They are a fantastic group of very knowledgeable ladies in the LL who, from what I have read, have a lot of common sense and will give you good, grounded advice.
Welcome on board.
![Mr. Green :mrgreen:](./images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif)
![yeehaw :whip:](./images/smilies/whip.gif)
Thank you for sharing your adventure with us. There are so many parts of your story that I can related to having gone through it all with my wife in the early stages of our hotwife journey. Please know that my wife also gets caught up in the moment and it's something I have learned over time means that it is a good thing. It means the sex is hot and she's having a great time and that she is going to bring that sexual energy home and share it with me as well. It took time for me to accept that when she is having hot sex with another guy, she's really not going to be thinking about me. I had to learn to give her the freedom to explore sexually with the guy she is with. We have gotten to the point now where she mostly just checks in to let me know she is safe. The longer I live the more I think happiness is a result of being present in your current moment, and nowhere is this more true than with sex.Xraygirl_4832 wrote: ↑Sun Dec 17, 2023 4:12 pmLookingforadventure wrote: ↑Sun Dec 17, 2023 12:15 pmSeekingmore raises some good points. Maybe I can add that I, too, have had the experience of having a solo date and not remembering to send enough texts and pics. It was unintentional, but did hurt my husband's feelings a bit. I understand how both of you are feeling.
In our case, we discussed it and eventually got to a place where he was ok with me being in the moment and having fun without worrying about him. If I sent nothing, he'd know it was because I was too busy having an amazing time and he'd be OK with that.
At the same time, I always try to check in and send the occasional update because I know he loves them. Seekingmore helps with that (as he mentioned). The key was talking it through and acknowledging how we felt.
In the same vein, I might suggest spending some time talking before your first threesome. We've had great ones and less great ones. Having some clear expectations and a code word for "let's check in for a second" can help.
I found it really hard at first to let go and enjoy myself because I was worried about making sure everyone else was having a good time. I wanted to be fair with my time, not ignore anyone, respond to both their cues, etc. It was exhausting.
Talking it through with each other helped me let go of that and trust him to be honest with me if he needed to be.
Keep having fun. I look forward to your next update.
I have to say that me not updating him as much as I should have was definitely unintentional, I admit I got caught up in the moment. My hope is we can move on from this and figure out what works for us. I’m coming from no experience and really appreciate any adviceit makes me feel better knowing other people went thru the same thing as I am.
Feel free to reach out and text with me. Glad to simply chat, flirt, or discuss lifestyle with you……Xraygirl_4832 wrote: ↑Sun Nov 12, 2023 5:31 pmMy husband and I are very new to the hotwife lifestyle. We have been together for over 20 years and married for 17. He was my first sexual experience. I have only had one other that was, to be blunt, horrible. I am finding myself struggling with flirting with other men. I haven’t had to do that in multiple years and I feel like I don’t know where to start. My husband and I were friends first so flirting with him came very easy. I’m curious, are there other women out there that struggled with this in the beginning? How did you get better?
The part I’m struggling the most with is messaging. My husband says I should message what feels natural, but that’s the issue. I feel out of my element. I would love to know how people’s conversations start and progress; at this point any input would be helpful. We have met with a couple of men and feel I do much better in person.
I hope I appeared in the mind movieSeekingmore12 wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 4:57 am
Story reminds me a little about sex club adventures, thanks for the mind movie !
G
Sounds like this ended up being a good experience all around, even if it had difficult moments for both of you.The good hub wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 4:48 amI have a lot of thoughts on this past weekend but will split it up so it’s not so long.
First and foremost, my XRG was a total rockstar about the whole thing!! Could not have been happier with how she handled the whole situation!! To review a little, I was not super impressed with our experience this far. I have not felt included and really questioning if this was something I wanted to continue. To be clear, I went into this to SHARE my wife NOT to loan her out or be replaced in any way; we were adding to our fun not substituting. So when B messaged us the middle of last eeek asking if we were interested in going to our first ls club, both of us had mixed emotions. After several discussions, we decided it was a good opportunity to check it out decided to go for it.
