As a wannabe I'm at a point where at this moment I have all the control. To my surprise my conservative innocent perfect mom and wife was not at all shocked when I laid out in crumbs that I would be extremely turned on to see her pleased by another man. Within weeks she wanted to roleplay, within Months she asked the 'what if I were to...' A year later she's the one initiating the role-play, and often asks that I "whisper a story." If I ask her what kind she says "you know...." or "where we live out OUR fantasy..."
When she doesn't bring it up I can read it in her eyes. I know she's thinking about it (and so am I.) If she's having a hard time reaching orgasm I can make her orgasm within 10 seconds of calling her "my hotwife."
This came with a lot of positives. A lot more sex. I mean we went from 1-2 times a week to up to 10 times a week. All the positives others mentioned in their experiences and even more. She's more playful, more flirty (with me,) has more energy and overall a higher self esteem. Invests more in her wardrobe.
And now she knows how to take a compliment whereas before she would would just be flustered and feel like people are being dishonest.
Like the n'th time someone asks if she is Natalie Portman. Seriously. We made new friends at the neighborhood pool and before we left my wife traded numbers with the other wife for kids playtime. On the walk home my wife mentioned how much the husband who was acting shy was staring at her, to the point she felt slightly uncomfortable. Minutes later the other wife texts her "LOL My husband is convinced you are Natalie Portman..." - This explained his behavior.
At this moment I feel in complete control. If I want this to be a reality I know she will jump right into it.
In fact I feel she's just a bit frustrated that I don't move things from fantasy to reality.
My concern is what this could do to our marriage.
We enjoy each other, we enjoy our kids. We enjoy our community.
Were at the best place we have been in 12 years.
There's no reason to risk it. In fact I realize now that perhaps people become obsessed with this sort of thing because they lack those core things in their life.
Here is the reason I will not move forward with the lifestyle. Because there is 1% chance it could jeopardize our relationship.
Here is my questions to wannabes.
So. Would you still insist on making this reality?
Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
Re: Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
Welcome to the forum.
Re: Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
Welcome :-) I was a wannabe this time one year ago -- in a similar place to where you are now. Family, young kids, etc etc.
Nothing in life is without risk, as you know. But if you have a solid relationship and a good sex life together, the risks from non-monogamy go way down, I think. Hotwifing could well make your relationship stronger and even more loving. And the sex could get even hotter for you.
We were never really talkers in bed, mainly because neither of us enjoyed having to make up stories while having sex. But now ... we talk a lot more, because it's all real, and it's super hot for both of us. Things she's done. Men she's fantasizing about. Things and men she will do. It's fantastic.
How would you feel in your old age, if you got this close to giving it a try, and didn't? Many regrets, perhaps? OTOH, if you try it, and it's not for you? Oh well, right? It was an adventure you can chuckle about together in your golden years. "Hey, remember when I fucked that guy? Haha". You can go back to monogamy at any time, if that's what you want.
If she does this, keep in mind that there will probably be little bumps in the road - mainly for you. The best advice I learned the hard way over the past year is to relax, trust her, and let her drive. Tell her what is and isn't OK with you, but try to be as relaxed as you can about it, and then relax some more. That will smooth any bumps, and you'll both soon figure out whether/how this works for both of you.
Giving up control is good for you. I think it's a kind of personal growth. And she'll probably love you all the more for it.
I didn't vote, because I don't know how to quantify the real-life difference between, say, a 1% and 5% risk to my marriage. I would never want to do anything that posed a meaningful, evident risk to our marriage. But I feel like our marriage is strong, so there aren't many things that rise to that level of risk. How about you?
A hotwife who looks like Natalie Portman. Oh my.
[ pics, yes please? ]
Nothing in life is without risk, as you know. But if you have a solid relationship and a good sex life together, the risks from non-monogamy go way down, I think. Hotwifing could well make your relationship stronger and even more loving. And the sex could get even hotter for you.
