caught her texting with but she never admitted.

I wonder your wife is one of those people that has different standards from most people on what constitutes hooking up. It would make sense if just doesn’t admit anything happened unless it was full blown intercourse. Like, if she gave one of them a blew one of them, or gave a handjob, or got fingered she didn’t feel the need to confess to you because she doesn’t consider at sex.

Do you think this idea has merit? Have you considered this? I know you have told her many times that you won’t tolerate cheating, but maybe she doesn’t consider this cheating.

[rooster444]

Sounds like very little sharing and suspect levels of honesty are going on here so I'd say yeah, there is cheating going on and she knows the consequences. And this is why she doesn't come clean and this is why SF doesn't push the point. They want to be together and dance around the ultimatum attached to the indiscretions. Sounds more like a 'hide it, don't ask, don't tell, we love each other, I'll do my own detective work' than an open and communicative relationship.

[Trickydicky69]

I think perhaps you’re being a bit harsh on SW - she’s not my wife so SF can defend her. But she sounds very similar to mine in terms of psychological make up.

JS555 has merits- her definition of cheating might be different to yours but more likely, she knows the consequences of mild cheating- BJ, mutual masturbation etc, wouldn’t be severe and indeed, sufficient to play into SFs kink. After all, she doesn’t really seem that keen on hotwifing so if a bit of mild sexual activity is enough to press his buttons, then she’ll indulge that far.
It’s only when she meets someone she genuinely is interested in, does she seem to clam up. Because that would require being honest about her turn ons. We can see that from the therapist sessions- despite explicit instructions, SW will not open up about pornography, fantasies etc.

My wife is notoriously unable to talk about her feelings or thoughts- she never wants to nail her colours to the mast. This is because there is a danger she might be wrong! So forever sits on the fence- if no decision is made she can’t be wrong, no-one can be offended, her choice cannot come back to haunt her etc
Combined with her strong desire to fit in, follow the crowd, be a popular team player, always conform etc

If SW does cheat, it’s with someone she has an interest in but paradoxically for SF, she won’t want to tell him, because then that gives SF deep knowledge about her and therefore some power over her.

People like my wife are perpetually afraid of being vulnerable even when they lose out on a richer life.
SW is probably afraid he’ll leave her if she shows her true colours. Ironically though, it’s the thing that drives him mad and more likely to make them split- her inability to open up.

Lastly, this can apply to many of us, not just SW:
If she meets a guy who is richer, better looking, better connected than SF, she would want to keep that a secret in case she ever thinks there’s a chance it might lead to something permanent. I know it sounds cynical but that’s life!
She wouldn’t want SF shutting that down because he got wind it was potentially marriage splitting.