I feel the most important part of this is to discuss the discussion XRG and I had. We discussed, at great length, how she could make me feel involved. She asked what specifically I wanted her to do and honestly I had no idea. First thing I said was there was no sense in making a 4hr round trip with a hotel stay and paying club fee to just fuck B. If we were going to do the club, she needed to have other plans. It was kinda unfair to her but the future of our adventures was put on her without any guidance.
Skip ahead to our arrival at the club just to finish of my thoughts on this part. First person we saw walking in was B. By the time I checked our coats and drinks, he was already all over XRG. This was the first time I had seen her have any kind of romantic contact with anyone….. more on that later. B seemed to be taking possession a little bit to me but they had not seen each other in a month so I was ok with it. We made our way to an empty spot, that was barely large enough for all of us to stand, and were joined by B’s friend couple. At this point, I was really feeling like a 5th wheel cause B had his hands and mouth all over my wife in between brief conversations with his friends but here was where XRG turned into my hero. She turned to me, asked if I was ok, put her arm around me, and started kissing me. Lots more happened and I will get into that eventually but at that moment I felt included. She had done what even I didnt know how to do and to me that was some rock star shit!!
You were the lead actress !Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 7:34 amI hope I appeared in the mind movieSeekingmore12 wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 4:57 am
Story reminds me a little about sex club adventures, thanks for the mind movie !
G![]()
Seekingmore12 wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2024 4:57 amWow….from trouble flirting to sex club adventures…amazing !
I am a bit surprised that B left.
Story reminds me a little about sex club adventures, thanks for the mind movie !
G
I was surprised B left also. Our first reaction was he got miffed cause we hooked up with another guy but his friends had already left so maybe he had enough? Their were a bunch of girls there that were what he calls “his type” so maybe while we were playing, he found someone else? Who knows but I wasn’t too upset about it, lol!! I mean I like B don’t get me wrong but he was very demanding of XRG’s attention…… overly I felt.
Already talking about it and think your right, no B next time. Oh, and a different club alsoharmankard wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 7:10 amWhile the night wasn’t a resounding success I’d call it a win. I think B was aggressive and it was probably nice to have someone guide you the first time. I’d recommend going back without B. More fun will be had I bet!
Well to begin, from reading this post from beginning to end, you are certainly starting to get more comfortable in the lifestyle. The steps you’re taking are very admirable given your experience. Sounds like you’ve come a long way in a short time. That’s awesome.Xraygirl_4832 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2024 3:58 pmI agree, at first I was glad B was there because we knew absolutely no one, but as the night went on it was a little much. We want to go to a bigger club next time too. This one was way too small!
What's on her bucket list?The good hub wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2024 10:39 amMrs. XRG seems to prefer the Ladies Lounge these days so guessing most updates here will be coming from me, lol!!
After some time off for illness and an injury (not serious funny story) we decided this weekend was an opportunity to play. She sent out 3 feelers and 1 seems to be available. Figuring out the details now but everything looks to be a go. If it all works out, it will check another thing of XRG’s bucket list. Actually, might be a few things
XRG - Love it. Defined as - a list of sexual acts a person very much desires to experience.Xraygirl_4832 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 25, 2024 3:47 pmI mean who doesn’t have a big cock on their “fucket” list? A girl has to have goals.![]()
There’s a lot of room between “meet up for dinner” and “don’t want to play”.Xraygirl_4832 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 25, 2024 4:18 pmI agree, average size is great as long as you know how to use it![]()
So, TGH and I are meeting up with a swinger couple tomorrow night for dinner. We are trying to just find friends that we can talk with as none of our friends know we swing. We told them we didn’t want to play tomorrow, we just want meet up to chat and they were down with it. Fingers crossed we make some friends that we can talk with in the future. They are a full swap couple though so not sure how that will go with us just being into hot wifing (at least for now).