We were never really talkers in bed, mainly because neither of us enjoyed having to make up stories while having sex. But now ... we talk a lot more, because it's all real, and it's super hot for both of us. Things she's done. Men she's fantasizing about. Things and men she will do. It's fantastic.
How would you feel in your old age, if you got this close to giving it a try, and didn't? Many regrets, perhaps? OTOH, if you try it, and it's not for you? Oh well, right? It was an adventure you can chuckle about together in your golden years. "Hey, remember when I fucked that guy? Haha". You can go back to monogamy at any time, if that's what you want.
If she does this, keep in mind that there will probably be little bumps in the road - mainly for you. The best advice I learned the hard way over the past year is to relax, trust her, and let her drive. Tell her what is and isn't OK with you, but try to be as relaxed as you can about it, and then relax some more. That will smooth any bumps, and you'll both soon figure out whether/how this works for both of you.
Giving up control is good for you. I think it's a kind of personal growth. And she'll probably love you all the more for it.
I didn't vote, because I don't know how to quantify the real-life difference between, say, a 1% and 5% risk to my marriage. I would never want to do anything that posed a meaningful, evident risk to our marriage. But I feel like our marriage is strong, so there aren't many things that rise to that level of risk. How about you?
A hotwife who looks like Natalie Portman. Oh my.
[ pics, yes please? ]
Re: Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
Over a year ago I made a thread that detailed our first conversations, our roleplay, her opening up about men that flirted with her and how she enjoyed it etc.
I was close to posting a picture without her face but I wanted to wait until she was fully on board with the experience.
Right now I am glad I didn't.
I had time to process and although I want it in my head, the desire is not as animalistic as it was a year ago.
She also doesn't know about the site.
Not because I'm afraid she would be grossed out. But because I don't want to initiate anything at the moment that moves us closer to the lifestyle.
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tractorman2
- Pervert
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Re: Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
We have being active in this LS for over 30 years and started young, her first venture being when she was 16 and i was 21/22. During the following years we married when she was 18 and have grown closer together and enjoyed our plays and her lovers, mainly long term relationships. Our entry into the LS was initiated by her not me which is in itself unusual.
During this time she has tried for a baby with one long term lover, fallen in love with two of her lovers yet stayed with me being open and honest about her feelings and split from both as a result.
Our LS doesn’t detract from our normal life, we are both professionals, have bounced off each other and reared a family, forged good careers yet still enjoyed our hobby as we call it.
I have also seen one hell of a lot of wreckage over this time as relationships change as a result of this LS, one person not having the same level of desire as the other one, one says yes the other NO or one person is reluctant and feels pushed into something they do not want, often it is he that initiated it and now is not so sure.
Saying to a normal wife, I would like you to fuck another man whilst I watch is a fair big gamble and tester of a relationship and brings with it a host of questions, “why” being an easy starter question. Look at the boards for quotes about "my first wife" etc and see and understand how this LS can damage or destroy a marriage obviously in many cases there were other factors too.
I have often said "it’s is a dangerous game you seek to play" which is so true.
However it can work as some including us will confirm, openness and honest is a good start jealousy is a disaster in the making and mainly affects the man when he finds out and understands,
She now enjoys a lover much more than being with him, its more exciting and the sex and touch is different and better,
She wants more and more often, once she enjoys another man’s touch it’s like a drug, so she will likely want more with or without his consent and she knows she can get it,
Excellent sex is very emotional to a female more than a male and relationships and feelings are easily formed with the same lover over a short time,
Most but not all women lose some respect for their man for giving them the opportunity to taste the forbidden fruit and enjoying it,
You wanabees may think you keep her sexually happy, wait till she finds a true experienced lover, a man who can play her body and mind like a piano and then you see your place, that’s a hard one to accept, some men can others not.
In my case not being a very experience lover when we met, once freed of her virginity her desires, wants and expectations increased, she needed to explore her sexuality basically. Cheating with an older experienced man where she found orgasm after orgasm at his hand and tongue changed our relationship I couldn’t match this and knew it, so did she so it changed us both over the years and i became her confirmed cuck husband.
