Hello, maybe a Wannabe?

[whosbeensleeping]

Thank you for sharing. Real life experiences are often difficult. I come here to learn from everyone, and I appreciate your candor.

[Wantsomefunto]

Numbers guy
Thanks for posting what I can only imagine is a difficult thing to even think about. A wife being dishonest and cheating is so difficult to deal with. I have been there so I know your angst.

The good thing is you both seem committed to what other wise seems to have been a good relationship. Talking about things openly will only bring you two closer now that she has told you of her indiscretions.

Maybe begin to ask her to tell you every detail of her last encounter. See how she reacts as she tells it. Does she get wet telling you and wants you to have sex with her after? Do you get hard as she tells you the dirty details? Ask her about his size and how long he fucked her and how many times. Did he cum inside her or use condoms? If you become very hard as she tells you, she will notice and be even more open with you about her sexual needs.

Seems she was a little slutty in her past and I am guessing she misses that rush and therefore has acted on her slutty desires when she travels. She seems like a perfect HW! Enjoy the ride!

[allways]

[quote I said I would keep my end of the bargain. She was forgiven. I still loved her. I said that if she’s committed to our relationship like I am, I can see a path where we could have an even more loving and closer relationship now. But we need to keep talking.

Thank you guys for letting me unload all of this on you. I’ll be honest, I don’t think we could handle the jump to “hotwife” anytime soon, although I’ve been an unknowing cuck.
[/quote]
Once you get over the shock and the fact that it really turns you on Your pretty wife is secure in knowing any number of men can have her and you will love it. From your side you can put demands on her as to being able to be actively involved in watching. You gave a bit and now you can gain a lot from being so accomodating.

[Wantsomefunto]

So glad you got the truth out in the open. She seems like a beautiful, successful and highly sexual lady! You are lucky man in my opinion. Ask her for details about her last encounter and see if you get hard as she tells you. That will help you decide if you want her to continue having sex when she travels. Only this time she can let you know as it happens.

[BallSpanking]

I thought your description of her trysts was very interesting. The fact she participated in her office affair for years, even after marriage, implies she is able to decouple her sexual encounters from her home life, and has done so successfully during your marriage.
Have you introduced her to the HotWife concept? Does she know you would be supportive?

[Lucky Dog]

You sound like a really great husband, and you are both being very honest. If you are really a wannabe, a strong relationship is the only way this works. It's great having wife who loves sex and loves you, right?

[avid fan]

A very intriguing situation... good luck to you, sounds like if things play out right having turned a page in your relationship, it could open things up to some incredible opportunities!

[BallSpanking]

I have a hunch Anika could strongly identify with, and develop as, a HW ...
Secretly she thrills from being wanted and lusted after by these young studs.
It probably makes it an impossible temptation to resist if Kevin removes any constraints, or facilitates situations and encounters ...

[NumbersGuy]

Thank you for all of the support. I moved my posts over to the Cuckold section, given what I've learned. Under Discovering Anika.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

So should I say anything? Here I am encouraging her to become a hotwife but if I flip out over a past indiscretion, won’t that set me back, maybe forever? I should add that despite what I said in my previous post, I’m not as angry or as devastated as I thought I would be. It was a long time ago now and I remember that the first 2 years with kids wasn’t a great time in our marriage. I think I could just let it go, but the wondering is bothering me.

It is often suggested here the secret to successful and enjoyable ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) is Communication, Communication, and more Communication. If you are not comfortable asking her about the timing of the Israel conference, you two may not be ready to move this from fantasy to reality

Mr GILF

I agree with Mr GILF. But the OP's concerns about setting things back by confronting her are well merited.

My question for NumbersGuy: If you step past the deception/concealment issue, does the idea that she had a steamy fling in Israel turn you on?

If so, I'd set the issue aside until the sting of concealment has fully subsided. Then I'd bring the question up with her in a non-threatening way and let her know that thinking about that possible event turns you on, but hiding things from you is a violation of trust. Let her know you're not holding the past against her or dwelling on what she did as an offense, but just establishing an understanding for moving forward.

If all is good, maybe give her a smile to say "everything is okay," put her hand on your hard cock, and ask her for the juicy details! :-)

FWIW, we had something similar in our relationship. I also figured out that Shelley took a trip to Canada to spend a weekend with her previous boyfriend while we were early in dating by comparing an accidental disclosure of hers to a timeline of events when we were dating. I approached it exactly as described above.

[subbieCuck]

Numbers Guy, thank you for sharing your story. I'm pleased to see that you've found it in your heart to forgive your wife for her infidelity, which is undoubtedly a challenging path to take. I'd like to offer my perspective on the matter.

Cheating is often portrayed as a grave sin by society, and it certainly represents a betrayal of trust. However, I believe it's important not to exaggerate its significance. Cheating has been a part of human behavior for thousands of years, reflecting our primal instincts for sex, desire, and a lust for life that sometimes transcends the confines of our often stringent moral codes. In some ways, it challenges and dismantles puritanical notions and can also be seen as a rebellious act, particularly for women seeking freedom.

Additionally, for all those like me, who embrace the idea of being a cuckold: we desire our spouse to enjoy life to the fullest. The concept of being married to a rebellious, dominant woman who relishes in life's pleasures can be an unconventional but fulfilling.

[snoogaloo82]

I have to admit that the process you two went through is a good one in the long run as you now are communicating truthfully with each other and talking about having sex with another guy. I just wish that my sweetie was more open to the idea. She's open to trying it, but it took a little convincing on my part that I thought it would be very sexy of her to have a fling with another guy and that it would turn me on and our sex would be even more exciting than if she didn't have a fling with another guy. I just hope that when we finally do it she actually enjoys it. Is there anything I can do to help make it more likely that she'll enjoy the fling with the other guy?