We have always been deeply in love with each other and have shared our joy of this kink together just in different ways, she likes me to be there and to watch for both our enjoyment she has always liked looking me in the eye whilst being fucked by her lover.
She went on to semi feminize me, yes something i have and do enjoy but overtime we ceased being lovers, becoming more best friends or as she said once more as a brother or sister to her, which is really sad. This made me physically very sexually frustrated, watching them, but not doing it myself or overtime not wanting to. I have for years preferred the comfort of a CB and the mental stimulation celibacy gives me, miles better than simply cumming and it’ ensures a semi permanent mental sexual high for me as she continues to expand my femine side and dressing me.
That’s simply my view others may disagree.
I have not amended the content but the poor spelling!
During this time she has tried for a baby with one long term lover, fallen in love with two of her lovers yet stayed with me being open and honest about her feelings and split from both as a result.
Our LS doesn’t detract from our normal life, we are both professionals, have bounced off each other and reared a family, forged good careers yet still enjoyed our hobby as we call it.
I have also seen one hell of a lot of wreckage over this time as relationships change as a result of this LS, one person not having the same level of desire as the other one, one says yes the other NO or one person is reluctant and feels pushed into something they do not want, often it is he that initiated it and now is not so sure.
Saying to a normal wife, I would like you to fuck another man whilst I watch is a fair big gamble and tester of a relationship and brings with it a host of questions, “why” being an easy starter question. Look at the boards for quotes about "my first wife" etc and see and understand how this LS can damage or destroy a marriage obviously in many cases there were other factors too.
I have often said "it’s is a dangerous game you seek to play" which is so true.
However it can work as some including us will confirm, openness and honest is a good start jealousy is a disaster in the making and mainly affects the man when he finds out and understands,
She now enjoys a lover much more than being with him, its more exciting and the sex and touch is different and better,
She wants more and more often, once she enjoys another man’s touch it’s like a drug, so she will likely want more with or without his consent and she knows she can get it,
Excellent sex is very emotional to a female more than a male and relationships and feelings are easily formed with the same lover over a short time,
Most but not all women lose some respect for their man for giving them the opportunity to taste the forbidden fruit and enjoying it,
You wanabees may think you keep her sexually happy, wait till she finds a true experienced lover, a man who can play her body and mind like a piano and then you see your place, that’s a hard one to accept, some men can others not.
In my case not being a very experience lover when we met, once freed of her virginity her desires, wants and expectations increased, she needed to explore her sexuality basically. Cheating with an older experienced man where she found orgasm after orgasm at his hand and tongue changed our relationship I couldn’t match this and knew it, so did she so it changed us both over the years and i became her confirmed cuck husband.
We have always been deeply in love with each other and have shared our joy of this kink together just in different ways, she likes me to be there and to watch for both our enjoyment she has always liked looking me in the eye whilst being fucked by her lover.
She went on to semi feminize me, yes something i have and do enjoy but overtime we ceased being lovers, becoming more best friends or as she said once more as a brother or sister to her, which is really sad. This made me physically very sexually frustrated, watching them, but not doing it myself or overtime not wanting to. I have for years preferred the comfort of a CB and the mental stimulation celibacy gives me, miles better than simply cumming and it’ ensures a semi permanent mental sexual high for me as she continues to expand my femine side and dressing me.
That’s simply my view others may disagree.
I have not amended the content but the poor spelling!
Last edited by tractorman2 on Wed Aug 02, 2023 1:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
Wow! Tractorman2 has got some definite wisdom there for sure boys. Reread that a few times, the man knows something for sure. I think this LS can for sure devastate many relationships. Women tend to focus on one man. They may not get attached to most bulls, but one will show up who plays her just right. You may be done for at that point. I think about this a lot. Why do we push our wives to another man? Then lament when she likes him better? In our minds we think she will just fuck him for the joy of fucking (like a shameless whore), but it might turn out to be a whole lot more. We men might like to operate like a shameless whore if given the opportunity, but women are different creatures. That's possibly our downfall, thinking that women would like to be like men, most don't.
If I get the opportunity I will risk it for a time or two and see what happens. We can always go back (if she is willing to go back, maybe she won't). Right no, it's still a hard "no". So all this is theoretical for me anyway.
If I get the opportunity I will risk it for a time or two and see what happens. We can always go back (if she is willing to go back, maybe she won't). Right no, it's still a hard "no". So all this is theoretical for me anyway.
Re: Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
I picked up to 25% risk, I did it thinking most marriages are 50/50 so a 75% chance is still better than average.
Some great replies by a few people considering the risk of the lifestyle.
The fact my wife and I are considering it Has definitely helped our marriage as far as connection and passion.
I'm someone who needs some kind of risk in my passion it seems, finding my wife is willing to work through that and have some fun with it is awesome.
I think I would be very cautious to do it with anyone other than the person we both have in mind, who is a very familiar FWB she's known most of her life.
Was in an open relationship for quite a few years, and it worked fairly well, as we always were extremely honest and put one another first.
Understanding the difference between good sex and love can be confusing at times though.
Right now my wife suggested we consider it as a once a year type thing, and I think that's a great way to start initially.
I've also always thought if my partner met someone they prefer to be with more than me, then that's where they should be. Of course that would be a very difficult thing to go through, but there's always more fish in the sea.
I am curious what is a CB that is referenced in Tractorman2's response.
Some great replies by a few people considering the risk of the lifestyle.
The fact my wife and I are considering it Has definitely helped our marriage as far as connection and passion.
I'm someone who needs some kind of risk in my passion it seems, finding my wife is willing to work through that and have some fun with it is awesome.
I think I would be very cautious to do it with anyone other than the person we both have in mind, who is a very familiar FWB she's known most of her life.
Was in an open relationship for quite a few years, and it worked fairly well, as we always were extremely honest and put one another first.
Understanding the difference between good sex and love can be confusing at times though.
Right now my wife suggested we consider it as a once a year type thing, and I think that's a great way to start initially.
I've also always thought if my partner met someone they prefer to be with more than me, then that's where they should be. Of course that would be a very difficult thing to go through, but there's always more fish in the sea.
I am curious what is a CB that is referenced in Tractorman2's response.
Our hotwife journey story so far
viewtopic.php?f=48&t=60133
viewtopic.php?f=48&t=60133
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tractorman2
- Pervert
- Posts: 702
- Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2018 5:05 am
Re: Would you still try the HW Lifestyle IF:...?
CB is a chastity device, sorry i should have clarified this, the B commonly refered to a belt, though more modern devices now lock around a mans balls and encase his cock thus ensuring inactivity with a women and severe pain if he has gets a hard-on. Wearing an actual belt i think is not common now, though i have one but am rarely allocated it as it a large item, uncomfortable and impossible to wear under jeans without being obvious, certainly not for daily wear though handy if your allocated a butt plug and staying at home!BBCfan wrote: ↑Wed Aug 02, 2023 8:31 amI picked up to 25% risk, I did it thinking most marriages are 50/50 so a 75% chance is still better than average.
Some great replies by a few people considering the risk of the lifestyle.
The fact my wife and I are considering it Has definitely helped our marriage as far as connection and passion.
I'm someone who needs some kind of risk in my passion it seems, finding my wife is willing to work through that and have some fun with it is awesome.
I think I would be very cautious to do it with anyone other than the person we both have in mind, who is a very familiar FWB she's known most of her life.
Was in an open relationship for quite a few years, and it worked fairly well, as we always were extremely honest and put one another first.
Understanding the difference between good sex and love can be confusing at times though.
Right now my wife suggested we consider it as a once a year type thing, and I think that's a great way to start initially.
I've also always thought if my partner met someone they prefer to be with more than me, then that's where they should be. Of course that would be a very difficult thing to go through, but there's always more fish in the sea.
I am curious what is a CB that is referenced in Tractorman2's response.