[sandy691196]

She came home from her trip and we were able to sit outside on our balcony and enjoy a pleasant evening but I felt something was wrong. I thought maybe it's me, so I just brought it up. I said I know that I asked about her experiences with other guys and I’ve been talking about watching her with other guys but I couldn’t help but wonder about the timing of the Tel Aviv story she told me. She nodded with a tense face and she was holding back tears. She said she’d been thinking about it these past several days. When I casually asked about how many times she’d been to Israel, she knew for sure that I had been thinking about it, too. She told me she has been crying in private about it but she didn’t want to cry now, she didn’t want me to feel sorry for her.

When we were caught up in the heat of her telling me about her sexual past, she said she began that story and immediately recognized her mistake. But she couldn’t stop herself. She said it felt so good to let it out, to unburden herself of the secret. She said she’s never told anyone, not even her best friends. Her friends think highly of me as a husband and a father and she would be too ashamed to tell them that she cheated on me and endangered it all.

I told her that I understood. I said that it's painful for me for two reasons. First, she lied and two, she had to live with a lie. Living with a lie like that had kept us from being as emotionally close as we could have been.

She asked me what I was going to do. She asked if I thought we needed counseling. Then, she whispered in a hoarse voice, do we need to get lawyers?

I said I absolutely hope not the lawyers. I told her I couldn’t imagine anything so terrible as tearing us apart, our family apart, especially if she and I both want it to work out.

She immediately hugged me as tight as she ever has and began sobbing in my chest. Said she would do anything to keep us together. I didn’t cry, just deep breathing to keep my head clear.

I said I wasn’t against counseling but I felt if we felt we could achieve open and honest communication on our own, I wouldn’t feel it necessary.

Then, with a deep breath, I said that this moment is the big moment. Her chance to answer my next question fully and honestly. I promised that anything said now would be forgiven.

Have there been others?

Three other guys, in addition to the guy in Israel. Israel, as she had said, was someone she never saw again.

I nodded. Controlling my shock, trying to keep my face stoic as she watched me closely. Tell me.

The first wasn’t Israel. It was a former boyfriend and it wasn’t long after our wedding. She had been traveling for a work trip and they had arranged to meet for a drink and one thing led to another. For the next several months, work sent her to that city and they met up several times. She doesn’t remember how many. Maybe 3 or 4. He's now married himself and she hasn't seen him in many years.

The next was a man who was considered an important client of her company. This actually started before we were married and occurred occasionally for several years. He was older and she said it wasn’t particularly passionate for her but she found the circumstances erotic. When they would be at the same conference or event, he would basically demand her. After our marriage, he said he didn’t see why it needed to stop. This ended years ago when he retired and just stopped seeing him.

The most recent was in early 2021. Her first business trip as we were coming out of covid. She said she thinks she was starved for social interaction and she was having dinner at a hotel bar and met a young man and she went up to his room. She said it was a few hours, she didn’t even tell him her real name and she doesn’t know his.

I will tell you that at this moment, afterwards, as I think it over and tell you about it, I am turned on. However, when she was talking, it was not erotic at all for me. I wasn’t hurt as much as I was in shock. I was literally shaking. I didn’t know what any of this meant. Her capacity for dishonesty is mind-blowing.

I said it sounds like she’s cheated on me throughout our marriage. She did some clarification and pointed out the long period when only the post-covid young man occurred and she said even that is nearly two years ago.

I then had to ask the next painful question. I really didn’t want to but I had to. Why? What’s wrong with just me?

She pleaded and tried to say that there’s nothing wrong with me. She said that her 100 best nights of sex were all with me. She said there’s never been a moment when there was a choice between being with me or another guy and she chose the other. But, she said that I did know she has a high sex drive and she said when she’s alone or away from home, she said the temptation can be too great for her. She said she’s thought of quitting her career or requesting a “no travel” arrangement but her career is a big part of her life and identity. But if I demanded it, she would do it, she’d quit.

Whew.

I said I would keep my end of the bargain. She was forgiven. I still loved her. I said that if she’s committed to our relationship like I am, I can see a path where we could have an even more loving and closer relationship now. But we need to keep talking.

Thank you guys for letting me unload all of this on you. I’ll be honest, I don’t think we could handle the jump to “hotwife” anytime soon, although I’ve been an unknowing cuck.

I haven't read through the entire thread at this point. But this last post by the OP, is one of the best I have come across on this site! Its so genuine, so touching, so engaging! he literally bares his heart with all its nuances!

Sex is sex.. the turn on is in its own place. But the real human emotions that he describes as he takes us through the tortuous path of his own kink and his wife's serial, opportunistic infidelity!

I don't know at this point, what happens next in their lives. But I simply couldn't resist the temptation to congratulate him right away- for his writing style, genuineness and depth of emotions.

All the best Numbers guy.

[Restarting]

With the air cleared, it may happen sooner than you think.
Your moment of discovery sounds similar to mine. It was the beginning of a new level of closeness.
Best of luck!

[54321]

I didn’t see anyone overtly staring but they had to have noticed.

One thing is clear. When this sensationally beautiful woman goes anywhere everyone notices!
The men notice, the women notice and even the children notice ("Look at that pretty lady!")

Stunning!

54321

[allways]

Bump its been over a year since you posted. Would be nice if you still visit site just to say hello.